Well. Shit.

Anon landed Fuck-Knows-Where, and did abso-fucking-lutely nothing. You happy now? You done with this bullshit adventure in this shitty story? Your only like, six hundred words in, and that's impressive. Most people would leave after seeing the bloody title screen. Lets see how long you can last after the criticism starts to hit.

Anon did his usual morning routine.  He woke up, kicked off his covers, picked up his glasses on the stand beside him, and walked over to his computer.

Except for this time, he fell down some fucking stairs. In his morning stupor, he didn't realize a goddamn thing until he hit the bottom step face first. Shouting every harsh word that came to mind, he gasped as blood trickled out of his nose. He hadn't been hurt in years, and other than jump scares on the internet, hadn't seen any real blood in a while. In his astonishment, he didn't realize that something was poking him. After a few seconds of increasing intensity, he kicked out and hit whatever bastard dared poke HIM with a stick, he was the ruler of the internet, goddamnit. He turned over and stared down a small purple-green....thing, and screamed at the top of his lungs. He heard another scream behind him, and turned again to see a fucking horse. And not just a normal horse, a purple horse, with a horn. After around three seconds of matched screaming, the horse SAID something. The goddamn HORSE said something. Something like, 'calm the hell down'. He immediately came up with a name for it. Hypocritical purple horse. Then it tripped over itself, and fell face-first into the ground. He added onto his new pals name. 'Hypocritical Retarded purple horse'