When I fall asleep it was all black. And then... BOW!! Color. Reds and greens and yellows and blues. It was happy and light inside. Until the dream started kicking in.
"Hello, fair maiden," a knight of red armor said to me, "Would you like to ride on my trusty steed?"
"With pleasure, my knight," I said. He helped me up onto his horse and we rode off into the sunset. I woke up and that's the end of my dream...
Ok. Ok. I kid you. It's just the dream was so scary and life like. I don't ever wish to relive the hell of a nightmare. But if I don't then there will be no story to tell. Do I have to retell my nightmare...? If I must... Fine, I'll tell you.
It all started when I was asleep...
I laid done in my bed thinking about her. Worrying about her. Crying for her. I don't know what to do about her and cancer or her death or her well being. I can't worry now. I need sleep, I thought. I closed my eyes and everything exploded in my mine the second I passed out. Like most of my dreams, I'm my OC. Or at least one of them. The difference was, I was jumping from OC to OC. First I was Ruby, then Sapphire, then Emerald. They were all happy at first until they found out their adopted grandmother died. Then I was in a second person view. It was so weird... But maybe describing in detail will help instead of just spewing out actions.
There Ruby (or I) was, sitting on the bed when Sapphire ran in. "Hey, Ruby," she said poking her head in. "Dad wants us all down stairs. He said its important."
"OK," Ruby smiled. She hoped off the bed and joyfully walk with her sister to Emerald's room.
They knocked on the door and opened it without answer. "Emma!" Sapphire shouted as she stepped in. Emerald poked her head out of the pages of a Daring Do book and tighten her face with irritation. "Dad wants us."
Emerald straighten her face, but rolled her eyes as she did and set her book down. "Come on, little sis," Ruby smiled, "You can read A. K. Yearly later." Emerald nodded with a smile and walk with us down stairs in the castle courtyard. To their surprise, Outkast, Solar and Flare were standing with their dad.
The boys stood right next to them and smiled weakly. "Um... Dad?" Emerald squeaked.
"Not now, Lucky Stone," he said reading a letter from Ponyville. He seemed to be reading it over and over. Everytime he finished, he scratched his head and rubbed his eyes. He then read it again. We all stood there staring at him to say said something.
"Dad!" Sapphire shouted. In a flash, I switched through Sapphire's eyes and saw Shining Armor crying. "Dad...?"
"Are you crying, Sir?" Outkast asked.
"No," Armor barked. He then cleared his throat. "No... Its liquid pride..."
Emerald stepped up to him and put her head on him shoulder. "We all know its not liquid pride, dad," she said, "What's wrong?"
I flashed through Emerald's eyes and looked worryingly into Armor's eyes. "Its just that..." he sniffed, "I got intell that Ruby's and Sapphire's adoptive grandmother..."
"WHAT ABOUT HER?!?!" Sapphire exploded, "IS SHE OK!?" Armor wiped away his tears and took a deep breath. "TELL US, DAD!!!"
"Sapphire," Emerald said calmly, "Be still. I'm sure shes fine." Emerald looked into her dad's eyes again and smiled, but Armor couldn't even glance at her. "Dad...?"
My dream flashed through Ruby's eyes. Emerald looked at her and frowned. Her eyes said, I'm sorry. Then everything when dark. The sky turned blood red and tears streaming down Ruby's face ran black. I flashed through the blurry vision of Sapphire's sorrow eyes and then through Emerald's. My dream self appeared and through her eyes, I started crying. They all hugged and cried together. I dropped to the floor and screamed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" I cried. I woke up in my bedroom gasping for breath. I sat up and held my cheat tightly. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I sat there for a minute or two, catching my breath. I took deep heavy breaths and then, I cried. I cried for what felt like hours on end. I started hyperventilating. I couldn't calm down so I call the one person that I knew could help me. My boyfriend, Darwin.
The phone ring for a second or two. I thank God he had his phone. The second he picked up, I felt bad for calling him and waking him up, but at the same time, I needed him.
"Hello....?" he groaned. I just kept breathing into the phone. I didn't know if he knew it was me or not. "Nise... Are you OK?"
"Nightmare..." I whispered.
"What did you say?"
"Night-MARE!!" I yelled, "I had a bad dream!!!" I took another huff of breath and let it out in a shivering sigh. I began stuttering. "I... I had.... I... Had a... Nigh.... A NIGH....."
"Babe, Its OK," Darwin said softly, "Tell me what happened?" I blocked out his words and kept stuttering. An image of my grandmother passed out on the floor popped in my head and I screamed. "Nise, what's wrong? What happened?"
"She.... She... She when gone..." I shivered, "She's gone...."
"Who is?" he asked.
"Granny Mac...."
"Who...?"
"THE GIRL'S GRANDMA!! MY GRANDMA!!! SHE DIED IN MY DREAM!!!!!" I could hear Darwin sigh over the other end of the phone. I felt like he had a heart attack as well. "She's gone..."
"Is she really gone?" he asked, "Or was in just in the dream?" I looked up and had another heart attack. I realized that she might be alive or dead at this very moment. I hoped out the bed and ran into the living room where her medical bed stood tall.
She was still breathing. "Thank God," I sighed quietly. I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, grabbing the container of water. I poured a glass and walked back to my room. When I sat on the bed a picked up the phone.
"... Hello...?" Darwin said in a worried tone.
"Yeah, I'm back," I sniffed, "I just checked on her and got some water."
"Is she OK?"
"Yeah. She's breathing. She's asleep." After a sigh of relief from Darwin, a minute of pore silence passed. I felt alone again and paniced. "Darwin! Are you still awake?!"
"Yes," he said in a frightened voice, "But just barely."
"Don't leave me. Please..." He fell quite for a second and sighed again. I didn't know weather or not to smile or cry.
"Fine," he said.
I smiled and cried tears of joy. "I love you," I cooed.
"I love you too. If it wasn't for my parents, I'd help you like this any night, but since its the weekend, I'll stay up for as long as I can with you. I'm pretty tired."
"So am I," I yawned, "Hm... Maybe we'll have a phone sleep over again."
Darwin chuckled. "Maybe." I heard him shift and he yawned heavily. I laid down and got comfortable under the covers. "I wish you were here right now."
My eyes opened wide and tears of happiness and warmth fill my eyes. "I wish I was there too."
We talked for awhile before silence fell before both of us. I felt myself drift into soft slumber. I felt calm and relaxed. My grandma's end was a thing of the past... That is... Until morning...
1/23/16
1:26 am
The middle of the night... It had to be in the middle of the night... And it was her 3rd one... Why, God? I'm not ready... We both aren't ready... Why....? Why.........?
"LIN!!!" my mother screamed as she nearly broke down my bedroom door, "GET UP AND HELP ME LOOK FOR THE AMBULANCE!!!!"
I shuffled around in fear. Ambulance? I thought, Why do I need to look out for.....? No.... I hopped out the bed and rushed on a pair of pajama pants. Sleeping in the nude was starting to really become a hazard. I was told at the age of 7 and now I see exactly why. Even now, I still don't care if I walk outside, after a fire alarm goes off, completely naked.
When I walked out my room and into the living room, my mom looked up from the phone. "Put a shirt on," she said. I took two more steps and saw her.
Again, God, I ask why?
I ran back in my room a shuffled through all my clothes. All I needed was a shirt and yet I couldn't even get one without having a problem.
Mom called again and groaned in irritation. "Hurry up!!!"
"Argh, where are you?" I said to a shirt (any shirt) that could 'hear' me. "Got'cha!" I grabbed a shirt and rushed it on. "I'm coming!"
I ran in the living room and stood still to the sight of her twitching. "Come here," my mom said. I couldn't quite move. I was paralyzed with fear. Sadness. Guilt. "Lin!"
"Uh, what do you want me to do?" I asked with a shake in my voice.
"Look outside for the ambulance." I walked over to the window and opened the blinds. "Are they here?" I looked outside and turned my head to get a better angle. I saw no lights. I heard no loud alarms. Nothing.
"No," I answered.
"Argh, OK. Come here." I walked quickly to her side and waited for instructions. "Hold her just like this."
"OK..." I pushed her back away from me like mom showed me.
"Just hold her like that." She walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" I looked up at her then looked back down. "Yes... I just asked for an ambulance and I was wondering where it..... NO, WAIT! I SEE IT! ITS HERE...! Yes... Thank you so much... Bye..." She hung up the phone and walked into her room. I looked up again and she came out putting on a coat. "I'm going down to get them, OK?" I nodded and she walk up to the bed. "The ambulance is here, mom. I'm gonna go get them, OK?"
She gargled a bit. I didn't know if that was a yes or a 'hurry up!' I watched my mom leave me with her and for a minute, I thought was what I needed to say. It was all happening too fast and all I could get out was:
"Grandma..." I quivered, "It's Lin... I just want you to know that I love you... No matter what happens tonight, I will always love you..." My mind opened up a list of reasons. I thought of poems and rhythms. It was too much to say now so just started talking about the good times. Even that was too much so shortened it to the best of my ability. "Do you remember Christmas?" I bet my 69 dollars she didn't but I just kept talking. "Or Thanksgiving? Do you, grandma?" I saw a bit of a nod. "Just think of the good things."
Mom walked back in, stomping with each step. "OK, mom... They're here... Just hold on a little bit longer, OK?" Another small nod came from her. I really couldn't tell if she nod. "I'll be back... I'll bring them up and we gon' get you outta here."
To make a long story short, they come up stairs and took her to the ER. Later that night, I couldn't really sleep and I didn't go to church. I felt like crap. After 11 in the morning, I felt a bit better. All the rest of the day, my mom left me home. She had more on her plate then just my grandmother. She had my grandfather, my auntie, me myself and herself to worry about. I'm 16 anyways. I could care less if she took a one way trip to France. I just talked on the phone and ate nearly everything in the frig. EVERYTHING..... I am one fat little skinny girl.
I feel so much better after writing this... Speaking of food, I want some pie...... I'll be back..... RUBY HEARTS!! AWAY!!!
