"Celestia"'s New Year's Resolutions
This Can Only End Badly. . .
Princess Luna yawned as she walked into her bedroom. Tonight had been a long night for her. After standing at the balcony watching the umpteenth round of timberwolf fights, she wished for nothing more than a good long day's rest.
Suddenly, she slipped on something. The princess gave an annoyed grunt as she managed to catch herself in time. Groaning, she looked back, only to find that the object she had slipped on was nothing more than a scroll.
"Must be another one of sister's eating habit charts," she muttered out loud as she took the scroll in her magic and proceeded to put it back where it belonged. However, as the scroll flashed under her nose, something caught her eye. She held it closer to her face and read the words on top.
"Celestia's New Year's Resolutions? Huh, the last time she's made one of these was when we were only ninety-three."
Luna looked around for any sign of her sister. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she found none. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to see what surprises my sister has in mind for the upcoming year," she mused, turning her eyes to the first on the list.
1. Go on a diet.
Luna muffled a chuckle. No surprise there. Celestia had always been a bit of a cakeaholic.
2. Beat Luna in a game of chess.
Luna smirked. "You wish, Tia. You wish."
3. Play a prank on Twilight.
"Okay, at least there's something I can warn Twilight about," Luna reminded herself. Still, she found it a bit strange that Celestia would dare play a prank on her faithful student.
4. Make Rainbow Dash teach me how to do a Sonic Rainboom.
So apparently Celestia also wanted to learn how to do a Sonic Rainboom. Luna wasn't sure who she'd feel more sorry for: Rainbow Dash, or Princess Celestia.
5. Teach Philomena how to sing the national anthem.
Luna raised an eyebrow. She understood that Celestia loved to set free time goals for herself, but this was getting a bit strange.
6. Become one of Rarity's models.
"Oh, Rarity's going to have a hard time," Luna commented with a grimace. Trying to measure somepony twice as tall as you wasn't an easy task.
7. Design new dresses for all the guards.
Luna stifled a snort. Seems like Celestia accidently put "dresses" instead of "armor". Of course, she'll come to realize it later.
8. Think of some manestyles to go with the dresses.
Okay. That was definitely not a mistake. Luna narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she looked to the next one.
9. Beat a cockatrice in a staring contest.
Now that one wasn't quite possible unless you possessed the Stare. Unfortunately, as far Luna knew, Celestia didn't quite possess the Stare.
10. Steal the recipe for cider.
Luna hardened her glare. Celestia wouldn't do such a thing! There was definitely something strange going on here.
11. Eat rocks.
"What?" Luna squinted at the two words to make sure she read them correctly. She then saw something written a little off to the right in smaller letters, which was definitely not there before.
It read "What, Lulu? Pinkie's family does it, so why can't I?"
"GYAH!" Luna flinched and flung the scroll away from her. "It can talk! SOMEPONY GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"
A two pairs of hoofsteps quickly became louder, and a guard rushed around the corner. "Princess! Is something wrong?"
Luna gasped at the sudden appearance and shook her head, switching back to her regal "Canterlot voice". "No, of course not. We are just having a slight mishap as usual. Do carry on with thy duties."
The guard hesitated, then retreated. "Yes, Princess."
But just before he disappeared from sight, Luna called out again. "And if any of thee shall see any suspicious behavior from my sister, thou must report to me, shall thou not end up in a dress!" She was answered by a very hesitant "Y-Yes, P-Princess!".
Once he was gone, Luna let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that was close." She picked up the scroll in her magic and glared at it fiercely. "If thou dare play tricks on us ever again, we will ensure that thou be torn to shreds!"
Taking a deep breath, she picked up where she had left off.
11. Take a vacation to the moon.
"A vacation to the moon!? Well, that is most unorthodox of you, dear sister!" Luna hissed through her teeth. She let out a sigh and relaxed a little. "At least that means I can take over everything while she's gone."
12. Play dress-up with Lulu.
Luna's eye twitched at that one. Now regretting that she had ever picked up the scroll, she scanned through the rest of the list as quickly as possible.
13. Free Tirek from Tartarus and beat him in a hoof-wrestling competition.
14. Invite Sombra over for a slumber party with Lulu.
15. Get Discord to drown the world in cake. (And it needs to be my favorite type of cake.)
16. Celebrate my 1,738th birthday with my best frenemy, Chrysalis
17. Get myself banished to the sun for a thousand years just to see what happens.
Luna dropped the scroll and yelled at the top of her lungs. "OUR SISTER HAS GONE INSANE! WE REPEAT, SHE HAS GONE INSANE! GUARDS, FIND HER AND BRING HER IN TO ME, OR SHE WILL BRING DEATH UPON THEE! EVERYPONY, SPARE THYSELVES A LIFE AND STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!"
And with that, Princess Luna ran in search of a way to prevent her sister from ending the world.
"Celestia"'s New Year's Resolutions
After Luna was out of sight, a pop sounded throughout the room, followed by a round of maniacal laughter as a draconequus materialized out of nowhere.
"AH - HAHAHAHA! Oh, isn't this priceless, Lulu?" the draconequus smirked. "Ponies these days, so gullible, not a single drop of humor in their veins. . . "
He suddenly fell silent as his ears pricked up. The sound of hoofsteps gradually grew louder as they neared him. It didn't take him half a second to know who it was.
"Ohoho! Seems like Celestia's in luck." He rubbed his mismatched hands together and a four leafed clover appeared on his head. "No need to worry, Tia. I have just the perfect surprise for you."
He took the scroll that Luna had left behind and ate it. Then, somehow he coughed up another scroll identical in shape and size. However, the title now read "Luna's New Year's Resolutions", along with an alternate set of goals. He then place the scroll exactly where the previous one had been, ready for the unfortunate victim to come across it.
"Happy New Year's, my friends!" he cried. Then, he disappeared.
"Hopefully I won't have to listen to debates over wheelbarrows and sheep, again," Celestia grumbled as she walked to the throne room. It had been a restless morning, trying to tug the covers over her head as she heard Luna yelling her head off about something to do with guards and dresses. It must have been just another one of her crazy fits.
Then, she noticed a scroll lying on the ground. She picked it up in her magic and sighed. "Luna really needs to stop leaving her gaming charts lying around." She proceeded to put it back where it belonged, when something caught her eye.
"Luna's New Year's Resolutions?" Celestia peered at the title. "Well, it's nice to know that she can at least try to set some goals for herself."
The sun princess glanced around to make sure nopony was around. Then she set her sights back on the scroll and sought out the first on the list.
1. Learn how to bake. . .
Author's Note
Just a little random idea I thought of for New Years. I meant to submit it yesterday, but I couldn't stay up that late. So here it is, I hope you enjoyed it.
Happy New Years, everypony!