King Shining Armor shifted in his throne. Only an hour into the meeting with the Equestrian ambassador, and his ass was already getting numb. Economics was always Cadence's job, but she had gone into labor a few hours ago, leaving him as sole sovereign until further notice. Shining rubbed his belly, trying to scratch an itch through his chainmail shirt. The links jingled in the quiet throne room, but if anypony heard it, they didn't acknowledge it, and the ambassador just droned on, and on, and on.

Shining rested his head in his hand, studying him up and down. The stallion standing before him was by no means fat, but his black suit jacket bulged noticeably around the midsection. The blue mane was like a heavily styled version of his own, he noted, and his bushy mustache put most Equestrian stallions to shame. Still, Shining knew who had the better facial hair.

"Furthermore," Ambassador Fancy Pants said, "The current captain of the Canterlot Guard sends his concerns over the fitness regimen you've instated for his transfers. He reminds you that the maximum weight for an Equestrian guard is precisely fifteen stone, and requests that every guard be, quote, 'returned how you got them', end quote."

Shining smiled. More than a few of his guards, both natives and transfers from Canterlot, were having their armor refitting to contain swelling muscles and bulging guts. Nopony was entirely sure why they were growing, but judging from the noises in the barracks each night, none of them were complaining. Maybe someday he'd invite that old stick-in-the-mud up north, and see how he got along in the new Crystal Guard.

Fancy Pants coughed, getting Shining's attention as he continued, "And finally, Princess Celestia has some concerns about your actions during the recent diplomatic visit from Yakyakistan."

Shining groaned. He knew this would come up. As if he hadn't heard enough about it from reporters, and advisers, and his wife...

"According to reports, your welcome banquet was poorly received."

"They started throwing dishes and gave two of my guards concussions. A glass bottle narrowly missed hitting my wife, who is pregnant."

"And then you beat Prince Rutherford unconscious."

Shining grunted, Rutherford's fist barely missing him. The momentum sent him reeling against the nearby feast table, and Shining took the opportunity to grab the yak's long mane and yank it back. "I'll crack your fucking skull!" He roared, before smashing his face against the crystal surface.

"And then you... 'Took him' in the cell, in front of the other delegates?"

Rutherford groaned, slowly regaining conscious. As feeling returned to him, he couldn't help but notice how stiff his limbs were. His arms were locked in iron shackles on the ceiling, and legs attached to the floor. His nose was pressed against a wall of solid black crystal.

"Finally awake, huh?"

Rutherford thrashed his legs, trying to escape, but the shackles kept him restrained. The guards had removed his robes after the incident, giving Shining a perfect view of the prince's ass. It was easily as wide as Shining's, but whereas Shining's jiggled with a layer of fat, Rutherford was all muscle. Shining slid a hand along one cheek, admiring the rippling contours beneath his soft fur. A tent was already forming in his pants.

"I hope you're a squealer," Shining smirked, reaching for his zipper.

"Which brings us to this note," Fancy said, pulling a scroll from his pocket, "This was sent to you, care of our embassy."

"Lemme guess, they've declared war?" Shining said, slumping back in his seat. Normally, he'd be giddy for any chance at battle, but he didn't relish the thought of killing poor Rutherford. He always had a soft spot for squealers.

"Actually, his father, the king, wishes to thank you for punishing his son. He promises to keep Rutherford under supervision, and hopes that this won't come between the two of you in creating a lasting friendship between your nations. He also hopes you'll allow his son to visit again someday."

Shining smiled. Someday couldn't come too soon.

Author's Note

Sorry for this. I don't know what I was thinking.