The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie

The Standard and Normal Human 2

After we headed out of Appleloosa, we travelled on the dusty roads following old signs to our next destination, Dodge Junction. This however, would turn out to be quite a long trip. Now for the sake of consistency, I have left out minor details in the story and they are as follows.

1. Bathroom breaks, you don’t really want to know about this now do you?

2. Sitting in the back of the wagon doing Nothing!

Seriously, this would be quite pointless and it would ruin the flow of the story I am recollecting.

Anyway, after hours of travel it began to turn dark, I had absolutely no idea where we were at the time. “We’ll stop here” Trixie announced suddenly, stopping the wagon the second she said it. All she could hear behind her was a thud, then shortly after that a certain human moaning.

“Ach! My-” I shouted in pain as I was laying on the floor. When she stopped the wagon suddenly, I had just decided to get up and stretch my legs. The sudden stop caused me to fall flat on my face, meaning I had just whacked my nose on the wooden floor. “Ugh, can you give me a heads up Before you do that please...”

“Oh, um, sorry?” Trixie answered, sounding unsure as to what had just happened in the back. “I’ve decided we’re stopping for the night right here!”

I clambered to my feet and made my way to the front of the wagon, a small door was in between the where I was and wanted to be, I opened it and clambered through it to the front of the wagon where Trixie was. I was pinching my nose in pain, trying to stop it from bleeding.

Trixie took one look at me and looked quite distressed, “ Oh my! How in Equestria did you do that?”

“Oh I don’t know” I began to say sarcastically, “It could have been a dragon, or it might have been the second you stopped the wagon... Which sounds more likely?”

“...Oh... So that’s why you asked me to give you a ‘heads up’, sorry about that...” She replied, smiling to look just a little more innocent.

I’m too much of a nice person sometimes, I saw that face of hers and I couldn’t find it in myself to hold it against her. “Ugh, it’s fine...” I stopped moaning about my nose and eventually looked around at our immediate surroundings, in the distance was a canyon which was where we were eventually going to head through. Where we were that very moment however was in a desert next to an oasis, which was pretty useful because I could at least clean myself up. “Right, I’ll be back to help out with the camp in a moment...” I jumped down from the wagon onto the rocky and sand filled ground, then made my way to the Oasis.

It was a short walk, I could see cactuses and heaps of sand everywhere. Ever tried describing a desert? Its not so easy when its looks so simple, the oasis was nice at least. It had its own coconut tree hanging over the pool providing some shade, it was a typical style setting which we’ve all seen at least once somewhere. When I arrived I realised that using this fresh, clean water to clean myself up would turn it bloody and dark. I settled for a leaf from the tree and allowed the oasis to glisten as it was doing, it was calm and peaceful... For a while at least...

“Nick!” Trixie barked, I turned around and saw her in the distance. “What’s taking so long?”

“I’m just admiring the view, I’ve never been in a desert before!... Or an oasis for that matter!” I shouted back, slowly realising that as the sun was lowering it was getting much cooler, I could see my breath before long and realised why she was shouting for me. “I’m on my way!”

I ran back and could see her struggling with something, it looked like a tent attached to the wagon. Where the stage should be was a pull down style attachment, it reminded me of the tent you would use for camping. ‘It would look like a nice little home by the time we were finished’ I thought, so we got to work. I was using sticks to pin the tent into the ground so that it wouldn’t fly away, Trixie was inside making everything feel like home. By the end it looked pretty good, I made my way inside by carefully going under the tent and into the wagon. To my surprise I had my own bed, well kind of anyway. It was a sleeping bag on the floor, better than nothing right? I basically had the tent and she had her changing room which, as it turned out, was also her own room. Imagine, her own room, in a wagon, with a tent attached. To her? It was home sweet home. As for me? Home-Ception... We both retired for the night and headed for our own rooms, it was ironic really. I hate camping, yet I was doing just fine where I was back then. I got changed into my spare clothes and I began to think of my own world, what I would be doing right that moment and what I’d be doing during the week... Yep, I’d be doing absolutely nothing... I eventually got into the sleeping bag and fell asleep, awaiting the morning suns heat to wake me up...

It turned to morning and I’ll tell you right now, the heat was ridiculous! I clambered out of my sleeping bag and changed into my normal clothes, followed by stretching my arms until they clicked. Then I heard the most distressing and unnerving sound coming from below me, no it wasn’t a creature, it was my stomach. I didn’t eat anything the day before, let alone having breakfast when I woke up. In fact, what on earth do ponies eat? Well their herbivores right? Either that or vegan, I’ve not seen a pony eat anything meat based so I wasn’t so worried about looking like a meal to somepony. Other creatures however I’m still not too sure about, if I had seen a dragon or a lion, what would happen? I hadn’t encountered them yet so I wasn’t very fussed, actually I think I was relieved. That still left me with my immediate problem, what in Equestria could I eat? Did Trixie have a stock of food in her wagon? All these thoughts and questions went through my mind, well until I remembered the coconut tree near the oasis. I immediately slid under the tent and began walking towards the soon to be food source, the heat outside was immense!

I climbed the tree carefully and grabbed a couple of coconuts, then headed back to the wagon. I entered my portable room and stared at them with intent... But I didn’t know how to open them without a machete... “Hmm, I didn’t think that far ahead... Again...” I muttered to myself, now searching for something to smash it open. I did look at some of the props with eager eyes, but I was pretty sure Trixie would beat me to a pulp with the coconuts if I had tried. At this point I wasn’t even sure of what Trixie was doing, my attention was completely fixated on the food I had gathered. I returned outside to find a sharp rock or something to bash it open, I must have wandered around for about 10 minutes looking for a rock when I realised that the oasis probably had some near it. So I ventured back again to the oasis, got a quick drink and then returned to my room with a rock. At this point I was knackered, or tired if you don’t know what that means.

“What in Equestria are you doing?” I heard Trixie say across the room, she was sitting at a dinner table... With a bowl of fruit in front of her, “Did... Did you go out there to get food?”

My stomach churned the moment she uttered those words, staring at the delicious fruit I whimpered, “...maybe” I looked over to a certain cupboard in the corner of the room, it read as clear as day ‘Food’, I was gob smacked that I completely missed it, “... Seriously? Ugh whatever... Time to eat some coconut...”

Trixie just looked at me, then at the bowl of fruit, “But, there’s food right here...”

“I walked through the boiling heat for this meal...” I began, “And i’ll be darned if I’m not going to eat it!”

I bashed the coconut open and, it within minutes, I had eaten the every bit I could.  I was starving! I’d never had a coconut fresh before and I implore you to try it, it was delicious! After breakfast, we began packing up the tent and all the other oddities like tableware, bedding and all that kind of stuff. We successfully packed everything away and we were off! I headed into the back to catch the shade, the heat was exhausting. Trixie had a hat on so she wasn’t fussy, she just lifted the wagon and we were off.

I wasn’t sure what to make of the rest of the trip to good old Dodge Junction, I mean I was in the back with very little to do, for around 3 or 4 hours... I did find a ball back there though so it wasn’t all bad, you ever seen ‘Chicken Run?’ Where the main character is in the ‘Box’, she starts throwing the ball against the wall and it comes back towards her, then she rinses and repeats. I did that for what seemed like an eternity, it was pretty quiet except from the silent thud of the ball and the creaky wooden wheels turning. I was quite surprised Trixie wasn’t taking a break or stopping somewhere, it must have been pretty tiring lifting all that stuff and moving it. I wasn’t even sure where we was, I was too lazy to look out the side window to find out... I doubt it would have helped anyway, I didn’t really know the ‘Lay of the Land’, plus I’ve not seen an official map of Equestria so I had no idea about the distance between the towns, city's and landmarks we were passing... I don’t like not knowing where I am, so instead of worrying about something so pointless, I grabbed my bag of clothes and used it as a pillow, I got comfy and then I nodded off... To be quite honest, at this point I was pretty sure that I was either going mad or that this was one heck of a dream. Not to mention that I fell asleep in the so called dream and then started dreaming... Dream-ception?

Anyway, I began dreaming a crazy world where me and Trixie were big shot magicians! Red carpets, ponies from all over Equestria coming to witness the amazing tricks we had in store for them. It jump cut to me doing handstands and then walking on my hands, suddenly, something flings me forward and then backwards... It may have been a dream but that actually happened, I was rudely awakened as I was flung forward onto the floor then back again to the wall I was sitting against, banging my head in the process as the carriage stopped awkwardly at an angle.

“Ach, again seriously?!” I shouted, “Trix? What happened?!” There was no answer, I could hear scurrying outside and the sound of a certain ponies voice being muffled. I knew something was going on...

I Got up from the floor and climbed out the window, it was the first time I had been outside since Appleloosa and it was bright, blinding in fact! The sun decided to shine hang directly over the middle of the canyon we were travelling through, the shade of the orange tinted rocks reminded me of that fake spray tan you can get. Oh I’ve seen people wear that stuff and let me tell you, it's hilarious! I went off on a tangent right? Anyway, there were many rocks which seemed almost as if they were placed as obstacles. I wasn’t sure what was happening but I had a hunch, the floor had paw prints pushed into the dust filled floor, there were two different sizes at least, but at the same time there were three trails. I wasn’t sure of the danger they posed but I wasn’t going unprepared, I jumped back into the carriage and rummaged around for something I could use. I grabbed one of the sticks used to lock the wheels from moving, it wasn’t that big so I could carry it easily, it she was taken away I’d need to sneak In and get her back. I grabbed the ball I was using earlier and took it with me.

“It would make a good distraction...” I muttered to myself...

I returned back outside rather quickly and I looked around my immediate area for signs of Trixie, but I couldn’t see her anywhere... But I could hear movement in the distance, the tracks made it easier to trace their movements too. I followed this winding path for about 5 minutes, until I found a cave, it was quite a big one at that. There was a sign placed outside in the ground, seemed to have been forced through the ground as there were cracks circling around it.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie Demands you release her!” I heard somepony say, ‘Oh I wonder who that could be?’ I thought... Want to play guess who? I bet I’ll win in 10 seconds flat...

“Stop shouting!” A gravely voice said, “We want you to find us gems, you’re going to help us whether you like it or not so stop complaining!”

I felt a surge of deja vu as I swear I’d heard something not too different to this before, eventually my brain finally clicked and It seemed quite obvious who the perpetrators were. “The Diamond Dogs huh?” I said to myself quietly, I looked back at the sign and laughed to myself whilst repeating what it said, “Keep Owt! Oh of course it's them... The spelling is terrible...”

I was about to enter the cave and then had a revelation, when I first arrived in this world I was acting just a bit too... Goofy. I adapted to everything way too fast and didn’t think about how it made me look. Considering these guys were quite dangerous, I’d need to be cautious and think straight... ‘Ok, don’t do anything stupid’ I thought, ‘I don’t want to seem crazy...’

I slowly made my way into the deep cave, it was incredible! The walls were lined with tiny gems of all different colours, if it wasn’t for trying to save Trixie I would have taken a couple as a souvenir. There weren't any guards in sight, so I figured it was just those three dogs in the area... The cave eventually opened up into quite a large dome like structure, prison cells were lining the sides all the way around... It looked pretty grim, I started scanning the area for Trixie's whereabouts. Ironically, her annoying voice of the third person gave her position away... Again...

“Unhand me you disgusting dogs!” She bellowed, her voice echoed throughout the cave.

“Silence I said!” That same gravely voice shouted, “You're ‘Great and Powerful’, with you searching for us we’ll be rich!”

“We sure will boss!” Said a different voice, it sounded a lot deeper and... Fatter...

Why fatter? Why the heck not?! Besides if you saw this dog you would understand why I said it, he was fat... And short.

“And then we can buy loads of food!” The same voice said... Or so I thought.

“Or more signs!” It was the same voice again, ‘Wait, is this guy talking to himself?’ I thought, it was pretty weird.

The two voices argued further and then the ringleader broke the two voices up, “Enough you two! We have important matters to attend to, You! Get to work!”

It was now or never, it was three against one in my mind. Carefully walking closer to the voice, I lurked around the corner and I could see them all clear as day, even though this tunnel was quite large it was still going to be tricky to get Trixie away from them. Oh yeah, it would be a good time to point out that these three were not the same as the ones who took Rarity, same creatures, just based in a different location. I was getting ever closer to the small group by carefully keeping to the wall. Unfortunately, I wasn’t watching my foot work and so I snagged a pickaxe, it hit the ground with a thud...

“Ach crap!” I whispered, unfortunately my voice decided to echo as well thus ruining the stealth element I was going for. So I decided a different approach was necessary, “Oooooooo I’m a Ghost! I’m gonna haunt you Ohhhhhhhh”

You remember I said about not doing anything stupid or careless? Well, I really couldn’t be bothered with that plan at this point. I mean these aren't very friendly or socialistic creatures, so I didn’t have to worry much about them spreading rumours about me, anypony would more than likely run in fear of them anyway... Not that they would even attempt to tell others about me but still, you get what I mean.

“Who’s there?!” The Ringleader shouted, “Rex, Ken, go find our... Guest...”

“Sure thing boss!” The Twins said at exactly the same time, I’m not joking either, they were identical down to the bone.

Imagine if you will a sausage dog, now make it slightly shorter and fatter. Then make it stand on its hind legs, now give it a dark blue coat of fur and brown eyes. Then there’s the leader, pure white fur, think of a mini Sasquatch except a lot thinner and bonnier, with a scar on the left side of his face going across his eye and a red hat of some kind, it was clear he was in charge. I realised it was only a matter of time before I was found out, so dropped the stick on the floor and hid the ball behind my back. I don’t think I even described the ball did I? Its just a red ball with bits of glitter in it to make it more eye catching, nothing special.

I slowly walked around the corner with my hands behind my head, “Ok, you found me...” I said to them, they just stared at me weirdly for a moment trying to figure out what on Equestria I was. “W-what? Is something on my face?”

“Is... Is that a dog?” Ken barked, he walked over to me and circled me... Then started sniffing me, “Nope, he can’t be...”

“Then what is he?” Rex asked, also starting to circle me in the opposite direction. They were still circling me, they eventually bumped into each other due to their attention being elsewhere.

The ringleader wasn’t interested in what I was, he was only concerned with one thing... “What are you here for?” He shouted across the room, seething at me. Clearly I was making him feel uncomfortable, “This is Our Territory!”

“Oh I didn’t mean to intrude...” I began, “...Until you kidnapped Miss Trixie over there, I suggest you give her back...”

“Ha ha! Or What!?” The Leader snarled at me, I was hoping he would just give her back but alas, it wasn’t happening...

I replied using one of my favourite movie quotes, meaning I had to say it in a french accent. “...Or I shall taunt you a second time!” Oh I do love Monty Python... Unfortunately it didn’t get the joke, well duh right?

I began to think of a plan, or try to at least. It was still three against one, Trixie was hiding behind a mine cart she wasn’t connected to yet. So at least if we had to make a break for it it wasn’t going be difficult for her to get away, that just left me with the immediate issue... What the heck was I supposed to do now? Luckily, Rex answered that very question for me... Thus hilarity ensued shortly after...

“What’s that object in his hand? It looks... Shiny...” Rex muttered to his twin, they came closer and I stopped hiding it behind my back.

“Oh, this?” I showed them, still confused what on earth they were thinking.

Ok, time for another tangent, this one however is more related to the whole situation.... Let me begin...

Many years ago, my grandparents had a dog. Now it used to chase us around the garden the very second you used to run away from it, not to mention if you threw a ball anywhere it would chase it with delight... Oh and can you see where I’m going with this yet? When I finally figured it out I wanted to laugh so damned much, I just wore a cheeky grin on my face and let my silly self just go nuts.

Using my ‘Dog Voice’ I uttered the following words, “You want the ball? You want the ball?” I swear to you right now their eyes widened in such a way it was as if they were fixated on one thing... The shiny red ball, they totally were as well... They started drooling and wagging their tails, the ringleader was clueless as to what the two were doing.

“What are you buffoons doing?!” The leader screamed, as I moved the ball left and right, watching their eager eyes follow it with intent and wonder. I was having a blast!

I threw the ball to an empty corner of the room and shouted, “Fetch!” They chased after it like earth dogs, it was adorable and hilarious. I was in stitches, laughing ones posterior off like a true champ. They got the ball and began to argue over who brought it back, when they did I just did the same thing. This happened another 3 times, Trixie was watching me like I was crazy... Again.

They had retrieved the ball for the 4th time, this time however would be the last time I threw it, I held the ball in my hand and then looked towards Trixie, still hiding behind cover but peeking enough to see me. “Trixie!” I shouted across the mine, that got her attention. She nodded at me with confirmation that she heard me, with a smirk I raised my hand to make it seem like I was throwing the ball to the same location.

As I was about to throw it I shouted, “Run!” I suddenly changed trajectory and turned towards the ringleader, his face suddenly became more serious as he knew what I was planning. As I threw it his two subordinates charged after the ball, it was a work of pure genius.

“What!? No Wait!” He shouted but it was too late, they knocked their leader to the ground.

I turned to Trixie now running towards me and barked, “C’mon Lets bolt!”

“I couldn’t agree more!” Trixie replied with relief, we were dashing through the mines back to the entrance following the path we took when we arrived. She was just in front of me, leading the way.

She turned around briefly to ask me a question, “How did you know that would work?!”

“What? Using the ball? I didn’t, it was however pretty funny no?” I responded with a smile, panting as I did it however.

Running and talking like we were was taking a lot of air from my lungs. I’m not exactly very fit but I’m not unfit either, it's more of a balance between the two. The only other excuse I’ve got is that she has four legs and I have two, her weight is more spread out whereas mine is all sent to the legs. I never asked her this question, asking a girl in our world about her weight is a quick way to get slapped, so I would imagine a hoof to the face in this one, which would be a hell of a lot worse.

She giggled to herself before responding, “It was most entertaining...”

We eventually made our way outside, I stopped and turned to look behind me. They were gaining... Fast! I turned around and kept on running, eventually we had finally made it to the wagon and Trixie got to work, I jumped in the front next to her. Behind where I sat was a small doorway leading into the back of wagon so I wasn’t worried about hiding myself if necessary, she lifted the front half of the wagon and began to spin the wheels rapidly. It began to move rather suddenly and I fell backwards over the seat as a result, it didn’t hurt and I was laughing so it was all good. I quickly got back up and leaned over the right side of the wagon, looking back at the dogs who had just given up chasing us...

“See ya later Topaz Terriers!” I blurted out, I removed my hat and waved it above my head. “If I see you again, remind me to give you guys a bone!”

“Do you have to?” Trixie quizzed me, it sounded rather serious but her face was still smiling with delight.

I nodded and sat back down beside her and got comfy, “Of course I do, it makes myself and others happy...” I replied with a smile, “Besides, I think they deserve a couple more taunts... But we’ve got places to be so it can wait for now...”

I looked forwards into the distance but we were still in the canyon, I would have loved to see the giant mountains and wicked landscapes.

“So... How far is it to Dodge?” I pondered out loud gazing up at the sky, it was as clear as the sea, not a single cloud was in sight anywhere.

“Another hour yet, you should probably get some sleep... It would make the trip go a lot quicker...” Trixie replied.

I sat there wondering if I should go into the back and just chill out for a while, but something was bothering me. I still knew very little about her, I figured It about time I got some answers.

“Nah I’m good, I think I’d rather just talk...”

Her ears perked up, she slowly turned her head towards me. “Talk? About what?”

“Well you for starters” I began, “I met you yesterday and yet I still know next to nothing about you... Yet we’ve been travelling for several hours now and we haven’t really had a chance to talk. Like about your past, family, friends and all that good stuff...”

Trixie’s eye twitched and then she closed both of them. “Well, you know that I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!” She boasted, “Surely this is all you need to know!”

And Just like that she had reverted back to the old Trixie I remember from the show, It seemed pretty strange considering we had just escaped from some mine, then made a break for the wagon and then rubbed the dogs failure in their faces whilst laughing and joking with each other. I was ever so slightly confused, so I carried on trying to extract any kind of information.

“No, that’s not what I meant... I want to know about ‘You’, not your stage persona...”

“But my ‘Persona’ on stage and who I am now are one and the same!” She protested, “What would talking about Trixie accomplish? Everypony Knows how great I am!”

“It would help me understand ‘You’ better as a Perso- I mean Pony...” I tried to get her to give me some kind of answer but she just shot me down. “Like what town was you brought up in? Or maybe it was a city?”

There was a short silence, a pause between her listening to the question and then the response she gave. “... That kind of information is private and I would like to keep it that way human...”

‘Hang on... Is... Is she avoiding the question!?” I asked myself, “Wh-why? Was it a rough place to be bought up or something? Perhaps it was other ponie-”

“Enough!” Trixie shouted, she sounded a lot more stern than before. “... Please, just stop...”

Not only did she not want to talk about it, but just trying to touch the subject seemed to rub her the wrong way. I backed off immediately, “...ok, I’ll stop...” I muttered, I leaned back and realised that sitting where I was just got a lot more uncomfortable. Eventually, it got the better of me and I had to bail. “I’m heading to the back, wake me when we’re there...”

I didn’t get a response... Plus I felt I made her feel uncomfortable, because of this fact I didn’t get a wink of sleep...

Eventually we had finally arrived at our destination, Dodge Junction. I peeked out of the window carefully, to make sure I wasn’t seen, so I could see what it was like. It was a small town but let me tell ya, it was busy. Picture Appleloosa, now shrink it down in size slightly and... Wait, hang on. If you’ve seen the episode where pinkie shouts ‘You Pinkie Promised!’ Which had me in stitches by the way, then this explanation seems kind of pointless, it was busy anyway... I guess that's why Trixie decided to head there next...

She pulled over into an empty corner of the town, people looked and stared at the wagon with wonder. It was more colourful than anything in the town, so it's understandable why it made heads turn as it rolled in. I was about to get out of the wagon and help prepare the stage, but the second I went near the door...

“Wait!” Trixie implored, “Your the main attraction! If you go out there now you’ll spoil the show!”

‘Strange way to put it...’ I said in the back of my head, then again if I had walked out there I would have scared everypony... Just like when I arrived...“Ok, you're the boss... I’ll just practice some moves for now...”

“Moves?” Well that got her attention, “What did you have in mind?”

Pacing back and forth, I began to go over several ideas in my head, then blurted them out without thinking. “Well, handstands, juggling, dancing, cartwheels, I have a few tricks up my sleeves...” I said with a smile, even though I couldn’t do any of those. “I can even make my thumb Disappear!”

“Wh-that’s impossible!” Trixie recoiled with shock, “I demand to know how you could do such a trick!”

I laughed with hysteria and replied with the smug voice that only magicians use. “But Trixie, don’t you know? Magicians Never reveal their secrets!”

She pouted at me before grumpily before answering, “Fine...” then continued outside to make preparations for the show, I on the other hand had more important things to attend to, like trying to master all the things I said I could do in a matter of minutes. I was bouncing all over the place trying to do attempt at least one of these feats, it wasn’t going well... I tried a hand stand and almost broke my neck, then I tried juggling and ended up punching myself in the face... I don’t even remember how I managed that... Then I tried a cartwheel, I got dizzy and fell on the floor and just layed there for a good 5 minutes, epic fail anyone? It was kind of pointless, I couldn’t do anything spectacular or amazing that Trixie thought I could do. Well, except removing my thumb, you know that one right? It's the oldest trick in the book...

Trixie eventually returned inside after making preparations for the show, I was actually quite intrigued, she looked extremely happy. I tried a different tactic of getting information, trying an entirely different approach. “You must enjoy this quite a bit to be travelling everywhere for the sake of entertainment, especially if you don’t get any money out of it...”

“Entertainment shouldn't be about money” Trixie said proudly, “It should be something free for everypony to enjoy! No matter what the pony's financial situation could be...”

‘Financial situation?’ I thought to myself, ‘That was oddly... Specific...’

“Well, I’m glad you enjoy doing something for everyone with such prowess and pride!” I replied, quite surprised by such an impressive outlook. “It's quite admirable... But I’ve been meaning to ask, why do you talk in the third person... Wait... Or is it third-pony?”

This was one of the main questions I’d wanted to ask her at the time, I mean was it necessary? I didn't think so, then again she did appear to be extremely boastful... “Why not?” Trixie stated, “They get free entertainment, surely I’m allowed to talk about myself whilst doing so?”

I began to explain to her, in the simplest and most informative way possible, the reasons why It would be counter productive to talk about oneself in such a manner. “But doesn’t it sound a bit... Pretentious? I mean talking about yourself during a show, wouldn’t that make them lose interest? They might think you're just boastful and self indulgent... That’s kinda the opposite of what you want, considering you want to entertain them and all...”

I was expecting her to snap back at me for suggesting such a thing, instead what I got, after a short silence, was a well thought out response. “...I do suppose I boast a little bit too much, I just want everypony to enjoy themselves...”

Sighing before walking over to her and getting eye level, I put it as clearly as possible. “Look, Trix” I began to elaborate, her face tilted to one side as I used her new nickname right in her face for the first time. “If you really believe in entertaining the ponies of this world, you need to be able to put ‘Them’ first. Even if you just walk onto the stage and say “I’m Trixie and this is my show”, not in third person by the way, then that's enough right? It’s entertainment and it's good don’t get me wrong, but by saying all those things... Doesn’t it set the bar just a little too high?”

Looking at the ground and sweeping past it with her hoof, she began to ponder everything that was said. “...Ok, so how do you think should I open the show?” She then walked over to the closed curtain, where she would be standing at the start of the show. “Just a quick intro and-?”

“Now wait” I interrupted swiftly, “ I didn’t say you had to leave out a proper introduction, all you have to do is tell them who you are and why you do what you do. You enjoy entertaining others, so what you could say is ‘My name is Trixie! Hobbyist show pony! I am here to share my love of this worlds entertainment with you all!’ Something like that, it shows your enthusiasm and love for what you do”

“Wait...” Trixie replied quietly, “...could you, write that down for me?” Using her big shiny eyes, she had convinced me to write her an introduction cue-card. It was for her sake, ‘Perhaps It would help her open up a bit more...’ I thought, she had listened to me up to this point so that was already a good start. I was put in charge of running all the lights and fireworks, all I had to do after this was get ready to burst out from backstage, doing what I did best whilst, hopefully, trying not to scare everypony in the process. What I do best by the way is act totally random in awkward situations, it’s a natural reaction I have.

Trixie gave me a wave with her hoof as a sign to get this show on the road, I got to the levers controlling all of the lighting and other special effects at our disposal, I cued the lights which were pointing at the center stage. I could see through a gap in the curtain at what was happening, ponies walking past or nearby had suddenly lost interest in what they were doing it was now fixated on the stage. I walked over to the pulley system for the curtain, “You all set?” I asked with a smile, it was exciting to be a part of something like this.

“Ready when you are!” Trixie replied with joy, I’m not even joking when I say this, when she was on that stage she looked happier than anyone, human or pony alike, I could possibly have ever imagined. I pulled open the curtain and she began to speak, I could hear the nervousness in her voice. “I am the Gre- I mean, My name is Trixie! Hobbyist show pony! I am... here to share my love of this worlds entertainment with all of you!”

The small group of ponies that had gathered so far, the audience, looked thrilled and happy to see Trixie so happy to entertain them for the cost of absolutely nothing but their time, over the extended amount of time we gathered quite an audience. I wish I knew how many ponies were in the town but if I had to guess, it was probably all of them... I’m not even kidding... You know Trixie’s old routine? Yeah, she did that... With a couple of alterations, it all goes back to what happened in ponyville. I never gave away the fact I knew anything about this world and I kept it that way as long as I could, mostly for the obvious reasons. Anyway, she had basically learnt several new tricks to show off. You know the trick AJ used to lasso an apple off a nearby tree? Well as it turns out, she could lift the rope with magic and do the same thing, not only that, but she could use it to catch an object in midair. Remember that ball I threw? She used that as practice before using real fruit, I eventually replaced the ball but at that point in time it was still in a deep dark cave somewhere. Other tricks she used were as follows, fireworks which, when they exploded in the air, turned into the shape of an Ursa Minor. She materialized flowers made from pure magic appear out of nowhere, which she then threw to the crowd, they were all different colours, shapes and sizes. Then I saw one that made me seethe just a tad, she pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Human magic, fake magic, does my head in. The rest was fine, its just ‘That’ which gets on my nerves. It shouldn’t even be called magic, it’s all down to illusions and sleight of hand. Calling it ‘Magic’ is an insult to this world... Anyway, she signalled for me to get ready, I hit one of the switches and a second set of lights came on. They were a mixture of colours, kind of like a kaleidoscope, aiming at the stage. Very eye catching and very effective... Then she signalled for me to wait, this confused me slightly, I thought I was just supposed to head out and go crazy.

As it turned out, she had given me my own introduction. Remember how she depicted herself Vanquishing an Ursa Major? It was drawn on the stars themselves, well they seemed to be anyway. Well, she began to draw herself on a stage... Then she began telling a tale which sounded all too familiar...

“I would like to share something with you all today, something which occurred quite recently in fact...”She began, I remember tilting my head trying to figure out what she was doing... “I was doing a show, very much like this one, in the town of Appleloosa...”

‘Wait, hang on...’ I thought to myself, ‘This is already sounding... Familiar...’

The townsfolk were listening and watching with wonder, the sky was now a canvas for the story itself. “I had done something rather... Foalish, I had opened a portal to another world...” By this point the townsfolk were looking at eachother with confusion, the wonder and amazement had been drained from their faces. Regardless of noticing this, Trixie carried on, “Within moments of the portal opening, a creature had appeared from this purple, spiraling vortex...” The lights in the sky were now moving, the portal was spinning... Then, a creature wearing a familiar black shirt and red tie had fallen out of this abyss. It was me... “Now, I present to you, my sidekick of entertainment, The first Human in Equestria!”

‘Right, that’s my cue!’ I muttered nervously as I looked at my now shaking hands, ‘I’ll just wing it...’ I thought, as I walked up to the center stage. Before I had left, I activated the lights to work on a timer, they turned off for exactly 5 seconds. During this time I made my way next to Trixie, then the lights flickered on and boom, I was being viewed by a whole town...

“Hello There!” I said clearly with a smile, “My name is Ni-” Well I wanted to anyway, they all started screaming and ran away in a panic.

I just stared in complete and total disbelief as all the towns folk scattered away to their homes, “... R-Really?!” I spluttered, “This is just... This is Deja Vu isn’t it?”

Trixie sighed loudly next to me, “Sure seems that way...”