Death's Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day

Death walked through Ponyville, searching for the town's library. Despite how small the town seemed, one could quite easily get lost in its twisting streets, and there were far too many ponies crowding the town than could possibly live there.

Finally, after weaving through several large crowds and buying some (admittedly delicious) cookies from three small fillies who had stopped him in the street, he saw the great tree, towering over the surrounding buildings. As he approached it, he cloaked. He figured he might as well have a little fun while he was here.

Death walked through the library's door, closing it quietly. He immediately sensed something was wrong. For one thing, his greatest annoyance was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by six other mares.

"...And I have decided that it is of the utmost importance that we retrieve her, and I believe that, with my student's help, we can find a way to do it."

Death stepped up next to Princess Celestia, observing the mares that surrounded her. They all looked familiar, mainly because he had been in Destiny's office when his friend was working out their roles. They and Tragedy had been placing bets on whether or not Fate would crush their hopes and dreams before they got to this point. In the case that that happened, Destiny had backups in place.

Suddenly, Celestia's ears perked up, and her gaze drifted down toward where he stood. Looking back to the Element holders, she spoke.

"Girls," she said, addressing them, "I'm afraid that Death walks amongst us."

"Now, Princess, Ah'll admit that these here are some troublin' times, but that's pretty darned grim," said one of the mares. She was bright orange, and had a deep blonde mane.

The princess grimaced, looking back at Death.

"I am sorry to say it, Applejack, but I did not mean that metaphorically."

Death walked into the center of the circle of ponies, uncloaking. A collective gasp filled the room, accompanied by a rather loud groan emitted from Celestia.

A purple unicorn stepped forward, squinting at Death, as if she were trying to tell if he were real or not.

"He wasn't there before," she said, stating the obvious. From what Death knew, she probably had a knack for that.

"No, I wasn't," Death replied, grinning. This would be fun.

The mare in front of him seemed to space out, her mind obviously reeling as she tried to comprehend his sudden existence.

"You...are real, right?"

"Of course," said Death.

"B-but that is simply impossible. Any sort of invisibility spell takes a huge amount of magical might, and you...you're a pegasus!"

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"I-I...uh...?"

Twilight Sparkle looked to her princess, an extremely confused look plastered to her face. This pony was an anomaly in all that she considered real and possible, and that did not mesh with her.

"Awry," the Princess warned, glaring at him. This didn't bother him in the least. It wasn't the first time Celestia had been upset with him.

"Oh!" Awry exclaimed, a faux look of worry coming over his face. "Where are my manners? I think I left them in the ninth century. My name is Awry Dusk..." With this he extended a hoof, which Twilight shook eagerly.

"Well, It's wonderful to meet you, Mister Dusk! My name is-"

"...But, due to business standards, you can simply call me Death, Miss Sparkle."

Twilight quickly withdrew her hoof, holding it gingerly against her chest. She looked frightened.

"Twilight," said Celestia, still staring down Awry. "There is no need to be afraid of Awry. He is absolutely harmless."

"Oh, Celly," said Death, looking over his shoulder at the Princess. "We both know that isn't true."

Celestia leered at him, a slight growl emanating from her through.

"Now, Twilight Sparkle," he said, looking back to Celestia's most faithful student, "I have not come to cause you harm in any fashion. I just came to return your friendship report, here." He rematerialized the piece of parchment, giving to her. "I'm afraid you may have accidentally sent it to the wrong address."

Twilight looked at the letter in disbelief. Little did Death know, but a certain young dragon would be going over just how to send a letter properly later that evening.

"Thank you, Awry," said Celestia. "Now, if your business is done here-"

"No no no. This is far too interesting. Besides, I need an excuse to take a break. So, what's the lowdown?"

Celestia rolled her eyes before responding.

"Awry, you may not involve yourself in this. That is an order."

"And who are you to be giving me orders?"

"Oh hoho, Awry, we have had this conversation before, an-"

"Yes, in fact we had it this morning, and we both agreed that I was your superior."

"No, I simply stated that you were effectively my equal and...I'd rather not go through this in front of my student."

"No, no, do go on," Twilight piped up, her head cocked to one side. "This is interesting!"

Death was hovering now so that he could look at Celestia face to face.

"See?" he said, smiling. "Go on."

"Well...fine. I still believe that I am superior to you."

"Really? How so?"

"Well...I'm...I'm taller than you."

Death backed away from Celestia, landing.

"That's a low blow, Princess."

"I'm sorry, Awry," Celestia grinned. "But I'm afraid that's the only kind of blow I can deliver to somepony of your stature."

"Well," said Awry flying circles around Celestia. "I'm still older than you."

At this point, Twilight Sparkle stepped in again, giggling.

"That," she said, looking at Death, "is impossible. Celestia has been around since the Universe was created!"

Celestia groaned and covered her eyes with her wings.

"Well, no, actually," said Death, turning to Twilight, "She has been around since a while before this speck of a planet was made, but, while this is currently the only inhabited planet in the Universe—and trust me, if Destiny has his way, that won't be the case for long—the whole Universe has been around waaayyy longer than you could wrap your little pony mind around. Although I'll admit that I am only a few hundred years older than her."

Twilight Sparkle backpedalled, looking to her mentor for guidance.

Celestia frowned. "What Awry says is true, Twilight...and I am extremely annoyed with him for mentioning it."

"Pfft," Death smiled. This was going in his favor. "Your turn."

Celestia stared daggers at him, frowning deeply. "I am an Alicorn, and hence of a superior race to you!"

Death landed again, chuckling. "I'm sorry, Princess," he said with a smile, "but I'm going to have to write that off as a tad racist."

Now a Cyan mare walked up. She had an extremely unique milticolored mane, and a rather gruff voice.

"I'm going to have to agree with the albino on that one, Princess. Not cool."

Death turned on the newcomer, clearly very upset. His blank eyes were glowing slightly.

"I," he said, hovering just above the ground, "Am not. AN ALBINO."

Death hated being called an albino.

The Cyan mare, who's name Death knew to be Rainbow Dash, squealed, quickly letting out a stream of apologies. When she was done, Death alighted in front of the Princess again.

"Now," he said, "I want to know what's happening."

"Fine," said Celestia, giving in. "As of late, my sister has been...researching certain spells. Namely time altering ones. I believe that she may have accidentally..."

"Yeeess?"

"...Transported herself to the mid seventeenth century."

Death stared at Celestia, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

"...Huh...oh, well...gee." Death rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof, staring at the floor. "She could've at least said hi to me before disappearing."

Celestia sighed. Luna and Awry had always gotten along well. While he was her annoyance, he was almost like a big brother to Luna. He had been among the first to speak out when Celestia had banished Nightmare Moon, though he knew full well the circumstances that had led to the incident.

"Well," she said, "I have told you what is happening, now go on, leave."

"No."

"What?"

Death Casually strolled into a space between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, both of whom edged carefully away from him.

"I'm wanna help get Luna back," he said defiantly. "And there is nothing you can do about it."

Celestia bit her lip. She was quite clearly losing her patience with the entity who had barged in on her meeting.

"Fine!" she said turning to Twilight Sparkle. "I believe that you understand what needs to be done."

Twilight nodded, her horn beginning to glow with magic. Then the mare by the name of Rarity joined, and then Celestia. Death also joined in, his eyes aglow as magic flowed through him and into the spell matrix. He hadn't studied the spell, though, and was merely lending his magic to the process.

The other mares in the room paced eagerly (aside from an energetic pink one who had been staring at Awry and bouncing up and down since he had appeared. This pony wore an impossibly wide grin on her face, which actually startled Death quite a bit).

Suddenly there was a bright  flash, and then the world went black around them, the darkness enveloping them from nose to tail. Then another flash, and they were surrounded by a lush, vibrant forest, standing in a clearing around a small sapling.

"Oof." Death groaned. His head was throbbing, and he felt as if he would fall down at any moment. Steadying himself, he looked up at Celestia, grinning. "Oi," he said, shaking his head. "Those time travel spells sure take a lot out of you, don't they?"

Celestia didn't respond, but simply stared straight in front of her, standing completely still. At first, Death didn't understand why the Princess was acting like this. Then he saw why.

As he looked around him, he saw that the group was surrounded by glowing, feline eyes, staring at them from the darkness. Then, a figure stepped out into the clearing, revealing a smug, fanged face, on top of which sat tall, strangely shaped ears. The were wings folded against the creature's side, leathery and dark.

"Gee," he said, blinking a few times, "bat ponies."

And so continued Death's horrible, terrible, very bad day.