Author's Note

I can't believe you people wanted this, but just know that you brought this upon yourselves. The reason this took so long is because I was away and couldn't find time to write, and because I'm lazy as fuck. Arrivederci assholes.( Just kidding I love you all please don't hurt me. )

Life Is But A Meme

Leaves blew softly across the cemetery as the wind made a faint howling in the distance. Two figures stood above a lone tombstone at the top of the hill.

"Well shit." Dan said. Looking at the tombstone in front of him, his companion just nodded in agreement. Etched in the headstone read " R.I.P John Zebra. He was a stupid meme with nothing left and got shrek'd." After looking it over, Dan turned to his long time best friend, Braeburn. "Um, so I killed him? I can't really remember anything after my meme form took over." Braeburn looked back to Dan and responded.

"Ah reckon, but ah don't remember much myself. It's like some lazy ass writer just decided to skip the rest of the fight scene because he sucks at writing fights." Braeburn looked up at the sky and glared harshly at it.

"Hey! Don't look at me." Came a voice from the heavens. "I don't get paid enough for this shit, and besides, I was going to make Dan and you have sweaty gay sex on top of John Zebra's corpse. But then I realized my viewers are just here for the memes and not the plot anyway." Braeburn shouted back up at the sky.

"Y'all ain't gettin' payed anyway! Also could you please add in that sex scene? Ah want me some of that monkey dick." Dan kneeled over and started gagging.

"Um, yeah I think I'm gonna go now. This is getting really weird and knowing myself, it'll probably get a lot weirder. May the memes be with you." With his final goodbye, the author's voice went silent. Some wonder where he went, some think he now fights for justice as Deadpool. Others say he's tipping his fedora to hentai in his mom's basement. Perhaps we will never know the truth.

"I need a drink." Mumbled Dan after recovering from Braeburn's words. "Let's go to Berry Punch's place, she better have some Fireball or I'm gonna smack that bitch." Braeburn had no arguments, as he wanted to get Dan as drunk as possible so he could cop a feel. With that sexually perverted thought, he followed Dan to Berry Punch's. On the way to Berry's cottage, Dan busied himself by playing Angry Birds on his Iphone and cursing loudly whenever a pig would laugh at him. As they passed the schoolhouse, Dan let out a particularity loud line of curses. "FUCK! THESE STUPID ASS FUCKING DIPSHIT PIGS NEVER FUCKING LEARN! I'M GONNA COOK THESE FUCKERS INTO BACON BITS AND FORCE FEED THEM TO CELESTIA!" Braeburn took a nervous glance back and saw Cheerilee angrily watching them from a window, he forced out a small chuckle and smacked Dan's Iphone out of his hands.

"Sorry bout' that Miss Cheerilee,y'know how humans are!" He coughed awkwardly and started pushing Dan further away from the schoolhouse. As they faded into the distance, Cheerilee let out a sigh of relief and clapped her hooves together.

"Now class! Return to what you were doing." The children all let out defeated sighs and got back to sewing clothes for Miss Cheerilee.

"Miss Cheerilee?" A young colt raised his hand. "When can we go home?" Cheerilee let out a musical laugh and pulled a whip out of her drawer.

"Why ever would you want to leave? It seems somepony needs another lesson on not to question your teacher" Ponies said they could hear bloodcurdling screams from the direction of the schoolhouse this morning. Nopony reported it, however, because in ponyville. Nopony gives a shit.

"Hey Dan?" Braeburn turned his head to look at his bipedal friend. "Ya'think Berry will let us in? She seemed mighty upset that you pissed in her little sister's bed while singing, maybe we 'oughta come back some other time when she's cooled down. Dan laughed as he remembered that time, it seemed like it was only yesterday. Because it was. After Dan beat John Zebra, he had a party at Berry's place to celebrate. It started to get a little crazy after Dan started drinking bleach from under the sink and shouting "hey guys, Look! I'm Amanda Todd!" A couple ponies even died of alcohol poisoning, among the dead was, Steven Magnet, Bon Bon, The Big Lebowski and Shining armor. At their funeral Dan gave a drunken speech about each of them and proceeded to pass out on one of the coffins.

"Yeah that was a hell of a Sunday. But, I'm sure she'll be fine with me barging in and drinking all her imported liquor. I mean she owes me after I got that stalker away from her."

"B-but that was Shia Lebouf! And he was just signing an autograph for her! You just came up behind him in a drunken stupor and stabbed him in the back." Braeburn looked down at the ground and facehoofed. "We didn't even bury him, he just threw him in the trash with the rest of the old memes." Dan laughed again.

"You worry too much dude, watch it'll be fine" They reached Berry's front door and Dan knocked. They didn't need to wait long, as Berry opened the door almost immediately. She didn't seem pleased to see them. "Hey Berry!" Dan started to take a step inside but paused and stepped back when he saw what Berry was holding. "H-h-ey now, Berry let's all just be cool. Nobody has to get hurt here, let's all just calm down." Braeburn also saw what she had, and started shaking in fear.

"D-dan's right, y'all don't need to do this! Please, we're sorry!" Berry looked on with dead eyes and did the unthinkable.

She posted her Undertale shipping fanfiction online.

"NOOOOO! You idiot! You've doomed us all!" Dans shouted at her. "Now we have to sit through all the Undertale trash. Thanks a lot Berry.

Dan sat on the ground, defeated. "How could you Berry? How could you?

To Be Continued. (If anyone wants to see more of this trash that is.)
(Also I don't hate Undertale. But the fans can get annoying so the ending is just a playful jab at them. Don't get your panties in a twist.)