Planet Equestria

by Mr-Astounding

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Adventure, Science Fiction, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 2587

After being banished from Earth, the Hulk somehow finds himself in Equestria: this can only end so well...

The Green Goliath has, against all odds, found his way to a strange land of ponies: will he become their best friend, or their greatest enemy?

Published 2016-03-10 05:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-10 05:40:01 UTC

Prologue

Somewhere out in space...

As he opened his eyes, the first thing he realized was that he was having trouble moving. The second: he was in some sort of space craft. A thousand questions ran through the creature's mind, but they all came to a screeching halt when a projection screen came up. "I am truly sorry for what we've done, but we had no choose," a figure in red armor declared, the images of various others adorned behind him. Rage boiled up in him as the figure continued with, "When you get angry, Bruce, when you lose yourself to rage, you become a force of pure chaos." Not wanting to hear anymore, he started to thrash about: no one contains the Hulk, NO ONE!

Meanwhile, on the surface of a strange planet...

An equine figure adorned in tattered robes looked upon the remains of a castle destroyed long ago, and started to do what it had been doing for so long, he'd lost track of the days: pray. "Oh, great and wonderful creator, I seek your guidance," he began, taking out a bag of ceremonial ashes, "and ask to heal the land of Equestria, for we are a divided, and dying world." Taking a breath, and starting to spread the ashes over the image of the fabled Elements of Harmony, he stated, "Through the ancient scrolls, you have long foretold the coming of a warrior savior."

Line break...

"You fear nothing, and even the mightiest of Earth's defenders cannot make you yield." The Hulk did not even register this as he began to destroy his restraints.

Line break...

"A warrior who would look into the eyes of death and stand his ground."

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"The madder you get, the stronger you get, and there is no limit to your rage." Hulk wasn't even paying attention anymore at this point, beginning to destroy everything he could touch.

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"A warrior with boundless strength, who knows no limit to his power," the figure regaled as he continued to drew a symbol resembling a planet with various moons traveling around it.

Line break...

"Despite all this, we picked your destination with careful consideration," the armored man revealed, as if not considering the reaction to the former Gamma Doctor's reaction. Even if he had, he'd probably be shocked at the sheer outrage at his current situation, even as he said, "It is a planet full of vegetation and game, but no intelligent life forms: a place with no one there to hurt you, but no one you can hurt." The man might have even panicked when the on-board computer declared, "Warning: structural integrity compromised; warning: guidance system off-line; destination: altered." As the message was prerecorded, however, the man showed no sympathy as he stated, "I know you must hate us for this, Bruce, but you DID always say that you wanted to be alone: allow us to try and grant your wish." If Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk, had a reply to this, it never came, for the moment the vessel entered a wormhole, the ship began to be torn apart. Before he would be able to comprehend this, however, he was bombarded with a strange energy, knocking him into unconsciousness.

Line break...

"This warrior will strike down evil, unite all kingdoms, and through his blood, shall restore life to all of the land," the figure recited. Pulling down his hood to reveal a blue mane and yellow/orange-tinted skin, he concluded, "Oh, great and wonderful creator, deliver to us this day the Equestrison." Right as he said this, a hole seemed to be torn in the fabric of space and time, revealing what looked to be a meteor. The robed pony could only gasp as the mysterious object landed with a massive explosion on the other side of the forest.

Chapter 1

The creature known as Bruce Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk, groaned as he tried to stand up in the crater he found himself in. No easy task as not only did that weird energy from the wormhole seem to weaken him, but it seemed to have thrown his very thoughts out of whack. For the first time in forever, the thoughts of the Gamma Doctor and the Green Goliath appeared to be one and the same, to the point where the name "Bruce" seemed like an insult.

Granted, he still mourned the recent death of Doctor Elizabeth "Betty" Ross, but it seemed that was the only part of his life on Earth that he would regret leaving behind, especially since his so-called friends didn't even bother to let him visit her grave one last time. Oh, when he got his hooves on them...

Wait a minute: HOOVES?!

Looking down at himself, he saw that the energy had changed him more than he had originally thought: he was now a large green horse thing, complete with what looked to be an atom tattoo on his butt.

Pushing those thoughts aside for now, he took a good look around. He resisted the urge to go berserk with rage, as he knew full well that his most recent tantrum was the most likely reason why the mostly barren land didn't even come close to the description of where the puny humans back on the planet that was once his home had intended to send him.

Before he could further examine his situation, however, he heard some rustling coming from over one of the hills. Turning he saw what looked to be a swarm of creatures that all looked like a cross between a pony and a house fly approaching him. As predicted, they began to attack him, first one at a time, and then all at once: none of them gave him much of a challenge.

However, in the chaos one of them was able to injure him. Not appearing to have the same healing ability he once did, at least not yet, he fell to one knee, just in time to see a bunch of armored horses, some with horns and one or two with wings, approaching him. One of them, a unicorn, he surmised, shot him with some sort of...something from its horn. He cringed as he felt a dull pain that went away after a while, not failing to notice the scallop-like bulge that formed where he'd be hit in the meantime.

"By order of the Great Emperor of Equestria, all trespassers in the Saddle Arabian Desert are to be brought before him," the unicorn, who sported a yellowish mane and tail, not to mention a sort of star-shaped tattoo on his butt, stated with a snooty accent.

As the Hulk grumbled a little in trying to get his bearings, one of the fly-ponies looked up at the arrogant pony and growled.

"It's not your place to make demands," he/she/it declared, "He is CLEARLY in Changeling territory, therefore he belongs to US!"

"Enough: don't forget who delivers you the bulk of the supplies needed for the construction of the meager dwellings you call home," the unicorn declared, "Now, if you know what's good for you, kneel."

After an intense stare down, the creatures, which the Hulk now knew were called Changelings got into a kneeling position just as the Green Goliath was getting to his feet.

"The spell I cast has more-then-likely taken full effect by now, whoever or whatever you are," the snooty pony began, "which means you can understand me, so ON. YOUR. KNEES."

Growling in response, the arrogant brat just had enough time to bark out another "KNEEL!" before Hulk began to advance on what he assumed was the commanding officer.

Whether the stuck-up unicorn stood a chance against the Green Goliath is a subject to which we may never know the answer to (though my money says "absolutely not"), because it was at THAT moment that his horn lit up, somehow causing the scallop-bulge-thing to send a stream of agony through the Hulk's body.

Now, it's no secret that Bruce Banner's alter ego is one of the most powerful, if that not THE most powerful beings in existence, but as he soon found out, it's kind of hard to USE that level of power when you can't even move. As he found himself passing out with a face plant, he managed to hear the snooty guy declare "Close enough."

Somehow even when losing consciousness that remark made him want to kick the smug pony between the...

Pinkie Pie: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Narrator: Pinkie, what are you doing? You don't make an official appearance until later in the story…

Pinkie: Oh, I know that: I just thought I'd remind you that you're trying to avoid using that kind of language in this story…

Narrator: Oh, right (clears throat)

Anyways, sometime later, the Hulk started to regain consciousness, though that didn't exactly mean he was okay with his new surroundings. However, it seemed he wasn't the only bothered by the situation. In fact, even before his eyes had fully opened, he soon discovered that... well, it's easier to show then to tell...

Fluttershy: Please: won't you show some kindness? Hey, you're a fast flier, right? Can't you find a way out of here?

Rainbow Dash: Sit down: panicking won't help us any...

Fluttershy: ...but I don't want to hurt anypony, if they ARE ponies they make us fight... What if they make us fight some cute little animals? What if... Hey, that pony's awake!

The yellow pegasus with the pink hair quickly approached him and inquired to if he could help them, to which he growled in response.

"Really now, timid Fluttershy: is that how you choose to say hi?" a Zebra in tribal looking clothes declared as she approached he approached the green pony, "It seems that a great journey you've been through, and that it has taken some strength away from you. It will likely return in due time, so for now know that the name Zecora is mine."

"Where am I?" Hulk demanded.

"Inside a special transport carriage, though not as a guest or host: to the drivers, you are a slave at most," Zecora replied.

"The Hulk is not, and never will be, a slave!" the green goliath declared, straining against his chains.

"Easy now, my grumpy friend: the enchantment on those chains won't easily end. You who say Hulk is your name: know that for your fate that we have the same," the zebra relayed, "You need to save your strength, alas, for the games we will face will soon come to pass."

"I STILL don't get why the Black King demands we slaughter each other for his entertainment," the yellow pegasus declared, "I only wish to help others."

"Sorry sugarcube, but you can't protect others if you and the others are DEAD," an orange pony with a cowgirl hat on her head deadpanned.

"Applejack is right, I'm afraid, but also know that our hopes of survival must not become of dissuade," Zecora declared.

"You have a plan?" Rainbow Dash asked with a slight scoff.

"Indeed I do, Rainbow Dash, so it's very important that we do not be brash," Zecora replied. Looking to the Hulk she then said, "I'll need you to fight up front brave and strong, so with Rainbow you must go along."

Noticing the nearly silent growl Hulk replied with, the zebra continued with, "Applejack, you're physical traits are nowhere near ordinary: the tales of your Dark Hail battles are extraordinary!"

"Hey, I'm JUST as skilled in hoof-to-hoof combat!" a rather bold looking pegasus declared, "I should be fighting from the front line as well!"

"For this, Lightning Dust, I must disagree: from the second position with myself and Applejack you must be. Fluttershy, I wish you to show no fear, but you will be helping Miss Rarity with the fillies from the rear."

"Oh yeah, this is GREAT!" a small white unicorn sitting next to a slightly larger one of similar coloration who wore a diamond marking on her rear.

"Yeah: ya'll know what THIS means right?" remarked a yellow…earth-pony, I suppose…

Pinkie Pie: What do you MEAN "you suppose"? That's what they're called, aren't they?

Narrator: (sighs) Yes Pinkie, but Hulk hasn't learned this yet: we haven't left his point of view

Pinkie: Oh; carry on then…

Anyways, a not-quite orange-colored pegasus quickly replied with, "I sure do," before the trio declared, "Cutie Mark Crusader Freedom Fighters! Yeah!"

"Sweetie Belle, you DO remember that you three already have your marks, right?" the older unicorn questioned, to which Hulk, like the trio, turned his attention to their tail ends.

It was true, actually: they all had a shield marking on the area, albeit with a few minor differences, like one had a thunderbolt, the other possessed a musical note, and the last one bore a heart.

Still, his questions about all this, and any chance of hearing a reply, were soon shattered by another voice declaring, "NO! I object! I don't care if they have their marks now: there STILL Blank Flanks to me and I REFUSE to fight alongside them." A glasses-wearing mare, standing beside a pony with a broken tiara on her head, soon followed up with, "Yeah, no WAY are we following through with your plan!"

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, please stop this defiance soon!" Zecora growled, "Do you realize what you demand? To survive even a moment, together we must band!"

"I WOULD agree," Diamond Tiara seemed to relent, "IF you weren't a known accomplice of the Black King!"

"How DARE ya'll accuse her of such a thing!" an earth pony with a western-looking hat that Hulk could only assume was Applejack…

Pinkie Pie: Assume?

Narrator: Hulk wasn't exactly paying attention to who Zecora was talking to earlier, okay?

Pinkie: Okay, I MIGHT be able to buy that, but don't you think that's a bit much? I mean the other readers could send you some complaints about this if you don't…

Narrator: Can I PLEASE get back to the story at some point?

Pinkie: Oh, sorry (nervous chuckle) I'll be over here

Narrator: (sighs) Thank you (clears throat)

Anyways, the unicorn known as Rarity followed up by shouting, "INDEED! Zecora is here because she was found guilty of helping the resistance that fights against that uncouth tyrant!"

"It's alright: not all of us will easily ignore fear," Zecora replied, before the movement around them starting to go away, "However, the time for talk is over: we are here."

To be continued…

Author's Note

For those who wanted to see the colosseum and/or the ponies fighting for their lives, I'm sorry, but I still have to work out a few details, and besides, THIS makes the whole thing worth waiting for, at least I would hope so.

Also, just to get it out of the way, I decided to borrow an idea from the "Pinkie Tales" series that "Magpiepony" put up on Youtube and have a certain pink pony interrupting the story in classic fourth wall fashion.

However, I wasn't lying when I said that she WILL make an appearance later on in the story, so I hope you can endure the wait.

In the meantime, let me know in the comments/reviews what you think of everything thus far.

Pinkie Pie: See you next time!

Author: (groans) Yeah, what she said (under breath) I just know this decision to let her do this thing is going to bite me in the…

Pinkie: LANGUAGE!

Author: (blushes) Sorry...