Fluttershy's Extremely Odd Jobs

by MythrilMoth

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 4948

Pinkie Pie realizes she has no idea what Fluttershy does for money, and is determined to find out.

One day, while working at Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie comes to a startling realization.

She has no idea how Fluttershy earns money.

For Pinkie Pie, not knowing something so important about one of her closest friends is intolerable. But when she asks Fluttershy, the only answer she'll give is:

"I do odd jobs."

Now, Pinkie Pie is determined to find out exactly what Fluttershy does to make ends meet...

(Rated Teen for mild risque humor.)

Published 2016-01-30 23:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-30 23:50:02 UTC

What Does She Even Do?

"Thank you dearie! Come again!" Mrs. Cake swept four bits into the register as she waved at the departing back of a buttery yellow pegasus, whose long, beautiful pink tail dragged behind her as she trotted lightly out the door to Sugar Cube Corner.

Mr. Cake tilted his head. "Umm, honey? Wasn't the cake she just bought seven bits?"

"Well, yes," Mrs. Cake said, "but I always undercharge Fluttershy. The poor dear gets such a raw deal from a lot of the sellers in the town market, and, well...she doesn't have a job."

Mr. Cake frowned. "She doesn't?"

"Not that I know of," Mrs. Cake said. At that moment, Pinkie Pie trotted in from the kitchen.

"The twins are fed and the triple chocolate white chocolate chip walnut brownies are in the oven!" Pinkie announced.

"Thanks, Pinkie," Mr. Cake said.

"Pinkie," Mrs. Cake began, "what does Fluttershy do for a living?"

"Huh? Fluttershy?" Pinkie tilted her head. "Umm...I guess she takes care of animals?"

"Yes, but she takes care of wild animals," Mr. Cake said. "That's not really a job. I mean, she doesn't get paid to do that, right?"

Pinkie paused. "Huh. Now that you mention it..." She scratched her chin with a hoof. "Can you gimme a second?" She shot upstairs in a pink blur. The Cakes distantly heard the whirr-thunk of Pinkie descending into her secret party cave.

Five minutes later, they heard a shocked gasp echoing through the ductwork.

Thirty seconds after that, Pinkie popped out of the register, eyes wide and haunted. "I...I have no idea what Fluttershy does for a living," she said quietly.

"Huh. Well, I guess it doesn't matter," Mr. Cake said. "We were just curious."

"No, no, NO," Pinkie whimpered, clutching her head with her hooves. "You don't understand! This is a huge deal! How could I not know what one of my best friends does for money?" She started to pace, drawing the attention of various customers. "I work at Sugar Cube Corner for room and board and enough pay for the stuff I need, plus I get paid for the parties I plan, even though I only charge enough to cover the party supplies. Rarity has her boutiques here in Ponyville and Canterlot, plus she sells off any gems she finds that are just too valuable to use for dresses. Rainbow Dash get paid for her weather patrol duties and now she's got a stipend from the Wonderbolts for reserve duty, even though half her paycheck is going to paying off the damage she did to the weather factory during that whole Tank fiasco. Applejack has Sweet Apple Acres. Twilight Sparkle used to live off research stipends from Canterlot, but now, well...she's a princess and she doesn't have to pay for anything, and Spike's still getting an allowance from both Celestia and Twilight's parents." She paused, then looked up at the ceiling. "But Fluttershy...I don't have anything in my notes about how she earns her bits!" She sank to her hind knees, throwing her front hooves up to the sky and flailing them around. "This is a disaster!"

The Cakes looked at each other.

Mrs. Cake cleared her throat.

"Umm...why don't you just ask her?"

Pinkie stopped flailing around and gasped. "I SHOULD ASK HER!" She shot to the door in a blur.

The door hadn't even closed behind her when her head shot back in. "Take the brownies out in 18 minutes!"

And then she was gone.

* * * * *

Pinkie Pie found Fluttershy sitting in the warm sun outside her cottage, a coffee cake and several teacups laid out on a blanket. Bunnies, chipmunks, butterflies, birds, and a bear all sat around her, waiting as she daintily poured tea.

"FLUTTERSHY!"

The birds and butterflies took off, two bunnies scampered into a bush, a chipmunk went up a tree, and Fluttershy squeaked in fright. She calmed down quickly when she realized who had shrieked her name. "Oh, hello Pinkie Pie," she said. "You startled me." Her eyebrows drew together disapprovingly. "And you startled my animal friends."

"Sorry!" Pinkie gasped, plopping down on her rear. "I just really really need to ask you something really really important!"

"Oh goodness! Alright. What is it you wanted to ask?"

Pinkie took a deep breath.

"What do you do for a living?"

Fluttershy blinked. "Huh?"

"Your job. How you make your bits. What do you do? Because I don't know, and if I don't know, that means nopony knows, but your friends should know something like that about you and if we don't know how you make money to provide for yourself and all your furry friends, well...that's just terrible!" Pinkie started hyperventilating.

"Oh...my..." Fluttershy frowned mildly, more a puzzled frown than an upset frown.

"So...what...do...you...do?" Pinkie asked between heaving breaths.

"Oh. Well. I, umm..." Fluttershy brushed one hoof with the other delicately. "I actually...mostly do odd jobs. Just...whatever ponies need done."

"Oh. Like what?"

Fluttershy coughed. "Speaking of jobs, shouldn't you be at work? I'm pretty sure you're not on a break."

"EEP!" Pinkie shot into the air, scrambling ineffectually with all four legs. "Gottagowe'lltalkaboutthislaterbye!"

As she darted off into Ponyville, Fluttershy exhaled sharply. "That was unexpected."

Angel chittered at her.

"I'm not hiding anything from my friends, really. I just...I don't want them to think I'm...you know..."

Angel groaned, facepawed, and pointed at the cake.

"Oh. Right. Sorry..."

* * * * *

"She said she does odd jobs," Pinkie says. "Does that mean her jobs are so odd she doesn't want to talk about them? Or does it mean she has an odd number of jobs? What does it mean, Twilight?"

Princess Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes and marked her place in her book. "It just means she does things that ponies need done that they only need done every so often, or things that only need to be done once," she explained. "It means she doesn't have a steady job, and just does whatever she needs to do to make ends meet." She frowned. "I can't believe it never occurred to me to wonder what Fluttershy does for a living, though." She sighed. "It seems like every so often I'm getting a reminder of how much I still have to learn about friendship."

"Eh," Rainbow Dash scoffed from where she lay on a pillow across the room, reading the newest Daring Do book. "If Fluttershy wanted us to know what she does, she'd tell us. It's not like it's any of our business."

"Of COURSE it's our business!" Pinkie said. "She's our FRIEND, Rainbow Dash! I know everything and I mean EVERYTHING about all my friends all across Equestria. Or...I thought I did." Pinkie's hair and ears drooped. "I can't believe I didn't know something as simple as this about Fluttershy."

Rainbow sighed. "Look, Pinkie...Fluttershy's a hard pony to figure out sometimes. I've known her since Cloudsdale, and believe me, getting her to talk about anything but animals is like getting Derpy to NOT screw something up when she helps with the weather patrol." She tilted her head. "You know," she said slowly, "maybe that's why Fluttershy doesn't want anypony to know she does odd jobs. It's because Derpy's an odd jobber, and you know what her reputation around town is like..."

"I thought Derpy worked for the Ponyville Post Office," Twilight said.

"Only part-time," Rainbow replied with a shrug. "Usually just when they're short-hooved. She's had and been fired from just about every part-time job in town."

"That's...kinda sad," Twilight said.

"Eh. It never really seems to bother her."

"FOCUS, ponies!" Pinkie snapped. "We need to focus on Fluttershy here!"

"Pinkie," Twilight said patiently, "you already have your answer. She does odd jobs. That's not the most ideal way to get by, but if it works for her, then what does it matter?"

"It matters because I can't not know!" Pinkie shot to her hooves. "I'm GOING to find out just what kind of odd jobs Fluttershy does! And maybe even what kind of even jobs she does!" She produced a pith helmet from nowhere and snatched up a notepad and pencil from Twilight's desk. "My study begins now! Wish me luck!"

As she galloped out of the room, Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you...stop her?"

Twilight chewed on the inside of her cheek. "You know..." She shook her head. "No. I made a fool of myself over her Pinkie Sense, I think I'll let her make a fool of herself over this and call it even."

Rainbow's eyes narrowed to pinpricks. "Seriously?"

Twilight smirked and went back to reading.

* * * * *

"Pinkie Pie's Observational Journal, day one, entry one. I've just observed the delivery of a wire cage to Subject Fluttershy's cottage by Applejack. She's taking it around back. I'm in pursuit."

Stealthily, Pinkie crept through the trees, disturbing numerous small rodents and birds as she followed Fluttershy and the package. Fluttershy was humming and clucking gently as she set the wire cage down in a small paddock surrounded by chicken wire. It was the one part of Fluttershy's yard that was devoid of animals. Fluttershy flew back around to the side where she kept her chickens and nosed into the coop.

"Here, Elizabeak! Here, Rebeaka!" She clucked a few times, then drew her head out. Three hens fluttered out, lining up in front of her. She tilted her head. "Henrietta? I didn't call you!"

Henrietta preened herself and clucked, holding her head up high.

Fluttershy giggled. "Okay, you silly hen. You can come too." She clucked and smacked her flank, and the hens followed her around back. Pinkie watched.

Once the hens were inside the paddock, Fluttershy closed and locked it, then opened the cage. "Come on out, Roy! There's a good boy. Your little girlfriends are here!"

A rooster strutted out of the cage, crowing and puffing himself up.

Fluttershy giggled. "You kids have fun now! I'll be back a little later." With that, she flew away, gathering a bag of assorted nuts on her way up into the trees.

Pinkie frowned and tilted her head, scrunching her muzzle up. "Now what in the—"

She trailed off as she watched the hens and the rooster for a few minutes. Her eyes grew progressively wider.

A few minutes later, she staggered through a line of bushes into a clearing on the east side of Fluttershy's property.

"Fluttershy's odd job number one uncovered: chicken dating service. I think. Continuing observation."

* * * * *

"Pinkie Pie's Observational Journal, day one, entry two. After spending all day watching Subject Fluttershy look after her animals, I've followed her to the Ponyville Retirement Village..."

Pinkie Pie tailed Fluttershy into the community activity center of the retirement village. As soon as she entered, Fluttershy glanced nervously around, then ducked into a vacant room. All around Pinkie Pie, creaky old ponies shuffled around in carpet slippers and bathrobes and pajamas.

One who looked alarmingly like her dear departed Granny Pie snuck up behind her. "Would you care for a molasses biscuit, dearie?" she croaked.

Pinkie blinked at the "biscuit". It was a congealed lump of the poor old pony's medicine. "N-no thanks, I'm good."

A nurse came storming through the halls, clapping her hooves together. "Alright, everypony!" she said cheerfully. "Today's show is about to start. If you would all please head for the community room—oh, hello there, Miss Pinkie! Are you here visiting somepony?"

"Huh? Oh, umm...I'm just looking around!" Pinkie said. "You know, seeing if this is a good place to bring my mom and dad when they retire. Haha!"

The nurse tilted her head curiously. "Well, alright. We're about to have our Silent Movie Matinee. You're welcome to stay and watch."

"W-well..." Just then, Pinkie saw Fluttershy emerge from the room she'd ducked into, dressed in a tuxedo and top hat with all the accessories. Pinkie stared.

Then she remembered she was conducting secret surveillance, and ducked behind the nurse. "SurefineI'llstay!" she whispered.

Fluttershy trotted past the nurse, not noticing Pinkie Pie. "Is everypony ready?" she asked.

"Just about. Thank you for coming down. Our regular pianist has the pony pox."

"Oh, it's no problem," Fluttershy said brightly.

For the next hour and a half, Pinkie Pie watched from a stealthy hidden position as a crowd of old ponies watched some really old silent movies. Behind the screen, Fluttershy sat at a piano, merrily playing the music that accompanied the films and entertaining the elderly residents while the projectionist changed reels.

After the last movie ended, the projectionist wheeled away his projector, and the nurse brought in a gramophone. "And now, for a special treat," she said as she placed a record on the turntable, "our special guest piano pony has a surprise for you!"

Fluttershy stood and took a bow. As the music began, she did a jaunty tap dance routine, to the delight of the old ponies. When she was done, she received a round of applause, for which she took a bow and gave a bright smile. She then waved goodbye and left the building.

Pinkie Pie scraped her jaw off the floor. "Fluttershy's odd job number two uncovered: secret surprise showpony. Continuing observation."

"Hey, you want muh jello, shweet cheeksh?"

Pinkie stared at the mangled jello cup a wrinkly, shriveled prune of a stallion was offering her.

His dentures were floating in it.

She shuddered. "No thanks, I'm good." She escaped out the nearest window.

* * * * *

"Pinkie Pie's Observational Journal, day two, entry three."

Pinkie Pie watched as Fluttershy, wearing saddlebags and a hoof-woven saddle blanket, bought a ticket and boarded a train. She quickly dashed up to the counter, bought a ticket for the same train, and stealthily boarded the car behind Fluttershy's.

"Subject Fluttershy boarded a morning train to Baltimare. I'm on board and following her."

When the train pulled into the station, Pinkie followed Fluttershy at a discreet distance. Fluttershy was looking left and right as she walked through the crowded city streets. As they continued walking, Pinkie couldn't help but notice that the ponies around them were wearing progressively stranger outfits. It almost seemed like the ponies here thought it was Nightmare Night, but some of the stuff they were wearing was just...weird.

Finally, Fluttershy walked through the doors of a large building with a sign that said "BALTIMARE CONVENTION CENTER". Huge banners draped on the building's walls proclaimed:

NEIGHPONICON: EQUESTRIA'S LARGEST ANIME AND MANGA CONVENTION

Today Through Sunday

Pinkie scratched her head. "Huh?" Shrugging, she followed Fluttershy through the door.

Ponies in black and orange vests with big laminated nametags stopped her and directed her into a long line. She ended up waiting in line for over an hour before coming to a table where a pony demanded fifty bits for a laminated badge and a couple of pamphlets. "Wow, this investigation is really hurting my wallet," Pinkie muttered as she hoofed over the bits and accepted her badge and pamphlets. Shaking her head, she moved through the crowd, searching for Fluttershy.

She finally saw a familiar long pink tail disappear through a doorway. She took up a position nearby and waited.

Several minutes later, Fluttershy came back out, wearing a pleated blue skirt, a white blouse with a blue collar flap and a yellow neckerchief, and a green wool sweater. Her mane and tail were braided, and she had on huge round glasses that magnified her eyes. For some reason, she was also wearing a headband with big white cat ears on top.

Pinkie gawked. "What the—?!"

Fluttershy wove expertly through the crowd, her saddlebags bouncing against her flanks. Pinkie followed her, constantly bumping into costumed ponies. At long last, Fluttershy went through a door into a room full of tables loaded down with books, posters, records, toys, and all sorts of other things. Fluttershy talked to a pony in a black and orange vest, then was escorted to an empty table. She opened up her saddlebag and withdrew a stack of comics, a sketchpad, and drawing implements, which she laid out before her. Finally, she placed a large placard at the front of the table which said:

TAREME NEKOSHAI DOUJIN ARTS

Pinkie tilted her head, brow furrowed. "Okay, I have no idea what's going on here." She crept around to a place where she could observe Fluttershy without being seen, then waited.

She didn't have to wait long. Ponies began trotting up to the table; some bought the books Fluttershy had brought with her, while others seemed to be making requests. Fluttershy started drawing things for the ponies lining up at her table; the ponies seemed to be excited as they paid her. Her saddlebags were rapidly filling with bits as her pile of comics dwindled and she drew more and more sketches.

After almost an hour of this, Pinkie slipped away from her hiding spot and intercepted one of the happy customers who had just purchased a comic. "Excuse me," she said. "Can I just take a quick look at that? I'll give it right back, I just wanna see."

"Huh? Oh, sure, I guess." The pony hoofed over the comic a bit nervously. "You, uhh...new around here?"

"You could say that." Pinkie opened the comic and looked through it. She blinked, tilting her head. It looked to be some sort of comic about a couple of stallions who went to high school together.

After ten pages, she closed it and hoofed it back over. She pointed a shaky hoof at Fluttershy. "Sh-she draws this?"

"Yeah," the pony said. "Tareme Nekoshai is the best doujinshi artist in Equestria!" He pranced lightly away, headed for another table of merchandise.

Pinkie Pie took one last glance at Fluttershy, who was still drawing, shook her head, and left the convention center.

"Fluttershy's odd job number three uncovered: she draws really weird comics about teenage stallions, umm...kissing and stuff. Continuing investigation...after I eat enough cake to go into a food coma and forget the last hour of my life."

* * * * *

"Pinkie Pie's Observational Journal, day five, entry four. Subject Fluttershy returned to Ponyville yesterday. I was forced to stay in Baltimare an extra day working a temp job at a diner to earn train fare back to Ponyville after I blew all my money on stuff I don't even understand at that convention.

"Upon returning to Ponyville, I learned that the subject had gone to Cloudsdale for the afternoon. I borrowed the Twinkling Balloon and am in pursuit."

As soon as Pinkie Pie arrived in Cloudsdale, she caught the scent of a party in the air. Tying several floaty balloons to herself, she navigated the cloudy lanes of Cloudsdale, landing on the solid street surfaces whenever she could. Before long, she happened upon a big festival in the center of town. Several Wonderbolts were wandering around, a vendor was selling pies and treats, and a general air of jubilation filled the sky.

She flagged down a passing pegasus. "What's going on?" she asked.

The stallion she'd stopped rolled his eyes. "It's the Cloudsdale Cloud Fair, of course," he said. "Where you been, on the ground?"

"Uh, yeah? I'm an earth pony."

The stallion blinked at her. "Oh." He tilted his head. "Then what're you doin' up here?" Shaking his head and snorting, he flew off.

Pinkie blew on her forelock. "Rude!" She made her way through the festival, taking in everything around her. There were gaming booths, more food stands, music playing, and pegasi racing overhead. She thought she caught a flash of rainbow overhead for a moment, but soon it was gone.

As she wandered through the festival, she caught sight of Fluttershy, seated behind a long cloud table alongside several other pegasi, most of which were large stallions. The table was covered in bowls and jars of liquid rainbow. A crowd gathered around the table, cheering and making bets.

An older pegasus stallion in a tall stovepipe hat hovered over the crowd and held up a megaphone. "Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the twelfth annual Rainbow Guzzling Contest! You all know the rules. Contestants, you may begin...NOW!"

The ponies at the table started picking up bowls of rainbow and guzzling them. Pinkie cringed. Sweat streamed from the brows of the pegasi as bowl after bowl of rainbow disappeared.

After two bowls of pure rainbow, two large, sturdy stallions flew away screaming, their faces turning different colors as smoke poured out of their noses. A mare quit after her third bowl. The crowd's cheering and laughing increased in volume.

One by one, the pegasi dropped out as more and more rainbow was consumed. Incredibly, Fluttershy was staying strong; she didn't seem affected by the spicy heat of the rainbow at all. Finally, it came down to Fluttershy and one large, muscular stallion with a mohawk and intense, dark eyes. He stared Fluttershy down as he grabbed a jar of rainbow and popped off the lid.

Fluttershy met his gaze, then picked up an even larger jar and daintily unscrewed the lid.

The crowd fell into an expectant hush. Pinkie watched, fascinated.

At some unspoken signal, the two pegasi chugged.

The stallion's eyes bugged out. He screamed as steam blew out of his ears. With an impressively loud, flaming fart, he went shooting off into the sky, trailing rainbow-colored smoke behind him. The crowd roared with cheers and laughter.

"THE WINNER, FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW...FLUTTERSHY!"

Two mares flittered over to Fluttershy. She was given a sash, a trophy, and a large jug of milk. She quickly drank the milk, then waved meekly to the crowd as the sash was lowered over her. The pegasus with the megaphone flew over, carrying a glass box containing six large, sparkling gems in different hues of the rainbow. Fluttershy graciously accepted it, hoisting it above her head and posing for pictures. All around Pinkie, ponies were passing bits back and forth. After several seconds of posing, Fluttershy put the trophy and the jewels in her saddlebag, then flew off into the clouds.

"Fluttershy's odd job number four uncovered: rainbow taster. Continuing investigation."

Pinkie's balloons started to pop. She yelped and frantically scrambled back to where she'd docked the Twinkling Balloon.

* * * * *

"Pinkie Pie's Observational Journal, day seven, entry five. Subject Fluttershy took an afternoon train to Fillydelphia. I followed her. It's night now, and Fluttershy is walking into what looks like some kind of arena in the seedier part of town."

"Hey lady, you gonna stand there all day talkin' to yourself, or you gonna buy a ticket?" A grumpy stallion seated behind a counter with a sign on the front that read 'TICKETS - 12 BITS' glowered at Pinkie. "You're holdin' up the line!"

"Whoopsie! Sorry!" Pinkie pulled on her springy forelock; twelve coins popped out of her mane, each with a loud 'ding' sound, and stacked themselves in a neat pile on the counter. The stallion stared at them, slack-jawed, then numbly hoofed over a ticket.

With a bright smile, Pinkie pronked off into the arena and found her seat.

The arena was packed, noisy, and smelly. Concession vendors roamed the stands, selling nachos, popcorn, sodas, and pickles. Pinkie bought a little of everything while she waited to find out what exactly was happening. Murmurs from the crowd were only so helpful. The one and only clue she had was a boxing ring in the center of the arena.

The crowd noise muted slightly as a unicorn stallion in a gaudy gold jacket walked into the ring. His short, dark mane was combed back and held firm with liberal amounts of gel, and he wore sunglasses with cheap grey plastic frames. His horn glowed pale pearl-grey, and a microphone descended from above the ring.

"Fillies and gentlecolts! This! Is! E! B! W!"

The crowd roared with thunderous applause.

"Llllllllet's get right to our first match! You know him, you love him, but you wouldn't want to get in the ring with him! Give it up for GRRRRRIZZLY ADDAMS!"

Harpsichord music punctuated by snapping fingers played from the PA system as a massive black bear in a pinstripe suit, with a tiny, waxed mustache, was wrangled into the ring. The ponies cheered wildly.

"Aaaaaand our challenger! Froooooom PONYVILLE! The Hulkin' Horse! The Roid Rager Himself! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULK BICEPS!"

"YYYYYEEEEAH!" Bulk Biceps roared as he vaulted into the ring, shaking it upon landing. He flexed his massive muscles and bellowed a challenge to the bear, who roared at him in reply.

Pinkie watched in mild confusion and a degree of alarm as Bulk Biceps wrestled the black bear. After only a minute and a half of extreme pony-on-bear violence, Bulk Biceps ran screaming like a little filly. The audience jeered and threw popcorn boxes and soda cups at him as he fled the arena.

For the next hour, various ponies from all walks of life, some wearing flamboyant costumes and introduced with colorful stage names, entered the ring, facing off against a variety of bears, almost all of which were in costume. The bears always—always—won, and with each passing mauling, Pinkie grew more and more uncomfortable amid the frenzied crowd.

*This isn't fun...*

The lighting shifted dramatically, and the crowd fell silent.

The announcer pony returned to the ring.

"And now, our main event," he said as quietly as the magical amplification of the sound system would allow. "In this corner, we have the most infamous, bloodthirsty monster in the history of Extreme Bear Wrestling. The only bear in EBW who has ever killed a pony. I give you..."

He took a deep breath, then boomed:

"PAI! MEI! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"

Hooves stomped the floor, shaking the arena, as a massive cage was lowered into the ring. It opened, and a huge red panda with enormous, bushy white eyebrows and a long, silky white beard stomped out, gnawing on a massive bamboo pole. Its claws were long and lethal-looking, and there was a cold, deadly intensity to its eyes.

"And in this corner...THE REIGNING CHAM-PEEN OF EBW..."

Four pink spotlights trained on the ramp leading up to the ring, forming a vague butterfly shape.

"THE FLYING MARVEL! THE PONY OF MASS DESTRUCTION! THE PEGASUS POWERHOUSE!"

A costumed mare strode up the ramp, flanked by stallions in tuxedos. Blue-green eyes blazed confidently from behind the sky-blue butterfly mask she wore. Her mane and tail were tightly braided and wrapped in white linen sheaths.

"PLEASE WELCOME...PAPILLON BLUE!"

The crowd noise tripled.

Pinkie watched in shock as the tiny little mare darted around the ring, effortlessly dodging every charge and swipe from the lethal panda. Her shock turned to wide-eyed, jaw-dropping awe as Papillon Blue administered a flying drop kick, a suplex, a piledriver, and a submission hold to a bear five times her size.

After three of the most bizarre minutes of intense pony-on-bear violence Pinkie Pie had ever witnessed, the bell clanged repeatedly. Papillon Blue stood proudly atop a thoroughly defeated Pai Mei Ling, whose eyes were crossed and whose tongue lolled out comically.

"THE WINNER! AND STILL CHAMPEEN! PAPILLON! BLUE!"

The crowd cheered as Papillon Blue accepted a large gold belt and posed with it for a minute as camera flashes went off around the arena. She then slung the belt over her back and strode out of the arena. Pinkie's entire body started to shudder violently. Acting on a hunch, she slipped out of the crowd and followed Papillon Blue at a discreet distance.

In the bowels of the arena, Papillon Blue walked into an office whose door said "MANAGER", closing the door behind her. Pinkie pulled a cup out of her mane and leaned against the door, using it to listen.

"Good show out there tonight, kid."

"You'll make sure that poor bear isn't hurt too badly, right?"

"Of course, of course. We've got the finest vets on call. Err...you realize Ling's vet bills are coming out of your winnings, of course."

"Of course."

"And sedatives, medication, locker fees, belt fees—"

"Yes, yes, I know."

"Just making sure." A long moment of silence. "Alright, adding it all up, your take's seven hundred and forty bits. See you in two weeks?"

"Oh, um...better make it four. I've been taking too many out of town trips lately and this'll hold me for a while."

"Suit yourself, kid."

Suddenly, Pinkie's left ear flopped, followed by her right eye fluttering, then her left knee twitching. She was too shellshocked to process this, and therefore ended up getting smashed against the wall by the opening door as Papillon Blue—or rather, Fluttershy—left with her jingling bag of bits.

"Fluttershy's odd job number five uncovered: professional bear wrestler. This concludes my observation. I don't think my Pinkie brain can take much more of this..."

* * * * *

A weary, dishevelled Pinkie trotted into the library in Twilight's castle. Twilight blinked. "Hey Pinkie. Haven't seen you in a while." She tilted her head. "Are you okay?"

"Wow, Pinkie Pie, you look like crap," Rainbow Dash, who was reading comics with Spike, observed.

"I've...seen things..." Pinkie flumped to the floor.

"Did you ever find out what Fluttershy's odd jobs are?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie glared at her. "Don't even," she said listlessly. She promptly fell asleep.

* * * * *

When Pinkie Pie returned to Sugar Cube Corner just before dawn the following morning, the lights came on upstairs, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake descended into the shop. Neither of them looked very happy.

"Pinkie Pie, we need to talk," Mr. Cake said. "You've kinda blown off your job for the past week..."