Bubble Butt

by Flammenwerfer

Rating: mature
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Sex, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Romance, Original Character, Bat Pony, Comedy
Length: 11533

It's a great irony that one of the most frightening things is telling that special someone how you feel. It's even worse for Jonathan, who's been through many-a situation that were much more stressful. He finds that words aren't always necessary.

Jonathan is no stranger to outside pressure and working under conditions that would make lesser men break from stress... but when it comes to the cutie-pie of a mailmare named Derpy Hooves, also one of his greatest friends, he's beside himself on how to approach conveying the feelings that have matured within him for the past several months. Not only has she been the greatest, most caring friend, but she's also incredibly adorable in her ways, enough to elicit the desire for Jonathan to want more between them.

...and that butt of hers doesn't help, especially since he's an 'ass man.'

With a little bit of reassurance from himself and another friend, he'll just have to casually ask the important question; just drop it in the middle of conversation like it's something simple. That's all there is to it... right?

-Oneshot clopfic with a side of cheesiness at the end.
-Flow check and Pre-read by: Pusspuss, Eppie Genetic, and Enigmatic Otaku. Edited by me.
-Base art by Mokanyann, sourced to derpibooru.

Published 2016-01-26 02:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-26 02:00:02 UTC

Of Muscles and Muffins

Bubble Butt

By: Flammenwerfer

Jonathan Abbot scooped three teaspoons of sugar into his cup of boiling-hot black tea and stirred lazily, still in the process of waking up despite having rolled out of bed twenty minutes prior.

The fair-skinned man allowed the aroma to waft upwards, gracing his nose and heating him up that much more pleasantly as he took a deep breath. Running his left hand over his bald head, he sighed out and slunk into his chair, finally deciding to sip the elixir that helped him start and get through his days so amicably. Coffee never agreed with his stomach, so tea was the next best alternative; it was a blessing that the ponies knew how to brew some ‘bomb-ass’ tea, according to his thoughts on the matter.

Wiping away some of the residual crust from his lashes, Jonathan was able to finally open his brown eyes in full, blinking away that extra bit of blurriness before taking another sip of his hot drink. With his breakfast of three slices of toast, strawberry jelly, an oatmeal muffin, and two protein pills complete with the tea, Jonathan happily munched away as he accumulated energy for this Friday workday like any other. While seven in the morning was not particularly early for a working pony, or even a human for that matter, it was damn-near an impossible change. Jonathan worked the graveyard shift back on Earth as high-level security and logistics, so that took some major getting used to.

Chewing and savoring how perfectly the strawberry topping tasted (and how all food generally tasted better in Equestria), the human fiddled with the dark stubble that had accumulated on the lower half of his face whilst thinking about a myriad of things all at once, as was custom for the early mornings. Ever since he ended up in this new place by some fault in the universe, life had become much more… complicated.

The life that Jonathan had comfortably forged back on Earth was effectively no more, and the last seven months in his new home were devoted to picking up the pieces and making the best of what he had. Thankfully, and with an extra stroke of luck, his dexterity with his hands and a penchant for quick thinking landed him as right-hand security and an assistant for one of the nobles; a certain Prince Blueblood, for that matter. It paid well enough for him to afford a small but comfortable house in Ponyville with enough disposable income to do what he wanted, within reason.

It also helped that Blueblood was actually a pleasure to work for, despite some often downright crude remarks about him.

Jonathan’s mental ramblings were disrupted when a loud ‘bang’ sounded against his door, as if someone ran right into it, followed promptly by a couple, more traditional knocks. He knew exactly who it was and a small grin etched its way up the right side of his face as he stood up and made his way towards the front door. Groaning a bit at his limbs cracking and muscles loosening up as he stretched, he adjusted his plain-white, loose t-shirt and tightened his sweat pants. He then opened the door and let the light from the early morning bathe his form, having to squint for a moment before he could focus on who was in front of him.

Although, there was little question on who it was when a certain gray, cream-color maned pegasus crashed into his upper body and wrapped her front legs around his neck in a crushing hug.

“Jonathan!” Derpy exclaimed cheerfully, pressing the side of her cheek against his and nuzzling him.

Her bag of mail to deliver remained dutifully slung on her torso as she fluttered in the air, her uniform clinging nicely to her person. It was these little things that the human had been noticing much more in the last few months, but then again, Jon always found Derpy to be a really cute mare. This was something he had to let himself admit once he got over the whole taboo about being attracted to something, or rather, someone, that was not human.

That, and he wasn’t complaining about the fact that she smelt of fresh blueberry muffins.

Jonathan returned her greeting with equal enthusiasm.

“Hey Derpy! Clearly you’re in a good mood!”

He held her tightly against his chest, and after a couple of seconds the gray pegasus separated from him and she dropped to the floor, looking up at him with her trademark gaze. The human couldn’t help grinning at the sight of her adorable, cross-eyed stare which always seemed to radiate happiness along with a teeth-baring smile.

Eager to reply, she excitedly stated:

“Duh! It’s Friday! Plus, I’m looking forward to tonight!”

Her wings ruffled just a bit in excitement. Her natural tone of voice had an innate cuteness to it that the human could not particularly place, but he adored it nonetheless.

That really brought a smile to Jonathan's face as he fully remembered their plans for the evening. With bated excitement and appropriate hand motions, put forth an obvious question:

“We’re still on for that, right?”

He, of course, just wanted to confirm out of formality though he readily knew there would not be any problem. He always looked forward to spending time with Derpy, his first and best friend in Equestria since he arrived. She was one of the few that did not look upon him with fear, but rather with curiosity, and despite his lonesome tendencies, Jonathan opened up to her when a desire for companionship in this different world overrode his introversion. In return, she was immeasurably happy that someone was not judging her based on her most striking feature: her crossed eyes.

Though in Jonathan’s opinion, they were her second-best physical feature.

“You know it!” Derpy confirmed with a smile, a certain excitement in her voice that sent a few unknown emotions into Jonathan’s chest and stomach.

Something about the way she said that made him feel incredible, and truth be told, he had some measure of idea what it was… and that terrified him.

“How’s work today? By the way, I have some hot tea ready if you want any,” Jonathan offered with an over-the-shoulder thumb towards his kitchen, leaning against the doorframe.

She shook her head with that same smile.

“No thanks, I’m still full from breakfast and stuff. And work is fine, just busy busy busy. The last rounds of mail are coming in for the week, so that’s always fun,” she explained with mild sarcasm, averting her gaze and pawing at the floor, but the slight lull in conversation did not last long.

“Oh!” Derpy suddenly perked up, remembering something important as she rummaged through her mail bag. “Got something for you, and I wanted to hoof it to you personally.”

“Is that the package I was telling you about last week?” Jonathan asked, a small measure of hope lacing his words.

He was not one to express his emotions as much back on Earth, but after being around this particular pegasus, he found himself letting go just that much more, enough where it tested his comfort limits but ended up being rewarding. He flexed his back and continued stretching the sleep out of him as Derpy continued her search.

“Yup, it’s somewhere… Aha!” the mailmare exclaimed, plucking a rectangular box out of her bag and presenting it up to her human friend with her mouth.

“Nice!”

Jonathan took the box from her and examined it, finding it in pristine condition with no markings save for the postage stamp.

“Arrived right on time, thanks Derpy,” he remarked before extending his hand and scratching right behind her right ear.

The poor pegasus nearly melted under his touch, an involuntary shiver running down her spine and endin at one of her hooves. This was a fairly common occurrence between the two, and it was a bit of a culture shock at first when Jonathan was exposed to just how much more ‘touchy-feely’ ponies were with each other.

He got used to it… more often than not.

“You say ‘hoo-mans’ can’t do magic, but I swear, those fingers…”

Awkwardly, Jonathan blurted out his first thoughts:

“Heh, they have their uses…” he said, not entirely sure how to respond to Derpy’s statement in retrospect.

Once the hindsight processing hit him, he paled at the realization of how horribly lewd his last sentence could be taken. To his relief, though, Derpy only giggled.

“So, what’s in the box?”

“A little birthday present for a friend of mine back at the castle. Gonna give it to her before work today so she can get drunk off it,” he answered, shaking the parcel just a little bit to feel the weight within. “She’ll probably kill me but, no matter. How’re Dinky and Amethyst doing?”

“They’re doing great! Amethyst is still studying up north and Dinky’s with her dad for the next couple of weeks. So, it’ll be just us tonight,” the pegasus informed.

She then blew a couple errant strands of her mane out of her face and ‘refocusing’ those captivating crossed eyes back on Jonathan.

“Oh okay! Works for me!”

“Heh, well try not to die, otherwise we don’t get to hang out!” Derpy added with mock-astuteness, turning away to head back out.

She added:

“Anyway, gotta get back to my route. I’ll see you later tonight, Jon!” she called over her shoulder with a wave, heading down the tiny path back to the street but accidentally running into a fence post.

She quickly corrected herself with a barely noticeable ‘sonovabitch’ falling from her mouth. Jonathan still chuckled and watched sneakily with acute interest at her hips swaying pendulously, seeing her out of the gate.

“See ya later, Derpy!” Jonathan bade his goodbye, watching her go with a whimsical expression on his face.

He then sighed out blissfully before turning back inside to finish his breakfast. Realizing he spent a little more time talking to (and observing) Derpy than he remembered, he had to quickly finish up so he had enough time to shower, dress up in one of his suits, and catch his ride to work. Also, upon making himself look presentable for the day, Jonathan made sure to carefully remove the postage stamp from the mystery parcel and slap a vague ‘Happy Birthday!’ on it; perfect and practical for his purposes.

Slipping the box into his briefcase and ensuring that his navy-blue suit was free of any wrinkles and fuzz, Jonathan started out the door of his small house, locking it out of habit and easily bee-lining his way to the train station as he had done for the last several months.

Unlike several months ago, most ponies now barely spared him a passing glance, which was just fine by him. Ponyville was a relatively tightly-knit community, thus, he was generally familiar with all the faces he passed by. In fact, a few now greeted him with friendly waves as opposed to apprehensive stares and overbearing curiosity.

The ‘overbearing curiosity’ was not entirely unwarranted; Jonathan was taller than almost everypony in Equestria. The only one who he knew was taller than him was Princess Celestia… and that was only just barely because of her horn—being six-foot-five tends to do that. What made him look a bit more intimidating was the fact that, because of his previous profession back on Earth, he was necessarily built. He prided himself on being in ‘damn-good’ shape and actively maintained himself as best as he could despite his new environment.

The one tradeoff was that ponies would be unconsciously hesitant around him. It never bothered him that much, at least anymore… and Jonathan often quickly dispelled fears with simple conversation.

A ninety-minute ride to Canterlot and a small walk later, Jonathan was presenting his badge to the Guards at the castle’s entrance. After a simple cross-reference, he was let in with no hassles, as expected. Smoothing his suit out and wiping his head out of habit, he strode inside.

Checking his watch, he saw that he had a bit more time than expected to deliver the precious cargo to an unsuspecting friend of his, so he headed immediately for the Lunar Guard barracks.

The entire trip, however, wasn’t necessary because he spied the very pony he was looking for still standing at attention on the right side of the throne room’s entrance. Her golden-eyed gaze, despite the stoicism they exuded, shown of extreme fatigue, which made sense considering batponies in the Guard were not accustomed to being awake during the day. She wasn’t wearing her helmet either, and her trademark ponytail was much more unkempt than Jon was used to seeing.

As he drew closer, the human announced his presence.

“Working overtime, Stella?” Jonathan asked, taking a knee on her left side so he was approximately at eye-level with her.

The mare in question spared a single, sideways glance toward him and huffed.

“Oi Jonathan… and not by my choice, mate,” Stella replied tiredly in her iconic Scottish-sounding drawl.

She punctuated with a deep yawn.

“Some twat in the Sols decided to go AWOL, so until they find a replacement, I’m it.”

Sympathetic to her plight, Jonathan patted her armored back a few times for some moral support.

“Ouch. Well, it’s time and a half, right?” he asked with a soft smirk.

Her eyelids slackened just a bit, but she shot them open with a little bit of effort.

“Double-time, actually. My shift ended almost four hours ago.”

“Well, I think I have something that’ll brighten your day,” Jonathan alluded eagerly, setting his briefcase on the ground and out of Stella’s view so he could retrieve the small box.

She peered over with a cocked eyebrow.

With a knowing smile, he presented the small box to her and delivered his words in a calm fashion:

“Happy Birthday!"

Stella only looked at him with those tired eyes and her mouth slightly slack, exposing her set of four fangs that he found cute as hell.

“I think one of the first things I told you was to not get me anything, ya cunt.”

“I know. I did anyway. For being such an awesome friend, you deserve it,” Jonathan countered, not having any of her protests which earned a good-natured eye-roll from her.

She sighed, sporting the tiniest of smirks.

“Thank you, Jonathan,” she replied genuinely, faking an acquiescence before taking the box out of his grasp.

Sitting on her haunches, Stella bit into the top of the package and tore two precise lines into the cardboard with one of her fangs, which allowed her to rip off the top and slide the box’s contents into her hoof. A very familiar bottle of liquor fell into her grasp and despite her already droopy complexion, she suddenly recoiled, shocked.

Stella turned her attention back to a rather smug looking Jonathan.

“Th-This is Thestral, Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie, imported from the Northern Mountains... you fuckin’ prick this must’ve cost you your cock!” the batpony wanted to protest.

Jonathan waved his hand dismissively, stuffing the remnants of the box in his suit pocket for later disposal.

“Nah, it didn’t. But even if it did, I stand by what I said earlier. Again, happy birthday, Stella.”

The thestral mare angled her head incredulously at her human friend but, nevertheless, produced a tired smile and wrapped her front legs around Jonathan’s neck.

She nuzzled her cheek into his, holding him in an armored embrace which he gladly returned.

“Heh, thanks, ya big oaf.”

“Corporal Sabre?” a new voice penetrated the gentle morning ambience.

Both parties turning their heads to the newcomer yielded a lieutenant in the Solar Guard.

“Sir?” Stella asked, removing herself from her friend and snapping (tiredly) to attention.

The Solar Guard raised a gentle hoof.

“At ease. We’ve found your replacement, so you can head on back to barracks now. Sorry for the screw-up, and I’ll be sure to pass a good word up the chain on your behalf. Thanks for not making things more difficult,” he explained, relieving Stella of her duties after the extra-long night for her.

The armored batpony slackened her stance and returned a grateful yet weak salute.

“Sir, thank you, sir,” she replied, moving away from her post and standing next to Jonathan, who had decided to right his posture.

However, he soon felt a gentle pat on the side of his leg. Glancing down towards his friend, he found a tired, pleading gaze staring back up at him.

“Carry me?”

Jon smiled and rolled his eyes, and by that, Stella already knew what the answer was. Early on in their friendship, the batpony figured out that Jonathan was most excellent for ‘piggy-back’ rides. Ponies were by no means small by the usual definition; despite the average pony being about four-feet tall, on hind-legs, they could gain significant height. Nevertheless, Jon’s larger build and stature allowed him to carry his equine friends with relative ease, and the first time Stella experienced it, she was hooked.

As was Derpy.

And, as he figured out on many occasions with different mares, he just ‘couldn’t say no to that face.’

“Suuuure, hop on. That armor better be clean, though,” he jokingly warned, hunching down so Stella could climb aboard his back.

Stella wrapped her front legs around his neck and let her hind legs hook in with his arms. Jonathan then hoisted her up while the batpony rested her chin on his right shoulder.

To this day, Jonathan was always surprised at how light ponies were, though her armor certainly added weight.

Turning his head towards Stella’s, he asked:

“Barracks, right?”

The mare only nodded in response while resting her eyes.

So, he started off straight down the corridor and hooked a left into one of the larger courtyards, a shortcut to the guard barracks that Stella had shown him months ago.

“Thanks, mate. I owe you dinner next week,” she mumbled into his suit collar.

Hilariously enough, she still held the bottle of liquor in her hoof, making it look like, at least to a passerby, that she was being hefted back to her barracks from a drunken night rather than overwork.

Jonathan giggled heartily to himself at the thought.

“No problem, Stel’.”

Then again, with Stella and her penchant for alcohol, she probably did have to get carried back once or twice within that context.

His life was definitely a roller-coaster and he loved it.

“So what’s new with you, love?” the mare softly asked. “Any plans for the evenin’?”

“Ahh, same old stuff,” Jonathan responded with little flair.

He took a nice breath of fresh, flowery air afforded by the beautiful arrangements in one of the many courtyards the castle sported.

“Hanging out with Derpy tonight, so that’ll be fun.”

He could feel the cheek about to come out of Stella’s mouth.

“Again? Gonna get some helping of bubble butt this time? She’s got the nice flank fer it.”

“Oh be quiet, you. Go back to sleep,” Jon replied with his own smirk, rolling his eyes.

Stella would tease him about this all the time, as she, too, was somewhat acquainted with Derpy.

“I’m serious, though! With how much you two are knockin’ about together, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner,” Stella continued, and after a couple seconds of silence, spoke up yet again.

“The way you talk about her is a dead giveaway; you’ve got it bad, though I’m not surprised. Derpy’s got that MILFy body that’s firm yet squishy in all the right places… that ass though… just makes ya wanna put yer face in between those haunches and just...” the batpony made an incredibly lewd motorboating gesture and mimed smothering herself; Jonathan nearly busted out laughing at the imagery.

“Y’know, I’m starting to think you like her more than me,” Jonathan joked. “And I thought you had the top spot in the ‘oligopoly of asses?’”

“Yer goddamn right, but I can like butts too; don’t get fuckin’ smart with me, chum. But seriously, quit whingin’ about and just ask her out already. You two are close, aye?” she asked.

“Aye,” he replied, mimicking her accent, which earned him a swat of the hoof to the back of his head.

Both of them chuckled at the exchange.

“But in all honesty, I really don’t think it’s gonna work between us. I-I mean… she’s busy with her job and her kids, not to mention the already interesting life she has. I don’t think she’ll want me possibly throwing a wrench into the mix. Besides, look at me. I already have enough trouble even talking to most mares without them feeling completely intimidated by my size… so—”

Stella shook her head, giggling.

“You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Jonathan.”

He was more than ready to protest her trivializing his concerns, even if they weren't necessarily founded.

“Whaaat? She may legitimately not be interested in me in that way, and she’s one of the only close friends I have. Even worse, ponies can be awful… she gets teased enough as it is because of her eyes, and the last thing I wanna do is give them more ammunition."

“Oh please, Jonathan, you’re like a big teddy bear! And I’m not saying to march over to her house and try to fuck her… I’m just saying, ask her out or something! Seriously, what’s the absolute worst that could happen? Tell me,” she demanded to know.

“The end of our friendship?”

“Okay now yer just being willfully stupid. If you think she’ll drop your friendship over a question then you’re an absolute doat, or she’s a cunt. And since I firmly believe Derpy’s not that kinda mare, it’s probably the first. Trust me, I know; I can see the future,” she remarked.

Sarcastically, he added:

“Oh really. Do tell me your ways, soothsayer."

The two entered back into the castle into a restricted Guard corridor, and Jonathan was allowed in with Stella on his back.

“Well, I can use yer head as a crystal ball…” she joked, garnering yet another roll of the eyes from the human.

His bald head was always the butt of Stella’s jokes, but he didn’t mind. He incessantly teased her for being an alcoholic from how much she drank, so they were even, in his book.

“But being serious, trust me, you’ll be fine. I actually think you’ll walk away with a marefriend.”

Jonathan huffed, smirking at the little vote of confidence. The end of this corridor signaled the entrance to the Guard Barracks, and the human patted the thestral’s leg to signal their arrival.

“Well, in any event, thanks for the words of assurance. I’ll let you know what… if something happens. Oh, and don’t go drinking that bottle in one sitting,” he teased.

“Oi, I just realized something,” Stella suddenly perked up, lifting her head from his shoulder.

“What?”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do when I wake up.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t; otherwise you won’t get your sobriety token,” Jonathan said, shooting a sideways smirk to his friend, who only returned the same look.

With a lightning quick wit such as hers, Stella riposted:

“Aye, well, the problem is that I don’t take suggestions from somepony whose head looks like a balding bollock,” Stella stated, her smirk morphing into a trademark fanged, cheeky smile, which Jonathan countered with a stoic deadpan.

The batpony then nuzzled him and planted a two-second, exaggerated kiss on his cheek with an accompanying ‘mwah!’

“Well, thanks for the ride, mate,” she commented, shuffling off his back and planting her hooves back onto the ground, trotting to the barracks door which was tended to by a lone batpony guard.

Stella then faced Jonathan again, liquor balancing on her back.

“Also, as I said, fuckin’ relax, and you’ll be just fine. Tartarus, maybe if you fuck it up with her, I’ll return the favor and give you a ride next time,” she jokingly flirted, flashing him a wink.

Jonathan legitimately could not tell if she was actually joking or not, this time.

“Yeah, I’ll pass… I don’t think I’d survive,” he answered honestly. “I’ll see you later, Stell’.”

Stella chortled at the first thought.

“See ya, Jonathan!” Stella waved one last time before entering into the barracks and shutting the door behind her. He took a deep breath and sighed out comfortably, chuckling to himself and shaking his head at the antics of his batpony friend. Just as he was about to head to Blueblood’s office and get right to work, the lone thestral guard by the door cleared his throat, gaining the tall human’s attention.

“Next time, keep her. We don’t want her back,” he joked with all the seriousness a hardened Lunar Guard could muster.

“I heard that! Fuck off.” Stella’s muffled voice was heard through the door without missing a single beat, and the other batpony only laughed into one of his hooves, clearly enjoying getting under his foul-mouthed comrade’s skin. Jonathan also snickered at the small display before turning on his heels and strutting to Blueblood’s office with just enough time to be considered on time.

[Four Hours Later…]

Jonathan’s former profession as a logistics professional and high-level corporate security for VIPs ensured he had some of the greatest ability to work under pressure… but for some reason, none of these skills and habits, honed in the crucible of well-over ten years of experience, were doing him any good with productivity for the day. The culprit: the cute, cross-eyed mailmare named Derpy Hooves that he called one of his greatest friends. This whole hesitancy scenario frustrated Jonathan to absolutely no end.

Career-wise, it was required that he have the confidence and bravado to just manage day-to-day operations, and for the most part, that held true in working under Blueblood (though admittedly much less intense)... then why did he need to feel like an awkward middle-schooler when it came to something as simple as asking out the fairer sex? Jonathan could name several things off the top of his head that were much more harrowing in comparison.

His internal conflict was not lost on Prince Blueblood. He had noticed that Jonathan was unusually quiet and off focus, but after a little bit of prying, he sympathised with the human’s internal chaos, and awarded him the rest of the day off with full pay. He had been working incredibly hard since Blueblood graciously took him on despite initial reservations, and the Prince conceded that Jonathan’s skillset in vetting, organizing, and authority by proxy were some of the best he had seen.

Thus, Blueblood had few qualms with letting him off early. And despite Jonathan’s protests, he shooed him out the door to go home, clear his mind, and enjoy the weekend.

Seriously, Jonathan really couldn’t see why people spoke ill of his employer.

Alright… Jonathan thought as he re-entered his house four hours earlier than expected, shuffling out of his suit coat.

Hanging it up on the coatrack, he undid his tie and haphazardly tossed it towards one of the chairs in the living room.

Make today the day. Just get it out of your goddamn system!

Jonathan slowly but surely built up reassurance and mental fortitude, but what would really get his mind straight was a good, old-fashioned workout. Striding to his room with a purpose and stripping down to his boxers, Jon took a long look in the mirror that rested next to the bed, scrutinizing the body he had worked so hard since freshman year in high school to acquire and maintain. Sixteen years later, the reflection that stared back at him sported the bulk yet defined musculature that most men would kill to have. His career choice kept motivation to maintain himself at an alltime high, but this world turned those sources of pride on their heads.

Being as tall and built as he was ensured he got no shortage of attention back home; he squandered it due to his job, though. Here, it was different… his stature, as previously reflected upon numerous times, was often a liability in terms of sheer intimidation factor among a population of beings whose average height on all hooves was at least two feet shorter.

It was no matter, though. He remembered Derpy saying once in passing that she liked his muscles and his height, especially when she would hug him.

See? Like Stella said, everything’s gonna be just fine.

With another deep breath, Jonathan set about a fairly standard upper-body, bodyweight regimen. After forty-five minutes of various pushups, pullups, dips, and the like, he had worked up a wonderful sweat. All that was left to do was eat some of the meat he bought from that griffon vendor, then lounge around until it was time to meet Derpy at her house. He had more than enough time to spare, so since he promised himself that he would tell her how he felt, Jonathan decided to take his sweet time preparing for the evening; an extra-long bath and a nap served this purpose just fine, along with a tremendous cup of tea to set himself right.

Even with calmed nerves, he still had to constantly reassure himself that things would be fine, that he had this in the bag. All the way to Derpy’s house, he derided himself for being ‘retarded with women,’ considering he had been through plenty more stressful situations. All he had to do was drop the question in passing as if it was normal conversation topic… speaking about it like it was normal would take the implicit pressure from it. Simple.

But, Jonathan was hard-pressed to find an ‘appropriate’ time to bring this up when Derpy was laying on his lap, resting her eyes while he pet her and ran his hands down her coat the way she liked it. A fire was going in the fireplace in front of the couch, bathing the room in a comfortable glow against the night as well as ever-welcome warmth. After consuming too many snacks and a good dinner, the two decided to settle down after hearty conversation and a bout of playful wrestling.

“Mmmmm…” Derpy hummed at Jon’s hands tracing vertical lines down her back, his fingers digging into her coat and skin with just the right amount of firmness to elicit a subtle shiver.

“I’ll never get tired of those hands of yours.”

“I’m glad they’re to your liking,” Jonathan answered her remark with one of his own.

He continued to massage her back a bit while using his left hand to knead her right ear between the thumb and index finger.

“Ooooh… that’s good,” she said, letting Jon know just how awesome he was doing. “Thanks for coming over again, though. It’s been a little lonely, recently,” Derpy admitted with a forlorn sigh.

One which was not lost on Jonathan, if his cocked eyebrow was anything to go by.

“Everything alright, bubble butt?” he asked, using her usual term of endearment to try and get a light-hearted reaction out of her.

It worked, to a point. Derpy huffed adorably and shot him a sideways sneer… jokingly, of course. Her expression softened when Jonathan ran his hand through her mane again, tracing his fingers over her scalp.

“Ugh… I hate that name.”

Knowing full well, he countered:

“No you don’t."

Derpy only sighed out, annoyed at knowing he was quite right.

“Uh huh,” she replied, unconvinced. “But no I’m fine… it’s just that… th-there’s good days and bad days, you know? Usually I’m just worried about making sure Dinky’s doing well and school, and that bills are paid on time. Real problems, right?” she asked rhetorically, to which Jonathan nodded, but wondered where she was going with.

He remained silent and continued to stroke her, giving Derpy the cue to continue.

She shifted her position and lay on her side, her head resting peacefully on Jon’s lap while her eyes, having righted themselves naturally, faced the fire and bore a thousand-yard stare.

“With Dinky visiting her dad for a couple weeks and Amethyst out of the house pretty much all the time, it gets lonely. Then, I start thinking about things that don’t really matter. Things that don’t bother me anymore start to bother me again and…” Derpy paused to try and find the words for what she wanted to say, but she sighed out, defeated, feeling almost pitiful.

“Derpy, you know you can always come over or come get me if you’re feeling lonely… what happened?” Jonathan asked, rubbing his thumb behind her ear. The pegasus rested her eyes under his touch.

“Today after work, I overheard some mares saying nasty things about…” she paused, taking a deep breath. “...m-my eyes.”

Jonathan held her that much tighter on his lap.

“Do I need to kick somepony’s ass?” he asked semi-seriously, though deep down he meant it.

Derpy giggled softly and topped his hand with her hoof.

“No, you don’t… but what bothers me is that, it’s been a long time since something like that affected me. I’ve always been the subject of mean words because of my eyes but I’ve gotten used to it because I had more important things to worry about!” she exclaimed, a bit louder than before.

“And today, I… I let it get to me,” she added regretfully. “As always, they thought I was stupid… mentally challenged; retarded.

“I’m not, Jon. You know me! I’m not stupid! I’m clumsy, yeah… but I can’t help that!”

The human felt a harsh pang of sadness pierce his chest, more so because he couldn’t bear to hear that shaky tone in her voice.

“I got home, and I cried. And I stupidly tried to fix them in the mirror. I couldn’t do it, Jonathan... I couldn’t fix my eyes.” Derpy sniffled, wiping away the mist that had begun to accumulate over her golden orbs.

She sniffled again harshly before continuing:

“Believe me, I’ve tried in the past and I know I can’t but…

“...it just hurts. Y’know?” she concluded after taking another deep breath, gaining control before she lost it completely.

Derpy internally chastised herself for letting what others thought get to her so badly after an excellent track record over the last year.

Comfort instincts taking over, Jonathan wrapped his arms around Derpy’s torso and pulled her closer into his abdomen. Then he decided to sit her up on his lap facing him. The pegasus’ saddened face then met one of sternness from her human friend. He wasn’t going to yell at her, of course... He never had, and he assuaged her concerns by cupping both sides of her face and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. She wasn’t a snivelling wreck like she had detailed in stories of the past, but Derpy was certainly downtrodden and shamed.

It was time to fix that.

“You know better than to think something’s wrong with you by trying to ‘fix’ your eyes,” he noted, wiping away any little bit of tears that had managed to accumulate further.

“There will always be assholes in the world . It was the same back on Earth. The only thing that matters is how those you hold close think of you, Derpy,” Jonathan added, going back to massaging her ears.

He adjusted his seating position and brought her face close to his.

“Your eyes’ll be something you can never change, but honestly, I think it makes you… well, you,” he continued his somewhat cliché pick-me-up talk.

He continued:

“You’ve heard me say this before, but to tell you the truth, I really like them. I…” Jon chose his next words carefully. “I think they’re cute!”

Derpy’s expression took on a much more joking, incredulous one.

“Thinking my disability is cute? Gee thanks,” she rebutted, blowing him a raspberry.

Shit… salvage this, now!

“Is it a ‘disability?’ Does it meaningfully impact how you live?” he asked seriously.

“W-Well… I can still see pretty fine. I’m just all clumsy because my depth perception is kinda off,” she answered.

They've had had a similar talk before.

“Then it’s not a disability, but something else that makes you a bit more… unique,” Jonathan concluded, wanting to vomit at how this sounded, at least on his end.

But for Derpy, she ate it up completely, and smiled brightly at him from under the veil of her bangs. It wasn’t like he didn’t mean it, though… every word he just said were his true thoughts. He loved her eyes…

...he just loved her butt more.

“You always know what to say, huh,” Derpy commented, sniffling once more but decidedly perkier.

She wrapped her forelegs around Jonathan’s neck and gave him the biggest hug, one that imparted so many other emotions to him… especially one of gratitude.

“Thank you.”

“For what? It’s the truth,” Jon replied, holding her snugly against him, Derpy not releasing him.

“For always being there when I need somepony… you’ve really made my life that much sweeter, Jonathan,” Derpy spilled part of her heart, nuzzling his cheek and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Jonathan returned the nuzzles, thoroughly enjoying the pleasant exchange of warmth between him and the only mare he wanted to be around at the moment.

Derpy finally removed herself from their tight embrace, but closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against Jon’s… and then rubbed the tip of her snout against his nose. Simultaneously… something awoke in them. The pilot light was sparked and suddenly, butterflies began diffusing through the lowest cavities of their stomachs… more so when they stumbled upon a particular fact of their facial positioning: the proximity of their lips. Their eyes locked onto each other and their breaths hitched in their throats.

Their mouths were millimeters apart, and quickened, heated breath was exchanged between the two of them as they refused to avert their eyes from each other. Arms firmly wrapped around Derpy’s back and nestled comfortably under her wings, Jonathan peered down into the pegasus mare’s cross-eyed gaze, one that held so much warmth and exuded so many powerful, positive emotions towards him that he could practically feel. Against his chest, her heart was racing… as was his own. Other than the variable frequency of wood cracking in the fireplace, the only sound that was most prominent was each other’s heavy breathing. At this point, Jonathan was not exactly certain where to go… they were in a compromising position, and it would only take the tiniest bit of initiative to set either of them toppling over the edge and taking that leap of faith that both parties so desired.

They cast their ogling looks onto each other for what seemed like a small eternity, until Derpy made the bold move of closing the negligible gap between their lips with the softest of kisses. She pressed her lips to Jonathan’s with a delicateness one might show a newborn; a prodding, tremulous gesture to see how the human would react to her advance. Jonathan’s heart seemed to explode, a newfound vigor beating within his chest. The butterflies that seemed to be held captive within the lower half of his abdomen were suddenly set free to roam as they pleased throughout his entire body. While his conscious thought reacted shocked at Derpy’s forwardness, the rest of his being seemed to be awash with relief and cheered the two finally being joined.

Sensing no active rejection from the human, Derpy decided to test the waters a bit more and press her lips much more firmly against his own, both pairs now being able to morph over each other in a true definition of a kiss. This brought Jonathan out of his stupor and he needed no extra encouragement to take some initiative for his own damn self.

Pulling her flush against his front, Jon tilted his face so their joined lips could work over each other at a more natural angle. Eyes fluttered closed all while Derpy and Jonathan merely held each other in a chaste yet heated embrace… heat which emanated mostly from each other’s very cores rather than the fireplace.

Nothing else mattered but holding each other close and just… kissing… kissing like a lovestruck highschool couple who swore that they found their first and only love.

Jonathan’s hold on Derpy strengthened to the point where she could feel his strong abdominal muscles against her tummy… a feeling that sent another wave of warmth through her center. All the while, she took the liberty of wrapping her front legs around his neck, making sure he stayed right where he was—pressed against her lips—lest he get any funny ideas of leaving. Respective grips became noticeably tighter and almost desperate, as if they were worried the other party would leave and never return; a silly notion, but a very real notion nonetheless.

They did have to separate eventually, though… while there was no obstruction to breathing, the sheer excitement and adrenaline that cut through swaths of their previous inhibitions required more air than they could get in their situation. Dopey expressions being sported and cheeks colored, Derpy and Jonathan opened their eyes as their lips parted, looking at each other in the same yet an entirely different light than just a couple minutes prior.

And to Jonathan, the mare sitting in his lap was the most gorgeous mare in the world.

“Whoa…” Derpy broke the silence, still in some bit of a trance from their little activity. Her eyes, lidded, seemed to stare straight through Jonathan and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. The human wasn’t faring much better.

“Yeah… I’ll say,” he echoed the same sentiment. Neither party relinquished their hold on the other, but Derpy’s rational thought came back, and with it, brought a silly (in Jonathan’s mind) but very real concern for her.

“T-That wasn’t a mistake… right? That wasn’t… you know…” she struggled to voice her fears, ears beginning to flatten against her head but Jonathan would not allow her to feel this way in such a moment.

His answer to her came in the form of him leaning down and planting his lips right back on hers. Truth be told, the same exact question suddenly ran through his mind when they had separated initially, but hearing the sincerity in Derpy’s words… a ‘say it isn’t so’ chord echoed the exact answer in tone that mere words on their own couldn’t convey.

All fears suddenly allayed, Derpy absolutely melted in Jonathan’s hold, half her body feeling as if it went slack. Her instinct soon took over, though, and she returned the new kiss with equal vigor, pushing back against Jonathan’s little advance with one of her own. Derpy pawed at Jon’s chest, tracing her hoof over his well-defined and rock-hard pecs; she shuddered hopefully at the thought of them bare against her.

As if reading each other’s minds, their joined mouths opened as one, letting their tongues snake forward and embrace each other as eagerly as they themselves were. Jonathan’s hands decided to roam on their own accord, fingers parting their own vertical paths up and down through Derpy’s soft coat while the two friends—clearly now more than friends—tasted each other for the first time. Jonathan noted that Derpy’s taste was almost identical to her natural aroma: blueberry muffins.

In fact, it almost made him wonder if her ‘muffin’ also adhered to the pattern…

Again, the two separated after an unknown amount of time, this time with two shimmering strands of saliva that continued to connect their increasingly sore lips. The lull in their oral attacks allowed them to share a moment, taking in each other’s form and the ethereal glow that they gave off from sheer happiness at what had transpired… the light of the fire dancing on each other’s expression and providing a physical projection of the actual fires beginning to burn within.

Derpy bit her lip and lidded her eyes in bated anticipation, her change in demeanor and the accompanying look she was putting forth drove Jonathan absolutely insane. In a loaded, yet cozy silence, the two just held each other. Proper googly-eyed looks of profound caring and growing lust were exchanged, and these were further reinforced when Derpy slid both of her hooves down his upper chest and let them come to rest right on his pecs.

Jonathan flexed for her just a little bit, and Derpy giggled adorably while averting her face out of slight embarrassment at having enjoyed the gesture. Her expression instantaneously changed, though, when in return, Jonathan let his hands ride down her back and gingerly cup her supple haunches.

His fingers molded naturally to the curvature, and the sudden contact on her rear forced Derpy to voluntarily perk up, her lips forming an adorable ‘o’ before glancing at the foreign presence on her butt. Confirming her suspicions, Jonathan had planted his hands firmly over her cutie marks and held her under her flanks.

The feeling of his strong hands securely keeping her in place by her ass sent another shiver of pleasure up her spine. Derpy turned her head back to Jonathan smiled impishly. Charmingly, her eyes had righted themselves for the moment.

“Y-You’ve been looking at that all day... haven’t you?” she pointed out the obvious in an attempt to be ‘sexy.’ It worked.

“Longer. Can you really blame me?” Jon retorted with a sly smirk, starting to gently sink his fingers into her fleshy flanks. “These are just perfect.”

Derpy bit her lip again and tried her best to suppress the moan that threatened to worm its way out of her mouth, but the result came out as a little squeak of pleasure. The positive reaction spurred Jon onward, and he moved onto properly massaging her flanks, kneading her cushy rear but still feeling the nice bit of muscle that rested underneath, courtesy of the mail route she had to both run and fly.

“Mmmmm…” Derpy moaned, letting her eyes close and allowing Jonathan to do as he pleased, relishing in the rigidity of his grasping fingers.

Her body felt tingly all over and it was futile to try and hide her face, completely awash in comfortable pleasure. Her cheeks were noticeably colored, contrasting with her coat color and a small sheen of sweat began making itself known on her forehead.

Not that Jonathan was in any better straits. His clothes were already becoming much too warm.

“Ohhh!” she squeaked out when Jonathan gripped her that much more firmly.

Leaning her body forward a bit more to grant him better access to her butt only served to bring her into contact with a foreign bulge that made itself known in Jonathan’s pants. Almost immediately, she stopped what she was doing to observe just what poked her in the lower stomach… and it did not take much to confirm her suspicions.

As for Jon, he went about massaging those flanks that he had so longed to get his hands on. There was really nothing he could say that could enhance the moment once Derpy discovered his raging hardon that he began to sport through their makeout session. Thankfully, she wasn’t revolted nor scared, but rather, curious and especially surprised, given the size of said bulge. Then again, to her, Jonathan was already a hulk of a human, so perhaps this should not have been too surprising, all things considered.

“Is that for me…?” she asked, locking eyes with him with the most innocent, (albeit cross-eyed) stare she could purposefully muster. Jonathan twitched inside his pants, and her faux-bemusement soon became a knowing, lustful smile.

Coyly, he answered:

“Maybe…”

Derpy met his mouth with another kiss, this time making sure to press press her lower body, namely her quickly dampening marehood right onto that denim bulge. The extra grip on her ass encouraged her to rhythmically, yet tantalizingly slowly begin grinding herself into him. They moaned into each others mouths, allowing their tongues to once again fight for dominance and wrestle with each other. As the embrace became even more heated, and Derpy’s essence was slowly staining his pants, and their groaning only increased in volume. Jonathan removed himself from Derpy’s lips and latched himself straight onto her neck, eliciting another adorably arousing cry from her, though she was more engrossed in his hands still kneading their way into her haunches.

Soon enough, however, Derpy grew impatient and motioned for Jonathan to lean back. While he looked concerned as to why she was suddenly pushing him off (fearing he did something wrong), he couldn’t help but grin when she desperately tried to fiddle with his shirt, doing her best to lift it off of him, but to no avail… and she resorted to pawing his chest while looking up at him pleadingly, beseeching the human for his help in removing the troublesome garment.

Of course, he would oblige.

With a swift movement, his shirt was discarded, and Jonathan’s well-toned, muscular chest and abs were on display for nopony but Derpy. Her eyes seemed to right themselves again, and her jaw slightly dropped at the sight of her friend’s (and soon-to-be lover’s) bare torso. Her hooves roamed over his form as if they had minds of their own, tracing every little nook and cranny of his musculature as if memorizing it for the future. Her precise yet random movements were met with the subtlest tensing up from Jonathan, her actions tickling him just a little bit, though he certainly didn’t mind; Jonathan would let Derpy explore as much of him as she wished.

Sporting another smile of both hunger and endearment, Derpy sighed out blissfully and nuzzled herself into Jonathan’s chest, rubbing her face against those muscles that she felt so safe and secure in. All the while, the human took the liberty of continuing his earlier ministrations, massaging that perfectly-proportioned (in his opinion) flank of hers, but through it all, he dipped his hand a little too low and felt just how into this whole experience she actually was. A gentle, shuddered gasp from Derpy let him know that he indeed touched her in her most intimate area.

“Oh! S—” Jonathan’s apology for possibly overstepping his boundaries died on his lips when Derpy whimpered, replacing her nuzzling with licking.

She continued to outline his pecs and abs with her tongue, lapping away to her heart's content and leaving a thin sheen of her saliva as she went. It was the humans turn to groan, as never in his experience did any girl (there were only a few) do something like this. Letting his instinct take over again, he pressed his luck and dipped his hand low and under the haunches he couldn’t get enough of, pressing three of his fingers against her most sensitive spot and letting her wetness coat his digits.

“Ahhh~!” Derpy whined, all of her movements ceasing immediately when she felt the deliberate press against her damp netherlips.

Her eyes seemed to shut on their own accord. Further, her lip was bit almost painfully and all she felt like doing was resting her forehead against Jon’s chest and pressing her hips back into his hand, hoping he would continue his actions that were making her feel so incredible. Smiling down at the special mare and seeing that he had the green light to continue, Jonathan decided to make things a bit more natural, sweeping Derpy up in his arms and sitting her on the couch, switching places with her in an instant. Of course, the sudden change in position brought the pegasus back to reality, if only for a fleeting moment.

“Whoa...huh? What’re you doing, Jon?” she questioned, darting her eyes around for a second but seeing Jonathan looming over her quickly set her at ease.

The sexual hunger that had been engraved on her face for the last, unknown amount of time returned in full force. The human got to his knees and pulled her face to his, initiating another tender, open-mouthed kiss for a few seconds… though those few seconds definitely seemed like an hour to them.

When Jonathan separated, Derpy held her front legs against her chest, and Jonathan sank a bit lower on her body, brushing his lips at random down her chest, her tummy, between her teats, and ultimately, setting himself right in front of his target.

“Making you feel amazing… well, if you’ll let me?” Jonathan asked awkwardly, knowing that he was kind of assuming that everything was alright.

Still, those words came out much to contrived for his liking. To his pleasure, though, Derpy only blushed heavily and, covering half her face with her retracted hooves, she nodded a bit eagerly.

He really couldn’t get enough of those eyes, but with permission granted, Jonathan spread Derpy’s legs and came face to face with her winking marehood, love tunnel completely on display and framed by her labia like petals on the most beautiful flower in existence. He helped scoot Derpy down just a bit, allowing him to take a deep whiff of her natural musk, one which was just as sweet as he had envisioned. Jonathan’s actions sent immeasurable heat to Derpy’s face, feeling like she was being scrutinized in some way, but her worries were silenced when Jonathan took a tentative lick up her moist slit. Instead, apprehensiveness gave way into pure, unadulterated pleasure at the first contact of his muscle against the periphery of her entrance… and a startled cry flew unbidden out of her mouth at the sudden feeling.

Just as sweet as Jonathan imagined.

Gaining control of herself, Derpy resolved to shut her eyes once more and just feel, placing both of her hooves onto Jonathan’s head and holding him there while he continued to experiment with her. The heat of the room and the fire held no bearing on her temperature anymore, as Derpy’s internal temperature skyrocketed at the new sensations. Jonathan ran the tip of his tongue continuously up and down the length of her lips, from base to just below her clit, and through her groaning and whimpering, Derpy tried to entice him to choose a path… either to just jam his face into her muffin and eat to his fill, or assault her clit.

Moaning, mumbling, and softly calling his name were all she was capable of at the moment, so body language would have to help dictate and convey her carnal desires. Tenderly, Jonathan spread her lower lips open with his thumbs and glanced straight into her aching tunnel, able to feel each and every aching throb her flower produced with her elevated heartbeat. Feeling Derpy’s hooves attempt to subtly pull him in, he got the message immediately and pulled her hips to meet his lips halfway, worming his tongue past her crescent and beginning to grind it against her slick entrance.

“Jonathan…” Derpy groaned, beginning to subconsciously buck her hips against his movements.

Truthfully, it had been a long time since she had gotten any attention by anypony but her own hooves. But what Jonathan was lavishing her with… this was something else for her entirely, and her swollen marehood demanded more. So, with another cry when Jonathan hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her, she pulled his face into her as hard as she could.

“Hmmm?” he hummed into her, which sent those vibrations straight into her core by way of her pulsating muffin… and unfortunately, that sent her over the edge immediately.

Though she tried to stave it off, Derpy’s lack of action in the more recent and not-so-recent past contributed to her sensitivity, and she climaxed with a guttural moan that told Jon exactly what he suspected.

He continued to lick up any of her juices that dribbled down her slit. Further, he wormed his tongue up to her clit and sucked on it, forcing her to endure a prolonged, borderline painful orgasm.

“AAHH! Jonathan!” she almost pleaded, regaining some semblance of control to pull him off of her.

The human felt a sense of pride in being able to bring her to such a high state of euphoria, though he also conceded that maybe she was just a bit sensitive; he didn’t want to overstate his abilities and have it go to his head, after all. Still, what surprised him was that Derpy wasn’t in a post-orgasmic trance like he expected her to be when he locked eyes with her.

Rather, Derpy’s gaze was lidded, her iconic crossed eyes glazed over in a haze of lust that, were it not for Jon’s size, she would’ve probably jumped him on the spot. Instead, as Jon righted his posture, she got to her haunches and crushed her lips against his, not caring at all that she was tasting her own essence on his tongue.

“Mph… Ah! MMM!” Derpy moaned salaciously against Jonathan’s mouth, doing her best to literally suck his tongue and damn-near eat his face off if she had the chance.

Her insecurities and inhibitions vaporized under the powerful heat of her long-unsated sexual hunger which she was going to liberally take out on Jonathan. Derpy pried her lips off of the human’s, wishing to not waste any more time in trivialities that played little part in quelling the burning inferno within her lower body. So, with a whimper in her tone, she unceremoniously turned around and hunched low, pushing her ass straight into the air for Jonathan to see… and see he did.

It was impossible to miss Derpy’s swollen, dripping sex meeting his gaze tantalizingly from between her hind-legs.

She looked back to Jonathan from her left, wiggling her butt hypnotically at the man who seemingly could not stop staring at her rear.

With a frustrated whine, she made her grievances known:

“Ugh… come on Jonathan!” she pleaded, swinging her tail to the side and brushing it over his chest.

“Get it out and stuff it in me, please!”

Little convincing was necessary on Jon’s part, and within a few seconds, his pants and boxers were discarded, freeing his throbbing length which further excited Derpy when she laid eyes upon it. She beamed her approval at the human behind her and salivated at the imminent prospect of getting filled with her best friend’s rod. Jon, however, couldn’t resist the temptation to grasp both cheeks of her ass and squeeze them together before nestling his dick directly between the faux-cleavage.

“Fuuuuck…” Jon grunted at feeling his length framed perfectly by Derpy’s cheeks.

He began slowly running it through, bucking his hips with a modest rhythm while he spread his leaking precum all through her ass. Despite her initial pleas, Derpy rocked her hips in tandem with his thrusts, facilitating his thick shaft sliding between her perfect haunches.

“Uhn… Jon… I know you love my butt, but pleeeease stop teasing me!” Derpy implored. She pushed back against him, dislodging his dick from its oh-so comfortable wedge.

“You can do that any other time!”

“Alright,” Jon agreed, stroking his shaft a few times before pressing the head straight against her soaked slit. The resounding squelching that accompanied with the slight penetration burned into their minds forced a staggered moan out of both of them.

Slapping both of his hands to her flanks (which garnered an arousing moan out of the mailmare), he got to his feet and stood up just enough where he could align himself properly… but, there was a problem.

Jonathan quickly realized that his height put him in a very awkward position, and it wouldn’t be conducive to the proper dicking he wanted to give Derpy. So, with some quick thinking, he came up with a solution.

“This isn’t gonna work, let’s try something else,” he said, and without warning, suddenly adjusted their position where Derpy was on her back and Jonathan was between her legs.

Though, to make things more comfortable, he maneuvered her legs so that they rested flush against his front, which would also guarantee that she would be tighter around him.

“Umm… this is new,” Derpy voiced her opinion, though the pleasured complexion quickly returned when Jonathan ground his shaft over the length of her crescent.

“Not new for me… but it allows me to do this,” he punctuated his comment by leaning down and kissing her for the upteenth time, and if at all possible, she melted further.

As their lips took their rightful positions against one another, Jonathan lined himself up properly and tenderly slid his entire length into her, sheathing himself within her impossibly wet, velvety slit. Both shuddered at the feeling of finally being joined together so intimately. A profound warmth, unlike she had felt earlier, permeated through her entire body, wracking her in a different type of euphoria, one of feeling full; satisfied, yet not. She felt complete, but wanted even more, and after a few moments of making out and just enjoying the new feeling, Jonathan began retracting and bucking his hips with a gradual rhythm.

Their mouths separated for much needed air.

“Mmmm… Mmmmm…” Derpy moaned rhythmically, lidding her eyes further and succumbing to the slowly but surely building pleasure that Jonathan was giving her.

All she knew was that no stallion had showed her the tenderness and care that Jon was, and she did not want it to end, ever. What aroused her further was also the human’s soft grunting and panting, and the expression that formed on his face as a result of her being able to pleasure him with her body. Every time Jonathan’s cock receded, Derpy almost felt sad, as if she was left with an abyssal emptiness… only for her to be proven wrong each and every time when his length bottomed out in her yet again.

“God you feel so amazing…” was all Jon could really say on his mind without being too weird about it.

It was the truth; Derpy felt impossibly good around him, though perhaps there was some bias from the fact he had not been laid the entire time he was in Equestria. Regardless, Derpy was surprisingly tight around him, and her love tunnel felt like it was trying to suck him back in each time he pulled out.

“MMM!” Derpy hummed loudly when Jonathan hit a particularly sensitive spot within her. “Ah! Don’t stop… faster… faster!” she moaned with a confidence he had never seen, but was more than happy to obey.

Jonathan pistoned his spire as deep as he could, slowly but surely picking up speed as his lover had so desired. Their heartbeats had formed a certain synchronicity with each other and their rhythm of lovemaking, the pleasure shooting into them in electric jolts beginning to well up gradually to a point of no return.

One thing remained constant: they never broke eye contact.

With how aching Jonathan was for a release, it was little surprise that he would not last as long as he expected, but Derpy was not in any better of a position. Jonathan never let up with beating his throbbing length into the mare beneath him, the combined chorus of moans, groans, pants, and schlicks overtaking all sound within the room… all complemented by the fire which continued to rage and cast dancing shadows upon the room and the two lovers.

“Jonathan…” Derpy moaned in such a way that she wordlessly conveyed her message perfectly: she was nearing her end.

To help her along, she dropped one of her hooves between them to try and massage her clit; easier said than done, but she managed.

“AAHH! Make me cum, Jon!” she cried out suddenly, startling the human out of his concentration with the sudden use of such profane, dirty language.

So, he switched his routine, and while keeping speed, he aimed for that special spot within her that garnered the strongest reactions, and the results were immediate. His cock ached and signaled his imminent climax, and the sudden, loud symphony of moans and cries flowing unbidden from Derpy’s perpetually open mouth further coaxed him to the edge. Grasping her flanks for extra leverage, Jon lifted her lower body to meet him, which allowed his dick to spear her right where Derpy craved it… where she absolutely needed it!

With one last cry to both Celestia and Luna, the pegasus mare’s climax crashed and broke over her like a tidal wave of unadulterated euphoria. Her lower body moved on its own accord at that point, and her wings suddenly splayed out with a mighty ‘pomf.’

The accompanying constriction around his member by Derpy’s spasming tunnel appeared to strangle him until Jonathan gave her womb the hot, creamy seed it demanded. A few more powerful thrusts into the mare ensured that this was so, and Jonathan came with a guttural groan and growl through bared teeth. He slammed his hips one last time against Derpy’s and jettisoned volley after volley of his essence into the depths of her velvety cavern, filling her up much to the mare’s delight.

There the two lay, panting and groaning at the slowly waning feelings of ecstasy while their foreheads were pressed together. Eyes were shut and their position never changed, Jonathan remaining buried within Derpy’s depths. Her front legs were still snuggly wrapped around Jon’s neck, and this facilitated a post-coital kiss once they calmed down a bit. Simultaneously, Derpy and Jonathan pressed their lips together and allowed their tongues to merely rest on each other, moaning and humming their approval and bliss directly into their mouths. There was no more lust left in this kiss… only another, much more prominent emotion that welled up inside and positively radiated from their actions:

Love.

With a gentle smack, their lips separated, and completely struck eyes opened and locked onto one another.

“Jonathan… wow…” Derpy spoke first, pure satisfaction lacing her every word as she relaxed into the couch pillow.

Still, she refused to avert her eyes from the human’s gaze above her. She didn’t rightly know what else she could say, as the amount of pleasure Jon brought her was beyond her vocabulary.

“Mmmm,” Jonathan replied wordlessly, smiling down on her with so much emotion that it made the pegasus mare blush giddily.

He cupped her left cheek with his right hand and lovingly stroked her with his thumb, Derpy humming softly as the warmth of his touch spread to her entire body. Though sweaty and spent, they remained connected at the most intimate of places and continued to revel in each other’s embrace.

They shared another kiss.

“So… what happens now?” Jonathan asked, still running his fingers through Derpy’s coat and her sweat-matted mane. “Are we… you know…”

Derpy suddenly looked fearful and sullen, her eyes drifting downward and ears flattening.

“...I hope…?” she asked weakly, glancing up at him with an anxious, hopeful expression. Her eyes, adorably crossed, told him all he needed to know. “You’re gonna be my muffin now, right?” Derpy followed up, holding her breath at Jon’s answer.

HNNNNNNNGGGG

After getting over the ‘kick in the feels’ that hit him right in the stomach, he only breathed a sigh and smiled brightly down at her. He placed yet another chaste kiss on her tired lips… for that was exactly what he was hoping to hear. Derpy was so eager to jump into this now after what they had done, and he could not have been happier to hear that.

“Of course I will,” he finally said, and the view of Derpy lighting up like a Christmas Tree.

However, he placed his index finger on the tip of her muzzle.

“Only on the condition that you’ll be my ‘bubble butt,’” Jon added in jest, getting in on the extraordinary amount of cheesiness being exchanged.

Surprisingly, rather than blushing madly and averting her gaze as Derpy was known for, she busted out laughing… which, naturally, was contagious, and Jonathan joined her in kind.

With a bright, beaming smile on her face, she promptly declared yet again:

“You know I hate that name!”

She just had to keep reminding him of her previous, vocal grievance with that little nickname. Her bright expression betrayed her true feelings, though.

“No you don’t,” Jonathan repeated while shaking his head, drawing on experience from the past and this evening.

“Hmmm… you’re right. I don’t,” Derpy agreed, beaming up at her ‘muffin’ and lovingly rubbing her snout against his nose.

In the end, though, Jonathan laughed to himself that he never once had to ask the fateful question verbatim.

Sometimes, words are simply not needed.

Author's Note

My entry to the Human X Pony sector. As per usual with my oneshots, I wrote with an idea, tried to strain my creativity and structuring ability, did basic editing, and published. My goal is to get better and better with each passing one, so hopefully this holds true as well! Perhaps a bit cheesy with a couple cliche moments but whatever, I loved writing it regardless.

Derpy deserved a more romantic intimacy, so I wrote it as such.

All comments are welcome and I appreciate any and all feedback. Enjoy! (hopefully)