What Every Wonderbolt Captain Learns
Rainbow Dash could barely contain her excitement.
She was going to be captain of the Wonderbolts! Captain! Captain! The word bounced around in her head and she bounced along with it. She briefly wondered if this was what Pinkie Pie felt like on a daily basis.
She floated into the office, where Spitfire, a few other high-ranking Wonderbolt members, and one white pegasus Rainbow Dash hadn't seen before were all gathered. Even with one of her wings in a splint, scratches all over her body, and a large gash across the right side of her face, Spitfire stood every inch a captain.
Well, not anymore, technically. That was going to be Rainbow's job now.
"Rainbow Dash," Spitfire greeted her. “Have a seat.”
Rainbow Dash hopped on the cloud that floated in front of the desk (which was also made of cloud) and settled down comfortably. She could never understand how some ponies could sleep on beds and sit on chairs and work on desks made of wood when a cloud was obviously far superior.
Spitfire saw her quivering with excitement, and was briefly reminded of another mare in a similar position many years ago, except this one had yellow fur and a mane like fire... She shook her head and continued. “Rainbow Dash,” she intoned with as much formality as she could (which wasn't a whole lot. It was probably the line of work they were in—when you're a flying team pulling dangerous stunts all day every day, you learn to laugh and joke quickly, or you will break under the pressure). "You have been chosen as the Captain of the Wonderbolts, with all the honor, prestige, and responsibility that come therewith." She dropped her eyes to re-read the next part on the card. Stupid tradition. She would much rather have gone, 'Here's your goggles, RD, now get outta here and let me lick my wounds in peace.' But noooo.... Tradition mandated this, and tradition had to be followed. So Spitfire was here, reading some stupid card following some stupid tradition that had been around forever, surrounded by living memories of things she couldn't have again, when she would much rather have gone home and hidden inside a cloud and never come out again.
Losing the ability to fly can break a pegasus. Especially one who lived for flying. Spitfire was one of those ponies. Then again, so was Rainbow Dash. Spitfire thought she could see much of herself in the cyan pegasus, albeit a bit younger (and much less injured).
Spitfire shook her head and returned to the present. "Do you accept, oh captain-elect?"
"You bet your wings I do!" Rainbow Dash winced after that idiom left her mouth, because Spitfire's fracture was bad enough that she wouldn't be flying anywhere anytime soon.
Soarin snickered, the irony not lost on him.
Nor was Spitfire's back right hoof, as it drove itself into his ribs.
As Soarin lay on the floor wheezing, Spitfire flipped her mane out of her eyes and tried again. "Now, it is time for the initiation."
"Initiation?" Rainbow's mind flashed back to the hazing given to all new recruits. Naturally, she had been fast enough to avoid most of it (earning her some respect and major sky cred), but what would a captain have to go through?
Wait.... A horrible thought ran through her mind.
"You aren't pranking me, are you?" Rainbow grew worried, her voice rising in pitch as she rambled nervously. "I mean, that would be a great prank, but it's not really a prank, right? I mean, I love pranks, you of all ponies know that, but seriously, that would be awful and...."
"Rainbow! It's not a prank. Honest to Celestia, I'm stepping down and I've chosen you as my replacement. And I don't think I could have found a better one. Your loyalty is commendable, your flying is amazing, you're great with the fans and the kids, you're fiercely loyal... and of course, the Sonic Rainboom."
Ah... the Sonic Rainboom. It was considered by many to be legendary, but Rainbow was one of the very limited number of pegasi able to pull one off. After her training, she could do one on command; with enough room to fly, that is. And when she failed, she usually ended up crashing really hard, and that was impressive in its own right. For some reason, some crowds really liked that sort of thing. Rainbow winced as the memories of the last crash flooded her memory. Stupid town hall, getting in the way....
Spitfire resumed. "Now, as captain, tradition mandates that I tell you this story."
Rainbow snickered. "Storytime? I'm not a foal. Unless you brought snacks? And then it's naptime, right? I remember how this works."
Soarin perked up at the thought of snacks, but a quick glare from Spitfire quickly put a stoic look on his face.
Stoic for Soarin, anyway. On anypony else, it would have just looked slightly goofy. He was a good stallion, but Rainbow was pretty sure he'd crashed into a few too many walls over the years.
Spitfire shook her head and tried again. “You may have noticed that we always do shows for different arenas, in different areas, but our most common gigs are flybys to Royal events, like galas and such."
"Yeah?" Rainbow wasn't sure where this was going.
"You don't know this, because members are salaried, but we don't get paid for those shows."
"What??” Rainbow shot to her hooves. “Those are, like, our most common thing!"
"I know. I'll explain why if you stop interrupting."
Rainbow Dash sat back down, forelegs crossed; interest piqued, but suspicious all the same.
Spitfire took a breath. "This is the story of the founding of the Wonderbolts as we know them today."
"I know this story," Dash interrupted. “I've been your... our... biggest fan since...”
Spitfire narrowed her eyes. Rainbow promptly shut her mouth.
"It happened back in the days of Swiftwing, the founder of the Wonderbolts."
"Hah! Back when our uniforms were all that nasty shade of blue and the logo was his cutie mark?" Rainbow quickly put her hooves over her mouth.
Spitfire nodded. "Yep. He was a proud pegasus. Too proud. He claimed to be the fastest pony in all the land."
"And he was, wasn't he?"
Spitfire's eyes narrowed further. "Rainbow...."
Rainbow Dash had the decency to look slightly sheepish. "Sorry..."
"Yes, yes he was. But he ended up shooting his mouth off about it in all the wrong places. Problem was, he won the challenges other ponies threw down. Every race, he was on top.
"One day, his team did a flyby at a Grand Galloping Gala." Spitfire saw Rainbow open her mouth to ask a question, but under her frosty gaze, slowly shut it again. "Yes, they have been around that long. Even longer. That Gala was the last one we got paid to do.
"He shot his mouth off about how he was the fastest in the land, faster than any griffon or dragon.... or even alicorn."
Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. "He didn't."
"He did. And he said it to the princesses's faces. Guards stepped in, ready to take him out, but Celestia raised a hoof to stop them. I think if Luna had been in charge, Swiftwing would have spent a few years in the dungeon, if not on the moon. But it was Celestia on the throne that night. She slowly walked down to him and looked right in his eyes. To his credit, he didn't even back down.
"She whispered something to him, he smirked and nodded, and they each turned away from each other and the party resumed."
"What did she say?"
Spitfire snorted. "What else would she say? She gave him a time and place, and challenged him to a race."
Swiftwing gently lowered himself to the cloud where Celestia was standing. He had snuck around behind so he could appear behind her (and hopefully surprise her).
"Part of me expected you to not be here, your highness," Swiftwing said airily.
Princess Celestia didn't even bat an eyelid as she turned around to face him. "One thing you can count on, my little pony, is that I always keep my word. Can the same be said about you?"
"Of course! I'd bet my wings on my word. My friends would bet their wings on my word."
"If you had any friends," Celestia muttered, as an aside.
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing,” Celestia replied airily. “Now, you accepted my race offer. Since I challenged you, it is only fair that you choose the terms."
Swiftwing sized up the princess, judging her size and her wingspan, but also compensating for the fact that she was royalty, and therefore fat, lazy, and out of shape. "Three laps around the mountain, third time finish line is that gazebo on the top of the mountain." Swiftwing always liked ending races going upward. It was much more fun, and a lot more of a challenge.
"And if you win?"
"When I win," Swiftwing corrected, "You make me royalty, the Wonderbolts get royal funding, and you have to say 'Swiftwing is best pony' in front of my team.” His eyes gleamed as he added, “And your sister."
Celestia's eyes twinkled. She knew Luna's personality, and how much that would rub her the wrong way. "And if I win, you get nothing; but the Wonderbolts have to appear at any royal function I desire, without monetary compensation; and the history of your defeat must be regaled to every one of your successors."
Swiftwing cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
Celestia suppressed a sigh and translated, "You have to perform at every royal party I want, but you won't be paid for it. And every future Wonderbolt captain must learn of your failure."
Swiftwing licked his lips in anticipation. "I agree to your terms." And they bowed with wings flared, a pegasus gesture for settling a deal.
He had to hold back a laugh as Celestia trotted up to the line. She hadn't even taken off her royal decorum! This was going to be easier than expected.
"You can say 'go', whenever you are ready. By the way, have you ever heard of a 'sonic rainboom'?"
"A what?"
"A sonic rainboom,” Celestia explained. “It's what happens when you go fast enough to break the sound barrier, causing a massive release of energy—a sonic boom and a rainbow at the same time."
"They don't exist, or else I would have done one already." Swiftwing was dismissive.
Celestia just smiled. "Whenever you're ready, Swiftwing."
The race was on.
Easily, Swiftwing was in first. Was there ever any doubt?
It had been two laps and every time he chanced a glance in the reflective pads sewn on his forelegs, Celestia had been far behind.
Oh, if only he had thought to bring his team.... they would have enjoyed seeing this.
Two and a half laps. No problem.
When he looked again, she had gained on him.
He did a double-take, but still there was Celestia, powerful wings having gained on him.
Swiftwing pushed himself harder, harder than he thought he could have.
And still she gained.
His wings burned, his eyes watered (back then, they still hadn't perfected the flight goggles).
And still she gained.
He looked over.... and there she was. Flying right next to him.
Then, of all things, she looked at him, winked cheekily, rolled over on her back while still flying, stuck her tongue out playfully, completed her roll, and laughed.
It was a high-pitched, enjoyable laugh, almost like music, but unmistakably tauntingly so.
Swiftwing grit his teeth and pushed through the pain. He pulled ahead just a little bit, but quickly found himself with a front-row view full of Royal princess tail.
"See you later, my little pony," Celestia called behind her.
And then, boom.
A rainbow explosion lit up the sky, blasting Swiftwing backwards in turbulence. When he recovered, he stopped and hovered, staring in awe what could only be the Sonic Rainboom. It was, to put it bluntly, an explosion of colors, expanding out in a ring that pushed beauty to a whole new level.
It was, without a doubt, the most glorious thing he had ever seen.
Rainbow Dash's eyes were wide. "So Celestia pulled the first Sonic Rainboom?"
"Yep,” Spitfire said, calm as could be. “Your signature trick used to be Royalty only."
Rainbow's eyes widened even further. "Wooooww.... THAT is SO COOL!"
"So obviously, he lost the race."
Rainbow's eyes flickered as something she had read before suddenly clicked. "Is that when he went crazy and Stratus Sights took over?"
"Pretty much."
Stratus tried to plead with the crazed blue pegasus. "Swiftwing! Captain! Listen to me! You are taking this too far!"
"No!! No. I must. I must."
Stratus rolled his eyes. "You must you must you must sleep. You've been doing this for two weeks straight. You have gotten no sleep, you're covered in bruises, and you're nowhere near actually doing this sonic rainthingy."
"It's called a rainboom. They will heal. I must finish this."
"Captain.” Stratus braced himself for what he was about to say. “You're insane. Come back..."
"Fly home!" Swiftwing spat angrily. “Captain's orders!”
Stratus's ears drooped, but Swiftwing continued in his own little world. "Now, she was flying up.... I know I'm not good enough yet for that, but if I fly down, gravity will help me out...."
Shaking his head sadly, Stratus flapped his wings and left the insane captain behind.
On her way to the throne room, Celestia paused at the north window. Swiftwing was still flying, trying to go even faster. It was early in the morning, but he had been flying for a couple of hours already (and you have to get up early to be up earlier than Celestia).
"How long have you been out there?" she whispered.
"Four hours and counting." Her sister, returning from the throne room herself, had heard the question and answered. She scoffed slightly. "Surely thou art not regretting thy decision?"
Celestia exhaled, looking out the window at the obsessed pegasus. "I don't know, sister."
"Sister, thou knowest that he insulted us?"
"That's not the problem here,” Celestia said, a hint of dejection creeping into her voice. “I hoped that my victory would humble him a bit; take him down a couple notches. I expected him to re-evaluate and change his ways, not obsess over the sonic rainboom and have it take him over.” She paused. “Have I ruined his life?"
"Some would have called for the end thereof," Luna muttered dismissively. "I go abed. If he die, wake me."
“So did he die?” Rainbow couldn't help but ask.
Spitfire nodded. “In a strange twist of irony, he was diving over the royal gardens even though he had been flying all day, miscalculated his lift or something, and crashed into a statue of Princess Celestia and died on impact. So I guess you could say that she killed him after all.”
Rainbow fought back a laugh. She and the white pegasus seemed to be the only ones who found that amusing.
Spitfire cleared her throat and spoke again. “Thus is the tale of the complete and utter defeat of Swiftwing, founder of the Wonderbolts. Remember it well, oh newly appointed captain, because at a future time when you too pass on this title, you will need to regulate....” Spitfire paused and squinted again at the cue card she had been reading from. “Wait.... Regal? Regale? I think it's regale.... regale your successor with this tale. Remember your power, but remember your position. All glory to Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, bringer of the day and banisher of the night and so on and so forth and yeah... Can I go home now?”
The white pegasus smiled. “I always thought that last part was a bit long-winded anyway,” she said.
Spitfire stuck her head inside the cloud that formed her desk and pulled out a small box. Opening it, she pulled out her flight goggles and tossed them to Rainbow Dash. “Wear 'em well, Dashie.” She smiled one last time, reached over and slid her nameplate into her saddlebag, lowered her head, and left the office, once again a normal citizen.
The white pegasus followed her. “I'll get you home,” she said. “You're in no condition to fly anywhere.”
Rainbow Dash was expecting Spitfire to say no, or some other quick comeback. Instead, she saw Spitfire smile. “Still can't leave me alone, after all these years?” She paused. “Yeah, I'd like that.” And with that, the white pegasus extended a wing over the former captain, and the two walked out together.
“So, Captain Rainbow Dash,” Soarin asked, a smile playing at his lips. “What's your first order as captain?”
Rainbow Dash pulled on the goggles with a satisfying snap. “Let's fly.”