Never call princess Celestia fat.

by Neon the Baby Pegasus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1027

A troll fic to make fun of the NLR and Solar empire.

Okay, This story is a troll fic; it’s not to be taken seriously any way shape or form. This is what happens when you get someone who is as hyperactive as Pinkie pie and give them 3 24 ounce Mountain Dew’s and two chocolate chip crème-pie cookies. I do not support Trollestia, tyrant Celestia, or Molestia even though the tumblr is hilarious. This story is inspired by the too fat polka. I hope you find it funny as I do. This was made to make fun of the NLR and the Solar empire. The idea of a war when it was'nt even Luna who wanted ever lasting night,and loves her sister is completly Asinine and annoying.

Feel free to dislike without reason. This is a troll fic after all. Even if i did it to be funny ^^

Published 2012-06-09 05:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-09 05:24:01 UTC

Never call Princess Celestia fat

If you have'nt read the deciption go read it before you read this please.

Never call princess Celestia fat

It was a beautiful day in Canterlot, the birds were singing, the sun was shining, and all the ponies in the kingdom seemed as happy as they could be. All of them. That is, except for one. Princess Celestia sat on the balcony of her private chambers looking down upon Canterlot; wondering just who it was had teleported a phonograph into her room that played a most inappropriate song. Something to the lines of I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me.

Celestia had heard about this new lunar Republic that was trying to spread rumors that she was a tyrant, but she knew it was just a bunch of overzealous foals trying to usurp power by trying to pit her against her sister; Princess Luna was the princess of the night sky and raiser of the moon.

However, one thousand years ago she had succumbed to her darkest feelings, and became a mare known as Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon had wanted only one thing, eternal night. in her quest to obtain everlasting night she had gathered up a group of followers, and attempted to overthrow Celestia. This group was known as the lunar Republic. However, once the rebellion was quashed and Nightmare Moon banished to the moon the lunar Republic were captured and punished.

This of course gained princess Celestia a few enemies who spread it around Equestria that the princess was a tyrannical ruler who would banish any pony to the moon, or kill them if they offended her even the tiniest bit, Celestia sighed at this memory. Even her most faithful student Twilight Sparkle was afraid of her teacher. She was so afraid to the point that even though Celestia had never given any kind of deadline on friendship reports. She flipped out, and caused the whole of Ponyville to fight over a doll in her desperation to have a friendship report ready for princess Celestia. However, in Twilight's case. She was afraid she would banish her back to magic kindergarten instead of the moon.

“I wonder when the next one will show up?” Sighed Celestia coming back in from the balcony of her room.
No sooner were the words out of her mouth. Then a magical music player floated in front of her face playing the offending song

“I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me, way too fat for me, oh much too fat for me.” Her left temple twitched in annoyance, her horn glowed with magic, and with a comical crunch the music player was smashed in Celestia’s aura. Celestia then headed back to the balcony and yelled for all of Canterlot to hear.

“Whomever thinks it's so funny to continue to call your princess fat had better stop with their music assault before I get seriously upset. Just because your princess enjoys a slice of cake every day does not give you the right to call her fat.”

Celestia then went back inside to a massive surprise. Ten phonographs suddenly appeared before her. Each of them playing the too fat polka.

“That is it!” Screeched Celestia flying out the castle and into the center of Canterlot; tears of fury running down her face.

"You think it's so funny to call me fat; fine then. Let's see how funny it is when you all have to show up to Canterlot Castle in two hours. Each of you will be given a truth telling potion, and when I find out just who is calling me fat, you will see just truly how unpleasant your princess can be.” Ordered Celestia teleporting the whole of Canterlot into the dungeons to wait for two hours until she began to question them.
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A few hours later Celestia had twenty ponies in front of her. Each one of them had a banana shoved up their plot, and were tied up, also It was obvious that they had also been molested.

Now then my little ponies; since you have now experienced what it would be like if all those rumors about me were true. I have one question for you. Do you like bananas?

"No. Princess please!" begged the group. For they knew what that question meant, it meant their fates were sealed.They were going to experience what the princess of the night had experienced for a thousand years.

"Just answer the question." Laughed Celestia malevolently.

"But Princess!" Whined one of the ponies; this one just a filly.

"Don't you but Princess me. You knew what would happen if you continue to torment me with that ridiculous song, and yet even after I warned you; you continued to accost your princess with it." Said Celestia spanking the filly with the riding crop.

"Now, I will ask you again, Do you like bananas." Said Celestia laughing coldly, and continuing to hit the filly until several yes's and no's sounded.

"Okay then I have two answers for you my little ponies. For those who answered yes, I know where you're going to go bananas. On the moon, bitch, and for the ponies who answered no. Well, I know where you're not gonna find any bananas. On the moon,bitch."

The room then filled with a Golden aura, and the last thing the ponies had heard before they found themselves on the moon was Celestia's mocking laughter.

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"Oh you should've been there Lulu. It was hilarious. Those fools begging for their lives after they had the gall to call their Princess fat. Oh it was so delicious." Laughed Celestia tears pouring down her face as she ate her last bite of cake.

"Oh Tia we have missed you so. We hast forgotten how funny thou couldest be!" Laughed Luna; tears also pouring own her face from laughing.

"I missed you too Lulu. It was hard finding someone who could keep up with my pranks,but now that you're back. How about an old fashioned prank war?" Asked Celestia grinning.

"Oh thou arst on Tia." Answered Luna.