Hitmare

Chapters

Alone
The Coming Dawn
Regret

Alone

Rarity crouched low in the brush as she readjusted her magical grip on the knife floating close to her side. She let out shallow, inaudible breaths as she waited for her prey to come nearer. The scouts were herding her target closer. Maybe just this once they'd catch her before Rarity needed to get involved. She wouldn't have to get her knife bloody, and the threat to her queen's rule would be ever more secure. Rarity allowed herself to lose focus for a brief moment and looked up at her queen's glorious moon. The mare on the moon scarred the surface, but Rarity would never dare say so. She had moments where she wished that her queen was still there instead of Princess...

No, even thinking her name was treasonous. Rarity shifted her focus away from the moon and swiveled her ear in the direction of the sound of twigs snapping. She'd be here soon. No luck with having the Shadow Guard deal with it themselves. Her queen didn't need them for that. Not when she had a real killer at her disposal.

A pony burst through the bushes not ten hooves away from Rarity. Before she could take five steps, Rarity pounced. She slammed into her target and hit her with an uppercut just before they hit the ground. Rarity landed on top of the pony and swung with the knife, slicing her across the back of her left foreleg. The pony screamed, but didn't attempt to stand back up. Rarity neatly got to her hooves and pulled a cloth out of the bag strapped to her side to begin cleaning the knife.

"You shouldn't have run," Rarity said. "You shouldn't have disobeyed. You knew that our glorious queen would find you eventually. She is all-knowing. None can escape her, especially not one such as you."

"Go to Tartarus!" Golden Harvest spat as she scooted away from Rarity. "You're not Rarity! The real Rarity wouldn't do this!"

"Our queen is merciful," Rarity continued as though Golden Harvest hadn't said anything. "Should you go before her and beg her mercy, she will grant it. All of us are her children. She would welcome you back."

"Rarity please!" Golden Harvest pleaded as Shadow Guards came through the treeline to surround them. "This isn't you! The Coming Dawn would welcome you into our ranks, I know they would! Even after everything you've done, they would still forgive you! We know you're just being brainwashed or threatened or something!"

"The Coming Dawn is a traitorous organization. The only way I shall interact with them is if they're on the other side of my knife. I am giving you one last chance. Our queen is glorious and forgiving."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Golden Harvest snarled as Rarity finished wiping her knife down. "You can still atone for your friends and parents! Make them proud of you for not giving up in the end! You don't have to orphan any more fillies and colts! You can save Equestria with us!"

"Many have tried to sway me from my role, and all have failed. You will not trick me into joining the terrorists that make up the Coming Dawn." Rarity took a step closer and pressed the tip of the knife into Golden Harvest's throat. "I'm giving you one last chance for mercy."

"We're going to win, Rarity. Nightmare Moon won't reign forever. When Celestia is free and in her rightful place, we'll see if she gives you mer--"

Rarity drew the edge of the blade across Golden Harvest's throat, silencing her for good. Behind her the Shadow Guard cheered, some even congratulating her. Rarity didn't listen to them. She began methodically cleaning her knife with the cloth.

"Prepare her body to go before Nightmare Moon. I want it ready before I meet with her."

"Yes, Miss Rarity," one of the Shadow Guards said. "May I once again congratulate you for your impeccable service to our queen."

'You may, I suppose, but I doubt I'll care much," Rarity said, sliding the cloth and knife into her bag. "Just do as I ask. Our queen wishes for us to be punctual in these matters. She will want a report on the hunt within an hour."

The Shadow Guards bowed to Rarity and moved around Golden Harvest's body to begin their work. Rarity began walking back to Midnight Castle without a word.

* * * *

Rarity walked through the halls of Midnight Castle, ignoring the salutes and bows she received from the servants and soldiers. She couldn't be bothered to pay attention to their genuflection. She had other matters to attend to. Rarity reached the massive double doors that led to her queen's throne room and opened them herself without waiting for the guards flanking them to do it for her. The throne room was nearly empty, with the only decorations being one stained glass window showcasing Nightmare Moon's defeat of Celestia, and another showing her defeat of the would-be Elements of Harmony. On the far side of the room stood a large gold throne with a black, armored alicorn sitting on it. In front of her some peon or other was bowing and scraping. No doubt she wanted mercy for some family member or friend.

When Nightmare Moon saw Rarity enter, she raised her hoof. The peasant stopped speaking immediately. Nightmare Moon signaled two of her guards, then pointed at the peasant. Without a word, the guards escorted the peasant out of the room. Rarity caught a glimpse of the other pony's face as she passed, and felt a small trace of familiarity. She knew the pony. She had some sort of candy name, Rarity thought. Bons? Something like that.

Rarity stopped before Nightmare Moon's throne and bowed low. "My queen, it is done." She lit up her horn and placed a burlap bag on the floor before Nightmare Moon. "The head of another terrorist."

"You are truly gifted, Rarity," Nightmare Moon crooned, taking the bag in her own magic to look inside. "You have exceeded all of my expectations about your abilities."

"You are too kind, my queen," Rarity said with another bow.

"I think we should put this one in the trophy room with the rest," Nightmare Moon said, setting the bag down next to her. "Though if you continue with your fine work, we might need to get a second trophy room. The current one is becoming rather cluttered."

"If that is what my queen desires," Rarity said mechanically.

"I desire to see your accomplishments properly acknowledged. You are my most valuable servant, and I reward that kind of service. I foresee you doing many great things."

"You flatter me, my queen."

"I do not flatter, merely say the truth." Nightmare Moon picked the bag back up and floated it over to a nearby soldier, who saluted and left the room. "But until then, I have another reward for you."

Rarity tilted her head. "A reward, my queen?"

"Yes. One I think you'll like. I've been searching for this reward for a few years now. I regret that I was not able to secure it sooner for you, but it's here now."

"You honor me, my queen."

"You honor me. I am merely rewarding that service." Nightmare Moon motioned to a side door with her wing. "You'll find your reward in the dungeons. Anything you wish to do, do it. She is yours. If you require anything, let me know and I shall see to it. You can even keep her as your slave if you so desire."

"Yes, my queen. Thank you, my queen."

With another bow, Rarity exited through the side door. She walked down the torch-lit stairs to the dungeon, vaguely wondering who Nightmare Moon had captured for her. It couldn't be one of the friends she had entered the forest with. Nightmare Moon had already executed them. Maybe somepony else from Ponyville? Rarity couldn't imagine who from there would warrant her queen's attention.

She reached the bottom step and entered the dungeon. A few Shadow Guards were sitting around a candlelit table playing cards. They all shot to attention when she entered the room, one of them bumping into the table on his way up and knocking it over. Rarity's gaze followed a poker chip as it rolled on the floor, coming to a stop when it bumped into her hoof. She looked back up at the guards, all of whom were shaking.

"Our queen said that you have something for me."

The guards all exchanged glances as if surprised that she hadn't killed them already. After a moment, one of them looked back at her and nodded.

"Y-yes, Miss Rarity. Let me get the keys."

The guard lit his horn and took a ring of keys off of a hook on the wall behind them while his friends got to work gathering up all of the spilled poker supplies. He led Rarity to a solid wooden door and fumbled with the keys for a moment before putting the right one in and unlocking it.

"Our queen says that you can have as much time down here as you desire."

"Yes. I can. I am not to be disturbed, no matter what you hear, is that understood?"

"Yes, yes," the guard said, bowing low. "Let us know if you need a cleanup crew and we'll get one for you immediately."

"I might need one at some point, yes. For now, leave me alone."

The guard began backing away and muttering something Rarity didn't really pay attention to. She entered the room and closed the door behind her.

She studied the pony who had been offered to her for a moment. She was hanging by her forelegs from the ceiling, the chains holding her up digging into her skin. Her horn had been removed recently, it appeared, as the hole still oozed some blood. The mare was crying, but when she saw that Rarity had come into the room, her eyes widened and she let out a piercing scream.

"Hello, Annie," Rarity said, taking a case of knives out of her bag. "You managed to hide from our queen for two years? I'm impressed. I don't even know if I could hide that long if the thought struck me."

"You don't have to do this," Annie moaned. "Please don't hurt me. I'll do whatever you want, just don't torture me."

Rarity studied Annie for a few more seconds before responding. "Annie, I'm not going to torture you." A shred of hope entered Annie's eyes. "I will be honest: there's not much that will be left of you once I'm finished, but believe me when I say that I am only keeping up appearances. I am going to kill you, Annie, but I will make it quick."

A confused frown creased Annie's face. "Why? Why aren't you going to torture me? A-after what happened in the woods that day, then hearing what you were doing for Nightmare Moon, I thought..."

"That I was some psychopathic killer who only wanted to hurt ponies?" Rarity shook her head. "We all have our roles to play in our queen's world. This is mine. The reason I'm going to make this quick for you is because..." Rarity lowered her head and sighed. "I can't remember the last time I was able to show mercy to a pony." Rarity raised her head again and pulled out one of her knives. "I am going to need you to do what I ask. Just scream, Annie. Scream as loud as you can so that they believe I'm hurting you. I'm going to kill you, but I will make it as painless as I possibly can." Rarity walked up to Annie and poked her leg with the tip of her knife. "Scream. Make it convincing."

Annie took in a deep breath and let out such a loud scream that Rarity had to flatten her ears. Before Annie could finish the scream, Rarity slashed Annie's throat, killing her in seconds. Without pausing, Rarity went back over to her case of knives and opened it up.

* * * *

Four hours later, Rarity exited the room. Her coat, uniform and short mane were still immaculate thanks to a protection spell that allowed her to stay clean. She put the case of knives back in her bag and shut the door behind her. The previous guards were still on duty. They'd returned to their poker game. When they noticed her approach, they snapped to attention again, though this time they didn't knock the table over.

"Miss Rarity. Will you be needing a cleanup crew?"

"I suppose I will. Have her head brought to the trophy room. I don't care what you do with the rest of it. Feed it to the dogs, maybe."

"Yes, Miss Rarity," one of the guards said with a bow. "Though if I may say so..." He hesitated for a moment. "Far be it from me to question your methods, but... I didn't hear too much screaming. You didn't kill her right off, did you?"

"No. I muzzled her after the first cut. I'm tired from the day. I didn't care to hear her screaming in my ear for hours. Trust me: she suffered more than she thought possible."

"Ah, yes, that makes sense," the guard said, bowing again.

"And if you ever question my torture methods again, I shall ensure that you receive a personal demonstration of them."

The guard backed into the table and nearly knocked it over again, babbling apologies. Rarity ignored him and left the dungeon.

* * * *

"Sweetie Belle? I'm back."

Rarity closed the door of her personal room behind her and flipped on the lights. A serving tray sat on a table in the middle of the room. Rarity walked up to it and took the lid off, grimacing when she saw the food untouched. She quietly sighed and picked up the tray with her magic. She walked over to a nearby door and knocked three times. Hearing nothing, she pushed the door open.

"Goodness, Sweetie Belle, you need to turn on the lights in here." Rarity set the tray down on a nearby table and turned on the lights, revealing Sweetie Belle lying on top of her bed, curled up into a ball. Rarity sat down next to her on the bed and began running a hoof over her back.

"Sweetie Belle, you need to eat. I don't want you to go on like this." Sweetie Belle didn't respond, so Rarity picked her up and hugged her to her chest. She fought back tears and gently nuzzled the top of her sister's head. "Big sister is sorry, Sweetie Belle," Rarity whispered. "You know I hate this. You know if I had any other choice I would tell Nightmare Moon to go to Tartarus, no matter the consequences to me. I don't want to be this. You know that." Rarity took a shaky breath as tears began dripping onto Sweetie Belle's mane. "The Coming Dawn is getting stronger, Sweetie Belle. Maybe we won't have to do this much longer. Princess Celestia will come back and she'll get this wretched necklace off of you."

Rarity grimaced and gently ran her hoof over the necklace fused to Sweetie Belle's neck. Every day Rarity wished she could take it off. Then she could finally throw herself from the top of Midnight Castle and die without killing Sweetie Belle too. But the necklace was the one leash Nightmare Moon kept on Rarity. One sign of defiance, one attempt to kill herself, and the necklace would stop Sweetie Belle's heart in an instant.

"Just be brave for me like I know you can," Rarity continued. "Help is coming. I do believe that. We won't have to live this life forever." Rarity lit her horn and floated the tray over to Sweetie Belle. "Until then, can you just eat for me please? It's... it's the best food in the whole empire. You'll love it, I know you will. If you don't like it, I'm sure we can get you something else. Just eat, please?"

Sweetie Belle didn't move for a few moments. She merely stared at the wall in front of her. Rarity opened her mouth to begin begging her sister to eat again, but stopped when she saw Sweetie Belle slowly reach a hoof out and take an apple. Rarity smiled in relief and kissed her sister's head.

"That's right. Eat up. I know you'll enjoy it. You eat up. I'll be in the next room over, okay? If you need anything at all, just let me know."

"I need Mommy and Daddy back," Sweetie Belle said, her voice almost inaudible. "I wanna go home."

Rarity's smile fell, but she didn't respond. She merely set Sweetie Belle back down on her bed to let her eat. She went back to her own room and locked the door behind her. She lit up her horn and slid her uniform off, hissing in pain when the cloth rubbed against a wound that hadn't quite healed. She folded her uniform and placed it on the dresser next to her bed before pulling a knife out of her bag. She cast the protection spell on the floor below her before pulling out a bloody sheet and setting it down on the floor. She sat down on the sheet in front of a full length mirror and studied her body. Many of her dozens of scars hadn't completely healed quite yet. She poked at one on her shoulder that seemed like it could get infected soon.

Rarity grasped the knife in the crook of her foreleg and gently ran the tip over her chest, not using enough force to actually penetrate the skin. She could create a new scar, or re-open an existing one. Decisions, decisions. As long as she didn't bleed out or injure herself in a way that would hinder her performance, her queen didn't care what she did to her own body.

Rarity extended her right foreleg and began dragging the knife across a clean patch of fur, creating a bright red line of blood. It wasn't suitable atonement, not really, but it would have to do. She began pressing the knife deeper into the wound, ignoring the blood dripping from her leg onto the sheet.

Maybe this one time she could cut too deep.

No, then Sweetie Belle would die.

She began to wonder, not for the first time, if that would be such a terrible thing in the long run.

No, the Coming Dawn would defeat Nightmare Moon. Then her sister could be free.

She had no illusions about Princess Celestia granting her clemency, not after all she'd done. If Sweetie Belle was taken care of, that would be enough for her.

Just as she pulled the knife away from her skin, she heard a loud knock on the door to her chambers. She grimaced and cast a quick healing spell on her leg, causing the wound to appear several days old. She stood up, put her supplies away, and began putting her uniform on as the pony knocked again. Probably another hunt from her queen.

Maybe this would be the last one. Maybe just this once she would make a mistake. One bad enough to get her captured or killed. Sweetie Belle would die if she were killed, though. Maybe she could find some way to let the Coming Dawn know that if she were killed, an innocent filly would also die.

Maybe she'd be stuck doing this forever.

But no, she had to hope that one day things would get better. She had to hope for both her and Sweetie Belle. Nopony else had any.

The Coming Dawn

A blast shook the throne room door, but it held strong. A dozen ponies were holding it shut, while more still were tearing the throne room apart, hoping to find anything to barricade it. Nightmare Moon stood before her throne, her horn lit and her teeth gritted.

"Hold fast, my loyal subjects!" Nightmare Moon roared. "My beloved sister is trying to come through! She may succeed, but if she does, fight to the last mare! Do not let her take you alive!"

"My queen, the castle has been breached," Rarity said calmly. "I fear this fight may be done."

"It is not over until either Celestia or I lays dead upon the ground!" Nightmare Moon insisted. "I will make her long for the days she was trapped on the cold, barren moon!"

The door shook again, and Rarity noticed a thin bead of sweat rolling down Nightmare Moon's face. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Celestia was breaking through.

"I... I cannot hold her forever," Nightmare Moon admitted. "And I want to save my strength for when we do fight. Can I count on you to slaughter as many of those foalish sun-loving ponies as you can before the end?"

"My queen..." Rarity sighed and slid her knife out of the sheath strapped to her hind leg. Rather than the extension of herself that it had been before, now it felt like some foreign object, like it wasn't really hers. She had stained it with the blood of many innocent ponies in the five years since Nightmare Moon's return. Now all she wanted was to be done with it.

"My queen, you must think of your subjects. Is it not your role as their queen to protect them? Celestia will grant them amnesty if she is victorious, I am sure of it. Besides, I do not think I could even kill one before whatever's coming through that door kills me, especially if Celestia is leading the charge."

"Have you not been paying attention to yourself?" Nightmare Moon asked incredulously. "You are the deadliest pony in the world!"

"I am. I am not invincible, or even all that hard to kill, really. I am afraid that there is little I can do to help you win this fight."

"You are a coward!" Nightmare Moon screeched, pouring more magic into her horn as cracks began appearing on the shield she had over it. "I should have you executed as a traitor!"

The door shook again, and the cracks became larger.

"I am not betraying you, my queen. I am merely advising you."

"Your advice is wretched!" Nightmare Moon snarled. "You are not one of my advisors! You are only a weapon, nothing more! I tell you what to kill and you do it! I am now ordering you to kill anything that comes through that door!"

"My queen, I cann--"

"Do not lie to me! You will fight for me or suffer the consequences!"

"I am not lying, my queen. I would never lie to you," Rarity replied, bowing low.

"You have been loyal to me all these years, Rarity. Do not withdraw that loyalty now. Now it shall be put to the greatest test." Nightmare Moon turned to address her soldiers as the barrier around the door began shattering. "There is no greater honor than dying for your queen! Anypony who falls here today will be honored forever in paradise, while all that they slay shall rot in Tartarus for eternity! Anypony who runs now will share the same fate!"

Rarity inwardly sighed. She just wanted the matter done with. She would not survive today, that she was sure of. She had killed too many ponies for Celestia to grant her any other mercy except for a quick, painless death. But that was okay. As long as she could help Sweetie Belle, then she would be glad to accept whatever punishment Celestia gave her.

The door finally burst open, and a hoard of Coming Dawn soldiers poured in. Nightmare Moon and a few ponies armed with crossbows fired into the crowd, felling many ponies. The Shadow Guard at the door was instantly slaughtered by the sheer volume of enemies, allowing The Coming Dawn to fill the room. Princess Celestia herself walked into the room, wearing heavy battle armor and wielding a gigantic war hammer. One Shadow Guard rushed toward her, sword at the ready, but Celestia crushed him with one blow from her weapon. Nightmare Moon let out a cry of rage and charged at Celestia, who fired a beam of magic at her. Nightmare Moon brushed the attack aside and summoned a black mace of pure dark magic.

Rarity slowly nodded and sheathed her knife. She had to leave quickly if she was to get Sweetie Belle before The Coming Dawn could stop her. She quietly exited through one of the side doors of the throne room while the battle raged around her. Once away from the battle, Rarity broke out into a full canter. The friction of her uniform rubbing quickly against her body opened up a partially healed cut on her shoulder. She ignored the blood that began dripping down her leg. Sweetie Belle was more important, and it was just a little cut. Nothing to worry about.

She burst into her quarters and slammed the door behind her. "Sweetie Belle! Sweetie Belle, The Coming Dawn is here! They've come to rescue us!" Rarity ran into Sweetie Belle's room and saw her sister lying on the bed, not moving as usual. Her sister was almost thirteen now. She could still recover from this, Celestia would make sure of that. She could maybe even get her cutie mark soon.

"Sweetie Belle, get up!" Rarity ran over to her and put her hoof on her back. "Princess Celestia is with The Coming Dawn, so I'm sure that..." Rarity frowned when Sweetie Belle still didn't move. "S-Sweetie Belle?" Rarity shook her sister, but still she did not move. "Come now, you need to get up. You're safe now, Sweetie Belle. Y-you'll be..."

For the first time since entering the room, Rarity noticed the smell of burnt fur. Her eyes widened, and she turned Sweetie Belle over, screaming when she saw her sister. Her face was twisted into an agonized shriek, and the fur around the necklace fused to her neck was blackened and burnt.

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity shrieked, shaking her sister as if that would magically undo what had been done. "No, no, no! We were almost there! Y-you can't be--"

Rarity pulled her sister close and cradled her in her forelegs. She sobbed into her sister's mane and gently rubbed her shoulder.

"I'm so, so sorry, Sweetie Belle! Big sister is sorry! I tried! I tried to p-protect you! We were so close to being free."

The door to Rarity's room burst open. "You!" Rarity heard charging hoofsteps, but didn't react in time to prevent the powerful hind legs from slamming into her side. She flew back with a cry of pain, dropping Sweetie Belle's body. She hit the wall and felt another cut open up from the impact. That didn't matter. She had to get back to Sweetie Belle. She took a moment to recover, then began crawling back over to her sister.

"Do you have any idea what you did?" the pony snarled. "Mah sister is dead because of you! We trusted you!"

"It's okay, Sweetie Belle,' Rarity whispered, picking up Sweetie Belle's body and cradling it. "I'm going to find some way to fix this."

"You can't fix it!" the pony screeched. "Mah sister and her friends ain't ever comin' back because of you!" The pony scoffed and began circling Rarity, who still didn't look up. "How did it feel, puttin' that rope around mah sister's neck? How did it feel watchin' her die?" The pony stopped behind Rarity and leaned in next to her ear. "Ah was there. Ah remember everythin'. Do you? Ah had ta watch those buckin' Shadow Guards draggin' mah sister and her friends up to that scaffold. You were there right next to the lever. Ah remember that Miss Rainbow Dash and Miss Fluttershy didn't have their wings no more, and that Twilight pony didn't have her horn. That was you, wasn't it? You probably enjoyed it."

Rarity flicked her ear, but didn't respond. She needed to comfort Sweetie Belle. She needed to make sure her sister knew she was safe.

"Mah sister was ten times the mare you'll ever be," the pony snarled. "If she weren't muzzled like the rest of 'em, she probably would have forgiven you before ya killed her!" A hoof collided with Rarity's head, but she still didn't react. "Ah lost everythin' because of you! Ah lost mah sister and mah home! Mah granny died of heartbreak, and mah brother died fightin' that tyrant you serve!" Rarity heard the sound of a knife being taken out of a sheath. "Look at me before Ah kill ya. Ya owe me that much. Ah wanna see it when you die!"

Still Rarity did not move. The pony growled and pushed Rarity down, shoving Sweetie Belle's body aside before pinning Rarity to the floor.

"Ah said look at me!"

Rarity stared at Sweetie Belle for a few moments before slowly turning her head and looking at the pony standing above her. She was young. Far younger than Rarity expected. She might even be Sweetie Belle's age. Blood dripped from both a cut on the pony's forehead, and the knife she held in the crook of one of her forelegs. One of her ears was missing a piece, and criss-crossing scars marred her face.

"Ah wanted ya ta see this," the pony growled. "See what ya did. Ah started fightin' as soon as Ah could, ya know. Got captured on mah first mission. Ah was only eleven. Yer queen decided that if Ah was fightin' Ah was still old enough ta know important information. She had her Shadow Guard do this ta me. Ah remember that Ah just wanted ta die when they started, but I didn't break. That was the only thing keepin' me goin' when they were doin' that stuff. Ah knew they'd get bored and just kill me. Ah just had ta hold out until then. When Ah didn't give them nothin', they told me they were sendin' fer you. That gave me the strength ta get out. Ah hadn't killed anypony before, but Ah killed somepony when Ah escaped. He didn't think Ah could. Laughed when he saw me runnin' at him. Ran right inta him and broke his neck." The pony ran the flat of her knife against Rarity's cheek. "Ah sometimes wonder what ya would have done ta me if Ah hadn't gotten out." She bared her teeth and pressed the tip of the knife into Rarity's cheek. "Probably woulda made what them Shadow Guard did seem like nothin'."

Rarity didn't respond. She had heard enough. Sweetie Belle was more important. She looked away and tried scooting over to Sweetie Belle. She needed to comfort her. The mare growled and slammed the knife into the joint of Rarity's foreleg, nearly pinning it to the ground. Rarity shrieked in pain, but didn't stop trying to reach for her sister.

"That's right: scream," the mare said, a smug smile on her face despite the tears that had started falling from her eyes as she pulled the knife out. "Y-ya deserve everythin' y-ya get. Ya h-hurt me! Ya hurt a lot of ponies! J-just--"

"Apple Bloom!" a powerful voice roared. The mare squeaked in fear and instantly got off of Rarity. Rarity used the opportunity to sit up and grab her sister. Her blood dripped onto Sweetie Belle's coat, but that was okay. They could clean it off. Then Sweetie Belle would be fine.

"P-Princess Celestia," Apple Bloom whimpered. "Ah--"

"Leave now," Celestia said coldly. "I know you're hurt, Apple Bloom, but this is not how you were trained to act around captured enemies."

"But--"

"Go. We shall discuss this later."

Apple Bloom sighed and muttered an affirmative before slowly trudging out the door. When she left, Princess Celestia closed the door behind her and locked it. Rarity didn't care about that. All that mattered was fixing Sweetie Belle.

"My dear Rarity..." Rarity flinched when Princess Celestia put a hoof on her shoulder. "I am sorry for Apple Bloom. It excuses nothing, but she has been through much. More than any other filly her age I have ever met."

"I'm not angry with her," Rarity muttered, ignoring the pain in her leg. "If you want, she can kill me once this is all over. Then--"

"No. That would solve nothing. Apple Bloom does not need to go down that dark path. Besides, revenge would not fix the wounds she has sustained, physical and mental, nor would it bring back her lost family. I will do whatever I can to help her, of course."

"Of course." Rarity turned to look back at Celestia. Despite her intimidating armor, she looked gentle. She gave Celestia a hopeful smile and extended her forelegs to move Sweetie Belle closer to her. "Can... can you fix her?"

Celestia paused for a moment, almost as if in thought, then lit her horn and scanned Sweetie Belle with her magic. She grimaced and shook her head as she powered down her horn.

"I'm sorry, Rarity. She is gone."

"Oh." Rarity's ears flattened, and she drew Sweetie Belle closer. "Yes. I understand. I think I knew that, but I just... I couldn't believe that. I still don't want to." Rarity sniffled and nuzzled her sister's mane. "Through all these years, all of the kills, all of the torture I put ponies through, I kept going for her. I said every day that you were coming to save us. To save her. 'Just hold on for a little while longer. She'll save you. It will be soon.'" Rarity sighed and closed her eyes. "I suppose Nightmare Moon noticed I wasn't fighting and triggered her little failsafe she used to keep me in line. Either that or she wanted to hurt you by murdering a young filly before you could save her."

"I would do anything to bring her back, Rarity, you must believe that."

"I do. You were close. You almost managed to save her." Rarity sniffled and squeezed her sister's body. "I know you can't forgive me for what I've done. Even if you can, Equestria won't. I can't ever forgive me for what I've done. I'm willing to accept a public execution if it helps ponies move on."

"Just as Apple Bloom would not benefit from revenge, neither would Equestria," Celestia said, sitting next to Rarity and wrapping a wing around her. "I know you are not a bad pony, Rarity. You were put in an impossible situation. I cannot blame you for that."

"I was selfish," Rarity whispered. "I just wanted to save Sweetie Belle, so I killed who knows how many ponies? I lost track after a little while. I ended the lives of all of them to save one. It w-would have been better to just let Sweetie Belle go; make it so that she didn't have to endure this Tartarus while her big sister slaughtered ponies to protect her. She shouldn't have had to live with that."

"None of us should have," Celestia said. "You should not have been forced to kill for Nightmare Moon."

"I wouldn't say I was forced. I had a choice. The path I didn't take would have led to the deaths of myself and Sweetie Belle, but I would have saved many lives. I just didn't want to watch her die. I was scared." Rarity took a deep breath and bowed her head. "Do what you must with me. It doesn't matter anymore, does it? My sister is dead, my friends are dead, my parents are dead... I have nothing except the memories of what I've done. Equestria hates me. I can't imagine that you don't hate me too, Princess Celestia. I pulled the lever that killed your student."

A pained look crossed Celestia's face. She withdrew her wing from Rarity's back, and tears began welling up in her eyes. "I... I cannot say that her death has not hurt me. I will remember her and the pony she was forever. It is as I said: you... you were put in an impossible situation, and if you had not done it, somepony else would have. You were trying to protect your sister."

"And at the end of the day, I didn't even succeed in doing that." The blood from her wound began pooling on the floor, with the first drops hitting Celestia's. The bleeding was increasing. Princess Celestia gasped and lit her horn for a healing spell, but Rarity waved her aside.

"Princess, just let me go. If you won't publicly execute me, there's no point in keeping me alive." Rarity began feeling lightheaded as blood poured out of the wound. "Let history hate me. Paint me as a monster. That shouldn't be too difficult. I was a foal murderer even before all of this began. Say you slew me battle. All of Equestria has to know who I am by this point. They would rejoice at news of my death."

"Rarity, I can still help you. I believe that anypony can be healed. The Elements chose new bearers, and Princess Luna has been cleansed of the darkness that turned her into that wicked pony. I will forgive myself for that one day, and I can forgive you too."

"But... I can't." Rarity's breathing became more labored as she lost more blood. She slowly laid down on the floor, all the while holding onto Sweetie Belle. "I don't envy Princess Luna in the coming years. She is going to hate herself more than anypony will ever hate the memory of me or Nightmare Moon." Rarity allowed herself a small smile as her vision began growing dark. She felt cold all of a sudden. "Tartarus is going to be paradise compared to all of th... this. M... maybe I c-can go to... Paradise. If I d... do. Maybe S... Sweetie Belle will forgive..."

Author's Note

Had an idea, decided to end it this way. Hope you enjoy it.

Regret

Rarity's eyes slowly fluttered open.

At first she thought it had all been a dream. Her queen had not been defeated by Celestia. The Coming Dawn was still gathering its strength, waiting for the right moment to strike. Sweetie Belle hadn't been killed. But upon further inspection, Rarity noticed something she hadn't seen in five years. Something she never thought she'd see again. Something that made all questions of her previous memories being a dream go away.

A single beam of sunlight coming through the window.

Rarity tried to push herself up, hissing in pain when she put weight on her wounded foreleg. She laid back down and examined the leg. The previous scars hadn't gone away, but the area where she'd been stabbed had been wrapped in white bandages. For whatever reason, Celestia had decided to spare her. She'd decided to let her live through a living hell for a little while longer. Rarity looked around the room and saw, to her surprise, that she wasn't in a jail cell. In fact, she didn't appear to be anywhere in Nightmare Castle. It didn't make sense for her to have been moved to Canterlot Castle either. Nightmare Moon had trashed it once she'd finally managed to take over.

That had been a bloody battle.

Rarity more gingerly slid out of the bed she had been placed in and examined the room further. She didn't recognize it, though she could tell that it had been recently cleaned. Perhaps she had been moved to Canterlot Castle after all. She limped on three legs towards the door and tried the handle. No luck. It was locked tight. Rarity sighed and nodded. Saved or not, she was still a prisoner to the restored regime.

Just as she'd been a prisoner to the last one, though in a different way.

Rarity noticed a pleasant odor, and turned to see a tray with some food next to her bed. The back of her mind told her that she was hungry, but she didn't care about eating. Out of curiosity she walked up to it. It seemed to be a stew of some kind, alongside what appeared to be freshly baked bread. She shook her head and turned away from it. She didn't deserve it. She certainly wouldn't have treated any captured enemies this way. She'd have merely slit their throats.

Rarity's brow furrowed, and she looked down to her right hind leg. As expected, the knife she'd always kept strapped there had been removed, along with the strap itself. Rarity didn't feel any surprise, no prisoner would be allowed weapons they were so proficient in, but it felt... odd to not have it. It had been an extension of her and her queen's will for the past five years. It almost felt like she'd had her horn removed. Her eyes flicked up to her horn. Instead of removing it, Celestia had opted for the standard magic blocking ring.

Before Rarity could consider her situation further, her door swung open and Celestia walked in. Rarity glared at her and sat back down on her bed.

"Come to rub your cruelty in my face?"

Celestia flinched back before closing the door behind her. "No, Rarity, I have not. I'm merely checking to see how you're doing. The spell I placed on the room alerted me that you'd woken up. I admit that it was rather touch-and-go for a while there. Even after I cast a few healing spells on you, I was not certain you would survive."

"You should have let me die, Celestia," Rarity hissed. "What do I have to live for now, hmm? I killed my parents, I killed my friends, and I was too slow to save my sister. I've killed dozens of ponies over the past five years. Equestria will never forgive me for that."

"They might if we explain that you were forced to do it," Celestia said.

"And they'd believe it?" Rarity retorted. "You forget that I was a foal murderer even before Nightmare Moon put a knife in my hooves." Rarity shook her head and looked down to the floor. "My life is over, Celestia, even if you didn't let me die. There is no way I'll be allowed to simply re-integrate into society."

Celestia remained silent for a few moments while both of them thought the situation over. Eventually, Rarity sighed and looked back up at her.

"And what of Princess Luna? What is to happen to her?"

"It will be a difficult adjustment," Celestia admitted. "She has much she feels she needs to atone for, but I am hopeful that with time she can rule beside me once again. I feel she had as little control of her actions as you did."

"If so, then she had a lot of control." Rarity laid back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "I could have chosen to defy her at any moment. I could have thrown down my knife and told her to go to Tartarus whenever I wanted to."

"But she would have killed both Sweetie Belle and yourself, then carried out the kills she ordered you to do anyway," Celestia countered.

"It would have been more difficult for her. Besides, would that have been such a terrible thing? I'd be in Paradise with my friends and family. Not lying here with only the memory of the look of agony on my sister's face to keep me company. Was Sweetie Belle's life more important than those I took? No, it wasn't. I took the coward's route, but she died anyway." Rarity looked back at Celestia and glared. "Nightmare Moon said that any ruler's first two acts should be one of kindness, and one of cruelty so that their subjects would know that they are capable of both. I assume that how you are handling Luna's situation will be your act of kindness. Am I your act of cruelty?"

Celestia's eyes widened. "No, you are not! I do not believe in cruelty. I believe it would have been cruel to let you bleed out on the floor next to your sister's body."

"Then you know nothing about what I've endured," Rarity said bitterly. When an old dog spends every waking moment in pain and fear, you don't extend its life so that it can feel that longer. You put it down to remove its misery. Letting me die would have put me out of my misery." Rarity extended her good foreleg, showing Celestia the criss-crossing scars that marred the white fur. "Does it look to you like I was happy? Do I seem like somepony capable of moving on?"

"Rarity, I..." Celestia sighed and bowed her head. "I made my choice. I couldn't stand to just let you bleed out, not when I'd already seen so much death mere moments before. Several good, loyal ponies died fighting for me that day. Dozens more brainwashed, threatened, scared ponies died fighting for my sister because they believed it was their only option."

"Not all of them," Rarity growled. "I served with those ponies for five years. Tyrants will always attract sadists. I was merely the best at it."

"I... see." Celestia's gaze flicked back up to Rarity. "So what do you wish for me to do with you now?"

"Honestly?" Rarity sat back up in bed and stared Celestia straight in the eye. "Just let me die. Return my knife to me and... I suppose I'll just go out into the Everfree Forest. I'll die, the predators will eat my corpse, and I can be forgotten by history while I burn in Tartarus. Unless, of course, you plan on publicly executing me to give the ponies who suffered under Nightmare Moon's rule some measure of revenge."

"Rarity, I cannot do that! Your life is precious, and even though--"

"My life is worth nothing!" Rarity snapped. "If you do not provide me with a way to bring about my death or simply perform my execution yourself, I will spend the rest of my days trying to bring it about myself. I will find something sharp, I will twist my bedsheets into a noose, I will find an open window, I will kill myself, Celestia, is that clear? Or are you planning on putting me in a straitjacket in some cell monitored by guards for the rest of my days? Whichever option you choose, my life is over. I will not merely try to re-adjust to life here. I... I simply can't."

"Oh Rarity..." Celestia took a deep, shaky breath and wiped her eyes with a wing. "I'm so sorry. I will do whatever I can to help you. I--"

"Then bring. Me. My. Knife. Let me at least go out with some kind of dignity, not that I deserve it."

"I..." Celestia shook her head. "I cannot do that. What happened to you was not fair. Your actions were not your own. I know the kind of mare you were before all of this. You would have never chosen to follow Nightmare Moon if she hadn't threatened Sweetie Belle first. I cannot simply let you die." Celestia desperately reached a hoof out to Rarity. "Let me help you."

"I have already stated how you can best help me."

Celestia stood up and walked closer to Rarity. "All life is precious, Rarity. I know that your life can never go back to what it was. None of our lives can. But not all is lost." Celestia extended her hoof again. "I ask again: let me help you. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you have as happy of a life as I can give you. I will work myself to the bone to ease the pain you are feeling. I--"

Rarity shot forward and slammed her hoof into Celestia's neck. The sudden weight of Rarity sent Celestia tumbling back, and she let out a cry that was more shock than pain. Wasting no time, Rarity landed on Celestia and began slamming her hooves into every part she could reach. She knew she couldn't do any real damage, but that wasn't her goal anyway.

The door to her room burst open, and two guards armed with spears rushed in. They cried out in shock when they saw Rarity hitting Celestia, and one charged forward, knocking Rarity away. He raised his spear and was just about to thrust it downward into Rarity's neck when it became encased in a golden aura.

"Sergeant, no!" Celestia cried, tearing the spear out of his grasp. "She... she didn't truly intend to hurt me."

"Oh, but that's where you are wrong, Celestia," Rarity said, a manic grin spreading across her face. "I am still loyal to the one true queen of Equestria! Unless you put me down first, I won't rest until I'm standing in a pool of your blood!" Rarity turned her grin to the guards, causing them to flinch back. "And that goes for you two as well. You and your wives and your foals and mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters! I will kill all of them to restore my queen to her throne!" Rarity shot to her hooves. "Tell them all. Tell everypony that you meet that I'll come for them in the night. You'll nestle into your pillows, expecting sleep to take you peacefully. But I'll be there, and what happens next will be anything but peaceful."

"Monster," one of the guards whispered, taking a step back and pointing his spear at Rarity.

"Rarity, that is enough!" Celestia commanded. "I know what you are trying to do, and I will not allow it!"

Rarity shrugged and went back to her bed. "Perhaps I wasn't truthful about restoring Nightmare Moon, but the rest..." She grinned at the guards again. "Just wait until I get my hooves on my knife again. I miss its touch."

Celestia glared at Rarity, then turned to her guards. "Leave us."

"But Princess Celestia, what if--"

"I am in no danger, and neither are you. Leave us." The two guards bowed and left the room, leaving Celestia and Rarity alone once more. "Rarity, there was no need for that. I can help you if you'll just let me." Rarity didn't respond. She merely turned her back on Celestia and stared at the wall. After a few moments, Celestia sighed. "Very well. We shall speak more on this later."

With that, Celestia left the room. After waiting a few minutes, Rarity raised her head and looked at the door as if expecting Celestia to walk through again.

"So close," she muttered to herself.

* * * *

Rarity awoke some time later to the sound of her door opening. She inwardly sighed and sat up. "Celestia, I told you--"

Her eyes instantly widened when she saw who had entered her room. Instead of Celestia, a blue alicorn, barely larger than Rarity herself, stood before her bed. She merely stared at Rarity, but beneath the passive expression Rarity saw pain that even she couldn't fathom. Rarity blinked in surprise and she slid off of the bed.

"P-Princess Luna?"

Luna shook her head. "No. I do not deserve that title. Especially not to you. I..." Luna took a shaky breath in and her gaze trailed to the floor.

"What are they saying about me?" Rarity asked, taking a tentative step toward Luna.

"They are demanding your execution after your attack on my sister and your threats to commit more murder if you are ever free," Luna muttered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I do not know what will come of that." Luna's jaw began wobbling, and her shoulders began convulsing. "I... I..."

Before Rarity could say anything else, Luna threw herself at Rarity's hooves, her sobs filling the room. Rarity raised her hoof to take a step backwards, but Luna grabbed on to her second foreleg and held it close.

"F-forgive me!" Luna moaned. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I kn-know th-that I can never undo the things I have done; what I made you do to your family and friends. I'm sorry I k-killed your sister! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!"

Rarity stared at Luna, whose sobs had grown powerful enough that she couldn't even speak anymore. She gently set her hoof down and sat down in front of Luna. A flash of hatred coursed through her, and she briefly wondered if she would have more success crushing Luna's throat if she attacked. Part of her felt that Luna might not even fight back. The anger and hatred was almost instantly replaced by pity. Rarity took a deep breath and put her hoof on Luna's shoulder.

"There is one thing you can do for me."

Luna shot into a sitting position, her eyes wide. "Name it."

"Bring me my knife." Rarity looked to the window, just out of her reach. "I can't do this anymore. Your sister refuses to help me. She wants only to keep me alive. Bring me my knife, and..." Rarity looked back to Luna. "Let me be with my sister and parents again."

Luna blinked a few times, too shocked to even cry. After a minute of silence, she slowly began nodding. "I suppose if I can show you one kindness after the years of torture I made you endure..." Luna nodded again and got to her hooves. "I will help you."

"If you do, consider your debt to me paid."

Luna shook her head. "No, dear Rarity. Nothing I will do from now until the end of all things will ever do that. I would spend that eternity trying, but I cannot. If this one small kindness is the best I can do, then I will do it." Luna lowered her head. "I do not think I shall resume my position as princess. I shall limit myself to caring for my moon. It is my wish that Equestria forgets about me. As I cannot make things right with you, nor can I erase the pain I caused them."

"Perhaps, but the difference between you and me is that you have the time to make things right with them. Their lives can improve. They can move on from this. I cannot."

"We shall see." Luna made her way to the door, stopping just before she reached it. "It is nearly dinnertime. I shall have something brought to you."

Rarity frowned. "You don't have to do that."

Luna looked back at Rarity. "I wouldn't be so quick to say that. I said I wished to bestow upon you one kindness. I shall do that."

* * * *

One hour later, Rarity's door opened again. She slid out of her bed and saw Luna standing in her doorway, a tray floating next to her. The ponies guarding Rarity's room had a dazed, glassy expression, and they stared ahead as if they didn't even know Luna was beside them. Rarity nodded and took the tray from Luna, who returned the nod and shut the door behind her.

Rarity set the tray down on the ground and took the top off. She saw only a plate of toast, eggs and a single cupcake.

Right alongside her knife.

Perhaps Luna wanted to give her one last meal.

Rarity ignored the food. She didn't deserve it. She merely reached out and picked up her knife. She shuddered when she touched the hilt with her hoof. It was like hugging an old friend again. She transferred it to her mouth so she could move around, then made her way to the bathroom. With any luck, they wouldn't be able to stop her. She turned on the hot water and waited for the bathtub to fill up before sliding into the tub. The water felt like it would burn her skin, but she didn't focus on that. She merely submerged her body to the neck before slowly raising one foreleg. She watched the water drip off of her foreleg before taking the knife in the crook of her foreleg and lifting the knife into the air.

With a smile of contentment, Rarity leaned her head against the back wall and brought the knife to her throat.

Author's Note

Last one, I promise. Like all of my writing, I had an idea that I wanted out.