//-------------------------------------------------------// She Was Told To Go F&#% Herself -by Zyrah- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// All You Had To Do Was Ask //-------------------------------------------------------// All You Had To Do Was Ask "Twilight! Twilight you in there?" Rainbow Dash calls through the sound of knocking hooves. The castle door swings open to reveal a nervous and twitchy Twilight. "What can I-I help you with Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asks swaying a little bit. "Are you alright?" Rainbow Dash asks curiously. "Oh yeah, I'm fine," she replies nervously, unconsciously looking over her should from time to time. Rainbow Dash attempts to see what she is looking at, but Twilight moves to body block her view. Rainbow Dash likes what she sees though. "So what beings you by Rainbow?" She asks, rubbing her hoof through her mane. "I need to know if there is a possibility of a spell. Something that could make me feel what somepony else is feeling," Rainbow Dash says with lightheartedness, hoping Twilight doesn't ask- "What do you need something like that for?" And she asked it. "Well, u-uhm...well," Rainbow Dash starts, smoothly trying to think of a story that she will believe. When she finally comes up with something she says, "I was bullying some other...uh poniesand I...I was told to walk a mile in their horseshoes or something like that." Twilight looks at Rainbow for a second in puzzlement. "So you didn't want it for-" "Nope!" Twilight pauses for a moment and says, "Alright," her horn glows its infamous shade of purple and she zaps Rainbow with the empathy spell. "I should warn you about the side effects of high dopamine levels-" "No thanks, Twilight but thank you," Rainbow took to the sky. As she watches that trail of rainbow fade out of sight, she trudges back into her castle. Her big, dark, cozy castle. Twilight turns to look at her brand new Fuck-Machine 5000, delivering 25 fucks per second. "I don't want to be alone on Hearts and Hooves Day." ~~~~~~~~ Rainbow makes her way back to the mirror pool entrance and falls into the hole again, although this time not surprising her. She tumbles down and lands on her stomach and looks up. She gasps in shock as she watches two of herself going at it. She could hear the gooey sounds that pussy lips make when they rub together and both of her doppelgangers kissing passionately. That's when Rainbow begins to feel it. The pleasure of being in close proximity under the effects of the spell is allowing her to feel exactly what they feel. She can feel the warm and soft forest floor emitting from the bottom one, the warmth from kissing on her lips, and the pleasure in her nether from both of them grinding each other. She couldn't handle it. She immediately fell over and begin moaning loudly, alerting the other two of her presence. They stop for a second and Rainbow Dash immediately notices and she says, "What are you two doing, don't stop!" They don't take their time starting again and Rainbow Dash returns moaning loudly, the combined pleasure from both of them already about to push her over the edge. "Hmmm fuck," Rainbow Dash says through gritted teeth. Her moaning only gets louder and when she goes of the edge, the other two find out first. Rainbow Dash bucks her hips forward in an random spasm, shouting as her orgasm pierces through her entire body, rattling her core. Her juices spray like a water sprinkler and she showers her doppelgangers in mare cum. The very thought of having her juices on them causes both of them to go over the edge as well sending them to orgy town. They both practically mimic Rainbow's loud moans as they soak each other in their fluids. Rainbow Dash is still feeling what they are feeling so she rides out another two orgasms, her juices flowing from her like a waterfall. Her triple orgasm subsides, and all she can do is stare glassy eyed at the other two mares. A queasy feeling begins in her stomach, the kind you get when you are about to throw up. A single tear falls from Rainbow Dash's eye. "That w-was beautiful," Rainbow says with a slur. She pants heavily, still feeling bits and pieces of lingering orgasm making her sick to her stomach when she thinks about it. "We should definitely go again," the doppelganger on the left says. "That would be awesome!" the one on the right agrees. "Can we take a break or something first?" Rainbow Dash pants, leaning back. Her stomach practically heaves with every breath she takes. "I thought we were you, and that you never quit," the one on the left says, Rainbow assumes this is the first one. "Yeah but-," Rainbow Dash tenses up when she notices that the mare begins sliding her hoof down her stomach, Rainbow also being able to feel it. "No! No, please don't-" The mare touches her clit and begins rubbing it around real slow, Rainbow feeling every. Single. Touch. "Gah!" Rainbow Dash squeals, "Stop, stop it!" Rainbow can't do shitting fuck about it however. The mare continues to slide her hoof side to side every once in a while bringing it around town. The other mare positions her pussy right over the other doppelganger's mouth in a 69 position and moves the bottom one's hoof aside. Then they both dig into each other at the same time and they start moaning on each others' love button, vibrating it and they begin suckling on it. Rainbow just closes her legs together and lays on her side quivering and shaking. "This was su-such a b-bad idea." Rainbow begins pulling herself away, dragging across the forest floor, a trail of mare cum steadily oozing from her and still being produced. Rainbow Dash looks like a snail with a gay rights flag on her back. "Help!" She pants as she feels another orgasm rising in her. Only thing that's different between this one and the other one is that she doesn't want it anymore. She is about to get to the entrance when her orgasm stops her in her tracks, splaying her juices all over the wet ground behind her. Rainbow Dash can't move now, she is completely immobilized as her will to keep going is blasted out of her vagina. It doesn't stop there however, it keeps going as the mare's that are still on the floor about twenty feet behind her are still going at it, flashing wicked grins at her. "Somepony make it stop!" Rainbow Dash cries into the night. She thinks to herself, What if I die because I had too many orgasms? A second ago that would have been cool but, Celestia it sucks so bad. A ruffling in the bushes reveals Twilight floating down the tunnel full speed with her horn alight. Two spells blast out simultaneously, both hitting the doppelgangers. They both turn to dust and float back into the mirror pool. Rainbow Dash is about to thank her when a potion bottle floats to her lips and she can feel magic forcing her jaw open and making her down the thick, dark purple liquid. Twilight looks at Rainbow and says, "Hello?" "Can you hear me?" Rainbow Dash is looking at her but the world is beginning to swirl and Twilight seems like she's a mile away even though she knows she right next to her. Whatever that potion was, it feels a lot like that cookie that Zecora gave her a long time ago. Her eye sight begins to dim around the edges until it completely black out and she goes unconscious. ~~~~~~~~ "Hello?" Rainbow Dash's eyes flutter open and her head rolls to the side to find the voice. The aching feeling down below becoming prominent and making her gasp and push into the soft couch that she laying on. A blanket is drooped over her, keeping her warm. "How are you? Rainbow looks around once more and finds Twilight sitting on a pillow next to the couch. Rainbow groans. "Better, I guess." Twilight only looks at her for a second before saying, "You should have listened-" "Yeah, yeah I know. Read the warning label and whatnot." "No...well yeah, but that's not what I was going to say." Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a confused look. If that's not what she was going to say then what was it? "Rainbow, if you had just come to me in the first place, I would have helped you with your little problem..." "What?! You mean you could have cured my heat?" "Well, not exactly. But I...never mind," Twilight says turning away, her cheeks blushing hard. "Oh come on, tell me!" "I've been wanting to say this for a long time," Twilight says. You can do this Twilight, just do like your rehearsed in the mirror all those nights. "Rainbow," she sighs and continues. "I love you. I love your smile, your mane, your body, your personality...I love you." Rainbow Dash's heart skips a beat. She always wanted to fuck one of her friends and she wasn't really picky. But Twilight MotherFucking Sparkle just said that she loved her. Not in the 'Ugh, I love you too mom' kind of way or the random 'I love you' that most colts and fillies say to each other that has little to no meaning. No. That was the 'I want to fucking cum inside you and even though I don't have a dick I'll find a way' kind of I love you. And Rainbow feels the same exact way. "Celestia...so I could have avoided all of that if I had just-" "Yep." Rainbow Dash thinks over the events of the previous night, then about her throbbing pussy that is still extremely sore from said events. Then she looks at Twilight, her beautiful eyes and mane, her perfect body shape, and hmmm....dat ass. "So, are we..." Twilight cuts her off with a kiss. A long, passionate, and on Rainbow's end, sloppy kiss. They finally break apart and Rainbow only looks at her in surprise. Twilight looks at her long time coming marefriend and smiles. "Unfortunately, we will not be able to have any kind of...fun until you can walk again, and maybe not even then," Twilight informs Rainbow. Giving a severely confused look, Rainbow asks, "What do you mean 'until I can walk again?'" "I mean that if you got up and walked right now, you'd be in a lot of pain every single time your hind legs passed each other," Rainbow gives a look of disappointment but due to the pain she is feeling without even walking tells her that what Twilight said is true. "And since we are on the subject, let's go ahead and take a look shall we?" Twilight lifts the blanket up with her muzzle and folds the back part over on top of Rainbow's tummy and gently moves Rainbow Dash's legs apart to get a better look. Her lips are very red and still puffy and swollen. Twilight levitates some cream from a nearby table and unscrews the cap. She gently squeezes some of the cream from the bottle and rubs it all along Rainbow Dash's pussy, careful not to let any slip between the crack. Rainbow flinches at the sudden cold but welcomes the soothing presence of the cream on her marehood. "That should be good for now," Twilight says while gently moving the blanket back over Rainbow Dash's legs and privates. Rainbow just looks at her, that's all she can do. The mare of a suppressed dream is now dating her and just rubbed some very nice cream all over her lips and not the ones on her face. "I love you, Twilight Sparkle," Rainbow says in awe and complete randomness. "I love you too, Rainbow Dash." Author's Note For all of you who wanted a continuation, here you go This is the part that is really for Valentine's Day so, enjoy. BTW when I was walking back to my room after taking a tremendous shit, I thought I also caught a small and short whiff of a sequel...perhaps it is a sign... //-------------------------------------------------------// And F&#% Herself She Did //-------------------------------------------------------// Author's Note I'm sorry. And F&#% Herself She Did "But Rarity! I've been trying to smash that elegant cunt of yours elaborately for months!" Rarity not at all surprised by Rainbow Dash's hormone induced behavior just sighs. "I know darling but I've told you several times before that my barn door just simply doesn't swing that way. You must understand." Rainbow Dash pouts. "I've seen your backside when I talk to you like this, stop lying to me!" Rarity is taken aback at what she is hearing. Rainbow Dash is met with a hoof against her chest sliding her backwards to the door. "Rainbow Dash, whatever you are talking about is not true and you need to get a grip. You may come speak with me when natural drugs are not clouding your mindset." Rarity pulls on the door handle with her magic and continues sliding Dash out the door. "Please, Rarity, please! Just once! I won't tell nopony!" Rarity stops when Rainbow Dash is clear of the doorway. "I will see you at our next friendship meeting thing," Rarity pauses to await Rainbow Dash's departing response. "Okay, okay," Rainbow says with a defeated tone. "But you know what would really be cool though?" "What?" "At the next friendship meeting thing, you let Twilight, Pinkie, AJ, Fluttershy and I rut you in front of Spike. The little guy would go nuts to see something like that-" Rainbow Dash's muzzle makes contact with door. "You may come talk to me when your little rutrage is over!" "Can I at least take a picture for something to clop to later-" "Go fuck yourself, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity distraught scream can be heard clearly through the door. Rainbow Dash sulks off and away from the Carousel Boutique, pondering what she could do to stimulate her desire to be rutted by another pony. She could just go up on a cloud and clop herself to sleep but that really wouldn't help anything. "Being in heat sucks," Rainbow Dash voices her opinion to the night. She continues walking across Ponyville, looking at all of the closed businesses in her wake. She walks past Sugar Cube Corner, which still had a few lights on which causes her to stop. Wonder if Pinkie Pie is still awake. Rainbow Dash walks up the steps to the entrance and knocks on the door. Pinkie Pie swings the door open with a smile and says, "Hey there, Rainbow Dash! What are you doing here so late?" "Oh nothing, I couldn't sleep and I saw the lights were still on here so I decided to drop by to see if you were still awake." "Yeah, I just got back from Twilight's. She's having a bit of a bear problem so I came back here and decided to try out cake modeling!" "A bear problem?" Rainbow Dash questions. She lives in the middle of Ponyville, how could she have a bear problem? "It's nothing to really worry about," Pinkie Pie says with a nervous smile that Rainbow Dash isn't really in the mood to question. "So...cake modeling, huh?" Rainbow Dash asks as Pinkie moves out of the doorway to let her in, trying to get anything to get her mind off of her unsatisfied body. Upon laying eyes on the room, Rainbow Dash says, "Whoa." Mirrors at all angles are mounted on the floor, walls, and ceiling with a cake sitting on a stool is reflected off every mirror. A camera on a tripod is facing the cake directly. "Yeah, it really isn't going so well," Pinkie says sadly as they both walk over to the modeling set up. "I can't seem to get the right angles no matter what I do," Pinkie continues, walking over to where she is facing the camera. Rainbow Dash doesn't pay her actions any attention until she notices something. Reflections bouncing off of every mirror is Pinkie Pie's untouched marehood, seemingly staring at Rainbow Dash from every direction. Rainbow Dash's mouth comes open slightly, drool beginning to seep out of the corner of her mouth. Her eyes bouncing back and forth to every mirror, capturing every angle of the celibacy that is her friend's crotch, Rainbow Dash hatches an idea. "Hey Pinkie, you remember the mirror pool?" "Well, duh! That was the best and the worst time of my life I think," Pinkie replies uncertainly. "What was that chant that you have to use to clone yourself? I've been trying to get caught up on the local lore." "Oh that one's easy. 'Into her own reflection she stared, yearning for one whose reflection she shared, and solemnly swears not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mared!" "Uhm...what?" "I'll write it down for you," Pinkie says as she jumps up and turn upside down, bounces of the floor with her mane causing a pencil and a notepad to fall out and then bouncing back to her hooves. Rainbow Dash gives a little smile and rolls her eyes at the performance. Pinkie Pie finishes writing down the chant and hands the piece of paper over to Rainbow. "Well, you seem to be mighty busy, Pinkie Pie, so I'm going to be on my way." "I'm not busy!" Pinkie exclaims to Rainbow Dash but she's already out the door. Rainbow takes to the sky heading full speed to the Everfree Forest. She flies over the tree, eyes searching hungrily under the bright moonlight. Where the brambles are thickest, huh? Rainbow thinks to herself. She sees a thick patch of briers and flies down towards it to check it out. She crawls through the briers, constantly searching for any sign of the supposedly mythical pool. She pushes back a few more briers and then the ground is swiped out from under her and she falls down a tunnel and rolls through the entire thing and lands stomach first at the bottom. Picking herself up and rubbing her head, her eyes go wide and her jaw drops. "The mirror pool!" Rainbow Dash rushes over to the edge of the little pool and stares at her reflection. Only a few moments pass when her needs make themselves known once again and Rainbow Dash begins the chant. "Into her own reflection she stared yearning for one whose reflection she shared," Rainbow Dash puts a hoof in the water and continues walking downward. "And solemnly swears not to be scared," Rainbow Dash is completely submerged but with another step her head surfaces above water, "at the prospect of being doubly mared." Rainbow Dash climbs completely out of the pool and meets face to face with herself. Her doppelganger is giving her a seductive smile. Rainbow Dash doesn't know what to think about seeing herself without actually being in front of the mirror. "It worked!" Rainbow Dash stares at Rainbow Dash, getting a quick rundown on herself. "Celestia, you are beautiful," Rainbow Dash thinks to herself for a moment, beginning to pace around her doppelganger. "I am beautiful." Rainbow Dash is now standing behind her replica when she turns her head to the side and with Rainbow Dash's own voice says, "You just going to talk or are we going to get down to it?" Her doppelganger gives a flick of her tail and caresses Rainbow's cheek with it. Rainbow Dash bites her tail and pulls her doppelganger backwards, her giving a little yelp. Then Rainbow Dash feasts on her doppelganger's pussy like Thanksgiving. Rainbow Dash starts at her hole, feeling more than a little bit overwhelmed at staring at her own pussy without craning her neck around in a mirror to see it. Rainbow Dash sloshes her tongue around the other pony's hole and continues down, lapping all the way to the fleshy pleasure button. And like all buttons, Rainbow Dash presses it. The doppelganger lets out a squeal of delight, Rainbow Dash keeping a constant rhythm of licking on her clitoris. The doppelganger is now fully aroused, the evidence now seeping out of her in a clear liquid form. Rainbow Dash notices this and her taste buds explode as she continues lapping up the tasty beverage. Rainbow Dash is really feeling the burn now, but not the kind you have after a good workout session. The cyan jock starts sucking on her double's clitoris, licking it quickly while it's in between her lips. This brings the doppelganger right on the fine line that is the edge, her knees shaking like tremors of an earthquake. Rainbow Dash brings her own hoof down to start stimulating the rising pressure in her own marehood. Rainbow's constant winking being more than enough lubrication to make the motions as smooth as ass cheeks. Rainbow Dash sticks her tongue as far down the doppelgangers pussy as she could muster, extracting a loud lustful moan. Rainbow twists her tongue in a circular motion while inside, licking the entire circumference of her walls. Pulling her tongue back at she continues sucking on the swollen clit performing the same motion as before. The doppelganger's hind legs grow suddenly tense, thrusting herself back into Rainbow's muzzle whilst letting out an ecstatic moan. Once the doppelganger hit her peak, Rainbow Dash laps up the rewards with many greedy licks, the clear liquid being blasted across her entire face. The doppelganger falls over, as if losing consciousness. Rainbow Dash stands in front of her and between licking every drop from her face that she could says, "Oh you think this is over now, huh? Oh no...it is has just begun." Rainbow Dash positions her plot directly over the mare's face and sits. The mare regaining her focus begins making a circular motions with her tongue around Rainbow Dash's tight, pink pussy. "You keep teasing me like that and I'll drown you cum." "Don't threaten me with a good time," the doppelganger replies in the same tomboyish tone that Rainbow Dash is known for. The mare then skips all of the bullshit and begins sucking on Rainbow Dash's clit like a lollipop. "Oh Celestia, yes!" Rainbow Dash shouts to the forest around her, her legs quivering at the sensation. The mare then does the same thing that Rainbow Dash did to her and sticks her tongue in Rainbow Dash's love canal as far as it could go. Rainbow Dash yelps at the sudden but pleasurable intrusion. Rainbow pushes her haunches down on the mare's face, her entire muzzle inserting into Rainbow's vagina sending a mix of pain and pleasure to Rainbow Dash. Then Rainbow begins grinding the mare's muzzle and shouts, "Harder!" Rainbow can feel her pending climax rising quickly, a lot quicker than she'd like. She doesn't want to stop either, so she doesn't say anything. The sensation continues to grow and her walls begin to close around the doppelganger's muzzle. Right as Rainbow Dash is about to go over the edge, the doppelganger pulls her muzzle out of Rainbow's pussy kneels down and desperately gasps for air. Noticing the emptiness and her climax sitting on that fine line mentioned earlier, Rainbow Dash says, "Why'd you quit! If you're me, you don't quit!" The doppelganger replies between gulps of oxygen, "I...couldn't...breathe." Rainbow realizing she had been staring at the doppelgangers pussy, she quickly looks at her face. Seeing the brighter shade of purple Rainbow Dash says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to smother you but you have to admit, that would be a hell of a way to go." Rainbow Dash chuckles and finishes with, "Besides, I told you I would drown you in cum." Her doppelganger releases a mix of coughing and laughing and replies with a seductive smile, "I'm still going to hold you to that." Rainbow Dash's heated desires are scorching her marehood like a ball of energy being thrown at Twilight's house. Rainbow Dash falls on her haunches and starts pouting. "What's wrong?" Her doppelganger asks her. "Y-you didn't finish!" Rainbow Dash shouts. "That something we can fix," Her doppelganger says, tackling Rainbow Dash once more into the soft ground. Rainbow Dash notices immediately and tackles her back bringing them both in the air and back down but this time, the doppelganger lets out a shocked gasp and Rainbow Dash is on top. Rainbow Dash then proceeds to sit on the mare's muzzle and grinds out her feelings. Soft, lustful moans fill the dark forest air, Rainbow Dash filling with ecstasy as her marehood is engulfed by the doppelganger's wet tongue. The doppelganger squeezes Dash for every drop. Rainbow Dash is nearing the peak, her clit taking on the elaborate suckling that it was given earlier and Rainbow Dash moans louder. The doppelganger begins pleasuring herself with her hoof, rubbing the soft folds of her own cyan flower. Rainbow Dash let's out another moan and bucks her hips downward so as to drown the doppelganger in her bodily fluids. Her orgasm comes in bursts and she rubs her clit as the doppelganger laps up the rest of her delicate marehood. The splatter of the liquids could be heard as it smacks the doppelganger's face. Rainbow Dash is riding out the afterglow of her blistering and pleasurable orgasm. Rainbow Dash finally stops rubbing her clit. Everything feels as if it were slowed down to slow motion. Rainbow Dash looks at her doppelganger, her dumbfound look not fading. "Holy shit that was amazing," is all Rainbow Dash could say as she fell over and begins snoring softly. The doppelganger smiles at first at the hot little picture that is Rainbow Dash covered in fluids, her swollen pussy still having not recovered. Her smile quickly faded when she realizes that she is now aching from rubbing herself while Rainbow Dash was in her state of ecstasy. "Leave me out will you?" She says to the sleeping form of Rainbow Dash. She then drops to her haunches and then to her back. Angling her delicate lips towards Rainbow Dash's face, she puts her hoof up to her clit and begins rubbing it in a side to side and circular motion. She rubs faster and faster and harder and harder, her orgasm quickly coming at her like a train. She is getting very close and as she hit the point of no return, she bucks her hips forward and splurges her mare juices all over a sleeping Rainbow Dash's face. Rainbow Dash begins to stir, her eyes coming open slightly. Her tongue is hanging out of her muzzle from the panting earlier and when she pulls the muscle back inside her mouth, she tastes the fresh mare cum which brings her back to her senses. "Did you just...cum on me while I was sleeping?" Rainbow Dash asks in shock. "Does that turn you on?" The doppelganger retorts seductively. "Kinda..." Rainbow Dash says, a hint if shame in her voice. Rainbow Dash's marehood begins aching again but she doesn't really want to put the effort into something again for just a momentary fix. The doppelganger sits in silence as Rainbow Dash tells her, "I just don't want to put so much effort into something that won't fix my problem." "Oh it's fixing my problems," the doppelganger says lucidly. "No need to rub it in my face," Rainbow Dash says when she remembers that she literally did rub it in her face. Rainbow Dash's eyes go wide as an idea formulates in her head. Rainbow Dash says, "Stay here, I'll be back in a moment." The doppelganger replies, "Don't keep me waiting." //-------------------------------------------------------// Bonus Chapter //-------------------------------------------------------// Bonus Chapter "You wanna see it?" Twilight asks Rainbow Dash. "See what- oh, no I'm good," Rainbow Dash replies, realizing what her new marefriend was asking. "Oh, come on. You know you want to," Twilight says trying to convince her to look. "No, I really don't want to." Twilight huffs and levitates a mirror out from a nearby drawer. "Rainbow, you act like you don't ever want to see a pussy again." "Right now that doesn't sound so bad," Rainbow replies with a chuckle and wiggles her leg a little bit. Rainbow leans back and stares at the crystallized purple ceiling from Twilight's bed. "I mean there's a lot I will do to yours but definitely not within the next week." "Hey, Rainbow, look over here," Twilight says nonchalantly. Rainbow lifts her head up from the soft cotton pillow and down where Twilight is at the end of the bed. A mirror is angled exactly where Rainbow could get a perfect view of her own clopper. Rainbow gags and looks away hurriedly and Twilight bursts out laughing. "Aw, Twilight what the hell?!" Twilight continues laughing and falls over on the floor. "Is-is that mine?! Holy shit!" "Rainbow," Twilight says in between hard laughing and flowing tears. "Your pussy looks like a blue clam (http://www.captivereefs.com/forum/attachments/invert-index/blue-squamosa-clam-blue-squamosa-jpg-5435d1344423667)!" "Haha, real funny," Rainbow replies sarcastically and crossing her hooves. "If I could walk I would slip melatonin and laxatives into your drink." "Oh come on, take a joke," Twilight says slipping a big comforter over her and crawling up the bed and right beside Rainbow Dash. She throws the blanket over Rainbow Dash too and it's more than big enough for the both of them. "I love you..." Rainbow Dash sighs and says, "I love you, too." Twilight uses her magic to turn the bedside lamp off. Rainbow Dash tries to keep her mind off of her still throbbing pussy and erase the image that the mirror gave her from her mind. After about five minutes Rainbow Dash is about to fall into a deep sleep when she feels Twilight moving around and then her warm breath against her ear. When a particularly large amount of air makes Rainbow's ear twitch, she hears Twilight fail to suppress a snicker. "What's so funny?" Rainbow asks groggily without opening her eyes. Another snicker follows and Twilight whispers, "Blue clam." Rainbow Dash's eyes go wide. "Fuck you, Twilight!"