Apple Hogger

by Towkio

Rating: teen
Tags: Cranky Doodle Donkey, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Fluttershy, Equestria Girls, Sex, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 2743

Norman buys an apple toy for his girlfriend Flutterbat

Flutterbat orders a salad meal where her boyfriend Normal Norman works, despite her not having any money. He decides to pay for it, when she eats the plate by herself she's thoroughly disspaointed that it didn't come with a toy and begs for her money back, despite her not paying for it, after Cranky Doodle makes a fake toy. Normal Norman is very excited, but Flutterbat decides to hog it for herself.

Note: This is the parody of the Spongebob episode: Yours Mine and Mine

Published 2016-01-09 21:20:10 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-09 21:20:10 UTC

I can't tell if this is Domestic Abuse or not?

Maud Pie stood behind the register at the Green And Eats Restaurant in downtown Canterlot, it was another new year for the restaurant which was operated by Cranky Doodle. Maud sighed and gave Flutterbat a look of utter boredness, she asked the question again. "May I take your order?"

Flutterbat looked at the salad menu and fluttered her wings in curiosity, ever since Normal Norman introduced her to the green chewy goodness in the first few weeks when they were dating, she had become quite accustomed to eating salad at his home, but things are different. She decided that she going eat at his workplace.

"I have a question about the happy chicken salad meal, is it bite size cute or adorably cute, because there are preferences, is it better than the regular salads?" Flutterbat said staring at Maud with a puzzled look on her face.

Maud narrowed her eyes and groaned quietly, "It’s adorably cute..."

"Psssssssssst..." Norman whispered from behind the kitchen, "Flutterbat. Get the Cranky Salad kiddie Meal, see?" He then presented her with examples for the entrees. "A regular salad here, and here's the Cranky Salad Kiddy Cutie Meal here, 50 percent more cuter. And it only costs four dollars more," Norman stated with a happy look on his face.

Flutterbat widened her eyes in excitement, "Yeah, I want that!" She clapped her hands very excitedly, Maud Pie just looked on, being employee of the month for six straight months would bring some charisma to being the cashier.

"Coming right up!" Norman said as he darted off to his kitchen quarters. He wiped his hands on his tan colored apron which he has tied over his old Christmas shirt that he always likes to wear for good lunch. He began to hastily peel the freshly washed lettuce. When he was finished with that, he moved on to the chicken. His movements were relaxed as he cut cooked chicken and placed them into a wooden bowl that he made from home, he began to mix more ingredients and within a few minutes he was finished. He brought out a small plate and beautifully spread the lettuce on top of it, with all toppings placed above, slowly crafting the ranch skillfully as possible. He constructed a the ranch to look like a heart to show his love for her.

“Tada!” He said as he went out to present the dish to Flutterbat, who licked her lips in anticipation for the small feast. Then Maud Pie announced the bill.

"That will be 6.95," Maud said simply, Flutterbat sighed and conjured up her wallet.

"Is this enough?" Flutterbat asked very kindly, she had a few bat coins that were on her palm, Maud gave her a plain expression.

"No," She said, blinking her eyes twice, Flutterbat's jaw dropped.

"Awww what!"

"Sorry Flutters..." Normal Norman said bummed out.

"B-but, thats all the all the money I have!" Flutterbat's lip started to quiver, Norman eyes widened, he knew what this meant. She then burst out sobbing and fluttering her wings wildly. This caused other customers to look at her awkwardly, trying their best to ignore her.

"Um, don't worry Flutterbat. I'll... I'll... Wait!" Norman then snapped his fingers with a brilliant sense of thinking, "I have an idea. I can buy the salad, and then we can share it."

Flutterbat wiped her tears, "R-really."

Norman nodded happily "Sure, you see. Sharing is the most amazing thing you can do for your significant othe-"

"Yeah yeah yeah Norman," Flutterbat then reached her hands inside his pocket, grabbing his wallet and grabbing seven dollars without any guilt, "I understand the valuable concept of sharing." She gave it the currency to Maud Pie and she pressed the cash register, signaling an order has been made. Within a few minutes Flutterbat sat down at a counter while Norman was busy sweeping up the floor.

"Sharing is fun!" Flutterbat gleefully said while eating her healthy kiddie meal, "Sharing is soo delicious!" She said taking a bite of the green goodness, "Right Normy?"

Norman giggled at his girlfriend's enthusiasm by his food that he prepared just for her. "You said it!" He said very enthusiastically. Flutterbat nodded and continued to munch happily, she was a few bites away.

"A-are you to save some for me Flutters?" Norman questioned politely, he stopped sweeping to look at her, by the time he uttered those words, she was completely finished with her plate, licking her lips in satisfaction.

"Huh?" Flutterbat said in a dumbfound.

"Oh um nothing..." Norman said, but deep down he really wanted her to share the salad with him.

"Hey!" Flutterbat then looked under the plate and even under the table, "Where's my toy!" She ordered, Norman looked at her confused.

"Oh it doesn't come with a toy Flutterbat, my boss said that it's too expensive for him..." Norman said.

Flutterbat hissed loudly and pushed the finished plated aside, "What? That’s a ripoff, I want my money back!" Flutterbat crossed her arms and pouted like a child, even though she didn't really use her money, she was upset and demanded that action be taken against this travesty.

Meanwhile Mr. Cranky Doodle was in his personal office quarters filing papers when he heard ruckus and the disgusting words of money back, he never wanted to lose revenue no matter what. He ran out of his office and observed the scene that unfolded.

"Whats all the hullabaloo!" He questioned Norman, but Flutterbat spoke first very ticked off.

"My kiddie meal didn't come with a toy!" She hissed, her eyes turned more red than usual. Mr. Doodle rubbed his chin, "Hmmm, and you want to advance to the toy bundle, is that right?" She questioned the pink bat, Flutterbat nodded her head quickly.

Norman pulled Cranky Doodle aside and formed a 'huddle formation' "Mr. Doodle we don't have any toys," Norman argued quietly so Flutterbat wouldn't hear their discussion.

"Or really, he then went back to the kitchen and began to search for a toy, he ransacked Norman's perfectly aligned cupboard that he spent hours organization. When nothing showed up it looked like he was about to give up, when all of a sudden he found a shiny apple on top of the fridge, and he remembered that Norman had googly eyes under the compartment of his break desk, which gave him a swell idea. He grabbed the apple and googly eyes and began to craft, squirting two dots of glue and placing the eyes on them, holding it so it can dry in a faster time. He then saw a straw rack and stabbed the side of the apple with the two drinking instruments.

"Here ya go," Cranky Doodle presented the apple to both of them.

Norman almost fainted in pure excitement, "An official Green And Eats licensed toy?" He looked as though he was planning on having a heart attack he eyed the apple with such intense passion, "My life has been completed," He whispered, Cranky Doodle looked disgusted and whisked the toy a few inches away from his lips.

"Creep," he coughed up. He then went back to normal. Yep, its pretty unique alright, and it can be yours for only..." Norman didn't care about the price. He could sell his soul to Flutterbat's mom for all he cared. He then reached into his pocket and grabbed a forty dollars out. Causing Cranky Doodle to widen his eyes, with forty dollars he could buy those new penny loafers he's always been needing.

"Hey c-cute mama...." Cranky Doodle flirtatiously purred, he reached his hand to grab the money first before he gave Norman the toy. Doodle sprinted to his office and hung a do not disturb sign. He was going to be there for a long period of time...

Norman gave the small fun-sized object a passionate hug full of love, "I love you official licensed Green And Eats Restaurant Toy, he pondered at what he just said, "No too bland, oh wait a minute" he snapped his fingers in eureka. "I'll name you... Apple Pal." he giggled and danced around the restaurant without any shame, even scaring some of the paying customers who just wanted peace.

Flutterbat had seen enough and crossed her arms under her breast, oh I'm sorry Norman I'm I interrupting you," she said while she gritted her teeth, she didn't like the whole escapade that Norman was putting on.

"Oh hi Flutters, have you met my new toy." Norman boasted.

"Don't you mean our new toy." Flutterbat said, as she snobbishly puts bet nose in the air.

"Our new toy." Norman asked very confused, Flutterbat shook her head and scoffed at his incompetence.

"Psh, remember... Sharing is the most wonderful thing you can for your significant other, like reading poorly written fanfictions on the internet" she mocked. "Remember those words Norman?" She asked him in a rather serious tone.

"I didn't say that," he said in a poor tone. "But I guess we can share Apple Pal," Norman handed the toy over. Flutterbat smiled and hastily snatched it from his hands, she giggled while looking at the delicious silly apple.

"Now is it my turn?" Norman asked politely, his arms stretched out to reach the toy.

"Wha, I thought we were sharing it?" Flutterbat said, glaring at her boyfriend.

"When is it going to be my turn." Norman asked, he was tapping his feet impatiently.

"Don't you have to clean up the toilet or something?" Flutterbat rudely said, Cranky Doodle peeped one eye out and saw Norman standing there staring into space, even though he was begging for a turn, he turned around and saw Cranky Doodle giving him a heated scowl, he quickly shuddered in fear and grabbed his gloves for toilet cleaning while Flutterbat eyed the toy.

"Heh heh, of course." Norman nervously said while going to the bathroom.

Time went by and Norman's shift ended, Cranky Doodle locked his store and left, leaving Flutterbat and Norman together while Maud Pie walked home with her pet rock.

"Now is it my turn?" Norman asked.

"Nope," Flutterbat then walked back to her cave in the outskirts of town, with an irritated Norman following her. When they arrived to her he asked the her again, hoping for something to happen.

"Can I please play with Apple Pal?" Norman went down on his knees begging her, he couldn't believe he was doing such a thing to appease her.

"Umm, maybe tomorrow." Flutterbat simply said, Norman sighed.

"Goodnight Apple Pal." Norman reached his hands to hold it.

"Don't touch him! Say goodbye Apple Pal."

"Goodbye Norman." Apple Pal said, even though it was Flutterbat who mimicked his voice.

"Goodbye..." Norman quietly said, he sighed and then walked out of the cave and headed to Canterlot City, his head drooped down as he went into apartment room and changed into his pajamas.

"Poor Flutters, she's only got the toy for tonight, and then it'll be mine all mine all day tomorrow," Norman snickered before going to bed meanwhile Flutterbat and her bat companion Lucifer were having a party with Apple Pal, the trio was dancing non-stop in her room and having a great time.

The sun shines through Norman's window indicating that it was time to get up. He jumped out of bed and stretched with joy and ease, "Yes! Today is my Apple Pal day!"

He quickly turned on the shower and sang his favorite shower tune. After he was finished he wore his regular attire and headed straight for the door, he went to her cave and knocked on her door, he could have sworn he heard loud music coming from within.

"Good Morning Flutterbat, it's my turn to play with the toy!" Norman said yelling, the music stopped when it heard his voice, he heard Flutterbat gasp.

"Ummm, Flutterbat is not home right now, come back another time!" She said nervously.

"Flutters its me, Norman, come on out it's my turn to play with the toy!" Norman was losing patience by the second.

Flutterbat conjured up a bat in front of him, "I need some I.D."

Norman reached inside his wallet and grabbed his Canterlot University lunch card, the bat took it and gave it took her. "Looks fake to me, bye bye now."

He growled by then thought of an idea. "Well I might as well go now... I'm walking away..." Norman was tapping his feet and making them quiet, and even more quiet, he then hid behind her home.

"I'm gone now..." He whispered.

"Are you sure?" Flutterbat asked confused.

"Pretty sure..." Norman's voice dimmed, Flutterbat opened the door and floated slowly to the entrance of her cave.

"Hi Flutterbat! TIME TO SHARE!" Norman screamed with a smirk on his face.

"You fibber, you didn't leave!" She hissed.

"It's my turn!" Norman growled as he pounced toward her.

"It's not fair, you're such a meanie. You better leave me alone with Apple Pal or else..." Flutterbat hissed.

"Or else what!"

Flutterbat's expression turned sinister as she whispered in his ear, "I'll scream rape, and my bats will attack you."

Norman shuddered, he grabbed the Apple toy softly "How about we trade every hour."

"Nuh-uh,"

"Every half hour."

"Nuh-huh!"

"Every fifteen minutes!"

"Nuh-huh!" Flutterbat hissed that Norman could hear the cave behind them echo.

"Alright my final offer is every second!" He took the toy and observed it.

"One!" Flutterbat took the toy.

"One!" Norman screamed and took the toy away, Flutterbat winced.

"ONE!" She took the toy and Fluttered her wings to Canterlot City, Norman exploded and followed her quickly to where she was going, he chased her around for many hours trying to locate her, after a while he finally caught a glimpse of her heading to the restaurant, he dashed off and met her with a scowl on her face.

"It's mine!" Norman screamed.

"Mine!" Flutterbat retorted, they pulled on the apple so much that she had enough, she needed to end the madness.

"IF I CAN'T HAVE IT, NO ONE CAN!" She then did the unthinkable, she ate Apple Toy, chewing it with delight. When she finished she let out a huge sigh.

"NOOOOOOO!" Norman screamed, Cranky Doodle came out.

"Whats going on in here!” Cranky saw the two. “Oh buck, not you two..."

"It's our Apple Toy Mr. Doodle, and Flutterbat ate it so I wouldn't play with it," Norman whined.

"Norman won't let me play with it..." Flutterbat countered.

"Y-you TOY EATER!"

"Tattletale!" Flutterbat hissed violently.

"Whoa whoa break it up, all this fighting is over a toy, you two are a couple. You shouldn't let a little toy get between you guys." Cranky Doodle said, it was as if he was playing a relationship counselor of some sort, Norman looked at Flutterbat and lowered his gaze and his temper, Flutterbat looked at Norman with a little bit of guilt.

"Cranky Doodle is right Norman, I didn't mean for things to escalate like this. It was pretty mean not to share with my boyfriend, especially the one who paid for my meal." Flutterbat whispered, the whole restaurant was listening to their conversation.

Norman sighed, and connected his hands with hers. "I'm sorry if I was a little too mean or antsy on you, you deserve the best that Canterlot can give you." He nuzzled his nose on hers, she blushed and nuzzled her nose back.

"Can I have huggies?" Flutterbat said stretching her arms, Norman shook his head, the whole room gasped. Instead Norman grabbed her cheek and pulled her into a kiss, she kissed back softly on his lips, everyone in the room awed at their embrace.

"Alright break it up you too, don't get it on my lemon scented floor..." Cranky Doodle sighed. "And since you guys seemed so thrilled with the toy, I made an entire box of them, they've been selling like Caesar Salads. You guys can have one each, but it will cost you $12.50 each..." He ordered, reaching his hand out.

"This time it's on me," She then reached her hand in Norman's pocket and grabbed enough dollars to cover the expense.

"Flutters that's my money?" Norman said confused.

"Have you learned nothing about sharing with your girlfriend..."

Author's Note

Soooo this is a little bit rushed by I had to get it off my mind, thx for reading XD