Freeman's Mind: Equestrian

by Lambda01

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Alternate Universe
Length: 1333

Gordon Freeman was always called crazy. But, has he finally gone insane? FREEMANS MIND CROSSOVER

Follow the thoughts of Dr. Gordon Freeman, a 27 year old physicist and neurotic individual. In this story, Gordon is teleported to a world. Which is pretty strange.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-15 05:04:55 UTC

I NEED ONE

Freeman’s Mind: Equestria

——0——

“SUUUCCCKKKKKERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!”

I yelled out to Barney. A friend of mine who worked as a security guard at Black Mesa.

I must have not been the only one who was late, for Barney was banging on a jammed maintenance door.

I worked at Black Mesa, a science lab which was located in desert in Mexico.

I am a scientist. I work with teleportation bullshit. In sense, i show anti-matter particles who’s BOSS.

“Today is going to be BAD, I’m late, i forgot my tie, and any other day i could be late… but today was a important experiment!!!!”

i muttered under my breath. But started yelling out right after the “..forgot my tie…” part.

After what seemed to be AGES. The tram i was riding finally stopped. The annoying tram AI bullshit, i was not a AI expert so i don’t know. Most likely some pre-recorded messages.

God i hate those robotic voices. I KNOW that some day there is going to be some sort of “Robot Uprising”

A security guard walked up to the door to the tram. I waited there, tapping my foot in a pattern to ease the boredom. It was not working.

“Hello Mr. Freeman, looks like your runnin late.” The skinny security guard said.

“Yeah, you know what? I don’t even care anymore. By the time i get suited up, I’m going to be over an hour late. i Figured, i’m either fired, or I’m not.” i stated as i got off the train.

Man, today could not get ANY worse!

*Some hours or something later*

“OH GOD” i said after the machine started freaking out!!!

“WHAT DID I DO, WHAT DID I DO?” i yelled quickly

“GORDON, GET AWAY FROM THE BEAM” a scientist yelled over the intercom.

“OH NO, NO, NO! THIS IS NOT GOOD!!!”

“OPEN THE DOOR YOU BASTARDS!!!!”

“RRRGGHHH! I HATE YOU”

“THIS IS A BAD EXPERIMENT!!”

“WHY DID WE USHER FORTH THE APOCALYPSE!!!”

I blacked out or something. all i could see was black and hear my breathing

“what is this?”

*TWO DAYS LATER*

“OH MY GOD, HIS HEAD IS A PORTAL!!!”

“HE KEEPS A UNIVERSE IN HIS HEAD”

“I WANT IT”

“YES ITS BREAKING APART!!!”

“THAT MEANS I GET TO BE THE NEW GOD! THATS HOW IT WORKS, RIGHT?”

I landed on the ground. Above all the explosions. i heard one of the shock aliens charge up his black magic. or something.

“I’VE GOTTA GET UP THERE”

The black magic fucker electrocuted me, but thanks to my HEV suit, it only stun, a lot.

“AH! NOW’S NOT THE TIME , FUCKSTICK!”

“HE’S MAKING PORTALS EVERYWHERE; I’VE GOTTA GET ONE!”

“GIVE IT TO ME! I NEED A GOOD ONE”

I started falling again, but to my surprised, my hand briefly touched a portal. Sending me to another world.

“NO! IM GONNA MIS-“

New World

“-S IT!”

“GIVE ME”

My vision went dark. For what seemed to be the 4th time within the last few days.

After what felt like an hour. My vision popped up. Unused to the bright light. My eyes squinted and I yelled out,

"Too bright!"

My eyes finally adjusted to the new environment.

It felt like someone adjusted the HDR to max levels on a video game.

"Wait HDR? Or is that something different? Am I thinking of brightness? I think that just makes your computer screen brighter, not the actual texture glare or some shit."

I then realized i was speaking out loud again.

“Why do i keep doing that? Well.. it has kept me sane this whole time. Instead of shooting up all the security guards and scientists. Heck, I even spoke my thoughts out loud BEFORE the cascade.”

I then remembered the resonance cascade. How it connected Xen to our world, and unleashed weird creatures into Black Mesa.

“mmhm, i wonder where barney is now…”

I realized that I was still laying on the ground. I got up and looked around the area. I seemed to be in a house of some sorts,  laying on a table in the living room, I peeked my head under the table, seeing that my entry made some glasses of orange juice knock over.

"Damn! I could have drunk the orange juice!"

I had not had a drink in 3 days!!!!!!

I then realized that yelling out in a unfamiliar house is dangerous.

I wouldn’t want a angry dad come downstairs with a shotgun.

Not that i couldn’t take em. I looked to my sides and saw all my weapons still holstered.

But it would draw attention to me, and eventually the military would be on my ass again.

I slowly got up and banged my head against the ceiling.

“FUCK”

My helmet would have came in handy right about now!!!

Then I realized

“I wonder what world i got transported to, this place is pretty small. So I’m guessing, in this world; everything is a lot smaller. Including the people?”

“I always WANTED TO BE TALL!!”

I said after inspecting the home, to be sure no one was in the house.

I walked over to the kitchen.

It had some modern tech, such as ovens and stoves. Plus a dishwasher!

But no TVs or radios, not even a phone!

“Wait a minute!”

I whipped out my iPhone 6s that i kept in my suit pocket.

“Damn i forgot about this thing”

Then i put 2 and 2 together.

“REALLY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I COULD HAVE CALLED FOR MY FRIENDS OR BARNY OR SOMETHING THIS WHOLE TIME!”

But, I remembered that Black Mesa’s concrete structures prevented calls to, and from Black Mesa. Only “home phones” would work.

“Ok never mind, now i don’t feel like a idiot”

I turned on the phone, i had a charger case on it. I check the phone.

The battery icon showed a infinity symbol.

“What the fuck?”

The wifi symbol showed full bars.

“What the double fuck?”

I dismissed this when i heard someone unlocking the door.

“oh shit, shit, shit”

I quickly hid in a bathroom closet.

The closet had blinds on it. For some ODD reason! I could control them from the inside.

I listened.

“..BON BON, IM HOME!”

“The fuck?” i whispered under my breath

Who the hell names their kid “Bon bon”

People could make jokes out of that. Heck, if i meet this “Bon Bon” Then i can make jokes of her. Well, i hope its her. it would be BAD to be a boy and have your name as “Bon bon”

“…Guess she isn’t home”

I kept listening, i heard her pull out something from a kitchen. Then, heard her put some water into it.

The voice was young, and sounded soothing.

I hate soothing voices, I always have. I know something bad is going to happen after i hear them!

“Lyra, i’m HOME!!!!”

“GOD DAMNIT!!!” i yelled.

Oh shit.

The whole house grew quiet.

I started sweating, I could kill them. But i wouldn’t like to kill some random ass people.

“w-who's  there?”

Do i come out? I could explain it to them. But these girls would think i was stealing from there house.

wait a minute, girls?

Oh, Gordon Freeman can take advantage of this and smooth talk his way out of this!

He slowly stepped out of the closet. He walked down the narrow hallway. Before reaching the kitchen. He held his head high.

“Hello ladies, I’m just a super smart scientist and i somehow teleported into your hom-“

I had finally looked down.

To see two ponies.

One was a minty green, with a even minter ha- mane.

The other one, was a pale yellow, with blue and pink mane. Curled up at the top of her forehead.

Should i shoot them?

They aren’t like the other aliens. They attacked on sight. These ones were innocent.

“Uhhh hi?”

“OH MY, OH MY, OH MY!!!!!”, The green mint one started yelling!

“A HUMAN!!!”

"DON'T EAT ME!!" I pleaded.