Forgiveness

by Manaphy

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 4973

Despite making amends with Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer wonders if she has truly earned forgiveness.

Starlight Glimmer couldn't be more relieved that everything ended well for her, Twilight Sparkle, and time itself. Yet despite going through life with a genuine smile on her face for the first time in ages, an ache in her chest suggests that not all is well.

Perhaps she never truly earned forgiveness. Starlight wonders if her reactions were so unjustified to where being forgiven would be impossible. And most of all, she ponders whether the punishment she feared would come crashing down on her. A peculiar letter addressed to her also doesn't help matters.

Her only viable option is to talk with Twilight.

Published 2016-01-09 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-09 22:10:01 UTC

Closure

When it came to life, Starlight Glimmer knew that some things were destined to confuse her.

Despite all of the time travel shenanigans and the unraveling of her equality cult, the fact she was ultimately forgiven by Twilight Sparkle was what puzzled Starlight more than anything else. This was the same Twilight she tried to subdue and ruin, going so far as to meddle in a filly's race with some bullies. Of course, those interruptions never came to fruition due to her rival stopping her. Even those treacherous timelines she supposedly created may have been wiped from existence.

However, the hurt she caused Twilight still happened.

They were the only ones who knew of the alternate timelines and how damaging they were, some of them beyond repair or saving.

She couldn't have truly earned forgiveness after what happened.

While she never had the intent of severely hurting anypony, even during the moments where rage wrestled control of her mind and when bitterness and jealousy both pushed her over the edge, her actions were wicked enough to warrant scolding instead of sympathy. Messing with time and coercing or forcing ponies to surrender their cutie marks was one thing, yet a scratch across the cheek churned her stomach at the thought.

The few moments where she reacted with force instead of her usual method of persuasion were among the incidents Starlight regretted the most. A sigh left her lips upon recalling those memories.

Starlight figured she'd have to be dreaming if she received anything but judgmental eyes or a strict punishment.

Her past and future was all her mind stewed over throughout most of the week.

Today was no different. Starlight spent much of her morning practicing the same ritual; she paced back and forth in her bedroom. It was a modest room all things considered, certainly multiple steps above anything Our Town provided while she ruled there. The bed was actually soft and comfortable, perfect for sinking into the cushions and loosening her muscles. The sunlight peeping through the closed window and illuminating the bed breathed life into the room. Cabinets and trinkets that adorned the room also made it more homely in her eyes.

Starlight was content with the typical cottage such towns provided.

Yet her headache refused to vanish.

"I just don't get it," muttered Starlight. She crept up to the window, opening it up as a soft creak reached her ears. In a flash, she was greeted by the sunlight as the growing community known as Ponyville bustled before her. "How is this town not cowering in fear at my mere presence?" Not many ponies trotted toward her fenced garden, though a few sniffed the roses that adorned it. Most were making beelines toward their destination from what she noticed. Starlight then glanced at three fillies hopping around with smiles brighter than the sun. "Do Princess Twilight's words have that much power here? Am I missing something?"

Before Starlight had a chance at stepping away from her window, she spotted a gray mare flew toward the cottage's mailbox, a large saddlebag wrapped around her waist. The blue hat and vest she wore signified her position as one of the town's mailmares, this particular mare known as clumsy but reliable. Bumping into things by accident was something she often performed by accident. But whenever she was delivering mail, the mare never crashed into objects. It was a unique combination in Starlight's eyes.

Ponyville itself was unique.

She still couldn't shake off the idea that she never truly earned forgiveness. If this was before her plan to get back at Twilight, she'd have devised a plan at promoting equality to the mailmare and everypony fifty hoofsteps away from her, but all she spotted was a charming pony and a lively community.

"If I'm earning my place here, I need to prove it," said Starlight. She shuffled away from the window, slamming it shut as a harsh thud echoed in the air. "To think that I went from acting superior to acting inferior." Turning away from the window, Starlight stuck her tongue out and pretended to hack up something. She clenched her chest, cringing. "Moping won't get me anywhere. I'd receive comfort, but nothing else, and it's not like I can fake moping. That would be wrong." She stomped on the floor and resumed pacing back and forth. "I could rebuild that torched library—somehow."

Starlight shook her head. While she was already gifted in the art of magic and sneaked into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns as a filly, even she knew repairing a charred tree was beyond her ability. After all, while she knew spells such as limited aerial mobility and advanced time travel that rivaled the greatest unicorns who ever lived, such an idea was leagues beyond what she was capable of.

There was always much to learn.

It was a phrase she winced at whenever it crawled into her ears.

This time, such a phrase was true.

Starlight's throat tightened.

"I could always just take this step by step," Starlight continued. She tapped her hoof on the ground. "Maybe if I express my kindness and exhibit acts of heroism, I can prove to myself that I have earned redemption. I do feel guilty for what I did and that unfortunate incident—" Starlight clenched her teeth and gulped "—doesn't justify what I did. With that in mind, I think I know how to move forward."

Her chest tickled.

"If he shows up, everything will become much more awkward." A sigh left Starlight's lips. "I'm sure Twilight will understand that."

Wiggling her legs, Starlight then trotted down the staircase and entered the living room. She glanced over to where the kitchen was. Licking her lips, Starlight yearned for a cup of coffee and one of Griffonstone's now famous scones, though with a mission looming above her like a dangling sword overhead, such trivial matters could've waited a bit longer.

"I know I've been here for a week," whispered Starlight. "But today marks the actual first day of the new Starlight Glimmer." She took a deep breath, though her chest tightened nonetheless. "Here we go."

Starlight pushed the front door open. Upon stepping outside, her hooves tickled as they graced the blades of grass. Their dew-covered surface sparkled before her. It was a dazzling sight as far as she knew. Such spectacles were foreign to her for ages ever since she first established Our Town. The skies were clear as well, a positive omen if she were superstitious.

Superstitions wouldn't save her here, however.

Starlight closed the door behind her, swiftly locking it. A click rang in the air. Yet her cheeks tautened, the sensation that somepony was right behind her clinging to her brain. With pale cheeks, Starlight glanced behind her shoulder, the gray pony from before standing right behind her.

Shuddering, Starlight stepped back, eyes widened. "Y-you surprised me!" she blurted out. With a deep breath, Starlight then rubbed her forelegs and straightened her posture. "Anyway, what do you need?"

"Sorry," the mare said. She giggled, rubbing the back of her neck as her eyes darted aimlessly. A second later, they eventually locked onto Starlight. "Anyway, I usually don't do this for most ponies, but I've got a letter here for you from Princess Twilight." The mare extended her foreleg, a violet envelope clenched in her hoof. "I'm told it's quite important, and whenever a princess has important messages to share, I'm there in a jiffy."

Starlight slowly brought her hoof toward the envelope. Sweat poured down her mane, the envelope's contents teasing her the longer she gawked at it. "Well, is the envelope good news or bad news?"

The mare shrugged. Her eyes swiveled in opposite directions, head tilted. "When Princess Twilight dropped this envelope off, she seemed rather happy. I never asked her what it was for. That's protocol and all." She took a quick breath. "But as I was saying, if her demeanor was anything to go by, she was super-relaxed. Also, if it's as bad as you think it might be, she'd have made the Royal Guard send the note to you instead." Cracking the slightest of smiles, the mare released another snicker. "I'm just your normal pony. Nothing more, nothing less."

A sigh left Starlight's mouth, muscles loosening. "I guess that clears part of it up." She paused for a moment. "But I have a few questions. First, how come the princess didn't deliver it herself? Was she busy at the time or something?"

The mare bobbed her head. "Yep. She's preparing for Princess Luna's visit."

Starlight cocked her head. "Princess Luna?"

"Yeah, they're meeting up with each other today. Nothing serious, however. Then again, I don't know what they're gonna talk about, so I'm not the best pony to ask here." The mare shrugged. "Maybe you could ask one of Twilight's closest friends. They usually know what she's up to."

Nodding, Starlight feigned a smile across her visage. "Got it. Lastly, what's your name?"

"Derpy Hooves. You can call me Derpy for short." Flapping her wings, Derpy became airborne as a slight breeze brewed underneath her. She slowly nudged away from Starlight, waving enthusiastically at her. "Nice to meet ya! Anyway, I've got a bunch of other letters to deliver, so I guess we'll talk later." Pausing, she turned away, maintaining eye contact. "See ya, Starlight!"

"Goodbye!"

Starlight calmly waved back at Derpy, the latter a mere speck in the skies seconds later. While she wondered how Derpy already knew her name, the letter addressed to her on the envelope answered her question in the blink of an eye. She'd have giggled in response if her heart wasn't thrashing about. Even though the letter was stated to not be anything serious, the hypothesis that it was setting up a punishment lingered nonetheless.

"Well, I was pleasant to Derpy," Starlight murmured. "She seems friendly enough." With her horn lit in a bright blue aura, the envelope hovered beside her whilst covered in the same glow. "But I don't know if it's a trap or not. It's not that I don't trust Twilight, but after everything that we've been through, I think—" she sighed, sitting down and sulking "—I wouldn't blame her if she was still bitter about it. She had to have spared me right there for a reason, right?"

Starlight scanned the environment around her. The similar crossbeam cottages littered the fields, standing as tall as ever, though the crystalline structure piercing the sky dominated much of the scenery. She knew it was Twilight's current abode, a gaudy structure more fitting for the Crystal Empire than a formerly small town, but if Twilight was seeking to punish her for whatever reason, it'd have occurred there.

Maybe she was planning an endless nightmare via Luna's arcane abilities. Starlight cringed at the thought, her blood freezing. As fitting a punishment for her crimes as it may have been according to a hypothetical few ponies, she figured Twilight was nowhere near cruel enough to enact such a sentence.

Knowing Twilight, Starlight figured it'd be something like being trapped in a labyrinth made of books, Starlight having to peruse the ones based on friendship and harmony in order to find a way out. She had the means to escape such a theoretical maze. Friendship was something she was willing to open up to after all that had happened in the past. Five ponies considered her a friend if their words were true; Twilight was supposedly one of them.

"I should head on over to that castle either way," Starlight continued. She trudged forward; a tingling sensation flowed throughout her body. "There's no way I'm going to get anywhere by just fearing what could happen. Politely chatting with Twilight may be my only way to lessen the punishment or find out what she expects of me." She bit her tongue momentarily, Starlight wincing in response. "There must be a reason all of this is happening. I just need to find out why."

And as Starlight pressed forward, calmly waving to passersby as she trotted down the grassy roads, getting to the bottom of this situation was what she planned on doing. There was no reason to hide the truth regarding her questions. Either Twilight wanted her punished or she was just forgiving in nature.

Starlight wondered if she was her own worst enemy moving forward.

She shook her head. That was impossible, especially given how she always trusted her instinct.

Or were things different this time?

Maybe things wouldn't have turned out different.

Starlight's trip was the epitome of dull and monotonous; it consisted of surveying the different cottages and spotting the locals mingling with each other, their topics about as inane as they could've been. Most of the gossip centered around whatever upcoming events were scheduled or more private matters, but as Starlight listened in on the different conversations, few ever mentioned her.

The most Starlight ever heard about her was how she was the new pony in town. Nopony even mentioned her past mistakes, Starlight arching an eyebrow in response. Her throat tightened. Why Twilight never bothered explaining the situation to others poked her nerves. There had to have been a valid reason as to why she hid her mistakes from most of the town.

After two or three minutes of trudging across the grass, Starlight arrived at the castle, the structure casting a shadow over her. The crystals which adorned it from head to hoof shone brightly; Starlight squinted and averted her gaze at one point. It wasn't the most egregious sight she had seen, but the brightness was just enough to where asking if Twilight could've toned it down was the second item on her agenda.

At least the castle itself was out of the way.

"You can do this, Starlight Glimmer," she whispered. She shivered, teeth clacking together. "It's just talking to Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and the most powerful pony in all of Equestria. There's no way this can go poorly for me, right?" Sweat cascaded down her forehead like a waterfall. Her pupils shrunk. "There's no way this can't go poorly for me, right?"

Starlight swallowed a lump. Either it was now or never.

She crept up to the golden door with heavy steps.

Starlight lifted her hoof up, gently knocking on the smooth surface. Chills coursed through her spine.

A harsh clang split her ears.

Seconds later, the door crept open, a purple mare standing behind it. Given that her stature was slightly taller than other ponies in addition to the horn and wings that defined her, Starlight knew it was Twilight. A radiant smile adorned her visage; it grew in size upon making eye contact with Starlight.

A surreal warmth wrapped around Starlight. Her stomach churned in response, cheeks pale.

"How can I help you?" asked Twilight, her tone chipper. "I'm assuming you got the letter, right?"

Starlight nodded, showing the unopened envelope to Twilight. She then pursed her lips.

"That's excellent, but—" Twilight arched an eyebrow "—but you haven't opened it yet. Is everything okay? Can I help you out with something?"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle," said Starlight. She exhaled and her chest puffed out. "I'd like to ask you a few questions, please. Given our troubled relationship, I feel as though you're the only one who can properly answer these questions." Pausing for a moment, she nudged closer to Twilight. Starlight closed her eyes shut for a second and winced. "More specifically, I think I need some closure. Otherwise, I'll probably lose my mind again."

"Closure?" Twilight tilted her head. She rolled her shoulders. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's about why you forgave me."

Twilight nodded. "That's easy enough." Stepping back, she stepped to the side and extended her forelegs. "We can talk all about that when we're inside. In fact, my special guest has a few words of wisdom that should help you. I'm confident that you know about Princess Luna, but you've also heard about Nightmare Moon, right?"

Starlight slowly nodded. "I'm only vaguely familiar."

She bit her lip. Nightmare Moon's defeat was one of the major events that defined what Equestria became. It was a day Starlight yearned to slap herself for forgetting. That Sonic Rainboom was likely a pivotal moment for the future given the alternate futures she either witnessed or was informed about.

"Well, do you want some background information on it?" Twilight gestured toward Starlight, the latter entering through the doorway. "I do know quite a bit about that particular tale, especially given its more recent details."

Starlight shook her head. "I'm good."

The door behind Starlight slammed shut. With widened eyes, she shivered and sprung into the air. Much to her surprise, the hallways kept much of their usual brightness, clacks echoing as Starlight landed on her hooves.

Twilight maintained eye contact with the mare as she trotted forward.

Somehow, she still maintained that soft smile which perplexed Starlight. Such a grin was too jubilant. The mere sight prodded Starlight's nerves. Twilight had to have something in store for her, something involving punishment, but any ideas Starlight thought of were immediately tossed aside. Twilight didn't seem to be the kind of mare who sought vengeance with her relaxed posture and visage, though such traits could've been a facade as far as Starlight knew.

"I'm honestly not surprised that you have a few questions about your forgiveness," Twilight continued. At last, she replaced her expression with a more modest one. Starlight's chest loosened a tad; she no longer dreaded her muscles crushing her bones. "After all, between the troubles you were involved in regarding the equality cult and the time travel mess, I'd have expected a verbal lashing if I was in your horseshoes."

"I was expecting a little bit more," said Starlight. "A lot more, actually."

"Well, you do know that I'm the Princess of Friendship, right?"

Starlight merely bobbed her head.

"As such, part of my duty is to spread friendship throughout Equestria and the world as a whole. Some may reject friendship to the end, but what you and others I've met have shown is that you're willing to give friendship a try. You truly desire to become a better pony, and that's a part of why I forgave you."

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "W-what do you mean? I could've been faking it the whole time."

"I've been around enough ponies to pick up on certain cues." Turning toward Starlight, Twilight then winked. "Trust me, I've seen a lot ever since I received these pair of wings and the title itself. After enough encounters, you start understanding the whole world around you a little bit better. In fact, I forgave somepony just like you."

"Like me?"

"It's a long story involving a magic mirror." Twilight chuckled. "It's somewhat difficult to believe, if I must be honest, but know that you're definitely not alone." Twilight turned back to the world in front of her, Starlight following suit. "In fact, my other guest probably has a few words of her own she'd be willing to share."

Before Starlight was a small yet gleaming room. Six tall thrones and a seventh, smaller one surrounded a circular table, the map of Equestria visible atop it. The hairs of Starlight's coat stood up at the sight; the aforementioned map exuded a peculiar power. And while she was right beside it before, such tingling sensations always felt distinct. It was as though the map was calling to her in a way and asking if she'd be more than welcome to partake in missions.

Such concerns could wait.

Princess Luna's presence captured Starlight's attention, the mare sitting on one of the thrones with her forelegs stretched out and a slight smile adorning her face. Her flowing mane was much like the night sky. It was fitting for the Princess of the Night, though Starlight pondered exactly why her mane behaved in such a manner. But if the oddities of Equestria were anything to go by, magic was a viable answer.

Some phenomena were as simple as that.

"You must be Starlight Glimmer," said Luna. She gently waved a hoof. "Please have a seat with us. Take as long as you need."

Starlight did as instructed, sitting at the throne next to Luna with Twilight taking the one beside Starlight. The smooth surface was more akin to a block of ice than a throne, but it wasn't cold to the point where it froze Starlight's spine at the touch. It wasn't as soft as her bed or the sofa in her living room, however, but it was enough to soothe her muscles.

"Princess Luna, I have a quick request for you," said Twilight. She cleared her throat and ruffled her wings. "Starlight Glimmer has had a shaky relationship with me, which is putting it lightly, and I forgave her after a final confrontation when she proved she'd try to become a better pony. Her motives were caused by a traumatic incident during her foalhood. It shaped her outlook on life ever since, especially with nopony to turn to in such a dilemma." Twilight caught her breath. "Her actions were unjust, but with her repentance, she's slowly trotting toward a brighter future."

"So she's a former nemesis that has been reformed," muttered Luna. She placed a hoof on her cheek. "You've done well, Princess Twilight. I'm not surprised to see you live up to your title so well. And I'm guessing that Starlight Glimmer is wondering why she wasn't severely punished for her actions." Luna swiveled her head toward Starlight. The pair made eye contact. "I don't know if Princess Twilight has already told you this, but have you heard about friendship being the strongest magic of all?"

Starlight nodded. "I do now," she said, feigning a chuckle.

"You've already made a great amount of progress." Luna softly chuckled, Starlight responding in kind. "As a preface, know that you're not the only one who has experienced such a spiritual transformation." She then placed a hoof to her chest. "I'm one of those ponies who went down a horrible path, only to be brought back to the correct one after a series of events and encounters. Twilight's friends have told me of various other exploits. For example, there's a griffon who resides in Griffonstone and was known for being quite brutish. Such a rough demeanor lost her the only friend she had after a fateful encounter in this very town."

Starlight slowly nodded. "I can relate in a way."

"However, do you know what happened next?"

"What?" Starlight nudged closer to the edge of her seat. She leaned toward Luna.

"She met her former friend once more. Eventually, through the realization of how important her friendship was and where she went wrong, the griffon made amends with her friend and made some new ones as well, pony and griffon alike." Luna pressed her hooves together. "The griffon's friend was Rainbow Dash, and she recounted that story to Celestia and I not too long ago."

Arching an eyebrow, Starlight cocked her head. "And why do you tell me this story?"

"To remind you that you're not alone." Luna ruffled her wings. "And I went through a learning experience of my own during Nightmare Night over a year ago. That event leading up to the moment where I conquered my own guilt transformed me into a better pony. You may not believe what I say, but do know that your story isn't the only one here. Even beings such as Discord have made progress, but as he also shows, the road toward a better future can sometimes be rough. You just have to keep going."

"Is that so?" Starlight cracked the faintest of smiles. She rubbed her eyes. "Is forgiveness truly a part of Equestrian culture?"

Twilight nodded. "That's right. Starlight, while what you did was wrong, you're still the kind of pony who deserves a second chance because not only have you made up for your past mistakes, you've shown a willingness to learn as well. The residents of Our Town understood this, slowly warming up to the idea of a reformed you, remember? The four who stopped you before accepted your apology, remember?"

"I remember. And what about the damages my mistakes caused?"

"Those can easily be fixed. Some of them have already been repaired. While you've lashed out before, there's something about the way you fought." Rubbing her head, Twilight then took a quick breath. "The only spell you fired at other ponies just trapped the target in crystal, the effects of which are only temporary."

"I know that, but it was still the wrong thing to do."

"That's true, and because you now know it was still the wrong thing to do, that tells me you're willing to change for the better. Anyway, on the day we first met each other, you merely used magic to push ponies out of the way when you were found out." Twilight donned the faintest of smiles. "All of that told me you never wanted to seriously injure anypony. The most you must've been okay with were scrapes and bruises."

Starlight nodded, lips pursed. "I don't know how you figured it out, but you're right."

"Starlight, when I offered you a chance at friendship, I sincerely meant it. There's a pony who's asking for help right before me. As the Princess of Friendship, I promise to give you all the help you need." Twilight leaned closer to Starlight, the latter nudging away in response. "You may feel otherwise, but if you're looking for happiness and closure, know that friendship is part of the answer. What do you say?"

Stretching her hoof, Twilight gazed into Starlight's eyes. Memories of the friendship speech atop the clouds returned to Starlight all at once. Blinking, she could've sworn they were back in Cloudsdale and reliving that same moment. Wind flowed through her mane and the sounds of pegasi slicing through the air reached her ears.

The promise of a second chance and a way to right her wrongs spoke to her heart. It wasn't any regular friendship speech Twilight had dug up.

It was a friendship speech tailored to her.

Starlight grasped onto Twilight's hoof.

"You promise me that I won't be severely punished?" asked Starlight, cheeks tautened.

Bobbing her head once more, Twilight's grin brightened. "As a friend, I promise."

Starlight stood upright, her legs wobbling for a moment. It was almost surreal noticing that nothing was constricting her limbs. Part of Starlight yearned she had the opportunity to dance atop the table or wrap Twilight in a hug whilst bawling and grinning Both would've been seen as awkward or too sappy, however. Composure was necessary.

Exhaling, she playfully tapped Twilight's shoulder instead.

"I'm glad things seem to have worked out," said Luna. "The journey is far from over, but you're on the way to becoming a terrific pony, Starlight."

"Thank you, your highness," Starlight replied. "I'll do my best."

Luna shook her head. "No, thank you."

"And before we leave, do you want to check out the important letter?" asked Twilight. "I think it's something you won't be expecting."

Starlight brought the letter toward her. She took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll read it."

In a flash, Starlight ripped the envelope open and procured the folded paper inside. Unfurling it, she glanced at the cursive jotted across the sheet, her heart skipping a beat a second later.

She knew whose writing this was.

It was undoubtedly written by her former friend, Sunburst.

Starlight Glimmer,

I sincerely apologize that I couldn't be with you again. I was so excited when I got my cutie mark that I just had to tell the town. What happened next was that I was sent off to Canterlot for school, but I wished I could've said goodbye. It was all so fast and I almost expected you to be one of my classmates. As for school itself, the workload was so intense that I never had a chance to write to you. Despite this, I had this nagging feeling you were at the school during the year I graduated. I wish I could've seen you again. Maybe then I'd have a chance to apologize for my rude behavior that day. I should've thought about your feelings.

Princess Twilight told me about everything that had happened and how you felt. I know this might seem weird, but I understand why you felt that way. You were the only friend I had, and after I had seemingly abandoned you after I got my cutie mark, it was no wonder you reacted the way you did.

I'm currently over in Trottingham doing a tough research assignment, hence why I can't be here right now. But I'm relieved to hear that you're still around. If we meet again, I promise I'll make the formal apology that you deserve. Keep on pushing toward success and for what's truly right. I'm here for you.

Your friend,

Sunburst

The world around Starlight became blurry and wet.

She sniffled.

It was the best letter she could've gotten.

"Thank you, Princess Twilight," said Starlight. Rubbing the tears from her eyes, her cheeks reddened. "Thank you, everypony. You saved my life."

"We're here if you need us, Starlight," Twilight replied.

Starlight donned the widest of genuine grins she had ever worn, her heart fluttering as warmth coursed through her body. It was the best case scenario after all, and while learning this new method of life was bound to result in challenges and the occasional mistake or two, it was the fact that she was on the right path that tickled her coat.

It was what Starlight wanted after all.

She found closure.