Cheese TV

by Shinning Kristal

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy
Length: 4036

Cheese Sandwich is having a TV show like Weird Al!

Remember Al TV? what could happen if Cheese Sandwich had a TV show like Weird Al? well, here is the answer. Welcome to Cheese TV!

Published 2016-01-09 11:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-09 11:00:03 UTC

Welcome to Cheese TV!

The intrepid Daring Do was hanging in the side on a volcano after exploiting a zeppelin. She almost fall inside, but luckily, she was able to catch on the side of the volcano. But the luck was gone when she realized that Ahuitzotl, his worst enemy, was up of the volcano and in front of the hanging pony.

"So. Daring Do. It's look like this is the end for you, do you have some final words? " Ahuitzotl asked with a big grin, knowing the destiny of the explorer. Daring only smile.

" Yes. Got any–"

BZZZZZZT

PLEASE

STAND

BY

When the channel established again, everything had change to a small room. There was a painting of Princess Celestia, but the difference is that Celestia had a beard. The paints was in the wall. There was some big cheese in the form of a chair, and there was a picture of Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie dancing in a underwater party. But the most important thing in the room was the pony that was punching with a screwdriver a black box. The pony noted that the camera was broadcasting him, so he composed himself, coughed and smiled at the camera.

" Hi!, Cheese Sandwich here. Sorry to interrupt like this, but I just wanted to let you know that, I will take over the channel for a while. Nothing to worry about, I got my pirate satellite broadcasting system working here and, uh, " Cheese Sandwich punched the black box to make sure that everything was okay.

" Everything seem to be under control. So, for the next couple of hours I will be bring you up to date on all the latest breaking news and interviews from my closest personal friends in my party planner AND musical career, and I even world premiere my brand new videos, but most of all, " Cheese Sandwich laughed villainy for some seconds and looked at the camera again, but this time with a evil grin.

" I'll will play all the videos I wanna watch!, so sit down, shut up and hang on of you sites, because this... " the camera got close to Cheese Sandwich face while he was making a derpy face.

" is Cheese TV!. "

Cheese TV,

the channel that play music videos... and then I get tired and I just stop.

Cheese Sandwich was sitting in his cheese chair smiling. In front of him was a table.

" Hi everypony, we have soooo much surprises in this first episode!" Cheese Sandwich noticed a smiling white pegasus with yellow mane beside him.

" Sorry, not that kind of surprise," The smile of the pegasus vanished. Then, she began to fly out of camera with a sad face.

" Okay, we're gonna begin with this! " Cheese Sandwich got out of nowhere a vinyl record that looked old and dusty.

" This little thing is one of the first songs ever made, and were gonna play it soon, but now? " Cheese Sandwich hide the vinyl record somewhere, and watch the camera.

" We play our first song, well be right back, " Cheese Sandwich watched the camera for some silent seconds. " Now you can go to the kitchen to bite something, if you wanna i'm gonna show you one of my favorite recipe! " the pony put in the table two big bottles fulls of
candies and some bread.

" Some gummy worms and lollipops, " he bite the strange sandwich. " Yummy! you can make one too right now! " Cheese Sandwich said while still eating the sandwich, the camera got black.

Cheese TV is brought you by:

Flower In Can! you're never get hungry in hills and flower camps again!

Another Sweater (Another Tattoo.)

The back of Cheese Sandwich was in seeing. There was a black background, and he was wearing a green sweater with a lot of figures.

" I like the wool, made with good tool, I am so happy to tell, so I just gonna yell, I got another sweater, filly (Yeah!), another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater, ah!). "

" I'm not crazy and no, I don't lost a screw (yeah!), I just like the comfy of the fabric that feel so new (check it!), you just need my exact point of view (really?), and then you're gonna finally knew (aha!). "

" Here is Rainbow flying, Twilight while inventing (uh!), even Discord and Princess Celestia fighting (yeah!), next to a big marshmallow that is knitting (yeah!), wait... its Rarity. "

" I've got these pine trees, some singing bees, i'm like a living holiday (holiday!), I've seen bad stares, looks of stress, they don't like if I stay (stay!). "

" My friends say that I am obsessive (obsessive!), maybe therapy because if i'm depressive (depressive), can become very aggressive, Sive (Sive), Sive (Sive), Sive (yeah!). "

" I like the wool (yeah!), made with good tool (very good), and i've had more space, in the closet of my place, for another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater), another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater). "

" There's no limit (limit!), for this big habit (habit!), it's like my food (haha!), like a carrot to a rabbit, I got another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater), another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater), Yeeeeah! "

" Okay, maybe it make some heat, inside this cotton heaven (aaah!), even if there's sweat, never gonna back up of this eden (aaah!), when I got somewhere to eat, the glasses of water I order are seven (aaah!), check out this Discord dancing with the beat, and eating a candy pen. "

" I like the wool (yeah!), made with good tool (very good), and what could go wrong? (haha!), I have them for so long, i'll get another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater), another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater). "

" For some odd cause (cause), when visit my best friend (best friend), when we converse, she's just laughing without end, I got another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater) another sweater, filly (a-noth-noth-nother sweater, filly, noth-nother sweater), Yeeeeah! " A white hoof appeared with a knitting needle and pinch Cheese Sandwich.

" Ow!"

" Darling, I know it's none of my business, but don't you think you have enough sweaters? " Rarity asked while knitting the undone sweater that Cheese Sandwich was wearing.

" Oh, yeah, well, what you're gonna do if I don't stop? " Rarity smiled and pinched him again with the knitting needle.

"Ow! you mother-" the camera got black again.

Cheese TV,

no, we don't know if the moon is made of cheese. Stop asking!

The camera now was in the Cheese room, there was now a phonograph in the table, and Cheese Sandwich was about to launch flying the vinyl record.

" Hey camerapony, catch!" but before he was able to launch the vinyl record, he got to see that they were back. He hide fast the vinyl record, coughed and smiled at the camera.

" Welcome back, everypony! I was just about to put this in action, let's do it! " Cheese Sandwich tried to put the vinyl record into the phonograph, the vinyl record break in two. Cheese Sandwich was perplexed and sweating.

" Uh-oh, " Cheese Sandwich nervously tried to join the two piece of the broken vinyl record. Of course he doesn't have success in doing it.

" I really hope that Vinyl doesn't break my hooves... or my head... or my entire body, " Cheese Sandwich shivered at the thought.

" Okay, we better announce some news! " Cheese Sandwich yelled happily while he launched the broken vinyl record and the phonograph out of camera, there was a wilhelm scream. Then, he pulled a blackboard and put it in the table.

" This is Cheese News and our first new is here," Cheese Sandwich quickly drew Princess Luna singing in the moon. " There was some rumors that Princess Luna, the princess of the night was about to make one song called: "Dark part of the moon" some time soon, even if the moon is always dark in every part. The princess never admitted if this rumor was true or fake. "

" Let's continue, " Cheese Sandwich erase the doodle of Princess Luna and drew Pinkie Pie hopping around. " Pinkie Pie is copyrighting all of his songs. The main reason is because ponies are stealing his songs without permission. Like that time when a yellow somepony make use of one of his song without his permission... wait, " he see that the doodle of Pinkie Pie was watched him angry. " Oh! come on, I already said sorry. Look, i'm not gonna making it again without permission, ok? " the response make the doddle to nod happily and stopped to move. Cheese Sandwich only sighed and smiled.

" I hate when she does that to me, anyway," He erased the doodle of Pinkie Pie, and drew Vinyl with a angry look " a lot of ponies have watched and heard Vinyl Scratch running and shouting " I'm gonna kill Cheese Sandwich! " in ponyville... oh, " the face of Cheese Sandwich had gone completely white.

" I think is time for another song, we'll be right-"

" Cheese Sandwich! "

" Vinyl, calm down! "

" Green eggs and ham! she's here, run! " Cheese Sandwich and the camerapony started to run scared, the camera got black.

Cheese TV is brought you by:

The amazing hands! grab think like if there is no tomorrow!

Good & Gentle (White & Nerdy)

Discord, Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra were driving a carriage in a Manehattan, they stop in a red light and they all see Cheese Sandwich helping an old pony past the street.

" They see me helpin', a elder, I know they're all thinking i'm so good and gentle, think i'm just too good and gentle, think i'm just too good and gentle, can't you see i'm good and gentle? look at me, i'm good and gentle. "

" I wanna trot with the villains, But they just run and scream that i'm too good and gentle, think I'm just too good and gentle, think i'm just too good and gentle, i'm just too good and gentle, really white and nerdy. "

" I help everypony that is in trouble, you TV doesn't work? I made it stable, I will shut up you screechy table, rotten wall? now it's good marble, here is my telescope for the night so starry, did you bump with me? i'm so sorry, if were in the desert I make sure you're not dry, you're gonna never be weary. "

" Everypony is impressed that I do this all the days, especially without express, anger, fury or even stress, if you're thirsty take this water with ices, medicine if you're dazed, I have you a very nice surprise, it's a cake, now be amazed! "

" If there is a dragon better run, he's not doing now destruction, the fire in the house is now gone, I have a valiant heart like a lion, never being defeated by a drone, I put a cat out a tree and give him tune, selling candy with Bon Bon, getting right this carriage traction (here's the part I sing on). "

" You see me greetin', an old deer, I know in my heart they think i'm good and gentle, think i'm just too good and gentle, think I'm just too good and gentle, can't you see i'm good and gentle? look at me, i'm good and gentle. "

" I'd like to go with the villains, although it's apparent i'm too good and gentle, think I'm just too good and gentle, think I'm just too good and gentle, i'm just too good and gentle, how'd I get so good and gentle? "

" Need some heat? here is my scarf, cleaning this new barf, the timberwolf go away saying arf, scared lot of bad dwarf, never turning a SOS, avoiding every distress, fixing with Rarity this dress, never being careless. "

" searching lost key, never losing attorney, gonna always obey, your day never gonna get grey, making a delicious dinner, holding this moving ladder, never arriving later, secretly helping this adventurer. "

" All equestria is my pal, something that is logical, i'm loved by the ponies, the princesses, I even get a medal, tissues for somepony emotional., nopony with me is asocial, swear to never gonna do betrayal, doing every promised deal. "

" They're just laughin', drinking cider, and evading me 'cause i'm so good and gentle, Just because i'm good and gentle, just because i'm good and gentle, all because i'm good and gentle, holy celestia, i'm good and gentle. "

" I wanna bowl with the villains, but, oh well, it's obvious i'm good and gentle, think i'm just too good and gentle, think i'm just too good and gentle, i'm just too good and gentle, look at me, i'm good and gentle. "

Cheese Sandwich crossed her hooves with a smile being in front of the camera, while the villains and the mane six were fighting behind him, the camera got black.

Cheese TV,

if you have problems, watch this show and polka all the night!

The camera now was recording a different room. The room was color coffee and there was two seats, Cheese Sandwich was in one seat (he had a black eye patch). The other one was occupied by a grey pony with a pink bow-tie.

" Welcome back to Cheese TV. Right now is time to our exclusive interview with the famous cello player, Octavia Melody! " Cheese Sandwich clap with his hooves while smiling.

" It's my pleasure, and sorry about your eye. Vinyl can be a little... violent when you break any of her things," Octavia was feeling sorry for Cheese Sandwich.

" Hey! " somepony yelled angry out of camera.

" Don't worry, at least I look like a pirate! ok, first question, " Cheese Sandwich got some papers out of nowhere.

" Do you like cheesecake? " he asked with a serious face, Octavia just got a little confused.

" Eh, yes. "

" Even the one made by Vinyl, " Cheese Sandwich had a eyebrow up.

" No, thanks. I wanna have a long life. "

" Hey! my cheesecake is better black! " Vinyl screamed angry again while being out of camera.

" Well, that answer my question, let's continue, " Cheese Sandwich get out a fresh bass out of nowhere. " Could you please drop this? " Octavia just see the bass for some seconds and then drop it from Cheese Sandwich hooves.

" Done. Next question, please, " Octavia was a little unamused about the weirds questions.

" Right, what is the weirdest thing that had happened to you? "

" Talked to you, " Octavia was smiling, Vinyl was laughing out of camera. " And of course Pinkie Pie."

" ... Touche, anyway, our next question is. The golden cello of the fantasy sonata really exist? "

" I hope, and i'm the only pony that's gotta touch it. Got it! " Octavia had noticed that she was holding Cheese Sandwich and was angrily shake him, She released him and coughed. " Sorry, something got me. "

" Yeah, sure... " Cheese Sandwich was cleaning the dust of his yellow shirt. " Our last question of today is, do you taste like cinnamon? " Octavia just glare him with a death stare. he was just whistling without making eyes contact.

" Yes, she taste like cinnamon."

" Vinyl! "

" What?, he asked, " Octavia was just blushing and ashamed. Vinyl had started to laugh again and Cheese Sandwich was chuckling.

" Okay, that's all the questions! thanks for coming here Octavia, and you too Vinyl, " Vinyl and Octavia looked a little surprised.

" Really? that's was fast, anyway, i'm really sorry about your eye, and thanks for the interview, " Octavia was geting out of the chair and vinyl appeared to walk to the exit, but she stopped Octavia for ask something.

" Wait, where is my only original copy of my new song that you borrowed? " Cheese Sandwich silently watched Vinyl for some seconds before watching to the camera again.

" We'll be right back, " a white hoof punched Cheese Sandwich in the face, he just fall unconscious to the floor, the camera got black.

Cheese TV is brought you by:

Chimicherrychanga Pie! it's superduperhypermega awesome and tasty!

Smell Like Fillynaping (Smell Like Nirvana)

Cheese Sandwich was in a old room. He was tied in a chair and there was a crowd of ponies in front of him. four female ponies with a black cheer leader outfit behind him. And there was 6 ponies with instruments and wearing masks that looked like the mane six faces.

" What is this place? my vision is low, can't figure any memory now, I really wanna go out and walk, but I'm trapped with somepony that stalk (that stalk, that stalk, that stalk, creepy stalk! that stalk, that stalk, that stalk)."

" Now I'm yellin' and i'm screamin', it's the only thing i'm repeatin', need somepony that is good in healin', but nopony is really helpin', where is the boy of the anterior song? please go back here, i'm not very strong! (yeah!) "

" The world is spinning all around, wanna go home and play earthbound, my mouth is tied, y knoiw iw no zaint (?-?-?), Celestia help me or I gonna faint (to faint, to faint, to faint, gonna faint! to faint, to faint, to faint.)

" My capturer sure is a witch, trying to moving, i'm Cheese Sandwich, I really have a bad and persistent itch, calling for help, i'm Cheese Sandwich, why the crowd in front isn't responding? rotting hells, they're ignoring! (yeah!) "

" I flying high, and sitting in clouds, talking with monkeys with black hoods, I see their eyes, they're hypnotizing my mind! oh wait, it's was just a sleep dart, nevermind (don't mind, don't mind, don't mind, just nevermind, don't mind, don't mind, don't mind). "

" Now i'm shakin' and strugglin', and everypony is screamin', and now they're all runnin', now this is something so confusin', Princess Celestia arrived, i'm so saved! I said the next things before they were arrested."

" Sayonara, sayonara, ayonawa, odinawa, odinaya, yodinaya, yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah, ayaaaaaah. "

Cheese Sandwich was now in the floor happily, while Celestia watched him with a confused stare. While the royal guards were arresting the kidnapping ponies, the camera got black.

Cheese TV,

mouse are not welcomed here, hamster maybe.

The camera was recording again the cheese room. Cheese Sandwich now was having a little bandage in his nose. He noticed that the camera was recording again, so he smiled at the camera.

" Welcome back to Cheese TV, guess what time is it's? " a blue mailbox appeared behind him.

" It's Cheese Mailbox time! " He open a letter with a big scissors. " Our first letter is from George Newpony. He ask: " it's true that you beat Princess Cadence with a candy stick while wearing a top hat? " well... it's a very loooong story. And all started with me talking with Queen Chrysalis, but the short answer is yes, I did it, next! "

" Our next letter is from Princess Celestia. She ask: " Did you stole my cake again? " sorry, can't answer that, mostly for my own safety. "

" The next one is from Princess Twilight Sparkle. She ask: " Can you make a birthday party for my best assistant Spike ? " Cheese Sandwich got serious. " No... " he quickly smiled again and put a party hat.

" just kidding, of course I will do it! but let's answer more letters first. The next one is from Carrot Top. She ask: " Where did you get that scissors? " I needed to open things, so I buy it from a zebra that rhymed very cool, like ice in a fresh cheese." He noticed that the camerapony was watching him like if he had three head. "What? have you never eat cheese with ice? you're losing a paradise. "

" Let's continue, the next one is from King Sombra. He ask: " Crysssstals? " crystal to you too, pal! "

" Okay, the next one is from Pinkie Pie. She ask: " Where did you leave the cake mix? " it's probably in your mane, you always leave everything in there. "

" The next one is from Applebloom, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo, they ask: " Can we became famous like you? " only if you eat your vegetables, do ten minutes of exercise and never swear, " the mailbox vanished in a puff of smoke.

" All is done! I think is time for our final song, we'll be right ba-aaah! " Cheese Sandwich fall of his chair with the scissor in his hooves, there was some silent minutes, before Cheese Sandwich started to talk again while being behind the table. " Call... call a doctor, " the camera got black again.

Cheese TV is brought you by:

Crystal Cake! breaking the dragon hunger!... and the ponies teeth too.

Like A Teacher (Like A Surgeon)

Cheese Sandwich was entering the Ponyville Schoolhouse. When he entered the school classroom, he noticed that everypony was asleep, so he try to wake them up knocking the table, but nopony awake. Getting a little annoyed, he put out of nowhere a pile of dusty books and put them violently on the table, awaking everypony. He smiled.

" I finally pass the teacher exam, and now my career began, fillies and colts will love me, nopony will have mistakes in grammar, we advance, perfect stance, baby pace, reaching really far, reading like a pro, yeah! reading like a pro, winning a gold star.

" Hey!, like a teacher, lesson and lesson faster that light, like a teacher, all my sentences are right. "

" My trained class always approve, royal guards are jealous, every answer is resolve, eating something nutritious, drawing, i'm bleeding, be careful, with that sharp scissors, don't eat the crayons, don't eat the crayons, vomit outdoors! "

" Like a teacher, hey!, lesson and lesson faster that light, like a teacher, their intelligence is a fright. "

" Woooh, woooh, woooh."

" Theater play, in the way, i'm a bad sway or that say the parent, I really need the job, yeah, I really need the job, to finish the rent. "

" Like a teacher, hey! lesson and lesson faster that light, like a teacher, i'm wearing pants too tight. Like a teacher, oooh, like a teacher, always gonna be with you, until you get out, or get expelled, or you abandon. "

" Oh oooh, oooh oooh, oooh baby, yeah! I can already see you, getting your diploma. "

Cheese Sandwich was in the floor unconscious, while two dancers dressed like teachers dance behind. The class watch him and the dancers with a unimpressed stare.

" Why Cheerilee always call the crazy ones? " the little applebloom asked with curiosity. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo just shrug, the camera got black.

Cheese TV,

No cheese, no party. you're gonna probably go crazy.

When the camera was recording again, Cheese Sandwich was sitting in his chair. Now he had a bandage around his arm, and was playing with a hamster. then, he watched the camera with a smile.

" Well, I think this is the conclusion of the Cheese TV broadcasting of the day. Gotta ending this before I die or something like that, thanks for everything and see ya around! " Cheese Sandwich waved goodbye at the camera. But he noticed that Daring Do and Ahuizotl were in the Cheese Room. they looked angry.

" What? "