Helping Hand: Battle of the bands

by C T Lilly

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Equestria Girls, Comedy
Length: 3455

Meet Jake. He rides a motorcycle, he listens to rock, and he's currently late for school. But this may have just saved him.

Jake is in a bit of a rush, he forgot to set his alarm for school today. But fortunately he missed the first vocal assault lead by the Dazzlings, and now Sunset Shimmer and her friends need his help. But maybe they can help him through his identity crisis.

Rated teen due to some mild cursing on Jakes behalf.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-06 14:31:21 UTC

chapter 1

Jake rolled over in his bed, lining up the beams of sunlight shining through the curtains with his eyes. This made him jump, and rub his eyes. He sat on his bed for a few second, just trying to wake up. It wasn't too long before he took note of something strange. There was an abnormally large amount of light in the room. He checked his alarm clock, 11:30 AM.

"Fuuuuuuck." he jumped up out of bed and tried to run for the bathroom. keyword: tried. He fell two feet away from the bed. "shit." he mumbled. He quickly race to his feet and ran into the bathroom. He snatched up his toothbrush and put toothpaste on it. He quickly brushed his teeth, spit, and rinsed his mouth out. He grabbed his comb and began to comb his short brown hair. He made sure to get all of the knots out of his hair, and rushed back into his room. He grabbed a pair of blue jeans and started putting them on, almost losing his balance as he tried to get them up the last two inches. He didn't bother changing out of his white undershirt, he instead threw a grey leather jacket on and raced downstairs. He quickly put on his black boots, tying the laces tight.

"Oh man, I'm so late." he said to no one in particular. He snatched up a set of keys and ran outside. He jogged up to a grey Harley 48, sitting down and lifting the kickstand. He raced to put the key in the ignition. He clicked the key to a position and pressed the start up button on the handle bars. The bike turned over a few times before it gave out a roar, signifying that she was ready to go. Jake took off like lightning, racing to get to school.

At CHS, six girls were gathered around a statue. Their was Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Sunset Shimmer. They all seemed worried.

"I can't believe they got to Principal Celestia AND Vice Principal Luna too." Fluttershy said.

"They've gotten to everybody!" Rainbow dash said.

"Not everybody!" Pinkie Pie sung.

"Pinkie Pie's right. We were there when the Dazzlings were playin', but we weren't affected. It's like we were protected some how." Applejack said. Their thoughts were cut short by the loud exhaust of a bike coming toward the school. It was Jake and his motorcycle. He rushed to a stop, and cut the bikes engine off. He removed his helmet and grabbed the keys to his bike. He started jogging toward the school entrance, but changed course when he saw the girls by the statute. He rushed up to them.

"Hey Jake-" she was cut off when Jake grabbed her by the shoulders.

"I didn't miss lunch, did I?" he asked.

"Yeah, lunch ended fifteen minutes ago." Sunset said.

"Dammit! Now when am I going to eat?!" he asked himself.

"Sorry." Sunset said.

"Ah, it's not your fault. I forgot to set my alarm. anyway, did I miss anything?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, you missed a set of singing, magical girls that turned everyone against each other." Rainbow said.

"I was asking about school work, but I guess that works too."

"If only we could get a message to Twilight. Maybe she could tell us how to break the spell the Dazzlings have cast on our friends." Rarity said.

"Well that's not gonna happen, the portal's closed." she threw her ball against the statue. it hit directly above Rarity's head, making her accidentally draw a line of red nail polish up her arm. She gasped once she saw the offending mark. "And I get the feeling they don't exactly have Cellphones where she's from."

"I have and idea so crazy, it just might work." Jake said. He walked to the face of the statue that was looking toward the school. He gave two strong knocks of the surface. "Knock knock, you better open the fuck up!" he shouted. Sunset giggled.

"Yeah, I don't think that worked." she said.

"Eh, it was worth a shot. Plus i thought it would be funny." Jake said. Sunset tapped her chin a bit, before snapping her fingers.

"I know a way we can get a message to Princess Twilight!" she said.

The sound of screeching metal rang out through the air as Sunset's locker opened. She looked around at the materials inside, eventually finding what she was looking for. She reached out and grabbed the item, bringing it into the light. It was a dusty old book with a familiar Symbol on it. She turned to face her friends. "When I was Princess Celestia's student back in Equestria, she gave me this." Sunset dusted of the old book. "Even after I abandoned my studies, I held onto it. Deep down I guess I knew I was make a big mistake and I wanted to still have a way to reach out to her." She flipped through the book, stopping on an empty page. "Maybe it still works."

"That's a book darling. What do you mean "Maybe it still works"?" Rarity asked. Jake just sat and silently listened to the conversation.

"It used to be the if I wrote something here, It would appear in the pages of a book back in Princess Celestia's library." Sunset said, clutching the book to her chest. "I get a message to her, then she can get a message to Princess Twilight!" She said. Jake smile at her enthusiasm.

"So what are you Waiting for? Get to Writing!" Rainbow Dash said, holding a pen out to Sunset.

"A bit pushy aren't we?" Jake said.

"Oh. Jake darling I'm terribly sorry. I'd almost forgotten you were here." Rarity said. Jake sighed.

"You wouldn't be the first." Jake said. Sunset took the pen from Rainbow and sighed.

"It's been a long time since I've write these words." Sunset said. The other girls leaned closer, clearly excited to see what she would write. "Dear Princess Celestia..." She mumbled. Jake's stomach growled at him and he looked down at it.

"Stop FUCKING BARKING AT ME!" Jake shouted at his abdomen. Applejack chuckled.

"Here, this should ease your sufferin'." Applejack held out an apple. Jake gasped.

"You're a goddess." He said, quickly taking the apple. He bit into the apple and almost melted with the sweet taste. "OH YES! OH GOD THAT HITS THE SPOT!" He said, earning a series of laughs from the girls.

"Aren't you bein' a little over dramatic?" Applejack chuckled.

"Hey, there is a reason they say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Because dammit, it's true." Jake said. "we're like dogs. You feed us and we will view you as a god." He took another bite of the apple.

Chapter 2

Jake and the girls all sat around the portal, waiting for Twilight. They were all doing various things to pass the time. Pinkie and Applejack sat on top of the Wonder Colt's statue, playing Poker or some other card game. Dash sat tossing her ball back and forth between her hands, looking clearly bored out of her mind. Sunset sat quietly, just waiting. Rarity was doing Fluttershy's nails, And Jack was telling shitty jokes.

"Two guys walk into waffle house and sit in a booth. A waiter walks up to them and says "Hi, welcome to waffle house. what would you like today?". One of the two men speak up and ask "Do you got any blue waffles?". The waiter looks at him with a big smile and says "We used to, but your mom stopped working here."." Jake said. The girls didn't budge. Rainbow dash sighed.

"It's not really that funny dude." Rainbow dash said.

"Maybe you should try making jokes about what you see around you, darling." Rarity said, temporarily looking up from Fluttershy's nails.

"I tried that once. I ended up waddling my way into the ER with someone's foot up my ass." Jake said.

"You gave it your best shot. That counts for something." Sunset said with a smile. Jake smiled back, and Rainbow dash sighed.

"I'm starting to think she's not coming." Just as Rainbow dash finished her sentence, a figure came shooting out of the portal. The girls stood up with glee and shouted "Twilight!" before the figure groaned and turned around.

"I'm back." The she said. Sunset walked over with a smile. She offered to help her up, which made Twilight hesitant. But eventually she gave Sunset a smile and took her hand. Once she had gotten to her feet, the other girls ran up and gave her a group hug. A group hug that Jake realized that Sunset wasn't a part of. This concerned him a bit, but he didn't think much of it. After all, he had just met them all. The girls broke off their hug and Twilight's face grew a look of seriousness. "And I have some bad news about those new girls." She said. The other let out their own noise of frustration.

"We can talk about it at Sugarcube corner. Besides, I'm really in the mood for a smoothie right now. Sound like a plan?" the girls nodded in uniscene and Rainbow smiled. "Then come on! Let's get going!" Rainbow dash said as they all began to walk, Jake just sat there.

"I guess i'll just stay here and keep an eye on the Dazzlings." Jake said. Sunset turned around and smiled at him.

"Probably not the best idea. You might end up under their spell too." She said. "Come with us. I'm sure one extra wouldn't hurt." Sunset said. Jake smiled.

"Alright, I'm always in the mood for a chocolate milkshake." Jake said. "I'm paying for my own though. I don't like having others pay for my things when I have money to buy it myself."

"I'll keep that in mind." Sunset said. They started walking when Jake stopped and hit himself in the head over what he'd almost forgotten.

"Hold on, just let me grab my bike really quick." Jake said.

During the walk, Sunset frequently looked over at Jake, who was pushing the bike around by the handle bars. She was curious as to whether the bike was hard to push or not. After a few minutes of contemplation, she finally just got up the nerve and asked him.

"Isn't that thing kinda heavy? I mean, It looks like it would be hard to push." Sunset asked. Jake looked over at her.

"The bike itself is heavy, yeah. It weighs five hundred pounds. But it's resting on two, free coasting wheels. So it's not really that hard to push." Jake said. "Come here, you can feel for yourself." Sunset shrugged and approached the bike. "Just put your hands on the bars and lean your bodyweight forward." Jake said. Sunset nodded and followed his instructions. She began to push it forward, and realized he was right. The bike wasn't that hard to push.

"Huh? That's interesting." She said, letting Jake take over again. another wave of silence fell over them. They followed the group in relative silence, until Sunset decided to yet it yet again. "So... How's your life at home?" she asked. Jake sighed.

"Well, I mostly live alone. Except for my cat. My mom isn't home very often because of work, and my father left when I was young." Jake said.

"What does your mom do for a living?" Sunset asked.

"My mom works for a travel agency. She's the one who does the research for the travel brochures. So she often out of the country. But it pays well." Jake said.

"Do you know how to cook? Or do you just order out?" Sunset asked. Jake chuckled.

"I used to order out a lot. But I got tired of eating pizza and Chinese food, so I took a cooking class." Jake said. "My mother sent me some money a few months back, thinking that I was still taking the cooking course, which I had already finished. So I told her i'd already finished the course, and she just told me to use the money to get myself something nice. That's how this bike came to be."

"I was wondering about that. Out of the hundred of bikes out there, you chose this one. Why?" Sunset asked. Jake looked at her and her pupils grew small. "I didn't mean that to be rude! I was just... Curious is all." Jake chuckled.

"Relax, I know you weren't trying to be rude. I just like to make eye contact every so often so you don't think I'm bored with the conversation." Jake said. "To answer your question, i'd heard a few good things about this bike. I took one out on a test ride and I liked the feel, that combined with the constant positive feedback about the torque, and I was hooked. I bought one and the rest is history." Jake said.

"what does the torque feel like?" Sunset asked.

"Don't know, haven't tested it yet. I decided to break the engine in before getting on the throttle. I think it's pretty close to the end of the 500 mile break in period, actually." Jake said. The group finally came to Sugarcube corner. "Well, i'll just park my bike really quick. I'll meet you all inside." Jake said. Sunset nodded and stepped through the doors with her friends. As Jake was putting the side stand down, he mumbled something to himself.

"Man, she seems pretty high strung."

Chapter 3

Jake walked into Sugarcube corner after parking his bike. He made his way over to the couch the girls had selected for... Well, sitting. He sighed and looked around at everyone.

"So I guess you all have gotten comfortable by now." Jake said. The girls nodded.

"Um... Explain to me why he's here again." Twilight said to Sunset. Jake put a hand to his chest.

"OOH MAMA! Call the trauma unit, cause I just got burned!" Jake said. Twilight blushed.

"No no no no, I didn't mean it like that! I was just wondering why you weren't back at school with the others." Twilight said hastily.

"Sunset invited me, and everyone else has turned into a bunch of assholes. And I don't mean asshole like, prison anus asshole, I mean like, the jerk kind of asshole." Jake said.

"Okay then?" Twilight said, albeit unsure. Rarity inhaled.

"Oh I hate that you had to return in a time of crisis. We have so much catching up to do!" Rarity said excitedly.

"For instance, a special blue haired guitar player was just askin' about you." Applejack said. Twilight smiled.

"Flash Sentry was asking about me?!" She said, twirling her hair with her finger. She stopped when she realized that the others were staring at her. "Oh, how lovely." She said, and went back to sipping on her drink.

"Could you at least give us the slightest bit of gossip from your world?" Rarity she with a smile. Spike answered for her.

"She has her own title now." He said, and made a trumpet sound. "The princess of friendship!"

"Fancy." Jake said.

"Wow, that's really impressive." Sunset said. "I guess you really were Princess Celestia's prized pupil." Sunset said with a smile. Even though she was smiling, Jake could see that it hurt her to say it. He felt bad for her, and wanted to help brighten her up. But because of a bit of ADD, his attention snapped back to the conversation.

"She even has her own castle." Spike gloated. Rarity grabbed Twilight by the shirt collar and brung her closer, accidentally spilling a bit of Twilight's drink on it owner.

"A Castle! You have your own Castle?! uh?" She stopped after that. she cleared her throat and grabbed a napkin to get the chocolate shake off of Twilight's shirt. "I mean, ooh, how lovely." Rarity said as she cleaned Twilight's shirt. They sat in silence for a moment, before Twilight coughed to get Jake's attention.

"Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we've introduced ourselves. My name's Twilight." She said. Jake stood up straight, and deepened his voice.

"I go by many names, Thunder Lion," Sunset rolled her eyes. "Mountain slayer," Applejack smacked her forehead. "The Chocolate A-"

"His name is Jake." Sunset said. Jake looked over to Sunset with a blank expression.

"W-Why? Why you gotta ruin ma'h jokes man?" Jake asked. Sunset chuckled.

"I'm keeping you from leaving a bad first impression on Princess Twilight." Sunset said. "You'll thank me later." in case I didn't already tell you, Jake was standing behind Rainbow Dash's chair. So, when she turned to face him, she accidentally elbowed him in the balls.

"YOU HIT MA'H DICK!" Jake said in a high pitched voice, dropping to his knees at the same time.

Jake was now sitting in a chair with a cold milkshake tucked between his legs. He had a second milkshake that he was angrily slurping on. Sunset gave him a pat on the shoulder, but he didn't look over at her. Rainbow dash reached over to steal the cherry from the milkshake between Jake's legs, but Jake slapped her hand away. She rubbed her wrist, Jake glared at her.

"Mine." He said in a deep tone. He picked up the cherry and ate it before her eyes. She slumped back in her seat with her arms crossed.

"So, what's been going on around here? Other than dangerous magical creatures from Equestria." Twilight said. Rainbow reached into her boot.

"Uh, yeah, that's not the only thing that's happened since you left." She said, holding the phone out in front of Twilight and letting the video play. Once it ended, Rainbow clicked her phone off. "Pretty cool huh? It happens to all of us when we play!" She sat back in her chair with her arms behind her head, and her feet on the edge of the table.

"My crown was returned to Equestria, but some of its magic must have stayed here at Canterlot High. Now that I'm here, we can use that magic to defeat the sirens. Just like when we defeated Sunset Shimmer when she turned into that horrifyingly awful winged monster!" Twilight said, but then it hit her that Sunset was there and she wasn't like that anymore. "No offense." Sunset sighed.

"None taken. I'm used to it." She said. Jake stopped slurping on his drink and sucked in air.

"You all have got to work on that. I mean, do you all realize how rude it is, even if you say no offense?" Jake said. He quickly went back to slurping his milkshake, only to find he'd slurped down the last of it. He shrugged, put the cup on the table, retrieved the milkshake from his lap and began sucking it down.

"They'll never even know what hit 'em!" Rainbow dash said, and began mimicking martial arts moves. She threw kicks and punches, and even a hadouken in there. Applejack stopped her by catching her fist.

"We've got nothin' to worry about now that Twilight's back." Applejack said. Fluttershy sank in her seat.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I can find something to worry about." She said in a soft tone. "But it wont be the sirens!" She said slightly louder.

"The sooner we do this the better. Any idea where the Dazzlings might be?" Twilight asked. The girls shook their heads. Pinkie tapped Twilight on the shoulder to get her attention. She quickly slurped down her milkshake and let out a satisfied "ah".

"There's a big party tonight for all the Bands in the competition! That would include the Dazzlings!" Pinkie said, getting a bit of chocolate on her face. Twilight and the others smiled.

"Looks like we have a party to crash." Twilight said, wiping the chocolate off Pinkie's face.

"Oh good, I just finished my second milkshake anyway." Jake said. "If you don't mind, i'll be riding my bike back there. I do not feel like pushing that thing all the way back."

"Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh! Can I ride with you!?" Rainbow asked. Jake looked at her.

"Well since you hit me in the balls..." He started with a smiled. "No!" And finished with a serious look. Rainbow crossed her arms.

"I said I was sorry." She muttered.

"Tell that to my dick!" Jake shouted. Rainbow groaned and started to bend down. "Not literally!" Sunset tapped him on the shoulder.

C-Can I ride with you?" She asked a bit timidly.

"Sure, why not." Jake said. Rainbow gave him a look that screamed 'WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?'.