Fluttershy was in a hurry to get ready. Yesterday during their weekly tea party, Discord had dropped an odd invitation on the shy pony.
“Oh, Discord, that’s such a silly story! A kingdom made of candy. Pinkie Pie would certainly love to see that.”
“Yes and you should see the people there. Dumb as rocks. If they didn’t have a princess so smart I would assume they’d have been eaten ages ago.” The draconequus sipped at his tea ingesting the pattern on the tea cup instead of the liquid inside.
“Well it still sounds amazing. Maybe someday I’ll be able to go on one of your trips.”
“Really?” Discord set his tea down on the saucer floating in midair. “Because I actually have an event I need to attend outside the temporal causeways tomorrow and I’d love it if you could join me.”
Fluttershy nearly spit out her drink in surprise but was able to gulp it down just in time. “Um, I mean, tomorrow is pretty fast and I truly meant ‘someday.’ Like maybe when I’m a little bit braver.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t worry. We’re not going anywhere specifically odd. Just meeting a few old acquaintances at a familiar location. It’s perfectly safe. And you’ll have me there.” He took her hoof and gave her his sincerest smile, which was rare for the spirit of chaos. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Um, well…” In the end she agreed.
Now Fluttershy was pacing back and forth in her cottage. Her saddle bag was packed with snacks and treats, just in case anypony got hungry. She didn’t know the kind of people Discord liked to hang around with but she still wanted to make a good impression.
She took a quick look at her clock which read 5:59 pm. Discord said he would be picking her up at 6. Fluttershy knew enough of the old spirit to know that whatever he said he literally meant. At the clock’s chime of 6 Discord popped into the small living room with a magical poof. He didn’t seem to be dressed for anything like he was at the gala, so she wondered if the sunhat she now wore was even needed.
“Sorry for the delay, I was having a bit of trouble clearing up a dust bunny invasion under my couch. The suckers can be pretty vicious when their defending their territory.”
“Oh, I know some bunnies can be very territorial.” She caught a quick glance at the couch where a snow white rabbit sat reading a magazine. She loved Angel Bunny but the rabbit could get on quite a few ponies’ bad sides.
“Well are you ready to go?”
“Oh, um, well perhaps I just need to straighten… or maybe fix up-“
Her words were cut short when Discord slashed his claws through the air. The action left a huge hole in the air as a result. Fluttershy stared into it and all she could see was swirling blue. “Well let’s be off then, I want to be early enough so I can introduce you to everyone.”
“Oh, goody…”
They passed through the portal and Fluttershy kept her eyes closed. Only when she was sure she was on real ground again did she open them. They were in a room. It reminded her a lot of the Crystal Kingdom’s architecture. Both the walls and floor were made of the mineral. In the center of the round shaped room stood a rather ordinary looking table. Around it were five chairs. Discord took a seat on one, crossing his legs.
He took a quick scan of the room. “Hm, that’s odd. There’s usually at least one person here already. I wonder where he-“ but Discord’s words were drowned out as giant green swirling mass appeared in the middle of the room. Its appearance accompanied by a sort of “schlorp” sound. Suddenly two creatures which Fluttershy recognized as humans from Twilight’s descriptions, jumped out of the green thing, it dissipated behind them. One was shorter than the other and wore a yellow shirt. He was panting heavily and seemed to be clutching something in his claw (was that right?), no, Twilight had talked a little bit about those things when she returned from the mirror. Hands, right?
The taller one, clearly older and wearing a white lab coat, was the first to rise from his tumble. He quickly stowed away some kind of glowing green machine he was carrying.
“What are you doing, Rick?” The shorter yellow one shouted. “We need to keep moving. Didn’t you say those things could track your portal gun?”
“Yeah,” the older one said, stumbling over his words with small belches. “Yeah they can, Morty. That’s why we’re hiding out outside our own continuum. Cant track what’s not there anymore.”
“What? J-just where the hell are we then?”
The older one sighed. “Okay, Morty, now imagine that all of the realities you know are only a single piece of a vast tapestry of multi-realities, or a continuum. Like TV channels. Think of the shows on those TV channels like realities. All we had to do was go to another channel or continuum. Do you get it now?”
“Um, I guess,” The yellow one was about to place whatever was in his hands on the ground.
“Morty! Don’t do that, Morty! You let go of that and things could get pretty hairy.”
“So how long am I supposed to hold it?”
“Well, it’s probably already bonded to your DNA so… never.”
“What!?”
“Relax, relax, Morty. We’ll figure something out. Just gotta lay low for now.” The old one finally seemed to notice her and Discord. “Discord! Hey, how’s it going, man?”
“Hello, Rick,” Discord replied. “So you’re in trouble again I see?”
“Oh, you know, trans-dimensional ghost hounds, multi-matter crystal egg harvesting. It all gets pretty routine after the first try.”
“First!?” the yellow one shouted. “But you said you do this all the time!”
“Well other versions of me have done it successfully, I figured, y’know… So what are you doing here?”
Discord folded his arms. “Tonight’s our poker night?” He seemed to ask in way that would make Rick remember.
Fluttershy’s face became pale and she pulled Discord head over so she could whisper to him. “You didn’t say this was going to be gambling!” she hissed.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Discord waved a dismissing talon. “You’ll have fun.”
“Oh, shit! That’s right! I kinda just use this place in my down time to hide out. This is perfect! Great way to pass the time while stuff cools down.” He looked around briefly. “So… we’re the first ones here?”
“Apparently.”
“Rick, what the hell is going on?”
“Shut up, Morty, the adults are talking.”
All of sudden there was yet another sound, this time it was loud and accompanied by brilliant light. Even her sunhat couldn’t help Fluttershy block all the light that exploded from the corner of the room. The one called Morty was also covering his eyes but Rick and Discord seemed unfazed.
“Ugh, this guy’s always gotta be flashy.” Rick sighed as he pulled a flask from his coat and took a swig.
“Ha! I told you it’d work!” Standing in a new corner of the room was another older looking whatever. And yet again he was accompanied by a younger one. The older one wore a red turtle neck and brown jacket. He also had large square glasses that made him look much smarter than Rick. The younger one wore a white and blue hat with a picture of a pine tree. “Just because I deconstructed the old portal doesn’t mean I don’t have a few safer options.”
“That. Was. Amazing, Gruncle Ford!” The younger shouted as he jumped in place. “I mean I’ve time traveled before but that’s got nothing on this.”
“Yeah, well we’re probably going to be here for a few hours. These games tend to run long.”
He finally noticed the others in the room.
“Rick.” The older one said his name with an icy stare.
“Ford.” Rick seemed to burp his name.
“So good to see you Ford.” Discord chimed in, seemingly trying to ease the tension. “You know I was kind of expecting to see you here first.”
“Well, I would be here earlier if this one,” he pointed to Rick, “hadn’t pushed me into an unknown universe last time and disrupted all my chronal mapping. Do you know how long it took me to leave that dimension?”
“Oh, come on!” said Rick. “Building a transitional matrix is pretty simple no matter where you are.”
“The universe you sent me to was made entirely of PUDDING!”
“No way! That’s fantastic!” Rick let out a snort.
The older one, Fluttershy thought she caught the name Ford, sighed and turned back to Discord. “It is good to see you, but not him.”
“You’re living in the past, Ford.” Rick seemed about to start on another tirade when a single pair of scissors seemed to appear near where he was standing. The sharp tools sliced up the open air before them and the space seemed to tear apart much like Discord’s portal.
Out popped a short human with blonde hair and a blonde beard. He seemed to be dressed like one would expect a prince or a king. Behind him filing through portal was a taller yet younger human girl. Same colored hair but her ensemble was much more schizophrenic with a red devil hat and skirt.
“So sorry for the tardiness.” The princely human said. “But my daughter’s home for the weekend and my wife said that we should spend more time together.”
“Hi!” the girl waved energetically at the group.
“H- Hi,” the shorter human with Ford squeaked out with a blush.
“Uh, yeah, hi,” Morty replied.
“Hello,” Fluttershy murmured from behind Discord’s chair.
The devil hat girl caught Fluttershy in her sights and her eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh! You are the most adorable thing in the world!” Within the span of a second she was across the room hugging Fluttershy. “You know you remind me of my best friend! Only she’s just a floating head.”
Fluttershy’s irises shrank as she trembled in fear at the human girl hugging her. She looked as if she was about to cry when Discord snapped his fingers and the girl disappeared only to reappear hugging her father as affectionately as she was Fluttershy. She didn’t seem to notice the switch.
“And your hairs so flossy,” she added while rubbing her face in her father’s beard.
“Thank you, Star,” the man replied. “I do try to wash every day.”
The girl, Star, opened her eyes in horror and pushed back from her father, spitting out strands of blond hair that had gotten in her mouth.
“Woah! How the heck did he do that, Rick?” Morty asked pointing at Discord.
“Ugh,” Rick was now sitting in his own seat holding his head and swigging from his flask. “You just gotta know every little thing, don’t you, Morty? Gotta be the center of the room.”
“I just want facts, Rick!”
“Just… Just give me a minute. I’m nursing a splitting hangover here.”
“That’s not surprising,” Ford mumbled under his breath.
“What was that!?” Rick shot back, trying to stand from his seat. “You got something to say, you say it to my face, Pines!”
“No thanks. I think I’d rather watch this train wreck keep rolling.”
“Oh, that’s it I’m gonna-“ But Rick was cut off by the appearance of a very simplistic face appearing on the wall. It opened its mouth wide and two beings walked through, an older brown haired girl and a small white and gray spotted… well, Fluttershy didn’t know what it was.
“So you guys want me to come pick you up in a couple hours?” the weird face asked with a smile.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” the girl replied. “What do you think, Puppycat?”
The puppycat replied with an angry assortment of autotuned nonsense.
“I know you’re late but there’s no need to be rude!” the girl replied to the strange creature.
The face disappeared and the two turned to confront the group.
“Hi,” the brown haired girl said with a wave. “I’m Bee.”
Morty pulled at his yellow shirt and stammered nervously, “H- Hi. I- I- I’m Morty.”
“Nice to meet you, Morty,” Bee replied with a smile.
Rick was finally able to stand and clapped his hands. “Okay, looks like everyone’s here. Let’s get those introductions Morty’s been wanting so bad out of the way.”
Morty could not take his eyes off Bee. “Actually, Rick, I’m good.”
“No, no. God forbid we should all disappoint the will of Morty!”
Morty frowned and crossed his arms. “Okay, geez, you don’t have to be a jerk about it.”
Rick cleared his throat and pointed from Discord to Bee and Puppycat. “Alright, let’s go right to left.”
“Why right to left?” Morty asked.
“Jesus Christ, Morty! Do you gotta nitpick everything we do? Can you just give me this? Huh, can ya?”
“Okay, geez.”
“Thank you,” Rick pointed to Discord again, “That’s Discord, the immortal spirit of chaos.”
Discord took a bow and let his head roll on to the table, he picked it up and did the bow again with his head in his hands. “Charmed.” Discord noticed Fluttershy was hiding behind him and so he turned invisible for everyone to see her. “And this is my companion, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy noticed the others noticing her and dove underneath the table.
Rick moved to Ford. “And that’s Stanford Pines, dimensional castaway.”
“Ex-castaway!” Ford clarified. “I actually got back home a couple weeks ago and finally got to meet my grand-nephew and niece.” He smiled and tussled the younger boy with him’s hair.
“Hi,” he mumbled to the group. “I’m Dipper.”
“Nice to meet you Dipper!” the blonde girl shouted and reached a hand out to shake. “I’m Star.”
Dipper took the shake and laughed nervously, “HAhahhAHAhaHaHaHahahAAHAHhaHAHaHa- I’ve been laughing too long.”
“Okay,” Rick continued and pointed to the blonde short man. “If we’re done with the creepy kid, this guy is King Butterfly, Lord of the magical land of Mewny and the surrounding realms.”
King Butterfly took a bow. Fluttershy finally peeking her head out over the edge of the table.
“Oh, I simply adore butterflies,” she murmured.
Star pulled her attention away from Dipper and crossed her arms on the table putting her head in their crook. She lowered herself to be the same height as Fluttershy, “You have the most adorable voice!”
Fluttershy made a squeaking noise and hid back under the table.
Rick finally turned to Bee and her companion, “and that’s Puppycat.”
Morty seemed to wait a minute for Rick to go on but he didn’t. “So no moniker for him?”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure he’s just Puppycat,” Rick replied. “I think there was something about a space… pirate… prince… thing. And a curse. Honestly I wasn’t paying attention.”
Puppycat became indignant at this and made another autotuned outburst.
“Ooo,” Bee winced as she listened to Puppycat. “He really doesn’t like you.”
“Who does?” Morty whispered so only Bee could hear. The two shared a private laugh.
“Gentlemen,” Discord spoke up, “If were done showing off our dates, I believe it’s time to play.” He produced a red pack of cards from seemingly nowhere.
Puppycat mewed in excitement and produced a green visor. The rest of the group took their seats. Discord snapped his fingers and a wooden chair with a comfy cushion appeared next to him. He motioned it to Fluttershy.
“You’re welcome to join us,” he insisted.
Fluttershy crawled out from under the table, “Oh, um, I don’t really know how to play. Maybe if I just sit in on this first game, maybe.”
Discord shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
As she took her seat, Ford gave her a concerned look. “Discord, just how old is this girl?”
“Old enough to gamble that’s for sure!” Discord retorted with a laugh. “In fact, there’s this funny story she told me about the first time she-“
Fluttershy grabbed the draconequus’ mouth with her lips and ripped it off throwing it across the room in a huff. She turned her attention back to the group and giggle nervously. Discord frowned and snapped his fingers, his mouth returning. “That was a little bit harsh, don’t you think?” he chided.
Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “I think you’ll get over it.”
Hands slowly passed as the younger members of the group began to grow increasingly bored with their older partners’ game. Star had started laying on her stomach kicking her legs back and forth while she zapped a chair in the corner into different things over and over again with her star wand. Dipper approached hesitantly. “So, my uncle tells me you and I might be from the same continuum?”
Star stopped for a moment and sat up to shrug. “I guess. Ooh! Ooh! Do you come from a world of sentient tree lizards?”
“Uh…” Dipper rolled his eyes to the side searching for an answer. “Probably. I’m sure there’s at least one where I come from.”
“Cool. Cool.” An awkward silence followed.
Bee sat slacked in a chair behind Puppycat as he played. Her head was pointed at the crystalline ceiling as she moaned in dissatisfaction and boredom. Morty took notice and began to scoot his chair a little closer until he was side by side. “Hey, um, so is this your first time at an interdimensional poker game?”
Bee sat up and smiled at Morty. “Yeah,” she took a look at the various men and monsters surrounding them, “honestly I had no idea Puppycat had friends. He always seemed like that guy you see at work but never really engage or ask his name.”
“Oh, right,” Morty replied nervously, wiping some sweat from his brow. “Rick tends to bring me to places with a lot worse creatures. I’m actually kind of glad he spends some time with a relatively normal crowd.”
Rick immediately shot up from his seat, slapping his hand onto the table. “Straight Flush, motherfuckers!” He proceeded to grab his crotch and do a twirl before pulling out his portal gun and shooting it into the air with a Michael Jackson shout. A beer can fell from the opened portal and then closed, Rick catching it expertly. The others around the table groaned as Rick returned to his seat and took a sip.
“Well, normal for Rick anyway,” Morty finished.
Suddenly Star and Dipper appeared behind the two. Star leaning close between them to whisper in their ears. “Pssssst. We’re gonna split to have some fun.” She narrowed her eyes and smiled deviously. “You in?”
Morty frowned as he looked around the room. “But there’s no doors. Where are we supposed to go?”
“Welllllll,” Star slowly lifted up a pair of scissors between them. “My dad confiscated my trans-dimensional scissors, but he never said anything about using his own.”
Bee smiled in agreement, Morty slightly apprehensive. He looked to Dipper for help but the preteen was too lost in paying attention to Star. Morty sighed. “Fine, but we should at least invite Fluttershy.”
Star squealed in delight. “Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!”
While the others converged on an unoccupied side of the room, Star tiptoed over to Fluttershy’s side of the table. The Pegasus was immersed in the game, though still seemed a little bit drowsy as she began to yawn. Star took this moment to grab her from behind and muffle her mouth with her hand. Fluttershy’s sun hat fell on her chair as she was dragged away, the poker players not noticing.
“What are you doing?” Morty whispered harshly at Star. Star threw Dipper her scissors as she struggled to keep the Pegasus silent.
“Go! Go! Just go!” she whisper shouted. Dipper took the scissors and cut along the air just as he’d seen King Butterfly do. A portal opened up and the four teenagers walked through dragging a resistant Pegasus with them. The portal closed with a bloop sound which made Puppycat look up from his cards. He glanced around the room before uttering an incomprehensible melodic word as he returned to his game.
Fluttershy kicked at Star causing the princess to topple over out of the portal and make the rest of the teens fall as they exited. They all landed on a hard wood floor in a pile as the portal closed behind them. Morty rubbed his head, careful not to let go of the small egg he held. “Ow! Star, what the hell? I said ask her to join us, not force her! You’re just as bad as Rick!”
Dipper stood up. “Hey, don’t talk to her like that!”
Morty followed. “Or you’re gonna do what short stuff?” Morty glared down at Dipper while he in turn glared up at him.
“Uh, guys, where is Fluttershy?” Bee asked as she brushed sand off her skirt. “And for that matter where are we?”
Star groaned as she held her leg and attempted to stand. Fluttershy had kicked her pretty hard. She scanned the room they were in. To the right was a small couch with a higher level above it reached by a ladder, there was some kind of bed there with children’s toys. To the left was a kitchenette area with a counter. In front of them was a screen door and set of windows, the outside a bright blue. Star walked forward and glanced outside. Down a trail of displaced wooden steps was a small beach.
Her compatriots exclaimed surprise with a chorus of woahs from behind her. Star turned and saw that behind them was some kind of giant pedestal set in front of an ancient looking door. Star walked back to her group as she too let out a woah. Suddenly an icon above the door turned pink and the solid door seemed to split open. Star and the others scrambled out of sight, ducking behind the kitchen counter. Fluttershy was there waiting for them, huddled in the corner.
“What’s going on?” she breathed as Morty held a hand over her mouth and gave her a shush. Voices came from the door.
“You can come here to train whenever you want, Connie,” the voice of a young boy said. “I’ll tell Room to do anything you ask.”
“Thanks, Steven,” a young female voice replied. “Pearl has me going pretty hard, though. Do you mind if I sometimes use the room to relax?”
“Hey, it’s what I do!” the young boy replied.
Bee pursed her lips and stared at Star. “So was that supposed to take us into the middle of someone’s house?”
Star frowned. “I don’t know! I had it set for us to go to someplace awesome.”
Dipper scratched his chin. “Maybe it’s malfunctioning because of the different continuities?”
Star’s eyes glazed over as a memory played in the back of her head.
KING BUTTERFLY: Now, sweetheart, are you listening?
STAR: (playing with an Earth game boy not paying attention) Yeah…
KING BUTTERFLY: Good, because this is truly important. When using your scissors-
STAR: Scissors…
KING BUTTERFLY: When using them, if you ever get caught in another continuity of reality, here is what you do-
STAR: Conti- Real… Something…
KING BUTTERFLY: Star! This is important!
STAR: No, I got it…
The memory faded and Star’s eyes unglazed. “Oops. This is probably all my fault.”
“We know that!” Morty shouted. “That was ten minutes ago! We were already found!”
Their positions had changed with Morty, Dipper, Bee and Star now pinned against the other side of the kitchen counter by an angry pink lion while an Indian girl gently brushed Fluttershy’s mane on the couch. A young boy with black hair and a pink shirt sat next to her.
“So you say they just grabbed you and pulled you into the portal? That’s terrible!” the Indian girl looked shocked.
Fluttershy nodded with a smile as the girl continued to brush. “Oh, they’re not bad ponies. Besides I got to meet you two and Lion. By the way you four don’t have to be so scared.” Lion walked back to Fluttershy as the Pegasus placed a hoof under its chin and scratched. “He’s just a big puttytat.” Lion growled with pleasure as he rolled over on his stomach and Fluttershy and the girl started rubbing his belly.
“Wow, Lion’s never this fond of anyone he’s first met,” the black haired boy exclaimed.
Morty, Dipper, Bee, and Star left the kitchen area and walked toward the group. Dipper scratched the back of his head. “Sorry we kind of came in uninvited.”
The boy waved a hand in dismissal. “That’s cool. For a secret base of ancient gem creatures it’s not very well fortified anyway. I’m Steven!”
The girl looked up and presented herself. “And I’m Connie.”
“Nice to meet you,” Bee said. “I’m Bee. That’s Morty, Dipper and Star.”
Connie raised an eyebrow at the group and Fluttershy. “So you guys are all from different dimensions?”
“Yeah,” Morty lamented. “And we should probably get back before we mess anything else up. Star, can you get that thing to work?”
Star shook the scissors in her hand. “I don’t know, they just don’t seem to want to open.” She grit her teeth as she tried to pry the blades open with both arms. She sagged from the attempt dejectedly.
“Great,” Morty moaned. “Looks like were stuck here.”
“Not necessarily,” Steven suggested with a sly smile. He ran over to the large pedestal and stood at the center. “This is the Gem’s warpgate. It can take you anywhere!”
“Anywhere?” Dipper asked.
Fluttersy followed Connie as she approached Steven. “Steven, I’m not sure that thing can take them to another universe.”
Steven smiled innocently. “Won’t know unless we try!”
The four teens shrugged and headed to stand on the pedestal, Star still prying at her scissors. Fluttershy was the only one hesitant. “Um, I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I’m with Fluttershy,” Connie agreed. “Who knows where that will take you? Do you even have a way back?”
Steven stood in the center of the group. “Everything will be fine, Connie. These things always lead to another warpgate. I’ll just use the other to bring us all home if this doesn’t work.”
Fluttershy frowned but was inevitably taken in by Steven’s smile. “Okay, I guess.” She stepped forward until she was on the pedestal as well. “Bye, Connie.”
“Bye, Fluttershy.” She waved a friendly goodbye. “Steven you take care of her.”
“I’ll be back before you know it!” he replied, a strong light beginning to envelop them all.
Suddenly Star managed to open her scissors with a large tug. “Ha ha! Yes! Guys look I-” But she was cut off as she raised the open scissors through the air and they tore a hole in the teleporting light around them. The world suddenly shifted as reality warped and folded around them. The group let out a scream of panic before disappearing in a bright powerful flash.
Connie fell backwards onto her rear and struggled to her feet. “Steven? Steven?” she shouted but no answer came. Besides Lion and herself, the bungalow was empty.
Discord picked up his new hand with a grimace. It was a good hand but for some reason every good hand he had was countered by the entire table folding. The spirit of chaos had not been having the luckiest of streaks tonight and he was beginning to get grumpy. All the other poker players seemed to be in on some kind of tell the draconequus had. With a squinty suspicious eyes he pushed a portion of his pot into the center. “I call.”
“I fold,” they all chorused in unison, throwing down their cards.
“Oh come on!” Discord shouted. “What’s holding you all back?”
Ford smirked and chuckled as he pointed behind Discord. He looked back and saw his tail had turned into a flamenco dancer doing the chacha, along with confetti. “Hmm,” Discord grumbled. “I should probably have that looked at.”
Suddenly the wall opened up with a “schwick” and a small round door appeared, a gem embedded above the entrance. All the poker players turned to see three women, one tall and red with a square hairstyle and glasses, one tall, white and slender and the third short stocky and purple. They didn’t seem to notice the five as they entered. “I’m telling you the dimensional mappers sensed a shift in this room,” the white one said worriedly.
The red one spoke next. “This room hasn’t been used in…” she trailed off as all three finally noticed the five. Their eyes went wide.
“Um, hello ladies,” King Butterfly said nervously.
“Gems! Attack formation!” the red one called out. Suddenly the three women summoned weapons from the gems on their chests and got into battle stances.
“Now just hold on a second,” Ford shouted. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding!”
The women jumped in the air and lunged at them. Discord was about to snap his fingers to stop it but Rick moved quicker pulling out his portal gun. “Relax, I got this.”
Rick shot a portal in front of the three women and they disappeared into the swirling green vortex before it disappeared. After a moment of stunned silence Rick took a swig from the bottle in his coat. Ford turned on him in a rage. “What the hell was that? They were confused, we could have had a dialogue! Just where did you send them?”
“Relax, Broseph,” Rick retorted and looked at his watch. “Three. Two. One…” After a moment the ceiling opened up with the green vortex once more and the three women came falling out onto the poker table. “Simple loop. You willing to listen to reason now?” The white women glared at Rick from under her purple friend and grimaced as she nodded.
A few minutes later…
“So you’re all from other dimensions and you come to our basement every year to play poker?” the short purple called Amethyst asked. The poker players all nodded. “Sweet.”
“I like your attitude,” Discord chuckled.
“This is insane!” the white one called Pearl shouted. “This has been going on under our noses for years and we never discovered it?”
“We’re all pretty safe with cleaning our interdimensional tracks,” Ford replied. “It’s not too unbelievable… for something as unbelievable as this.”
“What I’m concerned about is why we detected you now?” the big red woman called Garnet asked.
“No clue, my good woman,” King Butterfly chuckled. “I mean we’re all still here.”
Puppycat made an incomprehensible set of noises and all turned to him. “The kids are gone!?” they all shouted.
“But… but how could they leave without…” King Butterfly trailed off as he checked his pockets and pulled them out to demonstrate how empty they were. His eyes went deadpan. “Star.”
“So the kids must have taken your dimensional scissors,” Ford surmised. “They could be anywhere then!”
“Actually, no,” Butterfly replied. “Besides going directly home to Mewny, those scissors can’t properly work outside of our continuity. I tried telling Star this but she didn’t listen again. The farthest those scissors could get her would be somewhere in this dimension.”
“This dimension, hmm?” Garnet frowned and turned to the door. “Come on, girls. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“Hold on!” Discord shouted as he flew to catch up with them. “We’ll come with you.”
The rest left the room with Rick being the last. “Oh come on, guys! Really? I had a killer hand!”
After a little bit of walking the group ended up in a room that looked like a mishmash of an ancient temple and a beach bungalow. A young girl paced around worriedly with a large pink lion as she spotted them enter. “Pearl! Garnet! Amethyst!”
“Connie?” Pearl asked. “What happened?”
“It… It was Steven,” Connie sputtered. “There were these four kids and a pony that came here and he wanted to take them home so-”
Discord shot in front of her and narrowed his eyes. “Did you say a pony?”
Connie was slightly surprised by Discord’s presence but she had seen worse. “Y- Yeah. Steven tried to take them home through the warpgate, but something went wrong.”
Garnet put her hand on the warpgate and frowned. “It seems Steven and the others have been cast into the multiverse.”
“A multiverse,” Rick muttered under his breath.
“We’ve got to follow them!” Pearl shouted earnestly.
“How?” Ford asked. “We have no way of knowing just what dimension they went to!”
“I should be able to sense Fluttershy if she’s in a world,” Discord said confidently.
“Relax mi amigos,” Rick said as he pushed his way to the front and held out his portal gun. “I’ve got the ticket to finding our little bastards right here.”
Amethyst snickered. “You guys are a seriously weird group.”
“We’re coming with you,” Garnet insisted and Pearl nodded her head in agreement.
“Fine, whatever,” Rick replied with an eye roll and began to set his portal gun. “Let’s try the closest parallel dimension.” He blasted a green glowing portal into the air and ushered everyone inside.
Garnet turned to Connie and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Connie, you stay here.”
“But if Steven’s in danger then I-”
“Please, Connie,” Garnet insisted again. “This could get dangerous.”
Connie lowered her head in a defeated posture and went over to Lion. “Alright, but be safe.”
“We will,” Garnet replied with a smile.
“I won’t,” Amethyst chuckled as she entered the portal.
Rick smirked as she passed through. “I’m beginning to like this girl. Makes a nice change for me to not be around a bunch of sticks in the mud.” He passed through as well followed by a grumpy Ford and King Butterfly with Discord following up the rear.
“After you, ladies,” he said with a wink.
Pearl smiled as she walked past him, followed by Garnet. “Well, good to know someone in this group has some dignity.” Discord followed everyone else afterwards and the portal closed behind them.
All six of the young dimension hoppers fell from the sky with a loud scream that ended abruptly as they hit the pavement in a big pile. Bee was the first to raise his head and let out a moan. “What the heck was that?”
“It’s never done that before,” Steven muttered from underneath Fluttershy.
“That’s probably because Star cut a hole in space just as we were teleporting!” Morty shouted from under Star.
“Hey!” Dipper shouted back. “Don’t blame her. There could have been a number of reasons the warpgate didn’t work.”
“Everything did kind of seem to go wrong when she used the scissors,” Fluttershy spoke up, immediately grabbing her mouth in embarrassment for speaking out.
“Et tu, Fluttershy?” Star asked.
“Okay, first of all, everyone get off!” Morty shouted. The group all got to their feet and hooves and dusted themselves off. Morty took a look around and raised an eyebrow. “Huh, anyone know where we are?”
The surrounding was like a normal suburban street with houses lining the road. However something just felt… off. Like the whole world had suddenly added an extra dimension and they now felt out of place.
“Anyone know why the houses look like models?” Bee said. “Or why I suddenly feel very two-dimensional.”
“Look at it like this,” a young voice spoke up from behind them. “Now all your animation styles will kind of fit in.”
The group turned to the new voice and were surprised to find a small blue anthropomorphic cat in a gray sweater. Dipper’s eyes went deadpan. “Everyone else sees the talking cat, right?”
“Yup.” “Uh huh.” “So cute!” “Cool!”
“Dude, if this weirds you out, you haven’t been on enough adventures.” Morty stepped back and examined the cat. “So I’m guessing this is a world of anthropomorphic animals?” Suddenly a gray puppet with glasses and a big nose drove by. “Or puppets?” Then a bus full of odd looking… well everything from animals to fruits to various colors with hands and feet walked out with a cyclops driving the bus. It sped away and Morty was left a little speechless. “Um…”
The cat leaned against his leg with smirk and looked at his nails nonchalantly. “Yeah, it’s a little confusing at first but once you get into a few episodes you’ll start to get the joke.”
“Hey Gumball!” came another voice, this one slightly more high pitched. The group stopped and stared once more as a goldfish with legs walked up to them, talking to the cat. “Did you finish your… Oh!” he looked to the group with surprise and began to whisper to the cat he’d called Gumball. “We’re doing that already?”
“Yeah!” Gumball replied in a hushed tone. “I sent you the script like two weeks ago.”
“I’ve been busy,” the fish hissed back. “Plus I lost the script.”
Gumball sighed. “Fine, just take mine.” He pulled a script from seemingly nowhere that had the title, “Discord’s Poker Night”. “Read the unhighlighted lines.”
The fish skimmed the pages with a mumble and finally found the page he was looking for. He began to read in a very unrehearsed tone with weird inflections on certain words. “Oh… Gumball… Who ARE these people here? Motion to others. Dipper. What the heck is going on?”
“What the heck is going on?” Dipper shouted at the same time the fish said it. He looked confused at them before Gumball pulled the script away from the fish and rubbed his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose with a sigh.
“You know what? Let’s just do a little improv,” he chuckled and turned back to them, sticking out his hand for a friendly shake towards Fluttershy. “Hi there, Gumball Watterson, nice to meet you.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy replied shyly. “Um, it’s nice to meet you too.” She reached a hoof out which Gumball too and leaned in to kiss it. Fluttershy giggled and blushed with embarrassment.
“Aaaaalright, now even I think it’s getting weird,” Morty muttered.
“How do we get home now, Steven?” Bee asked the younger boy.
“I’m not sure,” Steven replied. “I’ve never been here before… Where is here anyway?”
“Welcome to Elmore!” The group all jumped back in surprise as suddenly what seemed like the entire population of the town popped into existence from out of sight just to shout and then disappeared back.
“I like this place,” Star chuckled with a big grin.
The walking fish suddenly seemed to notice Star and sauntered up to her, slicking his nonexistent hair back. “So… I don’t think I caught your name?”
“I’m Star Butterfly,” she replied and held out her hand only for the fish to take it and kiss it like Gumball with Fluttershy.
Dipper stepped in between the two and pushed them away. “Ooookay, I agree with Morty now. Let’s find a way out of here.” He turned to Star. “Do your scissors still work?” Star pulled out her dimensional scissors and snipped them a couple times in the air. She smiled and gave a nod. “Alright, then let’s go!”
Star snipped a hole in the air and the group began to walk through, but Gumball stopped them. “Wait!” he shouted. The group turned to face him with quizzical expressions. The anthropomorphic cat’s face looked determined and strong like a german action star, then the next second it changed to have enormously wet eyes with a blubbering lip. “Take me with you?”
“That’s it. I’m out of here,” Morty said and pushed everyone in front of him through the portal. It closed with a zipping sound and Gumball returned his face to normal, looking over his shoulder at Darwin the goldfish.
“Eh, couldn’t have hurt to try. Right, Darwin? …Darwin?”
The group reappeared on a grassy hill, all of them falling once more into an enormous dogpile. Dipper popped his head out from under Steven. “Why does this keep happening?!”
“Maybe because someone pushed us all this time,” Star smirked.
They all gradually pulled themselves up and Morty looked at Star with a glare. “You’re blaming me for stuff now? This is all your fault in the first place. I- I mean I’ve dealt with some pretty irresponsible people but you… Actually you know what you probably wouldn’t even crack the top ten.”
“Ooh! Is that a challenge?” Star chuckled deviously.
Morty growled under his breath and, in a rage, threw the small crystalline thing in his hand. Star and the others ducked as it wizzed above their heads and fell on the other side of the hill they were on. “Uh oh,” Morty muttered with wide eyes.
They all looked toward the place where the crystal had landed and saw a beam of light shoot out in all directions. Morty slowly began to back away and then began running. Fluttershy saw all this and began to run after him followed by the others. “Just what the heck is going on?” Bee asked as they ran for their lives.
“I’ve learned the hard way that when you disobey Rick you should just run,” Morty huffed as he sprinted. Suddenly the light from the crystal subsided and an undefinable creature with six limbs and eight mouths roared into the air, turning towards Morty.
Bee looked back at the giant monster and then back to Morty. “Good call.”
“So you guys come here often?” Fluttershy, Star and Steven were surprised as they found the walking goldfish from before running along with them.
“What are you doing here?” asked Steven. The creature roared again as its incomprehensible physiology began to move toward them. “You know what, never mind!”
“Hold on,” Fluttershy shouted as she shot into the air and looked for a safe place for them to go. This world looked odd with a clearly defined series of mountains covered in ice and one covered in fire. But the weirdest place looked to be a giant pink castle. The good news was that it looked fortified. “Everypony go that way!” Fluttershy shouted down.
“Everypony?” Dipper whispered.
“I think it’s cute,” Star replied.
“Oh yeah! Me too. Haha.”
As the seven companions cleared another hill the walled city finally came into focus. Everyone except Steven kept on running as he looked up in amazement. “Woah! Giant gumball machines!” The creature behind them roared. “Oh, right,” he said as he began to run again.
“Yo, Ice! Throw me over a sammich!” Grizz shouted. Ice Bear prepared the sammich expertly and tossed it over his shoulder to which Grizz barely caught it. “Thanks, bro.” He took a bite an hummed in delight.
“Can you guys keep it down?” Panda yelled. “I need complete and utter silence if I’m going to be the three hundred and thirty third caller.” He had been sitting on the sofa dialing a number to a radio station all day.
“Come on, Panda,” Grizz muttered. “You seriously think they count all the way up to three hundred. It’s probably some random number and they just choose some pretty girl to get the prize. What’s the odds of winning something like that?”
Suddenly a large green swirling vortex opened up in the home of the bears. Grizz flipped over in his seat from shock while Ice Bear took up a defensive stance in his kitchen apron. Panda didn’t seem to notice what was going on from the living room. Eight figures stepped into the den and looked around. “Well, they’re not here either,” a large dragon-horse-goat looking thing said. He bowed his head to the bears in the kitchen. “Sorry to bother you, we’ll be out of your way soon.”
“No, luck again, huh?” an old man in a brown jacket and glasses said. “Well, at least we don’t have to deal with that crazy grandpa guy.”
“I thought he said he was an uncle?” a tall woman in white said.
“Whatever he was, he was fun,” a shorter purple woman giggled.
“Totes malotes,” an old man in a white lab coat agreed with a fist bump. “Reminds me of a pal I have called Squanchy.”
“Well let’s get going then,” a taller woman in red said seriously.
“Hold on!” a small man with a blonde beard shouted. “I need to *ahem* relieve myself first. All that soda Uncle Grandpa made us drink is going straight to my-”
“Enough!” everyone shouted. The dragon thing turned to Grizz.
“Pardon, but might we use your bathroom?” he asked. Grizz unflinchingly and wide eyed pointed to the hallway. “Thank you.”
The short guy ran to the bathroom and locked himself in. Then the group all stood there in awkward silence for a few moments. “Boooorrrring!” the purple woman said.
“Agreed,” the old guy in the labcoat said and pulled out a gun which created another swirling green vortex. “We’re going ahead. Catch up when you want. The portal should close automatically after eight people go through it.” He and the woman walked through.
“Ugh,” the white woman groaned as she followed them through. “Amethyst!”
“Sorry for the inconvenience,” the dragon thing said as he and the other old guy went through.
The red woman walked to the portal as well. “You have a lovely home,” she commented and disappeared. Then to their surprise they saw a dog/cat thing walk up to the portal as well, turning to them for a brief moment and uttering some strange nonsense before jumping in to follow.
“Uuuuuuh,” Grizz wondered aloud as he tried to comprehend what just happened. “That was weird.”
“Ice Bear thinks that was wack,” Ice Bear replied coolly.
Grizz turned to him from the floor. “Naw, man. That was way more weird than wack.”
“That was a wack attack,” Ice Bear reiterated.
“I don’t know,” Grizz said as he scratched his chin. “What do you think, Panda? …Panda?” Suddenly the swirling sounds of the vortex disappeared and they turned to see the portal gone. A flush from their bathroom followed and the short blonde man walked out looking relieved.
“I must say you have quite a nice air freshener in there. I simply must…” he stopped short as he noticed all his companions gone with the two bears looking at him baffled. “Uh, hmm. Well do the two of you know any games? Because this might take a while to resolve.”
“Guys!” Panda shouted. “I’m not getting reception! I’m not getting…” he stopped as he noticed the group around him.
Ford rubbed his temples as he saw the talking panda come through and the portal close. “Great! Now we’ve got to go back for Butterfly.”
“Well, we’ll have to find Rick soon anyway because it doesn’t look like Fluttershy is here either,” Discord muttered.
“Amethyst!” Pearl shouted out into the grassy area they had just appeared in. “Where did she go?”
Puppycat pointed to a house a couple hundred yards away and made an incomprehensible noise. “I think he’s saying there over there,” Garnet translated. Puppycat eyed her and gave an incomprehensible gesture before walking away.
“What do you suppose that meant?” Pearl asked.
“Nothing good,” Ford muttered as he passed the two women.
Panda watched as the adults walked off into the distance without him. “W- Wait! Do you guys think there might be some bars over there?”
The six of them crested over the hill and looked down to see a blue paneled two story house. In the drive way was a golf cart and on top of the golf cart were a large blue jay and a raccoon. Rick and Amethyst sat against the cart on the ground, their eyes slightly squinted as they giggled to themselves. “Oh dear lord,” Ford murmured as he approached them. “What in god’s name are you doing!?”
Rick turned to Ford and tried to get to his feet, failing several times. “Woah! Ford! You’re just… just in time. Me and m’girl Amethyst met up with these two great guys.” He pointed to the bluejay and raccoon on the roof. “Meet Mordecai and Rigby.”
“’Sup,” Rigby said with a snicker, his eyes also slightly out of focus.
Mordecai laughed out loud and slapped his knee. “Good one dude!”
“What?” Rigby asked.
“You’re so funny, dude,” Mordecai smiled dreamily.
“Man, everything’s funny on this shit,” Amethyst replied.
“Amethyst!” Pearl shouted. “Language!”
“Oh come on,” Amethyst replied. “Rick gets to swear.”
Ford looked them all over with a concerned glare. He turned on Rick. “Are you all high?”
“Just a little… Zytonium Crystal,” Rick replied wearily, already feeling the comedown. “No big.”
“Are you insane!?” Ford shouted.
“Mordecai and Rigby!” came another voice. The group looked up to see a walking talking gumball machine coming out of the house with a clipboard. “Sleeping on the job again?”
Rigby got up and rubbed his head. “W- What?”
Mordecai rubbed his head forlornly as well but tried to talk to their boss. “Benson, we were just-”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” Benson shouted back. “You’re fired!”
“Hold on!” Rick yelled and stepped between the employees and their boss. “Now I know that it’s wrong to get high on the job, but can you really blame someone for a sin your about to commit?”
“What are you talking about? Who are you people?” Benson shouted but was interrupted by Rick shoving a handkerchief full of pink shining dust into his face. Benson struggled and coughed but soon his body went limp and his eyes went wide. Rick took the handkerchief from his face and Benson stood there for a moment before dropping his clipboard.
“Dude, what did you do?” Rigby shouted.
“Uh, Benson?” Mordecai asked.
Benson looked down at the ground and wobbled a bit before bursting into a fit of giggles. “You ever notice how legs are like long arms?”
“Oh this is going to be fun,” Rick chuckled. Suddenly he was pulled by his labcoat and dragged in front of Discord’s face, who wasn’t at all pleased.
“You know, Rick, I’ve been patient with you. I’ve put up with your calamitous attitude because it reminded me of old times.” The sky began to grow dark as he continued to talk. “You and I used to be exactly alike but then I did something you never could even consider. I grew up. You could have grown up too. You have a family with a grandson that semi-respects you and yet you throw it away any chance you get. You consistently self-sabotage your own happiness. I get it. I used to be the exact same way. Now I’m not going to give you the same kind of spiel I had. Friendship is magic and all that jazz. You know why? Because I know it wouldn’t work on you. You know why I know? Because it didn’t work on me. The only thing that got through this horn headed skull was the complete and utter loss of those powers that made me special. So what should I do with you, Rick, in order for us to get back on track? Should I scramble your brain and just take your portal gun? Should I turn you into a limbless amorphous mound that can’t talk and we have to drag around? Because that’s what it’s looking like I need to do in order for you to get your head on straight. You may not care what happens to your grandson but that pony is in my care and I will not go back on a promise!” By the time he was done the sky had become completely black and Discord’s usual cheerful expression had turned grim.
“Woah,” Panda whispered.
“Wow,” Pearl said with a slight blush.
Ford smiled at Discord and looked to Rick who seemed to have no noticeable reaction to Discord’s tirade. “So what do you have to say for yourself, Rick?”
Rick paused for a moment as his eyes darted back and forth, weighing his options. “Nah, it’d probably just be easier to go along with your boring plan.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out a radar device. “Tell you what, let’s just use the Multi-Matter Crystal tracker to find where Morty is and we’ll find the others.”
Ford and Discord looked at Rick for along moment. “Why would Morty have a Multi-Matter Crystal?” Ford asked through strained teeth.
“Because it’s genetically coded to his hand,” Rick replied as he fiddled with the radar.
“It’s an egg!?” Ford shouted. “And you gave it to your grandson?”
“Do you want this done or not?” Rick asked.
Discord increased his squeeze on Rick. “You had this the whole time?”
Rick eyed Discord who finally relented and let go of him. “Alright,” Rick said. “Now we just need to… uh oh.”
“What uh oh?” Amethyst asked.
Rick fiddled with the radar. “Well either Morty just died or he let go of the egg cause I’m pretty sure it hatched.”
“Oh no!” everyone gasped.
Panda looked around with weary eyes. “I’m so confused!”
“We’d better get a move on,” Rick said as he pulled out his portal gun and homed in on the targeted dimension. “Mordecai, Rigby, nice knowing you.”
“Yeah, uh, how long do you think Benson is gonna be like this?” Mordecai asked concerned. Benson had now wandered off the side of the road and laid his head on the ground to allow ants to crawl on his face.
“Give him an hour,” Rick replied and jumped through the portal. Within a second he stuck his head back out. “If he stays like that any longer consult your nearest Fragnilfer.”
The rest of them ran into the portal, Panda being the last as he didn’t seem to know where else to go. Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other in confusion as the portal disappeared. “So what now?” Rigby asked.
“I guess we have to watch Benson,” Mordecai replied. “… Benson?”
The kids were running toward the big pink kingdom in the distance until a large green vortex opened up before them and the adults stepped out. “Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst!” Steven shouted.
“Steven!” Pearl shouted back as she caught sight of a giant undefinable creature chasing after them. “What the heck is that?”
“Aw, so you can swear but I can’t,” Amethyst pouted.
“Heck is not a swear,” Pearl replied.
The kids all ran into the arms of their respective partners, Bee having to pick up Puppycat. Fluttershy flew right into Discord’s claws and began to cry she was so happy to see him. “It’s alright. Sorry about all this,” he said.
Star looked around with a puzzled look. “Uh, where’s my dad?”
Ford looked back to her. “Yeah, we’re probably going to have to make a few stops on the way back.” The creature roared and he turned to Rick. “Take us home. Now!”
“Hold your horses,” Rick said as he pulled out his portal gun. Suddenly a similar green vortex popped into existence and a vicious looking transparent dog monster jumped out and swatted the gun from his hands.
Morty’s eyes widened as everyone began to step back in caution as more dog monsters appeared similarly. “Rick! Aren’t these the ghost hounds that were chasing us for the crystal?”
“Yeah,” Rick replied.
“So what are they doing here? I thought you said they couldn’t follow us?”
Rick rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, Morty. You think I have all the answers?”
“Well, um…”
“Y- You think I’m just going to be able to poop out an answer for you right on the fly. Every question Morty asks deserves an answer!”
“Okay, fine, geez. You don’t have to be a dick about it.”
“No, no, Morty. Here I go with an explanation directly from my ass. You know how I said that multi reality was like TV channels? Well maybe the channel we’re from is actually just the same channel as this one only it changes to appeal to more mature audiences?”
“How does that work into multiversal theory?” Ford asked.
“Shut the fuck up, Ford!” Rick shouted back. “My grandson and I are having a discussion.”
The ghost hounds all began to approach the group as the horrible abomination behind them came closer. Discord could feel Fluttershy press her head against his chest as she trembled in fear. He patted her mane and smiled. “It’s alright. Everything’s going to be alright.”
Suddenly a loud noise came from behind them. They all turned to see a giant gumball machine step towards the scene and blast a wave of sonic energy at the creatures. The ghost hounds began to writhe in agony while the crystal monster screamed and thrashed as it shrank down. “Is that me?” came a voice from behind them.
Ford turned to see Benson standing behind them staring up at the giant gumball warrior, his eyes still a little unfocused. “Oh come on, another one?” he shouted exasperatedly.
Panda stood next to Benson, his head pointed down toward his phone. He smiled as he looked up at everyone. “Hey guys! You won’t believe this, but I actually have bars here!”
The sound coming from the gumball warrior continued to grow in power until the creature disappeared and the hounds created portals to run away. The group stood in stunned silence as they saw a figure descend from the warrior’s shoulder on a majestic swan. She was pink and had hair that looked like taffy. She looked absolutely furious. “Who are you and who brought a Multi-Matter Crystal here?”
Everyone including Morty pointed a finger at Rick. Rick rolled his eyes. “And you wonder why I don’t like people.”
Princess Bubblegum stood in her laboratory with her thirteen guests. She was fiddling with a large device with lots of cathodes and diodes. “This ought to send most of you back to your own biz,” she said. She turned a dial and the middle of the machine glowed a dark blackish purple. “Alright, gumball guy goes first.”
Panda ushered Benson to the machine, his pupils still quite dilated as he pushed the wayward parka manager into the portal. PB turned the dial once more and it changed to look like the night sky with stars. “Goldfish goes next.”
Darwin got up and kissed Star’s hand once more. “Arrive-a-dirty, my sweet. Parting is such sweet sorrow.” He walked to the portal with his back turned, facing Star. Dipper took this chance to stick his leg out and trip the fish as he fell backward into the portal.
PB changed the settings again and the portal turned a sky blue. “Panda, get going.”
“Alright,” Panda muttered, taking one last look at his phone and swiping through some things. “Seriously though, what kind of internet service do you have here because its faster than mine back home?”
“Just go!” Bubblegum shouted. Panda jumped through the portal.
PB set the dial one more time and the portal turned a cloudy pink. “Final stop, everyone get out.”
The group slowly trudged through the portal. Bubblegum stared at Rick as he walked past her and made a motion to her eyes and his to let him know she was watching him. Rick grunted and left. Last to leave was Discord who turned to Princess Bubblegum. “I’d just like to thank you for the help. I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to Fluttershy.”
“Yeah, yeah,” PB replied with a dismissive wave. Once Discord was finally gone, PB turned off the portal and turned on a different machine. A screen flipped on and Bubblegum spoke into a microphone. “Dimensional transmission, Channel H-U-B 36.”
Suddenly a picture of a small man in a black shirt with the word “jerk” on it appeared. He was brushing his teeth and didn’t seem to be wearing any pants. He looked at her and began to shout in a panic. “Oh! Sorry!” Bubblegum shouted back in embarrassment before cutting the feed.
Back in his own world the little man in the “jerk” shirt took a sledge hammer that he so obviously kept in his bathroom and smashed his mirror. Then he pulled out a cell phone and hit a speed dial. “Chris!” he shouted. “Come quick! I’ve got pink girls in my mirror again!”
“Hmmmmmm,” Pinkie hummed thoughtfully.
“What is it, goofball?” Dan asked with rolled eyes as they sat watching TV.
“I don’t know,” Pinkie muttered. “It just feels like someone went out of their way to make a hard to understand joke about us.”
Dan turned away from the TV and raised an eyebrow. “Okay… Was it funny?”
Pinkie thought for a moment. “Nah, don’t think so.”
Dan shrugged and returned to watching TV.
Bubblegum shook her head to get the image of what she’d seen out of her mind. “I always forget if its 36 or 63. Channel H-U-B 63.”
The screen flickered and changed again. This time a blue alicorn with a crown appeared. She had a game controller in her hooves and her eyes went wide as Bubblegum appeared. “Oh come on! I was just about to defeat Majora!”
“Hey, Luna,” Bubblegum said. “Can you put Celestia on?”
Luna grumbled and got up from her chair. “Tia! It’s for you!”
Celestia walked up to the screen and smiled. “Oh, Bubblegum! Is tonight our poker game?”
PB shook her head. “Naw. Just letting you know that I got a visit from one of yours.”
Celestia placed a hoof on her forehead and sighed. “That’s probably Discord. Sorry you had to get involved in that.”
“No probs,” Bubblegum replied. “It’s what a sista does for anotha sista.” The two lifted their arm and hoof respectively and thumped their chest.
“Princesses foreva!” they both said.
Discord sat with Fluttershy in the Crystal Gem’s bungalow while the rest of the group said their goodbyes. Morty hesitantly approached Bee. “So, um, I just wanted to say that it was nice meeting you.”
“It was cool meeting you too, Morty,” Bee smiled back and hugged him. Morty stifled a small gasp and tried to hold his breath until she let go. Puppycat made a weird noise from the wall where the same simple face appeared to take them home.
“He says to get a move on,” the face said.
“I know what he said,” Bee replied angrily. “Bye, Morty.”
“Bye Bye,” Morty replied dreamily as she walked over to Puppycat and through the face’s mouth. Puppycat gave one last glance back at Morty before giving him what looked like a thumbs up. “Oh, uh, thanks?” Puppycat then disappeared behind the face and it closed its mouth.
“You know in several realities that’s the same as a screw you,” the face said to him before disappearing.
Morty glared at the spot they disappeared to and then gave his own thumbs up.
After Rick and Morty had left, Ford had finally gotten his own portal to work. “Come on, Dipper. We’ve got to get back.”
“Uh, yeah, Gruncle Ford,” Dipper replied. “Just a sec.” He ran over to where Star was loitering with Connie and stopped in front of her. He clumsily took off his hat and thumbed it nervously. “I just wanted to thank you for the little adventure we had.”
Star smiled. “What’s a little dimension hopping without a little adventure, I say.”
“Haha, yeah.” There was an awkward silence before between the two as Dipper tried to think of something to say. Finally he blurted something out. “You know I wanted-”
He was stopped as Star leaned down and planted a kiss on his forehead. Dipper’s eyes went wide as she giggled at him. Ford appeared behind the catatonic preteen and began to drag him off. “Come on, loverboy. You can work on your raging hormones at home.” Dipper could only allow his uncle to drag him as he feebly lifted a hand and made a gesture next to his ear that said “call me.”
Star watched as Dipper and Ford left before Connie and Steven turned to her. “I guess you’re going too?” Connie asked.
“Yup,” Star replied and jumped to her feet enthusiastically. “Just let me get my scissors and… Wait, it feels like I’m forgetting something.”
Back at the cave of the three bears…
“Ha! That’s three of a kind!” King Butterfly shouted at the three bears sitting around the poker table. “Read it and weep!”
“Aw,” Grizz moaned.
“Come on,” Panda muttered.
“Ice Bear has straight flush.” Everyone at the table turned to the polar bear as their jaws dropped at his hand.
King Butterfly angrily threw his cards in the air and shouted. “Rah! Who wants to play with you anyway?”
“You know the rules,” Grizz said with a smirk.
Butterfly glared at him before removing his undershirt, having been stripped down to his bare chest. “This doesn’t make sense! You don’t even have anything to strip!”
As Star left to go find her dad and the Gems went outside, Discord and Fluttershy were finally left alone. Discord rubbed the back of his head regretfully as he slumped in his chair. “I… have to apologize, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy turned to him with a puzzled look. “For what?”
“I shouldn’t have invited you in the first place,” Discord admitted. “I knew you would probably be uncomfortable but I just wanted you to come out of your shell. I really had no idea that this would happen.”
Fluttershy smiled as she shook her head. “It’s alright. In truth, this might have been good for me.” Discord’s ears perked up. “I might have been scared, but I realize that’s one of my biggest flaws. The people and things I met weren’t dangerously scary, for the most part. I think I’ve come out of this a better pony. And I have you to thank.” She placed a hoof on her friend’s claw and Discord smiled back.
His smile soon turned into a smirk. “You know, I actually have a movie buff group that meets every Monday if you’d like to join us there too?”
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide.
Floods of people ran screaming out of the Tremorton Movie Theater as five figures walked out munching on the last of their popcorn. “That movie was completely ludicrous and inaccurate!” a little green alien with antenna, bug eyes and a purple striped uniform shouted. “And who would seriously believe that that actor is a botanist?”
“How can you say that?” one of the two large identical green aliens with slimy tentacles and one giant green eye replied in a monstrous monotone. “Matt Damon is a national treasure!” shouted the other.
“Kerokerokero,” another small frog-like alien with a yellow hat laughed. “I think it was pretty funny.”
“I don’t think it was supposed to be a comedy, Keroro,” Discord said. “What did you think Fluttershy? …Fluttershy?”
“GIR?”
“Private Tamama?”
A few blocks away, the screaming evacuees of the movie theatre passed by a young geeky looking man with greasy hair as he opened the door to a large house. “Hey, Doctor Wakeman, does Jenny know that there’s a crowd of- Whoah!” he shouted in surprise as he spotted his metallic crush with her stretchable arms wrapped tight around what looked to be a yellow Pegasus with a long pink mane. Jenny wore a huge smile on her face but the Pegasus didn’t look too happy. Doctor Wakeman was at their side trying to pull Jenny off with a crow bar.
“Oh, Sheldon,” the inventor said with pant. “I’m glad you’re here. XJ-9 seems to have some kind of cuteness overload. And these two nightmares are no help at all.” She pointed behind her to her wrecked house where a small robot with blue eyes and a flat head swung from the chandelier spouting nonsense about pancakes while a small black tadpole looking alien angrily blew blasts of energy from its mouth at him.
Fluttershy sighed and squeaked a little when the robot girl’s grip grew tighter.
Author's Note
Here's a silly little thing I've been working on intermittently for a while. I didn't take it too seriously, but feel free to critique.
P.S. If you don't get that whole joke with Pinkie and Dan, read this The Wheel and the Butterfly highly recommended and I hope Justice3442 doesn't mind that I used his characters.