Chapters Best Laid Plans- Comedy, Romance
(Warning for slight sensuality)
Rarity had a problem.
But Twilight had a plan.
And together the two unicorns conspired and conspired until they finally came to an agreement on just how the plan should unfold.
Twilight nodded, content at the diagram laid before her on the library desk. “This is fool proof, Rarity. I think we have at least a ninety percent chance of success!”
Rarity looked dubious. “Darling, how can it be fool proof if there’s a chance this could fail? Honestly now, don’t sugar coat things.”
Twilight rolled up the sheet of parchment with her magic and tucked it gently into her saddlebag. “We just have to leave room for the one variable that neither you nor I can really predict. I assume you know full well what I’m talking about?”
Rarity let out a melodramatic sigh. “But of course. Alright. I’ll trust you. Lead the way, dear.”
The two ponies floated two black cloaks over their withers and donned the hoods. Together they snuck out the front door of the library and made their way, shadow to shadow, down the road and out of the town proper. A bright, full moon shone above them like an ominous beacon, but they were grateful for the light it provided even if it made them stand out a bit more than they would otherwise.
Carefully, they crept onto the land owned by the Apple Family, and even more carefully they skulked into the massive Apple Family barn. Once inside they tossed aside their cloaks-- well Twilight gave hers a toss but Rarity gently folded and set hers on a bale of hay—and gathered around their game plan. Twilight’s soft purple glow of magic managed to illuminate the markings enough for them to see, and she floated a quill over to make a large checkmark next to an item on the list she had scribbled next to a diagram.
“Get to the Apple’s barn undetected. Check.”
Rarity clicked her tongue. “Twilight, must you really check everything off as we go along?”
Twilight frowned. “Well yes. We’ve got to stay on task and focused, and the best way to do that is to stick to the list!”
Rarity tossed her mane with a sniff. “Fine. If you say so.”
Twilight rolled her eyes before focusing back on the list. “Okay. Now we’ve got to climb into the loft.”
Rarity whined, “But there’s hay up there! I’ll get it all in my mane!”
Twilight snapped, “Tough break. Come on! Do you want to do this or not?”
Rarity stuck out her lower lip in a pout, but finally nodded and made her way to the loft ladder. Both unicorns climbed the ladder as carefully as possible, trying not to make a sound. They both succeeded in making it into the upper portion of the barn, and they exchanged sultry expressions.
“Are you ready for all your dreams to come true, Rarity?”
The white pony smiled saucily. “Are you?”
Applejack was awoken by something clattering against her window. She woke with a grimace, and grumpily got out of bed to check and see what it was. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She looked down towards the ground, but there was nothing to be seen underneath her window either. What in tarnation?
She started grumbling to herself, ready to turn and go back to bed, when she noticed a light flickering in the window of her barn’s loft. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t seeing things, but nope. There it was, clear as day, a faint white light flickering and buzzing in the dead of night. The only thing she could think that would make a light like that was magic, and the only reason someone would be using magic in her barn would be to steal her family’s livelihood!
Applejack wasted no time in galloping out the door, grabbing her lasso and a lantern on the way, and she charged into the barn.
Without really thinking too hard about her game plan, she barreled up the ladder and yelled, “HEY!” Two shadows flinched in the darkness, and Applejack scored a hoof against the ground. “What’re you varmits doin’ here in MAH barn?”
Finally her eyes adjusted to the flickering lantern light and she about dropped the lantern itself when she realized what she was seeing. Twilight Sparkle and Rarity were entangled in a messy heap atop a thick covering of hay, a strand of spittle made a kind of obscene bridge between the two of their mouths. Both looked absolutely horrified.
“Twi... Rarity….? What in tarnation?”
Twilight nudged Rarity with an urgent look in her eyes, and the unicorn wailed in a pretty melodramatic sort of way, “Oh Applejack! You caught us in our UNHOLY tryst! How very sorry I am that you had to discover us!”
Twilight kicked Rarity in what Applejack thought must’ve been the purple pony’s best attempt at subtlety.
Twilight chuckled nervously, “What she means to say is,” she donned an unconvincing look of shame, “we never wanted you to find out this way.”
Rarity nodded, a mite too enthusiastically, “YES! We NEVER wanted you to uncover our SECRET rendezvous!”
Applejack was getting all sorts of mixed signals, and she did not appreciate it. “Now just stop that, both of ya. Just what in Equestria are y’all tryin to do? Speak plainly now, and don’t you dare try and lie ta me.”
The unicorns exchanged glances, and Rarity rolled her eyes with a shrug. “Go on then, dear, if she wants to do this the boring way, show her the list.”
Twilight floated a sheet of parchment in front of Applejack’s face with a sheepish grin.
“Sneak into the Apple’s barn. Check. Climb into the loft. Check. Get Applejack’s attention. Check.” Applejack raised an eyebrow, but said nothing and finished the list. “Get caught by Applejack. Let Applejack realize passions and…” she trailed off.
Both unicorns looked mighty speechless now, perhaps a tad hopeful at that.
Applejack had to ask, “Have intense night of lovemaking with Applejack?”
Twilight giggled nervously, but Rarity just looked at the cowpony straight on without a word.
Well howdy. That’s sure the last thing she expected to find in her barn: two horny unicorns.
But who was she to complain?
Rarity finally spoke up, “Oh goodie. You brought your lasso.”
--Author's Note--
This was a submission for the Thirty Minute Ponies Tumblr, and as such was written in thirty minutes under the prompt of: "Applejack walks in on a romantic moment between Twilight and Rarity"
Nopony's Fault- Tragedy, Sad, Dark
Hooves thundered across the cobbled stones of the main street of Ponyville as a desperate pony galloped urgently towards the library.
Please don’t let me be too late. Please please please let me be on time!
The stones were wet from the earlier shower of rain that had drenched the town, and the pony slipped once or twice, slamming their chin on the ground with a painful grunt before picking themselves back up and racing once more.
It had been an accident. A terrible terrible accident. It was nopony’s fault, of course, nopony had ever done something like it on purpose, but that was little consolation. Grief was just as poignant and stung just as hard whether or not there was somepony to blame.
Nopony had ever anticipated… Nopony had thought to consider…
Pinkie shook her damp mane out of her eyes, tears streamed down her cheeks with wild abandon. She couldn’t afford to think about it. Not with the more pressing matter at hoof.
And yet she couldn’t help but think about it.
The cry filled with childish laughter. “Cutie Mark Crusader Renovators!”
The crack of a support beam.
The collapse of the upper portion of town hall.
Screams. So many screams.
But one that stuck out. One that haunted her. “Look out!”
He was a hero. That thought was presented by many as a means to soothe the bitter sting of loss, but it wasn’t enough. He had always been a hero. An unsung hero that went unappreciated at times and sometimes overlooked entirely. But he deserved better than this.
Of course Twilight took it the hardest. Rarity might have been filled with despair and regret, Dashie might have been struck with guilt for not arriving in time, but Twilight…
Pinkie rounded a corner, skidding a few inches to the side, almost toppling over, but the library was in view. She was almost there. Please let it not be too late!
Twilight hadn’t said a word. She just stared. Stared off into space, seemingly oblivious to all the ponies around her offering condolences and trying their best to be reassuring. Pinkie saw it; she couldn’t explain how, but she had seen Twilight break. Even as the unicorn turned, slowly and deliberately, back towards the library Pinkie knew it was wrong. It was all wrong.
The earth pony hadn’t followed. She had waited for long minutes, trying to be a calming presence and trying to brighten the mood that she felt oppressed by, and then she felt it. The creeping up her spine, the cold clammy inching of her skin, and she knew. She knew it was all about to break apart.
She thundered up to the library only to be met by a force field. She rammed into it face first and fell back onto her haunches with a painful crack. Blood trickled from her nose, but she didn’t care. She pounded on the shield, screaming out Twilight’s name, but there was no answer.
Pinkie felt her heart leap into her throat. She had made a promise to never use her secret Pinkie magic to invade a friend’s privacy again after that one incident with Applejack, but this was certainly an exception. She couldn’t possibly stand back and do nothing.
Breaking a Pinkie promise, even one she made with herself, felt like tearing herself apart, but she had to. She had to.
She erupted out from behind a bookshelf with a burst of confetti. The library was dark and quiet. Nopony around as far as she could see, which wasn’t saying a lot considering the only light was a single candle on the stairway. Pinkie raced up the stairs as quick as her hooves could carry her.
She burst into the inner sanctum of the library; Twilight’s head snapped up, eerie shadows cast across her face as the fickle light of a dozen candles arranged in a circle around the bedraggled unicorn flickered and wavered from some draft of air originating from Celestia knows where.
A broken smile stretched across Twilight’s face and she laughed. “Pinkie. How nice of you to come say goodbye.”
Pinkie tried to get closer, but purple strands of magic whipped out and lashed her to the floor. “Twilight!” Pinkie yelled, tears coursing down her cheeks. “Don’t do this!”
Twilight’s brows knitted together, but her eerie smile remained in place. “Can’t you see, Pinkie? Can’t you see that this is the only way? I have to do this. I have to.”
Pinkie struggled vainly against the magical restraints. “Please! This won’t bring him back!”
Twilight’s face contorted into a mask of pure rage. Spittle flew from her lips as she screeched, “Don’t you dare say that! Don’t you dare pretend to know what I’m going through!”
Pinkie sobbed, “We all loved him, Twilight! I loved him too!”
Twilight laughed, harsh and bitter. “You loved him! We all loved him! And now he’s gone! Gone gone gone!” Her voice hitched. “He was just a baby, Pinkie. Just a little baby.”
Pinkie pleaded, “I know. It’s not fair, but you can’t do this! It’s not fair to us ! It’s not fair to me.”
Twilight turned her back to the pink pony and raised the knife from the circular bowl it had been resting in. She dragged the blade across her wrist with a wince of pain and allowed dark drops of blood to pool in the bowl beneath.
Pinkie screamed, “Please , Twilight! Please stop!”
Twilight ignored her, slicing the bottom of her hoof.
Pinkie bit through her lip, the taste of her own blood pooling in her mouth. “Twilight, please.” Her voice came out soft, pleading. “Please. I love you.”
Twilight’s ear twitched, apparently registering the confession. Her hooves stilled, blade pointed dangerously towards her chest.
Softly, Twilight responded. “I’m sorry.”
A howl of pain, vast and unfathomable, echoed through the library; Pinkie raced forward as the magic restraints dissipated and she clutched the dying unicorn to her chest. She sobbed as Twilight’s eyes unfocused and a genuine smile crept across the unicorn’s face.
Pinkie lowered her head to rest on Twilight’s forehead and she heard the softest whisper escape from Twilight’s mouth, “Come back, Spike.”
As Twilight grew immobile in her grasp, Pinkie heard the door to the library open, followed by the click clacking of claws on the wooden floor.
Pinkie buried her face in the reddening fur of Twilight’s chest and wailed heartwrenching sobs, accented by the steady thumps of footsteps coming up the stairs.
The door to the inner portion slowly creaked open.
Pinkie collapsed to the floor.
--Author's Notes--
There was a reason she and Fluttershy weren’t a couple. A really good reason.
Rainbow Dash pulled her goggles down over her eyes and began warming up for her morning’s exercises.
It wasn’t that Fluttershy wasn’t a great pony. And it wasn’t that Dash didn’t find her attractive, because Celestia knows that that silky pink mane and those sleek yellow feathers made Dash’s stomach do backflips and those greenish blue eyes made her heart do somersaults.
Stretch. Her wings stretched out to their full length, trembling slightly as she felt muscles pulling and tingling after being static for so long. She arched her back with a sigh, shaking the sleep out of her shoulders and the weariness from her bones.
No. Fluttershy was an amazing pony. Dash knew that better than anyone. ‘Shy was her best friend; she’d been her best friend for years and years now. They’d met at flight camp. Yeah, that was a memory that would never fade: those terrified eyes gaping up at her, feathers mussed, lip bleeding. That small voice begging for Dash not to hurt her.
Dash trotted up to the edge of the cloud and peered down at the ground below. It was quiet. Nopony was out yet, and the sun barely peered over the horizon in a dull orange that only just began to pierce through the dark purple of night. Dash closed her eyes and let herself fall backwards off her perch. Wind whistled in her ears as she plummeted towards the ground.
Dash would never hurt her. Not on purpose. She had chased those other ponies away, and she had helped the poor lanky filly back onto her hooves. She made a promise that day to protect her, to be her defender. She still remembered that burst of pride she had felt when that small yellow pony had smiled and called her her hero. Dash never wanted anything more than to hear her say that again. And so she kept the bullies away.
Without opening her eyes she felt it, the need to right herself and fly. She was getting to close to the ground. Pull up. Pull up. But Dash was in control. She wasn’t a slave to her instincts. So she kept falling. Down down down.
Junior Speeders came and Dash met Gilda. Her and the griffon hit it off immediately, but ‘Shy seemed not to like her. Dash never understood why, and it soon became apparent that a rift was forming in their relationship. ‘Shy never visited when Gilda was around, so Dash rarely saw her at all. Gilda rolled her eyes and suggested Dash just give up on her. ‘Shy was a big filly now, she could take care of herself.
Dash flared out her wings, being careful to not extend them too far and have them snap back with the force of the air whipping past her. She felt herself lift up with a jerk, and then she was gliding. She opened her eyes to see how close she had come to the ground; the rooftop of Sugarcube Corner was level to her shoulder, she had come extremely close to danger. She coasted on for a few moments more.
‘Shy had shown up at her door one night, bruised and limping. Dash ignored Gilda’s heckling and did her best to fix the shuddering pony up. She wasn’t skilled with bandages or anything, but she tried her best to soothe her friend all the same. ‘Shy finally admitted that a few mares had attacked her on her way back to her room. She didn’t know why. Dash felt old rage building up inside of her; she had been an idiot. ‘Shy was her responsibility, she was supposed to protect her. Dash stormed out of the room, ignoring ‘Shy’s pleas for her to stay. She was going to make up for lost time.
Dash flapped her wings in strong, long strokes, taking herself higher and higher until she burst through morning clouds. Beads of water clung to her mane and rolled off the glass of her goggles, and she shook herself dry. She climbed higher still. She needed to go higher.
Of course she had gotten in trouble. The head mare couldn’t pry an answer from Dash about why she had assailed three, innocent fillies. Dash sat in her chair and took the verbal punishment in stride. She had made sure that those fillies would never touch Fluttershy again, and she had done it with only a black eye and a chipped tooth to show for it. Dash hadn’t expected ‘Shy to bust in and take the blame. No matter what Dash said to the contrary, the head mare was much more inclined to believe ‘Shy’s story than Dash’s. Fluttershy had been sent home, and Dash heard that she had made a trip to the ground and never came back. Her ‘Shy was gone and she’d failed.
The air was thin up here, and Rainbow Dash stopped her ascent to hover. She looked down at the ground which was barely a mass of green and brown shapes. Clouds floated lazily along, obscuring the ground below. She twisted herself around and shot back down like a rocket.
All of that was in the past. ‘Shy never wanted to talk about it, and Dash was kind of grateful for that. But it still burned in the back of her mind constantly. She had decided that she would still be there for ‘Shy, she would still protect her as best as she could. Even though ‘Shy was becoming more and more able to protect herself, Dash swore that she wouldn’t let Fluttershy be hurt so badly again.
This was different from falling; she was propelling herself down, racing towards the ground, and going to meet it like an old friend. There was no fear or hesitation, there was no gentle apathy, but there was a thrill and a rush as she closed the gap between sky and land.
So why was it that despite Pinkie’s teasing and Applejack’s insistence that Dash couldn’t ask Fluttershy on a date? Why was it that Rarity’s advice and Twilight’s subtle hints couldn’t goad her into taking another step forward? Why was it that ‘Shy’s glances that lingered a bit too long and her shy advances were ignored and brushed off? It was simple really.
She would pull up. She always pulled up. She wasn’t stupid or suicidal. But she would let the earth get a little bit closer. Just a little bit more…
She had to protect ‘Shy. She couldn’t let her get hurt. So despite the ache in her chest and the desire in her heart, she couldn’t do that to her. She had to keep bad ponies away from her Fluttershy, even if those bad ponies were herself.
She pulled up. The force from her descent hummed and snapped around her, and she shot upwards with blinding speed. A multi hued shockwave exploded around her, and she knew that she was trailing a rainbow behind her.
She would stick around, and when ‘Shy found a nice pony that could love her without hurting her she would pretend to be happy. Her Fluttershy deserved the best. So Dash would make sure she got nothing less.
--Author's Notes---
Again this was a submission to Thirty Minute Ponies and as such was written in thirty minutes under the prompt: "It’s clear to everypony that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are a couple. Everypony except Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy ." I hope you enjoyed it.
Sweet Music- Slice of Life
“Let me get this straight,” Twilight Sparkle rubbed her eyes with a tired hoof, balancing her spectacles precariously on her forehead. “You want to become my apprentice?”
Sweetie Belle nodded enthusiastically, but said nothing.
Twilight lowered her hoof to the floor with a clack. “And it’s not magic that you want me to teach you, but rather you want to learn about music?”
“Yes.” Sweetie Belle’s voice was sweet and chiming, one could very well liken it to a bell if they were so inclined. It had been a while since her voice had stopped cracking and squeaking, but it still sounded so odd to Twilight to hear the once small filly sounding like a proper grown up. She had grown, too, and could now look Twilight right in the eyes with a pleading look that reminded Twilight of the white unicorn’s sister.
Sweetie Belle said no more than the single word, imploring Twilight with those huge green eyes to give in. To say yes. Twilight felt that familiar tug in her chest, that same desire to do whatever it was the mare wanted that came when Rarity used it on her. Of course that would be the knowledge Rarity would pass on to her sibling once it became apparent that Sweetie shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a pair of scissors much less needles.
“But why?” Twilight groaned. “Why would you ask me out of all the ponies you could ask to teach you music? I’m about as qualified for that as I am to teach scuba diving.”
Sweetie Belle shook her head, those buoyant, pastel pink and purple curls dipping into her eyes with each movement. “You sing all the time, Twilight! Like at your brother’s wedding! And at Rarity’s! And at Fluttershy’s! You’re really good at it!”
Twilight bit her lip. She had indeed sung at many a wedding, but it wasn’t as though singing was her talent or even that she was very good. It had been a special favor each time, and she had never been so nervous as each time she had put a microphone to her lips.
“Why don’t you ask Pinkie?” Twilight lit up. “Yes! Surely Pinkie is much more qualified to teach you about the nuances of songcrafting. She practically invented it!”
Sweetie Belle’s smile drooped into a pout. “I did ask Pinkie.”
Twilight cocked her head in confusion. “She said no? I can’t imagine Pinkie turning down an opportunity like this.”
Sweetie Belle scuffed a hoof across the ground. “She said that she doesn’t know how she does what she does. She says that she can only sing when the timing calls for it.”
Twilight furrowed her brow. “When the timing calls for it? What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.” Sweetie Belle shrugged. “But she told me that I should come and ask you.” She stretched a goofy grin across her cheeks and spoke in a terrible impression of Pinkie’s voice, “‘If there’s one pony that could teach you it’s Twilight! Because not only is she the bestest most smartest pony, she’s also a super amazing fantastical singer!’”
Sweetie arched an eyebrow at Twilight who broke eye contact with a wavering chuckle.
“Oh that Pinkie,” Twilight turned to a bookshelf and began removing books and replacing them at random. “Such a kidder!”
Sweetie Belle sidled up next to Twilight, attempting to lock eyes again without success. “So…?”
Twilight paused, a volume about relative space floating in the air between them. Sweetie had grown so much since her crusading days. She was now a full grown mare with a cutie mark all her own. Oh how Rarity had pranced around for days acting like she herself had discovered her own special talent instead of her little sister. Rarity would often boast about how Sweetie would be a shining star in Canterlot or Manehatten once she got the proper training.
But Twilight wasn’t the proper training Sweetie needed. She couldn’t possibly do any good for the little mare, could she?
Twilight asked, softly, “Are you sure you have no better options?”
Sweetie paused for a few moments before nodding. “There’s nopony else.”
Twilight closed her eyes and remembered, just for a moment, Rarity and all their friends. The days back then were filled with adventure and craziness that had made each quiet moment sacred. But now things were quiet. Ponies had gone their separate ways, and nothing threatened the peace. Perhaps she had gotten a bit lonely in her studies recently. The subjects were growing thin and her eyes were getting tired.
She gazed up at the old worn bookshelves and her eyes rested on a white tome that she had never taken the time to read before. She grasped it with her magic and floated it down to eye level without a word. “Musical Theory” is said in gold lettering along the spine.
Twilight smiled despite herself. Perhaps it was time to focus on other things for awhile.
She looked over to see Sweetie who was barely suppressing a gleeful expression, and she chuckled.
“Alright.”
Sweetie’s eyes widened and her smile finally broke through. “Really?”
Twilight nodded. “I don’t know a lot about the formal mechanics of music, but perhaps we can learn together?”
Sweetie threw her forearms around Twilight’s neck and squealed, “Thank you Twilight! Thank you thank you thank you!”
Twilight hugged the not so little filly back. It was hard not to cry when Sweetie’s white shoulder reminded her of some other shoulder that she missed so dearly.
But the weight of the situation lifted when Sweetie whispered in Twilight’s ear, “Maybe we can invite Pinkie over some time and see if you can’t inspire the timing to call for her to sing.”
Sweetie danced out of reach as Twilight took a playful swing at her. Their laughs mingled and it seemed as though they were already well on their way to learning to make music together.
---Author's Comments---One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders becomes an apprentice for one of the Mane Six after their Cutie Mark appears " Hope you enjoyed!
