If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.

Goddesses, it was fucking cold…

The higher into the Misery range we drove, the lower the clouds got to us. Whitehorse, while a small town, was the last stop on the way out of the range if you were heading north, and as such, we found ourself passing more than a few resting convoys as we pulled out. Each one of the convoys had been absolutely coated with a thick layer of ice and snow, and I had to wonder if that forecast I’d heard had any truth to it. Maybe it was just the Enclave in me thinking only pegasi could deal with the weather after all...

A dense fog blanketed Highway five as it wound upwards over hills and through valleys. It sent shivers through me, not just because it was cold, but because it reminded me exactly of the fog around the depot yesterday morning. I could hardly see Bertha below me, and if not for his headlights, I wouldn’t even be able to see Lucky and the runner. Yet, between the white fog, abundant snow, and green trees, there weren’t any sounds other than the convoy to be heard. It was deathly quiet outside of the rumbling arcano-engines, and that unnerved me.

Still, the cold itself didn’t help. Both Hispano and I shivered after only a half hour in the air, and I knew that I wasn’t the only one worried about it when she couldn’t even force herself to talk due to the cold. And if anything, I could use the distraction for once.

There was a staticy click that came through my headset, thankfully giving me something to concentrate on.

“Hey, uh…” A stallion’s voice came across the radio. “Is this the convoy we accidentally attacked yesterday?”

Hispano and I both looked at each other for a moment before the radio crackled again.

“Trojan, why are you calling?” Cora’s voice came over the radio with an annoyed huff.

“So, uh, there was a pair of tanks that just rolled into town asking if you all had gone through.” Trojan’s voice wavered for a moment as my mind made the connection. “Friends of yours who just missed you?” Fucking Guinness and Zibar.

Wait… tanks, as in, multiple?

“Negative.” Cora’s voice crackled through. “But thanks for the heads up.”

“No problem, but you and I are even now.” Trojan laughed back. “I’ve got nothing left for the talons of ‘Claw to pull me back with, so say hi to captain Gavi for me when you get back home.”

“Roger that.” Cora grunted. “Good luck with your life up here, Trojan.”

“Change of plans, everyone.” Delilah’s cold tone was not the distraction I’d needed right now... “Cora, take your cloud and fall back. I want you keeping tabs on those tanks for the rest of the day, and I want radio silence to be held unless they change course.” Delilah didn’t even let a second of silence pass before speaking to all of us. “Bombay, I need you to grab some flares from Boiler and fly ahead by a couple of miles down the road. Gearbox, Lucky, get ready to divert. We’re taking a detour.” Pushing myself into a dive, I picked up speed and did my best to ignore the biting cold. “There’s a set of off ramps coming up, Bombay. We’re supposed to take the right one, but we’re going to take the left. Normally I wouldn’t ask, but with fog this bad, I need you to mark it with a flare so we don’t miss it or have to slow down.”

“Got it, ma’am.” I called back. Flaring my wings, I did my best to drain my speed as I came up alongside Bertha. The rumbling of her massive tires along the frozen pavement drowned off as I zipped into the reactor alcove that Boiler was normally in. As I did, I noticed something I hadn’t before. It was unusually warm here... Well, of course it was warm here, Night. It’s almost like you’re sitting right next to a multi-ton reactor that ran off of magical radiation.

“Alright.” Boiler shouted as she trotted out of the ammo storage cage. She shivered for a moment as she ducked the short distance back toward the reactor alcove. She squeezed herself back as close to the reactor as she could, holding her hoof out as she smiled. “Here you go!” Without time to object, I found the round red flare shoved into my muzzle. “Now get going!”

Shrugging, I turned and flared my wings. Jumping up, I pushed myself off of the reactor bay railing and took flight away from Bertha again. Twisting my wings, I caught the freezing air and turned myself back the way the convoy was heading. Stiffly holding my legs out, I torqued and whipped my tail as Lucky and the runner crept up the road behind me. As I’d planned for, I lost airspeed faster than altitude. After a few moments, the runner pulled up under me, and I flared my wings just enough to drop me onto the roof.

It’s funny just how routine this sort of thing had become. After having spent so much time on the road now, this sort of thing didn’t seem so bad anymore. Dropping down around the side of the Dizzitron, I couldn’t help but smirk at how afraid I’d still been of the thing only weeks ago now. Getting myself strapped in, I hooved the harness for it shut with a click, and braced myself for the spin.

As always, the machine whirred as it pulled me around and around. The mechanical clack of the harness releasing me was just the same as always, and I fought back a smile as I was tossed through the frigid air. Shooting my wings out as I came to the peak of my tumbling flight, I torqued them in order to flip myself right side up. As I did, Hispano came up beside me and offered a shivering smile.

With a wave to her, I smiled and rolled into a dive. I picked up an extraordinary amount of speed before holding my wings out again and pulling myself out of it. I shot along over the top of the hauler, and reveled in the frozen air with the wind whistling around me. Now that I had a job to do, I had something to focus on.

“Alright, Bombay.” Delilah’s voice crackled in my ear. “You’re going to be looking for a large set of green road signs. That’ll tell you when you’re just about at the exit we’re looking for..” I was about to tell her that I understood, but found myself blocked by the flare in my muzzle. “Remember to be careful. You’re going to be out of communication range, so you won’t be able to call in for help if there’s a trap ahead. Just to be clear, we’re taking the left road rather than the right exit, so just put the lit flare in the middle of the road and find somewhere to hide until we pass. Lucky will stop and pick you up once we’re on the new course.”

Increasing my angle toward the road, I pushed myself to pick up even more speed. As I did, I let out a shiver as the air tore across my stiff wings. After a few moments, the sound of the convoy behind me drained away, and I was left with just the sound of the wind against me face.

It was after another solid minute or so of flying that I realized that I had dropped quite low to the road. The black asphalt that zipped along under me had an icy sheen across it, but was otherwise untouched by the snow that blanketed everything else. I wondered if it was just the Road Crew that kept them cleared of snow, or if it had been something done to them during the war that made them nearly immune to the cold. I wonder…

My thoughts were cut off as I realized that in concentrating on the road, I’d drifted off course a bit. I pulled my legs up and torqued myself to turn, narrowly missing the snow laden branches of a fairly full pine tree. Breathing a sigh of relief as I straightened myself out, I shook off the near miss just in time to slam into something that had been set next to the road.

With a whimper and a crunch, I plowed right through a wooden barricade of some sort. Instinctively I pulled my wings closed and curled as I tumbled. Hitting the snow, I was pulled into a somersault before flopping down into the thick white powder. Spitting the flare from my muzzle, I groaned and wiggled myself against the cold snow a bit.

Wings intact? Check. Three legs? Check. Prosthetic…? I sat up and wiggled my stump, making the black steel blade attached to me wiggle as well. And check! Well hey, looks like I’m alright this time!

You know, it’s not a moment of pride that while you came out of a crash alright, you’ve come to realize that it’s only because you’ve learned how to crash land yourself safely from experience. Yeah, not my best moment as a member of the pegasus race, but I’m alive, so that’s saying something! Then again, maybe I should just be thankful I still have the rest of my legs…

Pulling myself up and out of the haunch deep snow, I shook the loose powder from me and looked around for the flare. Quickly finding it again, I hoofed it up into my muzzle and looked around. To my delight, I found that the thing I’d hit was actually a sign that had been placed across the left side exit to the road! How fortunate!

However, after a moment of looking back across the road, I realized that even through the thick fog, I could see that this exit wasn’t the only one. The far right side of the road had an exit, and the main road itself seemed to continue off in a straight fashion until it disappeared into the drifting white foggy nothingness that enveloped this place.

If we were going to take the right side exit, did Mrs. Delilah want to take the road still, or… no, Night. Stop second guessing yourself before you overthink it. Mrs. Delilah said that we were going left, so that’s where you’re going to put the flare. There’s no reason for you to be standing around debating this with yourself.

Hoofing at the flare in my muzzle, I bit down and pulled the cap to strike the flare. With a fizzling sizzle, the flare sparked to life. I cringed as the burning stick nearly blinded my left eye, but with a nickering swing of my head, I tossed it into the middle of the left side exit.

Okay, step one, done!

Turning myself back toward the trees that sat alongside the road, I hopped myself through the fluffy snow toward them to bunker down until Lucky stopped for me. As I did, I nearly tripped over the remains of the wooden barricade. Looking down at the icy wood, I noticed that under a light layer of snow, there had been words written on it. Hoofing the snow away, I figured that it wouldn’t matter what it said, but if I didn’t sate my curiosity, then I’d be wondering about it all day.

TURN BACK
STONE TOWN AHEAD

Huh, how peculiar. I wonder what it meant, or how long ago it was written. Still, I shrugged it off and made my way back toward one of the trees. I found a fairly small tree to ‘hide’ with, and proceeded to sit my flank down into the fresh, cold powder that sat under it.

Funny, I’d forgotten a ‘fun fact’ my mother had taught me just a few years ago. Her mother, my grandmother, had gotten separated on a cloud patrol back during one of the worst winters on record. She hadn’t had any advanced training at the time, and did what she had to in order to get back alive. One of the best things that she’d found to do when cold was to keep moving to keep your core temperature up.

Pegasi are well insulated, sure, but that’s because we run hot, so to speak. Since flying takes a lot of energy, we’re warming the air faster than thermodynamics can whick that heat away, which is why it was only uncomfortable flying in this weather, when everyone else was freezing their flanks off.

But while I wasn’t exactly in a life-or-death survival situation, I’d begun to ponder if I should have listened to grandma’s advice. After only a minute of sitting there in the middle of nature's refrigerator, even though I could hear the convoy coming up the road, I was pretty certain that Lucky was going to have to chisel out my frozen corpse from the snow. And supposedly, it only got colder from here…

Hispano still shivered as she flew beside me. While I’d spent a good few minutes warming up in the runner, she didn’t have that luxury. Sure, Lucky made it sound like a hassle to be cramped inside the runner all day, but fuck, at least he had heat! Still, the moment I’d gotten back up in the air with her, I could tell she’d perked up again. After our talk this morning, she’d been surprisingly quiet due to nearly being frozen.

But I think she’d been quiet for a different reason, and I had an idea of why at least. Every time she looked over at me, she’d smiled. For as annoying as she’d been since we met, I couldn’t deny that this was probably the first time I’d seen her so relaxed. It was like seeing Buck after our first time together, and it made me smile in return. I know I’d thought about it before, but it just felt good to remind myself that I’d found a place down here in the wastes where I fit. A family that cared for me as much as I cared for them.

“Do you have your headset on, Bombay?” Delilah’s voice poured into my ear with the same dullness as ever. I really did like the idea of having headsets, but with Delilah it only served as a reminder that bland reinforcement to do my job was only a button press away. Though to be honest, I didn’t mind all that much. As I’d said before, at least it had served to distract me from the blistering cold up here. Even if it wasn’t that great of a distraction at all...

“Yeah, what’s up?” I said, scanning my eyes across the lightening fog that still obscured everything. At the very least we’d probably break out of the fog soon enough, and maybe Hispano and I can actually do the job we were up here freezing our flanks off for.

“I don’t know how you even managed it, but we’re on the wrong fucking road.” Her sharp accusation made me go stiff in the air. “We should have merged back onto highway five by now, and none of this terrain is correct.”

“I-I put the flare on the left exit, just like you said! This is the road you wanted.” Seriously? I did everything she said. There’s no way I screwed this up, not when there were only two choices!

“My barometer says otherwise. We are way over altitude for where we’re supposed to be.” She stated flatly. Over altitude? That’s not possible, the traction I could feel against my wings meant that the air was way too thick to be that high up. Even if my muscles felt stronger than ever from their extended use over the last weeks, I’d still notice that… right? “Talon, see if you can climb above the fog layer to get a better look at what’s ahead of us. I don’t want any surprises up ahead on the road.”

“Alright, I’ll scout ahead a bit.” Hispano answered her before giving a few powerful flaps of her wings. In the same way she always had, the sheer amount of speed she picked up from her wings made me jealous as she zipped off and disappeared in the fog ahead. “After all this, we’re going to have a talk about a better callsign than just ‘talon’.” She grumbled through the headset. “Also, the clouds clear up in just a moment, I’m going to check ahead on the road.”

“I think you’re missing the point of a callsign. It’s supposed to be easier to remember and callout.” Hardcase laughed over his headset. “Besides, you don’t get to choose your nickname.”

“Dum Dum chose his, why can’t I chose mine?” She shot back with an incredibly objectionable statement. “Ooo, like Typhoon, or Tempest. Maybe go with something old school, like ‘Hurricane’!”

“He didn’t choose his, it was mistakenly given to him.” Violet called up with a grunt. “And Hispano is fairly distinguishable when called out. You don’t need a nickname.”

Even through the light winds in the thinning fog, the sound of the Dizzitron spinning up below me was unmissable. With the metallic ping that it always gave, the old machine flung Violet into the air at an incredible speed. So much so that I almost didn’t have time to roll myself out of the way as she zipped past.

“Then drop the whole ‘talon’ thing and just call me Hispano!” Hispano grumbled over the headset, “Besides…” Her voice cut out with the jarring sound of crackling static. I listened to it for a few moments, waiting for her to continue, but… nothing but static came through.

“Hispano?” I asked as Violet came down through the fog next to me. Only static filled silence filled the air. Okay, while I knew she’d been quiet before, she was never this quiet given the opportunity. “Hispano, are you there?”

“Maybe her headset died.” Violet offered as she kept her eyes straight ahead. “Or she’s scouting outside of radio range?” Why would she have gone that far ahead without calling it out?

The fog wisped around us oddly for a moment, quieting Violet and making the both of us look around. Patches of bright blue sky began to peek through it, and a soft breeze curled the thin patches of fog like melted marshmallow. The extra wind pushed up under my wings, and I felt myself carried up and out over the flat cloud cover.

The stark, grey mountains still surrounded us, even this high up. They towered over us on almost every side with a surprising height, boxing us into a steep canyon of dull stone. There was no snow on them, no vegetation grew in the sharp and jagged crevices and cliffs that jutted off of them. Valleys and fields of darkly colored stones sat under the towering canyon walls, looking like barren and empty shorelines following a winding river of white.

I shifted my stiff forehooves, falling into a soft bank as the ‘river’ under me curved around one of the large cliffsides. The convoy broke through the fog, following the clean black asphalt road that wound alongside one of the canyon walls. This place was truly unlike any place I’d ever seen before. Even though it was desolate and flat in color, it held an odd beauty all it’s own.

However, as both Violet and I silently flew our way around the bend of the next cliff, we both spotted something lying in the middle of the road. It was a grey, misshapen stone that looked far too defined to be natural. Just past it, more odd stones sat scattered about, trailing up the road toward a surprisingly bright yellow building surrounded by dozens of old carts, wagons, and even a few rusting tanks. Oddly enough, they all looked absolutely loaded up with supplies and gear, but nopony was in sight around any of them at all.

What was most impressive among the odd collection of things, was the large rusting metal bunker that had been built across the road for some reason. Sort of rectangular with a beveled front and rear, it had a jutting triangular point along each of its long sides. On those points, a pair of large cannons sat nested on each face, probably in order to be able to attack every direction possible around it. Other guns poked out of various points on it with a two sided symmetry that made it look more like a flat boat than a bunker. Lastly, and unmissable among its oddness, was the enormous painted letter K that was still visible across its roof amid the rust and corrosion. Still, the wasteland was a weird place, and I guess I could chalk this up to that as well.

“What is this place?” Violet’s voice shocked me out of my daze as I looked around. “We never hit anything like this on either of our trips up here.”

“I can’t be sure.” Delilah’s voice came over the radio with a nervousness that betrayed her true feelings about this place. “I want everypony on alert until we know exactly what’s going on here.”

Looking around the place as we grew closer, the scattered, odd looking stones became more and more defined. I felt my breath leave as I realized that they were in fact, statues. Most of them were of ponies, but there were many other races to be found as well. Minotaurs, Hellhounds, Griffons, and even Cattle… there were so many statues here that I’d had a bad feeling that whoever took the time to carve them all probably didn’t want to be disturbed.

“Oh goddesses…” Violet gasped. “That’s Hispano…”

Pointing her hoof, she guided my sight to the original stone we’d spotted. There, laying in the middle of the road, was a small statue of a flying griffon. Held at the ready in her talons was the sturdy, well kept cannon that could only be Suiza.

“I… I don’t understand...” My brain felt like it short circuited. “What… how could that be her?”

“Wait, I know where this is...” Hardcase gasped sharply through his headset. “This is Stone Town!”

“Is that supposed to mean something?” I asked as my heart began to beat harder. Okay, don’t panic. Hispano’s going to be fine, we’ll all be fine.

Movement caught my eye down among the statues. As if it had jumped straight out of a nightmare, some of the statues themselves began to move. In their hooves, claws, and hands, most of them pulled out various weapons and pointed them up the road.

A startling rumbling swept through the canyon as a pair of dark exhaust plumes rose from the bunker in the middle of the road. Each of the two cannons on the bunker turned, reorienting themselves toward the convoy as they rolled closer. With a metallic screech, the whole thing began to twist, spinning itself around in line with the road with a lumbering pace that gave away just how heavy it was. It wasn’t a bunker… it was an enormous fucking tank…

“Greetings, weary travelers.” A calm voice came through our headsets. “Bring your convoy to a stop just in front of your stoney griffon friend, or risk being fired upon by my compatriots.”

“We are a peaceful convoy. You have no right to harm me or my crew.” Delilah’s voice held a sharper tone to it again. She was angry, and just hearing it from her lit a fire in my veins. Still, Delilah slowed Bessy down slightly as she came around the stretch of road that Hispano now laid on. Turning toward the hostile force, I tried to push back the fear and prepare for a fight.

Okay, think. That’s a giant tank, and several of the stone statues are alive and armed. Even if Delilah and the convoy came to a stop, we’re still better armed and armored than any of the statues, so the tank has to be the one thing to go. Looking around it, it was heavily rusted, and probably wouldn’t offer much protection against anything but small guns. However, the large vents on it’s back flapped open intermittently with exhaust, and I felt a smirk pull across my muzzle. Just a grenade or two down those vents and that behemoth would be toast, just like Double Drum...

“Just say the word, ma’am.” I spoke up over the radio. “I can knock out…”

My body locked up, and I found the world go dark in an instant.

I blinked a few times, for some reason staring up into the open blue skies and towering slate mountains above me. The cold asphalt I was sprawled out across was an odd sensation to have come out of nowhere. Now that I thought about it… how did I get here?

“Night?” Delilah’s sharp voice came as her drooping muzzle peered overhead. At least that’s a familiar sight among my confusion. Not welcoming, but familiar nonetheless. “You back with us?”

“I uh…” I wasn’t sure how to answer such an odd question. “I didn’t know I’d left?”

“Don’t worry, Dum Dum.” Hispano sighed as she too appeared over me. She held out a talon to me, using her other to wipe at her teary eyes. “I didn’t remember what happened either.” Taking Hispano’s talon, she helped pull me back up to my hooves. “But hey, if being petrified was on your bucket list, you can check that one off... for now at least.” She gave a nervous smile and squeak that tried to hide the impact of her words.

“Petrified!? What the hell is going on here?” Wait, we were attacked, right? I shook my daze off and looked around. Standing out along the road behind Delilah, was the whole crew.

“Alright, now that I’ve returned your companions to normal,” A shrill voice from my side jabbed at my ears. “Let’s talk business.”

Turning around, I found… something, standing in the road talking to us. A tattered, heavy cloak maybe half a pony high sat draped over a small creature, hiding it’s features other than a pair of bright red burning eyes. Already I could feel that pit in my stomach returning like an old friend.

“My crew and I are open to negotiations, but I will not sell any of them off to you.” Delilah reached up adjusting her glasses on her muzzle. “Now, we have a schedule to keep, so what is it that you want from us?”

“Entertainment.” The small creature gave a raspy laugh. “It gets so dull up here, and we could all use a few new distractions.”

“I’m sorry, but I will not offer up any of my crew for sexual gratification either.” Delilah snorted. Her retort only drew another laugh from the creature.

“Please, what do you take us for?” The creature hissed as it spoke. It’s cloak shifted, and a small, slate grey wing poked out of it. “Do my compatriots look like they need any sexual gratification?”

Looking up behind the creature, I gazed across the odd assortment of statues that moved and gazed back at us. Most of them looked to be made of the same dull stone as the mountains around here, and were heavily cracked at various points. Some were even missing limbs.

A hellhound statue in particular stood out ahead of the others. It wore jagged claw marks across it’s chest, stretching out in a straight line that met where the end where one of it’s massive arms used to sit. It’s stoney body stretched and breathed like a normal being, but each time it did, grains of stone crumbled off of it’s injuries. It caught my gaze at it, and uttered a low growl to me.

“Mason.” The creature in front of me spoke, perking the ears of the enormous stone hound. “Do me a favor and watch the blue one. I don’t trust her.”

The hellhound responded in silence by lifting it’s remaining stone arm. In it, it held some sort of boxy weapon. It reminded me of the rectangular energy weapons the Enclave sometimes issued, but it looked... crude. Coiled copper wires ran along the length under it’s shrouded barrel, and a square nozzle stuck out it’s front. Overall, I couldn’t be sure what kind of weapon it was, only that it would probably kill me if I did anything wrong.

“There is no need for that.” Delilah spoke up sharply. “Just tell us what you want. Can you be more specific than just ‘entertainment’?”

“Sure, but where’s the fun in that?” The creature chortled. “Do you have any books perhaps? I love a good story, and I’ve already read everything in the hospital library.”

Hospital? Looking over to the yellow building, it hit me. That’s the same yellow that the Ministry of Peace used. Could this have been some wartime facility? But what was it doing so far up in the mountains away from everything else?

“I do not.” Delilah lied. Well, she wasn’t specifically lying, but the one book we did have was something I’m sure any of us would fight our way out of here to keep.

“You’re lying.” The creature grumbled. “But that’s fine, I have an idea for how I can obtain your book.” I wasn’t quite sure how it knew, but again it’s wing protruded from it’s robes. “Are you a gambling donkey? I’ve always been quite fond of gambling, so would you like to make a wager? Perhaps, with your book as the prize?”

“Ma, let me do this.” Happy spoke up, drawing an exasperated sigh from Delilah. “You know I’m good at gambling, I can win whatever game he want’s to play.” He stood up tall, hoofing back his well combed black mane before he straightened out his floral print shirt. “Gin Rummy, Blackjack, any kind of Poker. I’ll take you on.”

“Quiet, Happy.” She growled to him, shooting back an angry glare that simply made him harumph. “What did you have in mind, mr…?”

“My name is Lexikos Calcatrix.” The creature spoke. Slowly, it’s wing reached up and tipped back the thick cloak that obscured it. What emerged from under the fabric was grotesque and unlike anything I’d ever seen before. A small, round bird with the head and wings of a chicken met my eyes, but the lower half of it was like it had been fused with a snake. It’s reptilian scales and avian feathers were made of the same stone as around here, and a dozen or so glowing red eyes populated it’s head like boils. They each tweaked and blinked on their own, each one gazing in a different direction all at once.

“Is there something easier we could call you?” Happy spoke up, quickly getting another annoyed glare from Delilah.

“I suppose.” The odd creature grumbled, rubbing it’s small wing under it’s cracked stoney beak. “Back in the days of the war, there were some who called me…” It paused, looking up with a smirk. “Lex.”

“Wait, the war?” Like always, the words tumbled out of my loose muzzle. However, my question only drew an equally annoyed look from both Delilah and the creature before me.

“Yes.” It spat. “You ponies and your dreadful tiff with the zebra. I was drawn into your war and used as a weapon when I had no part in your petty conflict.” It glared at Delilah, it’s eyes burning like hot coals. “I gave my legs for that war. Your war.” Pointing back at the statues standing behind it, the creature snarled, “Each of Equestria’s cocitraces gave up something for that war, and then we were sent here to die in this terrible, isolated place.” A short silence fell across the air before the creature gave out a small sigh as it looked over it’s own stoney body. “But I have to thank the zebras for their bombs. These wondrous mutations have helped me survive and to convert my compatriots here to living stone. I’ve used them to take my revenge on ponykind tenfold over the years, all thanks to traders and looters who have mistakenly happened across my fair hospital...”

“Well, Lex,” Delilah cleared her throat, pulling a multi-eyed twitching glare from the small creature. “I would love to hear more about your bit-a-dozen tragic past, but my crew and I have places to go. So like you said, let's talk business.”

“I propose a riddle.” A wretched smile pulled across Lex’s warped face, and it’s each of it’s eyes brightened to match the pair around it’s beak. “If you can solve the riddle, then you will be allowed passage through these grounds. If not…”

“You’ll get my book and turn us to stone.” Delilah spoke flatly, pulling the thunder of the creature’s words right out from under it. “Yeah, get on with it.”

“You have terrible manners, do you know that?” Lex looked stunned for a moment, but shook off the sharp remark. “However, if you are so eager to become permanent fixtures of our stone garden, then so be it. Listen up, because I will not repeat myself.” Lex gave a wretched hack to clear his throat, so much of one in fact that a pair of stones flew out of his mouth and scattered across the asphalt. “An egotistical and tyrannical king trots into an empty room to reflect upon his own power, wealth, and greatness. As he enters, he is approached by three separate challengers to his rightful place on the throne. However, as much as he wants to, he cannot bring himself to strike them down. Why is this?”

That’s an absurd question!? How is that even fair!?

“One challenger is his shadow, the other his echo in the empty room, and the last his own reflection on the mirrored wall.” Delilah spoke up without missing a beat, “All three are technically himself, and the king is vain enough that he cannot harm anything resembling himself.” With a bored sigh, Delilah blinked as Lex all but turned white as a sheet.

“Hey, I remember that one from when I was a little colt!” Happy laughed.

“I said stay quiet, Happy.” She grumbled and stomped her hoof, making him flinch. “Now that you're done wasting my time with a question out of a foals book of fairy tales, I'd like you to move your vehicle out of the road so my crew and I can get moving again.”

“No.” Lex screamed, sharply pointing his wing at Delilah. “I will not be bested. Not in two centuries has anyone guessed right, and I will not accept defeat by the likes of you.” As Lex glared at her, the statues behind him rose their guns and pointed them at us. “Double or nothing.”

“I’ve already won free passage for my crew.” Delilah snorted again. “What more would I need from a creature like you?”

“If you were to best me a second time, I will turn myself to stone.” Lex twisted his beak into a snarl that he turned and showed to all his statues behind him. “No pony would ever need to fear Stonetown again, and everything I have collected would become yours.” Nodding to the Hellhound, it shifted its aim right for Delilah. “Do not mistake my words as a friendly request.”

“Fine.” She sighed, sitting down. “Because I have no other choice, I accept.”

“Excellent! However...” Lex giggled, “You, my dear jenny, are not allowed to answer.” Raising his wing, he shifted it along the rest of us, ending it on me with a burning glare. “Only they may answer.”

“Hey, that’s not fair.” Violet groaned. “What are you trying to…” The words died in her throat as Delilah shifted her gaze to her.

“Alright, if there are no objections then…” Lex gleefully rubbed his tiny wings together. “Remember, I will not repeat myself, and you will only speak up if you have an answer.” I had a pit in my stomach forming this whole time already, but it dropped straight to the ground as the small creatures seemed to focus all of it’s eyes on me. “What is the exact optimum angular velocity of a teenaged pegasus mare in a forty five degree dive?”

What!? I thought it was going to be a riddle, not a science pop quiz. Nopony could possibly… this was fucking insane! I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from shouting every obscenity to this pint sized tyrant. Still, someone had to answer…

“Like, miles or kilometers per hour, man?” Surprisingly, the first one to answer was Gearbox.

“Ooo, yeah!” Boiler tacked on with an elated gasp. “Or what about knots!? Bombay knows how fun those are,” She gave me a wink that made my eye twitch. “if yah know what I’m sayin’...” Oh goddesses, don’t make this about Buck and I!

“If you’re basing this off Night there,” Violet hummed and hawed as she spoke, tapping her wingtips against her chin. “Are you accounting for his flat feathers on this hypothetical mare or not?”

“Also, what altitude would this mare start from and end on? Air resistance also factors in with that.” Hispano grumbled. “Urf, it’s still too early in the day for that much math…”

"I... what… that's not fair! You can’t ask me questions, you have to answer me plainly!" Lex closed his numerous eyes tightly, curling his stubby small wings and trembling with a profound rage that I could almost feel from where I stood. You know what, maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to piss this thing off with a sarcastic answer… “In all my years, never have I met more insolent…”

*PING*

A sharp sound rang through the air as Lex was rendered into nothing more than a fine, grey dust. The resounding sound drifted off into the surrounding mountains as the small creature was just… gone. The sharp whine of a filling capacitor drew my attention to the Hellhound with the boxy rifle. Slowly, it raised it’s rifle up and laid it across it’s shoulder.

“We've been waiting years to beat him at his own game, but he'd always kept at least one eye open on us at all times.” The hellhound, Mason, spoke with a gravelly tone that reminded me of Buck’s voice when he’d been disappointed in me. One of unspeakable sorrow, but still strong enough to say what must be said. “He's held us all hostage as his ‘entertainment’ in this town for far too long when none of us care anymore about his petty hatred towards ponies. But you've given us the opportunity to free ourselves, and for that, we will always be in your debt.”

“I don’t want anything he owned, I just want to get back on the road. You are free to do whatever.” Delilah raised her hoof to her glasses and pulled them off, inspecting them before hoofing off a single errant hair that had fallen across them. “My crew and I bid you a good day and the best of luck with your town.”

“You don’t want to check any of the caravans?” The hellhound almost looked surprised at her words. To be honest, I was a little bit as well. “We have many things you might find useful, and many of us are too damaged to return our wagons to where we came from. Besides, I’ve always found it peaceful in these mountains. However, being a well read donkey, perhaps you may be interested in some of the books Lex kept in the library?”

“Actually,” Delilah’s ear’s perked at that. “I have one to leave. It's not for reading, but at least I'll know it's safe here. It must never leave this place unless in the grasp of one of my crew you see before you today. Do you understand?”

“Ma’am, are you sure that’s smart?” Violet spoke up as she took a step forward. “If Solomon ever finds out that it's here, he'll come in and destroy this place looking for it.”

I couldn’t fault her on that. Leaving the book here would mean that Solomon could just backtrack for it. Sure we’d get ahead again, but he could always catch up again, or worse, beat us there. Still, for Violet and I, the steeled glance that Delilah gave us was the only answer we needed.

“Let him try!” Mason laughed, sending crumbling bits down from the cracks across his body. “Whoever this ‘Solomon’ is, he will find that we are not so easy to kill. At least, not yet anyway.” Looking down at the pile of grey dust that was once Lex, Mason snorted. “Now that Lex is dead, I am not sure what will be come of the rest of us affected by his magics. However, that is not your problem to worry about. We will look after the book.”

“Thank you.” Delilah gave a courteous nod before turning around to the rest of us. Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes and stood there in silence for a moment. Slowly, she opened one eye again and looked over her crew. “What the fuck are you all just standing around for?” Her sharp words were an ambush against all of us, and we all jumped about a foot into the air. “Let’s get back on the road already!”

“To all you fine honeys out there tuning into Factory Radio, it’s time for some uplifting news. Reports have been trickling in from a little settlement in the north you all may have heard of. News is that Destruction Bay is under new management. That’s right, the former leader of the H.M.S. Mercy has stepped down following the death of one Mrs. Tapit. You heard me right, folks, Mr. Wizard’s one and only connection to the chem producing city is out, and from what we here at Factory Radio have heard through the grapevine, is that his influence is out for good. Let’s hope this signals the return of the Volunteer Corps, so that aid can once again reach those of you who need it. But for now, like always, I’m going to leave you with a little something new to celebrate with. So get on that dance floor and show everypony your sweet, sweet dance moves.”

There was a sharp bump in the road as the convoy rolled back down the mountains and onto highway five from our ‘detour’. It startled the sleepy griffon who sat curled against me on the rec area couch, but Hispano only mumbled before pressing herself against me again. Shivering, I pulled the rainbow rug around the two of us and tried to focus on the music that DJ PowerColt was playing at the moment. Yet, my mind wandered down to the metal tags sitting around my neck.

Delilah had trusted me with the key to finding the Ark, but I almost screwed that up by being too zealous and overconfident. Looking back out on the road behind us, I found that some of the snow down at this lower altitude was thinner, and a short, but light rain had created a haze in the thankfully now fogless air. Now that even that had passed, the bright sun above did it’s best to pour it’s warmth down onto us through the wet and slushy snow filled forests around us.

I wasn’t sure how it could rain here while it was so cold, or why it didn’t even feel like the sun helped anything at all. But like our encounter earlier, I should have assumed that things wouldn’t align to make any sense. The wasteland was a confusing chaotic mess to me, and even if I was the only pony who saw it that way, it didn’t make adapting to it any less important.

I heard the latch on Happy and Lucky’s container flip out of its ring, and looked over in time to watch Happy walk out with a yawn. His shirt was wrinkled, and he carried his small guitar across his back. Shortly after squinting from meeting the light of day again, came a shiver that ran across his entire body. With a groan he looked down at me and trotted over. Without even asking, he shoved himself down next to me on the couch and leaned over.

“Oh, geez it’s cold.” He mumbled as he gave a few huffs into his forehooves. “You don’t mind if I join you?”

“Uh,” Yeah, I really do. “I guess not.” I grunted and pulled the rainbow rug around Hispano and I tighter. Gee, it’s almost like if you were cold, then why did you come out here in the first place?

"Hey, can I ask you something, Night?" The almost hesitant tone that came from Happy perked my ears. Well, I guess that was one reason he could have come out here. “Do you... think I'm a joke?”

“What…?” I didn’t quite understand why he’d ask me that, or what he’d even expected to hear as an answer.

“It's just, I've seen the way Ma’ treats you.” He sighed, slumping further back into the couch like he was trying to become part of it. “She’s never looked at me the same way she does with you.”

“Like what?” While I do understand that she may have seen the ‘potential for leadership’ in me, I don’t think she gave me any special look or anything. “What do you mean?”

“She looks at you like you have the potential to be somepony. Like you ain’t a screwup.” He muttered with a sheltered resentment, but as I went to point out that I am far from perfect, he raised his hoof to silence me. “I know you’ve screwed up a lot,” Well that wasn’t quite how I was going to phrase it… “But, she believes in you, Night. She’s never even given me a second look, not even after my dad… was gone.”

“I… don’t really know what she sees in me, to be honest.” I wasn’t sure if I could find the right words, but my muzzle didn’t care. “I’m still just getting to know myself as I am now, and even then, she seems to know me better than myself most of the time.” With a sigh, I looked at Happy. My eyes wandered from his meticulously coiffed mane, down to his flashy floral print red shirt. “Maybe you’re the same way.” My words pulled a confused look from him. “Or maybe it’s because she doesn’t like who you’re pretending to be.”

“You mean like, my threads?” Happy looked down at his shirt before a stiff laugh forced it’s way out of his muzzle. “Come on, it can’t be that! It’s just a stupid shirt, it doesn’t make me, Me, you know?”

“Yeah, but it’s part of the whole package of you.” I paused, trying to find a way to explain it. “Why do you have the attitude you do? Why use that fake accent around every mare? Why do you style your mane up like that?”

“Cause this is the King’s style, ya’ dig?” Happy flipped the collar of his shirt up and crossed his forehooves. “Ya’ got a problem with it, then why don’t ya’ get lost? Just tryin’ ta’ have a nice conversation was all.”

“That right there.” I reached over and prodded at Happy’s chest. “That’s what I’m talking about. You aren’t really like that, Happy. That’s not you.”

“Yeah, but it’s all I know!” He growled before a disgusting smirk pulled it’s way across his muzzle. “It’s all that my father left with me. I hated that bastard, but he introduced me to the King’s music, he let me watch the King’s old films.” Calming himself, he looked down at his shirt as his words grew softer. “The King… he had something that my father could never have in a million years. He had Marewaii, a paradise he shared with everypony around him. Everything he was, everything he stood for, it all helped him to reach it and become the King. That’s why I follow in his hoofsteps, because one day, I’ll take a boat and sail there to join him.”

“But what if that’s why Delilah doesn’t take you seriously?” My words tore him out of his own head. He scrunched up his muzzle, searching for something to say while I continued. “You know your mom hates everything that had to do with your father after what he did to you. Maybe she’s just afraid that you’ll become the same as he was.”

“Yeah, she’s already told me that.” He waved his hoof at me dismissively. “But I don’t care about the same thing as my father. He only wanted to find Marewaii for the drinks and the mares. It ain’t about that though, it’s about finding paradise.” Odd, because based on the way he acts, I would have assumed that Happy would want to go for the exact same reason... “You say you know this isn’t me, Night, but the real me? He’s a nopony. In following the King, I feel like I’m finally somepony in this wasteland, a real cool cat that can roll with the best of them.” Looking down, he pulled his guitar close to him. “Without the Uke, my shirt, any of it… I feel like I’m nothing out here.”

“Well,” Buck’s voice came from our container’s doorway, startling me enough that I nearly flopped against Happy. “Then you need to stop worrying about what your mother and others think, and just be who you need to be.”

“Really?” Happy huffed as he pushed me off of him. “You think I should?”

“I stood in my own way for long enough.” I gave him a nod, bringing a softer smile back to his muzzle. “If being that way makes you feel like you matter, then that is all that matters.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Thank you, both of you. It means a lot to hear that.” Happy gave a soft laugh as his smile faded. “Though, it doesn’t matter in the end anyway. I’ll never make it out to Marewaii.”

“Really? Why do you think that?” Hardcase called out as he trotted out of his room with a light shiver. “We are looking for a boat, after all.”

“True.” Happy gave another stiff laugh at that.

And as odd as it was, it made me laugh too. Like an infection, we all laughed, unfortunately rousing Hispano from her sleep. As she blinked and did her best to wake up from her short nap, a smile crawled across her beak for a moment before she looked out the back of the Rec area. She gave a few squinting blinks before going wide eyed.

Before a single sound could escape her beak, a shrieking whistle pierced the air, followed by an explosive blast that lit up the road behind us. From far down the road, a square tan tank rolled toward us at a good clip, flanked by what looked to be the BT-42 from Destruction Bay.

Before either of us could react from the first shot, a bright flash emitted from the gun on Guinness and Zibar’s tank. The shrieking shell slammed under the back of Lucky and the runner, and enveloped it in another blinding blast.

The cannon shot echoed off into the distance as bits of shrapnel sprinkled across the rec area’s floor. While it didn’t seem like it was a direct hit, the runner itself was blasted and tossed through the air. Rending slams filled our ears as the runner, with Lucky inside, rolled a few times before it dropped into the ditch alongside the road as a nearly unidentifiable mass of twisted, smoldering metal.

Shit.

Author's Note

Sorry for the shorter than average chapter this week, but with the way it ends, I can be you'll understand why I ended it there.

As always, big thanks to TheFurryRailFan for giving this chapter a going over before it's posted to help tighten it up! And of course, many thanks to Kkat for creating and letting us all run around in this fantastic wasteland universe.