Canterlot, Equestria, early spring: An alpine preserve of gleaming streets, museums, schools, and fine dining—a shining city where the laughter of foals mingles with the hoofsteps of Royal Guards.
The flash of light, and the surge of love magic that expelled over a thousand changelings from the city, occurred at precisely six forty-three PM on a Friday …
This is Canterlot on a Saturday morning—Canterlot in the all-too-brief respite after the changelings came.
Twilight Sparkle idly examined her spoon. It—like the rest of her silverware and flatware—was antique, yet still as tough as the day it was made. It hailed from an era when fashion and stark practicality went hoof-in-hoof.
That aesthetic infused the entire room—this private backroom of The Daisy Chain. The walls, floor, and ceiling were aromatic cedarwood. The tables and chairs were elegantly carved but sturdy as iron. Every detail of the restaurant balanced expertly on the knife-edge that separated classy from pretentious; in short, this was the rare Canterlot establishment that Rarity and Applejack could both enjoy equally. And the food was excellent, of course.
Twilight had chosen this place carefully. She needed someplace private for this meeting, and she wanted her friends to be well-fed and relaxed for what was to happen next.
She pushed her plate away, then clinked her antique spoon, three times, against her almost-empty glass of orange juice. When all chatter had ceased, and nearly every eye at the table turned to her, she said, “You’re probably wondering why I asked you all to come here.”
Pinkie Pie pulled her head out of her stack of pancakes just long enough to answer, “For brunch?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, her cheeks full of waffles. “I dunno about you girls, but beating up changelings and partying hard all night gave me one heck of an appetite!”
Twilight chuckled. “No, no. We’re here to talk about something of grave importance. Something—”
“More important than brunch?!” Pinkie interjected. “The only meal with the combined powers of breakfast and lunch!”
“Yes! Something I’m sure Princess Celestia is already discussing with her own counsellors, and which she’ll be eager to hear our input on, as well. The great question raised by the events of yesterday …”
Twilight paused, looking around the table, making eye contact with each of her friends in turn, before she completed the thought. “How are we going to defend Equestria from the changeling threat?”
Earlier …
Hayseed Turnip Truck rushed through his neighborhood, pushing a wheelbarrow before him. The stacked contents leaned precariously as he navigated the twisting streets.
“Hi, neighbor!” Lime Twist called.
Hayseed screeched to a stop and caught his stack just before it toppled. “Well, howdy, Limey!” he said.
“Wow, that’s quite the collection, Hayseed.” Lime glanced over the huge stack of bottled water and preserved fruits and vegetables—some canned, some freeze-dried. “What’s the occasion?”
“Oh, these here are the vittles for my emergency shelter.”
“Emergency shelter? Whatever for?”
“For emergencies, ya goober!” Hayseed resumed wheeling the barrow towards his front door, and Lime followed him. “Like changelings!”
“What?” Lime glanced up and down the street, then stepped closer to Hayseed and lowered her voice. “Those monsters that attacked the whole city yesterday? Those changelings?”
Hayseed nodded.
“You think they’ll attack again?”
“I dunno. But better safe than sorry.”
Five puzzled mares looked back at Twilight. Applejack swallowed her mouthful of omelet and broke the silence. “Changeling threat, Twilight? Didn’t your brother and sister-’n-law already take care of that?”
“Oh, did they?” Twilight arched one eyebrow and smiled slightly. “And how exactly did Shining Armor and Princess Cadance ‘take care of’ that problem?”
“Darn it, Twi, you were there too! You saw it just as good as we did when they made that … shield thingy out of love magic or whatever.”
“And totally blew all those changelings away! Kaboom!” Rainbow Dash added. “Coolest wedding, ever!”
Twilight chuckled. “Yes, that was veryimpressive. But …” The smile fell from Twilight’s face. “Do we know that their force field expelled every changeling?”
“Of course,” Rarity said. “We all saw it work. Look around you.” She waved a hoof around. “Do you see any changelings hiding in the corners or skulking in dark alleys?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“And you’re confident in your ability to spot a creature that can take on the appearance of any pony, then? Confident enough to bet your life on?”
“I … well, that is to say … hmmm.”
Twilight smirked again. “But let’s set that aside for the moment. Let’s assume that Equestria is one hundred percent changeling-free right now. Applejack! What would you do if you woke up one morning and found Sweet Apple Acres had a bad infestation of apple moths?”
Applejack eyed Twilight suspiciously as she answered, “Well, that wouldn’t happen in the first place. Because we use pheromone repellants to make sure them moths keep far away from our orchards.”
“Okay. But imagine you bought a defective batch of repellants. Now you have an infestation. What do you do about it?”
“Uuuurgh …” Rainbow Dash clutched the sides of her head. “What does Applejack’s farm have to do with anything, Twilight?”
“Hold on there, sugarcube. I think I see where Twi’s goin’ with this.” Applejack gave Rainbow a smile, but that smile fell as she turned back to Twilight. “Well, if we ever did get an infestation, first, I’d see if Fluttershy can talk some sense into them worms and make ’em leave.”
Fluttershy gave a slight smile in response.
Applejack continued, “But if they won’t listen, well, we got some systemic pesticides for times like that. Spray it on the tree roots in the mornin’, and it’ll be in the leaves in just a couple of hours. A few worms eat the leaves and get sick, or worse. Then the rest get the hint and go lookin’ somewhere else for a meal.”
Fluttershy stared down at the table in front of her, fidgeting slightly, but she said nothing.
“And then what?” Twilight said. She was resting her elbows on the table, her hooves pressed together.
“And then …” Applejack sighed. “We put out a new batch of them pheromone lures. ’Cause keepin’ an apple orchard healthy means you’re always on the lookout for pests. As soon as you stop watchin’, they’ll sneak back in and eat your entire livelihood.”
Rarity nodded at that. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened as comprehension dawned on them.
And Fluttershy furrowed her brows as she looked up from the table. “That’s not a very nice analogy.”
“Well,” Twilight said, “no analogy is perfect, but—”
“The changelings aren’t animals that you can just kick off your property without a second thought. They can speak and think just as much as a pony can.”
Twilight sighed. “I know. That makes it worse.”
Fluttershy wilted slightly. “Worse?”
“The changelings aren’t animals. They’re a foreign nation that just infiltrated the upper levels of the government, kidnapped a princess, and openly invaded Canterlot. They went to war against Equestria.”
Twilight paused to let that sink in, then continued, “And now we don’t know where they are, or whether they’re going to come back. We can’t even be certain that they’re all gone from Canterlot.”
Everypony at the table had stopped eating.
“Well, then,” Rarity said, shifting in her seat. “What are we to do now?”
“That’s what I wanted your help with. I have some ideas …”
Earlier …
The yard was small, but carefully maintained. The grass was so uniform, a golf fairway would have been jealous. The shrubs lining the yard were trimmed into identical cubes—except for the shrub at the end, which Mint Truffle was fussing over.
“Suuure the changelings are gonna attack again,” she said, lining up her hedge clippers. “Right after I sprout wings and get crowned the Queen of Prance.” With a loud snip, she trimmed off three errant branches.
Lime Twist raked up the branches. “And how are you so sure they won’t come back?”
Mint rolled her eyes. “Because they got kicked out with their tails between their legs.” Snip, snip, snip, went the clippers. “If they want to attack again, and that’s a big if, they won’t do it now. They need time to regroup and make a better plan.”
“Maybe that’s what they want us to think!” a new voice cut in. A teal unicorn stallion poked his head over another shrub.
“Hey!” Lime waved her rake at the stallion. “How long have you been eavesdropping, Fizzy?”
“Whoa now, I was just getting my morning paper—” Fizzy waved the newspaper in question in the air as he leaned forward and rested his hooves on the shrub. “—and I heard you talking about changelings. And I think you’re both right to be concerned!”
“Hey! Hooves off my plants, buster!” Mint glared and pointed her clippers at Fizzy, until he complied. “Thank you.” She looked down at the bush, then back up at the stallion. “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but why do you say ‘that’s what they want us to think’?”
“Because,” Fizzy said, “the first changeling invasion proves that they’re experts at attacking when nopony expects. So it stands to reason that their next attempt will also come when we least expect it! And as you pointed out, Mint Truffle, nopony expects the changelings to attack now!”
Lime gasped, her eyes wide. Mint just shook her head and said, “Thank you for not disappointing, Fizzy. What next, you’re gonna say I’m a changeling?”
Fizzy arched one eyebrow. “No. Whyever would I think that?”
“Of course, of course,” Mint said. “I’m much too obvious. Hmm … Nopony would ever expect you to be a changeling, Fizzy. So by your own logic, you must be one!”
Fizzy squinted. “I get the feeling you’re not taking this very seriously.”
“To begin with,” Twilight said, “we need to secure Canterlot’s perimeter. Re-establish that shield—a team of unicorns can cast the spell until my brother returns. The pegasus guards can set up and enforce a no-fly zone around the city.”
“Wait, Twilight,” Rarity said, “you’re not suggesting that we completely cut the city off from the outside?”
“Oh, no, nothing of the sort! Ponies will be able to come and go through designated entry control points.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“Provided they go through a medical exam to prove they’re a pony, not a changeling.”
“What? You can’t be serious.”
“I dunno,” Rainbow Dash cut in. “Doesn’t sound that bad. Remember that exam we had to get before the Best Young Flyer Competition? That’s pretty much expected for pro athletes.”
“Oh.” Rarity looked pensive. “Well, when you put it like that …”
“Of course,” Twilight said, “these exams would have to be much more thorough.”
“What?” both Rarity and Rainbow said.
“After all, testing for illegal performance-enhancing magic is relatively simple. Testing for changelings … won’t be.”
“Well, if that’s how it must be …” Rarity said, then sighed.
Twilight perked up, waving one hoof in the air. “Oh! But once we do catch a changeling, we’ll be able to study them! And from that, we can come up with a simpler way to detect changelings, like a magic spell, or some sort of illusion-dispelling potion or something. At least I think we can …”
“I certainly hope so,” Rarity said. “But surely, once a pony has proven they are, in fact, a pony, they’ll get some kind of certificate so they don’t have to go through all that, uh …”
“Rigamarole?” Applejack offered.
“Yes! Surely nopony should have to go through all that rigamarole more than once?”
Twilight shook her head. “Sorry. Too much of a security risk. If we starting giving out ‘Get through the checkpoint free’ cards, then what happens if a changeling steals that card? Right?”
Groans and grumbles of vague assent came from the rest of the table.
“Great! I’m glad we’re all on the same page. Anyway, once the perimeter of Canterlot is completely secured, we set up similar checkpoints at random places inside the city …”
Earlier …
The dogwood trees lining this avenue were in full, dazzling bloom, but the trio of unicorns paid them no heed. They focused instead on the branches resting on the gravel below—the branches that a changeling had knocked down in his meteoric descent yesterday.
“Mint was right, you know,” Lime said. “About changelings hiding among us. Not about everything else she said.”
“She’s just a naysayer and a smart-flank,” Fizzy said. “I wouldn’t worry too much about her.”
“But it makes sense,” the third unicorn, a pink mare, said. “I heard that, before the last attack, one changeling infiltrated the palace by disguising herself as one of the Princesses. So whatever their next attack will be, there’ll be at least one changeling in disguise beforehoof!”
“Yes,” Lime said. “And since the changelings are going to attack again, soon …”
All three ponies gulped.
“Is … is there any way to spot a changeling infiltrator?” Fizzy asked. “Tira, how did they unmask that changeling disguised as the Princess?”
“Well …” Tiramisu tilted her head slightly as she thought. “They say that the Princess just started acting weird about a month ago. Like, really mean and completely out of character. In hindsight, it’s obvious that was the changeling—but at the time, everypony thought it was just pre-wedding stress.”
“Soooo …” Fizzy said. “We should look for a pony that started acting differently, all of a sudden. Oh!” His eyes widened. “I just thought of our first suspect.”
“... and when we’ve finished combing Canterlot,” Twilight said, “then we can start searching in other cities. We’ll focus first on ...”
She trailed off as she looked at the others. None of them would meet her gaze—instead, they glanced among each other or stared down at the table, shifting in their seats.
Twilight sighed. “Do you have something to add?”
The others looked at Applejack, and she said, “Twilight, I know this is serious. But what yer suggestin’—searchin’ every house, interrogatin’ and examinin’ everypony … Ain’t that a bit much?”
Twilight groaned and dropped her head to the table.
“Oh, come on, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said. “Why even ask our advice if you’re just gonna brush us off?”
Jerking back up, Twilight said, “I was hoping that you could think of something I’ve missed, rather than just dismissing my concerns out of hoof, again.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Twilight! Just what are you gettin’ at?!” Applejack said.
“Oh, um, Twilight …” Fluttershy also said.
“What the hay, Twilight?!” Rainbow said.
Fluttershy continued, nearly drowned out, even though she raised her voice, “I can think of something you, um, forgot …”
“Why are we yelling?!” Pinkie yelled.
“Quiet!” Twilight shouted, and the table fell silent. “Fluttershy, you wanted to say something?”
“Oh.” Fluttershy had sunk in her seat, but now she rose back up. “Well, I think you did forget one thing. What if some of the changelings are good?”
Twilight blinked.
Fluttershy continued, “That Changeling Queen and her soldiers were all parasites, stealing identities and love from innocent ponies. But I don’t think they have to be parasites.”
“What, you think they could eat something besides love?”
“I think that if they asked nicely, there are a lot of ponies who would feed them for free.”
“And these hypothetical nice changelings don’t kidnap ponies, either, I presume?”
Fluttershy smiled. “They could just create an identity from scratch, I think.”
“You think.” Twilight sighed. “That’s a very nice sentiment, Fluttershy, but it’s kind of irrelevant. If there are good changelings out there, they aren’t the ones who’re going to attack. What are the odds of us ever meeting them?”
Fluttershy leaned forward. “But what if they’re already here? Then the security measures you’re suggesting would affect them, too.”
Twilight’s ear flicked. “Already here?”
“Maybe the nice changelings have been living among ponies for years. Maybe even one of us is—”
“Don’t say that!” Twilight lunged forward, slamming her hooves on the table.
Fluttershy recoiled in her seat.
“We were attacked by a whole army of hostile changelings! Thousands! And how many nice changelings have any of us met? Huh?”
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy whimpered.
“So don’t compare us to those …” Twilight shut her eyes—scrunching her face, taking several deep breaths through her nose, and massaging her forehead with one hoof. In a softer voice, she continued, “No, no, it’s not your fault, Fluttershy. I shouldn’t snap at you like that. I’m very stressed, but that’s no excuse.” Opening her eyes, she looked right at Fluttershy. “I’m sorry.”
“Ooh, stress?” Pinkie Pie leaped out of her chair and bounded over to Twilight’s side. “Sounds like somepony could use a hug!”
“I don’t know if that will—oooof!” Pinkie’s hug took Twilight’s breath away.
Rarity also trotted to Twilight’s side and rested one hoof on her shoulder. “I’m no stranger to stress, Twilight,” she said. “But why now? After all, the worst is over, and we’re all safe now.”
When Pinkie released her from the hug, Twilight gasped out, “Safe? Safe?” Upon regaining her breath, she continued. “Didn’t you notice how those changelings actually beat us yesterday? That Changeling Queen fooled everypony, and when we unmasked her, she overpowered Princess Celestia. And then her army broke through my brother’s shield. They stopped us from using the Elements of Harmony!”
Rainbow Dash said, “Yeah, but they were no match for Cadance and Shining Armor’s force field!”
“Only because they got cocky!” Twilight shot back. “The Changeling Queen ignored those two, long enough for them to make that force field. If she hadn’t turned her back at that moment, she’d still be in control of Canterlot, right now. We won yesterday because we got lucky! That’s the only reason. And until we have something more than luck on our side, none of us are safe!”
“Feels like we’re talkin’ in circles here …” Applejack muttered.
Twilight continued, “I was scared. More scared than I’ve been in a long time. You know, after you left the wedding rehearsal, the Changeling Queen threw me into the abandoned mine below the castle. And the only reason I escaped was because she contacted me to gloat. If she had just left me alone there …” Twilight choked. “I-I thought I would never make it out of there. In the dark, all I could do was imagine that impostor overthrowing Equestria, m-marrying my brother …” Tears were forming in her eyes now. “I th-thought I’d never s-see any of you again, and that my last mem-memory of y-you girls would be, be ...”
Rarity moved closer, and Twilight practically fell onto her shoulder, burying her face in Rarity’s curled mane. Pinkie hugged them both a second later, and then Fluttershy flew over to join in.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash, however, remained in their seats and exchanged glances. Applejack raised one eyebrow and nodded towards the group hug; Rainbow shook her head and feigned gagging. Applejack just shrugged, then trotted over to place a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “There, there,” she said.
Earlier …
Pepperjack opened his front door and found three unicorns staring at him. He sighed.
“Hello, Pepperjack,” Fizzy said. “If that’s really your name.”
“Is this about that charity?” Pepper said. “Because I already donated at the office.”
“You see?” Fizzy said to his companions. “He’s changing the subject! Like someone who has something to hide.”
Lime and Tira nodded.
“What subject?” Pepper looked at each pony in turn, and gulped at the force of their collective icy glare. “What are you getting at?”
Fizzy stepped forward. “Can we take a look in your basement?”
“What? No. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Mmhmm.” Tira stroked her chin. “Very evasive.”
“Evasive? You’re being awfully—”
Fizzy interrupted. “How much time are you spending in that basement, anyway? Two, three hours every night?”
“Why do you even want to know?” Pepper snorted and stepped forward, but the others held their ground.
“Yeah, I’ve seen that light from behind your cellar door.” Fizzy’s eyes narrowed. “At least two hours per night. Definitely more time than you’ve spent socializing in the past month, right?”
“What, are you the friendship police now?”
“You’re right, Fizzy.” Lime was at Pepper’s side, uncomfortably close. He hadn’t noticed her approach. She said, “He’s spending an awful lot of time doing something, all by himself. He won’t tell us anything about it.”
“Because it’s none of your darn business!” Pepperjack pushed Lime away.
Lime continued, “And now that we’re poking holes in his cover story, he’s getting aggressive!”
“Aggressive? Cover story?” Pepper shook his head. “You guys really are losing it.”
“Veeeery suspicious, yes, yes,” Tira said.
“Yep, I’m convinced,” Lime added.
“Convinced of what? What the hay is going on here?!”
Fizzy grabbed Pepper’s shoulders and leaned forward until their faces were just inches apart. “What did you do with the real Pepperjack, you changeling impostor?!”
“What.”
“How many pods full of changeling slime are you hiding in that basement?”
“Are you three seriously accusing me of … that?”
Lime cut in. “Give us one good reason to think you aren’t a bug monster!”
“I’m not a changeling! I’m an amateur mycologist!”
That gave the three accusers pause. They exchanged glances, and Fizzy said, “A what?”
Pepperjack pushed Fizzy away. “I’m growing mushrooms in my basement. That’s why I go down there so much. Here, I’ll show you.” He stepped into his house, shutting the door behind him. About a minute passed.
“Oh, no …” Lime Twist slapped her forehead. “We let him escape!”
The door opened again, and Pepperjack stepped back out. He balanced a wide planter on his back, with a dozen purple mushroom bells poking out of the dirt. “See? Mushrooms.”
Tira poked one of the bells. “But could those be … changeling mushrooms?”
Lime slapped her lightly on the back of her head.
“Huh,” Fizzy said. “Well, I guess that explains everything. Sorry for accusing you like that, Pepperjack.”
“It’s okay. No harm done, I guess.” Pepper stuck the planter back inside. “Why are you so set on finding changelings, anyway?”
“Because it’s their M.O. to send infiltrators before the main invasion force!”
“Because they’ll invade again when we least expect!” Lime added.
“So there must be changelings among us now,” Tira said.
“Hmm …” Pepperjack furrowed his brow. “Well, come to think of it, there’s this one pony at my office who didn’t show up for work yesterday. Almost like she knew about the changeling attack beforehoof …”
The other three’s eyes all widened. “Oh, my …” Lime said.
“Oh, yeah! And she just started working at the office a month ago. And she’s a total weirdo! You know, I’ve been wondering what her deal is—if she’s a changeling, that would explain a lot.”
“Yes, yes!” Fizzy said. “What kind of weird are we talking, here?”
“Follow me!” Pepperjack closed his door and stepped past the trio, onto the street. “I’ll explain on the way to her place.” The four ponies trotted away.
A few minutes after their hoofsteps faded to silence, a new set of hooves approached. Mint Truffle marched up to Pepperjack’s duplex and knocked loudly on the door. Receiving no reply, she knocked again, even louder.
“Hey, Pepperjack!” she shouted. “Are you in your basement or what? Come on!”
With a harrumph, Mint turned away. She muttered to herself, “Darn it. Where else could Lime be?”
Twilight Sparkle dried her eyes as the others returned to their seats. “Sorry about that, everypony,” she said.
“’Tain’t nothin’, sugarcube,” Applejack said, sitting down.
“There’s no shame in having a spot of nerves, darling,” Rarity said, “especially after what you’ve been through these past few days.”
“Maybe a rest would help,” Fluttershy added with a smile. “Sometimes we all need to take a break when the world gets too scary.”
“Yeah,” Applejack said. “And I reckon you’ll be thinkin’ a lot clearer once you’re not so discombobulated ’bout all this.”
Twilight blinked. “Just what are you implying?”
“Oh!” Pinkie cut in. “She just thinks your security measures are waaaaaay too much!”
“Really?”
“I’m pretty sure we all think that,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Oh, I see!” Twilight said, glaring at each of her friends in turn.
“I’m not sure you really do …” Rarity said.
“You all think I’m overreacting!”
“Just a teensy-weensy, tiny bit,” Fluttershy said.
“Tiny bit?” Rainbow Dash said. “More like—”
“Like the time I thought Princess Cadance was evil?” Twilight said with a downright predatory grin. “And that my brother was making a big mistake by marrying her?”
Applejack and Fluttershy looked down at the table. The others just stared at Twilight, slack-jawed. None of them said a word.
“Really, now!” Twilight was on a roll, now. “Didn’t you write a letter to Princess Celestia about taking your friends’ concerns seriously? Whatever happened to that?!”
“Oh, yeah?” Pinkie said. “Didn’t you write a letter about not making mountains out of molehills? Twice?”
“Molehills?” Twilight said, her voice quieter. “Seriously, molehills?”
“Uh oh.” Pinkie ducked, resting her chin on the table, and placed both hooves over her head. “I really shouldn’t have said that …”
Earlier …
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Bolero said, turning down the volume of his stereo system. But the pounding on his front door continued. “I’m coming! Sheesh …”
He opened the door and managed to say, “Hello, can I help—” And then, he realized that opening his door had been a mistake.
A mob of ponies—about a dozen—surged into his apartment, shouting all the while. Among the incoherent babble, a few exclamations could be deciphered:
“For Equestria!”
“Remember the Royal Wedding!”
“Get the changeling! Boot him out!”
Four ponies from the mob surrounded and restrained Bolero. The others stomped through the room, searching for something. One of these—Bolero’s neighbor, Blue Jet—rushed over to the stereo. “Here it is!” she shouted. “The foul signal I told you about!”
At Blue Jet’s side, Lime Twist raised a rake in the air.
“No!” Bolero shouted. “Do you have any idea how much that thing costs?!”
He tried to step forward, but the four ponies held him back. “You’re not going anywhere,” Tiramisu said, poking Bolero’s chest. “Changeling!”
Love for his stereo gave Bolero a sudden surge of adrenaline. He grabbed the foreleg poking him and, in one smooth motion, flipped Tira over his back. He vaguely noticed the thump as Tira landed on Pepperjack, but he ignored it in his dash towards the stereo.
Unaware of the pony rushing towards her, Lime shouted, “For Equestoooof!”
Bolero slammed Lime with his shoulder, knocking her to the side, and he caught the rake in his mouth as she dropped it. He faced the mob and swung the garden utensil back and forth, until everypony took a few steps back.
“I swear to Celestia,” he said—quite clearly, in spite of the wood handle in his mouth— “if I find so much as a scratch on my stereo, I will take you all to court! And you!” He glared at Blue Jet. “If you really wanted me to stop playing my music so loud, you could have just asked!”
Bolero tapped a switch on the turntable, and the music immediately shut off.
Blue Jet huffed. “Oh yeah, like that would’ve worked! ‘Hey, changeling, can you please turn off that changeling audio signal you’re using to changeling mind control us all?’ ‘Sure thing, neighbor!’ Yeah, right.”
Bolero shook his head and spat out the rake. “For the love of Celestia, slapping ‘changeling’ in front of every noun doesn’t make your accusations any less stupid.”
“Don’t change the subject!” Lime said, climbing to her hooves. “Changeling.”
Bolero rolled his eyes. “Case in point.” Then he grabbed the empty LP sleeve resting next to the stereo and held it up for all the mob to see. “This is what I was listening to when you ruffians barged in. It’s not mind control, it’s blooming ‘Ride of the Elkyries’!” He set the sleeve down and smirked. “Or are you seriously suggesting that Stagner was a changeling?”
The crowd stared back at him.
“Stagner? ‘Ride of the Elkyries’? None of that ringing a bell?” Bolero sighed. “You know … the surfing scene from Alpacalypse Now?”
Every face in the crowd lit up, and a chorus of “Oooooohhh”s followed.
“Philistines, the lot of you,” Bolero muttered to himself.
“Anyway,” he continued aloud, “it’s fortuitous you ponies came to me. Your zeal is admirable, but your methods need fine-tuning.” He smirked. “I know where you can find your changelings. Follow me.”
“Are you saying that my brother’s marriage was a molehill?” Twilight said. “He was pledging to share the rest of his life with another pony! A pony who I alone noticed was a conniving witch! And you think—”
“Now, Twilight—” Applejack said.
But Twilight was undeterred. “And you think my concerns about my brother ruining his life—bringing that monster into my family—were on the same level as me overreacting to a missed homework assignment!?”
“Consarnit, Twilight!” Applejack slammed her hooves on the table. “You know that’s not what we meant!”
“Then say what you mean, for a change!”
“You know why we didn’t believe you, Twilight, when you said Cadance was evil?” Rarity cut in. “Because your investigation was absolute rubbish!”
“What?!”
“Think about what you did, Twilight. You initially suspected that impostor because of slights that could have been just as easily explained by pre-wedding anxiety. Then you dug a little deeper, and …”
“I saw her cast a mind-control spell on my brother!”
“Yes, of course. And once you found that solitary piece of evidence, instead of investigating further to build a stronger case, or privately warning Celestia, you publicly accused the impostor! And you certainly didn’t do yourself any favors with the tone you took. Really, you came across half-mad, the way you were ranting.”
Twilight fumed, but said nothing.
Rarity continued, “Of course, your suspicion was vindicated. You were right that something was wrong with Princess Cadance. But simply being right isn’t always enough. You can’t convince anypony until you have more than a half-baked theory based on circumstantial evidence.”
“I’ll say!” Pinkie added. “Half-baked theories taste almost as bad as half-baked cakes. I know!”
“You’re right.” Twilight again placed her forehooves together, then twisted her lips into a thin smile. “I need solid, comprehensive data to build my plans on.”
“Precisely,” Rarity said.
“Say, for example, sniffing out changelings through mandatory medical exams?”
Rarity started. “What? No, that’s not what I meant at all!”
“Then why don’t you all make up your minds! You don’t believe me because I don’t have enough evidence. But you don’t seem to want me to collect that evidence, either!”
“Oh, come on, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said.
“That’s …” Rarity said, “that’s not the same thing!”
But Twilight was on a roll. Changing her pitch to imitate somepony else’s voice—and not really sounding like any of her friends—she said, “‘Oh, Twilight, you’re just overreacting! There’s no danger!’” Then she raised her pitch. “‘Oh no, Twilight, we need you to save us! If only somepony had foreseen this!’”
“Twilight!” Applejack said. “Are you even listenin’ to yerself?”
“Yes, of course! And apparently I’m the only one! Aaaargh ...” Twilight buried her face in the table.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Very well, Twilight. I think you’ve made your point.”
“I’m not so sure.” Twilight’s head rose, and she got out of her chair. “Maybe you five were replaced by changelings, too. Because you’re certainly not acting like my friends.” She walked toward the door.
“Twilight …” Pinkie whimpered, on the verge of tears. Fluttershy was at her side, a comforting hoof on her withers.
“Let ’er go, Pinkie.” Applejack snorted. “Reckon she needs some time to think all this over.”
Twilight whipped around, glaring. But before she could fire off another retort, Applejack continued, “I reckon we all do.”
Rarity was turned away, her forelegs crossed over her chest, her eyes closed, and her snout in the air. Rainbow Dash slouched sideways over her chair, groaning as she massaged her face with her hooves.
Twilight snorted and opened the door.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!” The scream was a mare’s voice; it came from outside the restaurant.
“That voice,” Twilight said. “Was that … ?” She bolted in the direction of the scream.
Earlier …
The two white pegasi, Libra Ace and Quote Mark, hovered in the air, out of reach of the mob below. But Libra was still within throwing distance, and she had to dodge several lobbed vegetables and a cupcake as she shouted, “What the feather is wrong with you?”
“Wrong with us?” Pepperjack shouted back. “Nothin’s wrong with us! You’re the changelings!”
“Oi, you got a lotta nerve, buster!” She snorted and rose in the air slightly, preparing to dive. But Quote swooped down in front of her, restraining her.
“Aw, come on! Lemme at ’em!” Libra said, her blonde mane bouncing as she bobbed in the air, trying to get around him. Quote said nothing, but shook his head.
Then an eclair struck his cheek, splattering over half his face. Quote recoiled with a grunt, and now it was Libra’s turn to hold onto him. “Quote! Are you okay?!”
He smiled weakly and nodded.
“Good. Because they won’t be …” Libra hovered back a few feet, then dove.
Below, Pepperjack threw himself to the ground, and a few dozen ponies around him followed suit, narrowly saving themselves from a nasty kick in the head as Libra whooshed past, mere inches above them.
“She attacked us!” Blue Jet cried. “What more proof do we need?”
“You lot attacked us first!” Libra shot back, hovering lower so she could better yell at the crowd. “Where do you ponies get off pulling this garbage?”
Lime Twist saw her chance for glory, and she grabbed it. She telekinetically lifted her rake and pulled it back. She springboarded off a nearby stallion’s back, into the air. She swung at the pegasus with the rake, putting all her might into it …
The rake caught on something. Lime lost her balance, spun in the air, and landed right on Tiramisu.
“That is my rake, thank you very much!” Mint Truffle smiled at the implement in her telekinetic grip. Then she looked up at the scene she had interrupted, and her smile fell.
The entire mob, and the two pegasi hovering above, stared back at Mint.
“Limey,” Mint said, “what are you doing?”
Lime pushed herself away from Tira and scrambled to her hooves. “Those two pegasi are changeling infiltrators! So we’re doing our duty as—”
“Like hay we are, you crazy broad!” Libra interrupted.
Mint groaned and muttered to herself, “Uuuugh. This morning just keeps getting stupider …” Then she grabbed Lime’s chin and held it, staring directly into Lime’s eyes. “Tell me: how, exactly, did you realize that Libra Ace and Quote Mark, who have lived in Canterlot longer than either of us, are changeling spies?”
Lime’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s easy. One of the signs of being a changeling is when a pony starts acting different for no real reason. It means they’ve been replaced by a bad imitation! And Quote, there, used to be a real chatterbox. Until a few weeks ago, when he just stopped talking! Isn’t that right?!”
The crowd made vague noises of assent.
“Are you kidding me?!” Libra said. “Is that what this whole flapping mess is about? Look here!” She hooked a foreleg over Quote’s withers and pulled him lower. “Come on, Quote. Smile. Show them.”
Quote sighed instead. He pulled his lip back with a hoof, revealing teeth, gums—and a shiny silver wire.
“Quote broke his jaw,” Libra said. “The doctor had to wire his mouth shut so it would heal right. That’s why he hasn’t talked at all, lately.”
“Oh,” Lime said.
“You see?” Mint said. “This was all just a big misunderstanding. Now, why don’t we—”
“A jaw wired shut doesn’t prove anything!” Bolero cut in. “That could just be part of the changeling’s cover story!”
“Your mum’s a changeling cover story!” Libra shouted back.
“Up yours, bug!” somepony in the mob shouted.
“Get the changelings! Boot ’em out!”
“Stop it!” Mint waved her rake in the air. “Stop it, stop it, stop it!” Once everypony was again looking at her, she continued, “You’re all acting like a bunch of yearlings! Seriously, are these the best leads you have for your changeling hunt? Half-baked theories and circumstantial evidence?”
“No, you don’t understand …” Fizzy said.
“Who put all you ponies up to this, anyway?” Mint continued. “Because, by your own logic, they might be changelings. And they’re sending all of you on this snipe hunt to distract you. Ever consider that?”
The crowd murmured. Over twenty pairs of eyes turned towards the trio of unicorns, and the mass of ponies shifted to completely surround Fizzy, Lime Twist, and Tiramisu.
Lime gulped, and Fizzy said, “No, you really don’t understand!”
“Oh, for crying out loud … ” Mint muttered, then added, louder, “I was being hypothetical!”
“Look, over there!” Tira shouted, pointing, and everypony turned in that direction. They looked: past the crowd, past Mint Truffle, to the intersection at the end of the street. There was a lone unicorn mare trotting across.
“I recognize her!” Tira continued. “She’s that weirdo loner! Spends all her time in her house or the library!”
Down the street, the mare turned, finally noticing the crowd staring her way.
“She must have been doing research for her changeling masters!”
The mare ran.
The crowd roared as they ran after.
“Get her!”
“For Equestria!”
“Get the changeling! Boot her out!”
Mint Truffle stared, slack-jawed, at the tails of the pursuing mob. With a snort and a scowl, she set off after them.
Moondancer trotted towards the library, scolding herself for having slept in so late this morning. She had a strict schedule for her research sessions, even if she was the only one who knew about it, and now she was running an hour late. Granted, she only slept in because her alarm clock was broken—the changeling who crashed through her roof yesterday had trampled it underhoof, along with her entire nightstand. But that was no excuse. And speaking of changelings …
Moondancer had a new topic to research today. It was a pity: she had really looked forward to reading all about 7th-century innovations in barley farming, but this new subject was much more pressing. For obvious reasons, she had never read up on changelings before. But after the attack yesterday, it was essential that Moondancer peruse everything that ponykind knew about the species—even if it just turned out to be rumors and myths.
As she crossed an intersection, she heard some ponies in the cross-street mention changelings. That was to be expected, of course, considering recent events. Moondancer turned one ear to listen.
“... that weirdo loner!” somepony was saying. “Spends all her time in her house or the library!”
Moondancer’s stomach dropped. It took every ounce of self-control she possessed to turn her head and look at the source of the voice. She wished she hadn’t. A few dozen ponies were staring back at her—a crowd of unicorns and earth ponies, plus two pegasi hovering above them. The ponies practically radiated anger, fear, and suspicion.
A pink unicorn, at the crowd’s center, jabbed a hoof in Moondancer’s direction. “She must have been doing research for her changeling masters!”
It was absolutely untrue. It was downright nonsensical. It was utter madness.
The crowd ate it up.
Moondancer ran.
She pumped her legs harder than ever before. Underneath her worn-out black turtleneck, she was already sweating. She darted left, into the first alley she saw, then right, onto the next street. She had no destination in mind, just the burning, primal need to get away.
If she could just get out of their sight for a few seconds, she would be safe. But the cries of her pursuers did not grow any quieter.
“Get the changeling!”
“Somepony stop her!”
Moondancer bolted into another alley.
“She’s in here, you slowpokes!” The voice came from above. Moondancer glanced up—the two pegasi from before were shadowing her effortlessly, and three more pegasi had joined them. Moondancer snorted and turned onto another street.
“Moondancer?” a familiar voice said. “What’s wrong?”
Moondancer spared a glance over and saw a pony running at her side—a pony with a familiar purple coat, a familiar mane cut, and a familiar cutie mark. It was yet another absurdity in a morning already full of them. Twilight Sparkle was not Moondancer’s friend—so why would she, of all ponies, show up to help now?
Perhaps this was a psychotic break, induced by her intense fear. Unlikely, of course—but a hallucination still made slightly more sense than the alternative.
“What’s going on?” the impossible pony asked, again.
“Ain’t it obvious?” another voice replied.
Moondancer glanced around again. Five more ponies had joined Twilight Sparkle and now kept pace with Moondancer. She didn’t recognize any of them—if this mismatched crew were also a hallucination, then her subconscious was a much more interesting place than she imagined.
The one in the cowpony hat spoke again. “That there mob is out for blood, on account’a they think she’s a changeling!”
“Oh,” Twilight said.
Moondancer ducked right, barely avoiding the curly-maned, pink pony as she did, and entered another alley. It was a dead end. She skidded to a stop and spun on her hooves, but Twilight and those five other ponies had already entered the alley. The mob was right behind them, and the angry pegasi were hovering overhead.
Moondancer was trapped.
She froze, and Twilight approached her. Then the yellow pegasus ran to Twilight’s side, while the other four ponies turned away, facing the mob.
“Is that what’s happening?” Twilight asked. “They think you’re a changeling?”
Moondancer nodded.
“Can you … prove you’re really Moondancer?”
“Twilight!” the pegasus said.
“Are you real?” Moondancer replied. Before either pony could respond, she reached out and touched Twilight’s chest. “You feel solid enough. You’re no hallucination.”
“No …”
Moondancer stepped forward and began circling around Twilight. “So why are you here now?! You weren’t there when I needed you before!”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wait, do you mean …”
“My birthday party. Where were you?”
Twilight was sweating now. “Can, can we talk about that after we save you from that angry mob?”
“No! I … you … I can’t …” Moondancer spun away from Twilight—but that left her facing the mob. Her legs buckled, and she fell to the ground.
“Um, Twilight?” Fluttershy said. “What’s she talking about?”
Twilight gave her a quick glance. “It’s kind of a long story. But it means she’s definitely Moondancer.”
“That’s wonderful! But, who’s Moondancer?”
“A friend from school.” Twilight gulped. “Even if I wasn’t a very good friend to her.”
Fluttershy nodded, then flitted over to Moondancer’s side and crouched down. “Then I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. It’s very nice to meet you, Moondancer.” She leaned closer. “You’re very brave, you know.”
Moondancer looked back up at Fluttershy. “I’m sorry?”
“I want to run and hide from other ponies even when they’re being nice. If an angry mob chased after me, I wouldn’t hold up nearly as well as you are.”
Moondancer made a sound somewhere between a cry of shock and a laugh. She adjusted her glasses, then gave Fluttershy a small smile. “Come here. Let’s be scared together.” She wrapped Fluttershy in a hug.
Twilight trotted back to the others and joined the the impromptu cordon that Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity had formed. The mob, meanwhile, had grown restless—they were now crowding closer and closer to Twilight and her friends.
“Are you arresting her yet?” somepony called.
“Yeah, get on with it!” somepony else added.
“Hey, get back!” Rainbow Dash said. “We’re handling it!”
“Oh, no you aren’t!” A brown unicorn mare shoved her way to the front. She waved a rake at Rainbow as she said, “If Moonwalker is a changeling, then I’m a changeling, too!”
“Moondancer,” Twilight said.
“She isn’t a changeling, either! So if you wanna arrest either of them—”
“We aren’t arresting her.”
“—then you’ll have to go through … Wait, what?”
“She’s an old friend of mine,” Twilight said. “She’s not a changeling.”
“Ha. Hahahahaha!” The mare lowered her rake as her laughter echoed through the alley. “Wow. It feels so good to finally meet some sane ponies.” She turned around and wedged herself into the cordon, right between Twilight and Pinkie Pie.
The mob murmured at this development.
“Oh boy, oh boy!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I can’t remember the last time anypony called me sane!”
“Why? What do they normally call you?”
“Pinkie Pie, mostly. ’Cause that’s my name! What’s yours?”
“... Mint Truffle.” To herself, she muttered, “What have I gotten myself into?”
“Wait a second!” The mob parted, allowing three unicorns to walk to the front: a dark green mare, a pink mare, and a teal stallion. The green one continued, “You don’t seriously mean you’re gonna let her go?”
“Yes, of course we are!” Mint said. “And what about you? Lime? Fizzy? Tira? Do you really want to fight over this?”
“We’ll do what we must to protect Equestria from the changeling menace!” The mob cheered at Lime’s words.
“She’s not a changeling!” Twilight replied.
“Ha! Prove it!” Fizzy said.
“Nonsense!” Rarity cut in. “Haven’t you ruffians heard of innocent until proven guilty?”
“Haven’t you heard of better safe than sorry?”
Rarity spared a glance back at Moondancer—still holding onto Fluttershy, and looking slightly less terrified than before. “Oh, yes. That unicorn certainly is fearsome.”
“Changelings can look like anypony!” Tira said. “Are you willing to bet your life that she’s safe?”
Twilight scowled. “Yes. Yes I am.”
Twilight’s friends all stared at her. She continued, “What made you think Moondancer is a changeling in the first place?”
Mint snorted. “It’s even dumber than you think. Apparently the fact that she’s a loner who spends all her time in the library proves she isn’t a pony.”
“What?” Twilight glared at the accusers. “Is that all? Seriously?”
“Well,” Tira said, “you’re not considering that in the wider context—”
“Wider context? I’ll give you some wider context! I’ve known Moondancer since we were both foals. And she’s always been a loner who spent most of her time studying. And you know what else? Up until the last Summer Sun Celebration, I was a loner who spent all my time in the library, too! It doesn’t mean anything!”
“A likely cover story!” Fizzy shot back. The crowd behind him cheered.
“Do you have any idea who I am? I’m Twilight Sparkle. I was the one who uncovered the last changeling infiltration. Do you really think I’d get taken in so easily?”
“No, you’re not fooled.”
The crowd murmured.
“Good.” Twilight said. “Now can we all—”
“You’re a changeling, too!”
The crowd shouted, directing their unrest at Twilight now. “Changeling!”
“Changeling lover!”
“The purple one’s a changeling! Get her!”
The crowd advanced a few steps, until laughter rang through the alley. The confused ponies fell silent and stared at the laughing mare.
“Oh my goodness!” Pinkie said in between chuckles. “That’s the silliest thing I’ve heard all day!”
“Uh, Pinkie,” Rainbow said, “I’m pretty sure she’s serious.”
“I know!” Pinkie said, rolling on the ground as she laughed even harder.
“Seriously,” Twilight said, “I’m Princess Celestia’s personal student!”
The mob was approaching again. “Hey!” Applejack said, pawing at the ground. “Back off, you varmints!”
Twilight continued, “Don’t you think Celestia would notice if I were replaced with an impostor? Don’t you trust her?”
Tira glared back. “No, we don’t!”
Twilight’s eye twitched.
“Oh, brother,” Rainbow Dash said.
“That was a very poor answer,” Rarity said to Tira.
Light blazed from Twilight’s horn. Tira, Fizzy, and Lime gulped and tried to back away—but the ponies behind kept pressing forward.
“Twilight,” Applejack said, “don’t do nothin’ rash, now …”
Pinkie produced gaudy neon sunglasses from Celestia-knows-where and popped them onto the faces of all her friends—including her two newest friends, Moondancer and Mint.
“Aaaarrrrgh!” Twilight unleashed her spell. The light from her horn shone like a miniature purple sun. The first few rows of ponies in the mob were knocked off their hooves and pushed backwards, ten or twenty feet, where they landed awkwardly atop their comrades.
Twilight sighed and shrank her magic shield to a more manageable size. A thin thread of ether ran from the tip of her horn to the inside of the glowing purple dome. “Alright,” she said. “That will keep us safe for now.”
Her friends under the shield slowly opened their eyes, then relaxed.
“Now that we have a minute, I think some introductions are in order.” Twilight trotted over to place her hoof on Moondancer’s shoulder. “Everypony, this is Moondancer. She was my friend from school … and I hope we can be friends again when all this is over.”
Moondancer blushed and kicked at the ground with one forehoof.
“Moondancer, these are my new friends from Ponyville …” Twilight removed her hoof and pointed at the other ponies in turn. “Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and you’ve already met Fluttershy. Now—Ow!”
Five stallions from the mob rammed Twilight’s shield, slamming into it with their shoulders. As they backed away, another wave of ponies charged. Meanwhile, the ponies behind lobbed vegetables and pastries at the shield, shouting all the while.
“Urrgh.” Twilight scowled and fired more magic into the force field. “I’m not as good as my brother at this. Anyway! Mint Truffle, how do you know Moondancer?”
Mint bit her lip. “To be honest … I don’t. Never met her before.”
A group of pegasi smashed into the shield from above, while another volley of projectiles bounced off the barrier.
“But I think Lime told me about you,” Mint said. “You’re the one who lives in that run-down cottage, right?”
Moondancer nodded.
Mint held up her rake. “If you want, I can help fix up your lawn, later. Does that sound good?”
“Ha!” Moondancer smiled wryly. “Sure, if we get out of here in one piece.”
“No, when we get out.”
“That’s right!” Twilight said. “We just need to—oof!”
Another bunch of crazed ponies collided with the shield. The shouts from the mob grew louder, more frenzied.
Twilight grit her teeth. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this shield up. Why couldn’t this have been a mob of fillies?”
“I dunno, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’d feel like a real jerk if I had to fight a mob of fillies. But if we have to kick these ponies’ sorry flanks, I won’t feel bad at all.”
“That’s not what I … Never mind. The point is, we have to persevere.” Twilight rested a hoof on Moondancer’s shoulder. “Come on, Moondancer. You never gave up on a homework assignment, no matter how crazy they got. So none of us are giving up now.”
“Heh. Homework.” Moondancer’s eyes traveled up to the underside of the magic dome. “Hey, Twilight, is this shield based on Dew Point’s spell matrix?”
“No, it’s a hexagonal variation on Terse Lock’s system.”
“Oh! I see it now.” Moondancer closed her eyes and fired a bolt of her own magic into the shield. The force field thickened, taking on a marbled appearance as her magic mingled with Twilight’s.
The mob outside shouted again, their voices blending together until they barely sounded like ponies. More of them crashed into the shield, and the feedback into her horn made Moondancer cringe. “Wow, that smarts.”
Rarity was at her side in seconds.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Moondancer insisted.
“No, no, no, this is serious!” Rarity grabbed Moondancer’s face. “All this commotion has done horrible things to your complexion. And just look at the state of your mane and sweater!”
“Umm, this is how they normally look.”
Rarity gasped. “It’s worse than I thought. You. Me. The spa. As soon as we get out of here.”
Twilight Sparkle laughed.
“It’s not funny!” Rarity protested. “We have a fashion emergency on our hooves here!”
“No, no, I wasn’t laughing at you. Look.” Twilight pointed straight up, where the pegasi repeatedly slammed into the shield above. “Does that remind you of anything?”
Moondancer and Mint Truffle looked confused; the rest snickered at the view above, or at least smirked.
The dome shuddered as an oversized watermelon splattered against it. Twilight and Moondancer both groaned as they fired off more magic.
The mob shouted with the voice of some great beast, roaring their approval as more of their members attacked the shield.
In the badlands beyond Equestria’s southern border, a black figure reclined atop a sand dune. The Changeling Queen’s chitinous lips curled into a smile as she gazed into the circle of green flames that hovered in the air before her.
The wind carried the sound of membranous wings to her ears. The Queen stood up and spun to face the two approaching officers. They landed, immediately dropping into a bow.
“Rise.” The Queen permitted a hint of warmth to creep into her voice as she said, “I presume you have good news, General Elytron?”
“Queen Chrysalis, this Captain has a message from General Coxa.”
The other changeling stepped forward. “We have full accountability, Your Highness. Every soldier present. And we’ve just begun a comprehensive after-action report.”
“Excellent.” Chrysalis shook her head slightly, sending her slick, holey mane tumbling down her shoulder. “I’m particularly interested in the reason behind our intelligence failure from this operation.”
General Elytron furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but what intelligence failure?”
“You did notice that force field the ponies used to expel us all, correct?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Well, why didn’t we know beforehoof that the ponies could weaponize food like that? And not just any ponies, but that gaudy pink princess and the Captain of the Guard—our primary targets!”
The changeling Captain was trying his hardest not to cower. Chrysalis could read the fear on his face without taking even a taste of the emotion he radiated. “I’ll pass that along to General Coxa,” he said.
“Very good. You’re all lucky the operation was still a success, otherwise heads would roll for a mistake of that magnitude. Lesson learned, right?”
The wind howled. The Captain stared, slack-jawed, at Queen Chrysalis.
She snickered. “You should close that before you start catching flies, Captain.”
“Apologies, Your Highness, but did you just say that the operation was a success?”
“Yes, of course. What did you think …” Chrysalis noticed her General frantically shaking her head. “Oh. Silly me!” She slapped her own forehead. “I forgot! We never revealed the real purpose to the rank and file.”
The Queen ran a hoof underneath the Captain’s chin, and he quaked in his hooves. “After all,” Chrysalis continued, “soldiers are so much more convincing when they think they’re participating in a real invasion. So, thank you. What is your name, Captain?”
“Chelicerae CCXXXVII.”
“Well, Captain Chelicerae, let this be your first lesson in psychological warfare. Because I trust you already know how to keep your mouth shut.”
Chrysalis stepped away. “Like many prey species, ponies are weak. They lack exoskeletons, claws, and fangs. Their horns are almost worthless for goring. Their disgustingly bright coloration is utterly unsuited to camouflage. Yet there is one reason they haven’t gone extinct yet—can you name it?”
“Teamwork?”
“Precisely! Teamwork, synergy, ‘friendship’ as they call it … By working together, by ignoring the natural drive to selfishness, those ponies have defeated foes that by all rights should have eaten them alive. Give the ponies an external enemy, and they will put aside all differences to trample the enemy underhoof.”
Green fire washed over the Queen—leaving a pink alicorn princess in her place. “So, why give the ponies an external enemy in the first place?”
She transformed again, into a purple unicorn with a star-shaped cutie mark. “We infiltrated their capital, then openly invaded. We flaunted our ability to imitate any of them. Then we let the ponies stage a resistance. Of course, that magic shield took us by surprise. But even without it, we would have found some pretense to call for a retreat.”
She transformed once more, this time into a white pegasus with a blonde mane. “So those silly ponies think they defeated us, unaware of the idea we planted in their delicate little psyches. Because now, even the dimmest of them know that their neighbor or teammate might be one of us in disguise.”
Another flash of green fire, and she wore the form of a white unicorn, her dark mane tied up in a bun. “We gave the ponies an enemy with the face of a pony. Now, we simply wait for their distrust to grow—for them to turn on each other out of fear.”
Chrysalis finally took on her own shape once again. “And then, after the ponies have undermined their greatest weapon, they’ll be ripe for us to sweep in and properly conquer them.”
“By Merostomata …” Chelicerae stared at his Queen, radiating awe, admiration, and a delightful hint of eros.
Chrysalis stroked his chin again, and this time he showed no fear. “You’re adorable,” she said. “Anyway, I believe you had a message to take back to General Coxa?”
“Yes, Your Highness!” Captain Chelicerae gave another quick bow, then turned and flew away. General Elytron followed a few seconds later.
Queen Chrysalis turned, gazing once again into her far-sight spell. Through the fiery green circle, Canterlot was clearly visible—as were the wisps of fear and suspicion that were already appearing, like tendrils of smoke. Dark, billowing clouds of real smoke would pour from the city soon enough.
Chrysalis laughed.
Make no mistake: the most dangerous weapons are neither blades, nor projectiles, nor magic spells. For a blade is nothing without the will to wield it; a spell is but a piece of paper without a mind to cast it. But a single idea can motivate a thousand ponies to raise their weapons against a supposed enemy. Prejudices can kill as well as any spear, and suspicion can destroy more thoroughly than any projectile. And the thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat can leave a fallout more insidious than any incendiary spell—whether here, or in Equestria, or in the world beyond its borders.
