Lyra's Conversion (with no Rednecks)

I got the idea for this story by reading a Lyra fic while watching Robot Chicken, and saw this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-g4FWpxjYI I started writing it after I found the title image. My original version featured a redneck, but I got so many negative comments when I posted it. I'm sorry, I never meant to offend anyone.
Harry Johnson is not based on a real person. I named him "Harry" as a pun, and I chose Johnson because it sounds so common. I hope no one is offended by his mental state, but the story doesn't work as well if he's sane.