By
Inky Shades
There was a monster in the room. Its shape was equine, but its mouth was full of thin, needle like teeth that jutted out in uncomfortable angles that didn't allow it to close its mouth. Loose sheets of colored flesh clung to its frame, appearing to be on the cusp of sliding off its body. The visage of the beast gripped Rarity in an icy fear, but there was also a flicker of anger.
Yet that anger melted away when the beast turned its head towards her. Did it turn its head or did she imagine it? Even though it had no eyes to speak of, she could feel it boring into her soul. She glanced at a sheet of fabric draped over the edge of a shelf and wanted to pull it over her body in a vain attempt to protect herself from its piercing gaze.
“Stay away from me!” Rarity said, taking an involuntary step backwards.
Any moment now, the monster would lumber towards her and rip her to pieces with its mouth of needles. There was nothing she could do to stop it for her magic wasn't strong enough to defend herself, and the monster sat in the middle of her creativeroom. In order to get out the door, she'd have to pass within a hoof-reach of it.
However, it never stirred from its spot. Though she couldn't shake the feeling that it was always a moments away from moving towards her. How did this monster even get inside her home? Did she allow this to happen?
“You've done this to yourself,” a voice as thick as fog said.
“Who said that?” Her vision swept over the room, but she couldn't see where the voice came from.
“The monster you created.”
Her eyes widened when she pinpointed the voice. The monster! But its mouth never moved. So how did it speak? Wait... “What do you mean that I created? I'd never create something so hideous!” she said, nose crinkling at the thought of her own hooves playing some roll in this monster's birth.
“You wouldn't, would you?” Even though its lips never moved, Rarity could swear that she saw the monster sneer. “I'm here, aren't I? You gave birth to me. I am a culmination of your talents.”
“No. It can't be true!” She shook her head. “I don't believe you!”
“I don't need you to believe me,” the monster said. “You know it's true.”
She refused to believe the monster. Though she heard a grain of truth in its words, she refused to let the grain take root. “You're lying!” That had to be the answer. She averted her eyes, not wanting to gaze upon the horrible, lying visage of the monster.
“Look at me!” the monster roared, and Rarity had no choice but to comply. “My existence cannot be denied. Accept the truth.”
Though the room wasn't cold, she shook where she stood. “N-No.”
“Accept it!”
Hot tears threatened to fall from her eyes. So she closed them as tight as she could, but that wasn't enough. The offending drops of water built in the corners of her eyes until she could no longer hold them back. She felt the tears stream down her cheeks. “Why are doing this to me?”
The monster chuckled. “You make it sound like what I'm saying is a bad thing. Shouldn't you be proud of me? I'm your greatest creation.”
“No, you can't be.” She wanted to deny it, but she felt the roots strangling her heart. “This can't be it.”
“Wait until the world sees me. They will know that it was you who gave me life. Everyone will know.”
“Please, no!” Rarity waved her hooves frantically. “No one can know that I made you.”
“And no one ever will.” The monster's words were so simply delivered that it sounded like the monster had spoken about a pleasant spring day, but the words made Rarity feel winter's chill. “No one will ever know you made anything.”
“W-What do you mean?”
“You will try and try and try again to give life to something that everyone will love, but no one will notice. Even if you shout it from the rooftops, they won't hear you. Even if what you create is beautiful, no one will be there to see it.” The grain took root in Rarity's heart. Then she felt the monster grin. “No one will even tell you if they hated it! You'll fall into obscurity, forgotten. It will be like you never existed.”
Tighter and tighter the roots squeezed, crushing her heart to pieces, cold and painful. Rarity's legs gave out under her. “Why do you say that? Why are you trying to hurt me?” But was the monster right? Tears streamed down her face. “This can't be right.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“Can't it? Look behind you. You have all the proof you need.”
When Rarity turned around, she saw the once beautiful creatures she'd made before the monster as nothing more than carcasses rotting in a pile in the corner closest to her desk. It was only now that she noticed their putrid smell. Her stomach churned. The sight of her beloved creations lying in such a disgraceful pile made a hot anger swell within her, but then that anger gave way to a dull ache in the remnants of her heart.
“I hate you.” Rarity sniffled.
The monster snickered. “No you don't. That's why I exist. There is love inside of me. Love that you placed there. Whether you meant to or not. And it's because of this love that I'm telling you the truth.”
“Why must you be so cruel to me?” She wiped her tears with the back of her hoof.
“The truth was never meant to be kind. Would you rather I let you falsely believe that you have a chance at creating a creature that is loved and desired by all? That hope is a much crueler fate than anything I could ever say to you.”
Was the monster right? Was there no hope of her giving life to something that would be desired by ponies everywhere? There had to be a chance. There just had to be. “Maybe if I just try again. Surly I—”
“Do you hear the desperation in your own voice?” the monster asked. “It sounds like you don't even believe your own words.”
“But I've never wanted anything more than this,” she said, looking at all the images of beautiful creations that hung on her walls. Creations that inspired her not just to create things of equal value, but to give life to things of even greater beauty.
Ever since she saw the crowds' reactions to her creations during that talent show when she was a little filly, she dreamed of making ponies smile because of something she gave life to. Was this just naïve of her to believe that she could make a living off this dream? The longer she stared at the images the further away they appeared to be. She couldn't touch the images even if she wanted to.
There were so many other ponies like her. Ponies with dreams and talents that rivaled and perhaps even surpassed her own. What made her so special as compared to them? What made her think she deserved to stand out in the crowd? Should she just... Rarity lowered her head, closing her eyes, cutting herself off from the dream that once inspired her but now only tormented her.
“Yes that's right. Give up on this ridiculous dream of yours. It will only cause you pain. You will never be happy. You will never be fulfilled. You will only be disappointed. Better to feel all this pain now than wait until later.”
“But I've tried so hard,” she said. “I have so many rejection letters that I've stopped counting them when they come in the mail.” She opened her eyes and wiped away her tears once more. “My parents don't even know about the letters. How can I tell them that I've thought about making it out on my own because no one wants to sell my dresses? There's a little boutique that recently went on sale just outside of town that would be perfect for what I need. It needs work, but I have some bits saved up, and I think it could really be something someday.”
“Tell me how is a nobody supposed to create something out of nothing?”
“I... don't know anymore,” she said.
“Rarity! Rarity, are you home?” Came a high-pitched voice from somewhere in the house.
No. Why was Sweetie Belle home early? Rarity couldn't let her little sister know about this. “Sweetie Belle can't see you!” she said.
“Why not share your creation with her? Why not share your failure?”
“She can't see me like this.”
“Rarity, is that you?” She heard Sweetie Belle's voice grow louder as she approached her room.
“Oh, Sweetie Belle,” the monster said with glee. “We're in here!”
“Stop it,” Rarity said.
“But you know you want to share your misery with her. After all, she is the only one that could ever care at this point,” the monster said. “Come quick, Sweetie Belle! Your sister wants you to feel her pain!”
“No!” A sudden burst of strength. She gripped the monster in a blue field of magic.
There was shock in the monster's unmoving face. “What are you doing?” Surprise in its voice.
She threw the monster to the right and into the shelf that lined the wall. It shook with the impact, spools of fabric toppling onto the floor, partially covering the monster in strips of color.
The door shot open, catching Rarity's attention instantly. Sweetie Belle stood in the doorway. “Rarity, are you okay? I heard a loud crash and your voice and thought that—” She glanced around the room. “What happened in here? Why are all your dresses in the corner?”
“Those ratty things?” Rarity asked. “I was just going to throw them out.”
“Throw them out? Are you crazy?” Sweetie Belle walked towards the dresses.
When she saw her sister by the monster, Rarity said, “Don't walk near that thing!”
Sweetie Belle stopped. There was a puzzled look on her face when she glanced at the monster. “It's just a mannequin,” she said before continuing to the dresses.
Rarity blinked a few times, not believing her sister's words, but she was right. Where the monster used to be was only a simple mannequin. Where did the monster go? Or had it always been as such? Her steps were slow when she approached the mannequin, fearing that its innocent appearance was just a guise to lure her into a false sense of security before transforming back into its monstrous form.
Yet when she removed the spools from atop the mannequin, it never turned back. Its flesh, she realized, was little more than the failed dress she'd been working on all afternoon before she went to check on the mail. While its teeth were only the needles she'd haphazardly shoved into the mannequin's muzzle when she'd given up on the dress after reading her latest rejection letter.
“Just a mannequin...” Rarity whispered to herself even though she didn't quite believe it. Even if it was true.
Sweetie Belle ran her right hoof through the dress pile. “They're so pretty. How can you want to get rid of these?” She turned to look at her, and Rarity knew she had to give her an answer.
“They're not good enough,” Rarity said. If they were as pretty as her sister suggested then at least one of the labels she submitted to would have accepted her.
“Not good enough?” Sweetie Belle gave her an incredulous look. “Look at this one,” she said, pulling a dress from the pile.
But Rarity turned her head. “There's nothing to see.”
“Nothing at all.” She heard the whisper of the monster's voice.
“Rarity?” There was hesitance in her sister's voice when she said her name. “Are you okay?”
She saw the concern etched on Sweetie Belle's face and knowing that she was the cause of her sister's worry made her eyes water. “I-I'm fine... Why don't you go play in the yard?”
“Not until you tell me what's bothering you.” Sweetie Belle sat down beside her.
Should she tell her sister what was bothering her?
“Share your pain.” Another whisper.
No. She didn't want to burden her sister with her problems. “I'm fine. Honestly.” Rarity offered her sister a small smile meant to reassure her, but as her lips turned up, she felt how disingenuous the smile was.
“No you're not,” Sweetie Belle said, placing a hoof on Rarity's back.
That did it. As soon as her sister touched her, she felt the tears rush down her cheeks. “I just can't do it anymore!” Rarity sniffled.
“Can't do what?”
“All of this.” Rarity gestured to the room.
“All of—Wait a second. Are you talking about your dresses?”
Rarity nodded.
“But you're the bestest dress maker in Equestria!” Sweetie Belle said. “Why would you say that?”
Her sister sparked a small flicker of joy inside her ruined heart, but it didn't last. Sorrow came back like a wave crashing on the shoreline of a beach, snuffing the flicker out, turning it to smoke.
“Because of this!” She didn't even have to look at her latest letter to know that it sat on the center of her desk. Wrapping it in magic, she levitated it over to herself and dropped it on the floor.
“What's this?” Sweetie Belle picked up the letter and started reading. It didn't take her long to put the letter down. “They don't know what they're talking about,” she said with a nod of her head. “You shouldn't let one letter get to you.”
“But it's not just one!” Rarity concentrated on her desk and pulled out one of the drawers. When she flipped it over, dozens of letters rained onto the floor. “Don't you see how many there are? They can't all be wrong, can they? Maybe they see something wrong with me that I can't see.”
“There's nothing wrong with you, though.” Sweetie Belle glanced back at the pile of dresses. “Ah! Give me a second. I'll be right back.”
“Okay.” Rarity sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her right hoof. Goddess, she had to look terrible.
“As terrible as your dresses,” the monster chided.
Why couldn't the monster leave her alone? It won. She now knew that she had no discernible talent to speak of. The monster should be celebrating its victory and leaving her to wallow in self-loathing. There was no need for it to subject her to this additional torment.
“I'm back,” Sweetie Belle said, carrying one of her dresses.
“Why do you have that?” Rarity asked.
“Tell me what you see.”
“Well.” Rarity gave the dress a quick once over. “The colors are uninspired and the chain stitching near the hemline is a little sloppy in places.” Further proof that she didn't have any right to call herself a designer with such amateurish mistakes.
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Do you know what I see? I see the light yellow and how you told me you picked the color because it captured the feeling of a spring morning.”
“I mean, it still may not be the most inspired color choice, but I guess I had a good reason for choosing it,” Rarity said.
“Mmhmm, and who cares if you messed up a little on the pattern? Everything else is practically perfect. Plus you sewed it all by hoof. That's super hard to do.”
“I don't know about that,” Rarity said. “You just need to have the patience and—”
“Stop selling yourself short.” Sweetie Belle frowned, pointing a hoof at Rarity. “That's like really cool that you can do that!”
A smile crept onto Rarity's face. Except this time it was genuine. Her sister was right. She had been selling herself short as of late. Perhaps it was unfair of her to be so hard on herself. Maybe—
“But what does she know about fashion?” the monster asked. “She's only saying these things because she's your sister and doesn't want to see you upset.”
Sweetie Belle wouldn't lie to her. Not about something like this.
“She would.” The monster sounded desperate, like it needed Sweetie Belle to be lying.
But Rarity knew her little sister. She wouldn't. The monster hissed in pain. Did this mean she should try submitting her designs again?
“You will fail.” The monster's words sounded like they traveled through gritted teeth.
“Rarity, I believe in you.” Sweetie Belle embraced her. “Now, can you just believe in yourself?”
A warmth built within Rarity as she felt her heart mend. Tears gently rolled off her face, but these tears felt different. They were happy. She returned her sister's hug with interest. And in this moment, she knew. There would be no more submissions. She would buy that boutique. She would make it on her own. She would listen to her sister and believe in herself.
She felt the monster's presence, but it was weak. “It will never wor—”
Enough! And like that, she could feel the monster start to fade.
“You may have silenced me this time, but I will always be with you.” Yet, even as it faded to nothing, she felt the monster's horrible smile to the last second.
“Thank you,” Rarity said, holding her sister as close to her as she could.
“You're welcome.” Sweetie Belle peered up at her. “For what?”
“For believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself.”
There was never a monster in the room. The monster lived inside of her the whole time. However, now it was dormant, waiting for its moment to strike back. Yet as long as she believed in herself, she knew that she could stand up to the monster should it rise once more. And if for some reason she couldn't handle the darkness inside of her alone, she knew that she could rely on her sister to help her find the light again.
