It's Not a Crime If You Don't Get Caught
Manehattan never slept. That was what ponies everywhere said. It was like a giant, breathing organism, but instead of blood cells and oxygen, it had townsponies and carriages. It hummed, they said, vibrated. Pulsed like a gargantuan beating heart.
Ponies said many things, but it turned out that even a thriving city would eventually slow down and turn silent at three in the morning on a week-day. Even ponies used to partying from dusk until dawn evidently decided to catch an early night when they had a nine-o'clock start the next day. It was funny how that worked.
Even so, Rainbow had to admit it didn't stop completely. In Ponyville, night-time was as if everypony stopped existing. In Manehattan, there was always the sound of wheels on roads somewhere, even if it was far away. There was always the promise of one pony still awake and alive, even if it was behind closed doors, or tucked away in an alley. Even if that pony was her.
The hotel room was small, but comfortable. It was the sort of room that somepony with a surprising amount of excess income might rent out for a weekend getaway without putting a dent in their wallet. Seven floors down was a restaurant that served decent, if unimpressive, food from seven until ten. If she booked in advance, she could secure a perfectly serviceable dinner. It was a basic hotel. It had nothing special about it whatsoever. In a few years, it'd probably change its name to something equally unassuming, and live out its existence being curiously absent from history.
It did have one thing that was special about it, though. It was across the street from a very interesting building. Rainbow's eyes scanned the opposite side of the street. Come daytime, the walls were a sandy sort of brown. Columns designed to impress were carved onto the sides, and the windows actually had windowsills with actual flowers, and looked like they could keep the warm in. Daunting looking staircases provided a comfortable place to sit in summer at street level, and a slipping hazard during winter. Behind the windows were luxurious curtains that could double as silk sheets in a less wealthy home.
The hotel was boring and empty. The apartments that were the focus of Rainbow's attention were fascinating.
Dawn was still a few hours away. Plenty of time to put Operation Stealth Infiltration in action.
"Okay," she said, keeping her voice low so as to not wake up any of the other ponies in the adjacent rooms, "We know the plan. We've got the gear. Let's get started!"
Fluttershy, the only other pony in the room, covered her ears. Any minute now, she'd hear the sound of glass breaking. They'd likely get arrested...
Plink-thunk!
Fluttershy opened her eyes again. Rainbow grinned, and threw her crossbow to the side.
The thick, meaty cable snapped taut as Rainbow tugged at it and wrapped it around the legs of the bed. She stepped back to admire her handiwork. One end of the rope was tied to the secure, heavy, king-sized-extra-plus double bed she had specifically ordered, and the other was attached to a nasty looking metal bolt that was, in turn, stuck fast in the thick sandy-coloured walls on the building facing her.
Her makeshift bridge was complete.
"And you said I'd break a window with this thing," Rainbow commented.
***
"I don't see why you can't just fly over," Fluttershy pointed out, looking at the heavy duty crossbow Rainbow had left lying on the bed. "This seems like an awful lot of effort..."
"Because grapple-hooks are stealthy, Fluttershy," Rainbow snapped, pointing at her elaborate diagram, and the coloured-in drawing of the hook-arrow device. "As you can clearly see, slowly crawling across a rope from one side of the street from the other, suspended over the road, is *way less obvious than flying." She pointed to her wings. "The air displaced by our feathers would tip them off! The sound of the wind, Fluttershy, remember?"*
"And the sound of a giant, pointy piece of metal hitting their wall..." Fluttershy began, tentatively examining the steel bolt in question. Rainbow snorted.
"Plus, Daring Do does it *all the time." She narrowed her eyes. "Do you know as much about stealth as Daring Do?"*
"Um..."
"I didn't think so!" Rainbow turned her attention to the next stage of the plan, and tried to put having to work with Fluttershy at the back of her mind. Learning to go on daring missions with Fluttershy was something she didn't want to have to do. It was so much harder than with her regular partner.
***
Rainbow's hooves were wrapped around the cable. It was a peaceful evening, but at seven stories up, the breeze had gotten stronger and tugged at her small, muscular body. Her silhouette contrasted sharply with the lights in the sky, concealed as it was within a pitch black bodysuit.
Behind her, Fluttershy glided after her. Unfortunately, there hadn't been a bodysuit that could quite contain her mane, so she had opted to go without, much to Rainbow's distress. Yellow was definitely not stealthy, she had pointed out.
With each movement, Rainbow grunted. Athletic though she was, the unusual strain of hanging upside-down on a rope took a toll on her forelegs, hind legs, and abdomen. Inch by inch, she slid across the cable, closer and closer to the window on the other side.
When her hooves finally met the windowsill, she switched to her wings for just a second, and pulled herself up.
"Whew," she whispered. "That was tough." She turned back to face Fluttershy, and her face fell. "Hey, are you flying?"
"Um..."
"I thought we said, no flying. You'll get us caught!"
"Sorry. Rope climbing is very tiring..."
Rainbow ran her hoof across her face, and sucked in a mouthful of air through her teeth. "Never mind. Just pass me the key."
***
"Um, how do you expect to get inside?" Fluttershy asked, deciding to put aside her scepticism regarding the hook-bolt-cable-thing for the time being, and focus her attention on not letting her friend get arrested.
Rainbow slid a single, golden key across the the table. "Don't ask me where I got this, but it'll get the windows open," she said. "The windows have really super-advanced locks. If it wasn't for this handy little thing, we'd never be able to get to the hostage."
"Hostage? You mean Apple..."
"Quiet! You never know who might be listening." Rainbow snapped. "The enemy has had her for a whole three days! She's probably starving to death by now." She breathed heavily. "Who knows what diabolical things she's been subjected to!"
Fluttershy opted to, once again, let the matter drop. At least the key seemed like it was a good plan.
***
The window bounced against Rainbow's head violently, knocking her off the windowsill. Fluttershy darted to catch her falling friend, but Rainbow's instincts were faster. Her wings opened in a flash, and she was airborne.
"Ouch!" she exclaimed, rubbing her head. "What kind of stupid window opens outwards?!"
Fluttershy swallowed. "A lot of them?"
"Not in Cloudsdale. It must have been a booby-trap. The enemy is onto us!"
"Do you want me to open the window this time?"
Rainbow eyed her friend, flashing her a no-nonsense look. Fluttershy swallowed.
"I mean," she went on, "Disarm it?"
Rainbow gave her a curt nod, and looked at her slowly beating wings. "Jeez. Now I've had to fly too. Things just get worse and worse." She slung a large rucksack off her back and began rummaging around, her hoof scraping against cardboard. "At least phase three is foalproof."
***
"Cardboard boxes?"
"Proof against all but the *best security systems."*
***
Fluttershy held the window open for Rainbow. "I'm not... one-hundred-percent convinced we'll need the boxes."
Rainbow's eyes locked onto Fluttershy's. "Come again?"
"Well, they're big, they'll make noise sliding across the floor, and if somepony finds them, they'll know something's up, because there aren't any cardboard boxes lying around inside," Fluttershy said. She bit her lip. "In my opinion."
Rainbow tapped her chin.
"You know, that might be the first good piece of advice you've given so far." She dropped both large cardboard boxes. "Forget the boxes. Let's just walk in." She perched herself on the edge of the now open window. "Besides, it'd just get in the way of our next hurdle."
"Right," Fluttershy whispered.
***
"I bet now you're wondering what your part will be in this, huh, Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy examined the hoof-drawn diagram with a critical eye. It was as if it was written in code, she thought, but not due to any level of complexity. Rather, it was the sheer simplistic enthusiasm that permeated the piece of crumpled A3 paper that made it so difficult to understand. Sketches of alternate plans abounded near the corners and edges of the page. The phase including the cable was little more than a hastily drawn sketch of a line connecting two houses with a pony walking on top.
The pony bore a surprising resemblance to Daring Do, Fluttershy thought. And was that an explosion in the background...?
"I *was rather curious," she admitted, trying to follow Rainbow's somewhat non-linear logic. After the cable, what came next? There was a drawing of another pony, she noticed, but instead of looking anything like a 'normal' pony, this one had big sharp teeth and eyes coloured using red felt-tip pen.*
"We've got to get past their security system," Rainbow said. "And considering what we'll have in my saddle-bag, it'll be our toughest obstacle of them all."
***
Fluttershy peered around the corner of the wall, her ears flat against her head. Her every move and expression made her look as insignificant and small as possible.
Rainbow, by comparison, clung to the walls of the apartment like her wings were stuck to them with syrup. Her eyes darted left and right, scanning for any sign of movement. Her ears twitched from side to side, absorbing the small sounds in the apartment like a pair of acoustically oriented sponges.
"Where is it?" she whispered. Fluttershy swallowed.
"I don't know," she said. "I can't hear anything..."
Suddenly, there it was. The sound of scratching. It was a regular sound, like hoofsteps, but different. Instead of the smooth, polished surface of a hoof, whatever made this noise had claws.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pit-pat, pit-pat...
It got closer and closer. Rainbow Dash held her breath. Fluttershy couldn't stop herself from licking her lips in anticipation. Even the slightest loud noise would betray them, and Rainbow Dash couldn't afford to wake up the household. Her mission was too important: her partner was counting on her.
Around the corner of one of the many long corridors came a nose, black and shiny. It twitched as the rest of a long, refined head peered around the corner, and a pair of black eyes the size of marbles fell upon the two crouched pegasi, regardless of the dark. Against the creature's powerful nose, not even the pitch-black darkness of night could hide them.
Fluttershy let out a caged breath.
"Oh, I thought you'd be a big, bad, guard dog..." she muttered, slowly trotting towards the little poodle. Rainbow tensed.
The poodle gave a momentary thought towards barking. After all, these were intruders, and intruders were, by definition, pure evil. They ranked even higher than post-ponies on the spectrum of malice.
But... the one trotting towards it looked very nice and welcoming. Something about the yellow fur was comforting towards its animal brain.
The poodle tilted its head. Rainbow sucked air in through her teeth.
"Keep it quiet, Fluttershy! Before it smells..."
The poodle froze. Something in the other one's saddle-bags. Past the smell of sweat clinging to the black body-suit. Past the smell of old hayburger on her breath, and a dangerous cocktail of mane-products... past all that...
Fluttershy held up a small hoof-ful of treats, the far more immediate scent sweeping any secondary smells away. "Hey, little buddy. You look really hungry." She tilted her head. "And you could use a walk..."
Treats, the poodle thought. Not as nice as what was in those saddlebags, but definitely closer, more immediate. The poodle licked its lips as it hoovered up the contents of Fluttershy's hoof. The other intruder didn't look like it wanted to part with its delicious saddle-bag, but the other nice intruder might feed it all night long.
"What's your name, little guy?" Fluttershy asked, examining the animal's collar. "Oh, hello, Tangerine. It's nice to meet you."
"Psst," Rainbow whispered. "You got this?"
Fluttershy nodded. "Yes, I think we'll be the best of friends."
"Good. Once I'm in, initiate extraction plan gamma!"
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. "What about Alpha, beta, delta and... were there any others?"
"I start with gamma," Rainbow replied. "It's just how I roll. See you later!"
***
Rainbow spun the diagram around. "Once you've distracted security, I'll make my way to the hostage. Normally, it should be smooth sailing from there," she said.
Fluttershy tapped her chin. Even in the unassuming setting of the twin-bed hotel room, Rainbow's natural inborn energy managed to make even a crude sketch diagram look a little impressive. If you squinted a lot.
"You really are putting a lot of effort into this," she said. "It's really rather sweet."
Rainbow shook her head. "Not sweet. *Necessary. You know how she talks about these ponies, with their tiny meal portions and their fancy fru-fru parties." Rainbow squared her jaw. "She means way too much for me to leave her in there alone for this long. If it wasn't for railway works meaning she had to stay there for three whole days..."*
"I know," Fluttershy said, "But that's what I think is nice."
Rainbow snorted.
"Let's just get back to revising the plan."
***
Ting-a-ling-a-ling!
Rainbow's every muscle seized up, and her eyes shot wide open. The unexpected noise set made her heart faster than a coffee-addled drummer at a rock concert, and set every nerve on fire.
She felt a soft, silken sensation rub against her hind-leg.
From the far end of the corridor, Fluttershy's eyes snapped towards her friend. "Is that...?"
Rainbow swallowed. "I didn't account for the cat." She shut her eyes tight. "I didn't account for the cat!
If there was anything the Daring Do novels had taught her, it was that cats were the absolute worst. They had claws. They had teeth. They had no sense of compassion. They had snake eyes, for heaven's sake! It was like they were designed to be the evillest and most dangerous of household companions.
"Meow."
Barring perhaps parrots. Parrots could bite, and because they could talk, they'd tell Applejack you had nicked some apples from her harvest.
Fluttershy was at the far end of the hallway, still busy with Tangerine the poodle. Rainbow eyed her friend with despair. "What do I do?!"
"Just... say hello!"
Rainbow looked down at the savage looking tabby.
"Hi."
"Meow."
Rainbow felt close to tears. So close to her objective, yet so far. "It didn't work! It's still there!"
"It probably wants to be your friend," Fluttershy whispered. "Just stroke her under the chin!"
Rainbow swallowed. She didn't like touching animals with fur. Lizards and animals with scales was okay. That was perfect, even. They were dry and smooth, and nothing alive and wriggly could conceal itself in fur that didn't exist. Cats and dogs, however... How could Applejack stand letting Winona lie down with her at picnics? Rainbow wasn't exactly a shining example of hygiene, but that just struck her as unsanitary.
"Meow," the cat went, louder than before. Rainbow swallowed. She had no choice. For the op to succeed...
Her hoof crept towards the little animal's head. The cat rose on its hind legs, its head knocking against Rainbow's hoof. Rainbow versus cat. A battle for the ages.
"It's still not..."
"Give it a minute!"
"Meow."
"It'll wake the other ponies up!"
"Just calm down!"
The cat bounced onto Rainbow's back. Four sets of claws sank through the bodysuit and into Rainbow's skin.
"Meow."
"It's on me! It's on me!"
"Aw, widdle-kitty-cat is sleepy!"
"Meow."
"Get it off!"
"I need to stop Tangerine from going for the saddlebag, Rainbow." Fluttershy pet the poodle on the head. "He's being awfully well behaved."
Rainbow bit her lip. What would Daring Do do? Rainbow began to sweat. There were no convenient vines to swing on anywhere!
"Meow."
Rainbow heard movement from behind one of the doors. The shuffling of hooves. The rustling of sheets. Rainbow froze. Somepony was coming.
"Fluttershy! Hide!"
"Mreaow!" the cat exclaimed as it was dislodged from Rainbow's back in a flurry of motion.
One of the doors opened, silently swinging aside to reveal a tall, if elderly, stallion. He blinked.
Then blinked again.
The cat sat in the corridor, eyeing him with half-open eyes. It bore a look of silent protest at having been thrown from its comfortable perch on Rainbow's tailbone and dock and onto the floor.
"Meow."
The stallion sighed.
"You hungry, Miss Tabitha?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Meow."
"Of course you are," he grunted, trotting down the hall. "Why couldn't you be well-behaved like Tangerine... Waking me up in the middle of the night, for shame..."
From above, clinging to the ceiling like a spider, Rainbow remained utterly still. Her hooves were jammed against the sides of the walls, keeping her in place. Her whole body shook under the strain. She expended every muscle in her abdomen to keep her from breathing louder than the most silent of whispers.
The old stallion trotted into the kitchen, the cat hot on his heels. Its little bell rang with every step.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling!
From behind a table, Fluttershy looked with wide, frightened eyes. Her forelegs were wrapped around Tangerine, keeping the little poodle quiet. Any movement might betray either one of them.
Sweat dripped down Rainbow’s body, only to be absorbed into the bodysuit.
"Here you go," the stallion said, dropping a bowl of food down. "Now don't go waking up the entire house again. My wife and niece need their sleep, after all..."
Miss Tabitha the cat began to eat, apparently satisfied with this arrangement. The stallion trotted back to his room, passing underneath Rainbow without seeing or hearing her.
The door closed. Everypony relaxed.
"Whew," Rainbow sighed. "That was a close one."
She climbed down, letting her wings take most of her weight, and looked over at Miss Tabitha, eating heartily.
"Psht," she grunted. "Cats."
She then turned towards one of the many doors in the house. Despite her crude diagrams, she had actually planned this part out very carefully. A detailed inspection of the place beforehand had revealed which room she needed to enter.
The round brass doorknob glinted in the dark. This was it. Rainbow rubbed her hooves together, licking her lips.
"Thanks, Fluttershy," she muttered, although this far away her friend couldn't hear her. Her hooves wrapped around the doorknob, and Rainbow entered the room.
***
"It's just for a few days, sugar'," Applejack assured Rainbow as she stuffed some odd items, like an alarm-clock and a spare hat, into a saddle-bag. "I'll be back eventually."
Rainbow sighed, sprawled across the couch. "Yeah, but you *hate Manehattan," she said. "You always say how much you don't like it there."*
Applejack nodded. "Now, that there's true, but this is as much a business call as it is me meetin' up with my family," she said. "And believe me, I'd love for you to be there, but the Oranges just don't like talkin' business 'n front of ponies they don't know."
Rainbow groaned. "Yeah, but *three days?!"*
Applejack sighed. "Ain't nothin' for it. We need to settle the agreement between the Oranges and Apples by tomorrow, an' the train will out of service 'cause of repairs. It's a one-way trip for a few days."
"You could just take a cab."
"I could, but I'd rather not spend a hundred bits on a trip from Manehattan to Ponyville," she said. "And I ain't keen on walkin' neither."
"But what am *I supposed to do in the meantime?"*
Applejack nuzzled Rainbow affectionately. "I dunno. Ya'll could catch up on your readin'?" she suggested. "Applebloom's been readin' these books 'bout secret agents and dangerous missions 'n stuff. Sounds right up your alley."
Rainbow let her hooves fall to the side as Applejack went to leave. "Whatever."
"Bye, sugarcube," Applejack said with a smile. "Don't do anythin' silly without me."
***
"Psst."
Applejack didn't stir.
"Psst!" Rainbow gave Applejack a nudge. "Hey! Wake up!"
The farmpony's eyes drifted open. "Wh...what in tarn..." Her eyes widened. "Rainbow?"
"Shh!" Rainbow snapped, plastering her hoof across Applejack's face. "This is a covert op!"
"Mmf-mmh-hmm-mmh?"
Rainbow removed her hoof. Applejack sat up, and flicked the switch of her expensive looking bedside lamp. Rainbow was lit up in a golden light, revealing her pitch-black bodysuit and matching black saddlebag.
"What in tarnation are ya'll doin'?" Applejack whispered. "You're... This is Manehattan!" She struggled for words for a second, her mouth opening and closing as her mind raced. "You're in Manehattan! Why are you in Manehattan?!"
"Well, y'know when you said 'don't do anything silly without me'?"
"Yup."
"Well, I'm technically with you now, so I actually kept my word, in a manner of speaking." Rainbow rummaged around in her saddlebag. "Anyway, I remembered you talking about your uncle and aunt's place, and I figured you could use some supplies."
Applejack sniffed the air. "Is that...?"
Rainbow nodded, pulling a long, oblong shape wrapped in paper out of her bag. "Yup! A three cheese daisy sandwich with mustard and mayo, complete pickles and soya sausages." She chuckled as Applejack let slip a sliver of drool. "I figure it's gonna' hit the spot after all those 'darn tiny portions' your family makes."
Applejack's hooves gently stroked the top of the large double-hoof-long sandwich Rainbow held in front of her. "I've been eatin' nothin' but fancy dishes for three days straight!" she muttered, devouring the sandwich with her eyes. "I got looked at funny for splashin' out and havin' a second spoonful o' beans."
"Well, no funny looks here," Rainbow said, as her hoof dove back into the bag to retrieve a second sandwich. "I got one for myself too."
By the time Rainbow had unwrapped her own, half of Applejack's had already disappeared. The smell of mustard and three different types of cheese wafted across from the now ravaged sandwich. Rainbow swiftly devoured her own as well.
"How'd you... gulp... get past Tangerine?"
"I brought Fluttershy along," Rainbow explained in-between mouthfuls. "I figured if anypony could get me past an animal..."
"How's she gonna' get out?"
"I told her to leave by the window and lock it behind her so as to not arouse suspicion."
Applejack frowned. "What 'bout you?"
Rainbow chuckled. "I don't have anywhere to be," she said, and slid under the sheets next to Applejack. "Scooch over."
***
Everypony has that one friend they can do whatever they want with. They might not be their best friend. In fact, they might barely be friends at all. Rarity didn’t have many ponies she could talk fashion with all day long. She could maybe squeeze an hour and a half out of Fluttershy, if she threw a trip to the spa into the bargain. But if you put her in the same room as her old friend Twinkle-Toes from school you might not see her for days.
Rainbow could do a lot of things. She could swing on ropes, fly at low-altitude, or start (and hopefully finish) a decent fight. But she couldn’t really do that with Fluttershy or Pinkie. No, there was only one pony she could get into a high-speed cart chase with, and thankfully, she was now with her for the second half of her unorthodox sandwich delivery. The world was as it should be.
Break-ins should only be attempted with that one friend, after all. Fluttershy might distract a poodle for her, but Applejack would help Rainbow bury the body if the poodle hadn't gone quietly.
As Rainbow closed her eyes at close to five in the morning, she smiled.
“Oh, by the way…”
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t actually plan my way out at all,” she said, before drifting off. “G’night.”
***
Mosely Orange woke up early. It was only proper. Early to rise, early to bed, that was what he always said. His wife tended to agree with him, and therefore the entire penthouse became as alive as any other come six-thirty.
The hoofsteps outside drew Rainbow from her slumber. She blinked, the morning light leaking in-between the curtains and through her eyelids. She moaned, and tightened her grip around Applejack's waist.
"What is it with your family and early starts?" she muttered into the farmpony's mane.
"What is it with you and breakin' into my uncle's penthouse without thinkin’ of a way out?"
Her partner snorted.
"Oh, as soon as the sandwich is gone, all of a sudden breaking and entering becomes a crime, huh?"
Applejack sighed, rubbing her eyes. "I ain't never said I wasn't grateful. But how am I supposed to explain to Mosely why my special somepony decided to break into his house whilst everypony was asleep?" She sat herself up straight. "There ain't no 'sorry' card for breakin' an' enterin'."
"It's fine," Rainbow said. "I just won't be seen. These guys'll leave the house eventually, right? You'll just sneak me out then, and they'll never have to know."
Applejack stroked her chin. "You don't get it. Everythin's proper with my aunt an' uncle. We have breakfast together, at this big table in-between the bedrooms and the door. So ya'll can't get out that way. We got a butler, so there'll always be somepony in the house. We get guests visitin' for business now an' then, so ya'll might get trapped in a crowd..."
Rainbow shrugged. "Hey, you're forgetting that I'm the pony who sneaked in here in the first place. I can stay hidden."
"What 'bout the dog?"
"Well, I figure, he's left me alone all night. I bet he's just got used to me now I've got rid of the sandwiches."
There was a stern, businesslike knock at the door. Both Applejack and Rainbow froze stiff, but it was Applejack who came to her senses first, throwing the sheet over Rainbow's head and leaping to her hooves.
"Comin'!" she shouted, hoping that Rainbow would just stay still, and whoever it was would leave quickly.
"Did you mean 'coming'," came a voice muffled by the thick wooden door, "Or perhaps 'come in'?"
Applejack grunted. "As in, I'm on my way," she replied, and opened the door. Standing tall and upright, not unlike a flagpole, was a pony dressed in an elegant suit. A thin, prim moustache adorned his upper lip. "Mornin', Silverware."
"Good morning, Mistress Applejack," the butler replied, holding out a small cup on a dainty plate. "Tea?"
Applejack swallowed, moving herself in-between him and the bed. "Yup, sure. Thanks. Um."
"Breakfast shall be served in ten minutes," Silverware said. He tilted his head. "Your bed is looking awfully lumpy this morning."
"Um. It's just an extra pillow."
"Ah." Silverware nodded in understanding. "I see." He gave the bed a second look. "Is this perhaps one of those new breathing pillows I have heard so much about?"
"Breathin' pill... Uh, yup. Breathin'. It's a special relaxin' pillow I got."
"And complete with a tail, too," Silverware pointed out. Applejack turned back to look at Rainbow's tail just barely sticking out from under the sheets. In a flash, it disappeared. She went very quiet.
"Uh..."
"Whatever will ponies think of next. Breathing pillows with tails." Silverware turned to leave. "Shall I prepare coffee for you at the table?"
"Uh..."
"Of course, Mistress Applejack," Silverware said, and trotted away. Applejack slowly let the door close.
Rainbow's head popped out from under the quilt.
"Jeez, that was a close one," she said.
Applejack didn't reply. She was too busy being very thankful it was Silverware, not Mosely or her aunt, that had opened the door.
***
Applejack peered around the corner, scanning the large room for any sign of life. She could hear movement inside her uncle's bedroom, so she knew at least one of them wasn't out and about... But she couldn't tell if they were both inside, and there was always the butler. At this point, Applejack was almost certain he had figured out she hadn't been alone, but that didn't mean she wanted to be discovered again.
The room's centrepiece was a large dining table. Tucked in the corner were a few couches, making up an elegant living area. The large windows let in a sea of sunlight, illuminating the inside better than any lamp.
The way was clear. On the opposite side of the table was the exit. All Applejack had to do was get Rainbow there...
"C'mon," she whispered, and pulled the pegasus out from behind her. "Quick. Ya'll never know when..."
She heard a door open. Her adrenaline spiking, she changed course, and shoved Rainbow under the table. The tablecloth would keep her mostly hidden...
"Good morning, Applejack," Mosely said, trotting into the room from the corridor. Applejack gave Rainbow a solid kick, sending any part of her still on the visible side of the tablecloth into hiding. Mosely yawned. "Did you have a nice night?"
Applejack chuckled.
"Uh, yup. Very peaceful," she said. Mosely sighed.
"The darn cat woke me up. At around four in the morning, no less."
Applejack frowned. Four in the morning was when Rainbow had showed up...
She narrowed her eyes. Rainbow had said she hadn't been noticed. At all. She'd have to have a word with her about...
"Anyway," Mosely went on, "How about breakfast?" He trotted to the table. "Silverware looks like he's done a good job this morning. Coffee?"
Applejack shook her awkwardness off and nodded. "Uh, sure thing."
Under the table, she heard a small scraping noise. She pursed her lips. How Rainbow hadn't woken up the entire building last night was a complete mystery.
She snatched an orange from the table and began peeling. It was a small, almost inconsequential orange, but it'd do for breakfast. At least she had a decent meal the night before. She could still taste the soya-sausages...
She felt Rainbow's hoof brush against hers. She sighed.
"I'll go and see what's taking Diane so long," Mosely said, scratching his chin. "Do start eating without me: let's not stand on ceremony."
Applejack swallowed. 'Not standing on ceremony' still meant taking astronomical amounts of time to eat a minuscule mouthful and never having more than a square inch of food on her plate at any given moment. Still, she took the opportunity to pass Rainbow one of the extraordinarily tiny oranges.
She might have tried getting Rainbow out the door if Silverware hadn't shown up just then.
"I seem to have found a metal item stuck outside the window. Shall I pack it in your luggage along with the black bodysuit and the half-eaten sandwich I found in your room?"
Applejack rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"Yes," she muttered. "Yes, just... put it with the rest."
"As you wish, miss."
Rainbow winced when Applejack's hoof connected with her sides again. "Ow!"
"You used a grapplin' hook?!"
"More like a big arrow, really."
"If my uncle finds out, I'm a dead pony!"
"Jeez, it was just one. It only damaged the outside a little."
Applejack seethed. "Just... shut up, and eat your orange," she said as Mosely and Diane Orange arrived. She forced an innocent smile onto her lips. "Mornin', auntie!"
***
Breakfast might have seemed like a pleasant affair on the surface, as Diane Orange daintily sipped orange juice and spread marmalade on a slice of toast, but to Applejack, it felt more like a stand-off. Her uncle and aunt tended towards keeping their legs straight when they sat down, which was the only thing keeping them from knocking their hooves against Rainbow's barely concealed body. Worse was Rainbow's appetite. More than once did Applejack have to slip another orange under the table without anypony noticing or else have to put up with her partner's incessant tapping and prodding.
"It has been really nice having you over, dear," Diane said with a smile. "I hope you enjoyed visiting the big city."
Applejack nodded. "Sure, it was real nice. I particularly liked..." She paused at the memory. "...the opera."
"They sent you to the opera?! That's barbaric!"
Mosely froze mid-bite. "What was that?"
Applejack loudly poured herself another glass of juice, hoping the noise would distract her uncle from Rainbow's unhelpful outburst. "Ahem."
Diane sighed. "We kept hearing about you visiting the city on your little adventures," she went on, "But it was very nice for us to actually see you for a change."
Applejack swallowed. "Well, y'know I run a busy schedule an' all..."
Mosely nodded. "Oh, I know. We're not unhappy or anything. We just rather enjoy getting to catch up... outside of family business, of course."
Diane flashed a picture-perfect grin. "Not that you haven't grown into a very successful businesspony," she said. Applejack returned the smile. "I remember when you were little..."
Mosely rolled his eyes. "Oh, dear, I'm sure Applejack doesn't want to hear about..."
"Indulge me, darling," Diane replied. "Do you remember when you came to live with us for a while?"
Applejack nodded, keenly aware of Rainbow listening into the conversation. "Yup. It was before I got my cutie-mark."
"We were very glad to have somepony else around the house," Diane went on. "You had such a way with ponies. The way you could talk to them like you had always lived here impressed everypony."
"We were rather upset when you decided to go home," Mosely said. "But by the looks of things, you've been doing all right."
Applejack went very quiet. She wasn't completely sure what it was she was supposed to say. "Uh, thanks." She scratched the back of her head. "It was nice bein' here. I'm sorry I didn't visit more often, it's just farm-life gets real busy, y'know?"
Mosely sucked his teeth for a moment. "For what it's worth, I think you'd have made an excellent city pony," he said.
The conversation at the table had suddenly gone against Applejack. Instead of being worried about her aunt or uncle accidentally discovering Rainbow by kicking or, or if her partner sneezed, she felt targeted. Every pair of eyes (including Rainbows, she imagined) was fixed on her. She swallowed.
"No disrespect meant," she said, "But I wouldn't have made a great city-pony." She shrugged. "Last time I was here, I couldn't even cross the road without makin' a foal of myself."
"Yes, but you were such a fast learner," Diane replied. Applejack shook her head.
"But that ain't what home's about for me," she said. "For me, home is not havin' to learn how to live there. I can go back to the farm and be myself, without havin' to spend time figurin' out how it works."
"Yes, but it's a farm," Diane said before Mosely could stop her, her lip curling in distaste. Applejack bristled.
"So what?" she said. "Like, take a buddy of mine, for example. She's a right pain in the flank sometimes. She does things without thinkin' and she makes a right mess, and I'm the pony who has to clean it up." From under the table, Applejack felt a somewhat aggressive prod. "But when I'm with her, I don't have to deal with... anythin'. I don't have to deal with tryin' to get her to talk, or deal with her havin' a different sense of fashion than me. I don't have to deal with her bein' excited 'bout everythin', or bein' all smart and stuff. She's a right pain in her own ways, but I'm used to those lil' ways, and they don't bother me none."
Diane sighed. Applejack felt the warm touch of Rainbow's snout against her fur.
"Well... Whatever makes you happy, I suppose."
"She sounds like a very good friend," Applejack's uncle said. Applejack smiled.
"We like to think of ourselves as 'partners'." After all, she thought, partners meant a lot of things. It meant somepony to play cards with. Somepony to lie next to. Somepony to sneak you sandwiches in Manehattan.
Mosely and Diane smiled. From the other side of the room, Silverware coughed.
"Excuse me, but if you wanted to catch the ten-past bus, it would be wise to get your outdoor wear promptly," he said. Both Oranges stood up.
"Very good for reminding us, Silverware," Mosely said. "We shall spruce ourselves up immediately.
Before Applejack could wonder why a pony would need outdoor wear, both older ponies had left to go to their dressing room, leaving her alone with Silverware. The butler coughed.
"Perhaps you should exfiltrate your 'partner' before they return," he said. "Your aunt and uncle are very keen to show you the Pony of Liberty before you return to Ponyville."
Applejack coughed. Rainbow stuck her head out from under the table.
"Ah, the table. I would have suggested the curtains, but there is no arguing with results," Silverware said. "I shall leave you to say your goodbyes."
Applejack ran her hoof through her mane. "Well, uh... Thanks for the sandwich an' all."
Rainbow snickered, and darted in to steal a quick kiss from Applejack's cheek. "Anytime, partner." She looked over Applejack's shoulder, listening to the faint sounds of Mosely and Diane getting ready. "Do you really have no problem with all my little habits?"
Applejack snorted. "Well, not as much as listenin' to Twilight yammer on 'bout magic." She narrowed her eyes. "That ain't no cause to not do your part in cleanin' up the house, mind."
Rainbow chuckled. "Noted! See you at the train-station?"
"Yup. I'll be there mid-afternoon. We'll head back together."
When Mosely and Diane returned, they returned to Applejack alone in the room.
Her uncle smiled. "Do you want to see the Pony of Liberty before you head back?" he asked. Applejack nodded.
"You bet!"
***
The End
