Chapter 32
Story Time, part 1.

There were twenty-four of them in total. Twenty-five if you counted Shining Armor. His soldiers had formed two ranks in a semicircle formation. I stared at them silently. I could see the fear in their eyes, the sweat that leaked out from under their helmets, plastering their manes to their foreheads. Their hearts hammered against their chests so loudly it's like I was hearing an off kilter drum session. They all gripped their spears much tighter than necessary.

Even Shining Armor was eyeing me nervously, though he hid his anxiety much better than the rest of his men. Maybe it’s because we’re friends, and he knew I wouldn’t really hurt them? At least I hoped he still considered me a friend. I decided to break the silence.

“Shining, buddy. How have you been? You and Cadance doing alright?”

From his expression he clearly wasn’t expecting such a casual greeting.

“Fine. We’re doing fine. Cadance and me.” He faltered.

I made to take a step forward but all his soldiers jerked backwards and raised their weapons higher, some even made ready to throw their spears at me. Not exactly the proper use of a spear. That’s what javelins are for after all.

“Stop!” Shining told them before turning his eyes back to me. “Aeron, will you please come with us?”

“And if I say no?” I asked. No underlying threat, just a plain question.

“I was really hoping you wouldn’t. For old times sake.”

“Before I answer that, tell me, where is Trixie?”

“She’s waiting at the guard station.”

“Did your guys hurt her?”

“NO! I swear! She’s fine.“

I guess Bon Bons report about my, adverse reaction to people mistreating Trixie has made the rounds if his slightly panicked reaction was any indication.

“Then I guess I’m coming with you. My work here is done anyway.” I said as I took a step forward.

His troops nearly fell over each other as they moved to surround me, spears ready to strike. I mentally let out a tired sigh.

“Shining, please tell those boys to put their damn toys away before they hurt themselves. How much good do you think a spear will do against me anyway? I give you my word I’ll come quietly.”

He nodded. “You heard him guards-ponies.”

“But sir, the regulations.”

“Buck the regulations sergeant. They were never written with this sort of situation in mind.”

The trip from the edge of the Everfree to Ponyville took only a few minutes. In that time I tried to make smalltalk. Maybe lower the tension a bit. Shining himself seemed somewhat relaxed. Alert, but relaxed. His men on the other hoof were more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

“So, did you ask Cadance to marry you yet?”

“Uhm.. yeah, actually. The wedding is in two weeks.”

“And how is Cadance? Nervous at all?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“I don’t think Cadance does nervous. Between you and me, she’s got a bigger pair than most ponies in the guard.”

I chuckled. ”It’s a shame I never got around to meeting her before all this.”

“Why did you come back, Aeron?” Shining’s tone shifted, suddenly all business. “The princess was very clear.”

“She was very stupid is what she was.” I said flatly. Much to the ire of everypony around me.

“How dare you!” one of them yelled.

“Shut your noise hole!” I barked back, “Celestia is a wise and benevolent ruler, yes, but she’s not infallible. If you lot would take your heads out of your collective arses for a minute you would realise that. Instead you let yourself be blinded by duty and adoration. So until you take off those blinders you’re all wearing, don’t bring your ‘righteous outrage’ act to my door.”

“Aeron, I can stomach a lot but would you please stop insulting my ruler and commander.” Shining asked through gritted teeth.

I sighed out loud this time. “Look, I mean no real disrespect to Celestia. But anytime someone so much as hints at the princess being anything less than perfect there is always somepony who seems to fly off the handle as if you just took a piss in their salad, in front of them. Its getting old. Saying the princess isn’t perfect isn’t some mortal sin. And promise or no promise, I will kick the next pony that gives me shit for saying that so hard in the gonads he’ll be able to taste his own nuts.”

Shining face-hooved. “You are impossible.” he grunted in annoyance.

“No, I’m just tired and mildly pissed off after what I just went through.”

“What exactly happened in there?” Shining asked as he looked back towards the Everfree. “All we were told was that the princesses detected a massive surge of dark energy, and that we should investigate. And how did you make your way back into Equestria without anypony the wiser for that matter?”

“I won’t explain what happened in there until I’m face to face with Celestia. I don’t want to have to repeat that story any more than I have to. But I can tell you about my journey back here, If you will fill me in on a few things in exchange.”

“So long as you don’t ask me anything confidential.” He nodded.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“So how did you two get back to Equestria? Your names never showed up on any passenger lists.”

I gave him a shit eating grin. “You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.” Shining said.

*******

It was a cool morning just outside the city of Baltimare. Down by the sea, an old pony named Bait and Tackle was just getting ready for his first catch of the day. In one smooth motion he put a worm on his hook, then swung back the fishing rod. He was just about to cast out his line when something disturbed the calm waves of the sea.

Something large rose from the water. Bait had no idea what to make of the thing. It was like a mixture between a whale and a crawdad. But made entirely of coral and seaweed. Then the thing opened what he assumed was its mouth, and a blue unicorn wearing a purple, star spangled hat and cape stepped out into the sunlight and onto the shore.

The mass of coral and seaweed then sank back beneath the waves, only for another pony to emerge from the surf. A green stallion with a messy brown mane that covered his eyes, and a big pitcher plant growing out of his back. Bait could only stare slack jawed as the pony shook himself dry, then trotted up to the mare with the hat. When the pair noticed him staring the stallion grew a smirk and waved his hoof at him in a lazy circle.

“You can go about your business. We aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” he said, then the two of them trotted away into the bushes.

Bait kept staring at the undergrowth the pair had vanished behind for a minute or two longer before his brain finally decided it might be best to just forget the whole Celestia darned thing and get back to his fishing.

*******

“Whoa whoa, wait a pie polishing minute. You’re telling me, you swam across the ocean!” Shining said wide eyed.

“Told you you wouldn’t believe me.”

“The whole freaking ocean?”

“That’s right.”

“You’re right. I don’t believe it.”

“Well that’s what happened.”

“But, how does that even work? How did you eat?”

“Plenty of fish in the sea. And I could just grow fresh fruit for Trixie on the inside. Besides, the trip only took a couple of days.”

“But…. it takes at least ten days for a ship to cross the ocean at the narrowest point, and under the most favourable weather conditions.”

“Yes, but they rely on the wind. I on the other hoof can propel myself.”

Shining shook his head. Probably trying to come to grips with what I just told him.

“So you made landfall near Baltimare, and then what?” He said eventually.

“Well….”

*******

“Bwahahaha. Did you see his face?” I asked Trixie as I tried my best to keep walking straight. Which wasn’t easy with how hard I was laughing.

“Honestly, Trixie doesn’t get the joke.” she said.

“Remind me to tell you about Star Wars someday.” I said as I got the last of the giggles out of my system.

Our timing couldn’t have been better. We made landfall nice and early in the morning, so we had plenty of daylight for the first leg of our trip.

“I still don’t understand why we can’t simply write a letter to Celestia and ask her to let us do this.”

“There’s a whole bunch of reasons why not dear. For one she probably wouldn’t believe us right now. And even if she did she would likely try to meddle and try to get us to do things her way. And I’m saying ‘fuck that’, right here and now. We’re solving this my way.”

“Is that any better though? Your methods are not exactly… subtle.”

“Better than stuffing the problem under the proverbial rock for a thousand odd years. And when did you become so pro Celestia all of a sudden.”

“Trixie is not. Trixie is simply playing devil's advocate.” She said.

“I’m surprised ponies even have that expression.”

“Well of course. Devils are a type of imp. A low class trickster demon. Every magic student knows that. They are all about trickery, deceit, arguments and counter arguments. They try to find flaws in everything the mage does to try and gain the advantage. It’s a term that has evolved to describe a pony who tries to poke holes in a pony’s logic, or offers a counter argument to a point to try and expose flaws or possibly a new angle of approach.”

“Thanks for the lesson, mini Twilight.” I said with a smarmy grin.

“Hey!” Trixie sputtered in protest before she hip checked me. “Still, all this sneaking around doesn’t feel right.“

“Who’s sneaking? We’re just two ponies out for a walk. No sneaking here.” I said.

“You know what I mean.” she said before we lapsed into silence.

“So what’s with the plant?” She asked after a while, pointing to the big pitcher plant I had sprouted on my back.

“Dinner.” I said.

“Dinner?” she raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Or maybe lunch.”

I motioned her over and then lowered the plant so she could peer inside. It was full of water, and at least two dozen live king prawns.

“Since you like seafood, I figured I’d make you something special.”

She smiled. “You didn’t have to do that for Trixie.” she said coyly.

“I know. But I wanted to.” I said as I leaned in to peck her on the cheek.

A few minutes later we reached the edge of Baltimare city. I reshaped the pitcher plant on my back to make it look as if I was carrying an ordinary saddle bag. I also changed my ‘skin’ from its normal green tone, to a more butter yellow. Runic symbols appeared in the hollow of my eye sockets as I reshaped them, and after running a bit of magic through them, they triggered. Casting a simple illusion over my face that made it appear as if I had a normal set of green eyes, rather than a pair of glowing green orbs inside a black void.

“Think this will work?”

Trixie gave me a onceover. “It’s a bit plain and unassuming, it will do.”

“Hey, gotta make you look good right. The less I stand out, the more attention goes to you.”

We spent about an hour or two moving through the Baltimare trade district. A bustling market with pretty much anything you could imagine. We traded several gemstones we brought from Zebrica for bits for our trip, and then we spent a little on shopping. I managed to get my hands on some good neighponese wine, and bought some fresh vegetables and rice.

I know what you’re thinking. ‘You could have just grown those yourself.’ Which is true for some of them, but not all. So rather than waste time to pick and choose, I decided to just buy everything at once. It’s not like we were hurting for money right then. We also bought some camping supplies. Since we weren’t sure we would make it to a hotel or inn before nightfall, and neither of us wanted to sleep out in the open.

We left Baltimare with our saddlebags full, and spirits high. We decided to shave some time off our trip by cutting through the countryside, rather than follow the road the long way round. We walked through the grasslands, sticking close to the edges of the forest to provide us with some shade as we traveled west along the foal mountains. We crossed the river just past noon and decided to stop for lunch.

“This looks like a good spot.” I said as I took off the saddlebag i had been carrying. The other one morphing back into the pitcher plant it really was.

“Trixie agrees.” she said as she unstrapped her own saddlebag and bedroll.

We found a nice clear patch of ground just beyond the river near a few small boulders and bushes. Perfect site to set up camp. Or in this case, to rest and make a little fire to cook a meal. It didn’t take much to get a campfire going.

“I should have bought some cooking pots while we were in town.” I facepalmed as I realised I had nothing to cook our food in.

“Never fear, the great and powerful Trixie has the solution.” She declared with gusto. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to try out my transfiguration. What do you need?”

“Well, a pot to cook the rice in, another for the prawns, and a wok.”

Trixie gave a flourish. “Transfiguration spell, go!”

With a zap of her horn she changed several rocks into cookware. Only needing two attempts to get the wok right.

“I see you’ve been practicing. You’re getting better. But do you really have to shout ‘transfiguration spell go’ whenever you do that?”

She blushed lightly and gave my arm a little shove. “Shut up, it’s Trixie’s focus process. Don’t question it.”

“Fair enough.” I said with a grin.

“So what’s for lunch?”

“Drunken prawns with rice and vegetable stir fry.”

***

“Live prawns? You cooked her live prawns?” Shining interrupted yet again, looking a little nauseous.

“Really? That’s what you choose to focus on? What's the matter Shining, don’t like seafood?”

“Not exactly. But come on, cooking them alive? That’s just wrong.” he moaned as he swallowed.

“Tssk, and they call me the barbarian, pfft. You do realize that you are saying this to someone who is more biologically similar to a carrot, right? And I’ll have you know that it's a very common thing in neighponese cuisine.” I muttered in mock indignation while sticking my nose in the air like some Canterlot noble. Surprisingly, one or two pegasi seemed to nod in agreement, which made me smirk.

Shining let out a quiet burp, putting his hoof over his muzzle. “Alright, just skip this part, what happened after?”

“In a bit, we appear to be here.” I said as I waved my hand at the door to the guard station.

“Oh, right.”

They marched me into one of the holding cells. Trixie was already there waiting.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” she asked as she ran up to me, poking and prodding me with her magic to check for injuries.

“I’m fine, Trixie, relax.”

She smacked me on the arm with a hoof. “Don’t you ever make me worry like that again!” She yelled before hugging me.

I just patted her withers as I hugged her back. “Yes dear.”

“You two sound like a married couple.” Shining said with amusement.

“Says the groom to be.” I deadpanned. “So what happens now?”

Shining sighed. “As soon as Twilight gets here, we'll take you to the train station, and from there to Canterlot to stand trial before the princess.”

“Or you could just let us go, and we’ll go back to Zebrica, as soon as we pick up Trixie’s wagon. We could be out of your mane by dinnertime.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“You can’t stop me. If I choose to walk out of here there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. I have done what I came here to do, and now that you have brought me to Trixie, I no longer need to play nice.” I said as I grabbed the door to the holding cell.

The metal shrieked in protest before the lock gave out. Spears were leveled and horns ignited. A snarl was on my lips before I felt a hoof on my side.

“Aeron, wait.” Trixie said quietly.

I looked back to her, “What for, love? We don’t have to do as they say.”

“But we should. Otherwise you only prove them right. Let’s go to Canterlot and speak with the princess. Let’s put this issue to bed once and for all. Prove to them you’ve changed.”

I glared at the guards who waited tensely for my next move.

“Please, Aeron. For me?” she said, her voice all sultry.

Damnit, I can’t say no to her when she’s using her bedroom voice. I mentally shook my head and stepped back from the cell door.

“Alright sweetie. We’ll do it your way.”

Shining let out a breath of relief. “Please don’t do that again, I think you took ten years off my life just now.”

“Sorry.” I said, and I meant it. “I hope you know I wouldn’t hurt you right? At least, nothing you won’t bounce back from with some rest.”

“If it’s all the same to you I’d rather not fight at all.”

“Right. So how do we do this?”

“Well, you kinda broke the door.”

“You can tell the crown they can bill me.”

“Yes, I’m sure that will go over well.” Shining said with an amused smirk. “Just do me a favor and stay in the cell till its time alright?”

“Fine, fine. I don’t suppose you brought cards?”

“Not this time.” He said with a smirk.

We waited for another half hour before Twilight appeared with the rest of the element bearers in tow.

The first sign of her arrival was her voice as it echoed down the halls, as she shouted: “Where is he Shiny? I have a few choice words for him!”

“Git in line sugarcube.” Came Applejack's voice, “Yer not the only pony here who wants a word with him.”

I glanced at Trixie. “They sound mad. Any chance you could use some magic to fix that door?”

Trixie just gave me a single eyebrow raise.

One of the guards snorted. “What’s the matter tough guy? Afraid of a couple of girls?”

I fixed him with a deadpan stare. “Only an utter idiot would claim not to be afraid of an irate group of young women. Anyone who’s ever had a girlfriend would know this.”

The guard sputtered indignantly, but before he could say anything in return, Twilight burst through the door.

“There you are! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Uhm.. hi Twilight.”

“Don’t you hi Twilight me, buster.” She said loudly as she walked up and prodded me in the chest with a hoof, “How could you do that to us. Just sneaking out and vanishing all those months ago.”

“Yeah sugarcube, ya could at least have said goodbye.” Said Applejack as she entered next. “Ya have any idea how worried we all were?”

I felt a pang of guilt. “Yeah, in hindsight it was kinda stupid, and I’m sorry. But in my defense, I wasn’t really thinking straight at the time, plus I did it to protect everyone.”

“Well I for one am glad you’re back. I even baked you a ‘I’m glad you’re back but sorry you got arrested’ pie for the occasion.” said Pinkie Pie as she suddenly appeared from behind me.

How the hell she managed to get there without walking through the door first, or without my supernatural senses detecting her I’ll never know. She then proceeded to present me with a rainbow colored pie.

“That’s oddly specific. Uhm, Pinkie, is that pie, moving?” I asked, since the pie seemed to be pulsating.

“Of course, its fresh after all.” she said without missing a beat.

The crust of the pie then tore open, and a trio of parasprites popped out. One immediately belched, giving birth to a fourth one. Twilight and Applejack seemed alarmed by the appearance of the flying pests. But I must admit, I felt delighted. Several flytraps immediately jumped forth from my body and snatched the parasprites out of the air. The delicious fruity flavor of skittles filled my senses, making me smile like a loon.

“You’re the best, Pinkie. If it wouldn’t piss off my Marefriend I’d kiss you.” I said with a glance at Trixie, who stared back with a ‘don’t even think about it’ expression.

“Aww shucks, it was nothing.” said Pinkie.

Apparently it wasn’t nothing to somepony, because I spotted a rather horrified looking Fluttershy standing in the back. She was trying to hide behind Rainbow Dash, who, in typical Dash fashion was being rather aloof about the whole situation. ‘Cause, you know, she’s too cool for sappy things. It was fine with me though. I like Dash well enough, but our dynamic was that of friendly acquaintances and not much else.

“Well, I will say it is nice to see you again darling.” said the final member of the group. “Though I do wish it was under better circumstances. Really you simply must stop getting into trouble. Think of the damage to your social standing.”

Seriously? ‘What social standing?’

I did a mental facepalm before answering, “It's not like I go looking for trouble, Rarity. Okay, in this case I sort of was. But for a good cause.”

“About that.” said Twilight, “Were you the one responsible for that giant surge of dark magic a little while ago?”

“Yes and no.”

Twilight gave me a hard stare. Not liking my answer.

“Yes as in, I was there when it happened and may have had a hand in it. No the magic didn’t come from me personally.” I elaborated, trying to mollify her some.

“Care to tell us what happened exactly?”

“As I told your brother, not before I see the princess. I don’t want to retell the story twice.”

“We had best get going then. You can tell us more on the train, it’s a long ride to Canterlot.”

“Wait, you’re all coming along?”

Everypony nodded their heads affirmatively.

“Yes, the princess has requested our presence.”

Probably to zap me with the elements of harmony should things go pear shaped. Even though the damn things have no effect on me. No, stop that brain, quit being so negative.

One of the guards tried to cuff me again for the trip to the train. Not feeling like another argument, I let him. Then as soon as we were out the door I shrunk my hands a bit and let the cuffs slide off. Which of course made Twilight go into lecture mode.

“Aeron, you can’t just...”

“It’s fine. We’re almost there anyway.” Shining Armor cut her off before she could gather steam.

So we entered the train under armed guard, they reserved an entire carriage just for us. A good thing because it was pretty crowded once we were all in there. Me, Trixie, Twilight and the gang, Shining Armor, and about a dozen guards. Once we were all settled in, the train set off for canterlot. Rapidly picking up speed.

“So how did y’all do after you left Equestria sugarcube?” AJ asked once we were underway.

I took one look at Trixie before pulling her closer to me, snuggling into her side.

“It started off pretty horrid. But it worked out for us.”

Trixie and I then took turns filling them in on what happened to us during our trip to Zebrica. Everyone responded about as well as you might expect. Disgust, outrage, anger, sadness. I think Pinkie took it the hardest of them all. Openly weeping when Trixie manage to scrounge up the courage to show them her scars.

I’m telling you, watching Pinkie cry is the most uncomfortable thing ever.

“So where’s the creep who did this now?” Asked Dash, full of righteous fire.

“He’s rotting in a Zebrican dungeon somewhere, and he’s lucky to be there.”

“So when did you two get back here? And why? Not that I don’t enjoy havin’ y’all back sugarcube, but you never seem to do anythin’ without a reason.” Applejack piped up.

“Ill explain why we came back once we meet the princess. As for how we got back….”

I then told them what I told shining armor earlier. How we arrived in baltimare and made our way inland from there. When I was about to tell them about lunch shining stopped me with a queasy look.

“Fine, I’ll skip lunch. You big white pussy.” I said with a smirk at his expense. If shining had hands he would have flipped me the bird right then. His glare said it all.

“So then you guys came straight back to ponyville?” Asked Dash.

“Not exactly. We were waylayed a bit on the way to visit some old friends first.”

Author's Note

Hey y'all. Its been a while. and that's also the reason i decided to split this chapter into two parts. Since you guys already waited so long i figured I'd give you at least something, while I finish up the second half.

I totally blame my muse. She's got me working on 3 different stories at the same time. Rather than try to wrestle her into submission I just go where she wants for best results.

Anyways, happy early hearts warming, or whichever holiday it is you choose to celebrate this month.