Tales From the Jingleverse

by R3D4K73D

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Discord, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe
Length: 4777

Welcome to the Jingleverse, where a collection of tales have reached epic proportions of both fame and infamy. Follow along as tales from and of an immortal unicorn, an anonymous mob boss, a socially awkward shapeshifter, and several others are told.

Welcome to the Jingleverse. Not everything here is as it seems to be: an immortal unicorn, an anonymous mob boss, a socially awkward shapeshifter, and several more, all living their lives as only they can.

All things considered, you better get comfy, it's going to be a long journey.

Maturity rating and categories are subject to change as the story progresses onward.

Published 2016-02-15 06:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-13 21:15:13 UTC

PROLOGUE: Pt. 1: Meet Jingle

Hi! My name's Jingle, but you can call me Jingle! I'm a pink unicorn who loves sweets, but honestly, who doesn't? I have a purple mane and tail. My bangs hang over my left eye when I'm not wearing my favorite fool's cap, and my tail is braided in the middle with a cute, golden bell that I've had tied to the end of my tail every morning since I was given it. I have, as many ponies have told me, very beautiful, golden-amber eyes. When I do wear my cap, I like to tuck my bangs into it, but there are days when I leave my bangs out; those days usually end with a pony accidentally ending up in the care of the Emergency Treatment Unit... Those days are weird though... Especially The Haypony Affair... That pudding wave came out of nowhere.

I was born in a small village called Silverhoof Village, which was once located in the old kingdoms, back before Equestria was founded. I was born into this world an orphan, my father having died from an illness a few weeks before my mom died giving birth to me. I know it may sound sad, but I was fine enough; sure, I spent a few years in an orphanage, but I managed to get adopted by a loving earth pony family. It was around this time of year that the snow was harsh and there were rumors that Chancellor Puddinghead and Smart Cookie were going to find a new home for everypony to live. Once they returned with news that they had discovered new territory and made a treaty with the other tribes, my adoptive family and I had journeyed with earnest hope that life would be perfect.

For a time, it was; my family started up a farm, which I helped to the best of my ability, but, unfortunately, I could only do so much; mainly I just pulled the cart and lifted things with magic, but even that went wrong sometimes; most of which was because I was distracted. I know most ponies wouldn't admit such things if they were in similar situations, but that's what happened; some times, I would forget to block the wheels of the cart, and the cart would roll away; other times, I would forget I was using my magic and I would drop something; usually, it's something wet, and, usually, it's on somepony. I suppose that may have been why I hadn't acquired my cutie mark, but it wasn't long until I found what would later lead me in finding my passion.

It happened when a travelling magician found his way into town proper. He was a grey unicorn who went by the name of Capricious, and anypony who gathered around his travelling cart was welcomed with music so dissonant, it harmonized. He started off his show by stepping out to address his audience with a hypnotic charm that could catch anypony's interest and a smile that could captivate a mare off her hooves.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts! May I have your attention please! Ye are about to see magick the likes seen only by our ancestors! Behind me lay artifacts beyond normal pony comprehension that date to times unknown! I ask that nopony let thy guard to waver in the slightest, for this is dangerous magick indeed, so dangerous, it could kill anypony who dare use it if they are too inexperienced! Ye have heard me right mine eager audience! I am risking mine own life, safety, and wellbeing to quell thy fascination! I only ask that Ye bear with mine exhibitions for three days, only then will you see the full potential these wonders hold! Until then, feel free to browse my collection of merchandise!"

A buzz of intrigue washed over the crowd as the magician stepped away and set up a little stall of miscellaneous items ranging from knic-knacks to produce, promptly turning the 'closed' sign around when finished. It was only a matter of time before the stall was crowded as several curious mares and stallions looked through his selection with both a twinge of confusion and a smidgen of awe.

"Could'st thou tell us of that hoofmirror, perchance?" an pink-maned mare asked, pointing a hoof at a bejeweled reflection.

The magician looked at the mirror and responded with a smile, "Why, of course m'lady! Thou hast a keen eye, for this mirror will make thee beautiful as long as thou looks into it. I know not why such a beautiful, young lady as thyself would be interested, but I would be willing to sell this valuable treasure to thee for the modest price of ten bits."

The mare had smiled giddily as her alabaster cheeks glowed and her wings ruffled as she turned to a blue mare, "Did thou hearest that, sister? It seems that I have won our little wager."

The magician/salespony looked on with intrigue as he leaned across the counter, "Pray tell, m'lady, would'st thou be kind enough to tell me of this wager?"

It was the blue mare who answered this time, "We wagered as to whether or not ye would be flattering in regard to my sister. She said that thou would'st, I, on the other hoof, said otherwise."

The magician sprang backward, clutching his heart, "Thou hast hurt me, O slayer of intentions harmless! I mean no ill will to thee nor thy sister, I promise. Would'st thou please accept my humblest of apologies?"

The blue mare chuckled as she wore a thoughtful guise as she 'pondered' the question before standing to attention, "If thou were to lower the price to two bits, then, perhaps, thou would'st be forgiven." a smirk announced it's presence subtly on her face.

"Hmm... ," the stallion considered aloud, "Would'st thou accept to pay eight bits instead?"

"Four bits."

"Six bits?"

"Five bits, and that's my final offer."

The magician sighed audibly, "Thou hast wit to match thy sister's beauty; 'tis almost a shame that we can't be business partners; deal."

The two mares strode up to the counter as they exchanged bits for the mirror, the blue mare being the one who paid, more than likely due to the wager mentioned earlier.

"Fair warning, m'lady; the mirror's magic will only work in complete darkness." the magician smiled.

Somepony laughed aloud. As the crowd looked around, trying to locate the sound's origin, it became all the more clear to me that I was the one who was laughing, but that didn't stop me; it only bolstered my confidence, making me laugh all the more so until I stopped only to wipe the tears from my eyes.

It was, at this point and time, apparent to me that all eyes had fixed themselves onto me, a majority of them disapproving of my outburst, the magician seeming to be the only exception as he smirked.

"My, it seems that there is yet another mare with a healthy wit; might I inquire thy name, fair lass?" the stallion inquired.

"I go by the name of 'Jingle', sir."

"Would'st thou care to receive the choice of one item free of charge as a reward for thine observant wit? 'Tis the least I could do to save my pride from being twice humbled."

Silence.

I could only stare in disbelief as this stranger waited in turn for my answer. Never before was I rewarded for my random outbursts; never before had anypony even looked at me with fascination rather than annoyance. Was it due to his newcomer status? Was it because, like some ponies, he felt pity? I could only stand there, shocked as he inquired again.

"Would'st thou, fair Jingle?"

Say something, Jingle! ANYTHING!

The squawk that came out from my mouth made me want to just bury myself alive so nopony would ever have yet another thing to tease me about.

Author's Note

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Special thanks to editor Dragonblade0196.

PROLOGUE: Pt. 2: How She Got Her Humble Hat

"Art thou alright?" a voice had asked, and were I not rendered speechless before, I would've been able to tell who was addressing me. For the moment, all I could do was stiffen up more at the question as whomever it was continued to speak.
"Thou hast been silent for a couple of moments now, and that is beginning to worry us..."

Us? As in more than one? By the Maker, how many ponies are looking at me?!
With great haste, I broke myself out of the embarrassing trance in which I had led myself into. Trying not to move my head, I searched the crowd for what I feared I would find, to which, I was not disappointed.

There were a few dozens' worth of gazes trained and honed to my direction. What had surprised me though was that the two ponies from before were gazing upon me with what could only be concern in their eyes. Standing as close as I was to them, I could practically feel the sheer power they held radiate off of them, despite their current guises. I could only dart my eyes between the two,processing what they had said.

The white mare shuffled on her hooves, anxious about something I could only narrow down to either she was worried about me, she wanted to go, or she needed to 'go'. Her wings shifted about without fully leaving her sides. The blue mare was a bit more subdued in her actions, yet she maintained as much eye contact as she could with me, her horn tilted upward. This was not in snobbery, but to make sure she wouldn't accidentally run anypony through.

I could only guess that one of the two had been the voice from earlier, and, unaware as to which one, I simply nodded my head as only a tense pony could do so, slowly and cautiously.

The blue mare had kept her gaze fixated upon me as she spoke, her voice calm and level, "Wouldst thou perhaps prefer to peruse this pony's products in the presence of ponies such as my sister and me?"

I could hardly keep the smile forming on my face from showing. Though, at the time, I did not know the term 'alliteration', her use of it had relieved some of the tension within me.

"Then," she continued, "my sister and I could accompany thee to whatever else of thy choice, perhaps? We have plenty of time to spare."

I nod my head, again, less hesitant than before. "P-please accept my thanks, thou dost not know quite how genuine I am when I say that I am grateful to ye both."

"'Tis nothing that thou needest to worry about. Come, thou still hast thy gift to choose."

We walked toward the magician, Capricious, who was awaiting us with a subdued grin. He bid his time and relished the tense air of silence. The closer we got to him, the more uncertain I became of how things will turn out. I could sense the potential danger that may come about should I have talked to him in great detail.

"My," the stallion mumbled just when we reached the counter, "art thou truly afraid of me, Lady Jingle?"

His voice! Something was wrong with his voice, an air of sadistic pleasure dripped off of each super-saturated syllable. It was as though it took great pleasure seeping into my very being, as if smiting my every bone, muscle, and joint with a feeling that chilled me to my very core. This caused me to tense up far more than I care to admit.

A smug grin subtly teased its way onto his muzzle, "It doth seem that thou really art fearful of my presence. I assure thee that thy fear is misplaced. Choose, and thou shalt receive. Thou hast my word of honour."

Eyeing him warily, I drew my attention to the selection in which the stallion had provided. There were several things, the likes that I have never seen before. They immediately caught my eye. An array of brilliant golden apples, bottles of scented aromatics cluttered together, a flüglehorn or two, even a chess set with custom hoof-carved pieces paired with a board.

However, what gathered my attention almost entirely was not one of the several gaudy trinkets or vibrantly coloured souvenirs, but a simple unassuming tricorn of a fool's cap. It didn't even have any bells, like how Granny Wise Crack spoke of in the stories she recalled to my siblings and myself at night. Her stories told of cunning tricksters along side the kings and queens they had fooled. No, this hat had nary a bell on any of the three tips it sported.

"A very interesting choice, m'lady." The magician spoke.

I blinked in mild confusion, then stared at the odd stallion who seemed to know my thoughts almost before I did.

"Huh?"

"The hat, fair Jingle. Now, I shan't try to sell this as something it is not; 'tis a simple hat, and nothing more, but that is what giveth it the humble charm thou hast noticed."

He paused, taking a brief moment only to eye me further.

"'Tis a perfect complement to many a poniality, and I do believe that thou shalt wear it well. Dost thou wish to wear it now, or would'st thou rather have it delivered to thy residence?"

"Erm..." I began to say in utter disbelief, particularly dumbfounded at the performer and all things related to his being.

"Perfect choice," the pony chimed as the cap was unceremoniously plopped down onto my head, "now, don't let me stop thee from having fun. 'Tis a wonderous world we live in, shoo shoo!"

He waved us goodbye, grinning with utter satisfaction.

We walked away in silence, unsure of what to say. Surely, all of us were at a loss for words.

"Well then," the white mare spoke, a hint of giddiness in her voice, "where dost thou wish to go, Jingle?"

Author's Note

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Special thanks to editor's/pre-readers misfithorse and Dragonblade0196.

PROLOGUE: Pt. 3: Running Errands & Other Fun Stuff

"What dost thou mean?"

The blue mare looked at me with a gaze part suspicion, part anxiety. It had not been half an hour after we had departed from the strange magician's stand, and I had been wondering something that I had not the courage to have asked earlier. However, once we got to know each other better, I had gathered up the nerve to ask.

"Ye both know my name, yet I have yet to learn yours. What would they be perchance?"

Both mares looked around, keeping an eye on anypony who was close by. Finally, the blue mare spoke, "M- my name is... Selena? Yes, that is what it is, Selena.... A- and... My sister... Her name is... Cælia?"

I looked at the two of them. 'Selena' was wearing a painful looking grimace as worry bloomed in her eyes. Her sister, 'Cælia', simply cradled her head in a forehoof, trying to hide herself as much as possible with her wings.

"Is that so?" I asked bemused whilst raising an eyebrow.

Sweat was starting to form on Selena's brow, "Y-yes?"

"If that be the case, would'st thou answer a question for me?"

"And what wouldeth be thy question?"

"Are ye sisters by blood, and if so, would'st thou please explain exactly how a unicorn and a pegasus, who -might I add- are seemingly the same age as me, are sisters related by blood?"

Were it not for the context of the situation, I would have found Selena's reaction amusing. Her lower jaw seemed to have detached itself from her skull and it merely hung limp, occasionally opening and closing in a dumbfounded stupor.
Cælia's reaction was no less interesting as, were it not for the fact I had seen her before, I would've sworn that a giant pile of feathers had materialized before me as she bundled herself ever further under her wings.

To this day, I do not regret what I did next. Taking my hoof, I placed it upturned under her chin, and closed her mouth... slowly. Silence still hung simply in the air when I decided to do the next thing I could think of.

"Boop!"

Magenta eyes peeked out from behind the feathered cocoon. "Did'st thou just do what I believe that thou hast done?"

"I did, and don't the both of ye forget it."

Selena brought her hoof up to her muzzle, feeling the spot that I had booped her nose, her blue coat mixing subtly with the blush that was forming until she sported a lovely shade of violet on her cheeks. She looked at me with confusion.

"Well, Selena, Cælia, we still have stuff we have yet to do. What say that we do those things?"
The both of them merely nodded as they followed beside me.

"Don't worry," I smirked, "your secret is safe with me."

Cælia stiffened up. "What secret dost thou mean?"

"That ye are party planners sent here by my parents for my birthday on the morrow."

"What?"

I smirked at her response.

Cælia repeated herself, "What?!"

"Well," I began, "'tis either that, or ye are of a... special case of conception."

I let the words sink in before a look of skittishness started finding its way onto their faces.

"I spent half of my foalhood in an orphanage," I continued," not everypony's parents died; some had abandoned their foals to save face. I am smarter than I look, and they couldn't hide such privy information from me for long- In any case, we still need to get going. The day waits for nopony, and I still have errands."

We walked onwards, resuming the silence. Occasionally, either Selena or Cælia would act as if they wanted to bring up a topic of conversation only to second guess as to whether or not they should break this muteness.

Eventually, we made our first stop at the town market to pick up ingredients; milk from Mrs. Bessie, eggs from Mr. Hard Boiled, and flour from Ms. Fine Grain.

Well, I know I'd said that my family ran a farm, but I just couldn't bring myself to use any of the family stock for what I was going to do.

"Now," I said, gaining the attention of the two mares following me, "I got the cake; shall we go get presents, or invite guests?"

"Jingle?" Cælia asked

"Yes?"

"Could'st thou explain to us why thou art planning thine own party?"

I had an answer to the question, but simply couldn't bring myself to give it.

"Well?", she inquired once more.

"I wish not to answer it now. Could I ask thee to stay thy questions until my party is prepared? Thou hast my word; should I lie to you both, I shall let our divine maker do what they will to me."

Cælia's hesitation could clearly be seen.

I put a hoof her shoulder and looked her in the eyes, "Please?"

She sighed audibly, "Fine," she answered, "thou hast my word we shan't press thee any longer."

"Many thanks, now let me hug you!" I looked over to Selena and waved her over, embracing the two mares claiming to be sisters. It was an awkward hug, but nopony objected. Either way, it was a truly heartwarming event that had bonded us together as if by tree sap.

"Now," I said, breaking away from the hug, "presents or invitations?"

"Ungh!" they both groaned audibly in unison, exasperatingly so.

Author's Note

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Special thanks to my editors/pre-readers misfithorse and Dragonblade0196

PROLOGUE: Pt. 4: Interlude 1

~*~{Selena & Cælia}~*~

"Are we done yet?" Selena groaned, her muscles aching from walking to and fro, placing posters that proclaimed the party of the pink pony she had come to know both as 'Jingle' and 'friend' in the short time they knew each other.

"Thou could'st not be getting tired now of all times, sister," Cælia teased,"we have yet to get to the fun part!"

"I am not in the mood, sister. We already chose the gifts we are to give our friend. What else be there to do?

Jingle looked at the other unicorn appalled, giving her a frightful chill.

"What dost thou mean 'what else be there to do?'?", Jingle spoke,"There be many a thing to do, should one such as thyself look!" Jingle started closing the distance between Selena and herself, "Dost thou not see the gifts that hideth under thy muzzle?" Selena, noticing how close the awestruck mare was getting, decided it was best to backstep away from the advancing unicorn as she continued her sermon, "The grass that thou could'st frolic in? The clouds thou could'st watch?" Selena hit something. Looking back, she saw that she was cornered between two walls. When she looked back, she could see the mare closing in, "The games that we could play? Surely, introducing me to thy friends and family could'st easily be done by thee?" By now, the blue and pink unicorn mares were face-to-face, Jingle's eyes boring their way into Selena's very being- this, she was more sure of than any other thing that had ever crossed her mind in the past, "And we can't forget about the most obvious thing we could do." Jingle voiced, "Dost thou wish to know it?"

Selena gulped, trying her best to swallow all the tension that she was feeling. A crisp breeze blew, cooling the sweat that had formed on her brow as she looked for any escape she could take to present itself.

Jingle had decidedly taken the silence as confirmation, "I know that we have known each other for a short time, but I am certain that thou wilt like it as much as I would. 'Tis something that takes its toll on the inexperienced, but methinks thou could'st handle the physical exertion. We could go at it until one of us finish first, but that doth not mean we have to stop. Cælia could join as well, but I feel it wouldeth be more meaningful if 'tis only us, though she couldeth watch if she wisheth; I encourage her to do so even. In the end, though, we may just lie on the ground, gasping for our breaths whilst sweat saturateth our fur and we think back to the wond'rous highlights fill'd with excitement and energy."

Jingle had stopped her little tirade and looked at the cornered mare, noting perplexedly at how her face had shifted into a magnificent shade of mulberry.

"Jingle," the slightly bothered voiced of Cælia spoke, "what dost thou mean by saying such things?"

"A race to finish with the posters, of course." Jingle said, turning to find Cælia crimson-faced and stiff-winged, "What did thou think I meant?"

~*~{Capricious}~*~

Hmm?

This is interesting. You see, I wasn't expecting to play host to you so soon. In all honesty, I figured that I would have been left alone until one of the later tales... Well, other than playing my role in this one of course.

I suppose introductions are in order; you already know me as "Capricious" (if I reveal too much about the story, the author may just find a different "character" to fill my role, but with all due respect, who else could pull this role off better than yours truly?) I suppose this is where you introduce yourself to me now. Go on, I can wait.

...

...

What? You didn't think I was serious? What. Is. Your. Name?

...

See? That reader knows their manners.

Now that we more or less know who each other are, I can tell you what is happening where I am, which, to be honest, is nothing much, but the story must go on or else I may not be part of it anymore.

How is it that these ponies can stand being in these cramped bodies? I think to myself handing a bag of popcorn to a beige-ish earth pony mare who is more than likely insignificant to the rest of the story. They don't even seem to notice how cramped they look in these awkwardly shaped bodies. I am getting cramps just looking at them. Great! Now I'm bored too. Why was I even sent to this town?

Now, for the sake of the story, something caught my eye. The best way I could describe this "something" is that it was an amorphous, pale green cloud of smoke that had -for lack of a better word- congealed into a cloaked figure that nary another soul seemed to notice. Smiling (somewhat like this pony you all know but won't see until this tale is finished :pinkiesmile: that pony. (there's an interesting story of how Jingle and her meet, but that story is for another time.)), I flip my 'open/closed' sign around and trot off to a relatively secluded area knowing that the figure will follow me.

I stop and turn to the figure as my smile increases, "NEX! How are you my good friend?!" I exclaim, startling the figure.

"DONT DO THAT!" he screamed in a meek voice, "It's bad enough that Master Belphegor ordered me to supervise you, Master Loki."

"Now, Nex, what did I say about using my true name in public?"

"That I shouldn't, but Master Belphegor said-"

"How is Belphegor, that brother of mine, doing nowadays? As a matter of fact, how are all of my brothers doing? They never really talk to me much since I was sent here to do this job."

"They're doing fine, Master Loki, but-"

"What did I say abou-"

"MASTER LOKI!!!"

I really wasn't expecting him to get so angry. I went quiet, not because I was afraid (which I wasn't... shut up.), but because I supposed that I should listen to what he was trying to say (totally wasn't afraid...)

He continued, in a calmer yet still annoyed tone, "You have been out of Tartarus for five years now. Throughout all that time, you have been tasked with finding someone capable of being the catalyst. Your brothers are starting to think that you are neglecting your duties. You are a Tartaran Prince for Maker's sake, Master Loki; with all due respect, you should have been able to complete this job four years ago."

I sigh wearily, "I am doing my job, thank you very much. It's just so boring. Do you know what the most exiting thing in the last few years was? It was tax day. The lot of them scrambling about at the last minute just so they wouldn't be caught with tax evasion. What's more, being a Tartaran Prince isn't as fun as it would be since I was left with whatever my seven elder brothers didn't claim. Can you guess how much it was?"

"You're just going to-"

"They left me with nothing, no, not the door to the void that dearest Brother Belphegor claimed, nothing."

"At least tell me that you are close to finding a capable catalyst, Master Loki."

Just then, a gust of wind blew by and I was assaulted by sheets of parchment to which I did the most reasonable thing I could think of in quick response; I screamed like a... (Really author? Really? Like any one of your readers would believe that I would scream like a little filly.)

It was just my luck that, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, Nex started laughing at me.

"OH HUSH UP ALREADY AND GET THESE OFF OF ME!"

"Whatever you say Master Loki, Princess of Tartarus."

Thankfully, we had gotten those infernal sheets off of me, save for the one impaled on my horn.

I took it off and read it, a trademark smile adorning itself upon my face, "I believe I may have found our catalyst Nex, and she's having a party tomorrow."

Author's Note

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4311/57/4/43.0021/54597.97728/0981.0/06/887548.4/6684159/0.425/848674.9//8695/86/06.9/36979590./5760879/88./94850//098/6.940/11/098/7.4305426/56.91/667760/0.9/36979590./876/635652.4/86612512.4/86617177./12053149/1.585441/499.96695/682/9.81417//614/2.6/0112/698/8.449848/55/0.8709866/95./07628/732/6.1530/318/31.53/312799/3.07646/7881.27/01/2697/0.434/90/1563.293/206073./80/054/3532./53520//152/3.1/391/44/281.4/862796/66.9/46597/425.97/547/7616.0/33/087/076.02197/4995.737/843189.042197//036.93/554/1462.3/756486/56.932235/425./12097846//3./4331/0240/3./81/5697/08/3.312977/425./99/0545/62/0.447/20798//1.933/17/0624.5493/27945.//

Special thanks to editor/pre-reader Dragonblade0196 and pre-reader LunarPrince.

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Author's Note

ERROR 404: CHAPTER NOT FOUND