With a hard push of her magic, Twilight Sparkle opened the doors to the library of her castle. The room was dimly lit by magical crystal torches on the walls. It was deathly quiet in the large crystalline room with the only sounds being the pitter patter of raindrops on the windows from the storm outside and the occasional clap of thunder. Twilight walked into the room, carrying a bundle of cloth on her back as she made her way to the center of her personal book depository.
Where the floor normally would’ve been featureless, cold stone was now an intricately designed chalk drawing with candles placed at certain points around the circle. It was something few ponies apart from scholars had ever seen; a spell circle. A form of spell crafting which was only used for more intricate and complicated spells and for the most part had been phased out of most magic schools. It was an archaic, ritualistic form of casting spells which required several unicorns to perform but for an alicorn like Twilight, she could easily supplement the missing mages. To be perfectly honest, this was something she had to do alone.
When her purple hooves met the chalk circle, Twilight knelt down and carefully levitated the cloth bundle to the ground beside her. She put a hoof on the sack and looked at it for a long moment before letting out a sigh. Her tired eyes narrowed and her face hardened. She had spent the last several days to research the spell and make sure she had the exact specifications for this. She had worked too long and hard for this.
“No turning back,” She affirmed in the large empty library.
The purple alicorn gestured her head towards the doors, her horn glowed, and her magic closed them. Following that, she extinguished each of the crystal torches, causing the room to continue to grow darker and darker until it was pitch black. After few moments the candles surrounding the circle sparked a-light, casting shadows on Twilight’s stern and resolute face. The young princess began the ritual by getting to her hooves, lowering her head, summoning up her magic and chanting to herself.
The words were of an almost unrecognizable tongue which had been all but forgotten by most ponies. She’d have to thank Prof. Tome for the seminar on Ancient Languages and Dialects she attended last month and Moondancer for the invitation if this worked. She briefly paused in her chanting at the musing. If..., she thought as her eyes started to water but she shook her head. NO! she thought to herself, not if! It will work! It has to!
She began to chant again, slowly raising her voice as she continued. The chalk circle began to glow, at first being a white before transitioning into a pale blue. Musty, stagnant air in the library started to move and kick up like a window had been left open. Pages from books on stands flicked open and fluttered as the wind passed them. It swirled above and around Twilight and the spell circle, threatening to blow the candles out with its force. The candles however remained lit and soon the candle flames changed from a warm orange yellow to a pale blue matching the glowing circle of chalk.
The strange gusts of wind started to visibly spiral inside the chalk circle like a dust devil starting to form. A small sphere of blue light appeared at the center of the churning winds, its glow causing Twilight to briefly raise her gaze. It’s working! She thought to herself without missing a beat in her chanting. As her chanting grew louder, the sphere grew larger and flattened to the circle to form a glowing portal. The wind roared angrily in the confined room as they circled it and a form rose from the portal. The form continued to grow and grow with Twilight’s chant becoming louder and louder until she spoke the final part of the chant so loud it echoed in the room. With that final word, everything abruptly stopped.
Silence fell on the room for a long moment like the room had been frozen in time. The silence was gradually broken by the raindrops beating against the windows and Twilight’s labored pants from performing the spell. She lifted her head to gaze upon her handiwork, seeing something that ponies might have only seen once in their life time...or rather at the end of it.
Standing in the circle was a tall quadrupedal figure, so tall in fact that the being might have dwarfed Celestia. Its body was mostly obscured by a long, hooded, black cloak that even came with sleeves for the front legs. The only parts not covered were a pair of ivory white hooves in the front and a long white muzzle poking out of the hood. Its head lowered to ‘look’ at her with...she wanted to say eyes but that didn’t seem completely correct. Where eyes might have been on a pony or other ungulates were a pair of glowing blue orbs piercing through the hood’s shadow obscuring the rest of its face.
Twilight knew exactly who or what she was looking at. There had been numerous names or titles for the being standing before her. Some ancient religious described it as the eternal night bringer or given it names like Azrael or Samael. More commonly known in modern Equestria, it was called the Grim Reaper. Yet there was one thing to call it, one word, one name that was all encompassing to call it; Death.
She had summoned death. This was a phenomenal feat which hadn’t been achieved since maybe before Equestria was even founded and colonized. Had she been in her regular state of mind, Twilight might have launched into a lengthy list of questions for the being about the afterlife, the universe, and maybe everything. However, her grievous emotional state overrode her normal academic zeal. She had something else to ask of the entity.
“Death,” she referred to it, making sure it could hear her.
A moment of silence passed before it responded in a low, haunting baritone voice that was like the rumble of an earthquake.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, “You...you know who I am?”
“I know all creatures on this plane. For it is my duty to come for them,” it responded.
Twilight’s eyebrows furrowed at the mention of its duty.
“Death, I have summoned you with a purpose,” She declared, “A request.”
“I grant but one boone, Princess and it will be given to you as it will be given to all on this world; When your time comes.”
“Not if this spell has anything to say about,” The purple princess clarified pointing to the circle, “The Rite of Mortis keeps you bound to this spot until I break it and it will not break it until you fulfill my request.”
Twilight’s horn glowed with its magical aura again as she telekinetically undid the bundle of cloth. Inside the bundle was a small, cold reptilian body with purple and green scales. She briefly looked down at the little child-like body and gained a mournful expression before raising her head to stare at Death with a glare.
“Give me back Spike!” She demanded.
“Your dragon?” The cloaked figured questioned.
“Of course! Give him back his life!” Twilight commanded.
The figure remained unmoved. Twilight glared at the figure with more intent.
“I demand you give him back! He was...,” Twilight clenched her eyes shut as she began to tear up, “He was taken too soon.”
The memories came back to her, even though she wished they wouldn’t. They were on their way back home from a visit to the Crystal Empire, taking a dirigible as the train tracks were undergoing construction. Air travel was the best way home in that situation but during the trip, an unexpected storm kicked up. While near a ledge, Spike had fallen off the air ship. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy acted quickly attempting to rescue him but they were too late. His little body met the ground. Trickles of tears poured from her eyes as she furiously glared at Death.
“You took him from me,” Twilight said.
“Technically, Gravity took him from you,” the entity pointed out with a subtle hint of sarcasm.
Twilight shot a beam of magical energy towards the pale horse but it simply passed through it and exploded a higher shelf of books. She knew she couldn’t hurt it. You couldn’t. Trying to harm or even kill such an entity was like trying to stop Pinkie Pie from throwing parties; a fruitless, pointless endeavor.
“It wasn’t fair! He was just a child, a baby! IT WASN’T FAIR!” She yelled.
“Death is the truest fairness. It matters not one’s age, gender, social standing, or race, all are equal in death,” Death explained, “All things end; your kind, your society, your land, and this world. Even your precious celestial royal sisters will come to an end.”
What it said made sense to Twilight but she stood resolute in her decision and made her demand again.
“Bring him back!”
“What you ask I cannot give. I cannot restore life,” Death explained, “My duty, my purpose, my ‘special talent’ as it were is to bring death to those when their time comes and guide them to their place in the afterlife.”
“Well what about ghosts or evil spirits?! They seem to still be on this plane,” Twilight asked accusingly as if the grim reaper were a dog catcher neglecting it’s job.
“There are such instances where a soul manages to linger or escape from me or the afterlife but even in those cases, I eventually hunt them down and bring them back to the afterlife,” it clairified.
“What about ponies who have almost died but come back?” Twilight questioned a small amount of her scholarly curiosity coming back.
“It was not their time. They came close and in that state, managed to peer through the veil to the other side,” Death explained, “It was still not their time. I cannot restore your dragon.”
That explained a lot of reports of ghosts and testimonies of some ponies’s near death experiences but it still didn’t aid Twilight in what she truly wanted. She looked down at Spike’s lifeless body and her glare became more sorrowful as she pondered things.
“There has to be a way,” She said when a thought came to her, “What about if I found a pony whose soul you could take in exchange for returning Spike? Maybe a bad pony-“
Death cut off her plea, “No one single soul is worth the same as another. For one who embodies the traits of a diverse race, I’m surprised that you don’t realize that.”
“Huh?”
“You even bare a mark symbolizing such individuality,” the tall horse claimed, pointing with it’s albino hoof at her cutie mark.
“Though some cutie marks and the talents tied to them are similar to others, they are not the exact same. They are affected by different experiences, relationships, actions, emotions, and thoughts. Even if similar paths are taken and experiences are shared, each pony is effected by them differently,” the Grim Horse elaborated, “To have a soul equivalent to your dragon, you would have to find a near perfect duplicate of his soul. Such a thing is not possible and even if it were, even I could take that soul in place of your dragon's, would you be willing to give that pony death? Would you be willing to sacrifice another to reclaim his soul?”
Twilight blinked and thought about what Death had said. All of it was true, there was no way that she could possibly find a soul identical to Spike’s and even if such a pony did exist, could she really take a life? She even wondered such moral dilemmas with some of her enemies. She was never truly willing to kill a pony, let alone another being. There was no pony she could sacrifice to bring back Spike...except...
“I will take his place in the afterlife.”
Death groaned in frustration.
“I cannot simply have you two switch places. As I said, one soul is not equal to another and if I were to do so, you would only trade places in grief,” Death elaborated, “You would not end the grief but only cause more as he would return and be alone without you. He would be grieving for you instead of the other way around. Once again, such a thing is not within my power.”
The repeating of the hopelessness of the situation caused Twilight to sob with thicker heavier tears.
“There is nothing that can be done. Your dragon has passed. Let him rest,” Death said.
“Stop saying that!” Twilight said, “He was more than a dragon, more than just an assistant!”
The purple alicorn looked upon the dragon cadaver and wept even more. She lay down beside the body almost cradling it as if Spike were simply in a deep slumber.
“He was my friend! My family!...my brother...my son.”
That last part she quietly admitted. It was something that was almost always unspoken about their relationship. She had cared for him since birth, raised him, watched him grow and learn, lived with him and loved him. While such aspects could be found in sibling relationships as well like with Applejack and Apple Bloom, there was a bond deeper and stronger than that. She would do anything for him and summoning Death like this certainly fell under anything.
“There was so much left unsaid, so much we still hadn’t done or seen. He was my child and I want him back. I just want him back!”
A few long moments passed with Twilight’s sobs being the only sound in the room before Death spoke again.
“A strong and charming gesture...but foalish and selfish.”
Twilight’s sorrowful expression rapidly changed to one of rage as she stood up and snapped at the entity.
“WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW?! HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING?! WHAT’S SO SELFISH ABOUT TRYING TO SAVE THE LIFE OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE?!”
Death stood unfazed by Twilight’s outburst and gave a simple but enlightening retort.
“Do you think your grief is exclusive or more important than others?”
Twilight was surprised by this response.
“Wh-what?”
“Do you think you are the only one affected by his loss? What of your friends or his friends who share in your loss? Even your fellow princess and mentor mourns him yet you think your's is more important simply because he was your adoptive child?”
Twilight’s expression remained somewhat infuriated but it was almost mixed with confusion at the realization. She felt a twinge of anger, not at the entity denying her request but herself.
“And what of others who have suffered similar loss? Parents who lost their children ‘too soon’ not just from accidents but disease, birth defects, and even war. Is their grief less important than your own?” Death’s already deep voice started to boom and grow with an edge of anger and frustration as it continued, “ What of those who lost loved ones on the same day as your dragon son? Is their sadness and suffering less than your’s? Grief is inevitable in the existence of you mortals. It is a trait shared by anypony, anything that has lived, loved, and lost. Yet you, a princess of Equestria with the greatest amount of raw magical talent, claim your pain and guilt is so much more important than anyone else’s that you would nearly break the laws of nature and threaten the fragile balance of life and death simply to bargain for the impossible!”
Death’s ivory hoof pointed accusingly at Twilight. The lavender alicorn could only sit and stare while everything the pale horse had said sunk in. What had she done? She had ignored the suffering of others, those closest to her who were equally affected by Spike’s death and believed herself alone in her sorrow. She hadn’t even considered their feelings or how others in similar situations had suffered. Now she had summoned Death to try and radically change the nature of the world. She knew better. Why had she...she did it for Spike.
With the compound weight of her guilt and grief, Twilight collapsed on the floor in a pile of self-loathing and sorrow. How could she have been so stupid, so selfish? It was all for Spike but could she really call herself a mother after such a selfish act that could’ve doomed the world? Could she stand his gaze if he did just come back to life? She wept for a few long moments as Death continued to stand there watching. After a few more moments, Twilight wiped away her tears and sat up with her face looking downwards.
“You are not alone in your grief, Princess Twilight. Break this spell, go to bed, and be with your friends in the morning,” Death advised.
Twilight knew that was what she had to do. It would set the world right again. However, before she did that she brought a hoof over to Spike’s little body. She looked again mournfully at the draconic corpse.
“I..I just wanted to see him one more time. I never got a chance to say goodbye.”
Death’s hooded head moved as if a small epiphany came to it. The cloaked horse raised it’s hoof.
“There is...one minor boon I can grant,” Death admitted before bringing its hoof down and stomping on the floor three times.
The castle almost seemed to shake from the stomping. After it however, a small cyclone of green smoke shot up to the left side of Death and when it subsided Spike was beside it. Twilight was stunned as she saw the purple dragon. Spike seemed disoriented and rubbed his eyes as if he had been roused from a deep sleep.
“Twilight?” he said surprised.
“SPIKE!” Twilight exclaimed with overwhelming joy and a massive grin that Pinkie Pie would have a tough time matching.
She leapt the short distance between herself and him and held the little dragon tightly. She couldn’t believe it. It was him. She knew it was him by the feeling of his body, the texture of his scales, the warmth emanating from his little dragon heart. He hugged her back calming her concerns. Spike was with her. However she looked up at Death confused.
“But I thought you said you couldn’t give somepony back their life.”
“I can’t. I have simply summoned his soul and made it so he could interact with you,” Death explained before adding, “So you may give your final goodbyes.”
Twilight looked at the tall pony with an expression of shock and surprise. Before she could protest, she felt Spike grip her tighter. She responded by holding him tighter as well and nuzzled her head against him. She wanted to hold him and never let go but she knew she couldn’t.
“Spike, I’m so sorry,” Twilight apologized, “If I had flown just a little faster or cast a spell, I could’ve...you wouldn’t...”
“It’s alright, Twilight,” Spike tearfully reassured her, “You did your best and...and it’s not so bad. I mean I don’t feel any pain anymore so that’s not bad.”
His attempt to comfort her got a small chuckle but it quickly subsided.
“Twilight, I don’t want to go.”
“I know,” She replied, “I would do almost anything to have you back and see you grow, to see you become something great...but...”
“But you can’t. I can’t. I have to leave and you have to let me go,” The dragon said crying against her chest and dampening her violet coat.
“I know. I know,” Twilight regretfully said.
They loosened their embrace to look at one another.
“Know that I’m so proud of you and was glad to have you in my life. I would never, ever take back any moment we spent together as friends and as family,” Twilight said, “Know that I love you, Spike.”
“I love you too, Twilight,” Spike replied.
They embraced once more, an embrace that they wished would last forever but they knew couldn’t. They broke, looked at each other and tried to give a smile to the other.
“Goodbye, Spike.”
“Goodbye...Mom.”
Twilight began to tear up once more as Spike walked back to the circle to stand beside Death. He waved a little dragon hand at Twilight and she waved back in response. She then turned to face the towering equine figure.
“Thank you,” She said.
Death nodded to her. Twilight closed her eyes and with a glow of her horn, the candles flickered out along with Death and Spike. When they vanished, Twilight sat quietly in the dark for a few long moments before turning back to Spike’s body. She lay down beside it for one last time.
Author's Note
This story was something that I thought of and was considering coming back to the idea later after I’d finished some other stories but I felt like putting it together now rather than later. This story was kind of done in response to a couple things. One was that there are so many stories out there of different members of the mane 6 or other ponies dealing with death of loved ones like stories of Twilight as an alicorn outliving her friends. However, so few seem to be about the idea of Spike passing on and how the others deal with it. Alot of stories involving Spike and death focus more on him dealing with death of the mane 6 since Dragons live far longer than ponies or other creatures. Yet death isn’t just growing old and dying. Death can be sudden and unexpected. So I wanted to tackle this aspect in the story. Another part to this story comes from the idea of believing that we are alone in grief and that we can remember that others have felt just like us as to not disregard anyone else’s pain. If you've finished this, know this the epilogue doesn't have to be read if you'd just like to end on this dark tone but if you are interested, please continue to the epilogue. Thank you.
-TMNTBrony
As the sun rose on Ponyville, light streamed through the windows of the library on Twilight as she slept. She scrunched her nose at the light disturbing her slumber. She almost got up when it dimmed over her. The neurons in her brain slowly started to fire wondering for a second why it suddenly seemed darker despite that the fact that it was probably early morning. The navy maned mare slowly opened her eyes to see Princess Celestia standing in front of her, slightly silhouetted by the light pouring through the window. The white coated alicorn had a look of anger and disapproval on her face. Twilight quickly sat up by the surprise appearance of her fellow princess.
“P-princess Celestia!” She yelped out and looked at her rather compromising surroundings, “I...I can, um...”
“Stop,” The rainbow maned princess said firmly, raising her left front hoof in gesture, “Before you start, I already know you performed the spell.”
“You...you do?”
“Yes. Naturally born alicorns like myself and Luna are somewhat in tune with the flow of magic in this world and a powerful enough spell, like the one you performed, raises alarm bells as it were.”
Twilight looked at her with interest to learn something new but with a glare Celestia shot her, the look changed back to regret and guilt.
“When you performed it last night, Luna was half tempted to neglect her duties and stop the ritual altogether. I however, stopped her, suggested we wait, and only step in if the ritual lasted too long. I’m proud that you stopped the spell before it lasted too long,” Princess Celestia paused for a moment before continuing in a firmer and sterner tone, “I am however, severely disappointed that you would even consider performing this spell.”
“I...I was..” Twilight stammered before she was cut off by Celestia once again.
“Twilight, I-I mean, I just...What were you thinking?!” She said losing her calm, “Do you realize what you could’ve done? What could’ve happened to you or Equestria or even the world?! This isn’t something like using a spell to change a creature’s diet or transforming something into something else! This is playing with the balance of life and death! If you performed this spell when you were still a unicorn and my student, I...I would’ve had to imprison you for such a thing and that’s even considering that the spell was even successful!”
The celestial alicorn got to her hooves and began to pace as she vented her frustrations over the young alicorn’s choice.
“These ancient spells are extremely particular; every symbol, syllable, and shape has to be perfect! If you got even the tiniest detail wrong, you could’ve summoned some arch-demon from the underworld that could’ve plunged Equestria into a hellish dimension! The fact that you managed to perform it properly has equally horrible possibilities! If you didn’t end the summoning spell and kept Death contained, ponies couldn’t die and those that should be dying would continue to suffer in pain or worse! WHY?! Why did you do this, Twilight?!”
Celestia stopped her pacing and stared at her former student with furious eyes. Twilight’s ears flattened and she lowered her head from the princess’s gaze. She was right. Her spell could’ve just as easily backfired, not just on her but the entire world but...she couldn’t entirely say she regretted it. She placed a hoof on Spike’s body and finally admitted.
“I just wanted to see Spike again.”
Celestia’s expression softened from the response and looked mournfully at her former protégé, as she continued to speak.
“I know what I did was wrong. I realize that now but...to know I could do something to change what happened...to see him at least once more, I...I just couldn’t...”
“Twilight,” Celestia softly said drawing the lavender alicorn’s tearful gaze.
She slowly approached Twilight and wrapped her hooves and wings around her. Twilight reciprocated the embrace and rubbed her head against her mentor’s chest, softly sobbing into it. Celestia couldn’t help but get a bit tearful herself.
“I’m sorry,” Celestia said, “What you did isn’t easily forgotten...but I can understand why you did it.”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“You’ve existed for centuries. You’ve known several different ponies and seen them grow old and die,” Twilight sobbed, “How do you get over grief?”
“Oh, my dear Twilight,” Celestia started, “I don’t.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide by this comment. She looked up at the flowing maned pony.
“I know that many believe that with how long I’ve lived that I have simply become numb to grief and that I’m completely unflappable but I’m not. Though I may not always show it in public, I do cry. I weep and mourn everypony I have ever held dear when they pass on into the next world. I have wished many times that I could grant them more life or give them the immortality I possess but I can’t,” Celestia explained, “Death of someone close isn’t something you just get over like losing a favorite book. It’s something that we carry with us. It’s like a wound that seems to heal but can be reopened when you least expect it...yet it does get better.”
Twilight nodded sadly.
“We who live on after those who have left must do our best to carry on and keep them in our thoughts, even when it’s hard. There is also something that I have found great solace in my immortality.”
“What’s that?” Twilight asked.
Celestia smiled, “I can show you but first, why don’t we put ‘Spike’ back in the hall where you had him.”
Twilight looked at the cadaver sadly and magically bundled the corpse back up. After returning Spike to a coffin in an area set up for the dragon’s wake, the young princess followed her elder through the crystal halls before arriving at the front doors of her castle.
“This is what I continue to live for Twilight,” She gestured with a flicker of magic opening the doors to reveal Ponyville.
The pair looked at the sight of the sun shining over the little village and ponies going about their normal day. Twilight looked perplexed, not quite grasping what Celestia meant.
“Ponyville is what you live for?”
“No, Twilight. It’s what Ponyville represents,” Celestia began to elaborate, “Hundreds of years ago, Ponyville was a struggling settlement that tried its best to stay alive but with some time, effort, and love, it is now a thriving community where ponies can come to build friendships, loves, and lives no matter where they came from. Do you understand now, Twilight?”
Twilight tapped her hoof to her forehead, still trying to grasp Princess Celestia’s meaning. After a long moment, it dawned on her.
“Progress.”
“Exactly. Change is difficult and can bring pain with it but it can also bring wonderful things as well. I have seen times of hardship and famine change into ages of wonder and prosperity,” Celestia enlightened, “I also live to see the effect those of ponies who pass leave on the future. Great heroes inspiring descendants to honor their memory and follow in their hoofsteps. The work of artists and scholars effecting or influencing future minds in their works. I will always miss my friends and I grieve for those who I’ve lost but I will remember them fondly and look forward to the impact they leave behind with those that I still have. It is something that I hope you can take to heart, Twilight.”
She looked over to her to see the lavender alicorn crying but for the first time in the last few hours or last few days, they were tears of joy, understanding, and acceptance. Twilight turned to her with a smile and tried to wipe some tears away.
“That does help,” Twilight said, “Thank you, Princess.”
Celestia smiled and held her once more.
Author's Note
Ok to begin, this epilogue was written for a few reasons. One was to show a different side to Celestia than just fun loving or wise monarch. I did enjoy writing Celestia as being more frustrated, especially with Twilight. Another part of this story was in response to tales or tropes in fiction regarding how so many writers hammer out the negative trait of immortals living on past their loved ones, yet because of this they forget that often we live on after people die in mortal lives as well and a positive of being immortal is to see how the world changes and progresses. It’s something sorely forgotten by so many writers. Anyways, those are my notes. Keep an eye out for my next fics, I should have something new soon.
-TMNTBrony
