The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie

The Standard and Normal Human7

There I sat in the cage inside the convoy of wagons, front row seat to my own impending doom. There wasn’t a way out, my cage was right next to Curts and the D.D. (Diamond Dogs). The only way out was for Trixie to track me down and free me, but I didn’t think about the ‘How?’. It was a cage with no door in sight, It was extremely heavy and stable, so how would she lift it? Then again how was it moved in the first place? A magic user must have moved it, I do remember, while I was on the ground in pain, after getting hoofed in the stomach, that the cage did glow a strange bluish purple just before everything began to move. There were several things I didn’t understand however...

Who was Mr Lunamoon?

Why does he know about Trixie and me?

Was there a connection between the two?

‘Pfft, don’t be stupid...’ I thought to myself, ‘There completely the opposite...’

I got up and started pacing, I was shaking and unnerved. Anxiety had taken over and I was having a ‘Slight’ panic.

“Nick, calm down...” Curt attempted to reassure me, “You’re not going to solve anything by panicking”

“Yeah I know that...” I replied in haste, “That’s why I’m trying to calm myself down...”

“Uh-huh... So how's the pacing back and forth working out for you?” Curt remarked with a blank stare, knowing full well that it wasn’t doing anything.

“It’s not... In fact I think it’s making it worse...” It totally was, I mean making yourself tired is only going to make you think less effectively. Like waking up early and trying to do tasks which require a lot of thought and planning, it’s not going to end well... “Ok, so what do ‘You’ think I should do?”

“Simple, stop moving and breathe slowly...” Curt told me, it sounded more like he was a trained sniper than a lion.

Wait, is there a term in fishing known as Sniping? If not then perhaps this guy knows a thing or two...Wait... What the hell am I even talking about!?

“Fine fine...” I replied, stopping in place facing the cage wall and parking my backside on the floor. “... She’d better hurry...”

Time seemed to slow down, I was more focused on hope than anything. If I began to think about the plan ‘going south’ I don’t think I would have been able to deal with it, I mean who wants to be in captivity and used as part of some kind of ‘Entertainment?!’ Heck, show me someone who does and perhaps I’ll get a better answer, but I wasn’t going to sit there and accept this... Not a chance... Well, that's what I thought. But as I’ve said before, I didn’t really have a choice in the matter...

I began to daydream, it was a world I was unfamiliar with but forced to play a part of in some sick sideshow... I think I preferred my original idea when I first arrived, the dream I had. I mean as I’ve said before I’m not a fan of magic and, perhaps, looking like a magician and travelling with Trixie around Equestria sounded pretty bizarre at first. But I would take that any day rather than the latter, you know, imprisonment and all that jazz...

At this time I was more interested in the Diamond Dogs, I mean they had been quiet all this time instead of mocking me. I turned around and they were fast asleep, I know right? It was as if they didn’t care, seemed like they were dealing with the whole situation better than me...

“Um, Nick?” Curt asked with concern, but soon his attention was averted. “Um, can I help you?”

“Nick!” A familiar voice shouted, it was filled with shock and relief. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

I looked down in a daze and could see Trixie and a familiar small filly standing next to her, for whatever reason my brain hadn’t clicked just yet. “Ah hey Trixie! It’s been a while... It’s been a rather interesting couple of hours, I mean the idea of being carted around like a sideshow pet makes me feel-” I paused abruptly, the bombshell had just hit home and my calm talk turned into a mad panic and a plea for help. “For the Love of Celestia! Get me OUT of Here!”

“Wow, that didn’t last long...” Curt remarked, laughing quietly to himself.

“Well well well, look who’s arrived...” A voice uttered I the distance, slowly he made himself visible. The top hatted Lunamoon himself appeared from the front of the wagon, clearly he was the one leading this convoy. “It’s been a long time dear daughter...”

Now folks, this is where I begin the countdown. You know, when the realisation finally kicks in and I realise what he just said. It managed to blow my mind on such a scale it makes all my previous discoveries null and void...

“It’s been a long time... Father...” Trixie reluctantly said, trying not to meet the gaze from her fathers eyes.

3

“Me and your mother have been worried about you for a long time...” Mr Lunamoon said very plainly, almost as if he didn’t even mean what he said.

2

“You can stop the act, I demand that you release the human immediately!” Trixie announced loudly, trying to keep as calm as possible.

1

“I’m afraid I cannot do that... He’s just too valuable...” Mr Lunamoon informed Trixie, looking oh so smug behind that smile of his.

Aaaaaand...

“I don’t care! He can’t stay here forever-” Trixie was about to follow this sentence up, I ended up interrupting her... Rather loudly I might add...

The Bomb finally hits home...

“Holy Crap! You’re Her Father!?” I shouted in shock, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, hearing and experiencing. I looked at the pair of them, it took me awhile but could kind of see a resemblance between the- Wait, what am I saying? In fact, they couldn’t have looked any different. “But- He- What?- Gah!”

“... As much as I hate to admit it, I Am his daughter... My full name is Trixie Lunamoon” Trixie informed me, which is ironic now that I think about it. You see, if you type in Trixie into google and check her official wiki page, there's a mention of her last name. It was a toy for the Royal wedding... Thing... “But that doesn’t matter now, I’m here to get you out of here...”

“I’m afraid I can’t just let you walk away with my once in a lifetime attraction, isn’t that right honey?” Mr Lunamoon stated, from behind him a second carnival pony had made themselves visible. It was a unicorn, it had a magic wand for a Cutie mark. With a deep blue coat, purple mane and green eyes which she seemed to flutter for some reason... Attention seeker much? She wore a large top hat like her husband, sporting a monocle to boot.

“Indeed, now be a good filly and come back to mummy and daddy” Mrs Lunamoon said with lack of true emotion in her voice, oh and by that I mean this. She said it as if she was talking down to Trixie, its demeaning when someone talks to someone else like that. “Oh and make sure to bring back that wagon as well-”

“I-I’m not coming back!” Trixie announced very nervously, If I didn’t know any better at the time I would have said she was kind of afraid of them.

Now at this point I could go on to explain what else was said, I mean it was pretty interesting at the time. But my attention was averted, not by the normal means however. I say this because... Well, it was pretty bizarre. I could hear a whistling sound below me, this didn’t phase me though. It did however cause a certain lion to get my attention instead...

“Um, Nick... Am I going crazy?” Curt asked me, clearly something was wrong as he was clearly questioning his sanity.

“Eh? What are you talking about?” I replied, completely thrown off by his random question. “You been near any cat-nip at all?”

“Cat- what? No... Look down there...” He pointed down at the ground behind us, the cages we were in were slightly elevated which is why I was having to tilt my head down.

And there stood something that I’d never think I would see in this world, it was a giant chicken... No, Seriously! Or at least that’s what I thought, it wasn’t a real one though, it was a suit. It was the same suit that I had used for Trixie's show, now I went all detective as this was all happening, thus the conclusion was rather intriguing.

The ‘giant chicken’ stood on its hind legs, quite well actually. More balanced than some of the ponies at the carnival... What? I saw a few... What was interesting however is that it was a carnival game for pairs, the ponies that tried were terrible. This tells me that it takes more than a day, nay, a week to learn how to do tha-... Haha! Sorry, I just got my own joke there... Nay? No? Fine... Just me then... Anyway, not only was this ‘chicken’ standing on it’s back legs, but it was even using human motions with it’s hands. You know, when you talk about something interesting? Or if you’ve seen those businessmen talking like they are ‘Soooo Interesting’, then you understand what I mean.

“Hey... You!” It said, with a strangely familiar voice no less. It sounded slightly gravely so I could tell that it was putting a voice on, the question next was why? “Listen, take this and get out of here! I’ve not got a lot of time, get yourself and everyone else out of here!” Then it threw a key through the bars close to my feet, this confused me on a monumental level.

“Um, that’s all well and good but there isn’t a door to this cage...” I stated clearly, looking around for a keyhole. There wasn’t one that I could see...

“Ugh, why did I even- Look up darn it!” It pointed out with its hand. I looked up and there was a small square style door with a keyhole in it, it was the size of an attic hatch. “Just climb up and unlock it... Easy...”

“... How do you even know this?-” I asked with intrigue, this thing knew something that I didn’t. Unfortunately, it interrupted me before I could get an answer...

“Just do it!” It snapped at me, clearly It was in some kind of  hurry... “Get out of there, free the animals and get going!”

I looked up and assessed how I would even get up there. The only solid piece of metal was below me, above had bars going across meeting the hatch in the middle. “You seriously think I can get up there?” I asked, I’m not an athletic person so this would be hard enough as it is... “What do you think I am? Some kind of spider monkey?-” It interrupted me again,

“If I can do it in one go then so can you!” It snapped again, giving up more information for me to analyse. “ *sigh* Well... It’s been fun, I’m out of here... Thank you and goodnight!”

It then turned around and walked off into the distance, but it left me with a strange feeling. ‘Wait... Didn’t I-’ I begin to think, but I stopped myself and realised that it wasn’t the time to be messing around. Soon the Lunamoon Duo would notice my motives, I looked at the bars above me and laughed to myself. “This shouldn’t be so hard right?” I said out loud, looking towards curt for some kind of motivation. I took a run up and bounced off the bar in front of me, I then grabbed a bar above me and carefully shimmied my way to the lock. I was surprised I made it, it was killing my arms but I was doing it! Ha! Spider-man’s got nothing on me! I undid the lock and opened the hatch, with the last of my strength I lifted myself out and laid on top of the cage in exhaustion. “Ha- I did it in- one too- take that- chicken suit thing...” I panted out loud, it was then that I got to work...

Trixie and her parents were still talking about... Stuff... You know how it is right? When someone is talking and you’re doing something as they do it, you don’t pay attention to what’s going on  around you... Wait, you do? ... Well then I guess I can’t multitask... Anyway, I undid the locks on the cages, which took me awhile by the way, especially as I had to keep low profile as I did it. As I did this I told all of the creatures to wait for my ‘Signal’ before escaping. But Nick! What is the signal? Oh well, I think it’s best for you to wait and see... When I got to the diamond dogs cage however, I hesitated slightly.

“Ok, here's the deal” I began as I looked Ringo dead in the eyes, he was slightly surprised by the sudden serious tone of voice I was using. “I’m going to free you, but I want something in return...”

“Oh, do you now?” Ringo replied in that smug tone I was sick of by that time, “... Fine, what is it? Gems? Food?” All good ideas, but no...

“Um, actually I want you to get the sea serpent out of here... He can’t exactly leave unless he’s In that bathtub...” I replied to Ringo, pointing towards the serpent now waving back at us. I had a quick word with this dude, he was too quiet and didn’t say much at all. “All I need you do to is grab that tub and get out of here... Get him to the sea... Or a lake or whatever, that’s all...”

The serpent wasn’t even in a cage, I mean he needed the water so it wasn’t like he could get away... It made sense really, why waste a cage when the bath tub is as good as one?

“... Fine, as you wish...” He replied, quite happily it would seem. Perhaps it was his dog sense of loyalty? I could only guess so...

“Thank you... It was a pleasure Ringo... Oh and tell your two sleeping buddies over there that I said bye...” I chirped back, looking at Rex and Ken in the corner, snoozing the day away.

I unlocked it and saluted to Ringo just before leaving their cage, finally I jumped back to where I began. I sat on top of my cage and just observed the ‘family feud’ that was still going on... You see, I wanted to make sure that when Mr Luna-jerk finally realised I was out of my cage so that he could see my smug face staring back at him. Revenge is best served by rubbing it in their faces...

“-So no, either come back to us now and return everything you took. Or you can leave without your friend... The choice is yours...” Mr Lunamoon stated bluntly, he wasn’t backing down from his decision at all.

Trixie looked extremely conflicted, if I didn’t know any better at the time I would have thought she was ready to give up everything to get me out... Pff, like I was going to let that happen...

“Oh P-L-ease... She wouldn’t even consider doing something so rash...” I uttered out loud, at this point I was laying on my back on top of the cage. “Especially if she doesn’t have to...”

“Ha! What would you know ‘Human?” He replied, still sounding so smug and cock sure about himself. He then turned his head towards direction, “You should learn your place in this world, you're just a-” As soon as he saw where I was however he stopped dead...

“A what? Pet? Or a Prisoner?” I quipped back at him, using his own smugness against him. “Well I’m not a prisoner since I’m free now... And I’m not a pet because that would imply that we’re friends and that you’re taking care of me... But no, your not Ash, and I’m Not Pikachu... Your hospitality sucks...”

I stood up and took a long stretch, I needed to from the sound of it. As soon as I tilted my neck it clicked, I looked at Trixie and she was staring at me in disbelief. “Nick!? How did you-”

“What? Get out?” I interrupted, I wanted to cut to the point but I really didn’t know how to explain it... “ A Giant chicken gave me... the key to the- You know what, that’s not important right now... I’m out and you don’t have to give up anything...”

“But- How Did you!?-” Mr Lunamoon started again, he was really getting on my nerves...

“I just Said! A Giant Chicken Gave me the key! You’ve got ears for listening, use them!” I interrupted again, snapping as I did it. “You know what, I think I’ve had enough... Run My Friends! To Freedom!”

As I shouted this out loud, the cages all began shaking. You could feel it in the ground, all the creatures were escaping at the same time. It was rather cool, I felt like Ace Ventura... Oh speaking of which...

“LOOO-HOOO-ZUH-HER!” I shouted over the mass noise going on behind me, making an L shape with my hand as I did it then lifting it to my head. “That there Sir is checkmate! I’m out of here”

I jumped down from my cage and made my way to Trixie, still looking at me in disbelief. She looked as if she was ready to burst into tears, but she didn’t say anything... Before I did that however I looked to my right, in the distance I could see the D.D. running away with the bath tub over their heads containing the sea serpent I asked them to protect. Ringo looked in my direction and I gave him a nod, you know, the one that says ‘Thanks for your cooperation...’ I’m just glad he kept his part of the bargain. I didn’t notice before but the filly who I sent to find Trixie was hiding right behind... Trixie... Yeah, that did sound a bit repetitive.

She carefully peered from behind her, looking in my direction... I would have thanked her and said hi, but I was more intrigued with what Trixie’s parents were about to do next. To my surprise they just started walking away, no words, no reaction, nothing... I was expecting a rant like ‘You! You’ve ruined my business!’ But the words never came...

“So, you two ok?” I asked the girls, they looked slightly spooked. Perhaps It was the fact that the creatures stampeded past them? Or just maybe they didn’t expect for the event to take a turn in the opposite direction... Either way, I just wanted to make sure they were ok. “C’mon you two, say something...”

It’s ironic really, I didn’t notice that they were looking past me. I turned around and there was Curt standing right behind me, he actually made me jump. “Jesu- Curt, I know you're stealthy and all but c’mon... Don’t do that...”

“What? I’m just standing here... Oh right, because you didn’t know I was there... My Apolohie-” Curt began, he then cut off his sentence near the end. “Wait, was that a Joke about my Size?!” He shouted, he took it the wrong way completely. And I hadn’t even said anything...

“What!? Dude stop being so paranoid... You’re beginning to sound like me...” I replied quickly, trying to diffuse the conversation before I heard him rant about his size. I looked back at the pair and realised why they were so quiet, “Oh right... This is Trixie and- ... Um, you know what I never did catch your name...”

“M-Me?” The small filly replied nervously, still being extremely cautious, what with the lion right in front of her and all. “M-My name is A-Amber Shine”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you again” I said with a smile, bowing as I said it. Oh I’m such a gentleman... “Oh right, formalities. Ladies, I would like to introduce you to Curt-Claw from a small Tribe known as the ‘Fang Gang’. He’s friendly, kind and courteous”

“And kind of small...” Amber Shine added, clearly not understanding that there was nothing big about small jokes... Ha! I was expecting Curt to shout and rant about his size but thankfully he never did, he grinded his teeth and swallowed that remark with pride.

“I-It’s nice to meet you young one” He replied Gingerly, he really was just like Edward Elric. “I do have a favour to ask however...”

This caught all of us by surprise, I mean he hadn’t said anything prior to this happening. “Oh? Well fire away, I’m sure we can help out...” I told him, I was sure it was do-able.

“I want a lift to Canterlot” Curt put plainly, there wasn’t even any hesitation. “From there I can get home, it’s a few days from the tribe if I run straight there...”

“... Wait, for two days straight?” I questioned, that did sound like he was trying to impress us... Well to me it did anyway... “U-huh... You sure about that?”

“... Ok, It might be a little longer... I may have one or two naps...” Curt added, I looked at him and smiled unconvincingly. “... Perhaps more than two-” He added...

“It’s fine, we’ll take you...” Trixie interrupted, though she still sounded a little shaken up from earlier. “It’s where we’re going next anyway...”

I looked at Trixie but she seemed to steer her eyes away, something was clearly on her mind. I mean she hadn’t spoken since I set the animals free... Oh and the time I was in the cage, silly me... Just then F&F had finally caught up and rejoined the group, they had taken their sweet time...

“Thank Celestia you’re ok!” Flim gasped with relief, he then stood on his back hooves, balanced himself, then gave me a hug. “I shouldn’t have left you on your own, it’s all my fault...”

“No, no its not...” I informed him, slowly I dragged him off of me and he was back on all fours. “He would have found a way to capture me, with or without you there...”

“Well at least you’re safe...” Flam added, sighing for relief he walked towards Trixie to see if she was ok. They then both walked away from where we were standing, I think they just wanted to talk. Like I said before, they seemed to be rather close... What? No! Not in that way, if that was the case I would have fainted right there and then. No, he was like a father figure to her. You know, because her’s isn’t one she would like to follow suit after. Ironic really considering that both Lunamoon and F&F were both business colts... Mares... Gah! Which is it again? Whatever, you get what I mean.

“... Why is there a rather short lion here?” Flim asked innocently, I think that Curt was finding this cliche rather old at this point.

“I’m NOT Short!” Curt yelled, he jumped towards Flim and started flailing around. I jumped in between and held him back, “Let me At Him! Get off of Me!”.

“For the Love of- Just calm down!” I shouted back, clinging onto him for dear life.

Amber shine was enjoying the show, she started laughing and fell to the ground in an attempt to contain herself. “You two must be good friends, I hope you make it back to your home Mr Claw!” Amber Shine said with a smile, this calmed down Curt considerably. “Well I’d better get home. My mum must be worried...”

“Well, take care... Oh and thanks again!” I replied, I then looked towards Curt and widened my eyes to signal to him. You know, the one that says ‘Oi, Say thanks as well...’

“...I am eternally grateful young one...” Curt said calmly, he sounded as wise as Aslan... Go figure right?

“Ok, see ya!” Amber Shine said, she then galloped into the distance...

“Right... Lets head back to the wagon... I need a nap...” I added, I then began walking back to the wagon. Curt and Flim followed shortly behind me...

As we did however, I looked towards the distance and could see something... It looked like santa had come early, I mean it looked like a carriage after all... I didn’t think anything of it at the time, the whole scenario had caught up with me, I was pooped... Plus at that point in time I would have had to head home sooner rather than later...

How was I supposed to explain this to my friend when I got home?