Okay, so I said when I uploaded my other story that this one would be coming later because I wanted to rewrite it...but given its been about 4 months since I *started* on the rewrite and its still going through about revision 7 right now (I'm an overly paranoid writer) I figured 'why not'.
So, yeah I'll throw this up here for now and submit the rewrite once its completed, which will hopefully be soon...Hope you all enjoy :)
Letting Go
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Applejack sighed contently as the first rays of sunlight started to filter through her window, like any other day she rose with the dawn. Like any other day she stretched and smiled as her eyes cracked open.
Blinking several times, she instinctively rolled over, turning her back to the start of a beautiful morning and instead hoped to glimpse an even more beautiful sight…
Her smile swiftly faded however when she found herself staring at a pillow, the pony she expected to be there strangely absent. "Not like her." She mumbled, surprised that her companion would not only have gotten up so early, but not stayed around like she normally did.
Must be something important today if it got Rainbow Dash up before her orange coloured lover…
Pushing her disappointment aside she pulled herself out of bed and decided to simply start her day. Her personal feelings could wait until her chores were dealt with.
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Breakfast turned out to be unusually quiet today. This bothered Applejack somewhat. While it wasn't uncommon for them to focus on their meals, there was usually some form of conversation that happened. Today however everypony was intently focused on their food.
"Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful day." Applejack commented as her gaze wandered to the window. From what she could see of the sky there wasn't a single cloud to be seen.
"Eeyup." Big Mac responded with his usual one word answer. She barely suppressed a roll of her eyes at the response. When it came to conversation, her brother wasn't the best choice…
Shifting her gaze away from the window, she caught Applebloom looking at her from across the table. Her head was tilted just slightly and she seemed to be studying Applejack, searching for something. However upon realizing her sister was looking her way the filly was quick to focus solely on her breakfast.
"Is somethin' wrong sugarcube?" She asked causing Applebloom to hastily shake her head.
"No, just thinkin'." The younger pony responded, her gaze carefully avoiding Applejack's. She didn't for a moment sound convincing, and the way she avoided looking directly at her only made the farmer doubt her further.
Confused, she briefly considered pressing for details. Applebloom was always so upbeat and perky. Today though she looked depressed and distracted, hay even Big Mac seemed more reserved then usual, if that were even possible...eventually she decided to just drop the conversation. As much as she wanted to know what was going on, there was simply too much to do and she didn't have time for guessing games.
The farm pony resigned to finish her meal in silence and get started. There were a lot of apples to buck after all, and the sooner she got it done the sooner she could rejoin Rainbow Dash. And hopefully get an explanation for her sudden departure that morning.
"Well those apples ain't gonna buck themselves." Applejack commented with a weak smile, one Applebloom barely returned. Big Mac only offered his usual response.
Slipping her treasured hat on, she set off out into the fields and went to work, wiling away the hours until her job was done. She didn't even pay attention to her job, her eyes and mind constantly wandered skyward, hoping to catch a glimpse of the rainbow coloured streak as it darted from cloud to cloud, performing her own duties far above.
The sky was clear and the sun was shining brightly, a beautiful blue background that lacked the finishing touch, that cyan pony that Applejack sought. Where was she today?
"Sleepin' on another cloud again no doubt." Applejack said with a weak chuckle. She finally tore her gaze away from the sky, dismayed that she didn't get even a glimpse of her friend. Instead her eyes settled on the acres of apple trees. She had a lot of work to get done today, and she'd already wasted a good couple of hours with her thoughts.
She sighed quietly before forcing her attention back to the task ahead, regardless of where she wantedto be, she had a job to do. And, sadly that came first. Not for the first time that day she was forced to remind herself of that. Dash wasn't going to be founding sitting on a cloud day dreaming about her, not when she had a job to do!
Keeping that thought in mind, Applejack paused long enough to wipe the sweat from her forehead and tug her hat down a smidge further, blocking both the hot sun from her eyes, and in turn blocking her view of the sky in hopes it would keep her mind focused.
Luckily for her though, apple bucking was something she'd been doing since she was a filly, and her mind was free to wander even as she moved from tree to tree, kicking them hard enough to knock the apples loose before retrieving any that didn't fall into the baskets set at their bases.
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The hours spent working ticked by in silence. Big Mac was off tending to another part of the farm no doubt; Applebloom was off doing…whatever it is she did with her friends. Probably something dangerous that would result in them not getting their cutie marks…if only they'd learn a little patience, they'd find their one special talent when the time was right.
Kids these days…
Smiling slightly she risked a glance skyward and noted the sun was set high in the sky, making it around noon. Time for a quick break.
Making her way back to the farm with the intent of a quick lunch break, she was met halfway by a familiar yellow pegasus. "Fluttershy, Fancy seein' you here." Applejack greeted with a friendly smile, a smile her friend only weakly returned.
"Hello, Applejack…I, um, hope I'm not interrupting…" The pony mumbled, her eyes dipping down to her hooves. "I can, come back if it's a bad time." Before the earth pony could even blink, Fluttershy began creeping backwards, seemingly intent on leaving.
"Nah, I was just heading back for lunch. Care to join me?" She offered, her smile growing a little bolder in hopes of relaxing the pegasus. It faltered briefly when Fluttershy risked a peak through her mane, which had fallen down and partly obscured her face like always, she could see the obvious confusion and worry behind her eyes, though it was quickly masked when Fluttershy looked away again.
"Um, sure…that would be…nice." Her unease only grew as she heard the response, even for the constantly shy and nervous pony she seemed out of sorts, something was really bothering her it seemed.
Applejack decided against asking though. At least for the moment, Fluttershy would come around and speak up if it was something truly important. Instead she simply put on another smile and led the way back to the farm.
It didn't take long to reach the kitchen and round up something edible for herself and the pegasus.
Initially they ate in silence. Though that didn't surprise her too much, Fluttershy wasn't the most conversational of ponies. Though she quickly grew restless, being reminded of breakfast a few hours before and decided to speak up and say the first thing that came to mind in hopes of ending the awkward silence yet again.
"So…what's happenin' in Ponyville today?" Applejack asked casually, hoping she could steer the conversation towards the issue without her friend realizing.
"Oh, not, not much. The usual, things have been rather…quiet." Applejack caught another of those glances, but pretended not to notice as she picked at her food.
"Same old Ponyville then. Nothin' ever happens, an' when it does, it REALLY does." She commented with a chuckle, earning her first genuine smile from the pegasus. So far things had been peaceful for the quiet town, except for the brief moments of excitement with Discord or Nightmare Moon, the odd adventure helped spice up their rather quiet lives though, a little excitement now and again didn't hurt.
"Indeed…nothing happens." Fluttershy slowly trailed off, her gaze shifting to her hooves. Applejack could have sworn she spotted the faint traces of tears in her eyes right before she hid behind her mane.
The conversation dried up after that, neither being able to think of something to talk about and instead they just let the awkward silence take hold and stretch on.
Applejack risked a glance at the clock and noted they been here for almost an hour. "Welp…I better get back to the fields. I'd love to stay and chat some more, but, lots to do!" She offered another bright smile as she donned her hat once again. Fluttershy didn't return it this time.
"Um, if you don't, mi-mind my asking…Are you feeling oka-okay Applejack?" The pegasus finally asked the question she'd originally come here to ask.
The orange coloured pony simply gave her a puzzled glance, before shrugging slightly. "No different to any other day. Why?"
"No, no reason…"
"…Okay." Applejack frowned, what was going on today? First her family seemed very subdued and quiet. And now Fluttershy was asking how she was doing? Something was really not right today, and she really wanted to know what it was. However she decided against pressing the issue, at least with Fluttershy as any sign of aggression or tension would probably result in the poor pegasus fainting.
Maybe she could talk to Rainbow about it later. Once she decided to show her face after all…
Dash! She glanced at the clock again, noting that she had stayed around longer then she'd intended.
"I'll see ya later Fluttershy! I gotta get back to work, if I don't get everythin' done then I won't have any time for Rainbow!" She said eagerly, before darting towards the door.
"Wait!" Fluttershy called after her, but the earth pony was long gone, her eagerness to get back to work aiding her departure. "Poor girl." Fluttershy whispered under her breath as she followed Applejack to the door and glanced left and right. She'd already vanished amongst the trees though.
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It was late afternoon by the time Applejack finished working, tired but satisfied, she took the opportunity to head to town. With any luck she'd figure out what was going on and find Rainbow along the way. She didn't like to sound clingy or desperate…but an entire day without seeing neither hide nor hair of the pegasus was starting to fray her nerves.
The walk was peaceful enough, and upon reaching the town she noted nothing unusual. Maybe there was nothing wrong after all; maybe she was just worrying for nothing.
Upon entering the town however, her doubts started to resurface. Everypony she spotted watched her closely, some looked sad, others worried or confused, as though they didn't expect to see her or something.
This had been going on all day, and Applejack felt her blood starting to boil, what the hay was everypony's problem? Why was she seemingly the only one out of the loop on this matter?
Her eyes narrowed a touch as she glanced about in search of an explanation, and finally her gaze settled on the tree in the center of town. "Twilight, o' course!" She said quietly, a smile forming as she quickened her pace and set off towards the library. If anyone would know and give her a straight answer, it would be the unicorn that ran it.
Approaching the door, she lightly knocked on the door several times, earning a muffled "Coming!" From the other side, good Twilight was home…
The door briefly glowed, before swinging open, revealing the purple coloured unicorn. Upon meeting her gaze, Applejack offered a smile, which faded when Twilight simply sighed and glanced down at her hooves.
"Applejack…Right on time." She muttered softly, though not soft enough that it went unnoticed.
"Didn' know I was expected." The earth pony responded, her eyes narrowing a touch at the odd greeting.
"I, um…sorry…" Twilight gave her a nervous smile, before steeping back. "Please, come in." Still frowning, she complied and followed her friend into the library, the door swiftly closed behind her.
"How are you feeling?" Twilight asked her head tilting slightly as she studied the farmer. "Had a, good day I hope?" Applejack responded with a harsh glare.
"Why in the hay does everypony keep askin' me that?" She snapped, surprisingly, the unicorn only blinked slowly, seemingly expecting the outburst. "Why is everypony lookin at me like I'm sick or somethin'!" She demanded her confusion and anger that had built up all day coming out in a rush. "And where's Dash? I haven't seen her all day!" The last question came out with the others instinctively, without her even realizing she'd said it.
"Applejack…I…" Twilight sighed, her eyes closing as she glanced away, trying her best to hide the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "It's a bit of a long story…"
"I ain't goin' anywhere." Applejack responded slowly, her patience at an end. She wanted to hear what was going on, NOW.
Twilight finally looked at her again, and she almost regretted her outburst upon seeing the pain in her eyes. "You really don't remember…do you?" The unicorn said slowly, picking her words carefully and watching the ponies face for any reaction.
"Remember what? That everypony is hiding somethin' from me?" She snapped, despite her words, she felt a strange sense of dread creeping into her bones. And she began to wonder if she actually wanted to hear whatever it was that was being kept from her…
"Applejack…Rainbow…she's…she's gone…" Twilight said so quietly that the earth pony had to strain to hear her. "She's gone…" A stray tear started to run down the purple ponies face. "She was practicing a new stunt, her 'best one yet'…" Twilight sniffed quietly, a hoof moving to wipe her face as more tears formed.
"She was sure it would get her into the Wonderbolts if she could perfect it…" Applejack was struggling to keep her own emotions in check; this had to be a joke, right? Rainbow was playing a trick on her and had roped everypony into it. She was going to give the pegasus a piece of her mind when she found her.
"Something went wrong though…we don't know what…but she, she crashed…" Twlight was struggling to speak as her words dissolved into sobbing. "She's dead…there was nothing anypony could do."
Applejack felt her heart shatter at the news, either Twilight was a better actor then she thought, or this was real. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Applejack!" Finally she broke down into full sobbing, unable to continue.
The earth pony was silent for a few moments, eyes glistening as tears overtook her as well; however after a few moments, she steeled herself and lightly slammed a hoof into the ground. "NO! I'd know if that happened! I'd remember!" Not pausing for thought, she spun on her heel and darted out the door, the weak cries for her to come back falling on deaf ears.
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By the time the confused and heart broken pony returned to the farm, it was well past nightfall. Though even in the near pitch black conditions, she easily navigated her way to her home, through the gate and vanished into the trees.
After a few moments of searching, she finally located her goal, one particular tree that stood out amongst all the others.
It was no different of course; it was just another apple tree in a whole field of them. But this one, despite its lack of uniqueness, always stood out to the pony.
This was where her life had taken a turn for the better, it was under that very tree, a full year ago that she'd finally caved, thrown caution to the wind and told Rainbow Dash how she truly felt, admitted that she loved her…
A smile crept onto her face as she approached it. It was here they'd shared their first kiss. That Dash had admitted the feelings were mutual. Here they'd spent their first night together, where they promised that no matter what. They'd always be together.
Slumping down next to it, she stared blankly into the darkness, tears obscuring her vision, Twilight's words still ringing in her ears. "She's dead! I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Applejack!"
No! It was a lie; it had to be…Dash wasn't gone. She couldn't be…
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The full moon soon crept over the tree line, bathing the sobbing earth pony in its pale light. Hours had passed since she'd arrived, since she'd started her long wait. She was determined to prove Twilight wrong. She was determined to prove that, she would wait here all night until Rainbow came and found her. Proved to her that she wasn't…wasn't…
More tears ran down her face, soon joining the steadily growing puddle around Applejack's muzzle. "Rainbow, where are ya?" She called out between sobs. Slowly, she was starting to accept the situation. Somehow it was real, this wasn't some horrible dream that wouldn't end…Slowly she came to realize Twilight wasn't joking…Dash wasn't here; she wasn't going to drop out of the sky and rescue her from this nightmare.
Her hopes were briefly kindled when she heard the faint clopping of hooves approaching, her head lifted and she eagerly sought out the source of the sound. Though hope soon led to dismay and more tears when she caught sight not of the cyan pegasus she yearned for, but the purple coloured unicorn she'd abandoned earlier.
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Twilight said slowly, repeating it several more times as she approached and carefully laid down next to her friend, one foreleg gently wrapped around Applejack and pulled her into a gentle embrace.
"Why…why can't I remember anything? I swear I saw her just yesterday! I was sleeping next to her just last night!" She asked between sobs, still a small part of her clung to the hope that this was a dream, that she could wake up and would find Rainbow Dash sound asleep next to her in her…their bed.
"I don't know. I believe it's the pain that's making you forget." Her friend said softly, her tone taking on a comforting edge that failed to sooth the pain they both felt.
"How long?" Applejack asked, earning a confused sound from the unicorn. "How long has she been…been…" She couldn't say it, and thankfully Twilight took the initiative.
"Two weeks…two weeks ago today." She responded, causing Applejack's weak sobs to return full force. "Somehow you've blocked it out. You've been repeating the same day over and over. I think believe you're heart, you're mind is refusing to let go and move on...every day you wake up believing Rainbow's just missing, you spend the day looking for her. And eventually you come to the library and demand to know."
Applejack offered a slight nod but couldn't respond, her tears silencing her. "Every day you refuse to accept it and come here. Eventually you accept it and go home, only to wake up the next morning and repeat the process. I've tried to help in everyway I can, but nothing helps."
Several minutes ticked by, then an hour. And Twilight simply ran a hoof up and down Applejack's back and through her mane while the earth pony let out all her grief, two weeks worth of mourning and pain all coming out in one fell swoop, Just like it had every night before.
Finally, after what felt like hours, Applejack managed to find her voice. "Thanks, Twilight…I'm sorry for…for putting you through all this…"
Her friend simply smiled softly. "Its not you're fault…we all deal with the pain our own way. Just remember, were all here for you. That no matter what, you still have you're friends, and were here for you Applejack."
Twilight paused, before sparing a glance towards the stars. "And just remember that somewhere up there, Rainbow Dash is watching over you too."
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The pair remained by that tree all night, both of them either sobbing quietly, or Applejack asking various questions about the past two weeks and most importantly, how Rainbow had died. She still couldn't believe it, but by now she'd stopped denying it.
Eventually she'd asked the question, even though she didn't want to know, she'd asked to see Rainbow one last time.
They didn't have to go far it turned out. Twilight led her around the tree, and to a small stone inset into the ground. Rainbow Dash's name carved into its face.
Another hour was lost to grief and tears…then the night…finally Applejack simply ran out of tears to shed and drifted into an uneasy sleep, Twilight never once leaving her side during the ordeal.
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Morning came, and despite everything Applejack rose with the dawn like always. Though this time she didn't wake with a smile, she didn't wake looking for Rainbow Dash. This time around, she woke knowing exactly where her lover was…exactly where she would always be from this day onwards.
Applejack had asked for a moment alone, which Twilight had granted her. This was her first chance to properly say goodbye since the accident, finally she'd stop living in the past and move on. It wouldn't be easy, but the endless repetition of the past two weeks had to end sometime it seemed, and today was that day.
"You were always pushin' to hard." She shook her head as she plucked her hat from her head and pressed it against her chest. "Always planning some new stunt that was more dangerous and boneheaded then the last. You just had to take it to far you stupid foal!" More tears came, but she refused to shed them.
"How could you do this to me, to all of us?" She snapped, anger coming first, and then sorrow shortly after. "Ya went where I can' follow Dash. Not yet." Sobbing quietly, she stepped forward and placed her hat on top of the grave.
"I loved ya Rainbow. I'll never stop lovin' you." She paused to wipe the tears from her face, before hanging her head in a moment of silence. "Goodbye Rainbow Dash. I hope, wherever you are. You're happy, and thinkin' about me, just like I always will be thinkin' of you."
She gave the grave one last, lingering stare. Before turning away and setting off for home…
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Yeah rereading bits of it as I add the line breaks. I can see spots that need improvement :/ But hey, I think its still a good story regardless. Hope you enjoyed reading it :) And hopefully the revised version will be even better!
