Chapter 1 – Royal Screw Up
My eyes slowly opened, straight away I groan as the light in the room caused a headache to throb even more. As my vision adjusted to the light, I realised that I wasn't anywhere pleasant. More precisely I was in the cells at the guard post in Cloudsdale again.
I sit up on the bed and tried to figure out the reason to why I ended up in this cell. Certainly I was familiar with the place having been locked up a number of times during my teenage years due to various pranks, mishaps and incidents. But to be honest, this is the first time I've been back in the cells for five years.
Last time I was here was when I had just turned eighteen, and well as most eighteen year old ponies would do would be to drink alcohol. Stupidly despite having way to much to drink, I decided to challenge anyone to a drinking contest, and end up going up against a mare with a rainbow coloured mane. It was soon realised that this mare was only sixteen and we had just gave her alcohol, though thinking back I wasn't sure which was worse, the almighty telling off we got or the fact that this mare actually drank me under the table and won the contest.
Since that day, I vowed to change my ways and stick to the right side of the law. In fact I even managed to get a job as a photographer for the Cloudsdale Chronicle, even living up to my name by being quick to get photographs of various events and incidents, but I was worried my job was at risk at ending up in here. What on Equestria did I do to end up here? All I remember was that I was taking photographs of Princess Celestia's visit to Cloudsdale. I wonder if the prison guard knows how I ended up in here.
With this thought, I pulled myself out of the bed. It felt like I had been lying there for sometime as I was feeling stiff as a board. So with this in mind, I decided to give my body and wings a nice stretch, sighing contently as various bones and joins cracked and popped.
After I was done, I decided to head to the cell door to get the guards attention. Thankfully Cloudsdale Jail wasn't a major place and normally pretty quiet. Usually the time you were in here ranged from a few hours to a few days and probably relieve you of a few bits on top of that. Anything more serious you were dragged off to the courts and ended up in the dungeons in Canterlot.
Thinking about past stays in here, I started wondering if Skywatch was still the guard here. He was an oldish Pegasus stallion with a grey coat, black mane complete with dark green eyes. But despite him being a guard here, I always ended up getting on quite well with him, despite being in trouble all the time.
I walked over to the cell door and started to call out. “Hello, is there anypony around?” Straight away I could here someone stir in the distance, before a sound of hoof steps could be heard heading down the corridor to my cell.
“Well there's a voice I ain't heard in a long time,” a voice called out. “Rapidsnap, what have you done this time? You ain't been fighting again in the town square have you?”
“Skywatch,” I called out. “It's so nice to see you again and to be honest, I have no idea what I have done this time, I was hoping you would have known.”
“Well,” the old guard paused briefly. “You were brought in unconscious by some Royal Guards about fifteen hours ago. They never said much, just told me to keep you out of the way and you will be dealt with later.”
“Oh, that doesn't sound very good,” I sighed as I sat down on my haunches. “It sounds like I'm in serious trouble. I can't remember what I done, I was taking photos one moment, then I end up waking up here.”
“Well, it's good you're awake, and you'll find out soon enough about what you done,” Skywatch sighed as he turned away from the cell door. “Look, now you're awake, I'm going to have to let them know. But for your sake lad, I hope you didn't do something stupid.”
I sighed inwardly as I watched Skywatch walk away. Right now my brain was going ten million miles a second with worst case scenarios. What did I do? Did I grope the Princess? Did I spill punch on her? Did I insult her?. Oh crap I'm going to lose my job. I'm going to be exiled from Cloudsdale, no I'm going to be banished to the Moon. I slump to the ground and awaited the arrival of the Royal Guard.
Ten, twenty maybe even thirty minutes had gone by. To be honest it's hard to tell when I'm feeling so scared about what was about to happen to you. Quite simply I couldn't remember what I had done to end up here. After what seemed like forever, my ear twitches as I hear multiple hoofsteps approaching my location. Shaking, I retreated to the back of my cell, not that it would have made any difference, they had the keys to my cell and they would have still gotten in.
The cell door opened with a creak. In filed three of Princess Celestia's Royal Guards which made the room feel very crowded. All three of them stared at me, and if looks could kill, I would have been dead and buried by now. I continued to cower in the corner of my cell. Whilst doing so, I look over the three guards. Two of them were Pegasus ponies, one was a mare, whilst the other was a stallion, these two had matching white coats and blue eyes, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if these two were twins. The third guard surprised me more, especially with it being Cloudsdale, here stood before me was a grey Unicorn stallion, who without a doubt was using a cloud walking spell.
The Unicorn guard marched up to me and stared at me with his emerald green eyes. It was as if he was trying to read my mind. Good luck trying to read gibberish I thought. Suddenly I jumped in shock when he said my name.
“Rapidsnap,” he spoke in a authoritative tone. “You are to come with us to explain your actions to Princess Celestia, and receive punishment for your misdeeds.”
I gulped. “B-but I don't know what I have done wrong. I can't remember a thing I've done, all I remember is I was photographing one moment then ended up...”
“Don't play dumb with us you piece of crap,” the Pegasus mare interrupted. “I caught you with your camera near to where the Princess was having some private time.”
“W-what?” I stammered. “W-why would I be doing a thing like that, I'm a professional photographer, I work for the Cloudsdale Chronicle.”
“Yeah yeah, that's what they all say,” said the other Pegasus guard.
“But I'm telling the bucking truth,” I cried. “Check with the local papers, check my records, check....” I hear a crack and a pain in my jaw. I glared at the Unicorn guard who had just hit me to stop my jabbering.
Worryingly a smug smile appeared on the face of the Unicorn guard. “Oh we have checked your records,” he said smugly. “It seems like you are quite the troublemaker.”
“But that was years ago,” I interrupted. “I've changed my ways since then, I..” Another hit to my face silenced me.
“Shut your trap,” growled the Unicorn. “I've seen what you have done, you are just letting the heat die down. Especially after your last indiscretion of getting one of the now Elements of Harmony under the influence of Alcohol when she was under the legal drinking age.”
“Look,” I pleaded. “I wasn't intending on doing anything to her, it was just a drinking con...” another blow to the face, this time knocking me to the ground. The Unicorn guard stood over me and bent down to my ear.
“Now listen here,” he spat. “Even if you were intending to or not, you are still a filthy lawbreaker. Now are you going to shut up and come along quietly, or do we have to knock you out again, because quite frankly I'm sick of wasting my time with you useless pile of crap.”
I start shaking out of anger. “I'm not useless, I'm not a piece of crap,” I shouted.
The Unicorn growled at me. “Enough!” He barked. Striking another blow to my head. My vision starts fading to black and my eyes get heavy. I could hear him bragging as I passed out, but his words reached my ears. “I love it when they don't keep quiet and I get to beat them up a bit,” he laughed. The pain intensified and everything just went black.
Head throbbing once again, I slowly open my eyes. My body was aching as if I had been slammed to the ground repeatedly, though in all likelihood that was probably what did happen to me. One thing I was sure of was that I was no longer in the jail cell. Judging by the softness underhoof, I deducted that I was now at the place where the Princesses stayed whenever they stayed in Cloudsdale.
“Finally,” a voice called out. “About time you woke up, you do know it's rude to keep royalty waiting.”
With a painful groan, I raised myself up. “You didn't have to knock me out again,” I spat at the unicorn guard.
“Stop whinging you cry baby,” the guard shouted back.
What happened in the next few moments surprised everyone in the room. I started to growl like some feral beast at the guard who just insulted me. “I show you a bucking cry baby.” I roared as I lunged at the unicorn. A foolish thing to do, but as I was seeing red and took leave of all common sense. The unicorn grabbed me with his magic as the two Pegasi guards piled on top of me, resulting in a very uneven fight which didn't last long. But what did I expect as I was outnumbered three to one, the end result was no surprise, muggings here zero, royal guards one.
I wasn't allowed to recover after my beating, as I was soon dragged onto my hooves and my battered and bruised was led into the room where Princess Celestia was awaiting my arrival. I limped to stand in front of her and bowed, I looked at her out of my good eye, I wasn't sure what I could see was a good thing, her face bared no emotion whatsoever. Straight away my mind went into overdrive, she isn't happy, I'm going to be banished to the moon, especially since I went for her guards. What will I do up there, can I breathe up there, how did Princess Luna survive, what will I eat and drink. I break from my thoughts as she coughs drawing my attention.
“Captain Stonehoof,” she speaks sternly. “For what crime is this pony here in front of me for?”
The Unicorn guard stood in front of me. “Your majesty, the pony known as Rapidsnap is here as a result of a number of crimes,” he said as he glared at me. “The latest one being was when he went to attack myself and my two fellow guards who came with me to collect him from his holding cell.”
The Princess looked at me, I'm certain the way she was looking at me was to work out how much magic she would require to banish me to the moon, which to be honest wouldn't be much. To my complete surprise she spoke to me. “Rapidsnap,” she enquired. “May I ask where you gained your injuries.”
Looking up at her, I could see her face has changed to one of concern. “Well your majesty,” I started as I quickly glanced to the Unicorn guard. “I received these injuries at the hoofs of the guard who I tried to fight with.”
“Hmm,” she pondered. “That is a rather foolish thing to do my little pony, especially when with my guard being trained in many forms of combat. So what made you do something stupid like that?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't help notice that the Captain Stonehoof face had turned several shades lighter, do I detect an equaliser coming on I mused. I quickly gathered my thoughts together. “Well Princess, in brief I woke up in a prison cell not wondering where I am or what I had done. Then Captain Stonehead showed up with his goons...”
“It's Stonehoof!” the Captain interrupted.
“Whatever,” I interjected back, and continued as I quickly noticed the Princess wasn't happy with the outburst. “Anyway I tried to plead my case, and the Captain here repeatedly hit me across the head with his hoof a number of times before I was knocked out.” At that moment I felt the room go very cold, but I continued. “I then woke up in that room back there, where your Captain slagged me off telling me to stop moaning and calling me a crybaby, and that's when I went for him, and well as you can see, you can guess the end result,” I gestured with my hoof showing my battered and bruised body.
The mood on Princess Celestia's face shifted to a dark mood and turned to her captain. “If what this pony says is true, then you will be in serious trouble. In fact you will be demoted quicker than one of Pinkie Pies surprise parties.”
The guard loudly gulped, yup a sign of guilt. I turned and looked at the Princess. “Excuse me your majesty, but what is a Pink..” To my surprise me vision became filled with pink and I fall onto my haunches. My vision cleared to find a shocking pink mare with a matching mane bouncing in front of me.
“Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!” the mare said whilst still bouncing. “I'm here to throw you a I don't know who Pinkie Pie is party especially for you.” Out nowhere, she pulls out a cannon, I suddenly panicked fearing that she was about to send me to the moon. I cower in fear and hear a bang, expecting the worse, I was surprised to find balloons and confetti raining down around me.
I sat on my haunches speechless with my mouth just opening and closing trying to get a sentence out. “How, how did you do that?”.
She looks at me, despite her still bouncing which was getting quite hypnotic. “Oh that's easy silly. I have...”
“Pinkie Pie,” Celestia interrupted her. “Now is not the time or place to have a party.”
For the first time, the pink one stopped bouncing, and I'm sure her mane deflated a little bit too. “Awwww, but this guy looks in need of cheering up,” she said looking over me. I cocked my head slightly in response, though more out of confusion.
“I know you like to throw parties for everypony, but now is not the time, and I'm sure when this is over, he can come and visit you in Ponyville,” said Celestia.
“Okie dokie lokie,” the Pink mare said as her mane suddenly re-inflated as she turned to me and looked me over. “So are you going to Pinkie Promise me that you will visit me in Ponyville soon.”
I pondered, I don't really want to go to Ponyville, nor do I really want to go to the party. But I don't want to offend her, foolishly I caved in. “Sure why not.”
“You need to Pinkie Promise,” she interjected.
“Fine I promise to come and visit you, trust me.” I reply sounding a bit grumpy.
“That's not how you do it properly grumpy hoofs, just repeat after me,” she gestured.
“Eh, what?”, I sigh. “Fine whatever.” I could see the Captain starting to smirk for some reason.
“Right,” began the mare as she sat in front of me. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” As she gestured the motions. I roll my good eye, fine I thought, I play along.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my ARGH!” Bad mistake, I just poked my good eye. I could hear the unicorn guard snuff a laugh at my predicament.
“Yay!” Cheered Pinkie Pie. “I see you real soon my new friend, and remember if you break the Pinkie Promise you will lose my trust forever and I will also come looking for you silly.”
Rolling around in complete agony, I strained out a response, “Yes, I be there when I can,” I said painfully. Then suddenly the Pink one disappeared just like that, I started to wonder if I had just imagined them last few moments. I look around in confusion. “Eh? What? How did she do that?” I questioned.
“I wouldn't worry too much about that,” assured the Princess. “It's best to not try and work out how Pinkie Pie works, Princess Twilight Sparkle already learnt that lesson the hard way.”
“Shouldn't have done a Pinkie Promise,” muttered the unicorn guard.
I turned and glared at him. “And what do you mean by that?” I growled.
The guard smiled slyly. “Well, why don't you break..”
“Captain Stonehoof!” Shouted Celestia. “You only speak when you are asked to.” The guard noticeably flinches and his muzzle snaps shut. The Princess turns to me and smiles. “My advice to you Rapidsnap is to is that you keep that promise you have just made. Anyway you never know, you might enjoy it and make some new friends.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I don't have time for stuff like this, especially if it got in the way of work. I forced a small smile and looked at her. “I will try my best to attend.”
“Very good,” she beamed. “Now where were we before our pink interruption. Ah yes, Captain Stonehoof, what else is this pony accused of?”
Startled, the Captain shifted to attention. “Your Majesty, this pony was found snooping around the entrance to the room where you were having a bit of private time to yourself.” The Princess raised her eyebrow at this. “The guard that caught him suspected that he was trying to get scandalous photos of you again...”
“What do you bucking mean again?” I interrupted, as soon as I finished my question, my muzzle was forced shut by a magical spell. Looking at the guard it came to no surprised that he was the source of the spell as his horn glowed.
“Silence, I warned you earlier about your conduct earlier,” the guard growled at me. A cough occurred in the room disrupting his rant at me, and he looked around seeing where it came from. Then suddenly a look of somepony emptying their bowels in fright appeared on his face. I turned my head to see if he actually had or not, disappointingly he hadn't, but I could help notice that he had a rather nice plot. Just a shame it was attached to such a douche-bag.
The Princess's voice woke me from my stupor. “Captain Stonehoof, I must point out that the excessive force you are using on this pony is unneeded and unacceptable. Also if I were you, I would cease that spell and finish telling me what happened.” With this the magic eased around my muzzle. I open and closed my mouth a few times just to ease off the muscles that tightened because of the spell.
“I'm so sorry your highness,” the Captain grovelled. “So anyway, the accused was found snooping around your room with his camera. My colleagues here suspected he was trying to get some photos that would tarnish your image, just like that cake image that was printed in that newspaper in Ponyville.” There's that Ponyville place mentioned again I thought. The guard continued with his lies. “So my guards apprehended the suspect and destroyed his camera and any images that may have been on it.”
“What!?” I cried out, “that camera cost me 300 bits. I need it for my job.”
The guard turned at me and stared at me. “Trust me, you won't need it where you are going.” He turned back to face the Princess. “Also your Majesty, whilst checking up on the suspect, we came across a shocking incident that happened many years ago involving one Rainbow Dash.” The guard turned to look at me as if to say you're screwed now.
Princess Celestia shifted her position slightly as this name was mentioned. “How has one of the Elements of Harmony become involved with this?” She asked.
“Well, this suspect was arrested after it was found supplying alcoholic drinks to Miss Rainbow Dash who was under the drinking age at the time and I suspect that it was so he could get his way with her,” the guard finished giving me a look of disgust.
My face went very pale at the mention of this. “I, I, I wouldn't do something like that, I know I was a troublemaker, but I'm not the sort of pony to get a mare drunk so I can have my way with her,” I pleaded.
The Princess looked at me and at the Captain. I knew it, I was doomed. It was his word against mine, and he was royal guard, the odds were in his favour. After a few moments of awkward silence, the Princess spoke. “Captain Stonehoof, did you actually do any proper investigation into either of these crimes.”
The guard shifted uncomfortably. “Well, erm, you see your majesty, I just read the brief at the start of the report and just assumed that he was one of just ponies who want to get any mares flank.”
“I see,” replied Celestia looking rather unimpressed. “You've been jumping to conclusion again, you've got a history of this. By any chance did you actually ask this pony why he was near my room when you apprehended him?”
The Captain gulped, and looked down. “Well nope your highness. You see we just assumed that he was out to get photos with the camera around his neck.”
The Princess shook her head. “That's not good enough Captain,” she turned to me. “So Rapidsnap, what were you doing near my room.”
I looked up at the Princess and blush slightly. “Well your majesty, I was at the refreshment lounge for the press, and I kind of had a bit too much to drink and was looking for the little colts room and ended up a little lost.” I said sheepishly.
The Princess smiled, “that's all I need to know.” She turned back to the Captain, “You see Captain Stonehoof, this could have been avoided if you squad had asked questions first before assaulting this innocent little pony.”
The Captain didn't look best pleased. “But what about the thing with Rainbow Dash?” He questioned. “Surely he should be punished for that, as I read in the brief that he got off quite lightly for something that should have been severely punished.”
Celestia frowned at the Captain. “As I said before captain, you jumped to conclusions. If you actually read the full report, your would have gotten the whole truth about the incident.” She settled to a more relaxed position. “You see I already know about this case from Rainbow Dash herself, as when she was quite a little rebel when she was younger. In fact she mentioned she tricked this stallion here into a drinking competition and he had to pay because she beat him.” I raised a hoof to hide my embarrassment as I could hear the two Pegasus guards snigger, the Captain however wasn't in the mood for laughing. “And also from the way he was looking at your plot before, I'm not sure if he's interested in mares.” Ah buck busted I thought as my face turned red.
“But, but, but he's got to be guilty,” the captain cried rather red in the face from Celestia's revelation. “What about his attack on us before? Lieutenant Airblast, Lieutenant Airswipe back me up on this.”
“We were just following orders Captain.” The two Pegasus guards replied in unison.
“Stonehoof, cease and be quiet,” ordered Celestia. “I've made my decision, and the pony Rapidsnap is innocent, yes he was wrong to attack you and your crew, but after what you done to him beforehand it is understandable to why he done it, also he will be awarded damages which will come from your wages to replace the camera you destroyed. Lieutenants Airblast and Airswipe will provide 150 bits each, whilst you Stonehoof will supply 300 bits.”
“What? How?,” Stonehoof cried. “His camera was only worth 300 bits.”
“I know it was,” replied Celestia. “But you caused this pony untold emotional stress, he may never trust the Royal Guard fully again. So it's only right that he gets more than what the camera was worth.” A serious look fell across her face. “Also Stonehoof, you are being stripped of your rank as Captain and demoted to Sergeant, a Captain does not jump to conclusions and should investigate every possibility, hopefully training through the ranks again will help you see the error of your ways.” She turns and looks at the two Pegasi guards who noticeably cower. “Airblast and Airswipe, you are to be assigned the task of cleaning all of the public toilets in Canterlot and all of the toilets in the barracks for three months.”
The two Pegasi breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes your majesty.” They responded in unison.
The Princess turns to me and smiled. “I'm so sorry Rapidsnap for what has happened to you, I hope you can accept my apologies for this unfortunate incident. Anyway you are free to go and I hope you enjoy Pinkie Pies party in Ponyville.”
I smile back, they not going to let me forget about that party, it's not the end of the world if I miss it. Breathing a sigh of relief I bow to the Princess. “Thank you your highness. May you have a safe trip back to Canterlot.” I turn and head out of the room and back to my apartment.
I get back to my apartment, and notice two letters waiting for me on my doormat. Picking them up I take them to my bedroom and put them down on the dresser. I looked myself over in the mirror examining the cuts and bruises to my face. Hmm I thought, it could take a few days for these to clear. I turn my attention to the letters, the first one I opened had a royal seal on it. The Princess must have been quick, as inside was a cheque for 600 bits, I smiled when I see it, I can finally get a decent camera for my job.
I turn my attention to the other letter, it was in a pink envelope with balloons on it. Opening it I got a shock as confetti shot out, inside was an invitation to a party hosted by Pinkie Pie that was taking place in two weeks time. I rolled my eyes seeing this and muttered to myself. “I'm not wasting my time with that, promise or no promise.” I looked up in the mirror and nearly fell off my seat.
Looking at me through my mirror was that crazy pink mare. She stared at me. “Remember,” she called out. “Losing a friends trust is the quickest way to losing a friend forever!!”
“What? How you even? Get out of my home?” I cried.
“Forever!!” she cries as she fades from the mirror.
My head hits the dresser. I think I'm going crazy. “What on earth am I going to do?” I call out to no-one in particular.
“Well go to my party in two weeks silly.” came a bubbly voice.
My head shoots up. “I told you to get out,” I shouted suddenly realising she wasn't in my mirror. “I'm going mad.” I get up off my seat and head to my bed only to bump into a pink muzzle. “Aargh!” I screamed falling over my seat.
I heard a giggle. “You're funny, you're going to be great at my party. See you later alligator.” called out the Pink Mare as she bounced around my room and out the window. I shook my head and just passed out on the floor.
Chaper 2 - Welcome to Ponyville?
For two bucking weeks. Two bucking weeks I tell you. I was plagued by that crazy pink party mare. If she wasn't appearing out of nowhere at random times, it was to leave notes or random gifts reminding me of the party I'm supposed to attend was drawing closer and that I'm not to miss it. To be honest, I didn't mind the gifts too much, as the cupcakes she left a few times were rather nice.
The random appearances on the otherhoof, well I lost track of the amount of times to pop out of nowhere, usually at the worst possible moment. Honestly, that mare had no sense of privacy much to my shock and annoyance when she popped up out of my toilet when I was about to take a leak, it was embarrassing enough that she saw me well, I leave it there for you to think about it.
It got worse however, she randomly popped up when I went to visit my parents. Much explaining was to be done to my folks after they asked me twenty questions about this apparent mystery pink marefriend I kept from them. It took me three days to explain that I was not in any sort of relationship with her, though that wasn't helped when she brought up about seeing my thing when she appeared in my toilet.
Fortunately, I think, there was times when she appeared when there was no audience, like actually appearing alongside me in my bed when I woke up. Sitting up in my own bed screaming is not a way I want to wake up again. I admit she is a pretty looking mare, but she isn't the type for me and too crazy for me to deal with too. To be honest I'm amazed I didn't end up going crazy from her appearances, fortunately despite her habit of popping out of things, she didn't cause any damage, which is fortunate considering I just got myself a camera worth 550 bits to replace the ones destroyed by them idiotic guards.
I have to admit, in hindsight I'm glad it happened as this camera has gotten me a few good shots for work in the past week and a bit. Mind it had been a busy week, and I really needed a break, and I reluctantly decided to go to this party just so I could get this damn mare off my back.
“You know Pinkie, you don't have to actually be on my back. I am heading to your party as of this moment.” I complained.
“Oh I know silly,” she beamed. “But your back is so comfy and you're so lovely, warm and cuddly.”
I groan and roll my eyes, not helping I thought. “Anyway,” I interjected. “Aren't you meant to be preparing for the party.” And possibly give me some peace and quiet for the rest of my journey I mused.
The Pink pony brought a hoof up to her muzzle and pondered. “I suppose you're right. But I had to make sure you were coming as I really wanted you to be there.”
“And what is so special about me attending?” I asked her.
“Well you aren't go to know as it's a surprise,” she grinned as she started bouncing. “Though I suppose since I know you are on your way, then I will leave you be and see you really really soon and we can have lots of fun and have a really great time.”
“Yeah, whatever Pinkie,” I replied unenthusiastically, though I sudden realise I was all by myself again, that damn mare done her disappearing trick again. Never mind, at least I can enjoy this rare train journey now, not often I get the train, only because I tried to escape to Canterlot to hide from her, and that didn't work. I just wanted to rest as I darted around the city to hide from that pink menace, but I learned there's no escape from her. Sighing, I settled down in my seat and drifted off to sleep.
I woke up when I felt the train brakes applying, blinking I look out the window and saw Ponyville appear on the horizon. Hmm seems like a nice place. I was disrupted from my thoughts when the train tannoy crackled into life. “Next stop Ponyville where this train terminates. All change please.”
I stretch out my legs and wings with the bones in them giving a satisfying crack. As soon as I was done, I headed for the exit to the carriage. As the train drew into the station, I noticed it wasn't a fancy affair, just more functional, there was a few ponies on the platform, no doubt heading to Canterlot or waiting for friends arriving. The train halted and the doors opened, well I'm here I thought to myself as I stepped onto the platform. Suddenly I realised something, I had no idea where I was supposed to be heading, I knew the party was taking place in Ponyville, but I didn't know exactly where. My mind when into a slight panic. Oh crap oh crap oh crap, I'm in a town I don't know and I'm going to get lost. I wandered out to the front of the station to see if anyone could help me, or even see if the pink pest was outside waiting for me. Looking around, I couldn't see her, typical just when I want to see her, she isn't here.
I scan the crowd of ponies outside the station, most people seem occupied with their own friends and relatives, it would be rude of me to interrupt them so I decided against asking them. I keep scanning the ponies around me to see if someone, oh my what a specimen, those muscles and that plot and he's all alone. Smiling, I beat my wings and fluttered over to him. “Excuse me?” I enquired. “I wonder if you be able to assist me.”
The red stallion looked at me with a neutral look on his face. “Eeyup,” he replied.
His one worded emotionless reply surprised me for a moment, before I remembered what I was going to ask him. “Eh yeah good, erm could you tell me where I, well I've told that I come to here to go to a party,” I awaited his answer, but I'm sure I could sense he was trying to work out my question, I looked at his ears expecting some smoke to come out to suggest that his brain overloaded, but what I got was a new voice interrupting the silence.
“Big Mac?” The voice whined. “How long are we going to be waiting for. Ah got to get back to the clubhouse to arrange with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle for what we are doing at tonight's party.”
I blink at the mention of party and quickly question the filly. “Say young one, this party. It isn't being hosted by Pinkie Pie by chance.
The yellow filly eyed me curiously. “Why wouldn't it be held by Pinkie Pie?” She spoke. “Pinkie Pie's responsible for all of the parties around here, why are ya asking?”
“Well to be honest,” I said sheepishly. “I kind of been told to come to come to a party here in Ponyville by Pinkie Pie, except she... well she hasn't told me when and where it was.”
Excitement spread across the face of the filly as she proceeded to repeatedly jump on the red stallions back, he on the otherhoof looked rather unmoved, I was beginning to wonder if he was some sort of robopony or part of the Royal Guard, taking into consideration on how silent and unflinching he was to this filly's hyperactivity.
“Me and ma friends are also going to the party too,” the bouncing filly beamed.
“Great.” I replied whilst putting on a fake smile. Yeah great I thought, I've got an invite to a party for foals. I looked at her sadly, “well, I'm not sure if I'm still going or not...” I tried to think of a plausible excuse, but at this moment my brain wasn't providing me with any. “I'm only really came he because I made a Pinkie Promise that I would turn up.”
The filly's eyes widened as she gasped. “Yah know you shouldn't break one of Pinkies Promises, ain't that so Big Mac.”
“Eeyup,” came the stoic reply.
I stared at him and muttered under my breath. “You know it's possible to say more than one word.” I hear a rather low growl and looked up to find him glaring at me causing me to gulp a little.
The filly continued unaware of the change in the stallions mood. “Mah big sis Applejack once broke a Pinkie Promise, and she ended up fearing for her life. She thought Pinkie was going to murder her or something.”
I gulped even more loudly than previously. “So how, how did she get out of it?” I asked shakeably.
“Ah think it was something to do with breakfast. Ah think ya probably better off asking her about it all at the party tonight,” she answered.
“Oh I see,” I replied feeling a bit downcast that there was no escape, well providing that this Big Mac doesn't throttle me first. “Oh,” I cried remembering what I needed to know. “Where and when is the party taking place?”
“Oh yeah, it's at Sugarcube Corner over in the market place.” she replied happily.
“Oh right, I have a few hours to kill beforehoof,” I pondered. “Guess I have a look around the place. Thank you for your help erm...”
“Oh mah names Apple Bloom, and this is mah big brother Big Mac,” she relied eagerly. “Say if ya looking for places to visit, swing on by Sweet Apple Acres and me and mah friends can show you round the place.” She gasped suddenly, “that's it, maybe me and mah friends can get our Cutie Marks as tour guides.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” I questioned as I looked towards her brother who was still glaring at me. “Actually never mind, I may see you both at the party, I've erm... got to go and have a little fly around and stretch my wings.” Maybe avoiding being beaten by Big Mac and possibly having a cloud nap I thought silently to myself.
“Oh ah see.” Apple Bloom said as her mood deflated in front of my eyes.
Oh buck, oh buck, her brother is going to kill me, gotta fly. “Yeah, erm see you around.” With this I launched from the ground as fast possible to avoid any incoming attack, and flew over some buildings and out of sight. That was too close I thought, I've just recovered from being beaten up by the Royal Guards, I don't want to endure another beating. Sighing, I decided I needed to take a nap, so decided to look around for a cloud to nap on, spotting a few in the southern part of the town. Smiling at the prospect of a cloud nap, I headed for the nearest one and flopped myself onto it. “Hmm, this is comfy,” I muttered to myself as I drifted off to sleep.
Suddenly I woke up feeling winded and in a lot of pain. I suddenly realised that I was no longer on the cloud I was napping on and instead was free falling to the ground. Fortunately though, I had managed to get my bearings and get my wings out to enable me to glide to another nearby cloud to recover.
I scan my surroundings to see what had disrupted my nap and destroyed my cloud bed in the process. Annoyingly I couldn't see any sign of what caused the situation, all I could see in my vicinity were other clouds and the only other pegasus pony I could spot remotely near me was a mail mare who was closer to the ground than to myself. Grumbling to myself for not finding the answer, I laid back down on the cloud and looked over the town below me.
Hmm, I thought. This Ponyville doesn't seem to be a place that is interesting, to be honest it seems pretty dull, well to a pegasus like me that is. I was disrupted from my thoughts when my stomach started to rumble. Sighing at the fact I had was hungry which meant I had to head down into the town below to get some food..
I raised myself up and leaped off the cloud with my wings spread out wide as I swooped down towards the market place making a few lazy circuits of the town in the process. Whilst doing so, I noticed a few more locations that may occupy me. One being a bowling alley on the edge of the town. Wow, I thought. I've actually found something that could occupy me until the party later.
Unfortunately whilst I was distracted, I failed to realise that I had entered into the market place and heading straight towards one of the stalls. I turned my head to realise that it was less than a metre away and crunch. I hit the side of the stall muzzle first and I yelp with the pain as I crash onto the ground.
“Urgh,” I groaned. “That bucking hurt.” Whilst lying in an undignified heap on the group, I became aware that somepony was standing over me.
“Yah alright there sugarcube?” came a friendly southern voice. “Yah took quite a tumble into the side of mah stall there.”
I looked up to see an orange mare wearing a Stetson, which from underneath were two emerald green eyes looking over me with some concern. “I, erm, yeah I think so,” I replied trying to get up from where I was. “Just give me a few moment and I be fine.”
“Ah glad yah seem alright, but shouldn't you get checked out at least to make sure you ain't hurt yahself,” she replied showing even more concern.
Rubbing my muzzle, I looked at her. “Yeah, maybe, I'm not sure, I probably fine,” I reply. “Oh wait was that your stall I crashed into.”
“Fortunately there's nothing for yah to worry about, yah didn't do any real damage to mah stall,” she smiled. “Nothing ah cannot mend and a few bruised apples on top of that.”
“Oh crap, I'm so sorry about that,” I replied to her sheepishly. “It's my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going, is there...”
“Ah said don't worry bout it sugarcube,” she interrupted me. “When yah have a pony like Rainbow Dash around here, the ponyfolk here get used to things like this. “Ah lost count on how many times she has crashed on mah farm, though she seems to crash into Twilights property more.
“Oh.” Is all I could verbally respond with, I was more worried that my past was starting to catch up with me. If that Rainbow pony was living around here, there was only a matter of time before I would end up bumping into her, especially since the last time I saw her was when I was in court about providing her with alcohol when she was under the drinking age. Feeling something poking me, I left my thoughts again.
“Say sugarcube, yah sure you sure you alright?” Came a southern voice. “Yah kind of got a vacant look on ya face.”
“Oh was I?” I replied. “I'm sorry, I never realised. Just I was thinking to erm... how my erm... oh yeah, I was thinking back to how my cloud suddenly disappeared. You didn't see anything did you?”
“Sorry sugarcube, ah didn't see anything like that today,” she replied. “To be honest I haven't seen many other Pegasi flying around today aside yahself and Rainbow. The only other ones that seen were the mailmare Derpy, oh and some lightish blue...”
“Soarin?” I interrupted.
The orange mare looked at me and was looking rather annoyed at me for interrupting her. “If yah let me finish, I was about to say a lightish blue mare. Ah know fine well it ain't Soarin because he always stops by my stall for some of mah apple pie,” she said proudly.
“Oh I see.” I replied sadly whilst feeling a bit disappointed that it wasn't Soarin that crashed into me. However I didn't dwell too long on this as my stomach rumbled to remind me it was hungry. I looked up at the mare with a little bit of a blush. “Say erm... sorry I didn't catch your name.”
“Mah names Applejack sugarcube,” she replied with a pleasant smile. “And what may your name be?”
“Oh, it's Rapidsnap,” I responded. “Anyway do you know where I can get some grub around here?”
“Are yah blind,” she points towards her stall that I had earlier crashed into. “Yah got all sorts of apple products available right here, and no one knows apples like the Apple family.”
“Oh I see,” I quietly replied. “To be honest, I don't particularly want anything apple based to eat today.”
“Look sugarcube, no pony comes to Ponyville without sampling apples from the Apple family farm,” she said Sternly.
“Well!” I retorted. “It looks like I'm going to be the first. Now if you don't mind me asking, where can I get some mangos.”
“Mangos?” She spluttered and starts to glare at me. “Mangos? Am ah hearing you right. You are asking me to tell you where you can get some bucking mangos? What the buck are yah? Are yah one of them bucking batpony things?”
“Erm... no actually.” I growled, “and I believe they preferred to be known as thestrals. Also mangos are nice and juicy for which I'm glad some of my thestral friends introduced me to.”
“Yah actually friends with them batponies?” She spat. “It ain't right, do yah drink blood with them too?”
“Hey!” I snarled back at her, noticing that we were start to get the attention of other ponies visiting the market. “Just because I'm friends with them, doesn't mean that I copy everything they do.” I start glancing around hoping for something to ease the tension or to help me escape, as I didn't particularly want to have a fight with an Earth Pony.
The enraged orange mare stormed right up to me and spoke directly into my ear. “If I didn't have to set a good example for being one of the elements, Ah would be kicking your bucking flank right now.”
“Look.” I spoke back into her ear. “I didn't come to this town to upset people or to get into fights. I do however don't like it when somepony insults another pony because of their race. How would you like it if I called you a mud pony.” She reacted badly to that.
“No, you look here,” she hissed. “Ah don't need feather brained ponies like you telling me that bat ponies should be treated with...”
“Applejack!” shouted Pinkie as she popped up out of a tub of apples.
The orange mare flinched and spun around to face the pink pest. “What the hell do yah want Pinkie?”
“Jackie, I just wanted to tell you that since we have so many ponies attending the party tonight,“ she babbled out. “That we are moving it from Sugarcube corner to the ballroom in Twilights Castle. Oh hi Rapidsnap, I was just about to come and tell you this next.”
I just looked at her and shook my head. “How on Equestria did you do that? I asked.
“Yah asking too many questions for mah liking,” Applejack snarled as she rounded on me. “Yah not some sort of changeling spy are yah, cos they hang around with them bat...”
“Jackie?” Whined Pinkie, “why are you being so hostile towards Rapidsnap.”
“Cos, he's acting all strange,” she interjected. “What sort of pony prefers mangos over apples. Also ah told you, ah don't like being called that name.”
“Oh Applejack,” said Pinkie sadly. “You should stop being so stubborn and learn that everypony is allowed to be different, Can you imagine how boring it would be of we were all the same. It be like uninteresting and dull and nothing will be a surprise as we all like the same things. Oh Applejack I would hate to live in a place like that,” she cried as she burst out into tears.
I looked at Pinkie as she sat there crying whilst Applejack tried to comfort her. I Smiled awkwardly at the sight. “Well since you two are busy,” Applejack's head shot up me and gave me a fierce look. “Yeah, I'm just going to go now and get something else to eat... bye.” I quickly turned and trotted off into the the market in the search of food.
Two tasty mangos and one yellow mare running away and screaming “Aargh Batpony” later I reached the entrance to the bowling alley. For a small town, I was surprised at how big the place was, actually scrub that, I was surprised it had one in the first place.
Stepping into the foyer I was hit with the strong smell of varnished wood, as the place echoed to the sound of balls rumbling down the lanes which was soon followed by crashing of pins as the ball collided with them. I stand there taking in the scene before me whilst trying to remember the last time I went bowling. Must have been a few years ago when Cloudsdale briefly had a bowling alley itself. Unfortunately the place was closed after a few days due to a couple of incidents which mainly consisted of bowling balls dropping through the clouds dropping onto unsuspecting ponies on the ground below.
I looked around the bowling alley and noticed the place was reasonably busy with a mix of different pony races. I had wondered how the other races bowled since I've only seen other Pegasi bowl, do they have something to combat the unicorns magic or something. How do earth ponies bowl with no wings or magic?
Suddenly I realised I was just standing there in the foyer like a total lemon, I trotted over to the main desk, as I approached the mare staffing it turned and smiled at me. “Good Afternoon Sir,” she called cheerfully. “How may I assist you today?”
“Oh, hi yeah I would like to have a few rounds of bowling please.” I replied.
“How many players would you like to book it for?” she questioned.
“How many?” I asked confusingly whilst looking around. “It's just me.”
“You want a lane for one person,” the mare said looking at me as if I just insulted her mother. “Isn't it a bit strange to come bowling on your own. Do you not have any friends or something?”
I shifted nervously under her stare. “I have got friends,” I stammered trying to hold back my tears. “It's just that... it's just that I they... well I don't think they want to... they don't want to be around me.” That was it, I couldn't hold back any longer, the dam was broken and the tears came out. I only wanted to keep myself occupied by a few rounds of bowling, but here I was being reminded that I was here on my own with no friends who want to be around me. I felt as if I was being judged by this mare, I just turned and galloped towards the exit crying.
I barrelled through the doors and collided with a light blueish mare who was just about to enter the place, we tumbled onto the ground in a heap. “Oh sorry sorry,” I cried as I helped picked up this mare. I quickly checked her over to see if she was fine, and I noticed she was also a Pegasi.
“It's fine,” she grumbled. “Just watch where you are running.”
“Yeah, yeah I'm sorry,” I mumbled. “I've got to go.”
“Hey are you okay?” She asked.
I looked at her and quickly closed my eyes. “No I'm not,” I quietly reply before launching off not hearing her reply. I just wanted to get out of there and just hide myself away. I needed to get myself sorted before the party. I zoomed up into the sky and searched for a cloud to hide, fortunately there was plenty of options, so I made a beeline for a big clump of clouds and dived head first into it and cry my eyes out.
