Abi Jane

by MintyJoy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Human
Length: 2213

In this silly humanized story, Trent falls for a girl by the name of Abi Jane, only to be in for an unexpected surprise.

This was a silly short story I wrote at work when I was bored. Not wanting others to know who I was writing about, I changed the names. After finishing it, I found it funny enough with the new names that I never changed them back. See if you can tell who each character is! :derpytongue2:

(Every single character is based even slightly off of a MLP character)

Cover art credit goes to semehammer.

Also, I don't mean to offend anyone. If you are offended by this story, I am deeply sorry and offer an electronic hug in recompense.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-06 18:37:52 UTC

Abi Jane

I first spotted her in the grocery store. I was with my roommate Ray, getting necessary groceries like Ramen and milk when we were passing through the produce aisle and there she was: Tall, firm stature, sun-tanned skin with long messy blonde hair. She was inspecting the apples, turning them over in her strong hands. She was wearing a plaid red shirt and some worn blue jeans, and underneath those you could just see a pair of cowgirl boots. She looked up as we passed, and I caught eye contact with her mesmerizing, brilliant green eyes. She was stunning. Ray grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me away into the next aisle, and shook me.

“Earth to Trent!”

“”What??” I asked, annoyed.

“Don’t you know it's impolite to stare?”

“I wasn’t staring!” I could feel my cheeks heat up a little.

“Your tongue was hanging out of your head!!”

“It was not...”

“Dude, that girl could crush you. She’s a freakin’ giant.”

I stared Ray, who was a foot and a half shorter than me.

“Maybe she could crush you, Ray, but I would be fine. Besides, I wasn’t staring. I just happened to look her way.”

Ray rolled his eyes, but let go of me. I quickly went back into the fruit aisle, but to my disappointment, she was gone. After a few laps around the grocery story and some serious bashing on Ray for making me lose her, we left.

I didn’t see her again until months later when second semester started. It was the first day of my agriculture class, and I walked up to a higher seat so I wouldn’t be noticed doodling on my papers out of boredom, and as I sat down, she walked in. I literally rubbed my eyes, praying I wasn’t dreaming. There she was, still tall and sun-tanned and gorgeous. She sat a few rows ahead of me, and she was all I could look at for the entire class. When the class was dismissed, I grabbed my books and papers and shot for the door, barely able to catch her. She was halfway down the hallway when I skidded into view of her and shouted,

“Hey!!”

She turned around, confusion written on her face. I flew down the hallway and slowed in from of her.

“H-huff-hi! I, I’m Trent!” I shifted the papers in my arms and extended a hand for a handshake. She just raised an eyebrow.

“Um..” my mind raced as I tried to think of something to say. “we have agriculture class together..?

“Oh..” she said, and smiled. “Ah must’ve not seen ya. Nice to meet ya, uh, Trent.” She took my hand and gave it a firm shake.

“The pleasure is all mine!” I said with a big smile. “What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“The name’s Abi Jane. Well, Ah gotta go now, see ya later.”

She walked away, and I just stood there, watching her go. Her southern accent only added to her attractiveness, and by then I was absolutely starstruck.

From then on, I always rushed after agriculture class to catch up with her and have a little conversation. The conversations were always short, and sometimes a little awkward, but totally worth it. I never had the guts to actually sit next to her, so I just sat a few rows back and admired from a distance. However her distraction resulted in some poor grades in the class, and I was having a hard time not flunking out.

“This agriculture class is sure getting to me,” I mentioned in one of our short conversations.

“What do ya mean?”

“I can’t keep up, and I just don’t get it! I didn’t know plants and dirt could be this complicated. I think I might have to drop out...”

She stopped walking, and I stopped to look at her.

“If ya want, Ah could maybe help teach ya. When’s yer lunch?”

My face lit up like a lightbulb. We planned for lunch on next Tuesday and soon enough she was tutoring me agriculture. It wasn’t too hard, and I soon got it, but I decided to play dumb so we could keep our time together. We kept this up until the end of the semester, when finals were close on the horizon. It came to the last Tuesday before the agriculture final, and I was actually concerned on how well I would do. We had grown quite the friendship between each other over the past few months, and we talked a lot during our study sessions.

“Can we go over the study packet again? I’m not sure I got it all.”

“Again?? Trent, we’ve been through it like fifty times!”

“I know, I know, but I want to be ready for this test.”

Abi Jane smiled. She then checked her watch.

“Tell ya what, how about you come over to mah place on Thursday night and we can go over it again? Ah’ve got to get to mah next class.”

I just blinked at her.

“So, how does that sound? Are ya open then?”

“Uh... yes! Um, y-your place, Thursday. You’ll text me your address?” I couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Sure thing, sugarcube. See you then.” She then picked up her bags and books, and walked away.

I immediately whipped out my phone and texted Ray.

Me: DUUUUUUUUUUUDE

Ray: What is it man?

Me: You won’t BELIEVE what just happened!!! :DDD

Ray: Trent what is it

Me: I just got a date with Abi Jane ;)

Ray: No you didn’t

Me: Ok no I didn’t..

Me: But she did invite me over to her place to study this Thursday

Ray: Cool

Me: You’re no fun.

Ray: Nope.

Slowly but surely, Thursday rolled around. I wore the nicest sweater vest I could find, and a scarf. I also packed a couple packets of  just-add-water apple cider, should the occasion call for it. I showed up a good 5 minutes early, with all my books and papers, and knocked on the apartment door. I waited for the door open, a grin on my face. Slowly, the door knob turned and I let out a welcome.

“Hey Abi Jane I’m her--”

“Who are you?”

I open my eyes in shock to see standing in the doorway a girl that is most definitely not Abi Jane. She was much shorter, with mixed colors in her hair, wearing a tank top with a Blue Angels logo and some shorts. I just blinked at her for a second, and then checked my phone to double check the address.

“Is.. um. Is Abi Jane there?”

The girl glared at me.

“Yeah, she is.”

I stood there for a moment longer, and gave her an awkward smile.

“So, um, can I see her?”

“No.” Said the girl, and slammed the door.

Completely confused, I remained on the doorstep. Behind the thin apartment door I heard a bit of yelling.

“AJ!!!! WHY IS THERE A HIPSTER OUTSIDE ASKING FOR YOU??”

Suddenly, the door reopened.

“Sorry!” Said Abi Jane with a weak smile. “Robin is still learnin’ to use her manners when it comes to guests.”

She offered me inside, and tentatively I stepped into the apartment.

The apartment was lovely, very country styled with a homey feel. I straightened my glasses and smiled as I put my books down on a coffee table next to Abi Jane’s. Someone bumped into me, nearly knocking me over.

“Watch it, hipster.” Growled the girl that Abi Jane called Robin. She plopped onto the couch and picked up a game controller, a sucker in her mouth, and put her feet up on the coffee table on top of my books.

Abi Jane reentered the room, and frowned.

“RD.” She growled.

“What?”

“Git yer feet off the coffee table. And introduce yourself to Trent.”

“Who?”

“Trent.” Abi Jane grit her teeth and came over to me, and pointed to my face.

Robin looked up from her game, and put it on pause. She then pulled the sucker out of her mouth and sat up, taking her feet off the coffee table.

“Hiya hipster. The name’s Robin Davis. You studying algebra with AJ tonight?”

“Agriculture, actually...” I said with a weak laugh.

“Yeah whatever.”

“Um.. nice to meet you Robin..” I thought about offering my hand for a handshake, but she had already picked up the controller again, resuming the racing game she was playing.

Abi Jane picked up our studying supplies and carried them into the other room. We went through the packet, and the rest of our study session went smoothly. Nothing very exciting happened, but I enjoyed myself.

Soon it was late, and we needed sleep for the finals the next morning, so I was headed out. As she was walking me to the door, my curiosity got the best of me.

“Hey, Abi Jane?” I asked.

“Yeah? What is it sugarcube?”

“Uh... do you have any idea why your roommate doesn’t like me? I didn’t mean to offend her if I did...”

Abi Jane stopped.

“Mah roommate?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “You know, Robin.” I kept walking forward, and reached for the doorknob.

“Oh,” Abi Jane let out a chuckle. “RD’s not mah roommate.”

I turned around and looked at her.

“S-she’s not?”

Robin entered the room then, a smug look on her face. She came up beside Abi Jane, and grabbed her hand.

“I’m her wife, stupid.” She said.

My jaw literally dropped.

“H-how old are you??”

“Twenty one.” Said Abi Jane. “Robin’s still twenty, so she still didn’t get any of mah hard apple cider at the wedding.

“Yeah, and the juicebox still wasn’t funny.” Said Robin.

“H-h-how long??”

“Our one-year anniversary is next week, dodo.” Said Robin.

“B-b-b-b-b-but she doesn’t have a ring!!”

“Ah lost it at the beginning of the semester, Rob’s been workin’ her tail off to get me another one..” Said Abi Jane, and she looked down and Robin.

“I told you that you could wear mine until I get it too..” Pouted Robin, looking up at her.

“You know that tiny thing wouldn’t fit on mah pinkie...” teased Abi Jane.

“Aw shuddup.” Said Robin.

And then the two started to kiss.

I felt like I was going to puke. I fumbled for the doorknob, unable to take my eyes away. They just kept going and going, and finally I grabbed the doorknob and flew out the door, screaming in horror the whole way.

In the car, with tears streaming down my cheeks, I texted Ray.

Me: Raaaaaaaaayyyy ;_____;

Ray: What

Me: Abi Jane is married

Ray: Ouch. Who’s the lucky man?

Me: She’s a lesbian.

Ray: Oh. Wow.

Me: This is the worst day ever DX

Ray: I’m sorry man.

Me: I don't think I will ever fall in love with a girl ever again TTnTT

Ray: It’s ok man. I’m not into girls either.

Me: Ok

Me: Wait

Me: Ray

Me: What does that mean?

Me: Ray?

Me: Ray??

Me: RAY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

Ray: I think you know what that means.

Me: RAY OH MY GOSH NO

The End

**Alternate Ending**

**Alternate Ending**

Robin Davis slammed the apartment door.

“HAH! We showed him!” She laughed.

Abi Jane took off her boots and slumped on the couch.

“Ah guess so...”

“What number is that? Like, four hipster stalkers I’ve had to scare away?” Rainbow asked, leaning over the back of the couch so her head was beside Abi’s.

“Ah think it’s five.” Abi Jane continued to frown, staring at the coffee table.

“What?” Robin asked, seeing her friend was a little off. “Did you actually like him?”

Abi Jane raised her head.

“Oh no, he was definitely creeping out. It’s just... I feel maybe that one was a little too harsh.”

“Harsh? What do you mean? Like how I put my feet on his books, or called him hipster?”

“No... that was ok. Rude, but ok. Ah mean...”

Abi Jane turned and looked at Robin.

“Did you really have to kiss me?”

Small beads of sweat appeared on Robin’s brow.

“Uh... I was just trying to sell the act. Ya’know, like, uh, super convince him.”

“You didn’t kiss me with the other guys.” Abi Jane pointed out.

“Uhh, heheh...” Robin laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. “I guess I got carried away. It won’t happen again.”

There was a stiff silence between the two girls.

Rainbow rubbed her sweaty palms together, and looked away from Abi Jane.

“Did you like it?” she asked quietly, so nervous her voice cracked.

The silence got heavier as Abi Jane looked straight ahead. She then grabbed a paper cup from off the coffee table, and took a swig of the contents inside. She set it back down, and without looking at Robin she replied in an equally quiet tone.

“Yes.”

Neither said a word for several minutes. Finally, Abi Jane spoke.

“Well, Ah’m gonna hit the hay. Ah got finals tomorrow.” She stood up, and headed to the bedroom.

“G’night,” said Robin.

As Abi Jane left, Robin couldn’t help but smile a little to herself. She wasn’t sure what exactly just happened, but one thing was for certain: she couldn’t wait for the next hipster.