I yawned as I pulled myself out of sleep. I heard an alarm going off in my parents room right across the hall, signalling it was time to get mom up for work again. I barely even opened my eyes as I sat up and reached over the edge of my bed to grab and put on my pants. It's always been easy for me to get up quickly and act like I was never sleeping. In fact, I'm the only one who can wake up so easily in my family. Kinda crazy, how I'm the only outlier in a family of heavy sleepers, but it gives me something to do in the mornings. Like cooking breakfast for everyone.

With a yawn, I sit up and pass a glance to my tablet. I already know the time though. 8:30. Just past it is my little brother's bed. He's not there, though. He's already gone to school. He's only two grade levels under me, but depressingly, he's outdoing my every achievement. Honestly the only tallent I have that I can even remotely claim to be better at then him is cooking, because he never does it. I don't doubt he'll take even that from me once he starts. Thankfully, I'm a master of the art of not giving a shit. He could go and get into one of Jack Septic Eye's videos as a guest player and I wouldn't be jealous.

I stopped when I was about to get up, though. Something didn't quite feel right. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it... oh hey, look at that. I don't have fingers to put on anything. Just big black cheese legs. I stared at the limb I'd brought up to pull my beard thoughtfully with, yet I also noted I no longer had a beard either. After staring for another second, I reached up to my head to feel it, as well as my other cheesy leg under my crotch. I wanted to make absolutely sure I had all the functioning equipment.

"Woah, that's weird." I muttered when A: my twisted horn gave me pleasure from rubbing it, B: my horn had silky hair around it, C: I felt a sheath concealing my cock, and D: a pussy right behind that. I also blinked when I noticed the fact that I felt pleasure in the first place, considering I'm usually a cold fish. And my voice was another matter. Not only did my voice sound all buzzy and doubled like Chrysalis's voice, it even sounded like her voice.

At this point, I was getting pretty suspicious about what I'd become. Or rather, who I'd become. "Testing, testing, all hail the Queen." I tested my voice. Yep. It really was the monster Queen's voice. I only had one thing to say about this. "Cool. Guess I have shape shifting magic now."

I slid the rest of the way off my bed, leaving my pants on the floor and walking on all fours. Thankfully since I owned a special quadrupedal fur-suit from my time as a rather enthusiastic furry raver, I already knew how to walk on all fours, only this time my body was built for it. Just a side note, but I was only just a furry for one year before I met My Little Pony five years ago.

Once I was on my hooves, I trotted out to the kitchen to start making my mom some breakfast. I stopped when I remembered that I was now the cheese-leg queen and no longer owned a pair of hands. "Damnit." I sighed. Then I had a thought based on fanfictions I liked. "Hey, bug Queen. You in here? I need a tutorial on shapeshifting." I demanded of my inner conciousness. Nothing happened though. Either I insulted her, or she's not there. As much as I hope it's the first one, bets are all on the second. Either way, I guess I'd have to make due with learning by trial and error, and maybe blow something up. Heh. Maybe I'd vaporize the wall and accidentally catch a neighbor doing it.

Long story short, I used my vast knowledge some people could use as evidence of my borderline obsession for the show to determine that emotion is key, focus is the catalyst, and imagination is the ingredient. Of course I ended up blowing up a bag of cerial, but thankfully there wasn't any more than a bowl's worth left in it. Good news is that I learned how to use the destructo bolt.

Once I learned telekinesis, with the help of frustration, I settled for it and started to work on making breakfast. I decided to make an egg-sausage-cheese sandwitch, since I didn't trust mysealf with making pacakes in this new body. I'll have to do that tomorrow when I learn how to change. In the meantime, I think it's time to freak out my parents.

"What the fuck?!" Speaking of, there's my dad, standing in the doorway to his bedroom. I'm pretty sure he was just going to the bathroom, before he caught sight of me. However, getting caught like this got my less than innocent mind working as I smiled widely.

"Hello. My name is Queen Chrysalis, and I rule over my own little hive of changelings. Wanna fuck?" I asked bluntly enough to be a sledgehammer. Not that I would fuck him. He's my dad after all, and he's not into incest. Dad responded in the only way he could to that question. He threw up his hands, turned around, and said quite clearly, "fuck this shit, I'm out." I watched him go with an amused grin that I'm sure looked evil. "What? Too forward?" I asked him, knowing full well that comedy routine would need to end when he came back to deal with me.

I decided to carry on with my morning routine afterwards, and followed him into his room. "Sorry for the shock, dad. Just got a new body this morning, and it's got one hell of a libido." I said as I grabbed my mom's glass and took it with me to the kitchen, where I promptly popped open a can of diet cola and poured it over a glass of ice. Dad didn't respond, likely too shocked to do anything after such a thorough breaking of his percieved reality. A couple times I tried out a few theories on how transformation worked, but none of them were right. Ah well, guess I'll figure it out later. It's not important right now.

Carefully, I levitated mom's sandwich and drink with me, surprised at how easy it was for me. No doubt I'd find it difficult if I tried to lift anything more, though. I took them with me into mom's room and set her breakfast on the small fold-up table that was her bedside table. Once it was all ready, I reached up and shook her awake.

"Hey mom, I gotcha breakfast." I spoke in a soft voice so as not to bring her crashing into the waking world. Her eyes fluttered open as she muttered an 'okay' before she started moving into a position to sit up, grabbing a remote from her table and pressing the "position 2" button, making the bed silently groan as it adjusted. Content that mom would be waking up soon, I made to leave, but I froze when I heard her say the dreaded three words.

"What the fuck?!" I sighed as I looked back at her.

"Just relax, mom. I only woke up as a shapeshifting bug pony that eats emotions. Trust me, you'll be seeing my usual face by the time I get back." I told her. Her jaw dropped.

"Arkane?! How the fuck can you be so casual about this?!" She asked, her voice cracking with the stress I could sense she felt.

"I'm going to give you the same answer I gave to Life, the Universe, and Everything:" I replied, starting with the lines I knew would prove without a shadow of a doubt that I was still me. "I don't give a shit. Just like Life, I'll take things as they come." Then I started to leave again. "If you need me, I'll be practicing my transformation magic in the living room." I promised her on my way out. I could sense her stress starting to lessen for a bit, before with the sound of air being sucked from an e-cig, it plumeted to more managable levels. I smiled as she calmed down. It would have really distracted me if her stress levels were that high. I didn't like the taste of it. It was like onions. Finally, I got back to experimenting with my magic. I knew it was going to be a while before I got it right. These things are only easy in fanfictions because those authors are just writing some stupid wish fulfillment crap. The reality is, if Twilight always felt the need to study to cast many of her spells right, then obviously magic must be something difficult and dangerous. As I started my horn to try out this next spell I thought of, I pushed my fears back. I needed to learn how to shapeshift, regardless of whether or not I blew myself up in the process.

"AAAAAAAH! WHY THE HELL IS QUEEN CHRYSALIS IN MY HOUSE!?" I had to duck and cover to prevent my ears from popping at my little sister's freak out.

"AAAAAAAH! WHY THE HELL ARE WE YELLING!?" I screamed back. I only noticed after the fact that I had used Pinkie Pie's voice to answer her. I smiled as I sensed my mom's sort of releif. It felt like the kind of releif you'd accompany with an eye roll and facepalm, while noting that some things never change. I knew this because I'd felt it myself before.

"......Who are you and what have you done with the bug queen?" My sister demanded. I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"I'm your brother. And I just sorta woke up like this." I answered.

"Brother?" She asked, no doubt confused by that claim. I nodded and opened my mouth to explain, but then she got a devious look. "Hey. You sure you're still my brother?" she asked. Oh, this is too perfect. I gave an evil smile of my own as I answeted.

"Yeah, perfectly sure. I still have a dick." I replied. "I'd show you, but you're still too pure." Her face scrunched up with disgust, and she groaned, running to hide in the bathroom. I giggled in a playfully mennacing way. "You will fall to the corruption of lust one of these days, dear sister. I really wish you'd let go of that worthless purity sooner." Somehow, having chrysalis's voice made that sound scarry genuine. I didn't like that. I needed to figure out how to sound playfully sarcastic with this voice. And maybe learn some changeling magic. Magic is awesome.

Once again, I went back to my main focus of learning how to transform. Finally, with no interruptions blowing my focus out of the water, I finally felt my magic's flow. There wasn't very much of it. At all. I guess I'd need to do an active feeding or something to get any more than I had, but I wasn't about to do that to my family. Maybe I could be a prostitute? I could do that without risking my identity, maybe even fulfill a few fetishes in the process. Hive knows how much love that would give me.

Did I just use a changeling-ism? Huh. Maybe Queen Cheeseleg is in here after all. Wonder when she'll wake up. My guess is she would very likely disaprove of being anything but a dominatrix in sex. And she might insist on only using sex for breeding purposes, and expanding the hive or something. But me? Well, I have a lot of fetishes I can finally try out! And like hell I'm gonna pass on a chance to bring some of them to life.

Something rumbling in my gut distracts me from my mental tirade. I can feel something filling up in there... Could it be my eggs? I guess I gotta put them in someone. They must be reacting to me getting horny. Yeah, that settles it. I need to head out and fuck someone the second my homework is done.

Ugh... homework. The one thing not even this new body will let me escape. I thought. Well, technically that wasn't true, I could pull some kind of act that made it look like chrysalis was taking over or something, but it's too much hastle and the consequences I'm sure would not be worth it. So I was just left with having to do it. I couldn't do it well if I couldn't use my changeling magic though. I needed to shapeshift if I wanted to be efficient.

[Well, are you going to play with my magic, or are you going to sit there and monologue like a villain all day?] a familiar voice cut into my thoughts. I froze, my eyes going wide. Then, slowly, a smile lit up my face.

Queen Cheeseleg! I mentally cheered for her. She groaned, and I felt my muscles twitch as she tried to facehoof.

[Of all the people to get stuck with... You know, those holes in our legs are a sign of starvation and malnutrition, right?] she asked irritably.

Sure I do! I just don't give a shit. But hey, all joking asside, could you teach me how to shapeshift, Chrysalis? I'd appreciate knowing how, and the sooner I know, the sooner we can get out and start building a hive.

Chrysalis sighed. [Fine. But don't expect me to teach you anything beyond that.] she grudgingly agreed. I smirked in response.

Don't worry. It's the only skill I'll really need. I cockily assured, scenario's allready running through my head. I could feel Chrysalis pale at some of them in "This kid's going to get me killed" fear and a "Holy shit, that is brutal" admiration. Once I'd cleared my mind of fantasies, we got to work. Soon, I would learn how to change.

Author's Note

Hello, and welcome to the pilot episode of "I Am a Bug." Today, we learned that the main character is pretty much a walking bag of horndog, and Chrysalis hates him. Should I make this chapter longer?