The Destroyer and Her Doctor

by Justice3442

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Sex, Science Fiction, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Human, Doctor Whooves, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 39079

Debra Hart leads a rather plain life, discounting the disasters caused by her clumsiness on a daily basis. Luckily she meets a man who adds a bit of excitement to her life, though often in the form of other-worldly beings that want to kill them both.

Debra Hart leads a rather plain life, discounting the disasters caused by her clumsiness on a daily basis. Luckily she meets a man who adds a bit of excitement to her life, though often in the form of other-worldly beings that want to kill them both.

Edited by Tired Old Man.

Published 2016-01-10 04:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-20 04:39:50 UTC

Prologue

The Destroyer and Her Doctor

Prologue

A pegasus mare with a gray coat, blond tousled mane, and daisy-colored eyes that refused to point the same direction stared up at a long, tapered aperture pointing down at her. She squinted and craned her head upward, attempting to force her eyes to focus on the black barrel of whatever was above. Her left eye locked onto it as her right eye decided the ropes that were keeping her four legs and wings held tight to the diagonally sitting bed she’s strapped to were more interesting.

Welp… It must be Tuesday…

She scrunched her muzzle and closed her eyelids hard. Opening them, this time her right eye focused up towards the long, cylindrical item and her left eye lazily drifted to take in the consoles of flashing lights that surround her.

Sighing, she decided the aperture was pointed at her forehead. Yes… she was sure of that.

“Comfortable, my dear?” a masculine voice asked.

The mare tried to tilt her head towards the sound of the voice, but something applying force to her temples is kept it firmly in place. With some degree of frustration, she resigned herself to the fate of one eye looking upwards at what was likely going to shoot her in the head and the other looking back down at her bounds.

“You knoooow…” she cooed as her eyelids drop halfway down her eyes. “You don’t have to make some sort of important scientific discovery if you want to tie me up.”

“Er… Why… ummm… That is…”

The mare giggled. “You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” She frowned. “Wish I could see it.”

The head of a brown stallion with a dark-brown mane spiked back and upwards and sky-blue eyes suddenly entered the mare’s field of vision. He looked down at her with a half-smile sitting below eyes that betrayed just a hint of annoyance. “Better?”

“Hehe… Much… Now what’s this thing pointed at my forehead?”

The stallion points up to the aperture pointed at the mare’s forehead with a forehoof, he regarded the mare below him with a sort of wild enthusiasm. “You see, Dearest Heart,” the stallion produced a flat, round black item with six points attached to a circular line at the end and an empty space composed of a small circle with six prongs sticking out of it, “once I attach this thought wave receiver, or T.W.R. to your forehead, zap! The dimensional quantum particle tracer, or D.Q.P.T. up there will sync with your distinct mental wavelength.” The stallion held his forehooves a few inches from each other, and shook them slightly before holding them still. He pressed his hooves together, taking care not to damage the T.W.R. in his right hoof. “Once that connection is made, we can follow the wave pattern all the way to wherever or possible whoever it leads us to.” He energetically pointed off into the room. “Zoom! It’ll feed the data in real time to the wavelength particle computation machine, or W.P.C.M and pow! The data will be translated into visual and audio signals, allowing us to view the temporal anomaly you seem to be connected with! It’s brilliant really! Whoever came up with all this really deserves a pat on the back. Oh wait, that was me.”

Dearest Heart chuckled grinned. “You said, ‘dimensional’.”

The stallion frowned. “No I didn’t.”

“Oh, yes you did.”

“Lies. Nothing but slander and lies, my dear. I knew your vision wasn’t to be trusted, tut-tut, but your hearing as well… This isn’t good dear. Not good attall!”

Dearest Heart nodded to the device above her. “What was the name of the thing pointed at my head again, Doctor?”

The Doctor mashed a frown and a scowl into a maelstrom of grump mashed a frown and a scowl into a maelstrom of grumpiness on his face. “That was the ‘D.Q.P.T.’” he said, stressing every letter.

Dearest Heart shook her as much as she could within her restraints. “You and your acronyms. Well, what does ‘D.Q.O.T.’ stand for?”

The Doctor grumbled something under his breath.

Dearest Heart giggled. “Didn’t quite catch that. Maybe you can start with just the first letter.”

More grumbling.

“Come on… Come on… Hehehe… I want the ‘D’, and you’re just the stallion to give it to me…”

A smile cracked through the frown on the Doctor's face, but he still mumbled out a reply. “Mmmmmensional…”

“I don’t I think you gave me the ‘D’ properly that time, dear Doctor.”

The Doctor sighed. “Dimensional! The ‘D’ stands for dimensional! There I said it! Is your desire to see me squirm properly sated, dearest? Can we drop it now?!”

A massive smile spread from one side of Dearest Heart’s muzzle to the other. “There, was that so hard?”

With a sigh, a scoff, and even a bit of a grumble, the Doctor backed up a few steps.

“Doctor?” Dearest Heart called out. “I can’t see you anymore.”

“I’m quite aware,” the Doctor replied.

“Hehe… Come on! I just can’t get enough of your handsome face.”

“Well, speaking of faces, I can only assume you’re making that bloody ‘I told you so face.’”

“You won’t know unless you came back over here~…” Dearest Heart answered in a sing-song tone.

“… Well that’s a ‘yes’ if ever there was one.”

“You’ll have to come back here at some point! The thought wave receiver isn’t going to attach itself to my head~.” Dearest Heart strained at her ropes slightly. “And it’s not like I can attach it to my own head.”

“Maybe I ought to just leave you bloody well tied up, then.”

Dearest Heart tightened her face for a moment before her grin returned. “Good luck dealing with all the kids on your own when Amethyst Star suffers her daily break down.”

There was a pause, another sigh, some shuffling of hooves, and with grumpy expression at the ready, the Doctor leaned forward into Dearest Heart’s field of vision. Dearest Heart met this expression with a wide grin and knowing eyes that couldn’t quite focus on the Doctor.

“I told you so.”

The Doctor puffed out his lower lip as his brow slumped forward. He leveled a forehoof at Dearest Heart. “Alright, but other dimensions are supposed to be impossible.”

“Hehe… Pretty sure the equation you transcribed from me on a chalkboard sitting in the corner of this very room says otherwise…”

Seemingly taking offense with something else in the room, the Doctor glared off into the distance and mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

“Oh, don’t be so grumpy! At least now we can figure out how I’m supposedly going to be the catalyst that potentially sends two dimensions crashing into each other, destroying them both.” Dearest Heart frowned. “I’ve destroyed plenty, but I really don’t want ‘All of creation, times two’ to be something ponies remember me for.”

The Doctor looked down with a more serious look. “Well, if the dimensions are destroyed, you won’t have to worry about that given you’d be in one of them as well as all the ponies we know. Besides, it takes two to tango, and there’s a better than fair chance it’s your counterpart that’s to blame and she’s the catalyst. You, and by extension everypony who happens to share a dimension with you, just gets to suffer the consequences as her latching onto your energy pattern lets her gather the energy for whatever crazy thing she’s doing!”

“Hrmmm… any ideas on that part yet?”

“Well, I’ve ruled out baking muffins. You usually don’t need to cause so much destruction making a simple batch of baked goods.” The Doctor smiled and shrugged slightly. “Of course, there is the occasional exception.”

“Hey, that was one time and it was an accident!” Dearest Heart protested. “Besides don’t you think it’s a little early to pin the blame? It’s still possible I try reaching out to her for some reason… I mean, we don’t even know what this other me looks like.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s another pony…” He grinned. “Maybe she got the luck of the draw and is a ginger, though.”

A smirk found its way back onto Dearest Heart’s face. “Now Doctor, you know the equation predicts some degree of parallel activity, but we can’t be sure of physical appearances. The me over there could be microscopic or huge even!”

“I don’t think any dimension is ready for more of you than you already are.”

“Hey!” Dearest Heart protested.

“Anyhow, I’m sure it’ll be a slight and silly change… This parallel dimension is probably just full of zeppelins or everypony wearing cowboy hats, or some such.”

Dearest Heart rolled her eyes. “Right, because I’m just one cowboy hat away from destroying two universes.”

“You never know,” the Doctor said, “You could fit a lot of antimatter in a ten-gallon cowboy hat! Imagine all the muffins you could bake with that.”

Dearest Heart rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah… Rub it in whydon’tcha!”

The Doctor chuckled and leaned forward and began brushing Dearest Heart’s mane away from her forehead. “Anyhow, we best get started…”

Dearest Heart leaned her head up, catching the Doctor's lips with her own. Though surprised at first, the Doctor leaned into the kiss and tilted his muzzle slightly, allowing his lips to lock with Dearest Heart’s.

Dearest Heart hummed in pleasure. “Hmmmmmmmmmmmua!” She broke the kiss. “What’s your hurry? You can do anything with me tied up like this, and we know the anomaly won’t start affecting our world for some time…”

The Doctor grinned wryly at Dearest Heart. “Egad, woman. Just how large of a brood do you plan to have with me?”

“Oh, come off it,” Dearest Heart said with a smile as she rolled her eyes. “You know it’s not that time of the year.”

Also smiling, the Doctor shook his head. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but somehow I still can’t believe after all this time you’ll turn a lazy eye—”

“Hey!”

“—towards complete world destruction just because you can’t get enough of me.” The Doctor stroked his chin thoughtfully and stared up at the ceiling. “Though, I suppose I am quite fetching.”

“Pullleeeeaaaase! What’s the point of saving worlds all the time if you don’t get to enjoy yourself from time to time?”

The Doctor chuckled and leaned forward, his lips brushing against Dearest Hearts as he spoke, “That’s exactly what you said right before you became pregnant with Dinky…”

‘THUD!’

The Doctor and Dearest Heart jumped slightly at the sound of a door being thrown open.

“Mama! Daaaaaaad!” a young female voice called out. “I’m boooooooored!”

Dearest Heart sighed heavily. “You just had to say her name!”

“Well I didn’t bloody know she was clairvoyant!”

“Hey! What’s that thing mama is strapped to?”

Dearest Heart tilted one of her eyes downward. She was just able to catch a glimpse of the unicorn filly with a light purple-coat and the same blonde-colored mane and daisy-colored eyes as herself.

The Doctor sighed and placed all four hooves back on the ground, trotting towards Dinky. “Dinky? Your mother and I are engaged in a scientific endeavor that concerns not only our—sigh— dimension, but a second. Also, you should still be at the Little Inventors Club!”

“Yeah… They had to send everypony home after the roof caved in.”

“Dinky?” The Doctor said in a stern voice. “What did you do?”

“Me?!” Dinky protested. “How come you always assume it’s my fault when something happens at the Little Inventors Club?”

The Doctor seemed to consider this for a moment. “Hmmm… Well, I suppose that’s a fair poi—”

“Dinkums!” Dearest Heart interrupted in a stern tone. “What did you do?”

There was a brief pause, followed by an answer. “All I did was create a simple carbon dioxide reaction by combining NaHCO₃ and HCH₃COO together!”

“Good heavens!” The Doctor exclaimed. “They let you have baking soda and vinegar?! They’re lucky you didn’t take out the entire building, let alone Ponyville.”

Dearest Heart let out a long and drawn out sigh, almost as if her soul was trying to escape through her mouth. “We’ll talk about this later. For now why don’t you go play with Amethyst Star and your sisters?”

“Amethyst Star was busy stopping Dizzy and Chirpy from painting!”

“Dear?” The Doctor called out. “You can’t see it but I’m tossing you a confused look.”

“Noted,” Dearest Heart replied.

“Well, painting sounds equal parts unusually nice and unusually safe,” the Doctor said. “Why would Amethyst Star need to stop that?”

Dearest Heart frowned. There was something missing from this family equation. “Dinkums? Was Dipsy painting too?”

“No, she was being painted,” Dinky replied.

“What?!” The Doctor cried.

“…Aaaaand there it is,” Dearest Heart said.

“Yeah, she’s sorta pink and green now—Hey! What’s this?!”

“Dinky!” the Doctor exclaimed. “Don’t touch that it—”

‘Thwang!’

Dearest Heart watched as two bananas sailed across her field of vision.

‘Splat!’

The Doctor sighed. “That’s my banana launcher.”

“… Banana launcher? Really?” Dearest Heart asked in an unamused tone.

“Well what if we’re busy working across the room and don’t feel like getting up to have a snack?! LOOK! They don’t bloody well all have to be scientific marvels!”

“What’s this one do?!”

“Dinky! Get away from that! That—”

‘CRASH!’

Dearest Heart sighed. “So much for love…”

“Ooooooh! What does this button do?!”

‘BOOM!’

“DINKY! Stops this right now! Father is quite cross with—”

‘Click!’

‘Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…!’

Dearest Heart’s eyes shot open wide as the device pointed at her head began to hum as a light appeared in the barrel.

“Uhhhh…. Doctor?!” Dearest Heart called out in alarm.

“Dearest? Can it wait? Dinky is sort of making a right mess of things.”

‘Crash!’

The Doctor sighed heavily.

“Speaking of messes, what will the D.Q.P.T.do to me if the T.W.R isn’t attached?”

“Huh? Weeelllll, hypothetically an uncontrolled attempt at reading thought waves would vibrate the insides of your head until your brain oozed out your ears.”

Dearest Heart swallowed. “I thought you might say that.”

“Why do you… Oh… Oh no…” Dearest Heart watched as the Doctor rushed over to what few consoles that were in her vision and began frantically pressing buttons. “No, no-no-no, no-no!”

The commotion in the room suddenly stopped. “Ma-mama? Dad? What’s wrong?”

“Not now, Dinky!” The Doctor snapped.

‘MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…!’

“Can you stop it?!” Dearest Heart cried.

“What do you think I’m trying to do?! But activating the lever starts a quantum chain reaction that can’t be interrupted!”

Dearest Heart felt one of the ropes on her legs loosen. “We need to get mama out of there!” Dinky cried.

“Dinky, no!” The Doctor cried. “If the beam from the D.Q.P.T.doesn’t intersect with thought waves, it could create an earthquake that swallows all of Ponyville and everypony in it!”

“That’s better than mama having her brain melted!” Dinky shot back.

The Doctor paused for a brief moment. “… Remind me to teach you a sense of scale one of these days, young lady.”

‘MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…!’

Dearest Heart grit her teeth. “Would you just put the thought wave receiver on my forehead already?!”

“Oh…” The Doctor uttered as he galloped over to Dearest Heart and swept her mane away from her forehead. “Good idea.”

As the machine entered a fever pitch of humming, the Doctor affixed the circular device to Dearest Heart’s forehead. “Dinky!” he cried.

“Got it!” Dinky answered as a blue-tipped, silver cylindrical object held in a yellow aura floated over to the doctor. The Doctor took the item in his hooves, extending the blue tip with a flick of a switch. He took the item into his mouth and pointed the blue tip at the device on Dearest Heart’s head. With a ‘buzzzzzzz’ the blue end lit up and she could feel the device on her head vibrate to life as it began to emit a soft red glow.

‘PHhhhhSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS!’

A blinding beam, energy suddenly shot out from the barrel above Dearest Heart and shot straight into the center of the circular item on her forehead. Suddenly the machine above quieted down to a gentle hum as the beam lowered in intensity to a soft pulsating glow in between the aperture above Dearest Heart and her forehead.

Dearest Heart’s eyes almost both focused on the beam shooting into her head. “Did… did it work?”

The Doctor let out a very audible sigh of relief as he collapsed on top of Dearest Heart. He moved his ear over her raising and falling chest as if he was trying to listen for something. “Well, you just spoke a coherent sentence instead of the insane gibberish of a pony whose brain is in the process of melting, so I’d say that was a success. How do you feel?”

“… Dizzy, light-headed… My vision is slightly blurred.”

“So… ‘normal’, is it, luv?”

Dearest Heart sighed. “Yeaaaaah…”

“Yay!” Dinky said cheerfully. “We saved mama!”

“GO TO YOUR ROOM!” both the Doctor and Dearest Heart yelled in unison.

“Ah!” Dinky exclaimed as she bolted out of the workroom.

‘SLAM!’

The Doctor sighed and turned to face Dearest Heart. “We really must teach Dinky about how to slowly close doors.”

“And also not cause wonton property destruction and maybe try to avoid doing things that might get other ponies killed?” Dearest Heart added.

“Oh, I don’t know…” The Doctor said as a wicked grin suddenly emerged on his face.
“Some things are just genetic.”

“… Oh you are so going to ge— HEY! Get back here!” Dearest Heart demanded.

The Doctor lowered himself back onto all four hooves and trotted over to the consoles in Dearest Heart’s field of vision. He began pressing buttons and examine readouts. “Hmmm…. Oh yes… Yes, YEEEEESSSS!”

“I take it that it’s working?”

The Doctor galloped back up to Dearest Heart with a smile on his face. “Yes,” he answered simply. He quickly ducked out of her field of vision once more.

Dearest Heart felt the bed she was strapped to shift as the Doctor repositioned it. The beam above her followed from the barrel that had been pointed to her forehead to the device now affixed to it, but she now had a view of a static filled screen with an image behind it that was slowly coming into focus.

The Doctor pulled up a chair, donned a pair of what looked like blue and red 3D glasses in a white paper frame, and sat next to Dearest Heart. He jumped slightly as the image came into focus. “Good heavens! That doesn’t look anything like a pony!” He turned towards Dearest Heart with a frown. “Are you sure your equation would find… well… you…?”

Something else on the screen caught the attention of one of Dearest Heart’s eyes. She let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah… that’s definitely me…”

-ooo-

A human female with a fair skin, long blond tousled hair, and daisy-colored eyes that refused to point the same direction stared up at a large office printer/copier/fax machine which was dispensing fire and smoke instead of the usual paper one would expect from such a machine. A buttoned up steel-blue shirt hugged her shapely figure, ending about were a blue skirt began. The skirt went down to the woman’s knees as she sat with her right thigh and her slightly folded legs on the floor. Her hands were extended on either side of herself to help hold her upright.

As the fire alarms began to blare and water began to drench her from a sprinkler above, she gave the device in front of her a hopeless look.

Welp… It must be Tuesday…

Part 1 The Doctor is In: Chapter 1 Run!

The Destroyer and Her Doctor

Part 1: The Doctor is In

Chapter 1: Run!

As flames consumed the large office printer in front of her and water from the sprinkler above drenched her clothes as it battled the fire, one thought crossed Debra Hart’s mind.

I have to figure out how to fix this, fast!

She rapidly looked left to right, her eyes scanning in different directions as she attempted to find something, anything that could possibly improve this situation. Her eyes drifted over cubicle walls and the faces of curious and concerned coworkers sticking out over them.

One of her eyes settled on a red fire extinguisher sitting mounted on a wall a few yards away.

Debra’s eyes shot open. Fire extinguishers extinguish fires!

Debra scrambled to her feet and half-ran, half-stumbled towards the fire extinguisher and detached it from its mount. Wrapping her arms around the heavy item, she took a running start at the still-flaming copy machine and heaved the fire extinguisher.

‘CRUNCH!’

Whoops… Too fast… Debra thought as she suddenly remembered how a fire extinguisher was supposed to work.

As the water continued to pour from above and flames licked the fire extinguisher sitting in the remains of the smashed and half melted copy machine, the left side of Debra’s lips extended into a chagrined look.

Well… At least that didn’t make anything worse. The pressure assembly on that fire extinguisher should prevent—

‘BOOM!’

Without warning, the top of the fire extinguisher suddenly burst, spraying the copy machine with flame retardant gas and sending the fire extinguisher into the mass of cubicles to the chorus of panicked screams that crescendoed with the sound of a broken window, a ‘CRASH!’ from outside, and a blaring car alarm going off.

—THAT from happening!

As the water from above finally ceased, Debra stared at the ruined copy machine with an angry, frustrated expression. She could feel her left eye twitching as she heard the sound of a pop and a few alarmed yelps. Likely one or more of the fluorescent light fixtures had just broke.

‘Crrrrrrackle…’

Debra instinctively flinched as she heard static from up above. A tell-tale sign that someone had fired up the P.A. system. She knew what was coming next.

“DEBRA HART!” a furious feminine voice roared from speakers that resonated all across the floor. “MY OFFICE! NOW!”

Debra took a bit of her skirt and wrung it like a soaked dishrag, draining some of the water onto the already soaked carpet. “Be right there…” she uttered.

-ooo-

“My word…” the Doctor said as he reached up to the 3D glasses on his face and pulled them off. He rubbed them against his coat almost as if he was wiping clean a pair of spectacles.

“Still think that whoever we’re watching isn’t an alternative dimension version of me?” Dearest Heart asked without a trace of smugness.

The Doctor shook his head. “No, no… That display quite convinced me, and the glasses confirmed it.” He frowned as he watched Debra trudge dejectedly towards a door. “That’s clearly you all over.”

Dearest Heart scrunched her muzzle and shook her head, struggling vainly against the restraints around her head.

The Doctor turned to face her. “Problem, dearest?”

“Itch,” Dearest Heart said simply.

“Ah, right…” The Doctor reached over with his hoof and gave Dearest Heart’s a nose a vigorous rub. “Is that better?”

Dearest Heart smiled. “Much.” Her eyes drifted upwards, her left going slightly sideways as she attempted to focus on the dim glow on her forehead. “Hey, Doctor. The beam is now fixed to the thought wave receiver, riiigggggght?”

The Doctor nodded. “Quite correct, dear.”

“So… as long as I don’t move out of the range of the machine, all the equipment would work even if I moved, riiigggggght?”

The Doctor nodded. “Right again.”

“So why am I still tied to this bed?!”

The Doctor smiled mischievously. “I thought you rather liked being tied up.”

“Well not right now!I’m trying to watch me supposedly create an anomaly that’s going to destroy two dimensions. Being strapped to this chair is just a tiny bit distracting.”

The Doctor chuckled and hopped off his chair. “Let me make some popcorn and I’ll let you loose.”

Dearest Heart felt her head quiver in anger. “Make some popcorn?! Make some popcorn?! You’re enjoying this!”

“Quite correct, dear,” the Doctor answered from somewhere behind Dearest Heart.

Dearest Heart tightened her brow as the proverbial gears in her head, which in this case were more like a proverbial quantum computer. “… You left me tied up on purpose!” she asserted.

“Naw… Naw… I just… I just thought it’d be really, really funny when you realized I could have untied you at just about any point once the machine had locked on to your mental signature. So yeah… I suppose I did leave you tied up on purpose.”

Dearest Heart let out a frustrated growl.

“Butter, dearest?” The Doctor called out.

Dearest Heart’s face lit up. “You know it! Wait! I’m still mad at you!”

-ooo-

As Debra stood, sopping wet in the middle of an opulent office with her gray shirt clinging tightly to her chest and her unbuttoned blue shirt dangling off her like a soaked bathroom towel draped over her shoulders, she let her eyes wander. This was largely because keeping them focused on the scowling middle-aged woman behind the large oak desk in the room was starting to give her a headache. More specifically, focusing her vision on anything for a long period of time gave her headaches, but Debra couldn’t help but notice the feeling occurred at least five seconds faster and with 20% greater intensity any time she had to stare at Mrs. Floribunda… Which was more often than she cared to admit.

As her eyes drifted to the all too familiar office, Debra once again took note of walls decorated with expensive looking abstract paintings as well as plaques and trophies baring Mrs. Floribunda’s accomplishments as an executive and CEO with many years of service to the company as well as ones for her daughter baring slightly less impressive accomplishments such as ‘most improved’ or ‘participation’. Debra had often tried to see if she could spot any evidence of Mrs. Floribunda’s husband other than a single framed picture of Mrs. Floribunda, her daughter, and her husband crammed behind them that was on the desk; so far she had no luck in this regard. The picture had once fallen onto Debra’s face after she tripped and fell backwards when she attempting to stand up from one of the chairs in front of the desk.

Debra wasn’t entirely sure if that past incident was the sole reason Mrs. Floribunda had insisted she remain standing, but she was certain it was at least a contributing factor.

“So let me get this straight…”

Reality came rushing back to Debra and she swallowed hard as she returned her focus to Mrs. Floribunda, her left eye solidly hitting Mrs. Floribunda’s face while her right eye settled for one of her large diamond earrings, drifted down to her large diamond choker, and finally took in her light-pink business jacket with shoulder pads.

Mrs. Floribunda continued, “… you destroyed an expensive color copy machine, caused hundreds to thousands dollars’ worth of water damage, destroyed several cubicle walls, light fixtures, computer monitors, caused multiple injuries, broke an office window, and caused substantial damage to a brand new pink BMW 7 series with only a few thousand miles on it… all because you were trying to send a fax.”

Debra frowned heavily, processing the list, specifically the item which was given the most details. “Was it really that new of a car?”

Mrs. Floribunda grit her teeth. “Yes, I know this because it was mine.”

Debra flinched, what little chances she had to keep this job just caught fire and themselves out of a several dozen story high window. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Floribunda. I just don’t know what—”

“DON’T!”

Debra whimpered.

“Do you have any idea of how much damage you caused?!”

Debra thought for a moment. “Well, I can give you rough figure now, but if you let me inspect the damages, I should be able to provide a rather accurate—”

“Do you think this is funny?”

Debra snapped to attention. “Uh… No, not at all. Not even a little bit.”

Mrs. Floribunda lowered her eyelids until her eyes were narrow slits.

“Erm… If there’s anything I could to help—”

“Do you know of a special way I can fire you that goes beyond you simply losing your job?”

Debra winced. “Not as such, no…”

Mrs. Floribunda nodded. “Right, well since you’re no use to me in that regard and while working you’re a walking money hole and lawsuit creator, I’m simply going to have you escorted out of the building where we’ll hopefully never have to see each other ever again!”

Debra considered pleading for her job the way she had done so many times before. “But… but it’s been my dream to work for someone as brilliant at running a company and as smart as yo—”

“Don’t try to sweet talk me again!” Mrs. Floribunda exclaimed. “I’m through giving you more chances!”

Debra felt her shoulders slump forward in defeat. “Can’t I at least get my stuff from my desk?”

“Oh, I don’t know… Do you think you could manage that without causing another fire? Or without somehow causing a number of cube walls to collapse like dominos?”

“Er… I can’t in good conscience guarantee that.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Mrs. Floribunda replied dryly. “Your personal effects will be mailed to you.” Mrs. Floribunda gave Debra one last glare. “Now get out of my sight.”

With a heavy sigh, Debra turned walked towards the door. She grabbed the doorknob, opened the door, and walked smack into the doorframe with a heavy ‘thud!’

The sounds of various items falling off walls and shelves behind Debra could be heard quickly followed by a feminine growl.

Debra quickly stepped through the door and closed it behind her, hoping the heavy wooden item would shield the onslaught of angry words that were directed at her. A man in a black suit with a red tie was waiting for her, no doubt to escort her out. Debra decided to avoid eye contact.

“Blimey, you sure know how to make an exit.”

That’s funny… Since when does anyone British work here?

Debra raised a hand to her throbbing forehead and began rubbing it as she turned to the source of the voice. It was yet another well-dressed man. This one wearing a green tie and baby-blue buttoned up shirt under a brown sportcoat. Debra looked away, paused, then took another look.

The man was tall, unfairly so. A little over a head taller than herself. He had brown hair that was spiked adorably up and back from his face aside from a cute tuft poking out over his eyes… Oh, God. His eyes were a piercing blue, like the color of the sky on a blue day and… Gha! He was wearing just the sweetest smile on his face as he looked down at her.

Why?! Why did I have to meet this man while I’m soaked to the bone on the day I got fired?!

Debra quickly broke eye contact and began shuffling past cubicle walls to the elevators, her escort following wordlessly.

Soon Debra was looking down at an elevator button, or rather one eye was looking at an elevator button and the other was looking at one of the doors next to the button.

Debra reached out with an index finger, poked the elevator door, and quietly let out a frustrated growl. She then pressed the elevator button which lit-up. Her escort stood beside her.

As the elevator began to hum, Debra frowned and began patting the sides of her body. He clothing made a wet squishing sound as she quickly ran her hands up and down it. Keys, wallet, keys… I… I don’t have any pockets.

Debra sighed and did a quick 180 as she heard the elevator ‘ding!’ “I’m sorry,” she said. “I left my purse at my desk,” she said peering down the hall, hoping to maybe spot a kind familiar face she could ask a favor of. Finding no one, she continued, “Would it be alright if I quickly went back and got it?”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHCRUNCHsplortsplort…”

“… A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed,” Debra uttered in an irritated tone. Her eyes widened. A scream was certainly way out of line for what she had asked, but the sounds of something crunching followed by a sickly viscous sound was entirely out of the ordinary. She slowly turned her head.

Just her luck, her would-be escort was currently having his face chewed off by large, jagged mandibles and his body ripped limb from limb by some sort of man-sized green beetle creature.

… Wait, what?

“AAAAAAAAAAAAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

With a loud ‘BUZZZZZZ!’ the beetle suddenly took flight and slammed into the back wall of the elevator as if recoiling from Debra’s ear shattering scream. It spat an insectoid-like hiss at her as the elevator doors closed.

Debra placed a hand over her heart as it beat at a fevered pace inside her chest. Had she really just seen what she thought she saw? But… but that was impossible right? An insect that size simply couldn’t exist! Why, the earth simply lacked the levels of oxygen to support a creature with an exoskeleton that size. I mean… come on! It was just as unbelievable as the bloody man who was now missing a face and had his limbs attached that was lying in a heap at Debra’s feet.

…

Oh.

‘Ding!’

Terror in her eyes, Debra’s head turned towards the second elevator. The doors slowly opened as a mess of jointed, spiky legs thrusted out and gyrated aggressively.

Debra let out one more blood-curdling scream and turned, bolting back down the hallway in a sort of clumsy gait as she bumped against the wall and cubicles in her mad dash to escape.

“Run!”

‘Bump!’

“Run!”

‘Thud!’

“Run!”

‘Crash!’

“RUUUUUN!” she screamed at her former coworkers, hoping her reputation would precede her and everyone would know by now that it was best to listen.

Unfortunately, Debra could hear the sounds of screaming, buzzing, and hissing close behind her. She swallowed and quickened her pace, hoping none of those things were on the stairwell. She rounded a corner.

‘THUMP!’

Before Debra knew what was happening, her vision blurred more than usual and she could feel herself falling. She hit the floor… softly?

Debra looked up into the same pair of beautiful sky blue eyes that had met her as she exited Mrs. Floribunda’s office just a few minutes prior. She looked down and realized she was now straddling the handsome British gentlemen the eyes belonged to and getting his jacket and shirt wet as her own wet clothes started to soak into his.

For whatever reason, the man seemed to be looking up at Debra with a sort of good-natured, if slightly befuddled look.

Debra leaned down, grabbed both the gentleman’s arms and blurted out the first few things that went through her head. “Youreyesareverypretty! Also, RUN!”

Part 1 The Doctor is In: Chapter 2 What Did I Just Say?!

The Destroyer and Her Doctor

Part 1 The Doctor is In

Chapter 2 What Did I Just Say?!

The man currently laying under Debra Hart extended his right hand upwards and diagonally. “’Ollo! I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” He gave Debra a friendly smile as bloodied and screaming people ran past them. “I’m the Doctor.”

Debra shook her head as if to clear it, her eyes drifting slightly as she did. She took the Doctor’s hand in her own and gave it a shake. “Debra. Debra Hart-Why are we exchanging greetings?! The floor is full of giant beetle monsters that are trying to eat us!”

The Doctor chuckled. “Sorry! You threw me off by stealing my line. Erm… The ‘run!’ bit, not the bit about my eyes… Well, Debra, if you’d be so kind as to let me up.”

“Oh!” Debra said as her cheeks flushed slightly. She began to stand up, stumbling as she came to her feet and catching herself on the off-white wall.

The Doctor quickly rose to his feet, reached into his jacket with his left hand, and pulled out a cylindrical silver object with a blue tip. He began to poke a few buttons on the side of it with his other hand.

Debra leaned forward back onto her feet, watching as employees sprinted past her and the Doctor. “Uh… I can’t help but notice you’re not running.”

“No,” the Doctor answered simply as he continued to fiddle with his device.

“Okay… Well… It’s just that we might be eaten, and…”

“Not eaten, luv,” the Doctor replied without looking up. “Dismembered maybe, but not eaten. Tamaran beetles don’t eat organic matter, they subside on a different chemical compound entirely.”

Debra glanced up as more people ran or limped by, noting that the amount of injuries everyone had sustaining seemed to be increasing even as the number of people who ran by became smaller. She scrunched her lips up. “Dismembered then. Isn’t that something we should maybe, I don’t know… avoid?”

“Sure! But there’s people trapped up here still and we can’t have that, now can we?” The Doctor asked, now looking up at Debra.

“Erm… Alright, so what are you doing?”

“Well,” the Doctor began as he looked back down at his device. “I’m attempting to dial in the specific frequency to scare the beetles off. You see, a specific frequency brought them here and—”

“What, from space?!” Debra asked in disbelief.

“More like a dimensional tunnel through space. A primitive, but natural method of travel the beetles use to find new nesting locations. A little skill that they evolved when the Tamaraneans of Tamaran almost hunted them to extinction on their home planet. They just happened to be passing by when something that mimicked the Tamaran beetle mating call went off and gathered them all to this building.”

Debra’s mind reeled with all the words and concepts she was supposed to accept as fact all of a sudden. Her shoulders slumped and her face took on a slightly defeated look as if she was suddenly accepting a new degree of absurdity to her life. “Right, of course…” She noted the stampede of people had stopped while the screaming on the floor had not. This was accompanied by the sound of bending metal. Debra turned to face down the hallway and frowned heavily.

“Uh… The Doctor?”

“Almost got it,” the Doctor replied. “And you can just call me ‘Doctor’.”

“Right… No surname?”

The Doctor chuckled. “Naw, never had much use for one… Almost… Almost…”

The sounds of screaming and trashing of metal increased as well as Debra’s heart rate.

“… Almost… Do you really think my eyes are pretty? See, they’re quite new and I haven’t quite gotten—”

“You’re asking me this NOW?!”

The Doctor’s face lit up. “Got it!” he exclaimed, diving past Debra. “Allons-y!”

Debra turned and attempted to give chase. “Allonso-WhaaaAAAAAAH!” Debra exclaimed as she suddenly took another nose dive for the floor, hitting it with a ‘Thud!’

‘AieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAie…’

Face down on the floor, Debra tilted her head and perked an ear up as a high-pitched sound pierced the air. She woozily got to her feet as quickly as she could and continued following the Doctor. Turning a corner in what used to be a room full of rows of cubicles, she could see a mass of the green beetles seemingly transfixed by the Doctor’s device that was emitting the noise. The Doctor himself was looking back and forth between the beetles and the device with a concerned look on his face, as a group of her ex-coworkers huddled behind several, now mostly smashed, cubicle walls in a corner of the office building.

Debra poked her head out from behind the Doctor and gave her ex-coworkers a stern look. “Well, don’t just sit there! Run!”

The office workers quickly scrambled out of their damaged makeshift fort, past the Doctor and Debra and into the hallway.

“Problem?” Debra asked the Doctor as he stood holding the device, the beetles remaining rooted to their current location seemingly staring at the blue light as the device continued to admit it’s high-pitched tone of ‘AieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAieAie…’

“In a manner of speaking,” the Doctor said, turning his head away from the wailing device. “I think your eyes are enchanting.”

Debra could feel her cheeks turn hot. Did he… Did he just say the word ‘enchanting’?! No one has EVER complimented my eyes like that and-WAIT A MINUTE! She frowned. “And that’s a problem?”

“No, no,” the Doctor said. “Just returning your earlier compliment with something I noticed about you.”

“Right…” Debra said as she felt the burning sensation on her cheeks increase. She caught sight of the beetles that were transfixed by the device in the Doctor’s hand. “So what’s the problem?!” Debra asked in an impatient tone.

“This frequency was supposed to scare the beetles away, not keep them in place.” He frowned. “This species must have evolved a bit since I last encountered them.”

Debra furrowed her brow. “What? An evolution process like that would take several generations!” She looked at the beetles again, taking into account their large size. “Don’t tell me these things have a short lifespan.”

“Oh no, it’s quite long. Several decades at least.”

Debra gave the Doctor a sideways glance. He looked to be in his 20s, maybe early thirties if the aging process had been exceptionally good to him.

The Doctor extended his finger along his device. “Hold on, I think I got it…”

The tone of the device changed slightly.

‘AiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiEAiE…’

“There we go, that should…”

The beetles suddenly lit out a series of squeals and hisses, exploding in all directions. Some of those directions aiming towards Debra and the Doctor.

The Doctor recoiled and reached for Debra’s hand. “Or not! Run!”

“WhoaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Debra cried as the Doctor yanked her along. She followed in a clumsy gait as some of the giant insects gave chase. The pair rushed back down the hall they had arrived, their pursuers scuttling and flying after them. The beetles spit hisses, gnashed mandibles, and flailed insectoid limbs as they went.

The Doctor continued talking out loud as Debra continued screaming.

“Now, maybe if I pitch the tone up…”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“… and adjust the temporal modulation…”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“… as well as the change the rate of fluctuations…”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“… BAM! THAT might be just what we’re looking for!”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“… Of course we’ll need a safe place for me to make…”

AS the two were nearing a door with a red ‘EXIT’ sign above it, Debra felt a tug on her wet shirt that was flopping behind her and the sound of it ripping. The pitch of her scream suddenly shifted. “AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!”

The beetles in the immediate vicinity suddenly became a flurry of wings and hissing as they all backed off and scattered from the pair.

“That’s it!” the Doctor shouted as he threw open the heavy metal door, practically threw Debra through it and stepped to the other side slamming it behind him.

Debra barely caught herself on the metal railing, a mere foot before she would have tumbled down cement stairs. Her heart pounded fiercely and she could practically hear the blood rushing in her head. “Wha… huff… What is… puff… it?” she asked as she tried to catch her breath.

“Your scream!” the Doctor said. “That was exactly the tone we needed!” he gave Debra a concerned look. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Debra stood up straight. Holding onto the railing with her right hand, she tugged at her wet shirt with the other. Pulling the back towards her front, she could see a jagged rip in it. “No… One of them just caught my shirt.”

The Doctor gave Debra another, all too brief, dazzling smile. “Brilliant. Erm... You wouldn’t happen to know the exact frequency you just screamed at, would you?”

Debra paused and looked upwards, almost as if the answer was printed on her eyelids. She shook her head. “No, sorry… I wasn’t concentrating enough to note it,” she answered without a hint of sarcasm.

“Bugger,” the Doctor replied. His face suddenly lit up. “Could you scream again? I’m sure if you can reproduce that exact tone I can adjust my sonic screwdriver to match.”

“Sonic screwdriver?”

“It’s…” the Doctor paused for a moment. “It’s not important right now.”

Debra furrowed her brow and gave the Doctor a frustrated hum.

“What is important is that you scream for me!”

Debra scrunched her lips, looked upwards for a moment, inhaled, and yelled as loud as she could. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” she cried. The sound reverberated off the cement walls.

The Doctor shook his head. “No, that wasn’t quite it. You had more of an ‘E’ sound going on.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!”

“Closer!” the Doctor said. “But I think you had another vowel thrown in there.

Debra took a couple of deep breaths. “Okay, I think… I think this time I—”

With a resounding ‘crunch!’ the wall next to the fire door suddenly burst outward revealing a hissing and flailing beetle.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

The beetle suddenly recoiled and flew backwards, leaving a massive hole it had been sticking out of.

“Got it!” the Doctor cried triumphantly as he touched his sonic screwdriver once more. He threw open the fire door as his device squealed in a similar high-pitched tone.

‘AIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIE…’

Any nearby beetles scattered at the sound of the device, hissing, bumping into each other, and scrambling over one another in an attempt to get away from the sound. The Doctor and Debra stepped through the door as their former giant insect attackers fled in all directions.

“Did… did that do it?” Debra asked.

The Doctor shook his head and pushed a button on his sonic screwdriver, silencing it. “That’ll scare them away from us, but the beetles have certainly infested this entire building. We’ll need to reproduce the sound at a much larger scale.”

Debra thought for a moment before her face lit up in a smile. “The P.A. system!”

The Doctor looked up, taking note of the speakers along the walls and ceiling of the floor. “Brilliant!”

Debra nodded. “There’s a control board and microphone in my boss’s office!” she said excitedly. Debra began to sprint off into the floor. “Follo-WHA!” Debra tripped over debris and hit the ground with a ‘thud!’

The Doctor rushed up to Debra’s side and began to lean down. “Are you al—”

Debra shot back up to her feet and continued running towards an office door. “Follow me!”

“—right…” The Doctor finished as he followed Debra. “Isn’t that ‘ex-boss’?!” he shouted after her.

“Oh rub it in, why don’tcha!” Debra shot back as she reached the heavy wooden office door. She grabbed the doorknob, then tried to turn it and give it a yank in one quick motion. The knob and door held fast.

“Locked!” Debra said.

“No problem,” the Doctor said as he reached into his coat. “I can—”

“But why…” Debra’s eyes shot open. “Mrs. Floribunda!” She turned to face the door. “She must still be in there!”

“No, really,” the Doctor said as produced his sonic screwdriver. “I can just—”

Debra banged her fist on the door. “Mrs. Floribunda!” she shouted. “Open up! We need to use the P.A. system!”

“Debra?!” Came the call from inside the office. “Go away! I’m not opening that door!”

“It’s a matter of life and death!” Debra cried.

“Right,” the Doctor said. “So if you could just let go of the knob, and—”

“It’s my life I’m worried about!” Mrs. Floribunda shot back.

The Doctor sighed. “We don’t have—”

“We don’t have time for this!” Debra exclaimed. She leaned her weight back away from the door and quickly thrust herself against the door, hitting it with a resounding ‘thud’ before sliding down the surface of the door and collapsing on the ground.

The Doctor opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Debra looked up at him.

“It’s no good!” she lamented. “My body doesn’t have the necessary weight behind it to generate enough force to break—“

‘Buzzzzzzzzzzz’

‘Click!’

Debra looked up in amazement as the Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver away from the knob and placed it back in his jacket. “Sonic screwdriver,” he said with a smile. “Never leave home without it.” He extended a hand and helped Debra up to her feet.

The Doctor opened the door and motioned towards it. “After you!”

Debra smiled just as she was greeted with, “How did you get that door open?! I DEMAND you leave immediately!”

Debra turned to stare at Mrs. Floribunda, somehow perfectly communicating the word ‘Really?’ entirely through her expression. “We need to use the—”

“I’ll call security!” Mrs. Floribunda screamed as she picked up a phone receiver.

“THE BUILDING IS FULL OF GIANT KILLER BEETLES!” Debra exploded. “I SERIOUSLY DOUBT ANY SECURITY PERSONNEL ARE STILL IN THE BUILDING!” Debra began to advance towards the desk, stepping over the pictures, plaques, and trophies that still littered the floor.

“Stay away! Listen—”Mrs. Floribunda began.

“NO, YOU LISTEN!” The Doctor roared as he pointed an accusatory index finger.

As she circled the desk, Debra tripped on one of the trophies, and crashed headlong into Mrs. Floribunda knocking her back into her chair. Debra landed across Mrs. Floribunda’s lap and the armrests before the entire chair fell forward towards the desk. Debra toppled to the ground as Mrs. Floribunda’s face hit the desk with a sickly ‘crunch!’

“I USUALLY YELL AT PEOPLE UNTIL THEY LISTEN TO ME IN THESE SITUATIONS!” the Doctor continued in his heated tone. “BUT I SEE THAT WON’T BE NECESSARY IN THIS CASE!”

Debra’s index finger suddenly shot up from behind the desk. “I’m oooookaaaay!” she asserted. Her hand slowly lowered and she let out a frightful gasp.

The Doctor quickly made his way to the other side of the desk as Debra rolled over Mrs. Floribunda onto her back. Mrs. Floribunda eyes were closed and her nose was misshapen and splattered with blood.

Supporting herself on her hands as she sat on her rear. Debra’s lip began to quiver as her eyes began to fill up with tears. “I ka… I kill… I killed my boss!” she wailed. She tried to choke back the sobs that welled up in her throat.

“Well lucky you!” The Doctor said as he knelt down and placed a pair of fingers on Mrs. Floribunda’s neck. “I’m sure you just lived the primary fantasy of many who’ve had the pleasure of working for her.”

“It’s not… choke… It’s not… sob…” Debra bit her lower lip as tears streamed down her cheeks. “It’snotfunny!”

“Right, sorry,” the Doctor said as he raised his fingers. “I was just having a laugh. She’s fine.”

“She… sniff… She is?!”

The Doctor stood up, reaching for both Debra’s hands and bringing her to her feet. “Weeeelllll, ‘fine’ in this case is a relative term. She broke her nose, is probably slightly concussed, and is out cold, but she’ll live.”

From the ground. Mrs. Floribunda groaned softly.

Debra let out a sigh of relief and shook her head. “For a moment there, I really thought I’d killed her. I’m not sure I could live with myself if I accidently murdered Mrs. Floribunda…” A slightly mischievous smile danced across Debra’s face. “But I can live with her having a broken nose and mild concussion.”

Still holding Debra’s hands, the Doctor smiled cheerfully. “Oh, I like you.”

Debra’s heart skipped a beat.

The Doctor turned towards the desk, adjust the microphone and began turning knobs on the P.A. system. “Now, I just get the speakers working all over the building and...” The Doctor produced his sonic screwdriver.

‘AIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIE…’

The high-pitched tone sounded throughout the entire building as a fever pitch of hisses, crashes, and shattered glass joined in.

Debra steadied herself as this building itself shook and then…

…

… nothing.

The Doctor looked up with a questioning expression for a moment then smiled to himself. “There! The beetles just did a dimensional space shift.”

“Phew…” Debra circled to the front of the desk and collapsed against it. “Glad that’s over…”

The Doctor circled to the other side of the desk and sat next to her. “Wellll… the beetles were just scared away from the building! Once the mating call ended, there was no longer a reason for the beetles to stay, so they likely found something they can eat. In all likelihood, they’ve just migrated to another building in the area that also has their food source.”

“What?” Debra asked as her eyes went wide.

“What?” The Doctor parroted.

“De-Debra?” Mrs. Floribunda moaned from behind the desk.

“Uh-oh,” Debra uttered as her face turned pale.

The Doctor helped Debra up to her feet. “Problem?”

“You’re unfairly tall!” Debra cried as she stepped over the items on the floor and made herself towards the door of the office.

“And that’s a problem?!” the Doctor asked as he followed Debra.

Debra smiled to herself. “Not really…”

Part 1 The Doctor is In: Chapter 3 The Distance

Author's Note

There's an alternative version of this chapter with lyrics provided here. Heads up for those who've read some of my other stuff with music, but I'm trying something slightly different on the doc that'll hopefully be easy enough to follow and require me to fuss with formatting a bit less here on FimFiction.

Enjoy and thanks for reading!

Part 1 The Doctor is In: Chapter 3 The Distance

The Destroyer and Her Doctor

Part 1 The Doctor is In

Chapter 3 The Distance

Debra Hart slowly followed the Doctor down a set of cement stairs, leaning forward as she clung to the metal railing for dear life. She looked down the stairs towards the Doctor and swallowed hard, as if falling meant certain doom, or at least horrible injury for herself. Of course in her case, it almost certainly did.

Seemingly oblivious to her plight, the Doctor rattled on with excited energy about the beetles that had nearly killed them both. “... Truly remarkable creatures, those beetles! The product of one of the most interesting evolution chains you’d ever see!”

“Uh-huh…” Debra said as she took a few more tentative steps after the Doctor.

“I gave it some thought and I figure it was some sort of alarm managed to mimic the beetles mating call. You know… like a fire alarm in the building that went off at just the right moment! One in a million-billion-trillion chance, really!”

“Fire alarm…” Debra replied as she continued trying to keep up with the Doctor. “Right…”

The Doctor turned. “Oh, you know something about it?”

“Uh… We had a… a false alarm that went off! Yeah! That must have…” Debra trailed off as she noticed the Doctor’s piercing blue eyes had locked with her daisy colored ones. She lowered her head slightly, but maintained eye contact. “Must have…”

“Debra, are you alright?”

“Fine! Fine!” Debra said hastily as she clung tighter to the railing. “What would make you think otherwise?”

“Oh well, it’s just because you’re holding onto the railing like it’s the last life preserver of the Titanic.”

Debra could feel her face turn hot. “I um… I don’t do well with stairs…”

The Doctor extended a hand.

Her face still burning, Debra looked at the hand and back up at the Doctor.

The Doctor thrust his hand forward a few times, emphasizing that he wanted Debra to grab it.

Debra grabbed hold of the Doctor’s hand as he began leading Debra down the stairs. He wasted no time regaining his momentum at talking about the situation at hand. “So, that explains why the beetles arrived, but not why they stayed.” The Doctor opened a woodgrain door marked ‘B1’ and stepped through, holding onto Debra’s hand as she walked behind him. “I might have to do a full analysis of the buildings structure to…” The Doctor stopped and stared upwards. “Blimey…”

“What?” Debra said. She too glanced upwards. “Oh…” she said as she began looking around the room.

The basement was a mess of large pipes and white walls with large holes in them, masses of fuzzy gray insulation littered the floor in front of the areas where the walls had been ripped up.

The Doctor let go of Debra’s hand and walked over to one of the gray piles. “Well, I think we found what the beetles were feeding off of, but what is it?”

Debra’s brow pulled forward as her eyes began to focus, both of them fixed on the gray substance as the Doctor pulled up a chunk of it. The Doctor raised the fuzzy material up to his face and stuck out his tongue.

“DON’T LICK THAT!” Debra cried as her eyes unfocused.

The Doctor turned and gave Debra an indignant look. “If you can think of a better way to identify strange materials from inside the walls of buildings just assailed by trans-galactic beetles, I’d love to hear it.”

“It’s Mg3Si2O5(OH)4!” Debra said. “Chrysotile… er… a type of asbestos.” Debra frowned heavily. “We can get cancer just from staying here too long and inhaling the dust particles.”

The Doctor stood up and dropped the mass of grey insulation in his hand. “Well, that’s not so much an issue for me but… How’d you know what it was?”

“Um... I could make out the chemical composition…”

The Doctor’s forehead tightened. “What, by looking at it?”

“Yes… it’s…” Debra sighed. “Whenever I focus my eyes I see all kinds of details about things. What they’re made up of, their structural integrity… all kinds of stuff!”

The Doctor’s eyes shot open wide. “Brilliant! So why don’t you do that all the time?”

“Because it’s sort of like trying to read a book, watch television, listen to music, and carry on a conversation at the same time! It’s just… just a bombardment of information and I can only focus on one thing at a time!” Debra winced and raised a hand to her head. “And it really hurts!”

“Oh dear,” the Doctor said. “Are you going to be alright?”

Debra clenched her eyelids and nodded. “It’ll pass…”

The Doctor nodded. He glanced at a door behind him, then back to Debra as if he was considering something. “Right weeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll—”

“Doctor?”

“—lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, I should probably be going.”

Debra’s eyes shot open wide as she felt a sharp pain in her heart as if someone had just jabbed it with something incredibly sharp. “What?!”

“I’ve got to take care of those beetles before anyone else gets hurt.”

Debra gave the Doctor a pleading look. “Okay but… but I thought I was helping!”

“You were helping. It’s just that… that…”

Debra let out a heavy sigh as she fought back tears. “Just that I’m a total klutz and you’re afraid I’ll screw something up?”

“Erm… No… not exactly…” The Doctor took a few steps backwards towards a door in the basement. “Debra… Look, I’m sorry but you’re the kind of person that needs their hand held. You’re clearly brilliant, but you need someone around to look after you.”

“But I don’t want to be a burden!”

“I realize that, but”— the Doctor shook his head – “I’m not the type of person who can be there for you all the time. If you’re around me, you’re going to be in danger, and I can’t always be there to protect you, as much as I’ll want to. And believe me, I’ll want to.”

Debra clenched her fists tightly as she felt her chest tighten. The pain on her heart remained as if she could feel it breaking. Despite all this, Debra forced a smile onto her face. “That’s okay! I can take care of myself if I have to.” Debra felt tears start to roll down her cheeks. She tried to choke back powerful sobs that threatened to bring her to her knees even as she kept on smiling. “I… just… I just want to do something useful for a change…”

The Doctor took one more step towards the door and gave Debra a sorrowful look. “I’m sorry, Debra… Goodbye.”

Tears were now flowing freely down Debra’s cheeks. “No…” Debra uttered sadly as the Doctor opened “Please don’t… Please don’t leave me…”

The Doctor opened the door, and hesitated for a moment. After a beat, he quickly entered the room he was standing in front of and closed the door behind him.

Debra fell to her knees as sadness overtook her. She began to weep openly, uncaring about the condition of the room she was in or the long term effects staying in it might have on her body.

‘feeesssCHWhoooooofeeesssCHWhooooofeeesssCHWhooooofeeesssCHWhooooo…’

Debra looked up as she heard a peculiar whooshing sound coming from the door the Doctor had just exited through. She quickly scrambled to her feet and made her way towards the door.

‘CerrrrrreeeeeeCreeeeeeCreeeeefeeesssCHWhoooooofeeesssCHWhooooo…’

A high pitched wail seemed to join the sound as Debra stumbled and caught herself as she made her way to the door. She threw it open to reveal small utility closet. Empty aside from some odd cleaning supplies. Debra looked left and then right. Seeing nothing, she forced her eyes to focus. She was suddenly bombarded by numbers and equations the likes of which she had never seen before.

Debra gasped and her eyelids dropped slightly.

“No…” Debra uttered. “No! I won’t have it.” She declared in a resolute tone. Debra patted herself, remembering her purse was still upstairs. She began to march towards the stairs. “I won’t have it!” she shouted determinedly into the empty room.

-ooo-

Staring at the display in front of him, the Doctor, or the Equestrian equivalent of him, gnashed his teeth, fumed, and began to yell at the screen. “No you bloody idiot! You can’t just leave her! You’re going to need her!”

“Hah!” Dearest Heart’s slightly derisive laugh sounded out. “Frustrating, isn’t it? Now maybe you understand how I felt when we first met.”

The Doctor struggled slightly, as if trying to move an appendage that was restrained and then suddenly remembering it was supposed to be. “It’s just… she’s the key to all this! If he leaves—”

Dearest Heart’s face suddenly popped into the Doctor’s view. “Right, she’s key. Not you. Me…” Dearest Heart smiled to herself. “Well, other me…”She leaned forward and rubbed her nose against the Doctor’s. “Does that burn you up inside?”

“NO!” The Doctor shouted. He pursed his lips slightly. “A little… But, but… What if he just leaves her?” The Doctor gave Debra a knowing look. “You know she’s going to need him just as much as he needs her.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Debra said as she ran her foreleg over the Doctor’s mane. “I’m sure they end up traveling together.”

The Doctor looked at Debra with a ponderous expression. “What makes you so sure?”

“Do you really think I could manage to put two universes in danger without you involved somehow?”

The Doctor thought about this for a brief moment. “You have a point-Ow!” The Doctor looked towards his right. “Chirpy, be gentle!”

“Sorry, daddy!” A gray pegasus filly with lilac eyes replied as she tied off a rope around the Doctor’s foreleg and a hospital bed armrest. “But mommy said to make the ropes nice and tight.”

“I bet she did…”

Dearest Heart let out a mischievous giggle.

The Doctor strained his neck to look down at his back legs. They were being tied to a bed by another gray pegasus filly that looked like a smaller version of Dearest Heart. “Please just keep your mother away from any big wooden mallets.”

“Haha, oh please,” Dearest Heart replied. “As if I’d think for a second hobbling you would stop you from anything.”

“Well, that’s most certainly true-Ow!” The Doctor leaned his head back. “Girls, I think I’m quite restrained. Thank you!”

The two fillies stopped tying ropes and looked towards Dearest Heart for confirmation.

Dearest Heart gave a loving glance towards the filly that was the spitting image of herself. “Well, Dreamy? Can Daddy escape?”

The small filly looked over her restrained father as her eyes focused briefly. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Uh-uh. Even with daddy’s earth pony strength, he can’t get out until someone unties him.”

The Doctor began to mumble to himself. “Lousy, useless earth pony strength… Wish I’d regenerated as a unicorn or a pegasus.”

“Oh, hush you!” Dearest Heart said. “You know your strength has come in handy on more than one occasion.” She winked. “And the stamina comes in quite handy as well.”

The Doctor glanced in the direction Dearest Heart had winked. “Is there something going on between you and the D.Q.P.T. dearest? Do I need to show that machine what for with my earth pony strength?”

“Shut up! You know that wink was meant for you! Be nice or I’ll call Dinky down to help!”

A frightful look came over the Doctor. “No, no… If Dreamy says the ropes we have are sufficient, that’s enough for me.”

Dearest Heart nodded with a smile. “Good.” She held out the flat, round thought wave receiver. “Chirpy, could you put this on your dad’s forehead?”

“Sure, mommy!” Chirpy replied. She took flight and fluttered over to Dearest Heart, taking the thought wave receiver. She flew up to the same height as the Doctor’s head and place the thought wave receiver smack dab in the center of his forehead.

Dearest Heart looked back down at the Doctor. “Now… are you sure your other dimensional counterpart won’t notice we’re watching him?”

“Oh, I doubt that he will,” the Doctor replied. “I’ve always had a bit of a blind spot when it comes to parallel dimensions. I’m willing to bet my counterpart is the same way.”

Dearest Heart smiled satisfactorily and turned to her daughters. “I’m so proud of you girls! Alright, now give mommy a big hug.”

Chirpy and Dreamy trotted up to Dearest Heart as the girls wrapped their forelegs around each other and held each other tightly.

“Oh, that’s just unfair!” The Doctor exclaimed.

Dearest Heart rolled her eyes. “Alright, you two hug daddy, too.”

The two pegasi fillies threw themselves on top of their father and squeezed tightly.

Dearest Heart leaned over in front of the Doctor. “Better?”

The Doctor sighed and strained his forelegs against the ropes. They didn’t budge. “It’ll have to do…”

Dearest Heart giggled once more. “Alright girls. Chirpy, go pull the lever daddy labeled with the bigsign that says ‘pull this’ before you leave. Dreamy, go get Dinky and ask her to come back downstairs. Amethyst Star should have dinner ready soon. I want you girls on your best behavior for Amethyst Star.”

The fillies detached themselves from the Doctor and both replied with an obedient, “Yes, mommy.”

The Doctor paused for a moment as Dearest Heart put some distance between herself and the aperture pointed at his forehead. “Best behavior, dearest? I’m not sure even that is enough to keep the children out of trou—”

The machine above the Doctor began a low hum that slowly began to increase in intensity.

“What was that, honey?!” Dearest Heart shouted back in a half-joking tone. “I can’t hear you over the machine!”

The Doctor sighed. “Never mind…”

-ooo-

Back at the dimensions were humans and aliens that often look like humans live, the Doctor stood in front of a white door with the words ‘POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX’ printed backwards above it in glowing text sounded by a rectangular black outline. In front of him was a well-lit, spherical chrome room with a bit of a blue tint caused by the glowing lights of the room. A few steps down a walkway sat a raised circular platform surrounded by railings and a couple sets of stairs. Three chairs built into the platform faced inward in between the railings and two sets of consoles with switches, speakers, and blinking lights. The chairs, railing, and consoles composed the outermost ring of the platform.
In the center of this platform was another console in a hexagon shape with most the panels filled with lights, buttons, levers, and switches. The hexagon panels surrounded a clear cylinder that extended all the way up into the high ceiling of the spherical room. This cylinder was filled with bright blue tubular lights arranged vertically around a glowing piston. A pair of monitors extended from the cylinder.

With a heavy sigh. The Doctor stopped for a moment and turned to stare at the door behind him once more. He shook his head back and forth as if clearing an intrusive thought from it and walked up to one of the side consoles.

“Right then,” he said to the empty room as he began pushing, poking, and even pounding buttons with his fist.

A screen behind the doctor lit up as the Doctor turned and looked up at it with a serious expression.

Back at the office basement, Debra walked resolutely down a set of stairs, a brown purse slung over her left shoulder. Her left hand held onto the railing, her right held her smart-phone which was pressed against her ear.

“Debra?!” A feminine voice answers from the other line. “I was worried sick about you!”

“Amy,” Debra began in a serious tone, “I need you to pick me up from work.”

“I’m already here!” Amy cried from the other line. “I drove down as soon as heard there was something going on at your office! Debra, this is all over the news!”

“Never mind that!” Debra shouted at the phone.

“There’s a fire escape on the north side of the building. You’re going to pick me up there.”

“Debra… What?! You’re not making any sense!”

“Just do it, okay?!” Debra replied. “This is really important and I need your help!”

There was a beat of silence on the other line. “… Alright, Debra. I’ll be there.”

“Great!” Debra said as she reached the bottom of the stairs. “Now I need to use my phone so see you there!” she said in a chipper tone.

“WAIT, DEBRA!” Amy shouted. “WHICH WAY IS NORTH?!”

Debra pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the screen, terminating the call.

Back at his circular room, the Doctor smirked as a green glow from the monitor enveloped has face.

He began pressing, poking, and pounding things on the hexagon console. He lifted his leg and placed his foot against a large lever as he picked up a wooden mallet and began whacking it repeatedly against an array buttons as sparks flew out.

The room began to hum with energy as the blue piston inside the clear cylinder lifted upwards and fell downwards rhythmically.

The entire room shook as the Doctor continued to lay on top of his console at an awkward angle.

He whacked the button array a few more times before getting back to his feet. The device began to make a peculiar whooshing sound as the Doctor stared at the monitor once more and rushed around to the opposite side of the center console. Again, he began pressing buttons, flipping switches, and pulling levers. Soon the hum and whooshing had stopped and the Doctor found himself staring at the doors to the room once more.

“Once more unto the breach,” the Doctor uttered.

Back at the office building, Debra walked with a deliberate pace as she spoke into her phone. “Select top five star from hashtag Van Nuys locations.” Debra reached a door with a push handle below a glowing red sign that said ‘EXIT’ and stepped outside. A purple sedan with a concerned looking female driver with purple hair and amethyst eyes was waiting for her.

Debra walked around to the passenger side, threw open the door, and sat down. She closed the door and began staring at her phone. “Seat belt!” Debra said in a commanding tone without looking up from the phone screen.

The driver sighed and undid her own seat belt. She leaned over Debra, grabbed her seat belt, and buckled Debra in. She then sat back in her own chair and buckled herself back in. “Debra, what—”

Debra thrust her phone in front of the face of the driver. “We’re going here. No questions!”

The driver let out an annoyed growl and started the car. “Thanks for coming to pick me up after that horrible incident at my work, Amy!” she said in a mock bubbly tone. “No problem, Debra!” she continued with faux happiness. “What are cousins for?”

“Less passive aggressive complaining, more driving!”Debra snapped.

The Doctor threw open both white doors and pointed his sonic screwdriver forward. With a press of a button, it once again emitted a high-pitched squeal.

Giant green beetles hissed and squealed in return as they flew and scuttled away from the Doctor. He marched into a dimly-lit, large, open warehouse, bee-lining for a massive rectangular concrete support column. Upon reaching it, the Doctor hit another button on his screwdriver and the tone it emitted suddenly pitches upwards.

The beetles scuttled and flew towards the Doctor as the column in front of him shook violently. The entire building quaked as cracks appeared in the support column. Moments before a beetle fell upon the Doctor, he turned and pointed his sonic screwdriver. With another push of a button, the tone shifted back. The attacking beetle, as well as all in the vicinity, immediately scattered.

The Doctor homed in on another column, once again repeating the process of marching towards it with his sonic screwdriver extended. As he reached the column, he once again shifted the tone. Again the support column shook and cracked. Again the building quaked. Again the beetles swarmed closer.

“Oh my god, Debra!” Amy said in a hushed, panicky tone as she and Debra peeked out from behind a crate. “You brought us to a warehouse full of giant bugs?! How… how… Just… What life choices did you make where this is even a thing that now happens to you?!”

“Shhhhh! Calm down! The Doctor might need our help!”

“Is that the guy waving the blue light around? Why is he waving the blue light around?” Once again the building began to shake. “More importantly, why are we here?!”

Debra raised an index finger to her lips. “Shhhhhh!” She looked down the length of the Warehouse, the Doctor had nearly reached the other end, followed by his promenade of giant irate insects. “Look, he’s using high frequency sonic waves to weaken the support columns…” Debra’s face lit up. “He’s going to collapse the warehouse on top of the beetles!”

Once again, the entire warehouse shook.

Amy gave Debra a pleading look. “That sounds like the opposite of a reason as to why we’re here.”

“He’s coming back!” Debra said in a hushed, excited tone. For a moment, her eyes focused. “Of course! He deliberately left the last support column in a state where he could easily finish the job and rush back into his—” Debra turned towards a blue, rectangular box about the size of a phone booth. The box looked to be made out of wood and sported the words ‘POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX’ over a set of windowed double doors. A lamp-like light adorned the top of the box. “—space ship! Ow!” Debra said as she rubbed her head.

Amy looked at the box, looked at Debra, then looked back at the box. “I just… I… Debra… I… just… I just can’t! I don’t think I can even ‘even’ at this moment.”

Debra frowned. “We better get ready to move…”

The Doctor had reached the first support column. The high-pitched tone from his sonic screwdriver switched again, and the column began to crack further and shake. The entire building began to rumble and even some of the glass windows began to shatter.

Amy stood up. “Yeah, we better—”

As she stared at the Doctor, Debra caught something green and large out of the corner of her eye quickly fly up to him. “LOOK OUT!” she cried.

The Doctor turned. “Deb-Ooof!”

A beetle slammed headlong into the Doctor, knocking him to the ground and sending his sonic screwdriver spinning and sailing across the floor.

Debra was on her feet in an instant, sprinting towards the fallen device with an agility she so rarely achieved. Beetles swarmed towards her as she focused on the sonic screwdriver. She closed her eyes as the throbbing pain in her head set in and the sounds of hissing and beating wings became deafening.

Just a few dozen feet more… Almost there… DROP NOW!

Debra opened her eyes and slid forward onto the hard cement floor, she extended both her arms outwards and snatched the sonic screwdriver in her left hand. She quickly hit a button on it and held it straight up.

‘AIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIEAIE…”

The beetles spat hisses and flew away in all directions.

“Debra?!” The Doctor shouted as he leaned against the column he had just tried to destroy. “Oh that was magnificent!”

“DOCTOR!” Debra cried as she rose to her feet, tried to break into a running start, and took a few steps. A few feet before reaching the Doctor, Debra stumbled, falling headlong into the Doctor’s waiting arms. “Ooof!” She looked up. “Oh! Are you hurt?! Are you bleeding?!”

The Doctor chuckled and shook his head. “I’m fine. Just a little bruised. I’m sure you know how that goes.”

Debra gave out a heavy sigh. “Yeeeaaaaaah….” she said in an admitting tone.

“AH!” Amy cried as she suddenly ran up to the pair in front of the support column. “Hey! With all these giant bugs around, it seemed safer here.”

The Doctor took a look at the new person to join him and Debra by the cracked support column. Amy wore a purple sleeveless dress with a diamond-shaped clasp. Under the dress was a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The Doctor glanced upwards. “Well, with the state of that column, not much safer I dare say.”

Amy’s face went white. “O-oh…” she uttered.

The Doctor extended his hand. “Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m the Doctor.”

Amy took the Doctor’s hand and gave it a shake. “I’m terrified for my life, but you can call me ‘Amy’.”

“Amy!” The Doctor said excitedly. “I like that name!”

Debra lowered her eyelids and shot an unfocused glare set to ‘kill’ towards Amy. “She’s my cousin…” she informed in a vaguely threatening tone.

“Oooooh, right then!” The Doctor said. “Debra here must drag you into all sorts of trouble!”

“Hey!” Debra protested.

“Yes, yes she does,” Amy confirmed. “Though the giant green bugs and warehouse that’s about to collapse is a new one.” Amy looked the Doctor up and down. “So erm… Should I be hugging you too, or—”

“No!” Debra said sharply.

Amy held out her hands defensively. “Just trying to stay as safe as possible here.”

The Doctor looked down at Debra. “How’d you find me? And how’d you get here so fast?!”

Debra reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. “I hacked the National Asbestos Claims Office’s database and figured out which claims were logged for the closest building in the area. I mean… I figured if the beetles were looking for food, they wouldn’t travel far if they didn’t have to! This warehouse was only a few blocks away.”

“Oh, right…” The Doctor said as he remembered he had made a quick exit to ‘very far away’ before tracking where the beetles had gone to. The Doctor’s eyes shot open wide. “You did that with your phone?!” he cried in disbelief.

Debra smiled and shrugged. “Well, I programed a voice app into my phone a while back to interact with it.” Debra sighed. “I’m no good with the touch screen,” she lamented. “It took months to make that program! Still… It’s not exactly like the database at the National Asbestos Claims Office was under particularly tight security or had anything encrypted...”

“Still, that’s genius,” the Doctor insited.

Debra’s face lit up. “You really think so?”

“Hey,” Amy chimed in, “could we maybe talk about this later and somewhere where we’re all less likely to die?”

“Oh, right…” the Doctor replied. “Imminent death and all that,” he looked down at bright blue light of the sonic screwdriver that was making a muffled squealing from between himself and Debra. “Well, I can finish off the column.” He looked out into the warehouse were a circle of hissing green beetles could be seen in all directions. “However, as soon as I change frequencies, we’re likely to be swarmed by beetles.”

“Oh, great!” Amy said sarcastically. “So it’s either death by giant beetles or death by being crushed under warehouse rubble!”

Debra sighed. “Must you always be so negative?”

“I don’t want to die!” Amy cried as she held up palms with tightened fingers.

Debra glanced upwards and focused her eyes for a moment. “Ow… Okay, I have an idea.”

“Oh, no….” Amy said in a lamenting tone.

“Oh, yes!” the Doctor said with a grin on his face.

Debra leaned back out of the Doctor’s embrace and walked around to right side of the support column. “Okay, get ready to run.”

Amy sighed. “Words to live by when I’m around you.”

The Doctor pointed towards the blue box a few dozen meters down the warehouse. “Run for the police box when she’s ready.”

“… The what?”

The Doctor sighed and shook his head. “Bloody Americans…”

Debra ran her hands over the side of the column, nodded to herself, and turned so she was now parallel to the column. She shifted her weight to the left and suddenly shifted it back to the right, hitting the column with her hip.

‘WHACK!’

The column began to crack and crumble immediately.

“RUUUUUN!” Debra shouted as she broke into a sprint for the police box. Barely halfway there, Debra took a spill and ended up flat on her face.

Even as she felt strong arms pick her up and pull her close to the Doctor, she could feel the tears well up behind her eyes.

A deafening roar of collapsing wood, metal and concrete filled the warehouse as the center fell inwards. It was quickly followed by the walls. Debra watched as heavy wooden support beams crushed beetles mere feet from behind her and the Doctor as he carried her into a bright room.

“Sorry!” the Doctor said as Debra was quickly placed on her feet. Debra watched as the Doctor stepped in front of her and closed the white doors just as she could hear the world outside crumble and crash into them.

From behind Debra, Amy began to attempt speech. “It’s a… a….a… a….”

Debra didn’t bother to look up. She felt hot tears roll down her cheeks.

The Doctor looked down at Debra with a quizzical expression. “Uh… Alright… Sorry if this is insensitive, but what’s with the water works?”

Amy continued to work on that sentence she was having trouble formulating. “…. a… a… a… spa… It’s a spa…”

Unable to meet the Doctor’s case, Debra choked out a response. “I… I... I fa… I fell…”

The Doctor lowered his left hand and gently pressed it against Debra’s chin, raising her face to look at him. “Shhhhh, shhh, shhhh,” The Doctor wiped away some of Debra’s tears with his right hand. “You were magnificent.”

“… spa… spa… spa…”

“Sniff... I was?” Debra replied, a smile starting to return to her face.

The Doctor smiled wide. “Absolutely brilliant.”

“SPACESHIP!” Amy exclaimed. “In… in a box the size of a phone booth! But… but… how?!”

Debra turned and her jaw suddenly unhinged as she took in the sight before her. She ignored the pain as she focused her eyes.

The Doctor chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a bit bigger on the—”

Debra let out a girly shriek of delight. “It’s making its own matter displacement field!”

“... or that…” the Doctor said.

“And it’s more than a spaceship! ” Debra said excitedly.

The Doctor looked down at Debra in shock. “What?”

“It… OhMyGOD! It’s a time machine too!”

The Doctor nodded. “Right…” He shook his head. “But how you figured that out even with your magic eyes is beyond me.”

Debra grinned sheepishly at the Doctor. “I had to study and read a lot to figure out what I was seeing.” She nodded towards the center of the room. “That device in the center seems to create wormholes…” Something caught Debra’s eye as she stared at the plethora of buttons, switches, and levers and she began rambling. “Oh my gosh! And that panel over there a looks like it’s for a quantum destabilizer!” Debra let out a another girly shriek and pointed. “That one over there is for rearranging quarks!”

Amy pointed at one of the chairs on the platform as Debra continued rattling off what the various buttons and levers on the consoles did. “This… This is just a chair, right?” Amy inquired. “I can… I can just sit on this without being zapped or teleported or something right?”

The Doctor grinned and nodded. “Oh, go on then. Just don’t touch any buttons or you’re liable to send us all to Pompeii right around 79 AD!”

Amy collapsed into the chair and wrapped her arms around herself as she cast a frightful look at all the buttons and levers around her.

Debra stepped forward as she looked around and up the entire area of the circular room. “It… It can travel through time and relative dimension in space! That’s amazing!”

The Doctor quickly did a 180.

“Doctor?” Debra called out in a concerned tone. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing attall …” The Doctor said as desperately hid what would go down in history as one of the universes goofiest grins of all of time and existence.

Amy suddenly shot up to her feet. “MY CAR! IT WAS OUTSIDE THE WAREHOUSE WHEN IT COLLAPSED!”

Debra sighed and shook her head. “Oh, who cares about that?! We’re on a real spaceship slash time machine! Don’t you want to check it out?”

Amy turned and regarding Debra with a massive smile. “NO!” she answered in a chipper tone.

“… Killjoy…” Debra uttered.

The Doctor chuckled and took a few steps up to the central console. “It’s called the TARDIS.”

Debra stopped and thought for a moment. “That’s… that’s brilliant!”

The Doctor turned, favoring Debra with a giant grin. “I know, right?!”

Amy looked back and forth between the pair with an impatient expression on her face. “Can I please go check on my car so I can leave you two to geek-out or make-out or whatever it is you’re planning to do?”

Debra’s cheeks turned bright red as the Doctor turned towards the center console.

“Right,” the Doctor said. “We just need to shift over a bit…” he hit a few buttons, flipped a switch, and grabbed a leaver. “Aaaaaaaand shift!”

The TARDIS hummed as a familiar whooshing sound was heard, the sound quickly stopped as the Doctor walked past Debra and opened the double white doors.

“There we are!” The Doctor said. “Car intact, just a little dusty!”

Amy shot out past the Doctor and Debra. “OH THANK GOD!” she cried as she threw herself at the car’s hood. She began to rub her face against it despite the dust she was getting all over herself. “You understand me, right?! You’d never take me to a warehouse full of killer alien bugs or try to take me into space or places with erupting volcanoes!” Amy got onto her knees and stared at one of the tires. “Wheels! Yes! You’ll never leave the ground! Oh I’m gonna kiss all of you!”

Debra chuckled and shook her head as she watched Amy from inside the TARDIS.

“Right, well…” The Doctor began. He nodded towards the doors. “You better go outside so we can say goodbye.”

Debra felt her heart break into a million pieces on the spot. “I… oh… okay…” she said in a tone almost completely devoid of energy.

Debra took what felt like the hardest steps of her life. It was as if each foot suddenly weighed thousands of pounds and each step was suddenly an inhuman struggle of incredible strength and effort. Despite all that, Debra found herself back outside in the sunlight all too soon.

“Mwuah! MWUAH!” Amy shot upwards, her face and lips caked with dust. “I just kissed my tires… What has my life become?!”

Debra felt the Doctor step behind her. The Doctor raised his hand and waved. “Goodbye, Amy! It was… acceptable meeting you!”

Amy nodded and wiped an arm across her lips. “Goodbye… erm… Doctor. It was… strange… meeting you…”

The Doctor nodded. “I get that a lot.”

“I bet you do.”

Debra took a deep breath and turned to face the Doctor. She was mere inches away from him and had to crane her neck upwards to stare him in his piercing blue eyes. She felt as if her legs would give out at any moment, but somehow pulled herself together enough to speak. “I… I… I know I’m a klutz…”

The Doctor nodded. “That good. I’d be a bit worried if you hadn’t figured that out about yourself yet.”

“I know I’m a klutz,” Debra repeated. “I trip over my own feet. I screw up all the time… Things just fall apart around me.”

“Uh… right…” The Doctor replied as he attempted to telegraph to Debra with his expression that he wasn’t quite sure how he should react to what she was telling him.

“I know I screwed up in there, and I’m sorry, okay! And… and I’ll probably-no, definitely screw up again, but I can help you!” Debra felt tears roll down her cheeks again. “I just… I just want to do something useful for a change!”

The Doctor gave Debra a serious look. “I meant what I said earlier. I can’t always be there to hold your hand.”

“I know that! But… but…”

“It’s really dangerous to be around me,” the Doctor continued. “Like… dangerous on a level you’ve never even imagined before. Just… just imagine brief bits of calm here and there punctuating by hours and days of running for your life all while screaming until your lungs give out.”

“Okay, but…”

“I can’t be there for you all the time, Debra,” the Doctor said. “It. Just. Won’t. Happen. Right?”

“Ri--right…” Debra bit her lower lip as it began to quiver. She felt heavy sobs well up in her chest.

The Doctor furrowed his brow and looked down at her. “Right… Okay, enough with the sad girl routine already!” The Doctor nodded in the direction of Amm. “Go say goodbye to your cousin and let’s get out of here before the police start showing up and asking obnoxious questions.”

For one brief moment, nothing made any sense whatsoever to Debra and her eyes drifted further apart than usual as she lost all control over them. The next thing she lost control of was her jaw muscles as she felt a soul crushing weight suddenly evaporate into nothingness. She let loose a high pitched, girly scream of delight as she turned towards Amy, ran towards the car, and tripped sprawling herself against the hood with a ‘THUD!’ and an “Ooof!”

Amy jumped slightly and looked downward. “… Debra?” she asked in a concerned tone.

Debra quickly scrambled to her feet and reached for one of Amy’s hands. She squeezed it and began shaking Amy’s arm up and down.

“I’MGOINGTOGOONASPACESHIP!”

“Yeah, great,” Amy replied monotone.

“I’MGOINGTOGETTOTIMETRAVEL!”

“Super.”

“I’MGOINGTOSEETHEUNIVERSE!”

“I’m happy for you…”

“I’MGOINGTOFINALLYDOSOMETHINGWITHMYLIFE!”

“Debra, you’re hurting my arm.”

“OH!” Debra said as she stopped shaking Amy’s arm. “Sorry.” She gave Amy a serious look. “Don’t try to talk me out of this!”

Amy held up a hand. “Wasn’t even going to try.”

“Because I am absolutely doing this!”

“Yeah, I got that. Thanks.”

“There is no way you could convince me otherwise.”

“I think you missed my previous statement.”

“I’m leaving with the Doctor and that’s final!”

“Again, not trying to stop you.”

Debra frowned slightly. “Okay… but… but you’ll miss me”— Debra gave Amy a hopeful look— “right?”

Emotion finally cracked through Amy’s emotionless expression. She smiled. “Oooooh, come here you!”

Debra and Amy wrapped their arms around each other and shared a tight embrace.

“You will come back to visit, won’t you?” Amy asked.

Debra pulled away slightly and looked at the Doctor. “Uh…”

The Doctor smiled. “Not to worry, luv! You’ll hardly know she’s gone!”

“Oh right,” Amy said as she broke the hug with Debra. “Time machine…”

The Doctor chuckled as Debra giddily half-skipped, half-stumbled back towards him. “That’s right, we’ll be back before you know it,” he said.

Amy winced. “Please tell me you didn’t mean that literally!”

The Doctor smiled and shook his head. “Sorry! I can’t make that promise.”

Amy’s shoulders slumped forward.

Debra grabbed the Doctor’s hand and began to shake it up and down. “Can we go?! Can we?! Can we?! Canwe?! Go! We! Can?! Can—”

“Alright, already!” the Doctor said with a grin. “Easy on the hand there. They’re usually not easy to get back if something happens to them.”

“Yay!” Debra cried as she disappeared into the TARDIS.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, stepped in after Debra, and closed the door behind him.

Amy opened the driver's seat to her car and collapsed into it. She let out a relieved sigh. “I’m going to go home… I’m going to start a hot bath… And then I’m going to soak in it… forever.”

-ooo-

The Doctor grabbed Debra’s hand and walked her over onto the central platform. After gently lowering her onto a seat, he smiled widely and clapped his hand. “Alright! We can travel anywhere! We can travel anytime! We can watch the universe begin with a BANG! Or watch it end with a whimper! And we can even go anywhere and everywhere in between! Anything! Name it, and we’re there!”

Debra looked up at the Doctor with her big, daisy colored eyes that sparkled with joy. Her lips curled outwards and upwards, causing her smile to grow wider, and wider until it was bigger than it had ever been in her entire life. With that sparkle in her eyes and that massive, dazzling smile on her face, she spoke.

“Can we go back to my apartment?”

“... Riiiiight… Excuse me, but ‘wut’?”

Part 1: The Doctor is in: Epilogue

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Part 2 A Dazzling Beginning: Chapter 5 Wild Wild Dress

The Destroyer and Her Doctor

Part 2 A Dazzling Beginning

Chapter 5 Wild Wild Dress

Dearest Heart crinkled her nose as she looked at the screen in front of her. “Well, that was unexpected. Subtle but unexpected…”

“Yes, I caught it, too,” The Doctor replied. “It must be a residual effect of the D.Q.P.T. for anyone who comes into contact with our counterparts. The machine starts picking up their thought waves and suddenly we’re treated to what they’re doing even if the alternative you and I aren’t around.”

Dearest Heart trotted over to a chalkboard that was filled with numbers, letters, and any number of symbols that filled the entire board. She closed one eye and stared intently at the board.

“Need any help, dearest?”

“No, no,” Dearest Heart replied. “I got this.”

“Okay, well… you know you could always get the kids in here to untie me and I could probably be more help!”

Dearest Heart opened her eye again and turned with a mischievous smile on her face. The Doctor was still tied in place to a hospital bed that was sitting at a diagonal angle. “You're doing fine there, honey.”

The Doctor shot Dearest Heart an unamused look. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Dearest Heart unfurled her wings and held the tips close to each other to signify ‘a little bit’, then turned back to the equation. She closed one eye again and stared at it briefly. “There it is!” Dearest Heart said as she pointed with a forehoof. “Some slight… room for variances in the dimensional viewing equation.”

“Just say D.V.E!” The Doctor exclaimed.

Dearest Heart rolled her eyes. “You and your acronyms.”

“Yes, I refer to that as Y.A.Y.A.”

“An-eee-waaaaays, there is some bleed over from the tracer. I guess we lucked out that the wavelength particle computa—” Dearest Heart sighed “—The W.P.C.M.—”

“I love you,” the Doctor said.

“— translated the extra data without a hitch.” Dearest Heart paused for a moment, turned, and smiled. “And I love you, too.”

“Awww…” The Doctor replied in an affectionate tone.

Dearest Heart’s mischievous smile returned. “But I’m still leaving you tied up.”

The Doctor shot Dearest Heart a slightly miffed glare. “Awww!”

-ooo-

In stark contrast to the relative calm the TARDIS had enjoyed its last few trips, the latest one was currently a bit bumpier, louder, and involving quite a bit more sparks and fire. The likely culprit in this case seemed to be a yellow piece of luggage that was lying on top of one of the TARDIS’s center consoles along with a number of colorful cloth cohorts in the shape of women’s clothing.

Klaxons blared, red light flashed, and bright, dangerous flashes of fire and sparks flew out from the TARDIS’s control consoles as The Doctor quickly grabbed the luggage case and tossed it to the ground. The Doctor circled the consoles, pressed buttons, turned dials, and flipped switches all while removing clothes and tossing them behind him. In contrast to the haste he did this in, the Doctor seemed remarkably calm. This would also be in stark contrast to the other individual occupying the TARDIS.

“Sorry!-Sorry!-Sorry!-Sorry!-Sorry!” Debra repeated as she desperately attempted to keep her balance as the TARDIS pitched and yawed.

“It’s fine!” The Doctor shouted. “Just sit down before—”

The TARDIS suddenly began to roll slightly.

“Sor-AH!” Debra fell downwards, her face suddenly getting up close and personal with one of her skirts with a ‘THUD!’

“—Before THAT happens!” The Doctor cried as he ran to the opposite end of the consoles. He snatched a pair of gray panties from the console, grabbed a lever with his free hand, and pulled on it hard.

The TARDIS lurched one more time as the alarms quieted, the lights switched off, and the fires and sparks abated.

“Phew…” The Doctor wiped his brow with the item in his hand moments before he realized exactly what he was holding. He glanced away from the panties in his hand and casually tossed them behind him before his eyes landed back on Debra.

Debra merely lied amidst her scattered clothing, face-up on the chrome metal floor of the TARDIS. Seemingly dazed by what had just happened, or possibly content to simply lie on the floor less the act of her standing cause another catastrophe, she made no effort to stand up. In fact, only her eyes moved to find the Doctor as he stood above her.

Once eye contact was made the Doctor nodded towards Debra, specifically to something under her waistline. His message delivered, the Doctor broke eye contact and examined the high ceiling of the TARDIS.

Debra craned her head up slightly to see her miniskirt might have been a poor choice given the position she found herself in. She quickly scrambled into a sitting position and forced her skirt down. “I’m sorry!”

“Awww, no worries,” The Doctor said cheerfully. “I mean… After that whole thing back at your apartment, I’ve already seen—”

“Not that,” Debra replied as she shook her head. She stood up and looked down at the floor. Her cheeks burned crimson as she continued, “I mean… I tripped and threw an entire luggage case at the control center of a space ship slash time machine! I could have sent us both into a heart of a star… or a black hole even… and-and… I’m sorry!”

The Doctor said nothing. He instead walked with deliberate steps up to Debra who flinched and continued to look down as the Doctor was suddenly right in front of her.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then Debra felt a hand on the top of her head. She looked up.

Hand still on her head, the Doctor regarded Debra with a blank expression for a moment. He suddenly smiled. “Don’t you worry about that! I mean… I suppose it’s possible you can accidently send the TARDIS somewhere that would destroy it and unfortunately us with it, but the ol’ girl can take quite the beating.” The Doctor glanced up briefly. “Plus the chances of that happening are so astronomical I might even need an abacus to help me figure out the odds there. I mean…space is really, really ginormous.”

Debra chuckled. “Is that the scientific term for it?”

The Doctor nodded. “Oh, clearly. Space is just gargantuanand mostly filled with empty…” The Doctor frowned as he trailed off slightly, “…space.”

Debra nodded. “Okay, but I still clobbered your control console there.”

The Doctor lifted his hand off Debra’s hand and walked over to the center of the TARDIS. “Oh, I’ve hit it much harder than that. Believe you me.” The Doctor smiled as he gave one of the consoles a loving pat. “The occasional intentional or incidental act of aggression helps remind the TARDIS who’s supposed to be in charge.”

“So we’re… just out in the middle of space somewhere?”

The Doctor took a few steps to look at one of the TARDIS’s displays, a display which had a gray bra hanging off a corner.

“Actually—”

Debra practically dove for the bra, nabbed it, and went for the floor with an “Ahh!”

‘THUD!’

“—we’re still on earth.”

Debra rose to her feet, rubbing her forehead. “Ugh… So... What…? We just changed places?”

The Doctor shook his head. “No, we’re in a different time, too.” He turned to Debra and smiled. “Want to go outside and see where and when we are?”

Debra simply blinked a few times before responding. “You don’t want to check where we are using the instruments or anything?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” The Doctor asked as he grabbed Debra’s hand. He walked towards the door at a rapid pace, dragging Debra behind him as she attempted to keep up. “One of the best part of traveling like this is the joy of piecing together where we ended up,” the Doctor said as he threw open the door.

The Doctor and Debra were met with a sunny sky over a dusty dirt road and side of a windowless wooden building.

The Doctor looked left and right. “Okay, a deserted alley. Not a bad place for the TARDIS to sit quietly while we scope out our surroundings,” the Doctor said as he turned and closed the TARDIS doors.

Debra frowned slightly as she stared at the blue police box sitting against another wooden building in between two stacks of unused lumber. She nodded at the TARDIS. “Aren’t you afraid someone is going to come down here and see it?”

“Naw,” the Doctor replied. “It’s not like anyone but me can get in, and besides, when most people see a strange blue box as they’re walking about, they just scratch their heads and ignore it.”

Debra chuckled. “If you say so.”

“Oh, I do say so, indeed!” The Doctor replied. He grabbed Debra’s hand and started walking at a rapid pace. “Come on.”

“Wha!” Debra exclaimed as she was once again pulled along by the Doctor.

The two soon found themselves out of the alley and staring into a bustling unpaved street filled with horse-drawn carriages, men in dark suits with wide-brimmed hats, and women wearing dresses or long-sleeved shirts and skirts that went well past their feet and dragged on the ground and holding parasols. Single and two-story buildings of wood, brick, and adobe lined the street as people came and went all directions.

“Oh my gosh!” Debra exclaimed. She turned to the Doctor with an excited, happy smile on her face. “I think we’re in the Wild West! Oh this is so cool!”

The left side of the Doctor’s lips pulled into a frown. “I just hope we don’t run into any cyborgs.”

“Uh… Why would we run into any cyborgs in the Wild West?”

The Doctor shook his head. “It’s not important. Well, shall we ask someone where we are and what year it is?”

Debra raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a little bit embarrassing? I mean… I’m sure we can find a newspaper or something.”

The Doctor shrugged. “Sometimes I find a newspaper, but often I just walk up and ask.”

“You just ask what year it is?!”

The Doctor shrugged. “Well, after all this time I have learned to be subtle.”

Debra gave the Doctor a sideways smirk. “Do tell.”

“Oh, you know… You just saunter up to someone, stand right by them, and casually ask—”

“Well you’ve got my attention. How much?” a gruff voice asked.

“—how much? Wait, what?”

Debra and the Doctor turned to face a man with close cropped hair and a goatee wearing a gray scarf, unbuttoned brown jacket over a grey shirt, brown denim jeans, and a brown cowboy hat. A belt with a pair of brown handled silver six shooters hung around his waist. The man took a break from leering at Debra’s bare legs to look at the Doctor. “How much is the girl?”

“What?!” Debra cried. “I’m not for sale!”

The man cocked his head as his features tightened. “Well I’m not buyin’ you lock-stock-and-barrel. But how much is an hour?”

“I’m not a prostitute!” Debra exclaimed.

“Well, this is awkward,” The Doctor commented.

Debra grit her teeth. “Oh, I’m sure it’s much worse for me.”

“Come on!” The man said. “You’re tellin’ me you just decided to walk around like that and you’re not tryin’ to drive up some business? Don’t tell me you just walked out the door without remembering to put pants on. I mean… It happens to the best of us, but—”

Debra sighed. “LOOK! I’m just… underdressed for the occasion… or period of time…”

The man furrowed his brow as he stared at Debra, his eyes lingering on her own for a second. “Wait… Is this hagglin’?” The man asked. “I mean, if you want to haggle, I think I should get a discount ‘cause of those messed up eye—”

“Why Jayne Cobb,” stately voice called out, “you ol’ rapscallion. Up to your old tricks of hassling the good people of Albuquerque?”

The man named Jayne let out a sigh as two men approached. The man who addressed him had short, dark hair under a black cowboy hat and a smart, modest mustache and soul patch. He was dressed in a long black coat over a white shirt, black pants, and black boots. Two pearl handles to a pair of revolvers stuck out from underneath his coat.

The other man sported a much larger but no less well-kempt mustache that reached down a bit past the ends of his lips. From his hat to his boots, he was dressed almost completely in black, also with a black hat and buttoned coat. Only a white shirt peeked out from under the jacket and a black tie.

The Doctor’s face lit up. “We have a city!”

Debra massaged her temples. “Still trying to get over being confused for a prostitute, thanks,” she said glumly.

The man named ‘Jayne’ turned to face the two interlopers. “Just trying to help local business.”

“No he wasn’t,” Debra said through clenched teeth. “I’m not for sale.”

The man with the bushy mustache spoke, “Why don’t you leave these two alone? I’m sure you can find more receptive girls at one of the local brothels.”

Debra groaned and covered her face. “This isn’t as much fun as you promised,” she said to the Doctor.

“Don’t worry,” the Doctor said as a leaned closer to Debra, “it’ll get better.”

Jayne scowled at the two men. “You know I have a gun for the each of you.”

The first man gave Jayne a faux concerned look as he began to absentmindedly finger one of his pearl handles of a revolver. “Why, Jayne. Are you threatening two men of the law?”

The other man shook his head, chuckled and looked at the first man. “Can’t believe you said that with a straight face.”

The first man grinned. “Why my dear Wyatt, with devotion’s visage and pious action we do sugar o’er the devil himself.”

Debra and the Doctor’s eyes suddenly lit up at the name ‘Wyatt’.

“Forget it Jayne,” Wyatt said. “You know Doc would burn you down by the time you got your hands on those pistols. You best move along now.”

Jayne let out a frustrated moan and turned. “Frickin’ marshals ,” he uttered as he walked off.

‘Doc’ smiled at Debra and the Doctor. “I do apologize for Jayne. He’s... well… I guess he’s just something of a troublemaker.”

Debra said nothing, instead opting to stare at Doc with wide eyes full of joy and wonder.

The Doctor glanced at Debra then chuckled as he turned towards ‘Doc’. “Well, no harm done.”

Debra shook her head and shot a miffed glare at the Doctor. “Speak for yourself! That was not a super-great experience for me, thank-you-very-much!” Debra exclaimed. She turned to look at Holliday and Wyatt. “Thanks for getting him to leave though! He was creeping me out…”

‘Doc’ smiled. “Think nothing of it. Mrs....?”

Debra gave Doc a slightly surprised smile. “Miss,” she corrected. “Miss Hart. Debra Hart.”

‘Doc’ tipped his hat. “Doctor. Doctor Holliday. John Henry Holliday.”

“I KNOW!” Debra said excitedly. “You’re Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp! Oh this is so cool!”

Holliday chuckled and turned to the man in black. “Well, Wyatt, it seems our reputation has preceded us.”

Wyatt tipped his hat towards Debra. “It seems it has.”

The Doctor looked at Debra with a smile. “I told you it’d get better.” He turned and extended a hand to the two gentlemen, each one taking it in turn. “‘ello. The. The Doctor. Doctor The Doctor.”

The two men stared at the Doctor blankly.

“You can call me ‘Doctor’.”

Wyatt raised an eyebrow. “Just… ‘Doctor’?”

Debra giggled. “Trust me, it’ll go a lot faster if you just go along.” She turned to the Doctor. “Oh-my-gosh! I can’t believe I get to meet the Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp. We’re really in the late 1800’s!”

Doc and Wyatt exchanged a pair of confused glances.

“Forgive Debra,” the Doctor said. “She’s read all about you.”

Wyatt frowned. “Well don’t believe everything you read in the papers, Ms. Debra. They’re a bit fond of publishing unsubstantiated rumors.”

“And slander,” Doc added with a raised index finger. “Best not forget the slander.”

Wyatt shook his head. “Would if I could, Doc.”

“So!” The Doctor began. “It feels very… 1880ish to me. What do you gentlemen think?” the Doctor turned to Debra and grinned. “Early 1880s, perhaps?”

Debra buried her face in her hands.

Holliday and Wyatt exchanged yet another confused glance. This one with a touch of concern.

Holliday turned to face the pair again. “It’s the year of our Lord 1882. April 26th if you needed the day.”

“See!” the Doctor said to Debra with a beaming smile. “The year, and date!” he said in a proud tone.

Debra removed her hands. “How was that subtle?!” she groaned out.

The Doctor folded his arms across his chest and looked up towards the sky. “Alright, Miss Picky. Next time you can figure out what year it is!”

“Are you two… alright?” Wyatt asked.

“Just capital,” the Doctor replied. “Why do you ask?”

Holliday gave the Doctor a blank look. “Where does one even begin?”

Wyatt nodded towards Debra. “Well for starters, you look like you’ve been the recipient of some rough treatment, ma’am.”

The Doctor and Debra looked at each other blankly before smiles crossed their faces.

“Hehe, they must think—”

“My bruises!” Debra said as she pointed at her face.

The Doctor nodded and pointed as well. “Your bruises!”

The Doctor and Debra turned back to face Holliday and Wyatt.

Debra waved a hand about dismissively. “I fall down a lot.”

The Doctor nodded. “Oh my, yes!”

“Just like… all the time!”

“It’s really extraordinary!”

“Sometimes it’s just a few steps then, pow, I’m on the ground!”

The Doctor’s expression turned serious. “Yes. ‘Pow!’ It’s quite alarming, really.”

Debra’s expression suddenly matched the Doctor’s. “It really is!”

“She could seriously hurt herself!”

“Oh my gosh! You have no idea!”

“Poor thing is lucky she hasn’t broken any bones!”

“It’s true! It’s so painfully true!”

Holliday and Wyatt stared at the Doctor and Debra, turned to stare at each other, then turned back to stare at the Doctor and Debra.

“Well, we won’t keep you,” Wyatt said.

“Right,” Holliday said, “you two enjoy your stay in Albuquerque, now.”

“Oh, we will!” the Doctor assured.

“Totally!” Debra chimed in.

Wyatt nodded. “If you don’t mind me saying, ma’am. You should consider getting a longer skirt. It’ll keep the local undesirables from giving you too much grief.”

Debra let out a startled squeak and thrust her hands in front of her legs.

“Right o’,” the Doctor replied. “We’ll get right on that.”

With a tip of their hats, Doc and Wyatt turned and walked away into the busy street.

The Doctor turned towards Debra with a smile and pointed. “Well how’s that for a first trip? Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp.”

“Shhhh!” Debra said as she closed her eyes. “Hold my hand.”

“Uh… right.” The Doctor did as instructed.

“What do you think, Doc?” Wyatt asked amidst the sounds of the busy avenue.

“I think those two should be committed to the nearest asylum post-haste.”

“They’re talking about us,” Debra said. “Doc Holliday thinks we’re crazy.”

“Well, he’s sure got our number,” the Doctor said. “Wait, you can hear them?”

“Yes! Shhh!”

Wyatt spoke again, “Don’t you think they were laying it on a bit thick? They seemed a bit more clever than they looked.”

“Wyatt thinks we’re faking. That we’re smarter than we look.”

The Doctor nodded. “He’s also got our number.”

Holliday replied, “Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. It’s far more likely that brit and his underdressed companion are fresh off the train.”

“Doc thinks we’re new in town.”

“Wow, they are a sharp pair.”

Debra clenched her eyelids tightly and craned her head. It was getting harder to distinguish Holliday and Wyatt’s voice from the others in town and hear them over the sound of horseshoes clopping and people going about their business.

Wyatt continued, “So… You don’t think they’re to blame?”

“As strange as our rendezvous with the pair was, I don’t think they’re cold-blooded killers. Believe me, I know cold-blooded and killing. Those two don’t look like they have the stomach for what we’ve seen.”

“There’s apparently a killer on the loose,” Debra said.

“Oh?!” The Doctor said in an excited tone. “I love a good murder mystery! What else do they say?”

Debra tiled her head even further.

“Good point,” Wyatt replied. “As peculiar as those two are, guess they don’t look like the type to slice someone up and set them on fire. We should—” Wyatt’s voice was suddenly cut off by the sound of a passing carriage.

“The killer seems to slice up and burn the victims, and uh…” Debra shut her eyelids until they shook. “I… I can’t make out their voices anymore.” She opened her eyes. “They’re too far. Sorry.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Sorry nothing, that was amazing! How’d you do that?”

Debra smiled. “Well, my eyes are so screwed up, I’ve tried to sharpen my other senses and sort of drowned out the distractions and focus on one thing. You know… kinda like Daredevil.” Debra frowned. “Except I’m utterly incapable of fighting crime. With my eyes closed, I just trip less but bump into things a lot more.”

“Well maybe we should get you a cane, but that still sounds brilliant…” The Doctor paused for a moment. “Hold on, why’d you need me to hold your hand, then?”

“Uh… Pressure point!”

The Doctor gave Debra a skeptical look. “There’s no pressure point in the human hand that would—”

“HEY!” Debra exclaimed with a little too much excitement. “Let’s find a dress or a long skirt. I’d kinda like to walk around town without being stared at or accosted by strangers!”

The Doctor motioned towards where they came. “I’ve got period pieces from all over back in the TARDIS. I’m sure you can find a dress or something that’ll fit you.” The Doctor gave Debra a knowing look as if he predicted what she’d say next. “And no. They aren’t from one of my former guests.”

Debra chuckled. “Alright, lead the waAH!” Debra yelped as the Doctor suddenly yanked her hand.

-ooo-

“Well aren’t you just pretty as a picture of something pretty!” The Doctor commented as Debra stepped out of the TARDIS. She now wore a flowing gown of silver layers that had yellow buttons in the front opened around her collarbone with gold frills. A silver brimmed hat with a yellow bow adorned Debra’s head as she held a yellow parasol with white frills.

Debra giggled. “Thanks! What are you doing out here?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Just seeing if any murderers walk by or any murders take place in my immediate vicinity.” The Doctor frowned. “Preferably not my own.”

Debra smirked. “You really want someone to be murdered right in front of you?”

“Well, I don’t want that to happen…” The Doctor scrunched his lips slightly. “But it’s the sort of thing that happens with alarming regularity.”

Debra stared at the Doctor a moment. “Geez! You really do live a life of scary adventure. Well let’s—” Debra took a step forward, her foot catching on her flowing dress. She immediately took a dive for the unpaved alleyway.

‘THUMP!’

The Doctor rushed to Debra’s side. “Debra, are you alright?”

“I’wm fiwn!” Debra said from underneath her parasol. She made no effort to lift herself or her face off the ground. “I’wve juwst dishidewd Iw liff herff nowf.”

“Now what kind of talk is that?” the Doctor asked as he grabbed the parasol and brought Debra up to her feet. He smiled wryly. “Guess there’s more hand holding in your future.”

Debra favored the Doctor with a sheepish smile as she whipped dirt away from her face in lips. The Doctor handed her the parasol. She took it and regarded it for a second. “You know, this thing might kill me… I could trip and then suddenly there’s a pretty umbrella sticking through my neck.”

“Well, I guess I better hold on tight then,” the Doctor said as he began walking with Debra’s hand in his own, this time at a much slower pace than the last few jaunts. “Now then,” the Doctor continued as he and Debra stepped back out into the busy thoroughfare and turned to walk next to the buildings, “keep your eyes out for anything out of the ordinary or anything out of place.”

Debra frowned. “That’s a pretty big list considering what I know about you.”

The Doctor pulled his lips to the left side of his face and bobbed his head left and right. “Well, on the plus side with me, whatever we’re looking for should stick out like a sore thumb, and-Oh, hello!” The Doctor said as his face lit up.

Debra and the Doctor stopped walking as men dressed in suits and as cowboys spilled out of a wooden saloon. At the front of this group was Jayne who let loose a right haymaker into the face of a much nicer dressed gentleman. Another well-dressed man jumped on Jayne’s back before Jayne shrugged him off and turned to face him. Soon the street was filled with the sounds of men shouting punctuated by those same men letting their fists do the talking.

The Doctor grinned. “That’ll do…”

Debra frowned. “Well… it’s a pretty serious-looking bar fight, but I don’t see what—”

“Shhh.” The Doctor hushed softly. “I’m listening.”

“Uh… To what?”

The Doctor tilted an ear upward. “It’s like… singing sort of like a small chorus of girls going ‘ooooOOOOOOooooh, OOOOOoooooOOOoh…’ Got a tinge of psychic energy to it.” The Doctor tilted his further head slightly. “Something that makes people more open to suggestion… and aggressive and irritable I think.”

“Whoa!” Debra exclaimed as her eyes narrowed. “You can hear psychic energy?! What the heck! That is just so unfair!”

The Doctor nodded. “Definitely more aggressive and irritable.” The Doctor tugged at Debra’s hand and led her across the street. “Let’s try to get a closer look.” The Doctor frowned as he and Debra approached the massive kerfuffle. “Perhaps there’s a back or side door.”

The Doctor expertly sidestepped brawling men and dodged misdirected punches all while pulling Debra behind him. Debra let out the occasional “Whoa!” or startled “Wha!” but maintained her balance as the Doctor navigating them both through the melee without either coming to harm.

Soon Debra and the Doctor where behind the saloon, in between it and a brick building as they stared up at a door above a small staircase that was facing away from them.

“There we go!” The Doctor said as he walked around to the side of the staircase, still holding Debra’s hand. “Now we just—!”

‘THUD!’

The door suddenly flew open and out ran a woman with orange curly hair with a yellow stripe through it that was tied up into a massive ponytail almost the size of the woman herself. She wore a black choker with a shining red gem around her neck, a dark purple dress with pink trim that showed off her cleavage, bare shoulder and arms and went down past blood red boots that kicked out from underneath it. She paused momentarily to stare at the Doctor and Debra with magenta eyes, giving them both a seductive smile and a wink before lifting up her dress and gracefully gliding down the stairs.

She was followed by a woman with large, long purple twin ponytails with aqua stripes which looked to be tied up with large metal star headpieces. She also wore a red gem around her neck in addition to a teal-and-purple dress that covered just about everything from the woman’s neck down. Her dress also went past her boots, black and covered in silver studs. She paused to scowl with lavender eyes at the Doctor and Debra as if she was sizing them both up before she turned and ran down the stairs with the speed and ease of a dangerous predator.

A third woman also came out the door. Her light-blue hair with a pair of dark-blue highlights was tied up in a single ponytail that first went up above her head before falling down all the way to her waist. In addition to the gem choker, she wore a dress that was held closed with silver clasps over a dark purple top which left her arms exposed. The purple top gave way to cascading lengths of pink fabric around the woman’s waist that went down to black boots covered with leather straps and small leather pouches. She paused to look at Debra and the Doctor with bright lilac eyes and give them both a happy, if off-kilter smile before she descended the stairs with all the elegance of a morbidly obese man who had just decided to go on a bender.

All three woman took off away from the stairs and down the alley away from the Doctor and Debra.

Debra stared at the three women with wide, surprised eyes. “What the heck was—”

“Come on!” the Doctor exclaimed.

“—AH!”

The Doctor suddenly broke into a sprint as he followed the girls and dragged Debra along who desperately did her best to keep up.

“HOLD IT!” a commanding voice boomed out.

Debra turned to see Wyatt fly out onto the stairs followed by Doc Holliday. Wyatt’s right eye was brushed and starting to turn blue. Blood was pouring down Holliday’s nose, turning his mustache crimson. Holliday stared down the alleyway before quickly reaching for one of his pearled handles. “Cover your ears, Wyatt.”

“Oh, hell,” Wyatt uttered as he placed his hands over his ears

“GUN!” Debra shouted.

The Doctor turned then quickly stopped. He pulled Debra into a cross alley and held her close.

‘BANG!’

The gunshot echoed off the buildings in the alley and the Doctor and Debra could hear something wiz by them.

The Doctor and Debra peeked out. Wyatt removed his hands from around his ears as Holliday looked down the alley with a quiet intensity.

The three women had stopped and turned to face Holliday and Wyatt as an orange tuft gently floated to the ground.

The Doctor suddenly rushed back out into the center of the alley. “Was that really necessary?!” he shouted at Holliday.

Holliday wiped at the blood that was flowing from his nose. His white shirt had already been stained with the blood dripping out his nose. Hey let out a few rasping coughs before answering the Doctor, “Sorry, Doctor. I’m afraid I didn’t feel like running.”

The Doctor glared at Holliday wand waved an accusing finger at him. “That’s no reason to fire a gun at three unarmed women!”

A series of sinister clicks suddenly sounded out from behind the Doctor.

“Uh… Doctor…?” Debra called out in a concerned tone.

The Doctor turned. The woman in the twin ponytails held a pair of black handled revolvers in either hand and pointed them down the street up at Holliday and Wyatt. The blue haired woman had produced a short-barrel shot-gun from somewhere and also pointed it down the street. The woman with the orange hair looked at her companions, sighed, and reached into her cleavage. She produced a small silver pistol and aimed it at the two men.

“Ooooooh, bugger…” The Doctor uttered. As he dove back towards the relative safety of the cross alley, a hailstorm of deadly bullets filled the alleyway.

Part 2 A Dazzling Beginning: Chapter 6 It's Just One of Those Days

The Destroyer and Her Doctor

Part 2 A Dazzling Beginning

Chapter 6 It's Just One of Those Days

Adventure and danger are often two sides to the same coin. Perhaps this is why human beings have a tendency to seek out activities that, while controlled, do come with a certain degree of risk. A risk that those participating could meet injury or even death. People indulge in mountain climbing, parachuting, SCUBA diving, and any number of other things that could invite disaster if proper care isn’t taken.

Risk adds an element of excitement to any outing and even simply traveling to new places always carries a certain degree of understood risk. While usually this isn’t expected to be dangerous outright, the very act of going to a new environment full of unknown qualities leaves open the possibility for any number of unexpected outcomes.

In Debra’s case, these unexpected outcomes happened to take the form of bullets and projectiles that flew past her as she and the Doctor took shelter in an alley. The cross alley they had occupied just moments before had suddenly exploded into a melee of violence and dust as bullets and pellets tore through wood, slammed into brick, and kicked dirt into the air.

Seeking cover behind the staircase and its box-like supports, Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp peeked out to exchange gunfire with the three unexpected combatants a ways down.

Holliday peeked out from around the stairs, fired a round each from his six shooters then quickly ducked back behind cover as a hail of pellets ate into the wooden planks that made up the stairs. “The hell did that girl get a street sweeper from?!” he exclaimed as he cocked back the hammers on his guns.

Wyatt quickly stood up above the stairs, and fired a shot from his revolver before ducking again as bullets flew overhead. “I’d like to know why all three of those girls are packing.”

Holliday raised an eyebrow. “These are dangerous times when the multitude of armed people has encouraged the fairer sex to seek protection of a reliable firearm.” He made a quick peek around the stairs, then pulled his head back as a few bullets slammed into the wooden planks before he quickly returned fire while keeping his head out of sight. His forehead tightened as if he mulled over his own statement. “I suppose this is something of a chicken and egg dilemma that warrants further exploration.”

“Forget that!” Wyatt shouted as he stuck his gun up above the stairs and fired a couple rounds. “I’m more concerned with the three women who are trying to kill us right now.” A few rounds slammed into the top platform of the stairs as Wyatt retracted his hand.

Holliday gave Wyatt a scrutinizing look. “Perhaps if you took at least the bare minimum of time to see where you were shooting, we’d be faring better.”

Wyatt’s bushy brows framed a scowl as he stared at Holliday. “I’m a little torn over the idea of gunning down a woman!”

“They did fire on us,” Holliday pointed out.

“You shot first!”

“Only so they’d cease their retreat,” Holliday retorted. He wiped at the blood on his face. “And they drew first blood.” He peeked around the corner before pulling back and letting a couple more bullets fly.

“So you’d really be okay with putting a bullet in a woman?”

Holliday dwelled on this for just a moment. “Depends on the woman, I suppose. I already have acquired quite the list of Hell-worthy transgressions. I’m not sure one more would—”

Another loud boom roared out and the top platform of the stairs exploded into a rain of splinters that fell on Holliday and Wyatt.

Holliday coughed and wiped wood fragments off of his clothing. “Perhaps now is not the best time for a nuanced discussion on morality,” he mused.

A few buildings down the way, two of the three women were engaged in their own discussion.

“This is not subtle, Aria!” the woman with the orange hair cried as she held a small double-barreled pistol in her right hand and stood with her back against a brick wall.

Aria crouched low by the edge of the wall and flung a tuft of her purple hair behind her. She quickly peeked out and fired off a round each from both her black-handled six shooters. “Those two are marshals, Adagio, and they were way more interested in questioning us than dealing with that huge fight we caused! Do you have any ideas that didn’t involve me beating the snot out of them?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Adagio began in a sarcastic tone. “Maybe we could have controlled them into leaving us alone or even doing our bidding instead of you lashing out and forcing us all to improvise!”

Across the alley, the blue-haired woman peeked out with her shotgun, exclaimed an excited “Wheeeeeeee!” and let loose another blast of pellets in the direction of Holliday and Wyatt.

Aria nodded at the blue-haired woman. “Well Sonata is having fun!”

“Sonata has just as much fun on a rocking horse!” Adagio countered. “Don’t change the subject!”

Aria glanced around the corner and fired a couple more rounds before turning to glare at Adagio. “If you wanted subtle, why’d you set us up as dancers, anyway?”

“I’m sorry,” Adagio replied in a disingenuous tone. “Where you not just complaining the other day about a lack of getting a decent amount of energy?!”

“Ugh… whatever!” Aria replied. “Just help us shoot at these guys!”

Adagio frowned. “I’m down to my last derringer.”

“Well maybe if you carried guns that held more than two rounds instead of strapping those midget pistols to yourself, you wouldn’t have that problem.”

Adagio sneered at Aria. “Oh? And how much ammo do you have left?”

Aria narrowed her eyes, peeked out, pointed her pistols, and pulled the triggers. Her hammers hit empty chambers.

“Hah!” Adagio cried out derisively.

Aria tossed a glare up at Adagio and looked across the alley. “Sonata!”

“WHEEEEEEEEE!”

‘BLAM!’

“SONATA!”

“What?!” Sonata asked as she ducked for cover behind her adobe wall.

“Toss me some more ammo!” Aria called out.

Sonata looked at Aria as if she had just asked what year it was. “Wow, you’re stupid! My big shells aren’t going to fit in your guns! Besides! I only have one left, and it’s mine!” she said as she reloaded her shotgun.

“Not a shotgun shell, you idiot! Toss me ammo for my guns! Adagio’s too!”

“Why the heck would I have ammo for your guns?!”

Adagio scowled out at Sonata. “Because we talked about this and filled all your pouches with extra bullets!”

“OOOOOOoooooh!” Sonata said. “So that’s why there were bullets in my pouches!”

“Yes! So…” Adagio thought for a moment. “Wait, ‘were’?!”

Aria sighed. “Here we go.”

Sonata nodded, crouched, and opened one of her boot pouches. “I filled them all with penny candy!” she said with a smile as she took out a piece of candy.

Adagio smacked a hand against her face.

Aria glared daggers at Sonata. “Hey Sonata, you remember that one shell you have left? I thought of the perfect way you can use it!”

In the cross alley, the Doctor and Debra continued to wait things out.

“Is it always like this?!” Debra exclaimed.

“Naw, naw,” the Doctor replied. “Often times its laser fire or there’s something counting down to when me and everyone around me might die! Or you know… an alien or aliens that might kill everyone.”

“Grrrrreeeeeaaaat…” Debra uttered.

“Oh cheer up,” The Doctor said. “The nice thing about guns of this time is—”

“How’s yer ammo count lookin’, Doc?” Wyatt asked.

Holliday frowned. “I’m about to start hitting empty chambers here.”

Wyatt nodded. “Same. I wasn’t packing for a shootout.”

Holliday tilted an ear upward. “On that note, it’s gotten awfully quiet over there.”

“You don’t think…”

Holliday holstered one of his pistols, took off his hat with his free hand, and placed it over his other pistol. He dangled the hat past the staircase.

‘BLAM!’

His hat hit the ground full of tiny holes.

“No Wyatt, I do not,” Holliday answered dryly.

“Awww!” Sonata called out. “That was my last shell and I only killed a hat!”

“Sonata!” Adagio screamed. “Don’t just tell people who are shooting at you when out you’re out of ammo!”

Holliday raised his eyebrows. “But I do now.”

“Oye! You lot done shooting at each other?!”

“NEVER!” Aria and Sonata cried in unison.

“SHUT IT YOU TWO!” Adagio cried. “YES!” she replied to the Doctor.

Wyatt peeked out to see the Doctor standing in the middle of the alley as the dust settled. “What’s that damn fool think he’s doing?”

Holliday also took a look. “Oh, I believe that’s an old British tradition of standing out in the open during a battle. You’d think they’d have learned a thing or two since the revolution…”

The Doctor continued, “Why don’t you all just come out here and we can talk this over without trying to kill each other?”

“NO DEAL!” Aria and Sonata cried.

“SHUT! IT!” Adagio commanded. “We don’t want any trouble-and-don’t-you-two-say-anything! We just want to go in peace!”

“The hell you do!” Wyatt yelled from behind his cover. “We just tried to talk to you three and that wildcat with the purple hair sucker punched us!”

“Hehe… yeah…” Aria uttered in a pleased tone.

“Technically she kicked one of you!” Sonata added.

“OH MY GOD!” Adagio cried. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TWO WON’T SHUT UP!”

Debra peeked out into the alley at the Doctor. “Is it safe?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes. They’re done shooting and are now forced to use the far less dangerous tactic of shouting.”

Debra ran out from the cross alley and threw her arms around the Doctor as she tossed a glance at the marshals and then another at the girls that had embattled them. Looking up at the Doctor, she said, “You seem remarkably calm about the situation.”

The Doctor nodded. “I’ve gotten used to being shot at.” He looked back and forth between the two groups still peeking out from behind their hiding places. “Alright! Why don’t we all start by coming out without pointing guns at each other? Come on! Don’t be shy…”

Cautiously, both parties left the safety of their cover and stepped out into the alleyway.

“Right, right,” the Doctor said. “There you go! Now if you all could come just a little bit closer.”

Adagio narrowed her eyes. “Why? So we’re easier to shoot?!”

“You wound me, ma’am!” Holliday called out. “Slandering such outstanding gentlemen such as ourselves by suggesting we’d gun down women in the street!”

Adagio pointed to a bit of her hair that was slightly singed. “The only thing wounded here is my hair!”

Holliday whipped at the dried blood on his face. “I beg to differ!”

Aria grinned. “I’m fine with getting closer.”

Sonata undid the bottom clasp of her dress exposing a knife handle that she drummed her fingers against. “Ohhhh, yes…” she purred.

“Doctor, I think we’re all close enough!” Wyatt shouted.

The Doctor sighed and shook his head. “Right, so we’ll all just yell at eachother…”

Debra cupped her hands around her mouth. “What is this all about!? Why’d you all start shooting?!”

“We just wanted to talk things over!” Wyatt insisted. “And then that one with the purple ponytails lashed out at us as soon as we were in range!”

“You two invaded my personal space!” Aria called out.

“Yeah!” Sonata called out. “Only I’m allowed to do that!”

Aria turned to shot a glare at Sonata.

“Oh! And Adagio!”

Aria pursed her lips and tightened her forehead as she stared out in front of her with an irate expression.

“Especially Adagio!” Sonata added cheerfully.

The Doctor spoke up, “Why’d you go up to the girls in the first place?!”

“You didn’t see what we did, Doctor!” Wyatt called out. “Those three were just singin’ and dancin’ while the entire saloon was in a violent uproar.”

Holliday chimed in, “And they had a look about them like they were doing the devil’s work! And believe me, I know that look!”

The Doctor lowered his eyes thoughtfully and turned towards the girls, paying close attention to the gems around their necks. “I see…”

Aria recoiled slightly, “I don’t think this is going well, Dagi…”

Adagio grinned wickedly. “Don’t worry. Looks like the cavalry is here.”

“HEY!” a masculine voice called out.

‘BANG!’

Debra let out a startled yelp and buried her head in the Doctor’s chest. Everyone else turned as Jayne Cobb strolled into the alley. One gun pointed in the air and the other drawn on Holliday.

The Doctor rose his right hand up and pressed his fingertips against his forehead. “Just what we need, more guns.”

“Ya’ll leave those three alone!” Jayne ordered he advanced on Holliday and Wyatt. He cocked the gun he had pointed at the sky and pointed it at Wyatt. “And keep those hands where I can see ‘em.”

Holliday sighed and raised his hands up to his chest, palms forward. “Oh hell, it’s going to be one of those days.”

“Jayne?!” Wyatt called out as he too raised his hands. “You don’t want to do this.”

Jayne smiled wildly. “Oh, I reckon I do!”

The Doctor tilted an ear up. “There it is again…”

Debra pulled her head out from the Doctor’s chest just enough to look up. “There what is?”

“That psychic mind control music…” His forehead tightened he reached into his pocket to pull out his sonic screwdriver. “There’s a lot more to those girls than exotic hair and pretty faces.”

Debra pursed her lips and let out a jealous growl.

“Stay here!” The Doctor said as he detached himself from Debra and began walking up to the three men. “I better do something before someone gets killed.”

Debra frowned heavily. “Killed?! Well,what about you?!”

The Doctor kept walking and waved a dismissive hand in the air. “I’ll be fine! All things considered, I have a pretty good track record of not being shot when guns are pointed at me!” He reached into his coat and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

“Hey!” Jayne called out as the Doctor came closer. “Whatchya think yer doin’? What’s that in your hand?!”

“Oh this?” The Doctor asked as he held up his sonic screwdriver. “It’s harmless! Just a little tool I always keep handy. Don’t worry about it! I just want to talk!” the Doctor insisted as he walked past Holliday and Wyatt.

“Stop right there!” Jayne commanded as he pointed a gun at the Doctor and kept the other trained on Holliday. “You make any sudden movements or take one more step closer and I’ll gun ya down like a dog, ya hear?”

The Doctor stopped. “Now, there’s no need for—”

“RUN GIRLS!” Adagio shouted.

The Doctor turned as Adagio and Aria made a run for it. Sonata made a quick dash for Debra, gathered her into her arms, and began running after the other two girls.

“HEY!” Debra shouted. “Doctor! HEEEEEEELP!”

“Debra!” The Doctor took a step back down the alley. “HEY! YOU THREE—”

‘BANG!’

A bullet impacted the ground at the Doctor’s feet. He stopped dead in his tracks.

“I said, hold it!”

Holliday glanced at the Doctor. “This all part of your strategy, Doctor?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Not the part where those women absconded with my companion, but I can get us out of this. You two just have to promise not to kill that man.”

Jayne chuckled darkly. “I don’t think they’ll have a problem keeping that promise.”

Holliday looked at the Doctor once more. “He does have us at something of an disadvantage here.”

“Just promise me you won’t kill this man!”

Holliday frowned. “I don’t make it a habit of making promises I don’t—”

“Doooooc!” Wyatt uttered in an irritated tone.

“Fine then,” Holliday said. “If you can somehow defuse this situation, I suppose I can keep my pistols holstered.”

Jayne shook his head. “How do ya figure yer gonna get me to put my pistols down before there’s a smokin’ hole in all of you?”

“There’s three of us, Jayne,” Wyatt said in a warning tone. “You really think you’re fast enough to gun us all down before one of us draws a bead on you?”

“That’s why the two Doctors go first,” Jayne said. “I know Holliday has a bit of a rep for being quick on the draw.”

Holliday sighed. “Well it must have slipped my mind that it’s my birthday today,” he said sarcastically.

“No need for that,” The Doctor said to Jayne. “I just need you to keep an eye on the tool in my hand.”

Jayne narrowed his eyes. “Hasn’t left my sight since you stepped up. You try something funny with you’ll have to figure out how to keep flabbin’ that smart mouth with one less heart.”

The Doctor chuckled. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Oh and funny like this?” The Doctor said as he pressed his thumb against the sonic screwdriver. The tip of the sonic screwdriver glowed blue as the whole thing came alive with a ‘bzzzzzzzzzzz’

‘Click. Click.’

Before Jayne could pull the triggers on his pistols, the hammers suddenly uncocked—

“Now Doc!” Wyatt shouted.

— and before Jayne could cock his pistols, Wyatt and the Holliday where on top of him wrestling him to the ground.

The Doctor turned and ran back down the alley, running all the way until he was once again in an open, busy street.

“DOCTOR!”

The Doctor turned and peered past the people walking about the street. He spotted the three women each mount a horse with their legs pointed over one side, Debra draped across the back of the horse Sonata had gotten onto.

“DEBRA! I’M COMING!”

The three girls quickly pointed their horses towards another alley. Debra let out a surprised yelp and held on for dear life as the horse she was on started galloping.

The Doctor broke into a sprint after them, weaving past people and dodging carriages as he went. Soon he was running down another alley following a trail of dust and Debra’s frantic screams.

‘THUD!’

Something big and heavy suddenly landed in front of the Doctor, stopping his pursuit.

The Doctor frowned as he looked over the unexpected obstacle. A tall figure glared at him with fiery red eyes set in a face with pointed features. He wore a chrome horned helmet, or perhaps a helmet build to fit around horns, a dark cloak over a smooth, black body suit and brandished metallic claws as he looked over the Doctor. Whatever it was grinned, exposing sharp teeth as it let out an animalistic chuckle.

The Doctor sighed. “I take it it’s going to be one of those days?”

Part 2 A Dazzling Beggining Chapter 7 Time Lady Justice

“Oi!” The Doctor said in his most terrible British voice. “Stop right there!”

“Y-yes?!” the fire breathing reptilian gaunt ‘human’ like creature with a faint… almost scale like shean to it’s skin asked as the stern tone of the command somehow got him to stop at an instinctive level. It swallowed the fire it seemed intent on breathing on its target and began to tentatively eye the couple meter high wooden fence behind it that it had just cleared in a single bound.

“You’re a far way from home, eh? Izorelie is on a whole ‘nother branch of the Milky Way.” The Doctor smirked. “So you know what this is?” he asked as he waved around his sonic screwdriver.

A blue-shining, wiring silver device practically appeared in the doctor's hand and the being suddenly crumbled into a ball, staring at it near complete terror. It then took a moment to puff itself up and attempt speech, seemingly hoping it could intimidate the much smaller Doctor. “Time- Time Lady… Yoa-you have no authority-“

“Time Lady?” The Doctor asked with a slight frown that gave way to a curious interest. “Time LORD.”

The entity known as Spring-Heeled Jack suddenly stood up to its full height. “Wait you don’t… Are you not the Time Lady Justice?”

The Doctor’s face tightened. “You got the wrong gender, but have you actually seen or heard of another Gallifreyian running around? Hopefully, they’re righting wrongs and not causing them... or are you just extraordinarily bad at identifying sex of other species?”

Spring-Heeled Jack smiled breathed out a bit of blue fire that curled up around its mouth and gave the air a scorched smell to it. “They all look the same hacked to bits and burned to a crisp.”

“Charming…” The Doctor quipped dryly as he tightened his grip on his sonic screwdriver. He probably should have just played along to get the fire breathing, leaping, claw-equipped creature to surrender quietly rather than attempt a struggle. He had come up on top of countless more intense fights than a 1v1 with an Izorelian, but that didn’t mean he was LOOKING for a fight with something that could spit blue flames and give him some impressive scratches.

The Doctor tilted his head a bit as a peculiar, high pitched sound cut through the air on a frequency much higher pitched than what a human could hear. He was about to ask his would-be attacker if he head it, but said Izorelian stopped preparing the blast of flame it was working on and attempted a different strategy of screaming, amd clawing at its sharp teeth as if they were no longer fireproof which, the Doctor mused, not likely the case, but blimey, what bad timing that would be.

‘CRACK!’

“MOTHER FUCKING CAN’T SORT OUT HIS OWN ALIEN BULLSHIT TIMELORD-BREAK RIDING TOKYO DRYFT PRETTY BOY ASSHOLE!”

Ah, timing! Ha-ha. The Doctor thought to himself dryly. It seemed he was, in fact, not the only known surviving humanoid from the planet Gallifrey as he was currently staring at woman with a slightly tanned complexion, deep ocean blue hair that went snow-white near her bangs. Her eyes, which were now directed at the doctor, where likewise a deep, deep blue. Both in terms of color and the things they had supposedly seen.

She certainly wasn’t human and carried herself with the air of someone who had seen a lot of shite. Also, she was preemptively mad at the Doctor even though, to his recollection, he had never met this woman. This almost always meant she had met him before but hopefully meant they weren’t married. Time-traveling relations where often completely devoid of linear structure, which the Doctor accepted, but this particular woman seemed very hot-headed. Not a quality he was unused to in a companion, but not something one wanted to be blindsided by.

Other notes, except for her 20th to 21st century garb of a doctor’s white coat over a tasteful, yet flattering fitting grey blouse and matching mini skirt, which didn’t match the current styles…

She had appeared out of seemingly nowhere and was standing on the neck of a being several feet taller than her, which was still breathing, but clearly in quite a bit of pain from the aforementioned neck pressure and other potential pain from the high pitched tone that was emanating from somewhere in this supposed Time Lady's coat.

The Doctor thought for a moment as he struggled to figure out the proper response to someone he was meeting for the first time from his perspective, but who had decided to be a royal ‘c’ word to him out of the gate which he may or may not have deserved.

As no immediate illuminating wisdom of how to deal with an issue rather specific to time travelers and licensed psychiatrists, he elected to fall back to a tried and true method of ‘being a cheeky git’. “‘ello, luv. Rough day at the office, was it?”

The unknown Time Lady wrinkled her nose and lips so she resembled a rather slagged off bunny. “Every day, week, month, year, century, millennium is a ROUGH one with you! You limey-loving, obnoxious anglophile!”

“Oi’, no need to get personal Miss…?” The Doctor mentally prepared himself for equal parts amusement and vexation. Asking for someone’s name that you have no reasonable way of knowing while from their perspective you should basically have it tattoos on one’s brain matter was always good for an over the top reaction.

“Minuette!” The Time Lady all but screamed. “OR, Time Lady Justice, if you want to get formal!” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Let’s not get formal. I don’t want to call you Time Lord Victorious.”

Huh. ‘Time Lord Victorious’. He rather liked the sound of that… grandiose thing that it was… Asking where the name came from and explaining he had never met Minuette nor had he met Time Lady Justice in her current form or any other would have been her next step, but before the conversation could continue, ‘Spring-Heeled Jack’ made his move.

It wasn’t much of a move, however. He simply reached a clawed hand around one of the knee-high, black leather boots which looked both trendy and expensive by earth standards. Before Spring-Heeled Jack could pull Minuette off, she looked down into the slightly reptilian eyes, seemingly transfixing them in place with an intense gaze of her own and said in a reverberating voice, ‘Suffer…’

The Doctor watched as the hapless creature’s expression twisted into one of complete agony, yet the rest of its body went completely limp even as it increased it’s breathing rhythm.

The Doctor cringed. That clinched it. That was 100% the reaction of someone who had lived a long time and expected to live longer yet. The scary thing was that from everything the Doctor had just witnessed, Minuette seemed the patient type in regards to how his seemingly-less-extinct-than-expected species usually behaved. “Well, that seemed excessive. How’s it work?” The Doctor asked.

The woman’s angry expression was suddenly cut into a smile like a scythe had just been cut across her face and she was the one doing the reaping. “The ‘forever Time Hell’ thing?” She asked coyly as she produced a golden chain from her white doctor’s coat. At the end of that golden chain was a series of spheres, and in the middle of an hourglass with bleached white sands that poured like a tiny waterfall forever contained in glass. She flicked it and at once the spheres began to spin and rotate and a golden pulse as if time itself hadn’t begun until the little sands at the center of her little personal time turner hadn’t begun to turn. Her eyes suddenly glossed over and her smile softened. “It’s just a thing I do start now and have done from the beginning of all existence.” She shifted her weight slightly and the being behind her let out a gurgle as if its soul was leaving its body.

Again, 100% certifiable Time Lord/Lady reaction.“Hey!” The Doctor protested as he looked down at the hapless alien who had just lost its life to the hilariously undersized doctor with a grey miniskirt and matching form-hugging blouse who placed the golden item into her jacket. “Time Lady or not, you can’t just run around executing everyone who looks at you sideways.”

Minuette smirked at the Doctor, or rather Time Lady Justice did. The frustration and anger had now been completely replaced with a haughty look and the air of someone who possibly COULD freely kill anyone who looked at them sideways, get away with it, and sleep very well assuming they needed sleep.

“Hello? Time Lady Justice?” the Time Lady said as if the title, well… justified the action, and given said title it was quite likely she was the universe authority on what was right and just unless someone tried to stop her. “Besides, I’m cleaning up your mess!” she insisted. “It takes a toll on a developing species psyche to deal with aliens when they don’t even have flight figured out yet…”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Well, blame me if you want, but I got a companion to rescue so, I’m hoping you have more than a shovel to cover up this one.”

Lady Justice smirked in response. “Well, it’s funny how time and perception work, Ten… Can I call you Ten?” A shimmering deep blue and golden energy surrounded both woman and ‘alien’ it’s long, deadly frame began to compact and fill out, pushing against the expensive black button-up shirt, ‘tie’ composing of a length of braided black string with expensive flattened turquoise stone against the end. “The locals will quickly run out of any sort of credible evidence to find a culprit to the disappearances and the papers will compare the two equally credible theories of Spring-Heeled Jack on the run from the British Government and a traveling group of gypsies whisking off the girls for ‘unspeakable deeds’.” She took a step forward and whispered to The Doctor in a tone that was again Minuette’s, same voice with much less gravitas and haughtiness than ‘Time Lady Justice’s tone, “As far as I know these ‘gypsies’ are luring away girls and men for ‘unspeakable’ deeds, but the type of deeds that leaves one alive, satisfied, and maybe just in need of a priest and hangover treatment”

The Doctor rubbed his eyes slightly took a deep breath. Minuette might have been able to adjust to what felt like his entire world being destroyed and put back together, but this was all new to him. He did a quick mental check. Still… a Time Lord. Good…. It’s okay… wild west times… after Debra who has been kidnapped and… “HEY!” He protested as a sense of Deja Vus hit. Something of an occupational hazard. “Time Lady or not, you can’t just—”

“Kill murderers and clean up your mess?” Time Lady Justice purred.

“Haha…”

The Doctor jumped back as the corpse, or rather, a portly, balding man with some facial scruff suddenly stood up. “Oh man… nice threads…” the man said as he reached into his own sun-bleached and mud battered leather jacket and somehow produced an entire, full bottle of amber liquids. “Oh, hey Doctor.” He uncorked the bottle. “Sorry, just getting rid of some aliens so the locals don’t freak out, find this species little cache of weapons, and accidentally kick start a technological revolution that destroys the planet.” He glanced at Lady Justice, “Hey, boss. Hey, uh… Mr. Hart.”

“Why is it I feel today is not a ‘questions answered’ sort of day…”? The Doctor begrudge, the new arrival taking no note of his dreary expression.

“Hey, Soos!” Lady Justice greeted as if she was seeing a cheery employee as both went for their daily morning coffee. “Oh! You should have a stack of papers on you. They concern the fate of literally everything!”

The Doctor frowned. “Are you doing that thing where people misuse the word ‘literally’.”

Minuette smirked. “I am literally using literally correctly in this context.”

The Doctor quickly mentally went through the process of being concerned about the scope of Minutte’s statement, irritated at her lackadaisical attitude, then accepting of the fact that this was probably what it was like to be around him.

“Hahaha! OH, right! I need both your signatures,” Soos said as he pulled out a white stack of stables papers that couldn’t possibly have come from humans in a wild west timeline.

“Wha—” Was all the Doctor could get out as the paper where forced in front of him by Lady Justice who produced her ‘time turner’ again, except this time it was a ballpoint pen and the end was still a series of spheres and an hourglass that was rotating and still giving the Doctor the distinct notion that a world was being created with every little turn. It was as if the universe itself began at the center of that little sphere and the Doctor, through meeting the Time Lady in front of him and both having brains full of memories of people who most have existed, and therefore must have as time raced to catch up with everyone and provide prospective between them so they could all exist, experience others, and also read stories where all of existence including themselves was created.

“Sign zee papers!” Time Lady Justice demanded in an oddly masculine tone. “I took the liberty of adding ‘more children’ to the conditions.”

The Doctor shacked his head in disbelief as Soos just laughed. “That’s okay, dudes, you don’t have to do that!”

“I WANT MORE KIDS! Everyone involved in this affair should want more children after THAT hot, near multiverse consuming nonsense.” Minuette declared. “Oh! And a wife. Uh…” She scribbled something onto one of the pages on the papers. “Marble Pie! Er, if she’s single...”

The Doctor had seen… well, he thought he had seen everything, but not a portly man who-WAS-just-an-alien-until-a-minute-ago’s eyes roll back into his head with a bright white light for a moment. “Haha, she’s single, dude.”

“Really?!” Time Lady Justice exclaimed happily as she began to dance in place. “Okay! We’re going to have some adorable time babies together! Oh… like… let’s just say ‘two’ for now!”

“Haha, okay,” Soos turned and presented the pages. “Doctor?”

The Doctor began to protest but suddenly he was no longer outside talking to a Time Lady and a… Soos… He was at a TABLE. A NICE table with a tasteful black tablecloth over it and lit candle in a small bottle at the center like a fancy restaurant. To complement that motif he was now looking at a menu… of children?! Er… girls and boys vaguely described by attitude. Furthermore, the buildings and distant trees of the frontier city were gone, or rather replaced. Specifically, he was now indoors surrounded by many more tables, some occupied, furnished walls with tasteful photographs of cosmic bodies or beautiful scenes from planets across the universe. There was even a bar of considerable length and a wall behind the bar that was loaded with hundreds of different bottles.

Music was even playing with just enough volume that it could be heard over the din of the occupants as opposed to forcing everyone to shout at each other. If he didn’t have the lingering thought that he had someone to rescue nagging at him, despite having all the time in the universe, he might have ventured a drink.

“Come on! Debra’s waiting!” Time Lady Justice said impatiently.

The Doctor considered explaining he was thinking just that but instead opted to look around. There were millions of stories throughout time and space warning against Strangers appearing out of nowhere offering ‘too good to be true’ contracts. Some species assumed something spiritual was afoot where’s the Doctor knew it was often the work of something ‘alien’, but the distinction was often unimportant. This issue was more that for any being to fulfill a complicated wish such as ‘wife’ or ‘children’, there was often a terrible cost if done quickly or a very convoluted method to go about thing in which the universe didn’t come to a screeching and explosive end.

Probably.

“You’ll be wanting one of my many souls I keep in my jacket, then?” The Doctor asked.

“No, we’re Fucking with time.” Time Lady Justice suggested with a smirk and far away smile that screamed with seemingly countless entities behind the eyes who were powerless to stop it. “Yes. I’m sure this sounds like bribery to you, but your wife sends her regards and really needs you to sign the papers so you can two can finalize your unmarriage.”

Several thoughts drifted through the Doctor’s brain and then menu and papers where grabbed in nearly an instance as well as his sonic screwdriver again which, oddly enough, had its own ballpoint pen attachment. See, that was the difference between a ‘deal with the (alien) devil’ and ‘agreeing to terms that require X amount of tasks to be fulfilled and everyone, in theory, gets what they want because we’re that good at time travel.’ The first usually involves giving up things one takes for granted, freedom, free will, JOY, for a twisted version of what they asked for. The Second is basically getting paid VERY well for a job you’ve technically been doing already, are about to do, and have possibly have already completed.

Between all parties involved, the papers were looked over and signed as if three people with all the time in all of existence had places to be and had done this countless times before.

Soos dumped some of the liquid from the open bottle he had on the written papers then produced a box of matches. After a few embarrassing ‘first’ tries, the seemingly awkward, yet comfortable in his own skin man had got the documents on fire. The burned away with speed in defiance of physics that almost claimed the papers as they were dropped to the table. A fire broke out across the table, eating it and then spreading to the floor, other tables, and tasteful decor of the establishment.

The Doctor blinked once and he was staring at ‘Time Lady Justice’.

Soos had clearly passed out in a heap… no… he was…

The Doctor titled his head. Soos eyes were open, but lifeless and the bottle empty. His skin was pale and the veins bulging against the thinner edges of skin as if what was inside was poison.

Time Jady Justice clicked her tongue. “All these disappearances AND the town drunk goes and drinks himself to death… Sheriff is not gonna like this…” She laughed to herself, bent down, pulled the turquoise tie off the corpse and put a gold store on the corpse. “No wait. This will be funnier.” She said as she pulled out her time turner and give it another tap.

The Doctor felt another wave of creation hit him and then… he was simply staring at Minuette who had clearly taken the time to pick up a time souvenir on her way to save the Doctor from his homicidal fire-breathing unhuman attacker who was also the sheriff of this little town…

Oh, and also a bunch of what seemed like very important time stuff like him just contractually agreeing to saving all of everything for the price of one happy smile from anyone he so pleased, and three… no FOUR beautiful children… Wait, could he order more? Well, it was a ‘restaurant’ that specialized in children. Of course, he could also order more… Oh, and a series of rescued wife(s)… that would come to him here, there… and well… These things never did play out linearly for a Time Lord or Lady…. Anyhow, that was all something he wasn’t about to forget.

Minuette delivered him the absolutely radiant smile and the follow-up statement, “You’re a bastard.”

“I hear that from time to time. Just had to be sure.”

Minuette shook her head as if clearing fog and the expression from it. “Alright, fair. Uh… There’s more than one of these things…” she said as he kicked the corpse.

“Soos?”

Minutte chortled. “There is no one like Soos.” Her eyes unfocused then suddenly came back into focus and then out of focus as if they were looking at everything all at once. “Oh MY GOD! HA! THAT WAS Amazing!” Much to the Doctors surprise Minutte smile became something far more personal and far more dark. “You better find Debra… Oh! And Tell Adagio to tell you ‘It has begun’ Next time she sees you.”

“Who is—” The Doctor sighed and shook his head. “Right, Time Travel Bullocks.” He’d find out… in time… He always did.

Minuette’s smile changed and at once she was Time Lady Justice. “Yep… War’s over… everyone lost… ” she said with a disturbing amount of dark mirth in her tone, as in any amount given the subject matter.

The Doctor tilted his head. “Lost and we’re…”

“Recreating worlds… settling down with families…” Time Lady Justice answered as she pulled out her time turner.

The Doctor chuckled. “Sounds like there are winners, then.”

“Only if you get a move on AND FIND YOUR KIDNAPPED COMPANION, JERK FACE!”

‘Jerk Face’ Don’t think I’ve been called that before… He sat the insult aside and again remembered he had a companion that had gone missing in his care to address.Cringing, he began to look around as if might just spot one of the girls milling about the quiet town right after they had fled it not a few minutes ago. “Right, thanks, I don’t suppose…”

“20 miles west in the west there’s a ‘mysterious mansion’ that looks like it was shaped from the woods around it rather than hewen.”

The Doctor sighed. “Right, so not humans then.”

Minuette let out a knowing laugh like the Doctor was in for a heap of unpleasant work. “No. Sirens.”

“… Bullocks.” Sirens where often old, powerful psychics, and nearly devoid of morals or ethics. There were THREE of them… Though, given what Minutte had mentioned it seemed Debra wasn’t in any MORTAL danger, but he wasn’t about to rest his laurels assuming the ‘broad daylight kidnapping’ was a simple misunderstanding.

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver, then depressed his thumb against the side. The twinkling blue light at the end extended upwards as a piercing sound vibrated out past the molecules of his body, the space around him, the planet, system galaxy until his Tardis parked a few yards away resonated with the device and began a familiar moan into visual and physical existence. The Doctor opened the door and poked his head inside as a thought occurred. It was him against three sirens with no realistic way of telling if Debra would be able to help out this time. He could use a little help and it was a good opportunity to get to know someone he was likely stuck with from now until the end of forever given. He turned. “Oh, I don’t suppose…”

He trailed off… an empty, sunset lit old wild west town devoid of people with an actual tumbleweed was all that was by to listen.

“Oh, hey dude. I forgot something!”

Doctor Who jumped. Oh, and the talking corpse.

Clearly more corpse than person, Soos had somehow reproduced the paperwork, a period-appropriate feathered quill already dipped in ink and began scribbling something. “Hey, Doc! Did you—”

“Four!” The Doctor said.

Soos laughed. “Hah! Watch out universes! There’s going to be a lot of ‘ying-yang’ babies out there. Okay!” He said as he scribbled through some pages, flipped to the end, and stabbed at the last page like dotting an eye. The act caused the paper to once again catch flame which liked out at Soos himself and returned him to a state of total death…

The Doctor craned his neck and peered into the alley. The ‘sheriff's’ cause of death would have to be either attributed to a cigarette lighting mishap or, ironically, Spring-Heeled Jack.

...Wait, Ying-Yang babies? What the Bloody Hell does th—

‘Crunch!’ “Oh, Hey!”

“Blimey!” The Doctor exclaimed as Minutte’s voice sounded out a few feet away from him INSIDE his Tardis. “Do you knock?!”

Time Lady Justice stood in front of the Doctor. Same coat, this time she was wearing an orange tank-top composed of tiny squares highlighted by a burnt orange color, blue jeans, her white doctors quote and knee-high black boots with golden straps and buckles. She was holding a box labeled ‘MARSHMALLOW Fruit Loops’ and eating them by the handful as if dental hygiene was a thing people should only really worry about a couple dimes a day for two to three minutes at a time. “No, not since becoming Time Lady Justice,” she answered simply. “Yeah, I’m taking this cereal box as payment.”

“Payment… For what?”

“For my help…”

“Oh…” The Doctors face lit up. “Oh! Brilliant!”

“Yeah, lots of people die without me,” Minuette said as she casually leaned back against the copper support of the Tardis room.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. That seemed unnecessarily cruel to tell him. Then again, his people would be celebrated bastards if they hadn’t mostly all died. “I’m not telling you where the mi—”

“So many…” Minutte whispered out cryptically.

The Doctor took a deep breath. “Alright! But I’m not telling you where the milk—”

“Moooo!”

The Doctor was once again torn from his thoughts as a white-and-black cow… a Belted Galloway if he wasn’t mistaken, complete with bell strolled up to Minuette as if the lady in front of him had hand raised the animal just to snub the doctor in this once instance. Worse yet, he had taken his eyes off the time lady for an instance and now the box was on his time temporal console and she was holding a gray cereal bowl and a spoon. She shoveled, now, wet cereal into her mouth. Chewed. Swallowed. “Soooooo many….”

The Doctor pointed at the cow. “I’m not cleaning up after that cow.”

“My name is Brie,” the cow answered in a snippy, feminine tone, “and I can clean up after myself, thank-you-very-much.”

The Doctor took a moment to take in the situation. “Right then…” he turned immediately towards the consul and began fiddling with knobs and hitting levers.

“Not going to question the cow?” Minuette asked.

“Minuette, I’m shocked you’d just insult your best friend like that!” The Doctor said as he reached over and swatted a lever.

Brie gasped. “Colgate! I thought we agreed you’d never call me that again!”

Minuette sighed, pulled out her time turner. “And I told you it was Minuette, Brie… OR SHALL I SAY, HARUKO!”

Surreal as the scene was, the Doctor took it all in stride as he watched it play out. He was clearly not the only Time Traveler on the block consisting of all known creation. Time Lords and Ladys had a lot of time to play elaborate jokes on each other and also acquired a great deal of friends, enemies, frenemies… some of which had their own tricks. This might very well just be how his life went on from this point on...

Brie’s eyes took on a terrified look as she stared at the item. “Wait! Let me in on this other deal! I know things didn’t go so well last time bu—”

Minuette let the item spin and the Doctor immediately felt like he had just been born… Born knowing he was the tenth incarnation of a doctor who had just agreed to life with a wife both somewhat known unknown to him three no four beautiful children.

“Your kids are going to be just as troublesome as you two!” Haruko/Brie said or seemingly VOWED as time adjusted and the universe saw fit to create itself with… Well, the place that was its center seemed as good as any… And…. Oh my… was that… two pairs that could potentially form the basis for an entire species, nay, DNA sequence that could explain every living being at least in a few universes until the laws of said universes made it a little less dangerous and the laws of many other universes made it a LOT more fun… let’s see… they’d need… OH, convenient, their minds already contained enough plenty of data…oh memories of others that must have existed ...best make them too, oh look some of them want to make more versions of themselves, have ancestors, myths, stories with beings universes in them, best start making those two.

The Haruko/Brie’s eyes rolled back into her head and she fell sideways and lifeless on the copper catwalks that served as a floor. The spirit/cow wouldn’t get to participate in the new universe, it seemed, but it would at least be a more effortsome path for those who ‘made the cut’.

The Doctor frowned and nodded his head in the direction of the cow. “That seemed a bit over the top for avoiding asking where the fridge was.”

Minuette shrugged and leaned over the council. “Whatever… I’m redecorating the Tardis.”

“Now Wait just one bleeding minute!” The Doctor said as he put on red-and-blue pair of white-rimmed glasses, glanced across his panel, and hit a button that was otherwise invisible to anyone one not currently looking at the radiation time spectrum currently ongoing the andromeda galaxy which technically wouldn’t be passing through four about 4 or 5 billion years but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t already here in one way or another. He found the proper bell, reached out for a hammer that was rudely snatched by Minuette who threw it across his console at the bell which rang.

“YOUR STUPID TARDIS LOOKS LIKE RUM DRUNK PIRATES TOOK A BREAK FROM BUGGERING EACH OTHER TO IMAGINE WHAT A ‘SUBMERSAIBLE BOAT POWERED BY STARDUST’ WOULD NEED TO BE STEERED, YOU MEGOLOMANIAC!”

The Doctor sneered and put his food down. “No! Look, I’m not going kick you out just yet, but you can’t just show up, cause a little interplanetary and causality murder than just invite yourself to redecorate the heart of MY Tardis. ”

Again, the Doctor felt a wave hit and a feeling like whatever he was seeing was the first time anyone had seen anything except his brain was likewise telling him that was silly as it distinctly remembered existing a few seconds before even if some feeling was also letting it know that was impossible. He looked around and gasped. The copper and metal and… really anything material of his control room was now gone, as was ‘Brie’. In fact, the central console was now replaced by a series of stars, swirling galaxies, nebulas, and squares full of paragraphs of words that drifted out from the yet where clearly being sucked into a super gravitational pull that originated from the new location of the now invisible bovine Brie/Haruko.

“Good, good…” Minuette said as she began flicking at squares that disappeared, and shifted into different holographic menus.

The Doctor stomped his foot as the black void that seemed to go out forever took on a strangely…. Cosmically organic… like stardust coalescing to form what looked like a… burning purple cardiovascular system with a black hole sucking in the lot of it.

To his great surprise, the center of the Tardis looked much like a black hole while The Doctor himself seemed to be standing on a beam of light that originated from himself.

Minuette/Lady Justice cast neither light nor dark, but instead an expressionless bipedal creature of swirling base elements and gleaming lights that stood ‘underneath’ her like a mirror version of herself cast in the reflective floor. Wings in the form of lines of metal, flesh, wood, air, fire, water, light, dark, stone, magma, ice, stars etc… extended out and away in an arc of unknown length that seemingly englobed everyone in the Tardis with worlds stretching out into infinity.

“Hmmm… Not ‘Time Lord Default’, honestly you’re energy is so pure in this mode it’s kind of pissing me off. Haven’t you like… committed a few genocides?”

The Doctor sneered at Minuette. “They were necessary!”

Lady Justice smirked back. “They always are.”

The Doctor balked just long enough for the entirety of his world to be replaced by polished steel, the color of a love so pure and innocent that the unexpected shock of it all knocked both him and Minuette of his feat.

Minuette laughed nervously, raised a hand up, then balled her hand into a fist and brought it down on a spiral galaxy that responded with a brief increase glow, doubling of the comforting, love fleeing, then a return to normalcy.

“Call from my girlfriend!” Minuette giggled drunkenly as she picked herself off the floor… which was somehow now more bounce then empty space as new galaxies exploded into existence forming a comfortable sectional couch that housed the pair and created a universe that would contain a planet that would correctly deduce the golden ration from the pulsating feeling that is the curve between Minutte’s thighs as she lounged on the comfortable spread of cosmic creation.

None of this was particularly important to the Doctor, but any being that can also decorate with emotional feelings and impressions usually did. Which is one of the reasons he tried to avoid this navigational mode. HE could pull himself away from these seemingly random thoughts, but others might find themselves lost there. Still, that was more than just a simple scenery change.

“What kind of ‘phone’ did you leave on earth?!” The Doctor cried. The center of his ‘Tardis Room’ now a far less otherworldly color of off-gray gunmetal with plenty of knobs and buttons as well as a few holographic and functional screens.

“The good kind!” Lady Justice replied in a voice that was ever so briefly two women talking.

“It was like every bleeding cute baby creature in existence was condense into ray and weaponized…” The Doctor mused wondering how many species would pay handsomely for that ‘drug’ and others would consider it sexual assault… He managed enough sense to look over his new readout. The Doctor grinned at the more mechanical interaction devices but sneered at the touch screens. “I don’t like ‘em…”

“Well, they make things easier to run!” Lady Justice explained as she swiped at a few more screens and music filledthe tiny universes like they never before…

The Doctor shot his counterpart the most contemptuous of sneers that all of time had known up until that point. “Look, it’s too ‘disconnected’ from everything.” The doctor exclaimed.

“Technically it’s connected to everything,” Minutte replied. She placed her hands on her hips. “Look, do you want babies, and also my help now or when I have to rescue the last humans from the radiation golems?!”

The Doctor let out one more helpless sigh. “Okay, but no more killing!”

“I, personally, will not kill anyone!” Lady Justice as her deep blue eyes made a rotation around her eye sockets.

The Doctor took a deep breath and shook his head. Anyone who tended to deal with a lot of ‘binding’ documents to the various unseen laws of the cosmo was usually quick to agree to verbal terms… with language that still allowed them plenty of freedom to get what they wanted. “Not good enough!” He narrowed his eyes and pointed an accusing finger. “Look, what was your Time Lady title BEFORE Justice
?” He shook his head.

Minuette narrowed her eyes as if she resented the question, she responded in a distinctly ‘Lady Justice’ tone, “Given the nature of Time Travel, one could say it’s ALWAYS been that.”

The Doctor scoffed. “No really… No one with as much power as you uses it to… for loving relationships and create bovines to win arguments if they were born with it…”He smirked. “People who had to work to get noticed and figure out how to be quirky and interesting so they stand out and they continue to do that when they acquire or even earn that much power.”

Minuette hesitated for a moment, then replied with, “I… I was a Dentist, alright?”

The Doctor recoiled. “Naw, it’s rubbish.”

“I can’t help what I did before my planet was unmade from creation!”

“No, I mean your new name! Old one’s much scarier!” The Doctor insisted on earning him a death glare from being across from him as he flashed the girl his pearly whites as if they were ready for inspection. “I’d much rather be fighting ‘Lady Justice’ then, ‘The Dentist’.”

Minutte closed her eyes flipped a palm upwards. “‘The Dentist’ makes me sound like some sort of tooth themed mad scientist with tooth-shaped robots or something equally asinine!”

“Asinine like not really agreeing to not kill anyone where you’re basically an immortal time Goddess?”

Minuette tossed her hand into the air. “Three of the things we’re going to face are at least immortal!”

“But not time goddesses,” The Doctor pointed out. “For all intensive purposes, you and I are still in a whole ‘nother league compared to most things. Maybe, it’s not too late to focus on your dental skills over some mad murder spree delivered by finger flicks against a tiny time engine.”

Minutte took a bit to think about the Doctor said, however, it was a bit of silence that seemingly just gave her enough time to spin herself into a tizzy of a tantrum. AS the self prescribed ‘Time Lady Justice' responded with, “WELL YOUR AMAZING, REALITY BENDING BUBBLE-SHIP JUST TRAVELED A WHOPPING 3 SECONDS TO THE PAST AND 20 MILES TO THE WEST!” in lieu of anything that would continue the conversation. This all much closer to the tone of an angry sister then an immortal being as she swatted at the screen and the device began to moan and wail as the material it was crafted from began to bend and warp through all of spacetime, past wonders not yet born of stardust, and long dead star gasses slowly collecting to live, burn bright, then die again… all to shift in a neat arc 20 miles west of its previous location.

The Doctor let out another sign. He wasn’t used to letting others touch any part of his ship. And it’d had been rarer and rarer for another Time Lord or Lady to see it since they all d—

The Doctor slowly reached for his sonic screwdriver the way a priest might reach for a cross that’s kept them feeling safe time after time. Minuette/Time Lady Justice had done a good job of convincing him she was who she claimed to be by virtue of her behaviour and actions, but HE had not put in any work to verify any of it for himself. Which was especially dangerous if he was going to be working with her. “Colgate—”

“Damnit, Doctor! I told you never call me that! Stupid Haruko!“

The Doctor chuckled. Minuette had never explicitly told him that from HIS perspective, but she acted like she did so perhaps... “She’s almost worse than those Cybermen who wiped out our—”

Minuette groaned. “Stop doing the ‘Are you a REAL Time Lady test at me! Why would you need to do that? We’ve seen each other… OH DAMMIT, IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE MET ME?!”

The Doctor smiled and shrugged. “Do ‘first’ times have any real meaning for time travelers?”

Minuette slumped her shoulders, stared up at the cold metal ceiling, and smacked a palm against her face. “That’s a convoluted way to say ‘yes’.”

“Right, so like… should we pick a safe word for all this ‘time buggering’ we’re supposedly going to be doing? You know, if things get a little too convoluted.”The Doctor asked with a smirk. “Hrm, I suppose it’s the fourth dimension itself that should give us a safe word. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll come up with one in due—”

Minuette grit her teeth.

“—process.”

Minuette cringed, “That bait in switch didn’t make any sense! Appropriate that it may be.”

“Oh, do you think the safe word issue is ‘time sensitive’?” The Doctor let out an exaggerated gasp. “No wait, maybe that should be the safe word. Well… phrase”

Lady Justice shot The Doctor an unpleasant look pulled out her sonic time spinner. Her eyes began to roll back in her head as beams of light shot out from the sides of the room and she quickly waved intricate symbols with her fingers. “Oh, by the beard of Zeus’s useless ass-father!”

The Doctor blinked his eyes a few times and just stared at Lady Justice. “I just looked into the future at the Fourteen million, six hundred and five times I try to have a good comeback for that.”

“And?”

Lady Justice responded by angrily flipping the Doctor with one hand and slappy the console one more time. “Time Sensitive is the funniest safe word I could come up with, too!”

With a cheeky smile the Doctor felt his body slip away and appear outside.

The first thing he took note of was Debra being ‘held hostage’ on a dimly lit deck by the three colorful showgirls who had nabbed her just a bit before the Doctors peculiar encounters with aliens, a time Lady, whatever everything ELSE was. Except she was simply standing on the balcony behind the girls with nary a weapon pointed her or rope keeping her restrained to anything. If anything, it looked more like she was outside to see what the commotion was about.

“Oh, hey Doctor!” Debra called out the, other girls seemingly perturbed her ability to take being held hostage seriously was lacking. “Hey! Can you help tell the townspeople were time travelers and not witches!”

“Oh, the witches have summoned their demon masters to rescue them from divine justice!” A tired-looking man in overall pointing at the Doctor and Lady Justice exclaimed.

Minuette threw her arms up in the air. “I’m the closest thing to divine justice you dim-witted, cow rustling HILL-BILLIES are ever going to meet!”

“Good thing I swapped out my buck-shot for salt and soaked my ammunition in holy water!” another voice added.

The Doctor quietly took stock of the situation. Debra seemed fine enough but clearly about half a dozen local town folk had responded to the earlier commotion, rounded up guns, torches and said guns where now aimed at both time traveling ‘medical’ professionals.

“Who the heck is that?!” Debra asked in an indignant tone. “I’ve been kidnapped for only a few hours and you go find another companion?!”

The Doctor cupped his hands around his mouth and replied. “She’s just a friend and something of a co-worker!” ‘Friend’ was maybe a stretch at this point, but the later felt true.

“Oh, Okay!” Debra replied. Seemingly satisfied.

“Is she single?” One of the girls up in the balcony asked, specifically the one with long purple hair.

“No!” Mineutte was quick to add.

“Oi!” The Doctor exclaimed. “Are you trying to hook-up during a tense stand-off?”

“All my best hook-ups happen at standoffs, ya yack!”

“Really?” The blue haired woman exclaimed. “See, all mine are people I sneak up on from the shadows!”

“Aria, Sonata! SHUT UP!” The siren with the curly hair commanded. “You can pick through my leftovers after I choose a few of the survivors!”

“Hell no!” Aria replied.

“Yeah, Adagio!” Sonata agreed. “We’re calling ‘dibs’, now!” she insisted. “You always pick ALL the survivors and we have to settle for sloppy seconds if we’re lucky!”

“Usually it’s filthy fifths!” Aria exclaimed. “You know the guys are totally spent by that point and even the girls aren’t good for much more than lying still while we have our way with them!”

One of the armed men who came out to fight gasped. “The witches are queer, too! Their capacity for sin knows no bounds!”

“With demons no less!” Another chimed in. “Those fiends!”

“FIENDS ARE LITERALLY DEMONS!” Minuette screamed, clearly more focused on the Minuette let out another sigh and raised fingertips to her forehead. “Why is this my life?!” Turning towards the doctor she reached into her jacket and produced her time turner. “I know you said no killing, but like… four out of five guys out there have beards that say ‘my best mating prospects are whatever I trap…”

“I’m Spring-Heeled Jack!” The Doctor exclaimed as he held up his hands. “As you can no doubt tell from my English accent and incredible bounce!” he added, jumping a whole foot above the ground to a couple astounded cowboys.

Every gun was suddenly on the Doctor.

“DAMNIT, DOCTOR! DO YOU WANT RADIOACTIVE GOLEMS?! THIS IS HOW YOU GET RADIOACTIVE GOLEMS!” Minuette cried.

“Wait, seriously?!” Debra called out from the gnarled wood balcony decorated with large and small tiny animal skulls. “Hold on a minute! Have we considered the net positives of a world where we get to study radioactive golems?”

“BY CHORNUS’S DUMN-ASS PARENTING SKILLS, NO WONDER YOU TWO ARE DATING!” Minuette yelled.

“We aren’t dating… ARE WE?!” Debra asked in an excited tone.

“What’s radioactive?!” Sonata asked her rifle armed sisters.

Aria sighed. “It’s sounds like a made up word to me… you know… something people just imagine. Like dragons…”

“Could you two shut up and focus on all the ex-clients we now get to kill before we console their wives?!” Adagio exclaimed as she steadied her aim.

Debra took in the situation with her good eye then looked back down, “Hey, Doctor! Uh… Things are escalating up here!”

“Stop tattling!” Sonata Dusk called out in a dark tone that toned oddly syrupy. “Tattlers get 10 Hail Marys and the pelvic saw!”

“Like, really badly escalating and I’m not tied up or anything but I’m super clumsy and they have guns!”

“Hey, Debra!”

“Yes, erm…”

“Minuette!”

“Hi, Minuette.”

“Hi, Debra! Look, could you give us a moment?” she folded her arms across her chest and glared at the Doctor. “Some of us don’t want to be shot and are standing next to the guy apparently hellbent on wanting to get shot tonight!”

“Yeah, sorry. I was just having a laugh,” The Doctor said with a smile. “It was so tense with all the guns I figured I can get everyone’s attention and maybe we can come to a solution where no one has to be shot.”

“No deal!” Aria exclaimed.

“Yeah, we came here for blood!” Sonata agreed

“But… you live here…” Debra mused.

Sonata nodded. “Exactly! I live here, so this is where I keep all my blood!”

“... Doctor, I think I need that rescue after all!”

“A’ight! I’m working on it!” The Doctor replied. He looked about the people a few yards above and in front of him with guns and the others several yards away in the cover of the treeline also with guns. “Look, there’s been a terrible misunderstanding in all of this, no one has to get shot today—”

“Aww!” Sonata cried in a disappointed tone.

The Doctor continued as Minuette stood by, silently watching to see if what could only be described as complete insanity actually played out in their favor “So let’s put the guns down, maybe agree to talk this over in the very large house, and we can all enjoy a nice spot of tea and go on our merry ways.”

Someone gasped from the group. “Wait… Tea.. That voice… HE sounds like a Brit so he must be Spring-Heeled Jack!”

The Doctor began to protest, but suddenly the bark from the tree behind him exploded and he and Minuette found themselves hiding behind a tree.

“You just had to English it up!” Minuette said. “How did you not think this through!”

“It doesn’t come up that often!” The Doctor insisted. “Look, if you had bloody hell not jumped where and WHEN everyone was in the most harm’s way, maybe we could have done this with a few less sets of hearts beating!” He gave Minutte a scrutinizing look. “What would you have done?!”

“…I don’t have a good answer for that, YET!” Minuette said. She reached into her coat “Oh, maybe if—”

There was a sudden grasp on her wrist. “Would you please figure out something that doesn’t involve going on a killing spree?!”

Minuttee sighed, “Okay… you’re going to have to trust me here…” she again pulled out her time turner. She smirked and nudged her time turner ever so slightly.

The gunfire paused.

“See! It's no big deal.”

The Doctor’s lips pulled up as he looked behind the tree. “Wait, did you stop time? That’s brilliant.”

“Nope! Like… two of those guys are really Izorelians. I just dropped their camouflage so the townsfolk can see for themselves what’s going on and maybe get a fresh perspective on this Spring Heeled-Jack stuff.”

“Clyde’s a demon! CLYDE’S A DEMON!”

And then the front of the house erupted in bullets, fire, and blood with all sides pulling the trigger against their targets. The fire hit next and then the teeth but this didn’t stop the tiny arsenal of bullets fired off from the girls on the balcony.

“—Fuck me…” Minuette uttered as a savage roar and blood curdling screaming called out and a severed arm fell a few feet from where her and the Doctor had hunkered down.

“Sounds like you can ask one of the girls up there for that if you can’t hold out until you see your girlfriend again.”

“I really hope we meet a Time Lady or Lord of Humor so he can spend a minute with you and decree you’re not allowed to make jokes!”

Somewhat used to this level of ire, The Doctor ignored the angry wish in favor of poking his head around the tree to scope out the situation. “Look, I got an idea, but it’s a bit barmy.”

Minuette sneered and glared at the Doctor. “Are you Britishing it up to piss me off more? ‘Cause it’s working! I can still solve all my problems with time murders, you understand!” she exclaimed in a tone born less of imminent threat and more of frustration.

The Doctor stood up. “It means the plans a bit daft.”

Minuette sighed as she stood up “Well, that was slightly less british, and yeah… you don’t know that I know this, but your plans usually are ‘daft’.”

The Doctor nodded. “Good, then this shouldn’t surprise you. Follow me!”

“What?!”

The Doctor made a mad dash for the ‘otherworldly house’ in the woods as gunfire erupted around him. Minuette spent maybe half a moment being flustered before she ran after him.

“THIS IS YOUR IDEA?!” Minutte exclaimed in shock as she charged forward.

“I told ya it was daft, didn’t I?”

Part 2 A Dazzling Beginning Chapter 8: The Burning Alure of Life's house collapsing

“Uh, they are, in fact making a run for the Tarnation door,” Aria Blaze informed as she drew a bead on the less cute of the two and… buck, was that a hard choice.

“Aria,” Adagio hissed out through teeth that were closed tight. “What in Tarnation is a call to the black depths that reach for all–”

“Don’t demonize at me, hell beast!” Aria sneered. “There are keys so heinous that they exist in books bound by angel feathers!”

“We know!” cried Sonata, errantly pointing her rifle out a window and shooting at whatever, because landblasting things was an excellent way to teach things that didn’t seak cover that they should get more friendly with rocks. “I plucked the wings! Hehehehehe!”

Debera began slowly looking around the room, noticing that there were weapons everywhere. When the three women of the house were busy talking to each other, they actually encouraged her to grab ahold of whatever she could get to fight back with. It’s like they WANTED an excuse to shoot her. But, “No, no… I’m no good with a weapon…” usually got the conversation back on track.

Turns out that Sonata, the er… blue one… She was trying to save her kid which was Jumping Jack Flash who was also part alien or archon… also it turns out that Sonata was the mom of all Jack the Rippers or the original… or Look, I was trying to politely drink my way through the- Oh! There’s another gun!’ Debra checked that the Dazzlings were busy and went for the gun… uh… they kept fighting over the name actually. The Nights were what Sonata insisted they were called until a recent change in leadership so that they are currently called the Shinobye.

“Tony down, Tony down!” cried a baritone in the land of raining bullets.

Sonata’s smile went slasher crescent moon. “Oh, got a good one!” Her laughter pierced the depths and shook the oceans themselves. “Well, it’s a good thing they’re done with him!”

Aria jerked her rifle to the far right of her window and hit something that crack her bullet and let out a soft, masculine groan of protest as another body hit the ground out in the wildly grown and well-kempt, shifting gardens of the Boudoir of Fate.

“Mute!” Adagio shouted. This was accompanied by a great deal of confusion as the speaking, barking of orders, and cries for help suddenly went silent. Yet, the roar of battle continued.

Oh! That’ll keep things busy.

“Debra,” Adagio crowed out in a voice that always seemed to have a touch of ‘come hither that bounced around Adagio’s deep tones. “Please stop snooping and hand us weapons you find, handle first.”

Crud… Caught. “Okay! But don’t shoot the doctor and his, uh… co-worker!”

“Deal!” The trio all agreed.

Debra, found a pile of derringers, some unboxed, some still hidden in their containers and a bunch of ammunition, she settled onto her knees and began grabbing handfuls of the weapons and ammunition.

There was the sound of a bullet ricocheting off a carved wooden support next to Debra and she clutched her collection of small guns and ammunition before dropping a modest pile by Sonata.

“Oh, goodie! Peashooters! Uh… could you find bigger weapons, please!”

Debra dropped the weapons and ammo she was holding and began looking for other firearms to distribute.

Let’s see… bigger guns, bigger guns, right… Rifles! Oh, the important thing that they said to me; Aria mentioned a Moon Core server that operated on the moon that kept the Jacks and like… a bunch of historical and mythological figures running around, trying to find the Holy Grail and just generally… I dunno. Hey! Gun! Okay… so, anyways, there’s a Moon Core er… Moon’s Cell Core that powers all the magical energies that are also based on people’s perceptions and what they know about these heroes, but the heroes can be the opposite gender…

She placed a rifle next to Aria who gave her a quick, “Hey, thanks, babe.”

“Uh… you’re welcome?”

Anyways, it wasn’t the most scientific detail or anything. Adagio added bits here and there, but she was rearranging the room like they were going to fight everything in the universe and then… Right! She might need more guns from the center and okay! That gun looks… Suspiciously not western.

“Uh, hey!” Another bullet hit the ceiling, knocking loose some plaster and tumbling down with its front end flattened. Debra brushed away the plaster from her dress. “Adagio, why is there a Tommy-gun in your pile of… Okay, yes, that definitely looks like moonshine.”

Moonshine Code Command issue.

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Water over Heaven

Battle At the Big Bridge Everlong mix.

Time. Stand in Time’s light, soak in it, and let’s all stand still for a moment.

Sonata cackled madly as Adagio grinned and shook her head. The three started reaching for grenades that were wel… they looked oddly non-lethal. Debra squinted and through the periodic atoms of alloyed steel she could detect detonates and chemicals used to make loud noises and bright flashes.

Aria snickered as she shined a flashlight, a modern, slim and bright as a fricken car headlight across the gardens and multiple flash-bangs went off to the quiet yelps and sounds of amazement from those on the battlefield. “Debra, you’re my kind of maniac.”

“... Okay, what exactly just happened?” Debra asked. Her face lit up mischievously. “And how do I do it again?”

~~===---=== ~~ — — — ~~

Through the corner of her eyes, Sonata noticed the intrepid doctor in his gray suit and the blue-haired doctor ducked past moving bushes, dodged bullets, show up behind enemy lines to pilfer guns, and… like… Okay! I agreed not to shoot and why would I shoot people who were taking this opportunity of everyone frozen in time and staring at lights that kept blinding them and also screaming at them to steal field rations?

A piece of the house splintered a bit over Sonata’s hear causing her to clasp at her ear in pain, draw a bead on the rifleman, and opened fire. Her shot tore into his shoulder and rolled out of sight. “Freakin’ Marshals!” Sonata exclaimed. “Also, I shot a Marshal… I think he also runs a casino in town so… maybe be extra nice to him with the part about me shooting him and him also running a casino.”

The Doctor brought his sonic screwdriver and it whirred as a bullet was removed from a bloody hole. Running his thumb across one of the gears of his sonic screwdriver, the sound from the screwdriver began to change and the wound began to close.

“Amute!” Colgate exclaimed.

The three men around them couched and sputtered as words began to flow from their mouths once more.

“Ah assume explanations are forthcoming,” Doc Holliday said, his lute caring a few dashes of annoyance.

Wyatt rubbed his hand against the shoulder, it was a tad sore but a far cry from the pain of recently being shot.

“We’re trying to get into the house with the uh… time-traveling witches that are…” Minnuette stopped, noticing one of the three men had ducked into the bushes and that the two in men in front of her were clearly not in the mood to hear about ‘time-traveling witches’. “Okay, the important thing is we keep on keepin’ on to the house!” She said as she motioned for the group to follow her.

“Hey, do we need a kid in a gas mask?” called out Jamie as he emerged from the bushes with an armed, boy of maybe thirteen holding a rifle and wearing a gas mask.

“Are you my pappy?” The child asked Jamie.

Jamie grunted in annoyance. “‘Cause I think we should leave it here.”

Colgate thought for a moment. “Child, er, rifle-child,” Minnuette greeted as first Lady Justice and then Minnuette, dentist extraordinaire, “Can you please provide covering fire for us as we run towards the house?”

The Doctor produced his glasses from his jacket pocket and put them on. One blue lens and one red, and he peered at the child. “Alright, thought we’d maybe seen all of these. Didn’t know they could escape bloody England during a world war.” He produced a sonic screwdriver. “Try not to–”

The child, its face covered with a gas mask, uttered a breathy “I, uh, alright… nice Doctor lady ” and rolled over and pulled the trigger on an unassuming bush.

The gun went off, the bush was suddenly decorated with a red spurt.

With a buzz and a whirr of his sonic screwdriver, the gun fired again and…

And the TimeReverse.

Immediate request.

Personnel Swap

Time Lord Victorious approves.

Time Lord Victorious?

*System reboot*

Skynet activated. The Androids, Cyborgs, and Robots are on the march.

“Girls!” Sonata exclaimed in a voice that awash with processing power. “I think I’m battling a robot brain thing from the future!”

Aria activates shield of PRogram Link!

Link! Link! Link!

Lemon Heart Applying Burn Life’s Hiest Down

Minnuette produced an Aquamarine Sonicscrewdiver with a brilliant, watery glow of white light, deep water-blue, and aqua teal, and time flew backward, the Doctor’s Sonic Screwdriver repairing the rifle and placing the, now red-eyed child, mask clutched in its hand, now somehow healed. “I salute thee! Time Lord Victorious and Time Lady Justice. Allow, me to cover you on your journey to…”

The Doctor suddenly grabbed the child and sprinted towards the ashen-irracondecent indigo eyes.

You may be tiding on the high Time Lord Victorious, but others are–

Aria grinned wide and reached for an hourglass with golden trim on the end-table beside her, she quickly flipped it and Colgate-Minnutte suddenly produced her sonic screwdriver and a parasol made of energy and sound produced in front of her and blocked pullets, explosions, and everything that was trying to hit her and Aria with intent to cause bodily and mindful harm.

Time Lords’s your time has been… Reestablished,

Silly Lords, the Ladies are tired of being ignored. We’re going to…

Sonata reached into her pocket, produced a small, silver hourglass, turned it once, and placed it on the couch arm next to her. It wobbled for a second before she snatched it and put it next to a large metal lamp that was producing excellent cover from bits of wood and shrapnel from the firefight.

Adagio turned away from her street sweeper she was using to shame the Spanish Daggers by cleaning the house in a way that makes things messier.

The Daggers, taking the rather viscous hint squirted from here to there, slashing foreheads, arms, legs.

Adagio chuckled, “No one ever suspects the Spanish Inquisition.” With that, she fired a few more shots out her window, noting that one small grunt of pain escaped into the chaotic night as she ran towards a grandfather clock, stepping over piles of loot, errant bottles and so many tarot, playing, and cards of all sorts of all art it was a miracle she only landed the souls and heals of her boots on patches of hardwood floor.

Sonata’s head bobbed from side to side, “Ah, pendulums!”

Adagio reached the ornate brass and bronze clock, opened panels on the sides, grasped two levers, then pulled the right one followed by the left.

“World…” Adagio began.

“COSTA RICA!” Aria and Sonata exclaimed.

Burn

Brun!

BURN LIFE’S HOUSE DOWN!

A wave of energy burst from the house, then another, and another, in blues, purples, fiery golds, purple lights, red and yellow, deep blues, light blues that were redirected, waves and waves

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Your trigram is fire over wind.

The Caldron

Minnutte’s parasol went bubble and as winding hot fire erupted in reds, yellows, blues, and even in greens that weaved between planets, the plants, the skies above and between friends.

Foes be-dead! And Undead! Rise from the ground and…

“Sonata!” exclaimed a voice that Sonata knew as a naughty Sunset Shimmer… who… wait i don’t think I’ve met her quite yet. “This is not the time, to summon an army of the undead!” exclaimed a male voice.

A second male voice joined in. “Now is EXACTLY the time for Sonata-chan to summon the hordes of undead. We need a fair amount of the town’s populations and–”

Sunset interrupted, “Can we take the town?”

“Rise! RISE MY CHILDREN’S VICTIMS! Save the uh… “

“Mother! The Doctor’s Tardis is behind the outhouses in the Alley of Unfathomable Endings.

“Hahahah! Usher the town’s people into the Blue Police Box down between the Eagle’s Feathers and the Fire Saloon!”

“Still working on the name!” cried a woman from below the windows of the house.

“Wait, wait, I see someone’s head’s on fire… let me put it out.” Aria looked down the site of her gun, aimed for a good second, the purposely jerked it to the side.

There was the sound of bullets exploding rock and a cuss of the “What the actual… fuck!” variety,” from a male then female voice.

“Screw you, Aria!” A voice like molasses in the hot mid-day sun shouted as she took a pot shot up at the window where Aria was busy counting ‘Indian Boys’ by shooting dead the traitor friends that just couldn’t believe that the sirens, as opposed to, oh I don’t know, any given teenager should rule everything!

“Screw your last bake sale!” Aria cried as she gunned down bestie after bestie, the space behind Sunset and her partner, and around Sunset and her partner, and really anything not Sunset and her partner being a bullet-ridden mess as she ran screaming into the house.

“Stop shooting at Sunny, but yes!” one of the guys around Sunset answered. “That bake sale was a downer.”

“I uh… I had fun!” the other guy mentioned.

“Wait, are you all play fighting?!” Debra asked. “Can’t you just let them in?!”

Let the right ones in activated.

Time Turner has approved the opening of the Tardis

There’s several at the doors of Tarnation, and there will be many more from now until .Damnation.

DAMNATION ACTIVATED, THE HOUSE HAS TARGETED FEAR ITSELF

The Doctor sighed as he practically strolled under the sign that read ‘Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here.’ “I suppose I’m going to spend literal years finding and shooing undead skeletons out of my water closets.”

“The undead will be privy to your privies!” cried a smiling azure blue man with long black hair under a wide-brimmed black hat, a duster that was decorated with mud and blood draping his body as he picked targets and lit them up with bullets, spells, and real lightning that flickered from the tips of his blades.

The Doctor guffawed at the comment and scanned his surroundings, his glasses helping him see. Well, the insides were a right mess of fallen plaster, the odd chips of wood, but mostly a dragon's horde, or three, of goods from the time period, ancient Greece clearly. Are they… bloody hell, they look to be using at least one spartan shield as a snack plate. There are actually spears that are as old as the oldest buildings on this planet with dynamite strapped to the tips. And, alright! Those blasters are not of this time or planet. “Alright, could you maybe explain why Jumping Jack Flash has fell in lot with a bunch of time pirates?”

“HAH!” A smiling azure blue man with long black hair under a wide-brimmed black hat, two gloved hands clenching long and curved blades attached to brass and shining metal firearms that shoot with green balls of burning into the hills above. “First off, well…” He put on a ponderous expression. “Jacko is not so much falling in lot with us as we kinda, maybe uh… are family.”

“You know, I don’t feel safe here!”

“Maybe not stand there, then,” Flash said. “You’re kinda asking to be shot.”

A bullet ripped a hole in the side of the Doctor’s gray suit and burned his skin and encouraged his hasty entrance.

“Everyone is going to rush around like they’re frickin’ bulletproof,” mused Justice.

Grabbing her partner by the black duster collar and her other partner, by his duster collar, she managed to get the second in quite easily as he trusted her left hand into cover. “Justice, could you stop lighting up the hills to do the thing you said?!”

“Right, right!” Justice, said as he fired off a few more shots and ducked into the house.

“Covering you, bro!”

“Thankee, Flash!” Justice said as he placed his back against the massive red Piller that also formed the hinge of the ornate door. “Thankee, Sunset!” he added.

“You’re welcome, Hubby!” Sunset exclaimed as she lobbed an extra bright flare into the sky, lighting up the battlefield as oh so many couldn’t help but stare upwards. Allure magic was fun like that.

Debra made her way up to the open door. Her eyes and mind reeled with everything she was seeing. Time was… Time was merging. Changing. Oscillating? The Doctor is/was… “Could you make sure the guy in the gray suit and red tie makes it to the door? He’ll have someone with him?”

“Okay! We can do that,” Flash said. “Also, he’s right here.”

The Doctor caught his breath, or at least tried to as Debra threw her arms around him. She squeezed him tight. Thankful she missed his fleshwound and–Oh, bloody hell. Why do I want to kiss this girl like my life depended on it?

“Uh, Debra?” Greeted Colgate, “We ran in while those three were fighting everything outside. Also, the other three at the door just… wow… It’s like all three of them are working out bad break-ups on the countryside.”

“I fucking love my family!” screamed Sonata.

Debra planted her lips directly on the Doctor who found himself reciprocating the kiss and bloody ‘El… They damned the concept of fear itself. He thought while his tongue danced with Debra’s.

They were quickly ushered into the house by Sunset’s and Justice’s helping hand. Justice took a gentle tone with the two locked-lipped individuals. “Look, we can find you a couch or something if you two need to do that now…”

“Getting frustrated, surrounded by people with kissable mouths and you two are making it worse!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Busy!” Debra exclaimed as she began to rummage around the insides of the Doctor’s jacket.

“Debra! Please, I… we need…”

“Too wound up, resorting to violence!” Sunset exclaimed.

Justice gently grasped Sunset by the waist, kissed her on the mouth, and pointed her in the direction of an open doorway where targets were frantically lining up as they ran towards the door. “Pointing wife unit in the direction of things that violence should be inflicted upon.”

“Wife unit accepting change in targets!” Sunset cried as she produced a six-shooter with her left hand and energized cards covered in bright-pink and golden energy that fired from her hand to the sound of a roaring pistol as the green energies of Justice’s gunblades and Flash’s mini-gun that fired depleted cobalt rounds charged with energies that traveled faster than the concept of speed were…

“Right, Sonic screw-drivers out!”

The Doctor, Minnuette, and even Debra produced a sonic=screw driver. The Doctor’s screwdriver slowed the speed of the bullets so they didn’t tear the world apart. Minnuette’s slowing the Doctor’s time slow down so that the bullets were a tad bit more effective, and Minnuette reminding those that got hit by the bullets to brush their teeth.

Debra Hart stared long and hard at the surprisingly ornate and wand-like sonic screwdriver in her hand. Its crystal tip ‘wirr’ed as two cat paws claws extended and the bullets outside began zooming through portals, shadows, and veils.

“I uh… I’m erm… redirecting a lot of the armaments, uh… bullets, the wind that’s on fire, the OH MY ACTUAL GOD!” Her eyes focused. “Okay, what the heck am I and how much water is coming?! It’s enough to crush… Everything!”

Sonata giggled.

“Alright!” The room suddenly was alight wight the whirr and buzz of Justice, Sunset, Flash, Aria, Adagio, and Sonata producing their own sonic-screw drivers.

“Uh, this might be an odd question,” the Doctor said as he sprung to his feet. “Is there an Adagio present?”

A tuft, and then a mop, and then the whole hair saloon worth of golden, shining hair attached to a woman holding an honest to Gallifrey sonic-screwdriver that shined a cadmium yellow. “You really should do your homework before barging into someone’s house.”

He grinned up with a boyish flop on his face. “Not really my style, mum. I was told to tell you, er for you to tell me ‘It has begun.”

Adagio's grin turned crescent and swung from side to side. “It has begun, dear Timelord.”

Time’s Barries Are

B-R-E-A-K

“Applying mis-re-shake-rattle and roll-back!” exclaimed Debra.

“Hello!” said Debra’s voice, yet it came from one of the many, many open portals inside and outside the house. “This is the horse version, er… pony version of the woman who just ruled back tike. We need it to be a bit less exploded for this all to work out.”

“Boo!” Justice exclaimed.

“Hiss!” Sunset added.

“I honestly need something that shoots fewer bullets!” Flash exclaimed as he seemingly dropped his massive gun with its rotating barrels into a flashing, sparkling portal. He produced a weapon that looked like a barely-portable launching pad for howitzer-sized ammunition and began firing off large bombs that exploded into blinding lights that left craters and mushroom clouds in their wake.

“Baes,” Aria said. Seemingly addressing everyone in the open living quarters that expanded to the eight walls of the house and up three stories to the ceiling. “It’s uh… time is gonna bleed a heck of a lot and try not to go insane.”

The Doctor looked upwards with his glasses, finding that there was some sort of barrier, and… the house bottlenecked it was. It had the shape of. He looked down… It was some sort of cascading helix shape that was constantly repeating an hourglass shape in a wheel, no double wheel and… Time was bending around it, bobbing the house up and down like the whole complex was riding through rapids. Also, uh… There was an armed Debra holding guns just… right, right, the aforementioned time bleeding. I uh… should probably stop that.

“Also, you’re paradoxically upstairs!” Announced The Doctor to Aria, but also to himself as he Right, time’s bleedin’. I aughta.... “Shooting the air around Sunset and her boys like they were the only things that mattered!” He looked down to confirm that the same people were here. And yes, okay… Sonic-screw driver out. Trying to dial this into a less dilapidated mess of timelines merging and pendulum swinging back and… Oh sigh… Oh bother… Oh Bloody frickin’ Hell in an Ichor basket do they have so many bleedin’ things just bending, drilling holes through, and just…

The Doctor took a look at another timeline. “Debra from that timeline with all the guns. Set them down, don’t fire them! They’re honestly trying to get us inside and I don’t know about your timeline, but imagine a place where everyone and everything was being pulled into a bug zapper made out of magic and fire and actual bullets.

“Oh! Uhhh…” D.H. took a quick read of the room and realized just about everyone was more than a little afraid of the bullet storm she could release, indoors. She gently set her guns down, then several things happened just about all at once. She uttered a confused, “Wait that all sounds bad!”

Jamie walked up to the pile of guns, snatched a hand cannon, announced “Borrowing this! Cover me adopted son of war.”

“Yes, pappy!” announced the bounding gas-mask wearing boy who grabbed two more pistols from the pile and followed the mercenary to a window where their guns soon found targets in desperate need of shooting.

Cheeks soaked with tears, and bellowing “Babeeee!” Sunset charged Lady Justice who returned fire with, “BaaaaaeeeeeBeeeeee!” and they embraced like the world might just up and be ripped apart around them.

The Doctor blinked. “Wait, Sunset was with a make Justice and isn’t that… Minuette?”

A windowpane shattered as bullets ripped up and above Debra’s head. “I’m trying to follow it myself.” She said, ignoring the bullets above her save for ducking her head lower. “I think that Sunset came in alone and that Time Lady walked in with a you that snuck in under less actual everything-fire.”

The Doctor looked at Debra quizzically. “You’re following this?”

“Uh, I’ve seen some of it before?” Debra reported. “Doctor are any of your companions erm… Time Lords?”

The Doctor chuckled. “Uh… some of them are in fact, Time Ladies.”

Debra cocked her head. “But no Lords?”

He smirked. “Alright, some of them are Time Lords.”

“Why don’t you just…” Debra’s lips twerked. “I uh… Doctor? I don’t know why, but I want to kill you with an intensity of a genocided species.” Debra’s eyes almost turned to a glare but her questioning brow stopped it.

The Doctor swallowed as he looked into those sapphire yellow eyes. Simmering with the fires of Gallifrey and the bombs of Skaro.

There was a beam of blue energy that landed on a wall next to the male Justice who was busy running around applying his bullet-hose of a shotgun out any window that needed good spraying.

White Portal Gun in hand, a purple-haired woman with lilac-colored skin sashayed in, her labcoat swaying around her black boots and her smile wide and manic. “Hey, Justice I need to help you hack–”

A black portal opened from the ground to Justice’s left. He side-stepped to be next to the new arrival. “I heard ‘help’ and ‘hack’. So what are we hacking?”

With a mad scientist’s laugh, another Twilight appeared from the black portal. With wings black as midnight and a sparkle in her eyes of worlds still yet to be visited. She smiled sweetly at Justice and the mania-ridden self that had just teleported from the moon, proving that portal travel is faster than the speed of light. “Hello, Justice! Science me! I’m not here to help in so much as make sure we all don’t die from burning our own house down! Which… okay yes. I’m here to help.”

SciTwi smashed a fist into an open palm as she hugged her portal gun to her chest. “Right, right, the combustible lemons.”

“Burn your own life’s house down on your own time!” Cried an at-his-wits-end Lord Justice punctuated by the sound of a shotgun that fired pellets like a hose that was designed to spray lethal bullets instead of water.

Justice looked up. “Uh, I think I’m fighting an ornery version of you two,” he said, noting the irony of addressing a crazed scientist Twilight and realized demon form Twilight in synch a fashion.

“SciTwi! This is ScythTwi! I’m telling you to shoot your lemons outward!”

“SciTwi, this is another SciTwi, those are words to live by!”

“Hello!” SciTw, you know, the one that is physically above the two Twilight’s who appeared from portals and is fighting a Lord Justice who is the same, yet a timeline different being from the Justice the two portal SciTwi-Twilights are talking to, replied after the series of hack-taps on the side of her head informed her that once again, she was pointing her lemons in such a way that she herself would be… Oh! That one looked up at the house in an undesirable manner. “Wow! That-uh… That message hit home! But not this home!” she added.

Twilight Sparkles! You have many ex-s outside that are trying to get in.

“Thank you life!” SciTwi exclaimed as she loaded a large, snipper rifle, that was coated in the glowing embers of lilac psycho-frame crystals that dashed across the gun, spiraling out its large aperture, roughly three inches in diameter. She fired and her firing was met with the echo of an explosion.

“SciTwi!” screeched a masculine voice.

When Life gives you a lemon.

“SciTwi! I HATE YOU!” rasped the voice in the voice in the fiery acid-fumes it was wading in.

Burn HIS/HER/Prounon of choice’s, HOUSE DOWN!*

*in this case “he”, yes, it’s very personal, and I identify as a Social Justice Alchemist, thanks for asking!

“YOU!” Lord Justice snickered. “Identify yourself,” he crowed. As he took in target notes from the screaming guy who was screaming the news mostly regarding how much he was breaking up with SciTwi. “Let lemons RAAAAAAAAIN! Let the white horse be sour-sweet”

“Present!” Sour-Sweat exclaimed, a lemon in each hand and in agenda in each hemisphere of the brain.

“This is what I get for loving too much!” screached the G.I. Joe Legion of News the had invited itself to a lemon party of melty-meltatastic proportions.

Lady Justice and the Sun that hides behind the evening clouds had checked in, kissed passionately, rifled through each other's pockets for… ammo, cigarettes, lighter, switchblades, multi-tool, multi-tool, several mini Holy Hand Grenades, Tarot Deck, Playing Cards, A wind of bullets that they blew around them in such a way that, damn them for just inviting themselves past so many thresholds they needed a shower.

A bucket of indigo pink-royal purple water doused them of their misery.

“Jackie!” screamed Justice desperately. “Get indoors! Get, like, everybody indoors!”

“But I’m having fun!” bellowed Jumping Jack Flash who was jumping, shooting firearms, laying traps, causing mayhem, creating chaos, and committing murders. Fire poured from his mouth, those that came straight him, he jumped over, and those he chose to end always, ALWAYS saw him coming, for all that it was worth. “Wait… everybody?!”

“Eeveeryboooodieeeeee!”

“Yokai!”

“Hey! Huey the NEWS here! Sonata! What is this Hell beast of a composi-child worth to all of you!”

“Jumping jack Flash is her BERSERKER!” Sunset exclaimed as she ‘you simply must think bigger, darling!’* a Jeep full of Japes.

*This means she’s using a grenade launcher that hits like a meteorite.

“We are ALSO here,” cried many voices of pure, delightfully ID laughter! “We have seen how this town treats its people, so we went ahead and raided their Steeple! Crosses are ours, we took their blessed books. The Children Brigade continues its parade, and look at all the food we took!”

“But we rescued the Gooood ones!” Bellowed a skeleton who was in a full white and black grand marshal uniform, the brass buckles glowing in the windy firestorm above. “And the not-so-good ones that the clan likes!”

“Delightful,” moaned Adagio as she returned the love of her children with silver bullet kisses to those that hunted them.

“Service with a SMILE, mother!”

“The screams of terror and being burned alive please your mother!” Sonata Dusk exclaimed, “For realzies! But Daddy and The Sun who Peaks from behind the Clouds just got cleaned in vengeance, water, Passionate 3rd eye Hopesplosion potion, and The Punk Ruck mucus of all the Continental Shelf sex we had last night”

“Alright! We have collected many trophies! May we keep them?!” screeched the horror that rips through the veil of lies.

“Storm cellar entrance!” Bellowed Adagio.

“Do what your mother says!” The Justice that is the Combustible Lemon bellowed, as well.

“To the Dungeon with you!” Aria hissed, a touch of vermillion touching her eyes as she admired her brood’s handiwork.

“Mom loves you!” Sunny tossed out to the Black Parade as she gave it covering fire. This involved bullets, actual fire, and your trigram is

====================

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Fire it UP!

And a color wheel of passionate energy began carving through less-gardened areas of the immediate vicinity.

-The Summertime Killer arrives on hot, desert wind to teach and keep those who win.

“Seriously,” Neoliee cried, her three-tone white-black-pink hair clinging to her plum skin in water-soaked clumps.. “I’m uh… going upstairs. Good work, my little predators!” she exclaimed as she traped, wall-eyed and haggard to the living room. Noting the Time Lord in front of her was more than a little bent out of shape and she needed, Okay, heavy bot movable… she thought as she borrowed a delightfully aquamarine chaise with a dark-wood trim.

Debra huffed out heavy breaths full of stress and began examining the weapons below. She bent down and examined one here with one eye, and another here with another. You know… if I fire sideways.

And with that realization, Debra started grabbing firearms and looking past the barriers of the mundane world and into the fates of time itself, seeing world after world ending in suffering if… Okay, I’ll fix things with being me and the Doctor… My Doctor… he can fix things by being him.

And then, she felt her clumsy move aside as her arms moved with precision and speed she didn’t know she possessed. She picked up a Derringer, one of the newer, smaller, two-barrel models, and fired out one window and then another. Shots bounced and ricocheted and timelines closed as if scared off.

Debra Hart plunged her hands into the pile of weapons, swearing to never be helpless again.

Withdraw Order, this Universe has been-will-be- Is going Hydro. Signed Alliances: Twilight-Starlight-Other things that are an Expy of Sunset Shim–SHUT UP, JUSTICE!

The robots and droids receive the call the withdraw. Many are already in the desired time shelters. Shifting for increased pressure.

The Wired delivering Void coded message.

Fret not creatures of this world, the waters shall claim you and you shall be… Oh, they have the worthy. Well..

DROWN

“D.H.” said the Doctor, er, well… A Doctor?

“Speaking,” she answered brusquely as she compared hand-cannon colt 1 to hand cannon-colt-2 and, Wow! Did the girls ever own so many derringers? Oh, I can probably shoot that guy through that–”

“What in blazes are you doing?!”

“I’m being useful!” she exclaimed.

Debra observed with the Doctor who was busy fixing time with his trusty sonic screwdriver and generosity that saw marching undead and terrified people, also animals, into hist Tardis! Apparently, the Tardis herself was proudly declaring that she was the New Ark and that she has more space than Noah’s bog-ridder of a boat.

Great, now my Tardis is going to need a wash in holy water.

“DEBRA HEART, STOP THIS AT ONCE!” Cried the Doctor who marched up and was trying to get Debra to stop shooting, well… a lot of things indirectly. Which was impressive, considering he honestly didn’t think she knew how to fully operate a firearm.

“THAT IS HOW YOU GET YOURSELF SHOT!” Debra exclaimed, kicking out the Doctor’s legs from under him as as bullets ripped through the air he was occupying before he landed on top of her.

“OW!”

“Bloody, blimey, fucking, peaking… Why did you aim for me to land on you?!”

Debra Hart, the one who observed, tugged on the jacket arm of the Doctor Who Heals Time and they observed the display below and Time Turner and D.H. found themselves in a heap of each other.

“I wanted you to land on something soft!” she exclaimed as she eyed one of the guns, pointed it at a window, said, “Cover your ears with your hands and mine with your chest, please!”

“Bloody Hell!” screamed the Doctor as he did just that and six shot’s fired, and six missiles exploded off in the distance, their target far too far away to be bothered.

“Debra,” The Doctor said gently. “I need you to know that taking a life is something that you live with every day. You may not–”

Debra looked about the absolutely chaotic maelstrom that was the group and said, “Alright, this is stupid!” she picked up a gun. “I was about ready to throw down and murder everyone here to save, you! We killed a bunch of bug monsters just yesterday and I already had to shoot a potential rapist in a truck stop! Uh… Not, you know… truck stop ol’ wild west, but just on a road trip to see my cousin!”

The Doctor said one word and one word only. “Bugger… Right, right, I forget the people I travel with have had rich, full, often terrifying lives before they met me.” He shook his head and pulled out a sonic screwdriver. “I’m sorry Debra, I can’t just…”

A bullet ripped another window and caught the Doctor in the shoulder. He dropped to the floor, Debra falling with him.

Blood rained in slow motion.

Fire continued to rage around the green-red-yellow, BLUE-ORANGE-FIRE-FUSHIA-FUSHIA-ROYAL BLOOD PURPLE WRECK!

The Doctor looked about the sheer amount of power around him and realized one thing. He could either be victorious or he could, well… probably leave the Tardis in the Wild West.

“WELL, BLOODY HELL THEN!” bellowed the Doctor as he stood to his feet and held aloft a Sonic-Screwdriver that vibrated the air specifically outside the house in just such a way that the bullets, energy, actual wind drills shattered. “ALLONSY~~`~~~!”

wHRRR… wHRRRRR… wHRRRRRR

“TIME LADY JUDGEMENT HAS ARRIVED”

Message from the enemy combatants:

WE NEEDED TO LOVE LESS-FLAMMABLE THINGS! ALSO, EVERYTHING WE LOVE IS SHOT FULL OF HOLES! ALSO, ON FIRE! EVEN THE ASHES BURN!

mESSage from the TIME LORDS & LADYS

We have picked up our family! We’ll be on our way!

wHRRR… wHRRRRR… wHRRRRRR

Close this World – texn eht nepO

And the Tardisis’s drifted into the hole left in the world, a march of desert fauna following them through the drifting sands…

THERE’S A BLOODY PLUG MISSING FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, YOU SEA, AND ALL YOU ON THAT BLODY FIELD ARE ABOUT TO BE UNDER AN AWFUL LOT OF ACTUAL, PHYSICAL, PRESSURE!

Yeah… the Rainbow doesn’t prevent floods from that direction.

“Do it!”

Next chapter

“Mommy needs me to be a good boy!” exclaimed Jack, black spray paint canister in his hands.

“The Cyber-man of you CONscience needs you to COMMIT petty VANDSM!”

“On second, thought,” Jack said out loud to no one in particular (snicker) “Mom might be proud of me!” he said drawing a delightfully black firework spread of a V with a quick circle about it.