Pinkie Pie Goes on a Rollicking Adventure Through Time and Plushies, Almost As If She Was Launched From a Love Trampoline, and Then Doughnuts Happen
Author's Note
Pinkie Pie Goes on a Rollicking Adventure Through Time and Plushies, Almost As If She Was Launched From a Love Trampoline, and Then Doughnuts Happen
"And that's when he said 'Necromancer?! I hardly even know her!'" Pinkie Pie grinned wide.
Overcome with giggles, Twilight Sparkle shook against her window of the northbound train car. "Heeheehee! Ohhhhhhhhh Pinkie Pie..." Her eyes rolled liberally across the rattling interior. "I'm pretty sure that was never a real detail from the Trials of Starswirl the Bearded." She rubbed her eyes dry, smiling. "But—I must say—it's an improvement."
"Yeah! Heehee! I've got a million of 'em!" Pinkie Pie winked. She juggled a saddlebag in her nimble hooves. "Like—'Why did Clover the Clever cross the road?'"
"Ahem... I don't know. Why?"
"Pffffft!" Pinkie reached over and ruffled Twilight's mane. "Silly filly! A paved transit system didn't exist in Equestria until the Modern Era six thousand years later!"
"Heeheehee!" Twilight hugged herself, laughing until her cheeks were red. Wheezing, she briefly broke out of her hysterics in time to wave a hoof at her friend. "C-careful, Pinkie!" She gulped. "You don't want to jostle your party supplies!"
"What? Oh, you mean this?" Pinkie playfully twirled and rolled her saddlebag. "Eh... it's just full of notes and stationary. Nothing fragile. Or glittery."
"Wow..." Twilight blinked at the snowy scenery passing the train window. "Now that's a change if I ever heard one."
"Well, Princess Cadance needs my help in party planning, right?" Pinkie Pie winked. "There's a time and a place to be a Big Adult Pants McSeriousMuzzle. And I'd say putting together a baby shower is just that time and place!"
"I'm just so glad that you agreed to take on the task of planning my sister-in-law's baby shower," Twilight said, sighing happily. "It means so much to me, Pinkie Pie. You've no idea."
"Pffft! Duhhhh! Of course I do!" Pinkie stuck a tongue out. "A happy Cadance means a healthy bouncing baby boy or girl! And a healthy bouncing baby boy or girl means a cheerful fluttering alicorn aunt!" She twirled the bag some more. "Don't you worry one bit, Twilight! I'm gonna help Cadance get so squared away she'll practically become a rectangle!"
"Hehehe..." Twilight rolled her eyes again. "That's not exactly how it works, but I get it." A wink. "I'm just glad that my sister-in-law is getting a chance to hang out with my best... ... ... with one of my best friends!"
"Wow, are there a lot of jerks in this train ride?" Pinkie chirped. "'Cuz your tongue is dangling loose!"
"Eh heh heh..." Twilight sweated momentarily. Just then, the air filled with the squealing sound of brakes. The train lurched as—outside the window—the landscape turned almost magically from frigid snow to warm, verdant grasslands. "Oh hey! We're here already!"
"Wow! How time does fly when you're twisting tongues!"
"Oh Pinkie. Please. We can't get to the Crystal Palace in one piece if you keep trying to put me into stitches!"
"Don't you fret your pretty alicorn head one bit, Sky-Twi!" Pinkie Pie stood up and bowed playfully towards her. "We'll hoof it to your sister-in-law's throne room! Then the Mistress of Party Planning will have a sit with Princess Cadance to discuss invitations and party favors! Meanwhile you'll get to pay a visit to the Imperial Library like you've totally been planning for the entire train ride!"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Twilight unfolded her lavender wings in a meager attempt to mask her blushing features. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm... uhhhh... j-just here for my future niece!" A gulp. "Or nephew..."
Pinkie Pie giggle-snorted. "Hey Twilight. Has anypony told you that your horn grows when you tell a fib?"
"It does n-not!"
At last, the train jolted to a stop. Steam expelled past the windows.
"We're here! We're herrrrre!" Pinkie Pie threw her saddlebag towards the ceiling, dove straight up, and forward-flipped. She landed with the article neatly wrapped around her flanks. "Last one out's a rotten monarch!"
"Pinkie!" Twilight fumbled to slip on her own saddlebag. "Wait for me!"
Humming to herself, Pinkie Pie exited the coach. As soon as she descended onto the train depot's crystalline platform—SCHIIIING!—she found herself staring at a phalanx of heavily armed crystal pony guards. "... ... ...okay, so I was only making a jokey-joke about the 'rotten monarch' thingy."
"Stand down!" shouted a breathy, handsome voice. Shining Armor shuffled up, also wearing a smattering of metal plates across his person. "It's just my sister's friend." He smiled from under his helmet. "That means the Princess of Friendship can't be far behind."
Twilight hopped out of the train behind Pinkie and instantly gasped. "Shining!"
"Twili!"
Twilight galloped forward and allowed herself to be scooped up in his strong embrace. "Heeheehee!"
"It's so good to see you!"
"Yeah! Feels like it's been ages!" Twilight leaned back, squinting at her reflection in his armor. "Uhm... so... what's with the full regalia?"
"Well, Twilight." Shining Armor leaned back, clearing his throat and clenching his jaws. "This is a time of political tension and great adversity. The Crystal Empire hangs on the precipice of a power shift, and as Captain of the Royal Guard I am responsible for defending this kingdom from any and all possible incursion."
"B.B.B.F.F...." Twilight squinted slyly at him. "You're not just beefing up security because your wife is with foal, are you?"
Shining shifted from one side to the other. His thin eyes twitched. "Mmmmm... maybe."
"Heehee..." Twilight leaned in to nuzzle the Captain. "Well, maybe you can learn to relax things a little while I'm here." She winked. "After all... how much safer can a kingdom be when there are two alicorns present?"
"You have a point there, Twili."
"Of course, I'm totally proud of you for wanting to protect Cadance so much. And I'm sure she's tickled pink as well." Twilight arched an eyebrow. "You haven't... uhhh... done anything drastic like enforced a military curfew, I hope."
"Nonsense! This is a society of liberation and freedom!" Shining nevertheless cleared her throat. "Although, I... m-might have performed a royal embargo on ice cream and pickles."
"Hehehe. How's Cadance doing, anyways?"
"Just peachy keen, Twili." Shining's eyes were bright. "Would you like to meet her?"
"Absolutely! And Pinkie Pie here is totally ready to help her plan her Royal Baby Shower!" Twilight looked over. "Isn't that right, Pinkie?"
"OOoooOOooOOoooh!" Pinkie was busy staring dead-on into a crystal pony guard's shiny chest. She looked over, eyes bedazzled. "Y'know... if you look close enough, you can see straight through 'em and tell what they had for breakfast!"
"Unnnngh..." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Pinkie..." She smiled, cheeks rosy. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Hopefully nothing!" Pinkie hopped across the train depot. "Cuz you'll be too busy reading your eyeballs off at the library!"
"Uhhhhhh..." Twilight blushed, sweating under Shining Armor's scrutinous gaze. "Ehehehehehehhhh..."
"Come on, slow pokes!" Pinkie bounced in the general direction of the Crystal Empire's Palace. "The baby ain't gonna shower itself!"
A shiny pair of doors burst wide open.
WHAM! "Whazzzzzzuppp?"
Princess Cadance looked up from a luxurious pile of cushions where the alicorn lay. She levitated a clipboard full of royal decrees back into the grasp of dutiful crystal secretaries before dismissing them. "Twilight! Pinkie Pie!" She grinned, her eyes sparkling. "You're here!"
"Heya, Princess of Lurrrrrve!" Pinkie Pie hopped over, winking. "How's it bakin'?"
"Baking?" Cadance blinked.
"You know!" Pinkie pointed, making a silly face. "The bun in the oven! The pie in the fridge! The dork in the stork—!"
"Pinkie Pie..." Twilight moaned. "Please..."
"Heeheehee... it's okay, Twilight." Cadance bore a weary smile. "You've no idea how delightful it is to have such good friends like you around again."
"Has Shining kept you locked up in the throne room all this time?!" Twilight stammered.
"Hehehe... no." Cadance shifted her weight on the cushions. A pronounced girth swelled from her normally narrow belly. "I insisted that I spend most of my days in here. I may not be up for moving much at this point, but I can still be of some royal use. With the help of Imperial servants, of course."
"Well, you picked the best place!" Pinkie exclaimed, staring out a large, open window. "It's nice and sunny and breezy in here! I bet even a heartless royal assassin wouldn't ever bother firing a poison dart through one of these huge gaping windows—!"
"Yes, Pinkie," Twilight groaned. "Point well made."
"Granted, if Shining had his way, I'd be boarded up inside our royal chambers with a million midwives doting on me every hour of every day," Cadance said, rolling her eyes.
"I know, right?" Twilight giggled. "You know my brother's overprotective only because he loves you." She smiled. "He was the same way when I was a little filly—always wanting to walk me safely to school each morning."
"Awwwwwwww..." Cadance cooed. "So he's told me. Good grief, he's probably going to buy a tank and park it right outside the Palace once the baby drops out."
"That reminds me!" Pinkie Pie slid in. "I'd better buy a trampoline!"
"A trampoline?"
"Make that a super trampoline!" Pinkie Pie winked. "So the bouncing baby boy or girl has something to give it an extra spring once it drops outta ya!"
"Pinkie, it's only an expression—"
"Duaaaaaaaaaah!" Gasping hard, Pinkie dove past Twilight and nuzzled up to Cadance's belly. "And who do we have here?!"
"Careful." Cadance smiled. "It bucks."
"I bet it does!" Pinkie pressed her fuzzy head to Cadance's womb. "Hmmm? Huh? What's that? Gurgle gurgle goo? Well Gurgle gurgle gobbily goo!" She looked up with a wink. "That means 'Good morning' in fetus."
"Heeheehee..." Cadance laughed, wheezed, and coughed. "Please, Pinkie Pie! Your mane! It tickles!"
"Ackies!" Pinkie suddenly toppled backwards. She sat up with a derpitive expression, rubbing her head. "Talk about a buck! K.O.! Finish herrrrr!"
"Okay okay..." Twilight waved a hoof. "Maybe I should let you two wetnurses get started?"
"Hmmmmmmmmm..." Cadance sat up, smiling coyly. "Somepony really wants to go check out the Imperial Library, huh?"
"What?" Twilight shook. "I... that... it... you..." Her cheeks puffed up. "No!"
Pinkie and Cadance laughed.
"It's okay, Twilight." Cadance nodded. "You go on and have your fill. We'll catch up this evening when we have dinner with Shining."
"Yeah!" Pinkie waved. "We'll do lots of catching up! Mustarding, even!"
"The sooner Pinkie Pie and I get the planning done, the more time we'll have to hang out over the next few days."
"Well, that works for me!" Twilight gaily trotted away. "If you need anything, though... anything whatsoever—"
"I'll send a messenger for you, Twilight. Don't worry."
"Well, then! Uhm... have fun you two!" Twilight paused at the doorway, a rosy lavender shape with a waving hoof. "Pinkie Pie... uhhh..." Her wings fluttered. "See ya!"
The throneroom doors closed.
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie spun around. Digging into her saddlebag, she pulled out a miraculously large table and slapped it down on the glossy floor. "Time to get this party planning in motion!" She whipped out multiple notebooks and folders and stationary. "Don't you fret your pretty pink prancing princess head, Your Highness!" A blue-eyed wink. "I'm the best planner there ever was! I once talked a family of zebras into accepting a crocodile as their caterer on Neigh Year's Eve!"
"Hmmmmm..." Cadance, in the meantime, was busy tapping her chin. "Is Twilight feeling okay, Pinkie Pie?"
"Huh?" Pinkie blinked. "Of course, Your Majesty! Heehee! Why wouldn't she be? I mean, besides the kaleidoscope of butterflies in her stomach upon contemplating the inevitable aunthood she's soon to experience at the hooves of a drooling niece or nephew!"
"This is the first time I remember her bringing only one friend during a visit to the Crystal Empire."
"Oh yeah! I guess that is strange. I remember asking Twi why she didn't invite Fluttershy or Dashie to come along, and then she just hummed the Winter-Wrap-Up song and pointed at a bunch of squirrels! They were really cute squirrels! They had tails and everything!" A beat. "Anywhose!" Pinkie dug into her saddlebag again. "About the invitations..."
"Yes." Cadance cleared her throat, shifting her weight towards the edge of the cushions. "By all means. Let's get started."
"Sooooooooooooo..." Pinkie Pie laid on her chest, surrounded by a sea of note cards and yellow post-its. She bit onto a pencil, scribbling several figures across a pad of paper. "Mrmmmffmmfff..." Spitting the pencil out, she scratched her head. "If we send pink bassinet figurines with half of the invites and tiny plastic blue rattles with the other half, then there's a forty-six-point-seven percent chance that all attendees will arrive at the shower with an even ratio of bassinets to rattles. We could then pair them up evenly by number so that they can engage in a fuzzy booty hunt! Granted, that'll depend on the weather. Hmmmm..." She squinted across the throneroom, smiling. "Did you decide on the royal gazebo or the royal rotunda for the location?"
Princess Cadance stifled a yawn. The rosy light of a setting sun coated her pregnant figure with crimson. "Hmmmmm... I th-think that indoors is the best." She blinked. "And safest."
"Rotunda it is, then!" Pinkie Pie chirped, crossing one word out on her notes and putting a check mark alongside another. "It'll be super round! Like you! Heehee... that's a pregnancy joke. Y'know... cuz you're so pregnant n'stuff." She winked, then re-shuffled the cards. "Now... assuming all of the fuzzy booties get found, just what percentage of them should I slip in a free coupon to Foals 'R Us?" She grinned in the Princess' direction. "You see, the "R" is backwards. That's smexy marketing for you."
"Mmmmm... but the guests won't..." Cadance yawned again. "...n-need the coupon. Not like Shining... and me..."
"Hey! You never know!" Pinkie grinned. "Maybe every pony showing up for the Shower will catch the whiff of baby and get inspired!" A wink. "Who knows what magic will unfold when they return home to their significant orifice!"
"Hehehe..." Cadanace managed a few laughs, and then sighed it off with a bleary-eyed expression.
Pinkie's muzzle wriggled. She stood up straight, cocking her head to the side. "Hey Princess, I hate to be a nosy nopony, but did you take up lumberjacking?"
"Hmmmm?"
"'Cuz from the look of things, you really wanna be sawing wood right about now."
"Oh. Heehee..." Cadance waved a dainty hoof. "Oh Pinkie. I'm so sorry." She fought another yawn. "You've been doing a marvelous job. Really, you have. I... I-I just don't know what's come over me." She rubbed her bleary eyes. Her horn flickered brightly a few times, then went dim. "I'm just... f-feeling so exhausted all of the sudden."
"Hey! It's okies!" Pinkie stuck a tongue out. "If you need to take a royal cat nap, then purr away! You deserve it! After all..." A slight giggle. "You're sleeping for two as of late!"
"Mmmmmmm... you make a good point." Cadance blinked heavily. "How far did we get?"
"Pretty far! But don't worry your shiny tiara about that! We'll finish planning another day when you're good and rested, Your Highness!"
"Mmmmm... thank you, Pinkie Pie." Cadance exhaled, deflating into the cushions. "You're so... sweet and helpful... joyous..." Her eyes rolled back, then shut as she drifted away with a delirious smile. "It's no wonder Twilight... thinks that you're... you're the... mmmmmmm..."
"Huh? What was that?" Pinkie asked. The moment she noticed Cadance slumbering away, however, she clenched muzzle shut. Backing away, she smiled and began scooping up all her notes. "Heeee. Princess sleep is the best sleep." She stuffed as many post-its as she could into her saddlebag. "Why... if I grew a horn and wings overnight, I'd find the tallest tower of pillows I could and climb to the very top!"
FLAAASH!
Pinkie Pie blinked.
Everything had turned pitch black.
"Uhm... hello?"
She reached her hooves forward—slapping against dull cardboard. She was boxed in from all sides, cocooned by tissue paper.
"Uhhhhh... Princess Cadance?" Pinkie gulped. "I didn't mean your pillows! I'm sure Rarity has enough cushions back home for me to make a tower out of! I wasn't gonna steal from the Crystal Empire! Honest!"
She heard muffled voices from beyond the airtight sarcophagus imprisoning her.
"Hello?! Anypony?!" Pinkie shook and wobbled from side to side. "Can you help me?! I think I fell into a shoebox dungeon!"
She heard the tearing of paper. Just then, seams of glittery light appeared all around her, forming a thickening rectangle.
She sniffed the air rushing into the tight compartment. "Mmmmmm! Pine!" A dumb grin. "So, did the squirrels ride the train here after all?"
Then—in a bright burst—the lid to the box that Pinkie was in lifted entirely. The big, gawking face of an adorable lavender filly lifted into view, gaping down at her.
"Oh wow!" squeaked a high-pitched unicorn. "Look at you!"
Pinkie blinked. "Look at me!" She bore a dumb grin. "Twilight, look at you!"
"Heeheehee!" The filly reached in, and her hooves were surprisingly large... surprisingly strong. She hoisted Pinkie Pie out of the box and squeezed her tight. "She even knows my naaaaaame!"
"Whoah there! Hehehe!" Pinkie squinted out one eye as her cheek was squished up against Twilight's chin. She nuzzled back as best as she could, her limbs dangling limply. "Well, look who's a touchy-feely little filly!" All around them, colored lights and flickering candles spun. "Yowsers! Why's it chilly all of the sudden?" Her eyes traveled down Twilight's petite little body. "Huh... where're your wings, Twilight?" A blink. "...or your cutie mark, for that matter? That's the most Twilightish part, at least until the third season."
"Wings?" Twilight held Pinkie at a distance, pouting. "Wings only belong on insects, avian creatures, or the scant few mammals who have adapted flying appendages due to convergent evolution."
"Uhhhhhhhh..." Pinkie grinned crookedly. "Stole the words right out of my muzzle!"
"Heeeeeee!" Twilight rolled over, bouncing Pinkie towards the ceiling with her little legs. "I love you!"
"I... love... you... too!" Pinkie yelped, flouncing in mid-air.
"I'm going to call you Smarty Pants!" Twilight cooed.
"Hey! What a coinkydink!" Pinkie chirped. "Didn't you once have little plushie doll named Smarty Pa—"
"Awwwwwwwwwwwww..." a motherly voice cooed. "Look at that, honey. She's already talking to it."
A stallion's voice drifted across the room as well. "Told you it was worth buying at the clearance sale at Barnyard Bargains."
"Sssssssshhhh... darling..."
"Oh. Right. Ahem. Do you like it, Twilight? Commander Hurricane brought it especially for you!"
Twilight sat up, hugging Pinkie from behind. "Oh please, daddy." The unicorn filly stuck her tongue out. "Commander Hurricane perished centuries ago. Besides, it would be completely beneath a pegasus warrior of her stature to climb down chimneys and deliver presents to foals on a yearly basis."
Pinkie blinked.
Sitting across a living room floor littered with shredded wrapping paper and bows was a pair of adults. Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle squatted on a couch with levitating mugs of hot cocoa. The father rolled his eyes in the light coming from a Hearth's Warming tree and sighed.
"Well, so much for that piece of childhood innocence."
"Now now, dear..." Mrs. Sparkle leaned in to nuzzle her husband. "What matters is that our clever little Twilight his happy. So what if she doesn't absorb Hearth's Warming myths like we did at her age?"
"I guess..."
"Besides..." The mother winked. "She seems to take an instant liking to her new special friend." She craned her neck. "'Smarty Pants,' was it?"
"Actually, the name's Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said.
"She says her name is Pinkie Pie!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Does she, now?"
"But I like 'Smarty Pants' better!" Twilight hugged Pinkie tighter from behind. "After all, she isn't pink, is she?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh..." Mrs. Sparkle blinked. Then, with a slight cough, she turned and smiled across the way. "Okay, Shining! How about opening up your next present?"
"Whew! Friggin' finally!" A young colt tore into his present. Pinkie watched as he unwrapped a bright red package, and the youth's eyes lit-up. "Oh my Celestia! A Neightendo Sixty-Four!"
"Happy Hearth's Warming, Shining!"
"Oh wow! Wow wow wow wow!" Shining rushed over to hug the two parents close. "You guys are the absolute best!"
Pinkie couldn't see anymore, because a unicorn filly was turning her around, smiling prim and proper in her face. "Now, Smarty Pants, do you know what every mare needs to survive from day to day?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh..." Pinkie blinked. "...a uterus?"
With remarkably adept magic, the filly levitated a notepad and a pen into Pinkie's felt grasp. "A notebook and quill! So that way you will always be prepared for lesson time!" She grinned from ear to fuzzy ear. "Now! Who's ready to do some homework?"
"Well, I guess I could get an early start on planning even more of Princess Cadance's baby shower." Pinkie Pie looked down at herself. "And... uhm..." She blinked, staring at a pair of gray fetlocks made of soft cloth. "Huh. Since when was I Maud-colored?" She looked down even further, spotting a pair of polka-dotted trunks over her flank and lower legs. "Hey! Where'd my smiling gator jammies go?" She sensed a white flutter in her peripheral vision. Looking to her left, she found herself staring out at the frost-laden rooftops of Canterlot. Gentle snowfall baptized the morning outside in an ivory sheen. "I knew it felt nippy in here." Just then, a reflection came into focus—that of a raggedy-mane'd plushie cradled in a tiny Twilight's hooves. "Wait. I don't remember brushing my mane like that!"
"You want me to brush your mane, Smarty Pants?"
Pinkie spun to face Twilight, beaming. "Do I?!?"
FLAAASH!
In a blink, the living room was gone—including the snow, the wrapping paper, and the Hearth's Warming Tree lights.
"Awwwwwwww..." Pinkie pouted, her ears drooping. "That was a really... really fuzzy Twilight too." She blinked, taking in the sights and sounds of the Crystal Palace's throneroom again. "Oh hey. This place."
Upon hearing a shuddering breath, Pinkie Pie spun around. "... ... ...Princess Cadance?"
The alicorn lay on her bed of cushions. Her muzzle was twisted in what could only be described as an uncomfortable expression. Her horn glowed and pulsed at regular intervals.
"Say... uh... are you okay?" Pinkie Pie shuffled over. "Helllllloooo?" She rapped the end of her hoof against the princess' horn. Thap thap thap! "Princess Cadance? Are you in there? Sorry to bother you and all, but your horn thingy is all glowy and—"
FLAAASH!
A filly's purple bedroom stretched around her.
"Buh?" Pinkie buh'd.
"Look out, Clover!"
Pinkie spun around.
A lavender filly hid behind a stack of books. Twilight wore a starry robe, complete with a pointed cap and a fixed costume beard. "Get back to the fort, my apprentice!" She waved an umbrella for a staff. "The Bookmancer is coming!"
"Huh?" Pinkie blinked. "Bookmancer?"
"Unless..." Twilight's eyes narrowed into chiseled gemstones in the afternoon light. "...you think you're adept enough to take on the evil wizard!"
"Sister..." Pinkie grinned wide. "I was born to take on Bookmancers before breakfast!"
"It's coming straight for us!" Twilight's voice cracked as she pointed with the umbrella. "Protect the fort!"
"Grrrrr!" Pinkie spun. "Where is he?!"
"There!"
Pinkie saw a rocking horse with painted paper fangs dangling from its wooden muzzle.
"I got you, tome scum!" Pinkie Pie jumped high. She clasped the rocking horse's neck with her felt limbs and wrestled the thing sideways until it toppled over. "Raaaaaaugh! Chew on pink justice!" She headbutted the thing constantly. "Today's menu—extra crispy slices of you!" At one point, her head scraped a hoof-handle at an awkward angle. A button flew loose from her head and fell to the carpeted floor. Pinkie Pie clung to the rocking horse for a few silent seconds, then bellowed: "MEDIC!"
"Oh noes!" Twilight gasped, standing up straight. "Smarty Pa—er... I mean Clover!"
"Ohhhhhhhh what a cruel world!" Pinkie Pie sprawled across the floor, writhing playfully. "Book war! Book war never changes! Gaukkkt! Mwaaargh! Bleakkkktt!"
Twilight rushed over, nearly tripping on her pasted-on beard. "Clover! Clover, speak to me!"
"Mwuhhh... iFour scones and seven yeasts ago...'"
"Your rejuvenation spell, Clover!" Twilight yelped. "Cast it on your eye! Quick!"
"It's... no good... Twilight—"
"Psssst... Starswirl!"
"Starswirl!" Pinkie coughed, sputtered. She rolled over, squinting up at her playmate. "This is... super... d-duper important." She gulped. "You must... give me lots and lots of... m-magic hugs."
"But... but that's the forbidden magic!"
"I say thee neigh! It must be done!" She wheezed, curling up. "All of my baby grandclovers depend on it!"
"Don't worry, my faithful apprentice!" Twilight scooped Pinkie up in her lavender limbs, nuzzling her close. "Your master won't fail you!"
"Snkkkt—heeheehee!"
"Is it working, Clover?"
"Your beard, Twilight... I mean Starswirl!" Pinkie stuck a tongue out. "It tickles!"
"Clover! Now's not the time to laugh—" Twilight suddenly gasped. With nimble magic, she floated the button off the floor and slowly reattached it to Pinkie's face. "Oh my stars! Look, Clover! It's working! Your eye is healing!"
"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" Pinkie grinned wide. "Can we fix my itchy knee next? Cuz that's been bothering me super bad ever since middle school!"
"Heeheehee!"
"Starswirlllllll..." Pinkie winked once her eye was reattached. "You're gigglinnnnng! That's unbecoming of a—"
FLAAASH!
"—grand wizard?" Pinkie blinked into the setting sun beyond the Palace windows. She raised a hoof to her head, feeling her soft, fleshy eyelids. "Hmmmmm..." The mare licked her lips. "Should have used a stronger thread."
"Cadance!"
Pinkie spun about.
Shining Armor stood in the doorway, gawking. With a look of shock, he galloped across the room and slid on his knees before the pile of cushions. Tossing his helmet off, the Captain of the Guard grasped the Princess' shoulders, gently shaking her.
"Cadance! Cadance, wake up, my love!"
"Oh... uh... hey Shining!" Pinkie gulped, rubbing the back of her neck with a nervous smile. "So... uhmmm... what's your favorite Neightendo game? Mine is Marejora's Mask!"
"Pinkie Pie!" Shining spun towards her, muzzle agape. "What happened?!"
"Well... uh..." Pinkie fidgeted. "They only had one year to work on it after the first one, and I suppose only four dungeons is a bit of a stretch, come to think of it."
"Cadance is... under some spell!" Shining stood up, shivering. "Tell me. Just how long has she been unconscious with her horn glowing like this?"
Pinkie shrugged. "I'unno."
"You don't know?!"
"I was too busy being zapped away to filly Twilight at Hearth's Warming."
"Huh?"
"Well, the first time it was Hearth's Warming Morning. Then the next time it was in her bedroom. Coulda been any time of the year, actually."
"Pinkie..." Shining's brow furrowed. "Just what are you talking about?"
"It's hard to explain, really." Pinkie looked at Cadance's figure as she gestured. "One moment, I was packing things up from a long afternoon of baby shower planning with Cadance. The next thing I know—"
FLAAASH!
Pinkie blinked. "... ... ...yeah, pretty much that, Shining." She blinked. "Shining?" BONK! A bar of soap ricocheted off her felt skull. "Owie!"
"Smarty Pants! You gotta duck!" Twilight squeaked. She sat on the far end of a warm bathtub, splashing bubbles and water. "You know how expert those goblins are at catapulting soap!"
"Pffft..." Pinkie sat back against the neck of a rubber duckie. "Now that's just racist." She rolled her eyes. BONK! "Owie!" She rubbed her head, grinning devilishly. "Okay! Where are those stinkin' goblins?! Let me at 'em!"
"Over there!" Twilight gathered a pile of bubbles and cowered behind it. "Don't stare directly at them! They'll turn you to stone!"
"Not if I get soap in their eyes first!" Pinkie paddled the rubber duckie across the bathtub, approaching a smooth counter where a bunch of green plastic action figures were precariously perched. "Alright, ya big bullies! Who wants to get dunked first?!"
"Get the tall one! The tall one!" Twilight pointed with a soaking wet hoof. "He's the one who soiled our magic stamp collection in the Great Book Raid!"
"Duaaaaaaaaaah!" Pinkie gasped wide. "That fiend!" She brought the rubber duckie broadside and flung her felt hooves out. "C'mere, you!" Grabbing one action figure, she shoved its head repeatedly into the bubbly waters of the tub. "Take that! And that! And that!"
"Heehee! Let 'em have it, Smarty Pants!" Twilight cheered.
"Where's your lunch money, dweebanoid?!" Pinkie growled. "Huh?! Not so tough now with your goblin ears full of suds!"
Across the bathroom, a hoof pounded against the doorframe as someone tried turning the locked doorknob from outside. "Twilight?! Open this door!" Shining Armor's voice cracked. "You'd better not be soaking my action figures again! Those things are in mint condition!"
Twilight stuck her tongue out from where she waded. "That's what you get for sneaking into my bedroom without asking!"
"Yeah!" Pinkie hollered. "Goblin King!"
FLAAASH!
"Go stick your head in a pile of pigeon poop!" Pinkie made a face. "Nyeaaaah!"
The Captain of the Guard blinked from across the throne room. "I beg your pardon?"
"Erm..." Pinkie instantly shrank away, smiling nervously. "Cover yourself in pigeon poopie. Y'know." She gulped. "For being the Goblin King and ruining Twi's stamp collection?"
"... ... ..." Shining Armor turned to look at his slumbering wife's horn. After staring at the glowing object, he pivoted to squint at Pinkie Pie again. "Pinkie..." His eyes narrowed. "Have you been... going somewhere all of the sudden?"
"Not at all!" Pinkie shook her head. A beat. "Well..." She smiled sheepishly. "Unless you count these random moments from Twilight's childhood when she's been playing with Smarty Pants."
Shining paled at that. "Twilight's childhood... as in the past?"
"Well, I seriously doubt she'll become a foal again tomorrow," Pinkie said, tapping her chin in thought. "Unless—of course—that's some sort of rite of passage to a new alicornhood or something." Pinkie gasped wide. "Ooooh! Shining! What if Twilight becomes a double princess?!"
"Pinkie. Listen very carefully." Shining trotted forward, placing her hooves on the mare's shoulders. "This is important."
"I know! What could be more important than Double Princess? Except, of course, maybe Triple Princess." Her muzzle twisted. "... Quadruple Duchess?"
"Are you yourself when you teleport away to Twilight's fillyhood?" Shining gulped. "Or are you someone else? Or something else? Like an object?"
"Well... uh... you remember me mentioning Smarty Pants?"
"You mean Twilight's old doll?"
"Yeah. Only, the doll's not so old. Cuz I'm not so old." Pinkie gulped, then smiled crookedly. "Cuz I think we're both one and the same. In the past." Her eyes went in opposite directions. "Oh gosh. Brain needs food badly."
"Blessed Celestia..." Shining stumbled back, trembling.
"I know, right?" Pinkie ran a hoof through her mane. "Who wants a raggedy mane like that?"
"It's..." Shining turned to gape at Cadance's glowing horn. "It's happening again..."
"Huh?" Pinkie Pie blinked. "What's happening again?"
FLAAASH!
"Oh!" Pinkie grinned maniacally at a verdant green park stretching around her. "This is happening again! Cool!"
"Aaaackies!" Twilight galloped across a playground, scooping Pinkie Pie up from behind. "Run, Smarty Pants! Run! It's the book ghosts!"
"Oh jeebus!" Pinkie clung tightly to Twilight's fuzzy little figure. "Those are the worst kind of ghosts!"
"Eeeeek!" Twilight tried shrieking, but she inevitably broke into a series of giggles. She and Pinkie climbed to the top of a metal jungle gym.
Meanwhile, a few spaces away, Pinkie saw Twilight's mother seated on a bench with another mare.
"Wow, I've never seen your daughter so... active, before." The other mare sipped a cup of fresh morning coffee. "It's positively healthy. I like it."
"I know." Twilight's mother sighed happily into the crisp mountain air of Canterlot. "Ever since Hearth's Warming, she's been a little bundle of joy and energy. It's quite refreshing."
"I see she's taken quite a liking to that little doll of hers."
"Oh! You've no idea!" The mother laughed, rolling her eyes. "Best gift her father's gotten her yet. And it's done wonders to her imagination."
"Hey!" Pinkie smiled across the way, draped over Twilight's shoulder. "It's done wonders to mine too!"
The two adults ignored her. "I'm a little worried with how much she likes talking to it, though. It's a poor substitute for filly friends her age."
"Well, consider it a first step in the right direction. Besides, with all the books your daughter reads, it's about time that genius mind of hers got tickled by something more than words!"
"Well, that's a nice way of putting it."
"Ya hear that, Twilight?" Pinkie Pie patted Twilight's shoulder as they both reached the top of the jungle gym. "You're gonna be a smart princess of friendship, someday!"
"Hey Smarty Pants! Do you think Starswirl's flight spell has worn off yet?"
"Whoah there, silly filly!" Pinkie Pie giggled. "One thing at a time! I'd wait for your wings first!"
"Wings?"
"That's right."
"Yaaaaaay!" Twilight shouted from the top of the bars. "I'm gonna be a princess!"
"Oh dear..." Her mother face-hoofed with an exasperated smile. "That had better not become a phase. I swear to Celestia."
"Don't worry." The other mare rested a hoof on her shoulder. "Princesses are going out of popularity lately."
Pinkie winked. "I wouldn't bet on it."
FLAAASH!
Pinkie turned to grin across the throneroom. "Hey Shining! Guess what! Twilight's a good climber!"
"Pinkie!" Shining finished sending a pair of anxious messengers away. He galloped over to the mare standing at Cadance's slumbering side. "You're back!"
"I know." Pinkie Pie nodded. "Sometimes I'm even forward." She pouted. "That's when Mrs. Cake makes me sit in the corner."
"What do you remember last?"
"Uhm..." Pinkie Pie squinted. "A playground. Twilight's mom and another mare. Grilled Cheese sandwiches."
"Grilled cheese?"
"Okay. So I made up that last part. Heehee." Pinkie rubbed her growling tummy. "I'm hungry. When's eats?"
"Pinkie Pie, this is serious!"
"I know!" Pinkie nodded. "Better get some baby carrots on the side!"
"I think I know what's happening to you." Shining leaned back with a shudder. "Because... it's h-happened to me too."
"Wait..." Pinkie squinted. "You mean to tell me that you've been repeatedly zapped away to the past so that you can scamper around and play foal games with an adorafilly Twilight?"
"No, it's... not quite like that." Shining cleared his throat. Nervously, he paced over to Cadance's side and brushed at her soft pastel tresses. "Ever since Cadance and I moved in together, I've... experienced things."
"Hubba hubba hubbbbba..." Pinkie waggled her eyebrows.
Shining turned to frown at her. "I'm talking about strange magical spells from out of nowhere." He cleared his throat. "Being the partner to an alicorn... has its curious side effects."
"Oh yeah?" Pinkie tilted her head aside. "Like what?"
"Well, you know that Cadance is the Royal Princess of Love, right?"
"Heehee! Her cutie mark's not an hourglass, y'know!"
"Well, her alicorn abilities are very... very intricately connected to the power of love." Shining gulped. "And sometimes her magic... fires off uncontrollably. And since I'm so close to her, I... uhh... have accidentally become the target of such random spells."
"Just how 'random' are we talking about?" Pinkie grinned. "I'm told that I'm quite an expert at it."
"Well, I'm a soldier, Pinkie."
"Pfft. I'd hope so."
"I'm no magical expert like my sister Twilight. But I know how leylines work. Do you?"
"Totally!" Pinkie nodded. A few blinks later, she blushed. "Er... wait... eheheh... I mean 'no.' I totally don't."
"Leylines are the invisible strings that connect the essences of material and immaterial things on this plane," Shining Armor explained. "Performing magic spells is simply the means by which we manipulate the tension of these strings and affect the world around us remotely."
"Kewl beans."
"Well... theoretically speaking—where alicorn magic is concerned—there's a second and more complicated fashion of invisible strings."
"Slinkies?"
"'Lovelines.'"
Pinkie waved a hoof. "I knew that."
"Cadance, being the Princess of Love, is a great deal more sensitive to 'Lovelines' than the average magic-user." Shining took a deep breath. "After all, she first earned her wings when she discovered that there was an incorporeal connection between all living things, regardless of time or space."
"Yes, but what does this have to do with me becoming past Twilight's best friend in plushie felt form?"
"Pinkie Pie, my wife is pregnant with foal," Shining said, gently stroking Cadance's slumbering form. "Her mental and spiritual essence is just now bonding with the new life forming inside her." He bit his lip. "I... I think that the closer she's getting to foaling, the more susceptible she is to reaching randomly across these invisible Lovelines and affecting others."
"And she's reached out to me and Twilight?"
"Well... she knows you as a friend, for sure." Shining nodded. "But Twilight? They've had a deep bond for a very long time. Cadance used to babysit for her, after all. They were like sisters once. Heck... in a way, they were like mother and daughter!" Shining blinked. "I think that's what triggered it!"
"You're telling me that Cadance's motherly magic powers are zapping me back into the past to be with the fuzzy little filly that she fuzzle-nuzzled?" Pinkie Pie grinned stupidly from cheek to cheek. "I only say this when I mean it, but... D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
"It wouldn't be the first time something like this happened." Shining cleared his throat. "Shortly after our honeymoon, she... uhm... fell unconscious like this. And... I... I-I traveled back in time to become her teddy bear."
"Snkkkt—heeheehee!"
"It wasn't funny!" Shining Armor frowned. "Time Travel is no joke! Besides..." He fidgeted slightly. "She was a teenager at the time... having her first crush on me. Do you have any idea how close I came to almost accidentally messing up the time line?"
"But neither of Twi's parents seem to hear me when I talk to her!"
"It's only happened a few times," Shining said. "Too seldom for me to get a read on how it all works. All I know is that it takes a terrible toll on my wife." He turned to gaze worriedly at Cadance. "And with her this far into pregnancy, I shudder to think what a magically-induced coma could do to Cadance and our baby!"
"Well, that's a real downer," Pinkie said, pouting. "How'd she come out of it before?"
"I can't say. She just... woke up eventually, and I'd stop traveling back in time." He looked up. "And she'd have this bright pink pulse to her eyes."
"A pink pulse?"
"Yeah. Like... her eyes would flash bright pink." Shining gestured. "Cadance explained that it's a sign of adoration and love between two souls caught up in the Lovelines."
"So... uhm..." Pinkie Pie shrugged. "How do we sever the Lovelines so you get your spouse backsies and all safesies?"
"I don't know. And I'm not going to risk anything by trying." Shining took a deep breath. "That's why I've sent for Twilight just now. She's the Princess of Friendship and Magic. If anypony can bring my Cadance back to the waking world, it's my Twili!"
"Cool! Did you send for her just now?" Pinkie grinned. "Neato! I can't wait to tell her all about the adventures we've been having in the soft felt yesterday—"
"No, Pinkie Pie!"
"Awwwwww..."
"I mean..." Shining Armor shuddered. "You must play it cool."
"But I have been playing it cool! I've been playing it cool with little Twilight!"
"No, you don't understand!" Shining Armor stamped a hoof down. "The risks of time travel are astronomical! Twilight Sparkle has saved Equestria countless times! Any little thing you might do in the past—even when in possession of her doll—could snowball into terrible ramifications that would alter the state of the world today!"
"But... but..." Pinkie sniffled, her eyes large and glossy. "We were having so much fun together."
"I know that, Pinkie. You're a good friend." Shining Armor stared down at her. "And as a good friend, you should know when it's a good time to rein in the hijinks and protect Twilight's best intere—"
FLAAASH!
"Pilot to navigator!" Twilight droned, strapping on a pair of goggles.
"Huh?" Pinkie looked around. She and the unicorn filly sat in a plastic bucket at the very top of a set of apartment stairs. "Shining?"
"Shining couldn't fly today!" Twilight turned to glare at Pinkie. A frying pan "helmet" swiveled atop her tiny head. "Smarty Pants, it's up to us to finish the mission!"
"Uhmmm..." Pinkie stared down the treacherously steep steps. "Does the mission involve a dangerous, life-and-limb threatening slide down a three-story staircase?"
"And right into enemy territory!" Twilight tightened her goggles and leaned forward. "Just in time to save the Book Prince from the Dragon Brood!"
"Hmmmmm..." Pinkie rubbed her felt chin. "Sounds super foolish and dangerous." She blinked, smiling wide. "Let's do it!"
"Yaaaaaay!"
Pinkie got out and pushed the bucket. "On your mark, ace!"
"Three... two... one..."
"Contact!"
The bucket tipped over the edge of the topmost step.
"Get in, Smarty Pants!"
"Raaawwr!" Pinkie hollered as Twilight yanked her inside. "We bring death and polkadots from above!"
"Whoaaa—aaa—aaa—aaah!" Twilight's cheering voice reverberated.
"Weeeeeeee!"
The bucket rocketed down the stairs, bumping into walls, banisters, and careening earthward at a suicidal speed. At last, the filly and her stuffed friend reached the very bottom. The bucket tipped over and the two went toppling across the carpet, plowing through a stack of books.
"Ooomf!"
"Woohoo!" Pinkie Pie cheered.
Twilight stood up. She sniffled... sniffled again... then dabbed her nose. "My nose is bleeding."
"Wow! It is!"
Twilight grinned. "Cool!"
"Awesome!"
"Heehee! Take that, dragon brood!"
"Yeah!" Pinkie raspberried into the air. "Just what have you stinkin' winged suitcases bled this morning?!"
"Quick! We gotta find the Book Prince before they smell the hemaglobin in the air!"
"Better outrun them!" Pinkie gasped. "Hey! I know!"
"What is it, Smart Cookie?"
"What do you think of time travel?"
"Good idea! You plug my ears while I conjure a spell to get us out of here—"
FLAAASH!
Pinkie's mane settled as she stood in the throneroom once again. "Hey!" She smirked. "That was easy!" She looked over at lavender shape. "Way to go, Twilight!"
"Pinkie Pie!" Gasping, Twilight galloped over from where she and Shining Armor were kneeling beside Cadance. "Omigosh omigosh!" She hugged Pinkie close, then leaned back with a nervous expression. "Are you okay?!"
"You know, I take it all back." Pinkie winked. "You're just as fuzzy now as you were then! Heehee!"
"Pinkie..." Twilight gnashed her teeth. "This is no time to joke around!"
"But this material is absolutely golden! Golden, Twilight!"
"How many times have you gone into the past, Pinkie? Try and think!"
"Let's see. How many times..." Pinkie's eyes scraped the royal rafters as she licked her lips. "Hmmmm... well, lemme put it this way. If my fetlock had digits, I'd have counted them all by now!"
"Oh dear..." Twilight leaned back, ears folded. "This is worse than I thought."
"What's the matter, Twili?" Shining asked, hugging Cadance close.
"Well, Shining, you said that the last occasion you time traveled because of Cadance's powers, it was a maximum amount of three times in a row?"
"Yes. I do believe that's right." Shining shuddered. "I didn't enjoy being a teddy bear either. Too fluffy."
"Well..." Twilight paced about, thinking aloud. "It would seem as if the spell wore off on its own. But that's probably because you're Cadance's mate. Her attraction to you brought you back to the present to stay."
"Are... you suggesting that some sort of connection between you and Smarty Pants is keeping Pinkie Pie anchored to the past?"
"Cool!" Pinkie grinned. "It's like sailing the ocean in a ship full of giggles and joy!"
"No, Pinkie." Twilight frowned. "Not cool."
"Awwww..."
"The more you're forced to go back into the past, the harder it is for your essence to return to your body here in the present!"
"And that means..."
"I don't know." Twilight bit her lip. "But it could mean that I... that we'd lose you forever." She gulped hard. "And that's not a good thing."
"And neither is my Cadance being stuck in a coma." Shining sniffed. "Please, Twili. You've got to do something!"
"I-I'm not sure that I can!" Twilight squirmed. "Cadance is the one who unwittingly bound Pinkie Pie and my past self together with the Lovelines! And she's not awake now to undo the spell!"
"So..." Shining gaped. "It's up to Pinkie Pie?"
"Me?" Pinkie squeaked.
"You're the only one with agency here, Pinkie," Twilight said. "Every time you go back into the past, you're forming a stronger and stronger bond with the filly me." She bit her lip. "And... and that bond has gotta be severed for you to return and stay here, where you belong."
"But what do I have to do?" Pinkie grinned. "Don't you remember? I mean, you were there!" A giggle-snort. "The silly little adorable you!"
"I... I don't remember, Pinkie."
"You don't?"
"I was j-just a filly!" Twilight cackled. "It was far too long ago! You understand, don't you?"
"You mean to tell me that you don't remember all of the fun things we did together? The battles with bookmancers, goblins, and dragons?"
"I..." Twilight shuddered. "I just remember feeling very warm and comforted, Pinkie Pie." A brief smile formed, but then swiftly died. "But that all went away with foalhood."
"How come?"
"That's life, Pinkie. And now... I-I need you to do what you can to separate yourself from Smarty Pants on your next trip."
"But... doesn't that mean separating myself from filly Twi?"
"I'm afraid so." Twilight nodded. "Yes."
"But... but that's so sad." Pinkie's eyes turned glossy. "Didn't you say that everything felt warm and comfy?"
"Yes—"
"So how could I have done something so cold? So mean?"
"I... I don't know, Pinkie Pie." Twilight stepped closer. "But you'll have figured something out. I know it. For Cadance's sake. For my sake."
"But... b-but..."
"Please, Pinkie Pie," Twilight said in a breathy tone. From afar, Cadance's horn began pulsing again. The Princess of Friendship gnashed her teeth. "There's no time! You must figure something out!"
"Twilight—!"
"I... I d-don't want to imagine living in a world without my sister-in-law... or... or my best fr—"
FLAAASH!
"And that's when Daring Do pulled out her trusty lasso, looped it around the gargoyle, and pulled herself safely out of the firepit before her wings could get singed by the deathly diabolical trap!" Twilight whispered, pointing a flashlight at the big printed words of her book.
"... ... ..." Pinkie Pie blinked, snuggled up next to her beneath the duvet of Twilight's bed. She heard crickets in the distance, along with the hushed murmur of night. "Wowie zowie. Gargoyles... uhm..." She bit her lip. "Cool..."
"Pssst..." Twilight shook her flashlight, pointing at the next paragraph. "It's your turn to read, Smarty Pants."
"Yeah, uhm..." Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. "Say, Twilight!" She turned over. "We're... we're best friends, aren't we?"
Twilight blinked back at her. "Of course, Smarty Pants! Now quick! Continue reading!" The filly squirmed beneath the sheets. "I wanna find out what happens to Daring next!"
"She inspires an awesome pegasus with a broken wing to break into a hospital and wake up half the town."
"... ... ...Huh?"
"Twilight..." Pinkie pivoted around until she was facing the unicorn squarely across the book. Their tiny little heads formed a dual tent beneath the bed's comforter. "We've done a lot of snazzy things together. And it's all been very, very fun. And... heehee... you know how much I love fun."
Twilight's bright eyes twitched. "About as much as you love taking notes and doing homework."
"Er... right." Pinkie coughed. "Uhm... I know it might make me sound like a mean meanie-head, but... I think..." She squirmed. "That is, I feel that... mmmm..." She squirmed some more, on the verge of tears. "...where's a bullet when you need to bite down on it?"
"Smarty Pants, are you feeling alright?"
"Oh, totally, Twilight! In fact, I'm the fuzziest I've felt in ages!" She reached forward and booped Twilight on the nose with a felt fetlock. "You're the fuzziest you've been in ages."
"Heeheehee..."
"But... I think it would be best if..." Pinkie sighed, hanging her head. "...if I went away for a while."
The flashlight slipped from Twilight's grasp. Pinkie could no longer see her face—only make out a pair of glossy eyes, turning moist. "What... wh-what do you mean... go away, Smarty Pants?"
It's not that I want to, Twi. But... uhm... there are some super important things I gotta do elsewhere. Important... uhm... doll plushie business. You'll understand when you're older."
"But... I-I don't want to get older!" Twilight sniffled. "I want you to stay here with me!"
"Awwwwww don't say that! It won't be that bad, really—" All of a sudden, Pinkie brightened. "In facccccct..." She grinned wildly. "It'll almost be like I never left at all!"
"Mrfff..." Twilight rubbed her eyes. "It will?"
"Yeah!" Pinkie held the filly's hooves. "I'll still be around! It's just that... you'll have to work extra hard to welcome me back!" Pinkie winked. "The next time you want me to hang out with you, just use your imagination. It may not look and sound like I'm playing games with you, but—trust me—I will be! I'll just be spending a lot of time in your big, squishy, brilliant head!"
"But... but why?"
"Because... uhm..." Pinkie Pie fidgeted for a few seconds. At last, with a soft smile, she said, "Because you're as smart as they come, Twi. And it just... wouldn't be awesome if you didn't use that snazzy brain of yours to come up with the coolest ideas possible. In fact... I'm willing to bet that you'll imagine up things even awesomer than your felt friend with button eyes!"
Twilight pouted. "There's nothing awesomer than you."
"Pffft." Pinkie waved a forelimb. "Don't let it get around, sister! I have a reputation to protect!"
"Heeheehee!"
"Hehehehehe!" Pinkie Pie hugged herself. At last, with a soft sigh, she gazed adoringly at Twilight. "You're gonna go to really cool places, girlfriennnnnd." A wink. "Don't let anypony tell you any different."
"When I imagine you back," Twilight murmured. "Will you still sing the same?"
"Pffft! Totally! Just... uh... don't try dancing."
"Why not?"
"Trust me. You'll know why someday." Pinkie shrugged. "And... at some point, when you're smart enough and old enough... I just know that you and I will get to hang out again. But for realsies this time." She grinned. "And it'll be as bouncy as ever. Even bouncier!"
"You... you promise?"
Pinkie swung her arms around. "Cross my heart. Hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my... er... b-button!"
"Heeheehee..." Sniffling the barest hint of tears away, Twilight reached across the blanket and drew Pinkie into a tight... tight snuggly hug. "Ohhhhhhh Smarty Pants." She murmured into the doll's felt neck. "I love you."
Pinkie blinked into the penumbra of the warm flashlight between them. "You know..." She gulped, patting Twilight's soft bangs. "...I kinda sorta believe you, Twi..."
And just like that—
FLAAASH!
Pinkie stood in the crystal throneroom, blinking. It was nighttime outside the royal palace's windows. And...
"Cadance!" Shining Armor gasped.
"Huh?" Pinkie looked over.
"Nnnngh... guh..." Cadance stirred atop her cushions. Her horn had stopped glowing, and she lifted her head to gaze thinly at her husband. "Shining? Is that you?"
The stallion crouched low, scooping his wife up in a strong pair of forelimbs. "Oh, Cadance! I'm so glad you're back!"
"Mmmfff..." Cadance rubbed her tired eyes. "I'm... glad too, I guess..." She pouted. "But did you have to wake me from my nap? I'm getting shuteye for two, y'know."
"Heheheheh..." Sniffling, Shining held her closer, kissing her face and neck repeatedly.
"Hmmmmm..." Pinkie sighed softly. "Now that is something worth a Polaroid." She smiled. "...if I knew what a Polaroid even was."
"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight Sparkle galloped up. "Cadance is back! You did it!"
"Whoah!" Pinkie wheezed, scooped up in a lavender hug. "Heheh! I guess I did!"
"I'm sorry I ever doubted you!" Twilight nuzzled her close, exhaling through a wide grin. "I was so worried!"
"What? You, Twilight? Worried?" Pinkie raspberried. "Next thing I know, you're going to tell me that Gummy is green!"
"Heeheehee..." Twilight Sparkle leaned back. "Just how did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Get the past me to stop being so attached to you?"
Pinkie shrugged. "Well, I didn't really. I just told... her..." Pinkie's words trailed off as her lips pursed. She gawked at Twilight.
"What?" Twilight stared back. Her eyes flashed pink, outlining the reflection of Pinkie in her pupils. "What's the matter, Pinkie?" Again, that flash of pink. "What did you tell me?"
"I... I-I..." Pinkie looked across the throneroom.
Cadance looked over from where Shining was cuddling her. She met Pinkie's gaze... and smiled slyly.
"... ... ..." Pinkie exhaled. "...I told her that I'd always be with her."
"Huh?" Twilight's muzzle twisted, as did her voice—taking on an adorkable octave. "Well that doesn't make much sense to me."
"Heeheehee..." Pinkie doubled over with giggles. "Well of course, silly filly."
"Huh?"
"Say... uhhh... I know it might seem like the most awkward timing in the whole wide world of everything... buttttttttt..." Pinkie Pie waggled her eyebrows. "Is there a doughnut shop around here? How about you and I grab a scrumptious bite to eat?"
"You... you mean just you and I?" Twilight twitched. "By ourselves? Right now?"
"Sure thing!"
Yet again, there was that pink pulse. Twilight's cheeks turned rosy. "Okay... I... I think I would like that, Pinkie."
"Hmmm..." Pinkie patted Twilight's shoulder as she led the two of them out the throne room. "Fancy that."
"Mmmmm!" Twilight quickly swallowed a crispy morsel of glazed dessert before downing it with a sip of hot cocoa. She slapped her hoof across the diner's tabletop. "And then there was that one time that I rode down the stairs in a bucket!"
"Oh realllllly?" Pinkie Pie leaned forward from where she sat across from her in the crystalline bakery. "You remember that, huh?"
"Yeah! My nose bled all afternoon! It scared the horseshoes off of Mom!"
"Heehee! I'd pay to see that!" Pinkie arched an eyebrow. "Did ya have Smarty Pants with you at the time?"
"I... think?" Twilight's lavender nose scrunched. "Maybe? My foalhood's all a big crazy blur."
"Heh..." Pinkie bit into a doughnut. "Mrmmfff... tell me about it."
"I just... can't remember where I would have gotten the nerve to had done all of those silly, crazy things on my own." Twilight shuddered, gazing out the starlit window beside them. "Like stealing Shining's action figures... or all those nights I stayed up late reading Daring Do books when I should have gone to bed."
"Seems like you were a real prankster in the making."
"Orrrr..." Twilight smirked coyly at her. "...maybe I had a little trouble-maker sitting on my shoulder."
"Well, look at how you turned out!" Pinkie Pie waved a hoof. "Is it such a bad thing?"
Twilight stared at her. Her eyes pulsed pink once more. "No. I... I guess it's not, is it?"
"Hmmmmmmmm..." Pinkie stared at her.
Silence.
"Uhm... eheh..." Twilight brushed one of her bangs back, blushing slightly. "So... crazy stuff, huh?" She cleared her throat. "Cadance almost falling into a coma and all? Whew!"
"You know what I think breaks the ice in situations like this?"
"What?"
"Stupid silly Starswirl jokes! Heehee!"
"Oh jeez..." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Do you ever run out of telling them?"
"Wellllll?" Pinkie leaned forward. "Do you ever run out of listening to them?"
Another pink pulse. "Heheheh... fire away, Pinkie."
"Hmmmm..." Pinkie leaned back, mane flouncing. "Thought you'd never ask. Ready?"
Twilight leaned forward, propping her smiling chin atop a pair of forelimbs.
"Okay..." Pinkie winked. "So... like... Starswirl, Clover the Clever, and the Goblin King walk into the bar."
"Aaaaaaaand?" Twilight sing-songed. "What does the bartender saaaaaay?"
"'Hey! The library's across the street, ya nerds!'"
And Twilight laughed.
Again.
