Strange Things Go On At Canterlot High (Cancelled)

by PyraFlare

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Equestria Girls, Comedy, Random, Human, Alternate Universe
Length: 2630

You know the stories, boy meets girl, they both develop feelings for each other and only confess them at the end of the tale and live happily ever after. Hate to tell ya sunshine, this ain't that kinda love story.

Canterlot High has seen its fair share of relationships, from a chef of Irish decent with a cellist to an orange haired Japanese swordsman with a crooked eyed girl. All of them seem to get along perfectly with little to no fights. Time that changed.

Meet Roden Godswell, son of the infamous Chrysalis and Sapphire Phoenix, daughter of the trigger happy Nathan Phoenix.

These two manage to find each other somehow attractive and then their destructive tendencies only creates more sexual tension! Which sparks awkward romantic advice from friends! Then leads to a bad first date that makes them both understand each other more!

You get the idea, and if you don't, well then I guess you could just read the damn thing to actually understand it.

(Ok, a bit of a rough start out here but I can recover, just gonna take a bit longer than I expected)

Part of the PoME universe, you do not need to know anything about that to read this story. Any OCs that do not belong to me are owned by their creators in the PoME group.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-21 20:51:16 UTC

1) Madness

In the school of Canterlot High, a girl named Sunset Shimmer sat by a statue in the front courtyard deep in thought.

"Hey Sunset!" Pinkie Pie appeared beside her and caused Sunset to jump.

"Pinkie! What have I told you about popping out of nowhere like that?"

"To not do it?" Pinkie received a nod in response. "Okie dokie lokie. So, whatcha thinkin about?" Pinkie asked as she sat down beside her friend.

"Oh just some stuff, like all the relationships that have been starting in school." Sunset replied as she looked up to the sky.

"There is a lot of them isn't there?"'

Sunset smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm glad that people are finding their perfect someone, but something about it feels too...perfect. Like, there isn't any major conflict other than the occasional magic incident or whatever." Sunset sighed and scratched her head. "It gets a bit boring, even with Treble Mix doing his random antics and spending time with our friends, it just seems that things are too peaceful."

Pinkie looked at Sunset confused before realising what she was trying to say. "Well, would you rather things be absolutely chaotic all the time instead of it being peaceful?"

Sunset chuckled. "I guess not. Just me letting my thoughts go places." Well, Unkown to Sunset, things were about to get a little more...is interesting the right term to use here? Because it's just gonna get insane from here on in.

...

Meanwhile

On a train headed for Canterlot City a boy with long green hair sat in a booth with a woman. He wore a green scarf that covered his mouth, his eyes were also green and his skin was peach. He wore a green hoodie with green jeans and sneakers. He was currently looking at the woman in front of him with a slightly angry expression.

"Are you mad?" The woman asked. She had long green hair with holes along the ends, her dark grey skin making her hair and green emerald eyes seem like neon colours. For some reason she was wearing what appeared to be a cross between day to day attire and a French maid costume. "You're mad aren't you?"

The boy remained silent.

"Is this because I stopped and changed?"

Again she was met with silence.

"Look I wanna look my best and I've been wearing the same outfit for a year now."

More silence.

"Are you mad?"

"I'm not mad! I just don't understand your outfit! I just don't!" He finally replied.

"I get the feeling you're upset."

"No! No! I'm not upset! I'm not!" He yelled. "This country is upset! With absurd prices! Five dollars for a meal at McDonald's?! I need more neat in my diet!" The woman just stared at him. "I look around and I see just stupid! People are complaining about religion! No one cares! Umpa-lumpas are murdering themselves!" As he said that an short orange skinned person had jumped from a bridge and hit the window by their booth, only slightly damaging the glass. "Ok...was not expecting that today..."

"Look son, I know you're angry for having to leave our home, but trust me, we will be getting a lot more out of this city than in that backwater town. Just remember what I told you to do if you meet a girl."

"Cap it before you tap it?"

"No the other thing." She said with a wave of her hand.

"Use their love as a tool?"

"Bingo. Just remember that Roden and you'll do fine in the world." She grinned at her son.

"Yeah I've been meaning to talk to you about that, how in the flying fuck did you ever come to the conclusion that you needed to use people as tools just to get far in life? And don't give me bullshit about my dad I know it was a one night stand gone wrong." He asked her in a hostile tone.

"Just something my mother taught me, and it's gotten me far in life, including being able to have you." She said with a smirk as she pulled his scarf up a bit as it was dropping down slightly. "It wasn't a one night stand gone wrong, I wanted a child, I just had no time for a relationship."

"Yeah yeah, keep trying to butter me up Chrysalis, but you might wanna save that butter for some popcorn." Roden said as he reclined back in his seat.

"You still insist on calling me by my name on this train ride?" She asked with a smile and raised brow.

"I don't want people knowing I'm the spawn of someone dressed as a prostitute, fuck you very much." He finished and closed his eyes, his arms behind his head and his feet on the table in front of him.

...

Principal Celestia sat in her office looking over the papers for new students that wished to join the school. She smiled as she read some of the names, but froze in horror at two separate files. One read 'Roden Godswell' while the other read 'Sapphire Phoenix.'

Celestia took in a deep breath as she kept her cool. "So it begins." She knew of these two and their families. She was not looking forward to having BOTH of them around the school causing havoc, but hopefully the students that she could trust would be able to keep them on the right path.

There was no telling what would happen if those two crossed paths, she could only hope that they didn't cause too much damage, both mentally and physically. One of their parents was a manipulative man eater while the other was a man who crafted crazy weapons for a research company that somehow always got away with whatever they did.

The next few weeks there was going to be a lot of cursing, violence, immaturity...and whiskey, that was the only way that Celestia could handle the situation, with a bottle of whiskey.

2) Second dose of weirdness

In the main part of Canterlot City there stood a tall, clean white skyscraper with light blue neon lights at the edges. At the top,of the buildings main entrance there was a large light blue sign of two 'C's back to back with the word 'CyCorp Industries' underneath it in bold blue letters. In the buildings main courtyard a girl looked up at the building. She had long sapphire blue hair and eyes, her skin was peace she also wore a white jacket with blue lines going down the arms and across the chest. She wore this jacket unzipped, to fully show off her sapphire blue dress that came down to the middle of her thighs with white leggings covering her legs with two blue sneakers on her feet.

As she walked through the automatic doors of the building she turned towards the elevator. Once inside she pressed her desired floor and the elevator began to move upwards. As she reached her floor the sounds of various machines being operated and constructed filled the air. She walked past the various rooms that held various scientists experimenting in their own projects. CyCorp mainly focuses on advancing robotics, but had various other divisions that did experiments for the government. Her destination however, wasn't the robotics lab or any genetic experiment labs, no, she was going to her favourite section of the building, the weapons development division.

Once she walked in the sound of machinery was silenced by the glorious sound of gunfire and in some cases blaster fire. The weapons development division mainly focused on basic weaponry, but the had a team that created the most over the top weapons imaginable...but still had to keep the destructive capabilities to a certain degree.

"Ah! There's my special girl!" A loud voice exclaimed catching the girls attention. A large muscular man rushed over to her and brought her into a loving hug. He wore a purple jacket with white jeans and purple boots, his hair being long and spiky while along with his eyes were coloured purple.

"Hi daddy." The girl replied as the man set her down.

"Now what do I owe the pleasure of my wingless Angel coming into my lab for?" The man asked happily.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something...that and test out the new weapons." She replied with a smirk.

"Alright then let's get to the shooting range where we can talk in quiet." The man replied softly before yelling to the back room. "MOONDANCER!!!"

"WHAT!?!?" A loud female voice shouted back from the room.

"CLEAR THE SHOOTING RANGE, ME AND MY BABY GIRL NEED TO USE IT!!!"

"FINE!!!" The sound of footsteps was heard before several gunshots echoed from the room. "EVERYONE CLEAR OUT, SAPPHIRE IS HERE!!!"

"I like her." The girl said with a sadistic smile.

"Yeah she's nice enough, although she can never compare to you or your beautiful mom!" The man began walking towards the shooting range with his daughter in tow. "Now come on Sapphire, tell daddy what's the matter."

As Sapphire walked into the shooting range with her father she looked over the various guns layed out on the table. "It's about the school you're sending me to." She said as she picked up a semi-automatic rifle with a large silver stock and 20 round magazine.

"Oh, you mean Canterlot High? What do you wanna know about it?" Her father asked while picking up his own weapon.

"Just why you think it'll be a good place for me, mom is worried I'll cause trouble if I'm not careful so I want to know what I'm getting into." Sapphire walked over to one of the booths and began shooting targets that popped up with deadly accuracy.

"Well the teachers are meant to be nice, the principal is supposed to be a friendly woman and the students...well...they're all unique, let's just leave it at that." Her father said as he began shooting.

"Unique in what way?" Sapphire asked as she swapped out her empty magazine.

"You know your friend? Shard Storm I think his name is?"

Sapphire put on a small smile at the mention of the name. "Yeah, Shard. He's an employee here remember? He tests out the crazy stuff no one else wants to. What about him?"

"Well when he first went to the school...he got a girlfriend within a day." Her father responded flatly.

"That's not surprising, his family is very traditional, all of his ancestors found their romantic partners around his age, guess he's just keeping the trend going. It's not like he'd just choose a random girl to date on the spot, that's not what he's like." Sapphire stopped as she was about to fire. "Dad...how many new students have recently went to Canterlot High?"

"Quite a few."

"How many of them found a romantic partner within a short timeframe?" She asked while turning to him.

"...All of them..."

Sapphire just took in a calming breath. "Dad, are you sending me there just so I can get a boyfriend?"

"WHAT?!?! Oh nononono, I would never do that sweetie."

"HE TOTALLY DID!!!" Moondancer yelled in from the other room.

Sapphire's father began to back away from his daughter as she glared at him, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "N-Now now sweetie, I didn't know about all of that when I enrolled you, it was only recently that a student there entered the building and we crossed paths and told me, I think she was Shards girlfriend. Oh what was her name again? Dippy or something? Ditzy! Yes it was-shit." Was all he got out before Sapphire took a flamethrower in her hands and began chasing her father through the lab.

Don't worry she's not gonna hurt him...much.

Meanwhile Roden and Chrysalis had exited the train in Canterlot City Station where Roden had slipped away from his mother to avoid being seen with someone dressed, as he put it, "Like a submissive housewife from one of those freaky things you see on the adult channel late at night."

You're probably thinking that Roden is just some stereotypical moody teenager that swears out the ass to try and seem edgy, but to be honest with you he's actually an alright guy. If you want to see him as the asshole then you can, if you want to see him as a deep down nice guy you can do that as well, I'm not here to tell you what to think. He's just a bit cranky from the long train ride and moving to a new city suddenly. Seriously, he was given like two days notice for this. That can be put on his mother who usually does things without telling him first, then he has to go around and clean up her mess when things go expectedly to shit.

So he figured he'd take some time away from his mother to clear his head and get to know the area. His new home was outside the city in a neighbourhood close to Canterlot High, oh how convenient. He had arranged to meet an old friend in the city, to do a little catch up and get info on the city and school.

As he walked through the busy streets of the city he sighed through his scarf, letting his thoughts go to random places. He often let his mind wander freely and had a tendency to bring that mindset into conversations by accident, making him appear random and sometimes, and by that I mean most of the time, like an asshole as he is literally speaking his mind.

He passed a fancy restaurant that gave off a wonderful aroma to those passing, drawing in more customers. The aroma affected everyone, except for Roden, as his nose doesn't work right. That's not to say he can't smell things, if a scent is really close to his nostrils or is really strong then he will be able to detect it.

He walked for awhile before seeing a familiar face by a coffee shop that waved to him. He managed to form the smallest of smiles under his scarf as he walked towards his old friend, Octavia Melody.

Link to the remake

I won't delete this story due to request, but I'm not touching it again after this. The first chapter of the remake is finished, if you're still interested in this story then you can follow it with the link provided. I can assure you Thai one is much more pleasant to read and I have put it through some of my most loyal readers to make sure it is enjoyable and can actually be presented as a story.

Link to Romantic Redux

Redo

I'm going to say this, I am not happy with how this story turned out. I don't like the way I've written it, I don't like what I've put into it and I most certainly do not like the humour I've tried to pit into it, if there even is any

I will be taking this story down, I'm sorry but it's gotta go

For those that actually like this story, and it's a miracle if you do, I will be doing a remake called Romantic Redux that will be put to a higher standard and I will be putting it through some of my followers first to see if it lives up to what I want

This story was a mistake and it's a mistake I need to correct. If you have anything to say I will be leaving the story up for awhile longer, but it will be taken down (or maybe it will just stay cancelled, still haven't decided)

Thank you, and I'm sorry