Evergreen Heart

Chapter 11
PhD in Clueless.

It was mid-morning in Ponyville as three small figures made their way out of town past the checkpoints set up by the royal guard. The guard were out in force in and around Ponyville, keeping an eye out for roaming monsters. With so many predators and critters driven out of the Everfree, the immediate area around Ponyville was potentially unsafe to travel through. Guards patrolled the roads leading in an out of town, and kept a close eye on the borders of the Whitetail Woods, where the majority of the animals had relocated. Still, the patrols couldn't be everywhere at once, giving the Cutie Mark Crusaders the perfect opportunity to successfully sneak out of town and into the Everfree.

“Why the heck are we going in here?” Scootaloo asked as they entered the Everfree outskirts.

“To look for our friend and see if he's okay,” Apple Bloom replied.

“First, he's your friend, not ours, and second, how do you know that he wasn’t the monster that nearly destroyed the whole town?”

“No way, he wouldn't save us just to come back and try to eat all of Ponyville. That don't make a lick of sense.”

“You realize he simply could have been lying all along right?”

“Hogwash and horse apples,” Apple Bloom said vehemently. “Ah refuse to believe that until I see proof of the contrary.”

“You're as stubborn as a mule, Apple Bloom. Don't come crying to us if it turns out we were right.”

Before the two fillies could argue further Sweetie Belle chimed in, “You still haven't explained where we're going exactly. We're not gonna wander around the forest at random right?”

“Course not, we're gonna find Zecora's place,” Apple Bloom replied.

“Why her?” Scoots asked.

“Because she knows him, an' maybe they were hiding out from the monster together.”

“I guess that makes sense. But isn't it dangerous to go in here? Last time we set a hoof in here we almost got eaten,” said Sweetie.

“I heard Rainbow Dash say that most of the dangerous creatures that lived in here have made their home in the Whitetail woods and the surrounding countryside now. Its why all the guards are hanging around town. So it should be okay,” Scootaloo answered before Apple Bloom could.

“I hope so, Rarity would be awful cross with me if I got eaten.”

“Ah think that would be the last thing you need to worry about if you got eaten, Sweetie Belle,” said Apple Bloom

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a sheepish blush.

`I still don't understand why we're out here risking our hides for two creepy strangers,” said Scootaloo.

“They ain't creepy, just different. Why is everypony so skittish when meeting new creatures anyway? There's plenty of other species out there, like the griffins. You don't see ponies freaking out about them,” Apple Bloom huffed.

“Okay, I'll give you that one. But they are still a bunch of strangers. That we know almost nothing about.

“My dad always says, 'A stranger is a friend you just haven't met yet',” Sweetie Belle offered.

They walked for some time, or in Scootaloo's case rolled along, sticking mainly to the small winding dirt road that snaked its way through the woods.

“Is it me, or does the place feel less creepy than it used to?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Looks the same to me,” said Scootaloo

“Ahm not talkin' about how it looks. Ahm talkin' about how it feels. It don't make my skin crawl as much as it normally does.”

The other two fillies stood still for a moment as they focused their senses on the forest.

“I honestly can't feel the difference,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Me neither,” said Scootaloo, “Are you sure you aren't imagining things?”

“Maybe it's because she's an earth pony?”

“What difference does that make?”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Did you pay any attention in class when Miss Cheerilee talked about the different pony species? Earth ponies are more closely connected to nature, so maybe Apple Bloom is able to sense something we can't.”

They walked on in silence as they contemplated that. Before long they happened upon Zecora's home.

“Is this the place?” Sweetie whispered.

“Looks creepy to me,” Scootaloo said as she scowled at the tree home with its colorful mask decorations.

“Will you two stop bein' a bunch of scaredy ponies? Let's go an’ say hello.”

Putting deed to words she stepped up to the door and knocked.

“Hello? Miss Zecora? Are you home?”

“Maybe she went for a walk?” Scoots offered when no reply came.

“Let’s look in the window.”

“Or how about we head on home?” Sweetie said timidly.

Ignoring Sweetie Belle's remark, Apple Bloom stood on her hind legs and pulled herself up with her front hooves to look through the window. She gasped at what she saw.

“It's Zecora, an' she looks hurt,” she thumped her hoof on the window but the Zebra gave no response.

“I think she's unconscious.”

“You sure she's not just sleeping?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Apple Bloom gave her a glare, “On the floor?”

“Then let's get in there and help her,” Scootaloo said as she started pushing against the door.

“It's no good, the door is barricaded. Scootaloo, you should go get help.”

“Why me?”

“Duh, because you're the fastest, you dodo.” Sweetie Belle said as she pointed at her scooter.

“Oh, right!”

With no time to lose, Scootaloo hopped on her scooter and sped off back to Ponyville, her little wings buzzing like the engine on a dirtbike. She wore a look of single minded concentration as she zigzagged between the trees, jumped over logs or ducked under low hanging branches like a stunt professional. She might not be able to fly yet, but she was as nimble and agile as any pegasus could ever hope to be.

It took the speedy filly no time at all to make her way out of the Everfree, bursting through the underbrush with a whooping jump. She hung in the air for several seconds before gravity reasserted its grip and brought her back to the ground. She briefly reveled in the sensation of the wind beneath her wings, but she could not dwell on that; Zecora and the girls were depending on her.

As she sped down the road leading up to Ponyville, she ran into two guards on patrol, a
unicorn and a pegasus. She brought her scooter to a screeching halt, kicking up loose dirt and pebbles as she slid to a stop in front of them. The unicorn looked a bit startled while the Pegasus gave her an appraising glance.

“What's the rush there, little filly?” the pegasus asked.

“I need help, somepony's hurt. Come on!” she said without preamble.

“Slow down there kid,” said the unicorn, “Who got hurt and where?”

“It's Miss Zecora, she's the one who's hurt. She's at her home in the Everfree.”

“Zecora? Ain't she that Zebra enchantress we been hearing rumors about in town? Ponies keep whispering the wildest things about her,” said the pegasus.

“Yes that's her, I don't know what happened but she's apparently unconscious back at her home.”

“And what the hay were you doing in the Everfree forest,” said the Pegasus.

“Look, I can explain all that later but she needs help now!”

The pegasus looked like he wanted to argue but the unicorn held up a hoof to stall him.

“Stow it, Cloud Jumper. Lead us to her, kid.” he said to her with a look that was all business.

Before long the trio arrived at Zecora's hut. The two guards took one look through the window before jumping into action. With a telekinetic flick of his horn, the unicorn guard cleared the items barricading the door.

“At least we know who was responsible for unleashing the monster.” Cloud Jumper said once they stepped inside, “Look at all this. I don't know what sort of sorcery she's got going, but I betcha she conjured up that monster and it turned on her.”

Before any of the CMC could protest the unicorn guard slapped him across the back of the head. His helmet ringing like a gong.

“OW! What the hay Star Horn?”

“Are you bucking daft? Do you know anything about Zebra magic?”

“Well... no, but...”

“But nothing you blathering foal. I've been to Zebrica as part of Celestia's personal escort twice now. I've learned a thing or two about Zebra culture and magic during our stay, enough to recognize a spiritual protection circle when I see one. Whatever she was doing here it wasn't anything malicious. Now stand back and let me work.”

Star Horn knelt down next to Zecora and began to cast a standard diagnostic spell.

“No visual wounds of any kind, but that doesn't tell us much. She's dehydrated, probably hasn't drank anything for a few days at least. Breathing is shallow. Stand back, I'm going to perform some first aid treatments.”

He began to cast several first aid spells.

“That's odd, she's not responding to treatment. There is something going on inside, I'm sure of it.”

He cast a more complex diagnostic spell. The girls watched silently as he worked.

“It's just as I thought, she's suffering from internal injuries. It's a small miracle she's still alive.”

He cast another series of spells, his scowl deepening with what they revealed, “Dear Celestia, she's suffered psychosomatic wounds. I've stabilized her for the moment but she needs to be taken to the nearest spell injury ward on the double.”

“Psychoso-what now?” Asked Sweetie Belle.

“Psychosomatic. It's when the mind believes something so strongly the body responds in kind,” Star Horn answered without pause as he continued to treat Zecora as best he could.

At the fillies confused looks he elaborated.

“Let me give you an example. If I were to cut you with an illusionary sword, but you don't know the sword is not real, and with enough power behind the spell you would spontaneously start to bleed. All because your own mind believes it so strongly that your own body makes it real.”

The fillies nodded in understanding.

“Of course there are many things besides illusions that can cause such wounds. Magical backlash for example can also create such injuries. There have even been recorded cases where ponies have literally died of fear. But enough talk, we need to get her to the hospital on the double.”

He then turned to Cloud Jumper.

“Take these three back to town, I'm going to teleport the Zebra directly to the hospital.”

Cloud Jumper threw him a salute. Star Horn closed his eyes, focused all his power into a teleportation spell, and in a flash of crimson light and ruby colored sparkles he and Zecora vanished.

************

The flight to Canterlot had been rather brief. I was glad to be inside the crate for the duration, though; I never did like heights. I felt the chariot touch down and then the crate being carried or possibly levitated away. When they finally opened up the lid I found myself in a room that looked like a mix of a wizard's tower, or what I imagined a wizards tower to look like anyway, and a modern day laboratory. Its weird how the pony world seems to just mix and match technology levels at random. Or outright replaces some with magical equivalents. A discussion for another day I suppose.

At least this place had proper windows. They were high up but the suns precious rays could reach me at least. There was a virtual swarm of ponies milling about the room. Some wearing lab coats while others were dressed in wizards cloaks similar to the one Trixie wears, just a lot less gaudy.

For the next couple of hours I was poked and prodded and zapped with every diagnostic spell in the book. No, really, they carried in a big book and went through the entire thing spell by spell. At least nopony tried to take a chunk out of me again, and none of their spells were painful. Though there was the one spell that made me feel like I was itching all over. Fortunately the feeling went away as soon as the spell stopped.

“Is that everything?” one pony in a lab coat asked a wizard pony.

“We haven't tried the Samophlange yet.”

“What the buck is a Samophlange?” some pony in the background muttered.

“It can wait, it's almost three in the afternoon and I still haven't had any lunch.”

At that statement a collective growl of several stomachs went off all across the room and many ponies looked sheepishly at their own bellies.

“Alright everypony, let's break for a bite to eat before somepony thinks it's a good idea again to eat what’s in the petri dishes,” a pony in a lab coat and thick glasses said.

“Hey, that only happened once!”

Oh sweet merciful Luna my fate is in the hooves of idiots.

**************

Nurse Redheart was sitting behind the reception desk at the Accident & Emergency department of Ponyville General Hospital. The day had been slow so far and she took the time to fill out some of the paperwork that had backed up. She had just picked up the next dossier when she was startled out of her seat by a bright flash and the trademark popping noise of a teleportation spell. A unicorn stallion in guard armor stood over the unconscious form of a Zebra mare. Responding purely on training and instinct, Redheart hit the emergency button on her desk before she dashed on over.

“What's happened?” she asked the guard in a clipped tone.

Star Horn’s reply was equally crisp, “Psychosomatic trauma, cause unknown. Internal injuries only as far as I've been able to determine. She's not responding to standard first aid. I've managed to stabilize her enough for transport. No idea about her mental state, she’s been unconscious, presumably for several days, causing dehydration.”

Redheart clicked her tongue disapprovingly as she felt Zecora's pulse. A moment later several more ponies entered the room. Two additional nurses and a unicorn pony in a doctor's coat wearing a stethoscope. She quickly filled him in on the patient's condition.

“Alright everypony, let's start an IV line to get some fluid into her, then we'll take her down to the spell ward for a full examination and determine the best treatment.”

It was about half an hour later that Cloud Jumper arrived with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Star had been speaking with the doctors when they arrived and they caught the last bit of the conversation.

“We have done our best to treat the injuries, but she remains in a comatose state. We can only hope she will wake up on her own soon.”

“Ain’t there anything you can do doctor?” Star horn asked the older stallion.

“At this point, no. If we try to wake her up by force we could end up doing more harm to her. She has been exposed to a very strong dark magic, adding more magic into the mix will only be detrimental. The best thing to do is let her rest and recover and hopefully she will come out of it within the next few days. Frankly we were lucky you found her when you did.”

“Don’t thank me, thank these three little fillies. If it wasn’t for them checking up on a friend we would never have known she was out there. Didn’t anypony think to check on her after the monster attack?”

“Well, no. Pretty much everypony in town tends to avoid her.” said Sweetie Belle.

Before Star Horn could ask her about it the door swung open to allow entrance to an irate Applejack.

“Apple Bloom, have you lost your gall darned mind! First I hear you an’ your friends are bein’ escorted by the guard, then I hear you’ve been in the Everfree forest, an’ now I hear you three have been goin’ to Zecora’s place! How many times have ah told y'all not to get involved with her and her creepy mumbo jumbo, or to keep your rumps out of the Everfree forest?”

“But Applejack,” Apple Bloom began but one look from her big sister made her falter.

“But nothin' Apple Bloom. Ah told y'all more times than ah can remember not to associate with her type. You girls are all in a heap o’ trouble an' then some,” Applejack said whilst glaring daggers at the CMC.

“Are you for real?” Star Horn said acidly, “These girls just saved her life. Had they been so much as an hour later we’d likely be having a funeral right about now.”

“Well be that as it may ah still don't want them near that nasty Zebra and her creepy hocus pocus.”

Star Horn’s scowl deepened. “Is everypony in this town a speciesist hick or is it just you?”

“Excuse me?” Applejack said dangerously.

“You heard me, I’m asking you what your bucking malfunction is. Has that zebra ever troubled you?”

“Well... no, but-” Applejack began but Star Horn cut her off.

“Has she ever threatened you or anypony you know?”

“No but-”

“Has she ever done anything illegal?”

“Not to my knowledge but that-”

“So here we have a mare who has done absolutely nothing wrong and you and the rest of the town treat her like she’s the next coming of Nightmare Moon, and for what reason? Because she looks different? Because she comes from a culture you know nothing about? Because she has, as you so eloquently put it, ‘hocus pocus’? You ponies should be bucking ashamed of yourselves!”

That took the wind right out of Applejacks sails. She looked away, not wanting to meet Star Horn's angry eyes.

“Ease up on the mare mate, before you get in trouble with the sarge,” Cloud Jumper stage whispered in Star’s ear.

“Getting in trouble for what trooper?” A new voice said from behind them, making everyone in the room jump in surprise at the stealthy appearance of the newcomer.

The newcomer turned out to be an earth pony mare, even taller than Applejack with a flaming orange coat and fiery red mane. Her stern eyes, which were a bright grassy green, were glaring out from under the brim of a campaign hat she wore in lieu of the traditional guard helmet. Her cutie mark was hidden beneath her standard issue guard armor. How in the hay such a big and flamboyantly colored pony had been able to sneak up on them was anyone's guess.

“Sergeant Fire Shot, we didn’t see you there ma’am,” Cloud Jumper said, his voice sounding an octave or two higher than normal.

“Obviously,” she deadpanned with an expression of extreme boredom, yet her eyes contained hints of mirth, “Now would one of you care to explain what the hay is going on, because all I got to work with so far is a bunch of rumors and hearsay, and you know how much I like those.”

“I will give you my report of the situation as I understand it ma’am,” Star horn said.

He spent the next few minutes explaining how the girls had found Zecora after sneaking out of town past their patrols. How Scootaloo had come across them and requested aid. How he had taken Zecora to the hospital, how nopony had bothered to check on the zebra before now because she was treated as a social pariah for apparently no reason, and how he got into an argument with Applejack because of her reaction. Fire Shot took it all in with a stoic expression.

“I see, looks like I have a few perimeter guards to give a dressing down later,” she said in a tone that made the two guards shudder in sympathy for their fellows. “Well then, trooper, how do you suggest we deal with this situation?”

“I would nip this in the bud before it escalates to pitchforks and torches level ma’am. With how fast rumor tends to travel it won’t be long before everypony knows miss Zecora is in the hospital.”

“I agree, let's go have a talk with the mayor about this.” She then turned her attention to Applejack, “You come with us as well, miss. It’s time this town got a much needed reality check.”

“What about mah sister an’ her friends?” Applejack began to protest. “Are they in trouble with the guard?”

“Well, normally they would be for sneaking past the patrols, but considering their actions saved somepony’s life we can just pretend that never happened. Now they can tag along, or they can stay here and visit their injured friend, if the doctor permits it.”

Applejack wanted to protest the idea of her sister being around Zecora, but one glance at Star Horn made her reconsider as his words rang through her mind again. ”What has she ever done to you?” Perhaps she had been treating her unfairly. She looked over to Apple Bloom.

“Are you comin’ or stayin’ sugarcube?”

“Ahm gonna stay here for a while, if that’s okay?” the little filly responded.

“Ah suppose it is.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

Applejack took a moment to gather her thoughts.

“Only fer puttin’ yerself in possible danger sugarcube. But ah guess ah can’t be mad at ya for savin’ somepony’s life now can ah? Just don’t think yer off the hook fer sneakin’ into the Everfree. We’ll definitely have words about that with Granny an’ Big Macintosh later,” she said before following the trio of guards out of the hospital.

***************

The sun finally set and the lab was slowly emptying out. Ponies wrapped up their experiments and switched off all but the most essential equipment. Pretty soon, the last of the lights went out and the lab descended into darkness with only the first rays of the moon and starlight to see by. After being poked, prodded, and zapped with spells all day and watching these pony scientists mill about like a bunch of school kids. Feeling tired and numb, I soon drifted off into a light sleep. My dreams were restless that night. I kept dreaming of losing control. Of eating ponies and griffins and minotaurs alive. And about a bearded face, laughing cruelly at my anguish from a distant place. I wanted to punch that face in the teeth. I wanted it to shut up and leave me alone. The more it laughed, the angrier I felt.

I was roused from my sleep when I felt something brush against my mind, trying to gain access. It felt unsure, like the fleeting touch of a butterfly. For a moment I thought I had merely imagined it. But when it touched me again my mind stirred into wakefulness in an attempt to resist intrusion. I awoke with a slight start and looked around, but the lab was empty and dark save for the light of the moon. A glance at the wall clock on the far side of the lab showed I had only been asleep for less than an hour. I floated there in the darkness for some time, until the lab door suddenly opened to allow entry to my most favorite pony of all, Princess Luna.

Luna looked around the darkened lab before her eyes suddenly zeroed in on me. As she stepped closer into the moonlight I noticed this was not the Luna I knew. She was not her midnight colored self, nor was she the pale blue haired version most associate with 'Woona' but somewhere in between. Her coat was more of a deep marine color. Her hair was still the pale blue and lacked it's ethereal quality, but it was starting to move on its own already. I guess this is what she looked like while she was part way through her recovery. Her magical aura was something else entirely. She radiated such a calm gentleness, like a still pond that sparkles in the moonlight, surrounded by little wisps of fog. It struck me once again how opposite her aura was from her personality, much like Celestia. Luna seemed much more, if I dare use the term, brash, rash and easier to rile up. Yet her aura was like calm incarnate. She was staring at me with an expression that was both dejected and curious.

“This is the monster that has everypony in an uproar? The sleeper whose cries disturbed the realm of dreams?” she mused aloud.

I could see the glow of my own magical heartbeat reflected in her eyes. Eyes that looked at me with deep hidden sadness.

“We can feel thy presence spirit. And we cannot help but wonder if we are to blame for thy creation. Thy appearance so soon after our return, thy rampage through Ponyville. Yes, we heard about that. If truly we art responsible for it... “ She let out a deep sigh.

“Another blemish to our name. Another mistake that never should have been. Our sister was right, if we are to regain the trust and respect of our subjects we must own up to our mistakes and correct them. We do not know if thou art aware of us or if thou even possesses true consciousness, spirit, for we could not peer inside thy dreams. But we heard of thy intelligence and malicious behavior. We will ensure thou can't ever harm our subjects again, for we will deal with thee ourselves.”

Whoa whoa, hold your horses, princess, you are jumping to the wrong conclusions here. I might know jack about the finer workings of magic, but I'm pretty sure your return had nothing to do with me getting trapped in this damned seed. And me going on a rampage certainly wasn't your fault.

“But we will not banish thee to some wasteland for thee to slowly starve. We are not so cruel. We will grant thee the mercy of a swift end. Mine sister would have her pupil and her scientist subordinates study thee, but if thou art indeed born of mine dark magic then tis best to simply obliterate thee and be done with it, before thou can spread corruption to others. May thee find peace in oblivion.” she said as she slowly began to charge up her horn.

It was now or never. Either I got out of this tube or she would disintegrate me. I called upon all of my stored energy and forced it all into my magic. I had to break out of this tube somehow. Then an idea came to me. Well, more like a gamble born of desperation. I began creating a high pressure seed pod, like those seen on the Cyclanthera explodens - commonly known as the exploding cucumber - filled to the brim with the hardest, sharpest most jagged seeds my imagination could conjure up. It took every bit of energy I had absorbed both from Celestia and from the day's sunlight to keep the null solution from draining and thus destroying the pod. With a final burst of power I overloaded the seed pod, which blew out like an inner tube and blasted its seeds everywhere. The null solution robbed many of them of their momentum, but it could not stop them all. They hit the inside of the tube with a hard thwack and cracks began to spiderweb out from the points of impact. The pressure of the liquid did the rest and the tube shattered. I was free.

I was washed off the lab table in a rush of fluids and broken glass, just as Luna's spell blasted through the spot I previously occupied and burned a furrow into the wall behind it. Yikes! My senses, dulled for so long by the null fluid, roared back into full awareness. It felt as if I had been walking around with extra thick sunglasses and earmuffs for a week, and now they were finally gone. My magic, no longer suppressed, surged forth as vines and roots began to sprout from my core at a fast pace to finally reform a body. Luna did not take my escape attempt well. A second energy blast scorched the floor just to my left. I reached out with a vine and dragged myself under the lab table and out of Luna's line of sight.

“No no no. Thou can't get away, our sister shalt be furious with us if we let thee escape.” she began to mutter, her voice containing a hint of panic.

She tried to levitate the table, but it was bolted to the floor. I reached out with another vine and dragged myself out on the opposite end and behind a series of cabinets. Oh damn oh damn I don't wanna fight her. Shit shit shit, Celestia will drop the fucking sun on me. Think, Aeron, fucking think. Wait a second, why fight when I can finally communicate. The screeching of metal being torn as Luna ripped the table out of the floor spurred me into action. I directed my rapid growth to form some vocal chords to speak with. It turned out to be quite the task after almost a week of being unable to communicate; I had almost forgotten how to make them work. While I struggled with my magic, Luna was doing some redecorating of the room. Tearing out lab tables, cabinets and anything else in order to find me. I finally managed to shape enough vegetation into a proper voice box just as I heard her hoofsteps approach my hiding place, and called out to her.

“Stay thy hoof, Luna, Princess of the night, steward of the moon, guardian of dreams and keeper of the night sky. I am not thy enemy.”

Now before anyone calls me out on talking all fancy-like, I was merely trying to approach her in a manner more familiar to her. Remember, she's been away for a thousand years. If I addressed her like some common mare she would be even less likely to listen to me. The heavy metal table hit the floor with a dull clang as she let out a surprised yelp.

“Thou.... thou speaketh?”

“Did thee expect me to quack instead?”

“Mock us as thy like creature, but it will not dissuade us.”

“I was not mocking thee princess, merely attempting a bit of levity to defuse the tension. Please hear me, I am not thy enemy.”

“Step out where we can see thee.”

“Will you promise not to disintegrate me on sight?”

She mulled it over for a moment. “We will consider it. But no trickery!”

By now I had grown enough plant matter to form into a body. I opted to try something new. Until now I had mostly gone with a humanoid body and only tried a pony once. This time I figured I should try the best of both worlds. I decided to assume the form of a Centaur, because screw it, I like having hands. I kept it small, roughly between four and five feet tall, about the same height as your average pony stallion, using a lot of moss and willow vine to form the outer layers. It would be soft and pliable so as to look unintimidating. I gave it a featureless mask with extra large almond shaped eyes so it would appear more friendly, with thin vines to serve as hair, and slowly stepped out from behind the cabinets. Controlling six limbs at once would have been a daunting task once, but controlling this many vines had given me just enough practise to walk without looking too clumsy. I could see her eyes widen just a fraction as I stepped into view and she kept her horn trained on me at all times.

“What manner of creature art thou?”

“I wish I knew the answer to that myself princess. But I swear I am no threat to you.”

She snorted. “The citizens of Ponyville would claim otherwise.”

“Yeeeeeah,” I said whilst rubbing the back of my head sheepishly, “what happened in Ponyville was the result of a series of unfortunate events. I won’t claim to be blameless, but there were a few things going on that were beyond my control.”

“And thou expect us to believe thee? Thy could be attempting trickery. If thou really art the spawn of our other self...”

“You mean Nightmare Moon?” She flinched slightly, “I do not believe her magic was responsible for my creation.”

“We cannot be sure of that, and since our confrontation with our sisters pupil and her friends our other has been silent, so we cannot ask her.”

Wait what? Nightmare Moon isn't gone?

“You mean the parasite is still with you?”

She blinked at me. “Parasite?”

“Were you not possessed by the creature known as Nightmare Moon?”

Her eyes narrowed slightly. “We were never possessed by some creature, she has always been with us, our other self. For as long as we can remember.”

Could it be? Could she have a true split personality, but one that is fully aware of the other? That would certainly debunk the parasite theory. I was trying to think of a delicate way to broach the subject, but luckily she just kept on talking on her own.

“We... we miss her. It is strange to have not but silence in our head. When things got, difficult, she would give us strength, she would allow us to persevere. We... are unsure what to do without her. For all the wrongs she committed, she was still part of us. She protected us.”

In that moment she looked so small and vulnerable. I would have hugged her but that would probably have been a bad idea right then. I could hear the sound of hoofbeats in the distance, our little ruckus clearly hadn't gone unnoticed, and from the slight rattle that accompanied the hoofbeats it was a safe bet that whoever was coming this way was wearing armor.

“It seems we are about to have company.”

Luna looked up and her ears began to twitch and turn, then she let out a groan, “We were sure we had lost them.”

As I suspected, and feared, ‘them’ turned out to be a contingent of Celestia's royal guard. They came crashing through the lab door, horns lit and halberds raised. The pony in the lead, a large unicorn stallion, was wearing a condescending sneer. Great, bet you ten bucks this guy was some noble fop’s son who earned his position thanks to daddy's money, with an ego big enough to crush a dragon.

“Princess Luna, you were told not to go wandering about without an escort. Your sister left us with specific instructions to be at your side at all times. Now what manner of trouble did you manage to get yourself in?”

Oh good grief I was right, this guy was like Jet Set and Upper Crust turned up to eleven. And that holier than thou tone of voice made me want to smack this guy in the muzzle. He was talking to Luna like she was some inept foal not fit to be about on her own. He then seemed to notice me for the first time.

“What sort of disgusting looking creature are you associating with princess? Why ponies would think you were nothing but an uncouth commoner, hanging around with unsavory types like that.” He said in a tone that made prince blueblood sound downright pleasant and charming.

Seriously, was this guy for real? He not only fails to properly grasp the situation, but he insults both his princess and a potentially dangerous creature in one breath. Here's a prospective candidate for the Darwin awards if ever I saw one. Luna seemed to be at a momentary loss for words. I'm guessing she isn't up to her usual level of confidence yet, or she would never allow a guard to speak to her that way. Hell, she would have given him a scathing reprimand. I suppose she doesn't want to antagonize anypony or disappoint Celestia. Well lucky for me, I don't have that holding me back.

“Excuse me? Insult her Highness again and I will come over there and smack that smug look right off your face, mate,” I said with as much authority and venom as I could muster.

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’m an idiot for antagonizing a group of armed guards. And yeah you are probably right, but this guy was ruffling all my proverbial feathers (or vine leaves, speaking literally), so I was not feeling very civil. Especially after being stuck in a tube for a few days. As expected they all tensed up and pointed their weapons at me with a little more urgency. The pompous prick glared at me.

“How dare you speak to me that way, beast! You will surrender and we will take you to the dungeons where you belong.”

“Try it and I will fold you like a lawnchair, you douche canoe.”

“ENOUGH!” Luna bellowed using the royal canterlot voice. Damn, that's a lot of volume in an enclosed space.

“Guards, thou will stand down, and creature, if thou take any aggressive actions towards anypony, we will strike thee down!”

Now there's the Luna I know, strong, assertive and in control. Now hopefully, if I play my cards right, we can resolve this mess favorably for everyone.

I bowed to her. “As you wish, Princess Luna.”

“Princess, you can’t just let this, this thing roam free,” the prick protested.

“We have no intention of doing such. We will take the creature to our sister. She will want to know what has transpired and no doubt has questions.”

“Then we shall escort the prisoner.”

“There is no need, we shall take it to her directly,” Luna said as her horn began to glow.

“Uh, wait a second, what are you...” I began before I was momentarily blinded by the flash of a teleportation spell, and then blinded some more by the light of Celestia's magical aura.

I tuned down my magical vision so I could actually see what was going on. We were in the throne room, the few nobles still hanging around after the end of the day court stared at us dumbstruck. Startled guards were hurriedly pointing their weapons at me while Celestia took in our sudden appearance with a stoic mask, yet there was a hint of mirth in her eyes. Most likely she was just grateful for the interruption to the boredom of court routine.

“Luna, what is going on? And who is this?” She asked while looking first to her and then to me.

“Tis a strange tale, mine sister. Let us introduce thee to the monster of the Everfree Forest.”

Celestia's gaze hardened as she looked at me. Any hint of mirth was gone from her eyes and I could see her magical aura flaring just a bit as she rose imperiously from her throne.

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire.