Of Broken Innocence and Shattered Realities

It was new, and as such, she was excited.

With the countless amount of time spent performing this task, never in her life had Dinky done it on her own.

In the past, it was always with her beloved mother, Ditzy. Always caring; so full of heart and strength.

According to her, because Ditzy’s eyes were mostly never focussed, they could always discern any flaws that would go unnoticed by other ponies.

And as proof, the grey pegasus was always right when it came to dressing her up her foal for special occasions.

Such as the event of Nightmare Night that came to pass a few months ago. Her choices on making little Dinky dress up as a royal guard, with strategically cut cardboard, layered with wall paint and party glitters were,... dangerously approaching the height of originality.

And if it weren’t for the obviously stunned looks plastered all over the other foals’ faces, as well as their parents during the festivities, Dinky would have thought her mother to be a decent seamstress. But now, she would always see her as the best. Even greater than that fancy white mare with purple mane who moved in town a few months back.

...

Now, Dinky’s mother had granted her access to a new path toward independence.

Of course, in no way would that translate to her mother not aiding in any form or way.

She would check-up on her filly from time to time, just to make sure nothing wrong would occur during her first time...

She just wouldn’t directly do it with her.

And that was what made it so exciting, and new!

Dinky Doo was about to take her first bath, alone.

~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~

In the end, the task of cleaning oneself was more difficult than Dinky might have imagined it.

Being in charge, compared to the countless times witnessing her mother cleaning her little body, made her realise just how draining it had been.

Not that she had quite the difficulty in dealing with the soap, using her hooves. Nope! That was totally not a challenge at all.

She also had totally not attempted to grab it with her mouth as well. So, there was little to no chance on Equus that, Dinky would have been able to answer one of the universal questions of all time: ‘the flavour of strawberry-scented soap’.

However, she did feel quite embarrassed when her excitement overtook her reasoning. Thus, earning the little one to mindlessly jump inside the already filled bathtub. And splash the surrounding wooden floor and scrapped wall tinted with green, as well as the slightly rotten wood furniture.

Not to mention the sudden change of temperature (as small as it seemed), that her body had to adapt itself to. Thankfully, if it weren't for her mother, who had already poured the water on an acceptable level of warmth, who knows what might have happened if the foal had to add it on her own…

Now, soaked from head to hoof, and sober from the emotional joy and excitement that blinded her judgement, Dinky chose this opportunity in order to dive into her memories. It was a simple habit amongst many that she chose to partake into whenever she sees herself alone.

However, this time, the reason behind it was motivated by a cold feeling that had crept itself behind her back.

The same feeling that manifests itself whenever our subconsciousness is trying to warn us of something that has been forgotten.

...

~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~

One day, or according to Dinky’s memory, three months and fourteen days from now, she would remember that during this particular morning, she wanted to surprise her mother by making her breakfast on her own.

Usually, having a hard time waking up before ten o’clock. she was surprised that the clock in the living room indicated that she was awake, forty-two minutes earlier than expected. And knowing that it was the weekend, she also presumed that her mother would take her time to rest a little longer than the usual hard days of work. So, she decided that the least she could do would be to make her a nice morning meal as a gift.

It would also prove to her mother that, Dinky could take care of herself and the kitchen, if ever unsupervised.

Of course, being as small as she was, the little filly knew that she wouldn’t be able to prepare much of a feast. Mainly due to the fact that, she couldn’t reach for certain items in the kitchen shelves. It was during those moments that she wished she could levitate objects with her small horn.

Piling up the list of limitations presented before her, she realised that she was also forbidden to use the kitchen stove and oven, which slightly stung her motivation to proceed. However, no matter how far she searched inside her mind, never once did she encounter herself being told to not use the family toaster.

So, with a mental checklist, she formulated a healthy recipe for her sole role model.

Having access to the lower cabinets, Dinky was able to take a slightly damaged ceramic plate with her mouth, an old highball glass, and a bag of sliced bread. She also took a few leftover muffins that were kept in the oven (to be kept at bay of flying insects that would venture inside the kitchen).

She than took four slices of bread, added two inside the toaster, then made sure that her hooves were dry before plugging the device to the only magical heating generator her mother could afford.

The device was an oval shaped crystal that could roll on itself for transport by any equine race. Its size varies based on the amount of power it can sustain. Designed with simple, to complex runic symbols, in order to contain the amount of magical power needed, it can only output said magical source through a stream of low to high heat wave. And best of all, the brighter and warmer the crystal’s colouration is, the more the amount of energy contained is near it’s full capacity. So everypony would know when the device would need to be replenished, or replaced.

And so far, the filly always saw the heating crystal with a sombre colouration of blue...

After about three minutes of waiting for the bread, Dinky unplugged the device, then proceeded to fill the glass with some apple juice from a small barrel. It would not do her well to burn her lips by taking the toasted goods right away from the device. So after a few minutes of waiting, she then took the bread from the magical tech, then placed them on the plate.

And that was it ! The perfect breakfast a filly such as her could make for a mother as great as hers.

A plate of two toasted slices of bread, a leftover muffin from the previous day, and a mildly cool drink full of flavour and sweetness from the only farm around:  Sweet Apple Acres. She was also impressed that she had managed to do all that in less than fifteen minutes. As well as she hadn’t broken anything in the process. At least, she could take pride in that.

She hurried herself, by eating the two unheated slices of bread, to avoid leaving many crumbs behind, drank a few from the already filled glass of juice (that was later on refilled), then looked at the time to see how much was left before ten o’clock.

To her relief, she only took about five minutes to eat her own breakfast. She was also grateful that barrel of juice was recently filled and still fresh as well, contrary to the previous days. That made her smile at the prospect of not giving her mother a simple glass of water.

~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~

That day had been a good day for Dinky Doo. Due to the fact that it was her first time making breakfast for her mother, on her own, and without the so called ‘adult supervision’ she was always told about. And had to constantly be under watch as well.

She was able to take another step toward being a responsible grown-up. One that would one day, and hopefully, take care of the one she loves the most.

That day had been a good one for Dinky, as well as all the others that came before, and after…

And maybe, just maybe, the days to come would be filled with the same heartfelt, monotonous, and enjoyous time until they could no longer be.

From the very first memory that Dinky could vaguely recall, of herself being in an unknown and dark tunnel, until she would be blinded by the light of this world.

To a time when she had tried, and almost succeeded in counting to one hundred, in order to lift her mother’s mood. Said ‘mood’ who was previously soured by something that involved bits, the house, and a word that she hadn’t asked the definition of yet, which was : ‘seizure’.

Dinky Doo now stepped out of the bathtub. She stayed still on a towel that was already set on the floor, near the marble container. Scanning her surroundings once more, she quickly spotted another towel. This one was smaller in size, dry, and placed by someone else, just so that she could reach for it at any given time : It was hers. So her mother did come, and the filly hadn’t noticed her presence.

“Thank you Mommy”, she whispered to herself.

She truly felt at peace, and found herself in a state serenity,... near placidity.

She was about to take the towel with her hooves, until she came up with another idea…

With both of her eyes closed, she proceeded to think about her towel... She thought about its softness, and its absorbent texture, its weight, its size, and its location right in front of her.

With those information now in her mind, she tried to think about her horn… She thought about its furless and polished state, its size, and tried feeling for the nerves that was connecting it with her whole body.

She tried to think about those two objects at the same time. How the first object would have to be drawn near the second, without the latter moving at all. She wasn’t trying very hard, but instead was going by the flow of her emotions. It felt nice, she felt peacef—.

She felt something, not on her body, or anywhere else near her, but inside of her: inside her mind. Something was there, but what? She did now know.

It moved, but also kept still at the same time. It wasn’t always the same, as if it was shifting, changing to adapt to its very surrounding.

“Are you, the flow of magic?”, muttered Dinky to no one in particular.

The ‘flow of magic’ was what she overheard from a patrolling solar guard who, was conducting a search near the Everfree forest a few days ago. At the moment, she hadn’t understood what those words meant. But with her short years of unforgetting memories, she quickly came to the conclusion that, only a unicorn could be able to help her understand.

Strangely, as if to respond to her question, this ‘flow’ stopped moving, as if frozen in time for just a few seconds. It then resumed to change itself again, but unlike before, it wasn’t trying to adapt anymore or play by the limitations of its environment.

Instead, this ‘flow’ seemed to shape the settings of her mind to its will...

“G̷̵̀͘͡ò̷͝͞ ҉̶̧͢͝b̕͞à̵̧͡͡c̸͟͏ḱ͏.̸̧̛͞.̵̵̢̕.̨̢͘”, heard Dinky from somewhere.

The ‘flow’ was now taking a defined shape of something. She couldn’t see it with her own eyes, but her mind tried to visualise it as best as possible.

“Ṕ͏̶ļ̢̕͘e̵̡̢͟a͢ś͟͡e̶͜,̨́ ̛̛͞͞h̴͟ȩ̴̛͠ ́͡n̷͘e҉͏̸͢e҉̡͘͝ḑ̛͢͜ś̷͞͡ ̴͟y҉̸͜o̕̕͝͞ưr̷̢͘͢҉ ̵̧̢h̛́ȩ̵̸̡͟l̡̨͝p͝͝.̵̢̧”.

The filly felt very much confused. Is this how magic worked? Is there always a voice in the back of a unicorn’s mind speaking with strange and unsettling words?

Now, the mental image that she came up with was unlike anything she could have ever imagined. It was so strange that it frighten her from the moment she had thought about it.

It was devoid of any fur on most of the form it had taken. Its mane however, was so long that it had reached, and was now dragging in a non-existent floor. This ‘flow’ was beyond anything she knew. And to top it all off, it stood straight on its hind-legs in a way that would be painful to any equine.

Dinky was now scared. This was definitely not what she had wanted. She couldn’t even start imagining herself taking her towel with something like that! It would just be too much.

She was about to open her eyes when something caught her attention.

On the forelegs of this ‘flow’, she was able to spot five small appendages that resembled as something familiar. Something, that would ease her pain, and chase away any bad thoughts of hers.

She was on the verge of being terrified, but, that emotion immediately returned to the peaceful state of mind she had before closing her eyes.

It was strange, she didn’t know what it was, and she truly thought that she should be scarred as a flea being introduced to a magic flea repellent. But somehow, just by watching those stick-like spider hooves, those fearful emotions just, spirited away.

Now, she felt that she could stay there for hours without end, without fear, without 'hurt'...

But where was 'hurt' being involved in all of this? Surely, she wasn’t suffering from anything, was she?

But, maybe it had something to do with the tiny strand of hair between its hind-legs. Or its shivering that would make her believe that this ‘flow’ was feeling cold? Or, maybe it had something to do about those chains Dinky could now visualise on this shape : both of its hind-legs, forelegs, and what she could imagine being it’s neck. She couldn’t tell. It all felt so stran—.

*K-GRAK*

Dinky’s eyes were opened wide to the sight in front of her. Laid on the floor before her was none other than her mother. Past her, what used to be the bathroom door was now a few broken pieces of rotten wood.

Ditzy groaned a little out of her discomfort, before she immediately bolted on her four hooves in order to search for something. When both of her eyes were focused on her daughter, she flew and embraced her as best as she could.

“Oh! Dinky, is everything ok?, Did you hurt yourself, did anything bad happen to you?” she quickly demanded.

“Oh! Dear Maker! I wanted to tell you that breakfast was ready, but...” she choked out on a few words, “you just wouldn’t respond to me.” She continued, before hugging her foal once more.

“And how on Equus was the door locked in the first place?!” she finally snapped, before whispering to herself.

“I thought the monster had finally found us...”

After several seconds, and greeted with no response from her questions, the grey pegasus slowly let go of her grasp to better look at her little unicorn. And what she saw made her pause yet again before speaking once more.

“Muffin? Are you alright?” she carefully questioned.

Dinky had a smile upon her face…

A smile so calm and tranquil, that it would be criminal to say that is wasn’t harmonious.

She hadn’t felt surprised seeing her mother on the floor, after busting through the door.

She hadn’t felt panic that her mother would hurt herself if she tried to stand up from the floor.

She hadn’t felt sad to see a lone stream of blood flowing from her mother’s forehead.

She hadn’t felt concerned when she was tackled by the embrace of her mother’s concern and worries.

She just felt, at peace, with no care for whatsoever. Just, at peace.

The filly closed her eyes in order to process her newfound feelings. Or rather her lack of empathic emotions. She wanted to be scared, she wanted to ask if her mother was going to be alright, even despite being under the effect of this serene state of mind. But when she opened them, an object that was hidden inside the wall cabinet chose this right moment to fall on the floor, and roll itself right towards her. Probably due to the door being broken.

The strange item was something that resembled a rod, but shaped like something that shouldn't be alive. It was made entirely out of blue rubber and, when she looked at it for the first time, she did not know why, but the face of a colt was the first thing that came to her mind.

So when she spoke, her question for her mother’s well-being changed to that of this foreign object beside her.

“Mommy, what is this thing?”, asked Dinky to her mother.

Ditzy stared blankly at her daughter’s hoof, pointed at the alien item that was beside her. She then took a quick glance at the object, then back at her daughter's hoof, until her whole face was staring straight right at the filly’s face with a look of horror and shame.

All hair on her body straightened, letting the world view the pink red embarrassment (that was her blush) that was hidden under her light coloured fur and tuckered wings.

And, with a speed that Dinky hadn’t known existed, the strange object disappeared in a flash of yellow.

“Oh! No, no, no. Don’t worry sweetie. Just, euh, forget about it OK?”, said the pegasus who was now standing on her hind legs. And slowly backing away from the filly, using her wings to keep her balance, as if she had something hidden behind her back.

“Are you OK Mommy? You look hurt.” finally released Dinky who didn’t know if she could keep herself from being calm for so long. She had to know if her mother was still in pain. After all, she was technically bleeding from her head. And the filly felt the urge to do something, if it could ease her mother’s trouble.

On instinct, Dinky turned her head to the shelf where the unknown object had fallen from ; where the first aid kit would be located in case of an emergency.

“It’s, it’s alright Sweetie. Just…” her mother’s eyes started to drift in different directions. “Dry yourself real quick, then prepare yourself for breakfast. Haha.” She attempted, and faked a laugh to convince her little one that all was well.

“I’ll have to, euh, take care of something important”, she urged before taking one look at the broken door, and was now no longer there.

Whatever had happened to Dinky, however she felt towards her surrounding, she somehow hoped that it would be the first, and last time it would happen.

She hoped that everything would be alright, and go back to the way things were.

She didn’t hate the feeling of being at peace, but was afraid of not caring enough if something worst ever happened to her mother.

She had to do something. She didn’t know what, or how, but she had to do something.

So without thinking any further, Dinky started drying herself with a big towel that, mysteriously was already on her back, then proceeded to apply a few inodore perfumes (mainly flees and insects repellent) on her body, before going downstairs, and into the kitchen with the first aid kit in mouth.

If anything, and before going to school, she wasn't going to ignore her mother's pain. And it wasn't going to start today.

~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~

"If only you knew", murmured a mournful feminine voice located near the residence of the 'Doo' family. "If only you knew..."