A missing Draconequus and a broken mind.

'Come now Discord, you can turn a town into bedlam in a day or two but you are struggling to write a damn letter.' The draconequus mentally chided himself looking at the titled parchment in front of him. He had woken for the last time this night at six am thinking his dream life was beautiful as he wandered a world with his best friend and in the confines of the optimistic dream, lover. As his brain gave him the word naturally, his heart stabbed him hard telling him exactly what it wanted. 'I know what you want and I want it as well, so just shove off or help me write this damn letter.' Scolded his heart quieted down still touching his soul with a dull need. It was the same force that had woken him from the three dreams he had of her, the first two had been enough to make him blush. Yet oddly he had simply spent time with her, cuddling on her sofa, sharing his favourite spot, walking along in the winter snow in the last one, it had felt like more to the Draconequus, made attractive than a world of chaos without even trying. He wanted her to be with him so badly. Again he stared uselessly at the paper which was his only plan to fill the urgent need in his soul.

Dear Fluttershy

I am writing to...

That was all the spirit of chaos and undefined magical power had achieved in the twenty minuets since he had written the D in Dear.  He sighed again and thought of how things between him and Fluttershy had changed. He remembered tearing at her and her friends turning them against their elements to ensure the safety of his reign 'Truly a fantastic plan hu'. He cursed his talkative mind. He was on an equal power standing with Celestia and Luna combined which meant that with Mortem apparently no where to be seen he was safe as long as the little dogs of Celestia where apart. He sighed that he considered the girls that at the time. That had changed so much, regardless of their perspective on him Discord considered them all friends and felt a slight protective closeness towards all of them. Even the little dragon stand in when loyalty had abandoned. Not a patch on what he felt for Fluttershy but she had always cared far more about him than them and had been the one to give him the chances he needed. He mentally brushed such disparities away from his mind to clear room for the memories of his reformation. He had first held the concept with dispassionate bile. Gave him an excuse to torment the girls again and as he considered it 'get his chaotic roxx off.' However as he had turned Flutter's world over and over and generally caused  amongst her possessions and animal friends with emphasis on that damnable rabbit he still did not have total peace with despite many efforts on his part to bridge the gap. She used her kindness and forgiving nature to creep into his heart. However she had gotten a little too far along. He didn't realise he loved her when he sided with Tirek, he just realised the aching pit of sorrow at his miss-judgement of his own priorities 'Should Tirek come back he is going to feel a lot of pain.' Spat the more violent part of his mind. He didn't realise he loved her when he played pranks on her friends. He didn't realise it when he taught Twilight his lesson in his own twisted way. He didn't even realise it when he messed up the Gala and again upset her. However as Tuesday tea between the two of them became Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday tea he found it harder and harder to not be around her, it was like part of his body and spirit was missing even his magic felt weaker. He would try and just drop in on her. However as much as she said she adored it and didn't mind he could tell he was intruding when she had other plans. He had jointly wondered how to deal with the situation and quite how she had instilled enough empathy in his unused heart to worry about her as well as himself.

*Snap*

He knew precisely what he should write. He started scratching away at the page with his oddly exact handwriting. Despite the practised nature with which he wrote his claw was shaking enough to snap two quills over the writing of the letter. He also exhausted the current ink pot which due to magic shouldn't have been possible. The ink pot had been a gift from Twilight when he had complained of constantly running out when he had to keep in touch with Celestia after his reformation. 'Wait why the hell do write with a quill and ink. Surely I could have just summoned that letter. Celestia prefers hand written but I don't think Fluttershy cares.' Discord put his lion paw to his face a that. 'I suppose she might like it more if she sees I put more heart into it.' With that discord got up and wandered through his portal Into Ponyville, he would normally take the one that Fluttershy had asked him to put in her room but he didn't want to wake her and didn't have the nerve to hand the letter over in person. He appeared on the path that connected the main town to the peaceful woods surrounded Fluttershy's cottage. It was Sunday as such Discord doubted the mare would be awake so he simply nodded a hello to some of the earliest birds who chirped a reply. 'Little curt but not to bad,' he also nodded another through the window to Angel who simply glowered. 'You will have to get used to me eventually, you little skittering rodent' Discord thought then put the letter through Fluttershy's letter box. He then lighted himself on a nearby rock from which he could see her front door and waited.

Half an hour of torment faded by for Discord as he ran his nerves ragged over and over again each time he thought he saw her window. He had at first asked himself why he was so nervous to which his wonderful mind had simply commented 'You are a freakish being who has caused her huge suffering more than once, meanwhile she is a beautiful kind mare who could get any stallion she may choose.' Realising how accurate that was, fear had then gripped him even harder than it had previously causing a nauseating series of panics some of which made Discord have to magically stop himself from getting of his rock and removing the letter from her house. After half an hour of this torture he whisked himself off back to the portal to his chaos dimension and went about distracting himself by rearranging the strange objects that could be seen through his realm into a giant picture of Fluttershy and himself and having them wander around the skies. It was quite a sceptical and Discord kept it up longer than was wise and as the constellations of himself and the mare of his dreams turned to one and other and hugged together. Discord's actual body was being heavily strained and torn at by the shear magical force of conducting such a huge amount of matter about the place. He simply couldn't allow the celestial bodies to float away braking the image of himself and Fluttershy, so he didn't. Despite the effects it had on him and the painful wear it was pushing onto his body Discord held them together until he collapsed in a heap mentally and physically exhausted.

"I love you Fluttershy" he muttered as his ruined body collapsed into sleep as they all floated away into new positions in his mismatched sky.