M4NK D£M£5

by Sed Fikz

mank demes

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One day, XxXR41NB0W_D45HXxX and xXx91NK13_913xXx where smoken the W33D, talking about Tesco, d4nk m3m35 and bl4k 5h4r9135. Until SW3GM4$T3RFLUTT£R5HI420XxxX came up to them.

"Sup m8, R4R1TYM91337 just coled mii a happy faggaggle"

"That fekin sgrub m10. Il 361 noscwp that betch" said XxXR41NB0W_D45HXxX.

"Weit XxXR41NB0W_D45HXxX, wii ned a pwrti. That wel stwp that meny" said xXx91NK13_913xXx.

Butt a secnd letr, R4R1TYM91337 jwmpd awt wf Tom (Get it? You know! When Rarity was on crack she thought a rock was a diamond. Geez, and I thought Larson's writing was bad).

"SAI HWLO TW MAI LETLE FREND, m69!"

"O SHAITE M420!" said XxXR41NB0W_D45HXxX

BUTTER LUV STWRI THAN TWILIT...AND FLAS

So FIM wanted me to make a thousand word story but know I'm just gonna copy and paste David Bowie songs.Ground Control to Major Tom

Ground Control to Major Tom

Take your protein pills

and put your helmet on

Ground Control to Major Tom

Commencing countdown,

engines on

Check ignition

and may God's love be with you

[spoken]

Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Liftoff

This is Ground Control

to Major Tom

You've really made the grade

And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear

Now it's time to leave the capsule

if you dare

This is Major Tom to Ground Control

I'm stepping through the door

And I'm floating

in a most peculiar way

And the stars look very different today

For here

Am I sitting in a tin can

Far above the world

Planet Earth is blue

And there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past

one hundred thousand miles

I'm feeling very still

And I think my spaceship knows which way to go

Tell my wife I love her very much

she knows

Ground Control to Major Tom

Your circuit's dead,

there's something wrong

Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Can you....

Here am I floating

round my tin can

Far above the Moon

Planet Earth is blue

And there's nothing I can do.

Didn't know what time it was and the lights were low

I leaned back on my radio

Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll 'lotta soul,

he said

Then the loud sound did seem to fade

Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase

That weren't no D.J. that was hazy cosmic jive

[CHORUS]

There's a starman waiting in the sky

He'd like to come and meet us

But he thinks he'd blow our minds

There's a starman waiting in the sky

He's told us not to blow it

Cause he knows it's all worthwhile

He told me:

Let the children lose it

Let the children use it

Let all the children boogie

I had to phone someone so I picked on you

Hey, that's far out so you heard him too!

Switch on the TV

we may pick him up on channel two

Look out your window I can see his light

If we can sparkle he may land tonight

Don't tell your poppa or he'll get us locked up in fright

[CHORUS (x2)]

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

I, I will be king

And you, you will be queen

Though nothing will drive them away

We can beat them, just for one day

We can be Heroes, just for one day

And you, you can be mean

And I, I'll drink all the time

'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact

Yes we're lovers, and that is that

Though nothing, will keep us together

We could steal time,

just for one day

We can be Heroes, for ever and ever

What d'you say?

I, I wish you could swim

Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim

Though nothing,

nothing will keep us together

We can beat them, for ever and ever

Oh we can be Heroes,

just for one day

I, I will be king

And you, you will be queen

Though nothing will drive them away

We can be Heroes, just for one day

We can be us, just for one day

I, I can remember (I remember)

Standing, by the wall (by the wall)

And the guns shot above our heads

(over our heads)

And we kissed,

as though nothing could fall

(nothing could fall)

And the shame was on the other side

Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes,

just for one day

We can be Heroes

We can be Heroes

We can be Heroes

Just for one day

We can be Heroes

We're nothing, and nothing will help us

Maybe we're lying,

then you better not stay

But we could be safer,

just for one day

Oh-oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-oh-ohh,

just for one day

t's a god-awful small affair

To the girl with the mousy hair

But her mummy is yelling "No"

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks

through her sunken dream

To the seat with the clearest view

And she's hooked to the silver screen

But the film is a saddening bore

For she's lived it

ten times or more

She could spit in the eyes of fools

As they ask her to focus on

[CHORUS]

Sailors fighting in the dance hall

Oh man!

Look at those cavemen go

It's the freakiest show

Take a look at the Lawman

Beating up the wrong guy

Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show

Is there life on Mars?

It's on Amerika's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse

has grown up a cow

Now the workers

have struck for fame

'Cause Lennon's on sale again

See the mice in their million hordes

From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads

Rule Britannia is out of bounds

To my mother, my dog, and clowns

But the film is a saddening bore

'Cause I wrote it

ten times or more

It's about to be writ again

As I ask you to focus on

[CHORUS]

Dring-dring-dring......

[Mind the phone]

Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Wierd and Gilly,

And The Spiders from Mars.

He played it left hand, but made it too far,

Became the special man,

Then we were Ziggy's Band.

Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo

Like some cat from Japan, he could lick 'em by smiling

He could leave 'em to hang

Here came on so loaded man, well hung and snow white tan.

So where were the spiders while the fly tried to break our balls?

Just the beer light to guide us.

So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands?

Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were Voodoo

The kids was just crass,

He was the naz

With God given ass

He took it all too far

But boy could he play guitar.

Making love with his ego Ziggy sucked up into his mind

Like a leper messiah

When the kids had killed the man

I had to break up the band

Ziggy played guitar