Pony & Blade: Warparty

by IAmNotDrunk

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure
Length: 5226

This is going to be a 3-way crossover between RL, M&B, and MLP

Calradia, the kingdoms are currently at peace, but a storm is brewing. Strange objects have been seen falling from the heavens, leaving strange, colorful, equine creatures. Stevius, a mercenary in the employ of the Swadian kingdom has been sent to investigate one of such occurrences, but finds not a horse, but a man. None of it makes sense, and the kingdoms are preparing themselves for the coming war, will the new visitors of Calradia survive the war & its horrors? And how will they return home? The story begins.... P.S. this will be my first published FanFic, so I'll be appreciative of help, I will also hold votes on what happens next!

I DO NOT OWN OR THINK I OWN THE MOUNT & BLADE SERIES OR ANY RELATED MATERIALS. TaleWorlds©

Published 2012-06-08 14:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-20 10:49:44 UTC

Ch. 1: Discovery

Chapter 1: Discovery

It was a spring day in the Swadian wilderness near Dhirim. Stevius, a legendary mercenary in the employ of the Kingdom of Swadia was sent to investigate a strange phenomenon that had been happening all over Calradia. Strange objects were crashing down from the sky, leaving nothing but a small crater and a colored equine. At first some of the kingdoms thought it was some new seige weapon developed by the others to crush castle defences, but once they discovered the ponies, truth had soon dawned upon those lords & their kings. They were under invasion from an unknown force, most seemingly unhostile, but a few of them dearly confused had ended up making themselves enemies of certain kingdoms. This arrival of strangers had all but shattered the fragile peace that had currently taken hold of the war-torn land. Now Stevius had been told to go find another of these creatures resting in the crater, but found something different entirely. He found another human.

The man was weak and tired, occasionally turning and groaning. Obviously drained from his experience, He was laying in the center of the crater his crash created. He was dressed strangely, with a coat of some sort, held together down the middle with some seemingly iron bands. He wore shoes with laces and a strange fabric, and leggings of the sort that you would see few commoners with. Stevius approached the man and pulled him up to his feet, staring into his face to get a feel for his personality. Stevius was good at that, he possesed such charisma and charm that no one could do him wrong without feeling guilt afterwards, and he led his men into battle with great bravery. Stevius then proceeded to ask him a simple question, hoping they spoke the same language, "Who are you, and where are you from?" The man retorted by falling to his knees and vomiting in the dirt. Stevius understood his situation, he had been captured before, suffering terrible conditions. He waited patiently, stroking his jet-black beard. The man responded by saying
"My name is Gavin, I am from the United States, and I live in California." then wretching on the ground some more. Stevius was confused. The other reports had suggested that the others had come from "Equestria" and all had strange names, while this one seemed to be from a foreign land, but a relatively normal name, even if he had never heard of these, "United States", they sounded nice enough. Stevius asked another question,
"Do you know where you are?"
"No," He responded.
"Good that I found you first instead of some bandits then, eh?" Stevius chuckled, then his face turned back to his original serious demeanor. "You are on the land of the Kingdom of Swadia, near the City of Dhirim." Gavin soon responded with a look of shock on his face and replied.
"What?"
"You are near the city of Dhirim, in Swadian territory." He then seemed to speak to himself, half mumbling & half yelling.
"This can't be... How the hell... What's happening..." Stevius had lead him out of the crater by this time asking minor questions, not bringing up the fact that these craters had been made all over Calradia. He was walking Gavin towards a horse when they heard one of Stevius' troops calling out.
"Sir! That's one of 'em!" One of his soldiers that had seen that equine before yelled and pointed at a lavender colored unicorn creature that had been spying on them as it gasped and began to flee.
"Hurry and try to corner it, don't harm it though," Stevius responded, "I must see if I can persuade it to come with us to Praven." He then helped Gavin on to one of his spare war horses and the chase began, the party's new companion lagging slightly behind. As the pony fled it noticed that the Swadian knights in Stevius' party were beginning to overtake her. She stopped for a second and her horn began to glow, as she did so she threw one of the knights into a charging sergeant, knocking him to the ground. Pleased with her performance but still being chased, the pony started to see her route of escape narrowing, as they began to reach a forest, she knew she was cornered. As she began to use her magic a sudden voice yelled, asking her to stop."Wait! I've heard tales of your kind, but never had been able to see one up close seeing as my contract restricts me from straying too far," Stevius chuckled again, remembering that he had about 3 days left on his contract. "And before you ask, I have been told from said stories that all of you can speak our language, so don't try to fake it." The pony then asked two questions,
"What do you want with me, and who is that?" she then scowled at Gavin while her horn glowed, who returned a suprised and confused glance. Gavin then put his hands over his face and looked to the sky, screaming.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Stevius then replied with a clever answer,
"I'd like to ask you two the same thing," The pony then regained everyones attention and announced herself once again as she had done once before, after almost being captured by bandits in the middle of the kingdom.
"I am Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia, and resident of Ponyville in the land of Equestria." She began, "I don't know why I am here, but I'm sure another one of your kind has the answers." Twilight finished, scowling at Gavin once more.
"Leave me alone, I don't know what's going on here so much as you do, but I know more about this place than you do."
"Oh really?" She asked still scowling, when Stevius interrupted.
"Stop, I entreat you both to travel with me to the city of Praven, neither of you have made yourself an enemy of Swadia yet, so count yourself lucky.'
"Fine." They both replied in unison. This was going to be an interesting few days for all of Calradia.

Ch. 2: Explanations

Ch. 2: Explanations

Gavin was following behind the marching troops, which were arranged in a specific formation. Soldiers in the middle, Archers in the back, Cavalry surrounding. He noticed Twilight keeping an eye on him at all times, she didn't trust him. How could she trust him? He was a human, and Twi hadn't had a good experience with humans so far. She'd almost been captured by bandits when she landed, only narrowly escaping through a lucky intervention by Manhunters. Gavin looked out of the corner of his eye and smiled slightly at her. Twilight responded by looking away from him, closing her eyes, speeding up, and raising her head as she let out a small "Hmph!" Gavin then shook his head,
"Is there anyway that I could get you to even slightly trust that I had nothing to do with this?"
"How about telling me where we are exactly, seeing as you're the 'expert' here." She then walked into a tree and fell on her backside. "Why didn't you tell me I was going to walk into that?!" She snarled.
"You wouldn't have believed me anyway." Gavin replied shrugging, a big smile on his face.
"Fair enough," Twi said, "If I'm going to trust you though, I'm going to need some answers." She looked at him warily as she got up from her accident.
"Well, what do you wanna know?" He asked. Gavin was then assaulted with a slew of questions.
"What is this place, why have we been sent here, where are my friends, who are you, what did you do, and how can I get back home?"
"I can only answer a few of those questions, but I'll tell you what i can." Gavin sighed and prepared himself for a long, long conversation.

He started with his explanation of where they were, Calradia, which was a war-torn land full of constant fighting and violence, and how there may have been some reason they were sent here or it was just some accident. Twilight was suprised at how much information he knew on the area as he explained each kingdom and their neighbor in detail, and slowly her gaze of distrust turned to curiosity. He eventually moved on how he couldn't answer her other questions, as he probably had even less of an understanding on what was happening than she did, and that he thought Twi's friends might be scattered throughout the kingdoms. She was concerned for her friends, but she couldn't worry about that now, soon seeing how they may have been sent to quell the discord in this land. "Discord..." She whispered.
"What was that?" Gavin asked.
"Nothing, please continue." He smiled, realizing he was beggining to earn a small amount of trust and continued. He then explained who he was. Gavin was just a guy, living in his own home who occasionally went out with some friends and loved music, reading, walking, and his computer. Twilight didn't know what a computer was, so he said he'd explain it later, and that it could relate to the magic she used. He then said the last thing he remembered was going home after a long day of work and passing out on his couch. The last thing he said was that he didn't know how they got here, or how to get back, just that she should find her other five friends. "Wait... how did you know how many friends I have, and how did you know that I study magic? I didn't tell you that!" Twilight said, now even more suspicious of him now.
"Oh hell..." He was in for it now. He'd have to explain EVERYTHING. What else could he say? That he was a timelord? No, he had to open his big mouth, and now he was in deep shit. -Why did I have to be a Brony?- he thought to himself, contemplating how he should go about his explanation. "Well, this is going to sound VERY wierd, and as if I came up with it right now, but..." Gavin gulped, realizing that he was about to break the fourth wall, which already seemed quite broken, as he was speaking with a cartoon pony, and blurted out a answer. "You are a cartoon character created for a children's show that is quite amazing and I happen to watch occasionally and this world is also created as a game for people to enjoy and have fun in." He cringed and prepared for the worst. Nothing happened, he opened his eyes to see her stopped, staring forward, proccessing what she had just heard. Twilight was confused, what did it mean? Was she not real? Was her world just some fabrication made for others entertainment as some sick cosmic joke? Did she leave muffins in the stove? She gathered herself and trotted back to the group, suffering some sort of shell-shock from what she heard. "So you're going to expect me to believe that I'm just a fake cartoon made for other people to laugh at?"
"Not necessarily," Gavin replied, "I for one hoped that something like this would happen, just in a happier time and place." He then explained how their could be parallel universes and that their being here could just be evidence to years of theories.
"Huh," She replied slightly relieved, confused, and surprised that she had taken this information so lightly. "Well, we might as well follow this 'Stevius' character."
"Yeah, we should probably speed up, we're losing them." Twilight then looked to see the group was quite a bit ahead of them. Stevius had taken notice and went to the back of his troops lines, calling for his two companions to hurry.
"We're almost to Dhirim," He said, "We can stock up on supplies and continue to Uxkhal in the morning." He wondered what had happened, noticing a strange bond of trust had seemed to form between his two newest associates as they moved closer, smiling. -This will prove to be interesting...- He thought to himself, -Very interesting indeed, I wonder what King Harlaus will have to say of this...- The trio then advanced back to the front of the group, and approached the city of Dhirim.

Ch. 3: Adventurous Eaters

Ch. 3: Adventurous Eaters

Stevius had ordered the majority of his troops to stay outside Dhirim's walls while he and a select few gathered supplies. In an effort to show his charges how life naturally worked inside city walls, Stevius had covered an old wagon in cloth and placed them on said cart with one of his sergeants. So far everything went well, until they began to near the marketplace. The hustle and bustle of Dhirim's market amazed Twilight, who recognized many of the goods being traded, and wanted eagerly to learn of trade similarities. She watched as people exchanged money & merchandise, such as weapons and armor, they soon neared the food section of the market, and Twilight saw something that made her heart sink. It was a hanging carcass, that of a seemingly healthy Cow. She couldn't possibly comprehend why anyone would do such a thing to a poor animal, and noticed the surrounding masses. It was mostly a crowd of poor folk, some so full of their penury as to sink so low to begin pickpocketing unknowing strangers. Some of the more fortunate were bartering merchandise and buying food for their families in the city, -Oh...- Twilight thought, -I can't believe I didn't see it...-
"Is something wrong?" The sergeant asked,
"You... you eat meat, is that right?"
"Of course, it's a necessary part of staying alive I believe."
"Well, I won't tell you what you can and can't eat," Twilight said, staring despairingly and worriedly at the dessicated cattle's corse, she began to notice all the different, strange foods flowing there.
"You've got to think Twi," Gavin began to intrude, "My... OUR, species seems to have a far more diverse diet than that of ponies."
"That seems a bit obvious," Twilight retorted, "Why couldn't you warn me earlier about this, seeing you are the expert, and since when did I say you could call me Twi?" She then raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed and slightly amused at Gavin's attempts to win her entire trust. It wouldn't be long till he gained that trust, he reminded her of spike in a way, she sorta liked him, only in a more 'Annoying Little Brother' sort of way. And sure he was argumentative, but so was she at times. Gavin shrugged, smirked and replied.
"I thought it'd be better for you to see for yourself, and regarding your nickname, you never said I couldn't."
"Well the shock sure hit home with me," She said as they moved past the meat market. "Never would have thought that any other sentient being would eat another living being for sustenance." She rolled her eyes, emphasizing her sarcasm, she may have never seen seperate entities this 'intelligent' before, but she would have eventually deduced that it was part of their diet, and not think that they murdered an animal for pure entertainment value. Gavin then sighed, and turned to the sergeant.
"Didn't she throw that knight at you the other day?"
"Yessir, but Stevius told me to leave it alone," He replied solemnly, "Better to forgive and forget anyway, eh?" The man then chuckled to himself.
"Damn, I could use some moral high-ground here for once..."
"Trust me, when you're with Stevius, you always have the high-ground." The sergeant winked.
"Ha!" Twilight replied, "If anyone is holding any moral high-ground here it's me." Twilight said smugly.
"Y'know, I'm starting to feel a little hungry here, would you mind if I took a..." Gavin was cut off by twilight's horn emitting a dim glow.
"Don't even try it." She said bluntly.
"Ok, Ok! It was a joke, jeez..." Gavin then rolled his eyes mockingly at Twilight, which made her a little relieved,
-Did I actually think he would try that?- she thought to herself, -By Celestia, I can be stupid sometimes...- she then did a mental facehoof and replied nervously. "Of course it was, not like I thought you would try eating me or something."
"Haha, you have nothing to fear Ms. Sparkle, I have no interest in pony meat," He then leaned in to whisper to her. "I'm not so sure about the other guy though..." He then let out a devious smile as Twi's anxiety increased.
"You three are very lucky that sheet muffles above you," Stevius lectured, "You're talking as if this is some sort of field trip to some royal feast." He then contemplated his words in thought, noticing that this technically was a field trip. After what seemed like an eternity, the sun began to set, and the droves of people with it. All that remained on the streets were cutthroats, drunkards, and other undesirables that would ruin anyone's day. Stevius had set up camp outside of the city, and was bringing his party into camp when a messenger arrived with a letter. The mysterious man had a black robe covering his body, and a hood covering his face. He walked in an awkward manner as if he was still getting used to being sober after a drunken spree. All he did was deliver a letter, addressed to Gavin, and hobble away into the darkness. Stevius gave him the letter and advised him to keep it now and read it later, but Gavin opened it, revealing it to be a surprisingly blank parchment, with a single strange mark in the middle. The mark had a strange allure to it, as if drawing him closer. As he moved his hand slowly across the letter he began to feel as if his mind was being invaded, and quickly withdrew his now shaken appendage. He then decided it was time for rest, as Stevius then led Twi and him to their tent for the night. The tent that was set up for him was sized for about two soldiers, or in this case, a pony and a lazy-ass. Gavin then began to lay down on his blanket, thought happy thoughts to take his mind off of where he was, and drifted off into a tired slumber.

Ch. 4: Nightmares

Chapter 4: Nightmares

It wasn't long before he had fell asleep that Gavin began to dream. He dreamt of his home, his friends, his life on Earth, how peaceful and simple it was, how boring. He may have been sleeping but he recognized the thought as not his own, he liked the simple life, or did he? Gavin was on the midst of comprehending how that thought bore into his mind but in his slumber he was vulnerable. His subconscious had realized this beforehand and was already at work exposing what was going on in his head. His mind was represented to him as a source of light amongst a black sea of nothing, his subconscious as an orb of blue energy, the intruder in his mind as an alternating mass of colors and shapes. The intruder was wrapping dark glowing red tendrils around his mind, diminishing its white hue and beginning to convert it to the dark red color. The glowing blue subconscious rushed from Gavin's dream, leaving It defenseless to save the whole. His dream had begun to revert to something strange and horrible. Spiders crawled from cracks in the walls of his home, his friends bodies contorting into physically impossible shapes and grew strange clawlike appendages, fire and ash rained outside the windows and he himself was just a small defenseless child. His subconscious was busy investigating the unnatural thought and was witnessing the twisting of his mind. The dream was just a box amongst the darkness, close to the mind, but still far seperated. Without defense from his subconscious the dream would revert into nightmare, but the dream does not affect the whole unless given due time. The shining blue orb began to launch small spherical projectiles at the mass that was corrupting Gavin's mind, in turn the intruder released its grip and began to unexpectedly attack the dream, converting it further to nightmare. Gavin's subconscious let out a large blue flare and launched it at the intruder, who let out a maniacal laugh. "Is this all that you're mental defences can do?" It then continued to laugh unimpressed, and went back to the mind. By this time the subconscious had used up most of its options, fighting it was useless, it had no effect. Occupying it was also a failure, as the intruder deemed it trivial to deal with something so weak. It had considered its third and final option, wake up.

In his nightmare Gavin had escaped from his now smoldering home and was being chased by his immensely deformed former friends who where letting out bloodcurdling screams as they charged for him. He had then ran across his not-so-sleepy town and reached a lake. Seeing it as his only viable option for survival Gavin jumped into the water and was swept away with a strong current. When he resurfaced he found he was floating in a river and was fast-approaching a particularly deadly-looking waterfall. He was grabbing around the near 12 ft deep water for some way to save himself from the fall, but it was too late and he fell down the waterfall and broke the surface face-first. When he surfaced again he was drained, and floated lazily along the now calm water until he came to a stop at a small pond. he just stayed there, unable to move, and waited. He was then suddenly grasped by a dark red tendril from the now crimson-red water. it had wrapped itself around his neck and was pulling him under, he couldn't resist after the fall, he was too weak. That feeling was from his subconscious using all of its strength to keep the corruption from spreading. Two more appeared from the murky fluid and wrapped across his chest, submerging him completely under the now endless abbyssal ocean of red. Then something snapped, and it all ended. He was still asleep, but Gavin's subconscious had considered another option, exposing the intruder by ending the nightmare. There was that shifting mass of color once again, Gavin was floating in the black nothingness, and saw his mind begin to recover as it was guarded by his subconscious. The malicious mass then began to fade and reveal a true form. Gavin recognized his favorite villian instantly, Discord. "It's good to see you're mind has some spunk," The draconequus chuckled, "I was hoping it would of put up a better fight." He then looked back at the recovering mind that he had been twisting. "I guess I was asking for it," Discord looked to Gavin and put one of his claws on his left hand on Gavin's lips and let out a "shh..." as he tried to speak. "Your mind put up a good fight, more than I expected," He looked at Gavin, half respectfully and half amused, "So I'll leave your little thing you have going here alone, but don't expect me to not tempt you when you're awake!" Discords eyes then widened and his mouth turned into an "o" shape, then they reverted back and he let out a devious smile as he slithered around Gavin. "Oh, and I almost forgot you won't remember any of this, except the nightmare, that should prevent you from warning any of the ponies that I'm here, and that nightmare was GENIUS!" He then flew around him, spinning Gavin like a top as he was unwrapped. "One more thing!" Discord yelled as he began to fly away, "You should try to avoid King Harlaus, he doesn't like you... or the ponies..." He then did a spin and let out a maniacal cackle as he dissapeared in a flash.

In said flash Gavin awoke in a damp sweat, panting. It was pitch black and he heard sounds of shuffling and a fire outside his tent, showing that the others were still awake and that he was still in Calradia, then Gavin noticed something. He looked to his lap to see a sound asleep Twilight Sparkle laying across him. Gavin was then flooded with immense amounts of "D'aww" in his system that could possibly overload his nerves. He then began to slowly slink back down to his rough pillow, and slept. He may have remembered only the nightmare, but something was still very unsettling in his head, he felt as if he had just had an immense violation of privacy. It would end up being the worst sleep he had in months.

Ch. 5: Glorious Morning

Chapter 5: Glorious Morning

Gavin had woken up at near midday with his face smashed into his pillow. He looked up and turned his head to see through his slightly opened tent flap, only to be near-blinded by the sun's light.

"Aw, damn it!" He said, blocking the light with his hand. He looked around the tent, never having got a good look at it in the middle of the night. There wasn't much to see: two beds, a small lantern, two sacks, and... a book? He picked it up and looked at the cover, "Diary of Twi-" He stopped himself and put the book down. -How the hell did she get a diary? WHO IS SUPPLYING YOU?!- Gavin sat confused for about a minute before someone unceremoniously whipped the tent open further.

"Stevius requests your presence." It was a soldier that wore the armor befitting a Rhodok sergeant, very green, very very green.

"You, my good man, are too green. As I am deathly tired, and have already been blinded by the light, tell him I will meet him shortly and please leave before your vibrant color kills my eyes..." Gavin spoke as he flipped onto his side. The soldier looked at him and scrunched his eyebrows, confused as to how such a man could be deemed so important. And why colors bothered him so much. The sergeant assumed he would eventually learn his place, and left the matter at that. He then proceeded to shake his head, huff, and march himself towards the command tent Stevius had the men set up while he was in town.

Twilight had spent most of the morning waiting near a burnt-out campfire waiting for Gavin to wake up from his fitful sleep so they could meet with Stevius. He worried her. All he seemed to do that night was twist around and mumble to himself while he slept. It was odd, how that strange person handed him that note and just hobbled away, and she began to regret not chasing him down. She had felt inclined to help in any way she could. So she slept on his lap. Hey, it was more comfortable than the bed! She began to feel like it would be better to stay close to this human, He was... different, to say the least. She hadn't expected another human to come crashing down from the heavens. She had assumed that it would be another pony, or a delicious muffin. At that point it occurred to the unicorn that her belly was starting to do the thinking, and that she should probably get something to eat. For the time-being she would stave off her hunger though, as a tired figure began to emerge from the tent.

"Oh, I see you're up." She said, a tone of worry in her voice.

"I guess you caught my night terrors, huh?" Gavin replied with a smirk and a yawn.

"Um... yes, yes I did." she hoofed the ground nervously, "Are you... alright?"

"Honestly? No." He frowned, "I was taken from my home, thrown into a war-torn medieval landscape, and now I'm being taken to a king who will probably decide my fate before I even get there." He felt like screaming. "All in all, I'm doing pretty fan-fucking-tastic, don't ya think?" Even he was taken aback by his sudden swear and apologized immediately. "I'm sorry, we're both going through the same thing here, aren't we?" Twilight was slightly shocked by his outburst, but knew that this was a lot of stuff for him to sift through in his head in so little time, unlike herself, who had quite some time to process the events unfolding.

"It's fine, you probably didn't mean to go off like that." She smiled at the realization that she had someone to relate to in this situation. "And you're right, we are." Gavin was relieved by her understanding and spread his arms wide in an offering.

"Hugs?" Twilight looked at this strange man confusedly, and he looked back, mocking her expression. She responded by rolling her eyes and embracing said strange man. She almost immediately regretted that decision. "YOU ARE SO SOFT!" He stood up with her raised off the ground and began to shake from side to side. When he felt he had adequately shook the life out of her, he released her mercifully and began to laugh hysterically.

"Why... did you do that?" Twilight scowled, panting.

"Because you are soft, and soft things require vigorous hugs." He replied matter-of-factly.

"Remind me not to let you hug Fluttershy, you might just smother her!" Smirking, she readjusted her mane and looked at the bystanders who had witnessed the display of affection. They were all either staring or laughing at the sight, which caused Twilight to blush.

"What? A guy can't hug a soft pony without being stared at by a camp of hardened war veterans? What is this world coming to?!" This caused her to blush even further, much to the delight of the camp, as well as Gavin.

"We should probably go meet with Stevius now, huh?" She interrupted him before he could make the situation more embarrassing than it was.

"Oh, fine. Party-pooper."

"Stevius, he sort of, uh... weaseled his way out of meeting you immediately." Stevius looked at his sergeant with confusion.

"Just... just make sure he gets over here, alright?" He rubbed his forehead with a chain-mail covered hand.

"I'll do what I can, sir." The sergeant left the tent, and Stevius with his thoughts. How was he going to keep those two in line? Would they even need to be in line? And the ultimate question, how could he keep them safe from the kings wrath? He knew of the inevitable end that would reach the two if they met the King under current circumstances, but if he didn't bring them to him then it's his ass. He needed to figure out how he could keep them from an untimely end, and still keep himself from croaking as well. He had but a day or two left on his contract, just enough time. Now wasn't the time to dwell on those thoughts though, as he had to speak with his new associates about their situation. He waited for awhile longer and heard male laughter outside his tent and the tell-tale clopping of hooves.

"There they are... Finally."