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Ponyville Town square, 11 hours till Summer Sun Celebration

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Fucking crazy rainbow bitch. Fucking crazy gods fucking around with the world.

I don't get it. I'm a dragon, so my senses are probably the best in the worlds. I can see, hear and smell better than almost any other pony.

'How did I trip on that rock? NO, wait. How did I not notice it? '

"Spike, you alright?" Twillight asked , stopping in her tracks. Touching, a part of me felt. Hypocrite, said the part of me who suffered broken bones weekly .

I was walking down the road with Twillight, listening to her complaining about her distended stomach, watching the invisible cloud with the sun guards, searching for the missing pegasus who was supposed to be clearing the clouds, just taking in the scenery. And the next thing I know I was kissing the ground again. For a few seconds I thought that my worst nightmares had finally come true. Wood, ground and pebbles were working together to make my life miserable. And then I realised......

'This rock wasn't here before.'

This wasn't a coincidence. Because just seconds later, I sensed something approaching Twillight.Fast. I think she sensed it too.

My instincts kicked in. I pushed Twillight out of the way , just before she cast a defensive spell.

The spell was good news for the pegasus, as she was still alive and well after the crash. However, Twillight had cast the spell for herself and the pegasus , not for me. The spell must have been a two part cyclic load-shedder, and without the second part of the spell (A.K.A Twillight), it had released the entire force on me, along with magical backlash. I felt several ribs crack , and heard the distinct sound of my pelvis being crushed. All in all, a moderately bad day. It took me about fifty seconds to recover.

"Oops. Heheh...? Sorry." The dancing rainbow apologised to me. What a stupid rainbow.

"Ouch." that I uttered after that crash may or may not have been just a gurgling sound.

"Nnnnnn." Twillight seemed to be in a muddy puddle. Better than a concussion, I guess. The crazy rainbow mare was talking to her too.

"Uhh huh... Here , lemme help you." She flew up and emptied an entire storm cloud on Twillight. She seemed like a good sort, even if she flew like Fleetfoot drunk off her ass. Twillight , however, wasn't very amused at being soaked through.

"Oops. Heheh...? Guess I overdid it?"

.........................................

"I stand by what I said. It does look kind of cute." I was half serious and half joking. Twillight looked just adorable with that poofy mane, and her reaction was quite funny too. Though an annoying pegasus destroying her mane may have been a bit too much. Rainbow Dash was good for an amateur flyer. Maybe I should recommend her to Soarin? Nah, better to just wait and see.

"Huumph!" Twillight was not in a good mood. Her stomach must still be aching from all the stuff she ate at the farm, her mane was pretty much dead, and she had done no productive research for hours.

'A first in eight years, since then.'

My mood soured instantly. I remember it clearly. A small purple filly,bruised and broken, shivering and trembling in a corner. She was covering her eyes, afraid of the bad things. Afraid of her father. Afraid of Shiny.Afraid of me.

'It's all in the past now.'

"Anyways, now we have to go check the Decorations. Somepony called Rarity should be looking after that."

'Rarity? I feel like I've heard that name somewhere before.'

We walked into the Townhall, to be greeted by tasteful yet grand decorations.

"Beautiful." I checked off Decorations from the list, and then I caught sight of a white unicorn.

" Yes, the décor is coming along nicely. This should be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed." I think Twillight said something, but my mind was focused on something else. Namely, the white unicorn in front of me

'Rarity......? RARITY!!! That dressmaker. I know about her........' In the depths of my black mind, something took form. A seed of a plan. An experiment.

I have connections. I know people. In eight years I have turned from a insignificant runt to the most powerful person on the planet. The personal Adviser of Celestia herself. But I have never tried planting a pony into high society. I have few airtight sources of information from the Noble's own society, all of them ought with blackmail, money or favors.

'Maybe I can use her for my first try?'

"How are my spines? Are they straight?" I must have been making a weird face ,or something because Twillight gave me an odd look, before walking up to Rarity.

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"Now, wasn't she just wonderful?" I could see potential here. This Rarity, she seemed to be perfect for this job. I would need to learn more about her, of course. Much, much more. But this could be done. This was possible.

"Focus, Casanova." Casanova? "What's next on the list?" I don't think Twilight enjoyed the corset experience, because she was getting a little snappy.

"Oh, right. Let's see .... music! It's the last one! It's by somepony called......." I shut up when I heard something inconceivable.

Birds were singing in rhythm. In rhythm. I'm not joking, and no, I wasn't drunk. Birds were singing in rhythm, and a pony was conducting them. A yellow pegasus pony was conducting them, and ........ wait, is she talking to them?

I'll have you know I'm not high either. No, the pony was talking to BIRDS and they were RESPONDING.

.

.

.

.

.

Now I've seen everything. It's a goddamn whisperer.

"Come on, Spike, let's go." Wait, they finished? Already?

"Yeah, okay." It was at that moment that she noticed me.

"Ooooh! Is that a baby dragon?" She flew towards me with small, delicate wing flaps. "I've never seen a baby dragon before. He's soooo cute!"

Did she just call me cute? Me?

"Umm, well....."

"Oh my, he talks. I didn't know dragons could talk. That's just so incredibly wonderful I..... I just don't even know what to say!" She took a breath, and started again before I could get a word in edgewise. "What's his name? Where did he come from? I have so many questions!!!"

"Well....., I'm Spike..... the Dragon..."

"Hello Spike, I'm Fluttershy. Oh, wow, a real talking dragon! What do Dragons talk about?" Before I could finish, the yellow pegasus got right up in my face. I could see a deep curiosity in her eyes, similar to that of Twillight's. But there was something else, a small flash of an energy, a source of power.

It piqued my interest.

"What do you want to know?" I gave her my best smile.

"Oh, EVERYTHING.......if that's okay?" Heh. What a cute little mare.

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" DAAAAAANNNCEEEE!!!!......"

To say Miss Pie knows her trade, is an understatement of epic proportions.I suppose this is why noise regulations are so lax in Ponyville.

Twilight doesn't seem to like it. Well, baby steps, I suppose. Everyone who is attending is harmless.

"Well then, I'll be off now."

"Yes, sir!" Lieutenant Rose stood at attention, ramrod straight. Without her armor, she was almost unrecognizable. Almost. One might even consider her an ordinary mare, if you discounted the heavy makeup covering the scars and fraying fur where the armor met the pelt. There was so much of it, infact , that she looked like a cream colored harlot.

For the purposes of self preservation, I won't let my opinion be known. Even with that pelt foundation, on closer inspection, muscles were still visible. Muscles that would make steel ropes blush in shame. This mare has broken a veteran minotaur phalanx by herself.

It's rare enough to see uninjured royal guards, but Celestia went one step further. She pulled Rose from the Armour regiment.

You won't hear me complaining.

Moving on.

I walked a fair distance from the tree-library thing. It's a bright night. The moon glows bright, and a little wind is blowing.

A perfect night to battle a god.

I spat out the package. A long staff of dragon fire, molded into a solid by skill and knowledge. A little favor from a recent friend.

Finally, I pulled out the parchment Trixie gave me. A careful teleportation spell. Whatever qualities the whore lacks, skill is not one of them, unfortunately.

"The Adviser of the Sun seeks passage."

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Staging area, Classified operation, 100 meters from Everfree Temple, Two hours till Summer Sun Celebration

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"Oooohh Shining Armor......"

Stab! The poster in her hooves gave way easily to the needle.

"You're sooo famous, dear. Every filly has you in their minds. Every mare has you in their secret dreams."

Stab! Hmmm, through the eye.

"I'm torn, Shiny. I hate you, I like you."

STAB!! STABSTAB!!! Neck and skull.

"No one knows my prince because of you...... Everyone looks up to you."

STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB!!!!!.......

"Miss Lulamoon, are you alright?" Flash asked.

Immediately, the needle took flight, shredding the recruitment poster. For a commonpony, the speed of the needle would have been a cause for alarm.

Flash Sentry was not a normal pony. As such, he his expression remained unchanged, a permanent smirk with lazy half closed eyes. His ceremonial guard armor lay beside him, as he adjusted the final straps on his Skirmisher armor. His spear lay beside him. He won't be using it today.

"Fine, I'm fine, Flash. Never better." The blue mare burnt the last pieces of the poster. She used friction instead of creating heat. Much more efficient.

Interesting

"By the way, where's the Adviser? Shouldn't he be here by now?"

"What, Spike? Oh, he'll be here. Don't you have to pray to your war god? Go do that, and leave me be."

A rude little mare. But that can be overlooked. Perhaps.

"Difficult as ever, Miss Lulamoon." The colt complied, however, and trotted to a corner of the sphere the mare had constructed to hide them from prying eyes. A very interesting cloak, it hid them well without taxing her abilities. Given her mana pool, she could keep this up for a day.

Another flash revealed a larger mare. My niece, Celestia. Six's predictions are on point, as is usual.

"Hello, Trixie, Flash. Sorry for the delay. That bastard from Rare held me up." She was not wearing her adornments. Instead she carried a box wrapped in cloth. A weapon? It is no secret that she wields a great Halberd. Further more, none of my spells can penetrate it. Perplexing.

No, magic cannot penetrate it. It's not a box. It's Vibranium. My Father's Vibranium. She is preparing for combat.

Combat that our Father, and her Grandfather specifically forbade.

Another flash. A green one this time. The Wyrm? So he is the mind behind this? Hmmm.

It is time for me to interfere.

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The Everfree Palace, same time

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"Kothai rohegache? Shomaya ney! Kono shomaya ney!" Ed knew that reverting to screeching in Bengali would make little difference to screeching in English, he didn't care.

"Pipe down, Uncle! I'm sure Spider-legs just got held up." Five called out.

He didn't stop scanning the six crystals. Each one had been changed at the molecular level to allow proper manipulation of the power they possessed. A spell driven not by will, but by design . It was not a very popular concept, to say the least. Without a mind to make subtle changes to a spell......

Let's just say that the saying 'Just because it can be done , doesn't mean that it should be done' would apply, especially in this particular case.

The Fifth Malfunction is not very fond of said saying.

"'Sides, everything else is ready. Or ,well, as ready as can be without Pa ... say, he really lost to that baby God?" It was a rhetorical question, conversation for conversation's sake to stifle his own misgivings. Regardless of how he carried himself, it was the life and security of his niece that was in question, after all.

"It was our....... my fault. Through the power of impossible coincidences, I distracted him at a bad time." The joke was in bad taste, but it was good see the old god had already come to terms with his mistake. He recovered within days instead of years.

"Anyways...... Libby sent down them arrays that we needed. Time predicts a 93% chance on this. And Big Brother's ready to channel anytime we need 'im. Fact is, I'd reckon that everything is as ready as it can be at this point. "

The gems floated back onto their pedestal. A small part of him couldn't help but wonder at the tools he had created. Each gem was assembled, molecule by molecule , in unnatural patterns that were supposedly impossible. Quartz, forcefully removed from the Pillar of Order, imbued with the six Emotional energies that make up the basis of Order. What he created to cure his niece, was it a tool?........

Or a weapon?

'I ain't no Philosopher. I'm a Smith. It ain't no concern of mine. The rest of him was quick to remind him.

Author's Note

This chapter is in honour of 'Pinkie is the Best Pony' , who is apparently "Tracking my ass". Not sure how I feel about that. Also, thanks to TheReclaimer for kicking my lazy ass into gear.