Helping Hand: Battle of the bands

Jake walked into Sugarcube corner after parking his bike. He made his way over to the couch the girls had selected for... Well, sitting. He sighed and looked around at everyone.

"So I guess you all have gotten comfortable by now." Jake said. The girls nodded.

"Um... Explain to me why he's here again." Twilight said to Sunset. Jake put a hand to his chest.

"OOH MAMA! Call the trauma unit, cause I just got burned!" Jake said. Twilight blushed.

"No no no no, I didn't mean it like that! I was just wondering why you weren't back at school with the others." Twilight said hastily.

"Sunset invited me, and everyone else has turned into a bunch of assholes. And I don't mean asshole like, prison anus asshole, I mean like, the jerk kind of asshole." Jake said.

"Okay then?" Twilight said, albeit unsure. Rarity inhaled.

"Oh I hate that you had to return in a time of crisis. We have so much catching up to do!" Rarity said excitedly.

"For instance, a special blue haired guitar player was just askin' about you." Applejack said. Twilight smiled.

"Flash Sentry was asking about me?!" She said, twirling her hair with her finger. She stopped when she realized that the others were staring at her. "Oh, how lovely." She said, and went back to sipping on her drink.

"Could you at least give us the slightest bit of gossip from your world?" Rarity she with a smile. Spike answered for her.

"She has her own title now." He said, and made a trumpet sound. "The princess of friendship!"

"Fancy." Jake said.

"Wow, that's really impressive." Sunset said. "I guess you really were Princess Celestia's prized pupil." Sunset said with a smile. Even though she was smiling, Jake could see that it hurt her to say it. He felt bad for her, and wanted to help brighten her up. But because of a bit of ADD, his attention snapped back to the conversation.

"She even has her own castle." Spike gloated. Rarity grabbed Twilight by the shirt collar and brung her closer, accidentally spilling a bit of Twilight's drink on it owner.

"A Castle! You have your own Castle?! uh?" She stopped after that. she cleared her throat and grabbed a napkin to get the chocolate shake off of Twilight's shirt. "I mean, ooh, how lovely." Rarity said as she cleaned Twilight's shirt. They sat in silence for a moment, before Twilight coughed to get Jake's attention.

"Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we've introduced ourselves. My name's Twilight." She said. Jake stood up straight, and deepened his voice.

"I go by many names, Thunder Lion," Sunset rolled her eyes. "Mountain slayer," Applejack smacked her forehead. "The Chocolate A-"

"His name is Jake." Sunset said. Jake looked over to Sunset with a blank expression.

"W-Why? Why you gotta ruin ma'h jokes man?" Jake asked. Sunset chuckled.

"I'm keeping you from leaving a bad first impression on Princess Twilight." Sunset said. "You'll thank me later." in case I didn't already tell you, Jake was standing behind Rainbow Dash's chair. So, when she turned to face him, she accidentally elbowed him in the balls.

"YOU HIT MA'H DICK!" Jake said in a high pitched voice, dropping to his knees at the same time.

Jake was now sitting in a chair with a cold milkshake tucked between his legs. He had a second milkshake that he was angrily slurping on. Sunset gave him a pat on the shoulder, but he didn't look over at her. Rainbow dash reached over to steal the cherry from the milkshake between Jake's legs, but Jake slapped her hand away. She rubbed her wrist, Jake glared at her.

"Mine." He said in a deep tone. He picked up the cherry and ate it before her eyes. She slumped back in her seat with her arms crossed.

"So, what's been going on around here? Other than dangerous magical creatures from Equestria." Twilight said. Rainbow reached into her boot.

"Uh, yeah, that's not the only thing that's happened since you left." She said, holding the phone out in front of Twilight and letting the video play. Once it ended, Rainbow clicked her phone off. "Pretty cool huh? It happens to all of us when we play!" She sat back in her chair with her arms behind her head, and her feet on the edge of the table.

"My crown was returned to Equestria, but some of its magic must have stayed here at Canterlot High. Now that I'm here, we can use that magic to defeat the sirens. Just like when we defeated Sunset Shimmer when she turned into that horrifyingly awful winged monster!" Twilight said, but then it hit her that Sunset was there and she wasn't like that anymore. "No offense." Sunset sighed.

"None taken. I'm used to it." She said. Jake stopped slurping on his drink and sucked in air.

"You all have got to work on that. I mean, do you all realize how rude it is, even if you say no offense?" Jake said. He quickly went back to slurping his milkshake, only to find he'd slurped down the last of it. He shrugged, put the cup on the table, retrieved the milkshake from his lap and began sucking it down.

"They'll never even know what hit 'em!" Rainbow dash said, and began mimicking martial arts moves. She threw kicks and punches, and even a hadouken in there. Applejack stopped her by catching her fist.

"We've got nothin' to worry about now that Twilight's back." Applejack said. Fluttershy sank in her seat.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I can find something to worry about." She said in a soft tone. "But it wont be the sirens!" She said slightly louder.

"The sooner we do this the better. Any idea where the Dazzlings might be?" Twilight asked. The girls shook their heads. Pinkie tapped Twilight on the shoulder to get her attention. She quickly slurped down her milkshake and let out a satisfied "ah".

"There's a big party tonight for all the Bands in the competition! That would include the Dazzlings!" Pinkie said, getting a bit of chocolate on her face. Twilight and the others smiled.

"Looks like we have a party to crash." Twilight said, wiping the chocolate off Pinkie's face.

"Oh good, I just finished my second milkshake anyway." Jake said. "If you don't mind, i'll be riding my bike back there. I do not feel like pushing that thing all the way back."

"Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh! Can I ride with you!?" Rainbow asked. Jake looked at her.

"Well since you hit me in the balls..." He started with a smiled. "No!" And finished with a serious look. Rainbow crossed her arms.

"I said I was sorry." She muttered.

"Tell that to my dick!" Jake shouted. Rainbow groaned and started to bend down. "Not literally!" Sunset tapped him on the shoulder.

C-Can I ride with you?" She asked a bit timidly.

"Sure, why not." Jake said. Rainbow gave him a look that screamed 'WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?'.