Time, Cupcakes, Muffins, and Random Things.

by averagewriter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Doctor Whooves
Length: 2355

A random and possibly cringe-worthy story of our beloved time horse. With a side of cupcakes and muffins too.

Ever wondered how Turner spends his days? Ever wonder how he thinks?
Then look no further as we explore his private life in this horribly written story. A story that will make readers groan and click that dislike button. Because this story is written by a person who writes stories for fun and as a hobby.
Join the fun in pointing out that makes this story so wrong and help in the development of the poorly written story.
MAybe for once, you can enjoy a story written this randomly.
-One of the voices in Turner's head.
But seriously, you have been warned. Read at your own risk

Published 2016-01-20 22:10:31 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-22 13:31:59 UTC

A story with wasted potential

It was just another normal day in Ponyville. Everyone was their usual happy self; doing their jobs, mingling with others, and even having a picnic. Not a single problem would arise today.

WICKERING HORSE STALLIONS!

Unless we are talking about him. Everyone may have a simple problem which could be easily be solved but then there’s this one stallion that overcomplicates everything. We can’t blame him though, he is an inventor after all.

His name is Time Turner, an earth pony who is just one of the many who lives in Ponyville. Outside, he’s just like any other normal ponies. Inside he’s place, he’s a mad scientist, weird inventor, complicated planner, etc. That’s what some thinks anyways.

Most of the time, he works alone. If he feels like it, he allows Ditzy (the mail mare of Ponyville and possibly the whole Equestria) to join him in some of his crazy experiments. Today though, he’s alone once more in his house, planning on something.

“I’m so close, I just know it!” Turner told himself, pacing around. “I just need to find out one more thing then I’m done!”

He looked at his blackboard, which was covered with lots of algebric expression and such, and starts writing again. As he writes, he can feel himself sweating. It was a tense moment for him. Nothing should distract him now.

“Maybe if I add this to that...and then subtract this…” He mumbles to himself, writing with intense speed that his chalk might as well evaporate at this point. “Now what’s next?”

He stares at the board, trying to think of the next step. Maybe if he divided that number with this number, then surely he could finally get the number which he could then use to times with another number which he got from adding the two numbers before to finally get the number he needs. Yes, that must be it. Surely he can finally finish the equation!

He goes back to writing at the board. The squealing and squeaking coming from the contact between his chalk and his board acts as a minor nuisance for him. The amount of sweat dripping down his face means nothing to him. The grey pegasus that is watching him from his doorstep is just another face in the crowd. Wait, what?

“What the?!” Turner, startled by the presence of the mail mare, accidentally drew a line using his chalk across the board. He stared at it in horror as he soon realizes what just happened.

“Uhm, hi Doc,” Ditzy greeted him, unsure what to make of the look Turner is giving her. “You have mail.”

The mad stallion groans in annoyance and erases what he had written on the board. It was ruined, no point in trying to fix it. He’ll just have to try it again next time. He then approached the pegasus.

“Is everything ok?” Ditzy asked him. “You seem to have a bad day. I can come back next time if you don’t want your mail now.”

“No, no. I’m fine,” He told her, slowly calming down. “Now I’ll have that mail, if you please?”

“Sure!” The pegasus happily gives him his mail, an envelope which has a weird seal on it.

“Do you know where this came from?” Turner questions her, looking at the envelope. “I have never seen a seal like this before.”

“Nope!” Was all she said with a smile. “What does the mail say?”

“Don’t you have any more mail to do?” Turner looks at her saddlebags, which seems to be filled with even more mail.

“Uhm, I don’t think so,” Ditzy stares at her bags. “All that’s left inside this bags are muffins.”

Of course, muffins. Turner can’t help but smile at this pegasus. Even if she was the reason his work was ruined, he knew he can’t stay mad at her forever. Besides, there’s always next time.

“Great!” He says. “Do you want to see something?”

Ditzy happily claps her hooves and enters. She loves this parts of her visits. She gets to see the amazing invention he made. Ever since she touched that ball with light, she knew she was destined to see what was next in his inventing list.

They walked to a part of Turner’s house, a dark secluded area where he keeps a special item. Ditzy never knew what it was. Would she finally see it?

“Ah, here we are!” Turner says as he admires that mysterious object which was covered with a comfy looking blanket. “The ultimate project that I had promised myself to finish. And it’s finally done!”

Ditzy was trying to contain all of her excitement. She remembered the last time she let it all out. That was a disaster.

“What is it?” She asks him.

“Behold, the one and only…” Turner removes the cover, revealing a contraption. “The Machine!”

Ditzy looks at the Machine with awe and confusion. Meanwhile, Turner was staring at her, smiling widely.

“What does it do?” The derpy pegasus asks. “Does it-”

“No, it doesn’t bake muffins,” Turner quickly cuts her off. “The Machine is built for other things, like time-traveling!”

“Time-traveling?” Ditzy scratches her head. “You mean it’s a clock that can go anywhere?”

“Ha ha, real funny Ditzy,” Turner just rolled his eyes. “Anyways, it allows anyone to travel through different time periods, from the present to the past or to the future. Amazing, right?”

“Uhm, yeah…” The pegasus was now very confused.

“Remember the time when I told you how Twilight time-traveled using magic?” Turner starts to pace around the Machine. “I thought only magic can allow you to move through time. Boy, was I wrong! Turns out this earth stallion can do that to!”

“So, are you going to try it?” Ditzy asks him.

“Well, yes but I still need to find out how to make it work,” Turner answers. “I was on the brink of finding it out before...you came in.”

“Oops.”

Turner just sighs and walks back to the grey pegasus. He nearly forgot to tell her something important.

“Anyways, this a secret. Got it? Only you and me can know about this,” Turner tells her sternly.

“W-Why?” She asks.

“Well, it;s a dangerous device and if it fall on the wrong hooves, it could spell catastrophe,” Turner replies. “If we’re lucky, then at least 96.99% of Ponyville doesn’t know about this, excluding me and you of course.”

Suddenly, before he could react, something moved behind his machine. He stared at where he thought he saw movement and slowly approaches it. Ditzy follows him, confused at what he's doing.

“Hello?”

Out of nowhere, a pink hoof taps Turner on the shoulder. He quickly turns around to see the energetic pink pony staring back at him.

And this where madness happens and how adventures started and how friendships ended. In Turner’s eyes anyways.

“Pinkie! What are you doing here?” Turner asks her in surprise.

“Oh nothing, just watching you try so hard to solve a simple equation,” The pink pony replies, giggling. “The answer is 2!”

Turner looks at the mare in disbelief. How could she have known the answer so quickly? Had she been this smart all along and just disguised it with Pinkie happiness?

“Don’t look at me like that,” She shakes her head. “Even the foals can answer that equation. It’s just simple math! You just put 1 and 1 together!”

As like every other day, the sun starts to set. Everyone goes back to their house and calls it a day. As the light in each house starts to fade, Turner continues to bang his head on his pillow. Today was interesting indeed, with Ditzy appearing out of nowhere and Pinkie knowing the answer to that super-hard equation. He wonders how crazy his days could get. Maybe one day, he’ll meet his future self in the past or maybe it will start raining muffins. He could not think properly anymore, his mind just going crazy. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be ok. Maybe he’ll finally stop hearing the voices in his head that narrates everything he does and commands his every movement. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from Pinkie. Maybe he could try eating muffins. Then maybe one day he could finally be that stallion that everyone wants him to be:, smart, brave, a time-traveler, one who wields the sonic screwdriver. But for now, he will have to follow what the voices in his head says, follow the personalities they set him.

One day, he’ll be free, but for now, it's another day of adventures with a pre-written plot.

Author's Note

I can't even...:facehoof:

A Story with a Bitter Taste

Turner stares at his Blue Box. He doesn’t know why but he loves it. It’s been with him since his birth and so far, this is where he does his “adventuring”. He wonders if all the time he spent inside just thinking of travelling through time and visiting other planets were worth it. Probably not, the things he imagined back then are just a work of fiction. No, Turner is a pony of reality, of Science! No time for nonsense, it’s time to get back to work.

DING! BING! DING!

Turner looked at his front door and shook his head. No, there couldn’t be someone that actually wants to talk to him right now. Most ponies mind their own business. His mind wandered to Ditzy but he knew it can’t be her. She’s usually working as a cargo mover during the mornings. Then he thought of Pinkie. Again, it couldn’t be her because she always goes to Twilight’s castles in the early mornings for some “Friendship talks” and other stuff.

DING! BING! DING!

Turner wondered why the pony behind his door continued to try to get his attention. The doorbell he invented, which was an outstanding piece of technology, continued to ring. Turner decided he would not wait any longer, the doorbell sound is giving him headaches.

He opened the door to be greeted by the sweet smell of muffins and cupcakes. He was surprised to see both ponies he thought would be busy in the morning to be in front of him.

“What are both of you doing here?” Turner asked them. “Don’t you mares have other things to do?”

“Uhm...I got a break, I think,” Ditzy answered. “They told me I could, uhm, come back once I stop dropping pianos on ponies, heheh.”

“And our meeting was cancelled for the day!” Replied the pink pony. “Twilight was sick and she doesn’t want us catching her cold so she had Spike usher us out of the door.”

“And dare I ask once more why both of you are outside my front door,” He asked one more time, eyebrow raised. “And with both of you appearing at the same time, I find that suspicious.”

“Oh, we baked some muffins,” Ditzy replied as she looks at Pinkie, or tries to anyways. “I wanted some and she had no muffins for that day and there was no one to help her bake so I decided to volunteer.”

“And it involved my new recipe I call Ostendens Amaritudinem Animi Muffins.” Pinkie said, winking at the confused earth stallion. “Sounds fancy, huh?”

“I...guess?” Turner continued to look at them both in confusion. As if the sudden happenings from yesterday isn’t enough, he finds 2 mares waiting for him in his front door for some reason. And he has a bad feeling about this.

“Wanna try some?” Ditzy offered, showing Turner the box of muffins on her back.

“Yeah, try some!” Pinkie added. “It’s worth to die for!”

Turner cleared his throat and looked at the box of muffins. He wasn’t sure of what to make of them.

“What’s the catch?” He asks them.

“Catch? What catch?” Ditzy asks him.

“There’s no catch at all! Unless you want me to throw the box at you so you’ll try to catch it,” Pinkie said.

Turner scratches his head in even more confusion and wonders what the buck the 2 mares are thinking. Should he be worried about them? Or should he watch out for pranks that Pinkie made for him today? There are a lot of pranks waiting for him after all.

And as if fate stepped in, he suddenly nodded for no reason. Pinkie clapped with joy as Ditzy places the box down and opens the lid. Turner, who was now extremely confused, stared at the muffins in front of him. They looked nice, he thought, and smelled nice too. Then he started drooling, for alas, he forgot to eat breakfast and now his terribly hungry.

“Maybe one muffin wouldn’t hurt,” Turner mumbles to himself and reaches for one. As he took one bite of the muffin, his tongue was suddenly attacked by an army of horribly bitter bread. His mind, used to the taste of sweet muffins, could not handle the extremely sour taste of the bread. No sooner, he passed out.

Turner wakes up in his room with a sweet taste in his mouth. It tasted like muffins until he realizes that there was nothing in his mouth. Where did the taste come from then? He moved his tongue around his mouth, feeling every place where he thinks could hide food. That’s when the memory of eating the bitter muffins hit him and the sweet taste immediately became sour. He quickly got out of his bed and went to the kitchen. As he washed his mouth with sweet water, he notices a piece of paper on his wall. His eyes widened in disbelief and spat out the water in surprise. Reading once more the wet paper, he sighed in defeat and grabbed a towel to wipe the mess he made. Taking one more look on the paper, he teared it in anger and threw it at the trash.

Obviously, the One-who’s-in-charge likes to play with him and the voices in his head likes to annoy him. Just another regular day with a stallion with no real story.

“Hope you like my muffins.”