My name is Ginger and I am a mare from Manehatten. My mane is a wavy chocolate brown which gives my name little sense I guess. I have a pale ivory coat almost white with deep crimson eyes. I have recently just turned of age and yet I'm still a blank flank. I hide it well though, with the most beautiful fabric crafted into a dress even royalty would gossip about. It would almost be a sin to show my cutie mark even i had one with such luxurious cloth clinging tightly to my flank. Well at least that's what my father told me anyway. let's just say he has an interesting way with words. Personally I just find it uncomfortable but if it averts any unnecessary attention to my lack of destiny then so be it.
You were probably expecting that I have some awful backstory but the fact is I don't. My parents are wealthy and they have given me everything a young mare could wish for. I have had everything handed to me on a plate. I have a good education despite being home schooled. I did try going to school and socializing with the other fillies and colts but I was so painfully shy I would just beg to go home anyway. Even when I plucked up enough courage to attend school I got bullied for the things I liked, for the way i spoke and for just being different. I would withdraw my self from the world; deeper and deeper into the cocoon i had built for myself. In the end my parents decided it would be best to home school me. It had it's ups and downs nonetheless. My parents were quick to lose faith in me if i didn't grasp a concept the first time around, they were very defeatist but I think it only helped me study harder; I wanted them to be proud of me. Once i had finished my studies for the day I could take the rest of the day off and play my gamecolt it was the best! in this virtual reality I could escape for hours on end I could imagine I was somepony else, not that there was anything wrong with being me but it was fun to think about. It wasn't uncommon for me to play until the early hours of the morning with Luna's beautiful moon raised proudly in the sky. I appreciate your beautiful night princess I muttered to myself (oh how I love to fanfilly about old folklore) I'd always sneak a few fireflies from the back garden and put them in a jar so i could play under the quilt I was sure my parents would never suspect a thing!
My family treated me a little differently like I was really special. They would buy me gifts every other day it was wonderful! but what I didn't realize at the time was that they were showering me with superficial,material things so I would not notice the love I wasn't receiving. I would always shout to my mother to tuck me in or read me a bedtime story and her reply would always be "in a minute dear" I waited so long for her to come that I had already fallen asleep. I didn't realize that she hadn't come until lunchtime the next day and by the time she had treated me to the most expensive imported oats I would have forgotten all about it and thus it evaded conversation. Mum and dad were always planning holidays and I must have traveled all across Equestria though I don't remember seeing it. They would always leave me in a hotel with the most comprehensive room service. I once saw them galloping of to the beach, their smiles getting wider the further they ran until they were just dots;tiny parasprites in the distance. Was I that much of a nuisance? I never asked to be born after all.
I'll never forget the day they left me behind.
"Ahh" I yawned and stretched out my legs "whoa 10am why didn't mum and dad wake me up?" startled and a little confused I trotted down the stairs "mum? dad?" I searched every room,scaled up and down the house with no avail then a piece of parchment atop of the fireplace caught my eye it read:
Our dearest Ginger,
We hope we have taught you enough to be able to take care of yourself. The house is yours, do with it as you so wish. We have left you an allowance in your peggy bank to last you through this next month. You have an interview with Mr. Stitch at midday but be mindful that this is merely a formality since he has already insured us that you will get the job. Live your life however you choose we know that you will go with your heart and make the right decisions. We'll keep in touch expect a postcard in a couple of days. Viva Las Pegasus here we come!
Yours,
Mum and Dad
Dear diary,
It's been awhile since I've wrote to you sorry about that. In my spare time I find myself lost in my thoughts. I know this isn't healthy for a young mare like me so I often head out to the crowded streets of Manehatten just to get away from those four walls. The bustling town and all it's lights make me cower. Everypony is in such a rush to get from A to B that they pay no mind to anypony around them it's almost as if everypony is in their own little bubble. Nopony cares how much they push and shove as long as they reach their destination on time. It is not an uncommon sight in the hustle and bustle of the city for ponies to collapse dead on their hooves. I don't know whether it's due to exhaustion of a busy schedule or the suffocating claustrophobia of city life, either way nopony stops to help. They all have their own worries to be dealing with it's a very selfish city. Just the other day an elderly mare fell over and dropped all her groceries she had collected from the market. Pony after pony passed her by, some avoiding eye contact completely, some even looked directly at her and raised their heads up high like she was a bid of soiled fodder on their hooves. I stopped and gritted my teeth I gazed at her for a second her eyes caught mine there was a look of pleading desperation in her eyes as if by just one look she was calling out for me to help her. Conflicted i forced my head down to the floor and galloped away I felt the tears filling my eyes. What could I do to help after all? I just don't have the guts to speak to a complete stranger even in their moment of need! what does that make me? I'm no better than anypony else in this town maybe ponies have their reasons for being so cold. I need to escape but I don't know how.
*CRASH*
I must have jumped three foot in the air and got abruptly yanked from my daydream. I bolted expecting the worst bearing in mind what I had just been thinking about I am a pessimist at heart. If you think of the worst case scenario what could go wrong after all?
I bolted out the door only to see a familiar face. "Not again Derpy" I sighed. My fears subsided. This grey mare with the cross eyed stare would be the death of me. She is the city's mailmare even a timid soul like myself feels at ease when she's around even if she is tail first through my mailbox. I'd like to say that this isn't a regular occurrence but I am no liar. The only variable is the position she is in when she destroys my property. "I am going to have to start charging you for this you know you've gotten off lightly for too long" I said tearing her free rump first. "Sorry Ginger" she blushed brushing herself down her cheeks were as pink as i'd ever seen them. I caved and my stern tone broke before it had even developed. "It's okay. What ever was this important to have you crashland today?" I shrugged. She takes delivering mail so seriously even if it is the new hayburger panflet. Derpy smiled from ear to ear "It isn't junk mail this time ginger your mailbox did not fall in vain today!" she look an envelope out of her satule bag and gave it to me. Skeptical as ever with Derpy's deliveries I raised my eyebrow and reluctantly opened it. It read:
NEW FARMERS WANTED!
Join us and help us love and nurture the land! grow crops, raise animals and live the life of your dreams in Oak tree town!
Send in the application to the address below with our freepost envelope and tell us why you would be the perfect candidate for the job!
We hope to hear from you soon.
"And why exactly why I would be interested in this?" I grimaced I looked up from the letter and Derpy had disappeared. "Pah typical!" I snorted and went back inside my house.
I sprawled onto my bed after I finished work my job isn't physically tiring but I end up in autopilot quite a bit which can be mentally crushing. I craft jewelry under the watchful eye of Mr stitch. It pays a half decent salary so I can't complain but somehow I know it isn't my calling in life; my empty flank is just one of the many subtle hints pointing to that... but a job is a job after all and I never like to feel ungrateful for the hoof I have been dealt in life. I sipped my carrot juice noisily and glanced over the the letter that had been delivered this morning. "Farmers wanted" I muttered wouldn't it be good just to leave everything behind. To start a fresh. Who was I kidding! I haven't done a days manual labor in my life I wouldn't survive one moon! between yawning and smirking to myself I drifted off.
I had a really bad day today and maybe I have been overthinking a little but it seems everything I have a smidge of confidence in somepony can do it better. I genuinely give everything my all but somepony always surpasses me. I made something at work today In my opinion it was the best thing I have ever produced and I am not exactly the first to admit that I am happy with something I have created. It was an emerald bracelet designed to give to only somepony you truly love and want to spend the rest of your life with I don't really see the appeal in it but I know any mare would be honoured to wear it. I could hardly contain my excitement as I presented it to my boss. Physically sharking with anticipation I was sure I was going to get my cutie mark there and then but he just looked right through me. It pierced me harder than anything I have ever felt before. His eyes transfixed on the mare behind me; my work colleague. What she had produced was so intricate that Mr Stitch's jaw dropped so low that it looked like it would unhinge and fall to the floor and I could see why. The diamonds were laced so beautifully into the necklace it was if it had dropped straight from heaven into the mare's hooves. Her head held high, she swung her mane from one side to the other. She smugly looked at me and she already knew the significance of the object she had just brought into being. My eyes watered and I ran out of the room not looking back. I got home and slammed the door. I spent the rest of the day sobbing uncontrollably. Was I jealous that somepony was better than me? ashamed that I hadn't tried harder? I don't know I couldn't put this feeling into words no matter how fluent they were. Hysterical, I scrawled onto the application Derpy had given me. The paper became waterlogged with my tears and my hoofwriting was barely distinguishable I scrunched it into the envelope threw it into the mailbox and waited. There was no way I was going back there. Anything would be better than this after all I had nothing to lose.
