Or Why the Dazzlings Weren't At the Games
"Nah nah nah nah nah nah-ah, Wondercolts united together,
Nah nah nah nah nah nah-ah, Wondercolts united forever..."
Sonata Dusk was prancing down the halls of Canterlot High, singing the inspiring anthem Rainbow Dash just created in the auditorium. Her compatriots, Adagio Dazzle and Aria Blaze, trailed behind her. Neither of them seemed to be as enthusiastic.
"Huh. She actually doesn't sound that bad," said Aria, a small smirk crossing her lips. "Maybe our singing voices weren't ruined. That's a relief, huh, Adagio?"
Adagio sulked. "I still don't know why everyone is making such a big deal over this. We have no investment in these stupid games."
"Yeah, I hear ya," Aria said with a shrug. "Maybe it's just a human thing. But hey, Sonata seems to like it. Might as well give it a shot."
Adagio gave Aria an incredulous look. "Since when have we ever taken Sonata's advice on anything?"
Sonata stopped singing and dancing. She turned around and leered at Adagio. "Hey! I heard that!"
Aria sighed. "Look, I don't really care about these games, either. But as long as we're at this school, we've got to go through with it." Her lips curled into a mischievous smirk. "Besides, maybe Rainbow Dash is right. Those Crystal Prop guys, or whatever they're called, probably haven't tangled with Equestrian magic before. We've got an ace in the hole."
Adagio's face darkened. "You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"
Aria scoffed. "Seriously, Adagio? You're still hung up about the Battle of the Bands? C'mon, that was months ago." She tried to place an arm around Adagio. "Let it go already."
"It's not the Battle of the Bands, you nincompoop," Adagio snarled, shoving Aria away. "It's you two!"
"What about us?"
"Ever since you made nice with those Rainbooms, you've forgotten about me!"
Sonata and Aria looked at each other, blinking in confusion. Sonata cleared her throat.
"Dagi, c'mon. We haven't forgotten you," she said. "We're working really hard to get your Equestrian magic back, too."
"How? By hanging out with the Rainbooms all day?" Adagio huffed.
"You're more than welcome to join us, Adagio," said Aria, rolling her eyes.
Adagio gasped. "As if I'd even consider playing nice with the ones who ruined our chance to take over this pathetic world!"
"The moment's come and gone, Adagio. Give it a rest," said Aria, folding her arms. "Besides, Sonata's right. We know how you can get your Equestrian magic back. We just don't have the money right now to get you a musical instrument."
Adagio's eye twitched. "A musical instrument?" She advanced towards the other Sirens, fire burning in her eyes. "A musical instrument?! You two should be helping me get revenge on the Rainbooms, you idiots! You saw that rally! They humiliated us!"
"Hey, they had a pic of Sunset Shimmer, too, but you don't see her complaining," Aria said defensively. She then sighed. "Look, Adagio. There's no need for this. It's gonna take some getting used to; I'm not gonna lie. But this friendship thing has kinda worked out for us. Heck, I know it worked out for Sonata at least."
"Yeah, Dagi. Stop being such a grumpy-grump," Sonata added. "The Rainbooms are actually very nice once you get to know them. Plus, we can use our Equestrian magic through friendship now! It's just as good as before!"
"But we already had friendship, Sonata! Before this mess, all three of us stuck together no matter what!" Adagio bellowed, staring down Sonata. "But now! Now you two don't respect me anymore! You'd rather play around with those goody-two-shoes than make me happy! You two aren't my friends!"
Sonata gasped, tears forming in her eyes. "Dagi, w-we don't think that at all," she whimpered.
"Don't Dagi me, Sonata," Adagio growled, her voice dripping with venom. "I've seen your true colors now. You don't care about me at all. You'd rather play in these pointless games than actually do something useful. Well, fine. Go play in your little Friendship Games. See if I care."
With that, she stormed off and marched right out of the school. Sonata heaved a great sigh.
"Maybe she's right, Aria," she said glumly. "We have been spending a lot of time with the Rainbooms lately, now that we're all friends."
"It's Adagio's own fault for being so stubborn," said Aria, shaking her head. "Like I said, she may be a pain in the neck, but she's still our pain in the neck. It's not like we hate her."
"She sure feels that way, though," said Sonata. "We really should find a way to cheer her up."
"Sonata, we've been trying that for weeks now," Aria groaned. "She's not budging."
"But I don't wanna give up on her~," Sonata whined.
"That's not what I—" Aria sighed and pressed her fingers against her forehead. "Listen, we're not giving up on Adagio, alright? That was never an option to begin with. But as long as she's sore at us, I don't think anything we do is gonna get through to her."
"Well then, we just have to make her not sore at us," said Sonata, stroking her chin in thought. "But how? Hmm..."
"Careful, Sonata. You might end up straining something," Aria joked.
"Oh, ha ha," Sonata grumbled, still thinking. Suddenly, she perked up. "I've got it!"
As soon as those words left her lips, there was a dinging sound, and a lightbulb appeared over her head. Aria blinked.
"Uh, Sonata?" she said. "Look up."
Sonata obliged, stared at the bulb for a minute, and shrugged. "It's just a lightbulb floating over my head, Aria. What're you getting all excited abou— Yike!"
She jumped and tackled Aria into a hug just as she figured out what was going on. Aria groaned.
"Get off!" she grunted, pushing Sonata away. As she did so, she heard the sound of someone laughing. Looking up, she saw that it was coming from the lightbulb.
"Oh ho ho ho~! You girls really are fun to tease," said a familiar voice.
Sonata opened a tentative eye. "D-Discord?"
In a flash, the lightbulb disappeared, revealing the Master of Chaos himself.
"The one and only," he said, slithering between Aria and Sonata. He wrapped his arms around the two of them. "How are my favorite sea ponies doing?"
"H-hey, Discord," said Aria, giving him an odd look. "What exactly are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood," said Discord with a shrug. "Just wanted to see how you girls were doing before things go down in Equestria."
Sonata's eyes widened. "Something's gonna happen in Equestria?! What?!"
"Not a clue," Discord said with a shrug. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a strange device. The device whirred and beeped as he turned a knob on it. "All I know is that when I woke up this morning, my Cha-o-Nometer was going crazy. That's usually a good indication that something big is going down, and it's not going to be my fault." He tossed the device away, and it turned into a bird as soon as it hit the ground. "The point is I thought I'd drop in and get the latest from the human world before the fireworks in Equestria go off."
"Huh. Okay then," said Aria. "Well, whatever's going on in Equestria, you can count us out. We've kinda got our own problems at the moment."
Discord frowned. "Oh? What's wrong?"
"It's Adagio," said Sonata, rubbing her arm. "She's kinda mad at us because we're friends with the Rainbooms. She said we don't care about her anymore."
"Is that so?" Discord mused, shaking his head. "Tsk tsk. Poor Adagio Dazzle still hasn't discovered the magic of friendship, huh?"
Aria raised an eyebrow. "To be fair, I think most of this is your fault. When you made your little plan to have us make nice with the Rainbooms, you deliberately cut her out of it."
"She was trying to sabotage my friendship with Sunny," said Discord with a pout.
"Only because she didn't know what you were really planning," Aria countered. "If you just told her, maybe she wouldn't be like this."
Discord sighed. "Okay, I admit that I get a bit vindictive against people who hurt me, even when they didn't mean to. It's a problem I have, and I've been working on it. Just ask Tree Hugger."
Sonata blinked. "Who?"
"Never mind," said Discord, clearing his throat. "So, you girls want to prove to Adagio that you really care about her, eh?"
"Yeah," said Sonata with a nod. "Think you could help us— mmph!"
Aria covered Sonata's mouth and drew her close. "What the heck to you think you're doing?!" she hissed.
"C'mon, Aria! Discord's nice now!" Sonata whispered. "He helped us get our magic back, remember? That makes him our friend."
"What about that idea you had earlier?"
"I, uh, forgot what it was."
Aria let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course you did," she said. "But look, Discord might be our friend, but we don't know what he's gonna do. Doesn't that make you nervous?"
"A little, yeah. But do you have any better ideas?"
Aria opened her mouth, but she soon found that she had no retort. "You and your stupid flukes," she growled.
"You're just mad 'cause I'm right," Sonata gloated.
Aria sighed and looked over at Discord. "As much as I hate to admit it, Sonata has a point. We're kinda at the end of our rope with Adagio, and we wanna show her that she's still our friend. You got any ideas?"
Discord furrowed his brow and stroked his goatee. "Hmm. Let me see if I have the whole thing straight. You want it so that Adagio is a hundred percent sure that she can call you two true friends. True friends who would go to the ends of Equestria for her if need be. Am I getting this right?"
Aria and Sonata looked at each other and shared a shrug before turning back to Discord.
"Well, I wouldn't exactly go that far," said Aria. "But you've got the basic gist of it."
"I see," said Discord with a nod. He then pulled out a small booklet from thin air and began flipping through the pages. "Well, I think I have just the trick. It's a bit of an oldie, and truth be told, it didn't exactly work for me when I tried it. But considering the context, I do believe you girls will have better luck than I."
"That, doesn't sound promising," said Aria skeptically.
"Oh, and there's one last caveat I should mention," said Discord somberly. "None of you are going to like it."
Sonata tilted her head. "Wait, by none of us, do you mean me and Aria, or me, Aria, and Adagio?"
"What do you think he means, you dunce?" Aria said incredulously.
"Well, it's Discord. He could mean anything," Sonata protested.
"It's the latter, I'm afraid," said Discord. "But you know what they say. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And one thing I learned about friendship is that sometimes, you have to do things you really don't want to do." He then smirked. "In fact, that's a pretty crucial part of this little trick. So, what do you say, girls? Shall we give this a try?"
Aria bit her lip. "Well..."
"What the heck is that thing?!"
Sonata and Aria jumped and turned to see Flash Sentry staring up at Discord, a horrified expression on his face. Discord frowned.
"Well, this is awkward," he sighed. "Don't worry, girls. I'll handle this."
With a snap of his fingers, he teleported in front of Flash wearing a long brown cloak. Before Flash could say anything, Discord waved his paw in front of him.
"You did not see anything strange here," he said.
"I did not see anything strange here," Flash repeated blankly.
"You will go about your day like nothing happened," said Discord, waving his paw again.
"I will go about my day like nothing happened," Flash repeated.
"Be on your way."
"I'll, just be on my way."
Flash turned around and marched to his class. Discord breathed a sigh of relief.
"Right then. Where were we?" he said. As he turned around, he noticed one of the posters promoting the Friendship Games on the wall. "Hello. What's this?"
"Oh, it's just some stupid event that's happening tomorrow," said Aria apathetically. "Everyone else in the school is all psyched up about it, but I don't see the appeal."
"But we're still gonna give it a shot, right?!" said Sonata, a wide grin plastered on her face. "We gotta help our new friends win! And I bet it's gonna be lots of fun!"
Aria shrugged her shoulders. "Eh, it might be," she admitted. She then smirked. "Besides, thanks to our Equestrian magic, there's no way we're gonna lose."
Discord's eyes glistened. "Oh ho~. Now that really changes things," he said, twirling his goatee around his finger. "Now I really think this idea is perfect for you. It may not be pleasant, but I guarantee that Adagio will see you two in a different light if all goes according to plan. So, you game?"
Aria and Sonata looked at one another for a bit, each of them evaluating their options. Finally, Aria sighed.
"We might as well," she relented. "We can't think of anything else."
"Splendid, splendid," said Discord with a toothy grin. He then snapped his fingers, but nothing seemed to change. Sonata arched an eyebrow.
"What was that?" she asked.
"Just setting things in motion, my dear Sonata," said Discord slyly. "By this time tomorrow, Adagio is going to think you two are her best friends in the whole wide world. And if you're not satisfied, I'll throw in a totally separate favor at no extra cost."
Aria gave Discord a quizzical look. "But, we didn't pay you anything to begin with."
"Oh, I know," said Discord plainly. He then looked at his wrist, and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he saw the watch that miraculously materialized there. "Whoop! Look at the time! I'm almost going to miss the show! Well, it was nice seeing you girls. Do let me know how things work out with Adagio. Ta ta~."
With that, he snapped his fingers and summoned a red doghouse. He climbed up on top of it, donning a pair of flight goggle and a red scarf. The doghouse rumbled as though it had the engine of an airplane and suddenly took off into the air. With one final salute to the Sirens, Discord disappeared in a flash of light.
"Huh. Well, that happened," said Aria.
"I do hope Discord's right about Adagio. I really wanna help her out, y'know?" said Sonata. The two made their way to the school exit in silence. They were just about to leave when Sonata turned to Aria. "Say, what do you think he did, anyway?"
Aria sighed and shook her head. "I dunno, Sonata. But even if Discord is our friend, I've got a bad feeling about this..."
***
The next morning, Sonata jerked out of bed as soon as her alarm clock went off.
"It's time for the Friendship Games!" she cheered. Without even getting dressed, she dashed into Aria's room and shook her awake. "Aria, Aria! Wake up! We're gonna have so much fun today!"
Aria groaned and smacked her lips. "Anyone ever tell you that you're way too cheery in the morning, Sonata?" she grumbled.
Sonata calmed down a bit and blinked. "You do. Every day."
Aria rolled her eyes. "Ask a stupid question; get a stupid answer," she said, slowly shuffling out of bed. "C'mon, let's go get Adagio."
"I hope she's not too grumpy today," said Sonata.
"You and me both, but you know how she is," said Aria with a shrug.
The two of them went over to Adagio's room. Sonata was about to knock on the door when a fierce coughing fit echoed from the other side of the door.
"That doesn't sound good," said Sonata.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Aria said dryly. She then rapped her knuckles against the door. "Yo, Adagio. You okay in there?"
The only response she got was a loud sneeze.
"So, is that a yes or a no?" Sonata asked.
Aria smacked Sonata upside the head. "What do you think it is, Sonata? Sheesh." She then sighed. "Adagio, we're coming in."
She opened the door and walked inside, with Sonata right at her heels. What they saw completely took them by surprise. There was Adagio, nestled under the covers. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her nose was dripping snot. But most surprising of all, her completion had changed from a sunny yellow color to a sickly cerulean. Even her hands that gripped her quilt were blue.
"Holy guacamole! What happened to you?" Sonata exclaimed.
Adagio let out a moan and glared at Sonata. "Why do you care?" she spat.
"Adagio, don't do this," said Aria, shaking her head. "You're obviously sick."
"But she was fine yesterday," said Sonata, scratching her head. "Why did she get sick now?"
"I don't think you know how sicknesses work, Sonata," said Aria, rolling her eyes.
Adagio coughed and moaned. "T-typical," she wheezed. "Here I am suffering, and you idiots just stand around and make jokes. I can never count on you for anything."
"I see you've still got the strength to insult us," said Aria sardonically.
Adagio huffed and buried her head under the covers. "Just leave me alone like you always do. Have fun at your stupid Friendship Games."
Aria raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right?"
"No, I don't think she's kidding," said Sonata blankly. "But we should still take care of her, right? I mean, we can't just leave her like this."
"That's why I asked— Oh, never mind," said Aria, smacking her forehead. "It's apparent your grip on sarcasm is just as strong as ever."
"Why, thank you," said Sonata with a grin. "Now, I'll go make some nice, hot soup. You just rest easy, okay Dagi?"
Before Adagio could respond, Sonata dashed out of the room. Adagio gave Aria a blank look.
"Okay, what's going on here?" she asked with a cough.
Aria smirked. "Well, it's like Sonata said, Adagio. We're not just gonna leave you here like this. We're gonna get you whatever you need to make you comfortable, and then we'll let you rest here while we go to the Friendship Games."
Adagio sniffled. "You mean, you're not going to just leave me here?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Adagio paused to think about this for a while. Soon enough, her lips curled into a wry smile.
"Well, now that you mention it, my pillow could use some fluffing," she said.
"Sure thing, Adagio," said Aria, carefully approaching the bed. "Just, try not to cough on me, okay?"
Adagio didn't respond, but simply lifted her head to get Aria access to her pillow. Aria took the pillow and fluffed it a few times before putting it back.
"How's that?"
Adagio pressed her head against it and smiled. "Better." She then shivered. "Brrr~. I don't think these blankets are warm enough. Could you be a dear and get me some more?"
"Um, yeah. Whatever," said Aria.
She was about to leave when Sonata came back with a bowl of piping hot soup and a thermometer. Aria raised an eyebrow.
"That was, kinda quick," she said.
"Yeah, good thing this soup doesn't take long to make," said Sonata, handing Aria the bowl. "Here, you feed it to her. I'll take her temperature afterward."
"Uh, sure," said Aria. She brought the soup over to Adagio. "Here, Adagio. Sonata made you soup. This'll warm you up."
Adagio arched an eyebrow. "Wait, Sonata made this?"
"I'm sure it's not that bad," said Aria, although she didn't sound that confident herself. "C'mon, don't be fussy."
Adagio sighed and let out a cough. "Alright, alright."
Aria took a spoonful of soup and brought it to Adagio's lips. Adagio took one whiff of the broth and made a face. After fighting down her gag reflex, she allowed the spoon to enter her mouth. As soon as the flavor touched her tongue, and indescribable sensation overtook her.
"Mmmph~," she muttered. "Um, S-Sonata? Wh-what kind of soup is this?"
"It's my own special recipe," Sonata chirped. "Creme of Taco."
Adagio's eyes went wide. "C-Creme of what now?"
"Creme of Taco," Sonata repeated.
Adagio spat out the soup, spraying Aria's face.
"Blech~! Ick~! You braindead moron!" she sputtered. "What made you think that was a good idea?! I could've gotten sicker!"
Sonata hung her head. "Well, I eat tacos when I feel bad, and they make me feel better."
"Yeah, well, you're not Adagio," Aria growled, drying her face to the best of her ability. "Here, you take her temperature; I'll go make her some real soup."
Sonata looked up at a clock on the wall. "But, aren't we gonna miss the Friendship Games?"
"I'm sure Canterlot High will be just fine without us for a few hours," said Aria. "We just have to make sure Adagio's well enough to fend for herself, and then we can go to the Games. Okay?"
Sonata sighed. "Yeah, okay. After all, I'd feel awful if we just left Adagio all alone with no one to take care of her."
She traded places with Aria and stuck the thermometer in Adagio's mouth. In a matter of moments, the mercury shot up to astronomical levels, and Adagio began sweating.
"Oh my goodness! She's burning up!" Sonata cried. "Aria, go find an ice pack, quick!"
"On it!" said Aria with a curt nod.
Aria dashed out as Sonata pulled back Adagio's covers. In a matter of moments, Aria returned with the ice pack. The moment she placed it on Adagio's forehead, the mercury in the thermometer shrank down well below average. Adagio began shivering.
"D-d-d-do something!" she sputtered through chattering teeth.
"Oh dear, oh my," Sonata panted. "H-hang on, Dagi."
She took the ice pack off and placed the covers over Adagio's body. Once again, the thermometer read a boiling high temperature, and Adagio was sweating. Utterly baffled, Sonata took away the blankets and placed the ice pack on Adagio's forehead. The result was a freezing temperature. This continued back and forth for several iterations.
"What kind of weird disease is this?" said Aria, scratching her head.
Finally, the thermometer shattered from all the stress. Sonata began biting her nails.
"Oh gosh. Th-this is worse than we thought," she whimpered. "Adagio, if there's anything we can do, anything at all, just name it."
Adagio let out a cough before her lips curled into a thin smile. "Well..."
***
"Sonata~! These sheets are dirty!"
"Coming, Dagi!"
***
"Aria~! My tummy hurts!"
"Can't you get the medicine yourself?"
"No~!"
"Ugh, fine."
***
"Sonata~! I require music!"
"I-I'll go get my trumpet!"
***
"Aria~! I want a glass of water!"
"Didn't Sonata just give you a glass of water?"
"That was hot water for my tea. I want cold water."
"Alright, alright. Sheesh, picky picky."
***
"Sonata~! My pillow needs fluffing again!"
"Dagi, we're gonna miss the—"
"Oh, so you don't care about me?"
"I'll be right there."
***
"Aria~! My feet are sore."
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
"Give them a massage. Please~?"
"Ew! No! Why don't you get Sonata to do it?"
"No way! I'm not touching her feet!"
"Flip a coin for it?"
"You're on!"
"Okay, heads I win; tails you lose."
"I know the rules, Aria. Sheesh. I'm not an idiot. Just flip the coin."
"Done. Tails. You lose."
"Ugh. I can never win that game."
"Chop chop, Sonata! You want me to get better, don't you?"
***
All throughout the day, Sonata and Aria ran back and forth, catering to Adagio's every whim. Once the sun began to set, the two were exhausted. Sonata stood by Adagio's bed wearing a maid's outfit and holding a silver tray with piping hot chicken soup on it. Meanwhile, Aria was holding a large fan and fanning Adagio.
"Mmm~. Now this is nice," Adagio cooed.
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Aria growled through gritted teeth.
"We must've missed the Friendship Games by now," Sonata sighed. "I hope our team did okay."
Aria shrugged. "Meh, whatever. I wasn't too into the whole thing, anyway."
Adagio yawned. "Mmm. I think I'm about ready to turn in."
"Finally," Aria groaned, putting down the fan. "C'mon, Sonata. Let's get ourselves something to eat."
"Oh, but just one more thing."
Aria's eye twitched as she turned to look at Adagio. "What?"
"Thank you. For, taking care of me like this. Maybe I was wrong about you two."
Aria gave Adagio a half-smirk. "Well, we're your friends, Adagio. We always were."
"Yeah, I certainly see that now. Oh, and could you fetch me another glass of water, please?"
Aria flinched and let out a sigh. "Coming right up, Adagio," she said, forcing a smile. "C'mon, Sonata."
Sonata left the tray of soup to Adagio, and the two wandered into the bathroom. When they got there, they were surprised to see Discord sitting on the toilet and reading a newspaper. Sonata quickly averted her eyes.
"Omigosh omigosh, I'm so sorry," she said, blushing profusely.
"Oh, lighten up," said Aria, rolling her eyes. "He's not actually going to the bathroom."
"Well, you're no fun," said Discord with a pout, getting up from the toilet. "So, how was the Friendship Games?"
Sonata sighed. "We missed 'em. Adagio got sick, and we decided we should take care of her instead."
"Ah. How very noble of you," said Discord, engaging in a bit of origami. "It appears my Blue Flu has done the trick."
Aria blinked. "Wait, Blue Flu?"
"It's just a little disease I made up," said Discord. His newspaper swan then moved on its own and flew out of the bathroom. "I tried it out on Twilight and Cadence as a bit of a friendship test. It didn't work that well for me, but it seems it worked for you girls."
Sonata and Aria looked at each other before turning back to Discord.
"You mean, Adagio's not actually sick?" Aria asked.
"Not per se. But I'm sure she appreciates you two a lot more now," said Discord with a wink.
"He's kinda right," said Sonata with a shrug.
Aria paused for a moment before letting out a dry chuckle. "Well. Okay then. I guess this is what you meant by friendship meaning doing things you don't want to do."
"Exactly right. I'm glad you've caught on so quickly," said Discord. "Now don't worry, girls. Come tomorrow morning, Adagio should be right as rain. And with that, I must be off. Twilight should've sorted everything out in Equestria by now, so I'd better head back and hear the whole story. Ta ta, girls!"
With that, he flew over to the sink and forced himself down the drain.
"Well, that was an experience," said Aria. "At least Adagio knows now that we're still her friends, right Sonata?"
"Um, I guess," said Sonata. She appeared to be a bit preoccupied.
"What's wrong?" Aria inquired.
"Did Discord call that disease the Blue Flu?"
"Um, yeah. What about it?"
A worried look crossed Sonata's face. "Aria, do you think I have it?"
"Have what?"
"The Blue Flu. I mean, my skin's all blue..."
"Your skin's always blue."
"Yeah, but I'm kinda dizzy and sweaty."
"That's because we were taking care of Adagio all day."
"But now I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
"Oh, stop being such a hypochondriac."
"I don't know what that means! Is that a Blue Flu thing?! Oh no!"
"Sonata—"
But Sonata was already darting to her room. After a few seconds, she let out a whine.
"Aria~! Could I get a glass of water, too?"
Aria groaned and shook her head. "Here we go again," she grumbled.
Author's Note
Kept you waiting, huh? 
Well, you guys wanted a sequel to Reformation Buddies, and now you've got one. Or at least, you've got this shorter story while I iron out the kinks of the true sequel. What will that involve, you might ask? Oh, you'll see. 
I'm unsure of whether or not I should divide this into two parts, as while it is quite lengthy, the punchline is given away by the cover art. I wouldn't mind some advice on that front. 
