Author's Note
This was going to be a oneshot.
Help me.
And Over And Over
I guess it's up to you to make sure they don't.
How long had it been? Since she had said that? Days, weeks, months, years? It was hard to tell, honestly. They had an estimation, of course. Twenty-seven days, that they could tell. Of course, that was assuming time worked the same way as it had before. She snorted to herself; time didn't exactly work anymore. No, Starlight had made sure of that.
She scowled and shook her head. No, Starlight was innocent in this. Well, innocent being a rather... loose term. Time travel was unpredictable at best. Starlight was misguided; a shadow of a pony. No; this wasn't her fault. At least not entirely, the situation being what it was.
It didn't always seem like that, of course, and there were times when Twilight found herself scowling, or being quick to anger at the other purple pony. As for Starlight, her optimism soon faded into a resignation. She fought against their fate as best she could, and denied her doing in what had happened for a long time. But even for Starlight it was too much, and guilt soon caught up with her. Even Twilight and Spike wanted to blame her. Maybe it wasn't her fault, but it wouldn't have happened if--
No.
She sighed. I guess it's up to you... It was bitter irony that she had said that. She had given Starlight new hope; another chance. Only for them to have it ripped from their hooves as they spiraled deeper and deeper down the rabbit-hole that was time. She had hoped to give Starlight a new life. Friends, purpose, a home. Instead, they had both been sent through Hell, with no way out.
"Equestria 27. This place is calmer than E26, but it is an uneasy silence. There seem to be no ponies around at all, only forest. No animals, no wind, no signs of life. In a way, I sort of miss E26."
Spike snorted at Twilight's words as he wrote. "Wow, this place really is getting to you."
She smiled wryly and turned to pace again. "It's uncomfortable. At least in E26 we had something to do. Here, though..." She turned to Spike and eyed him curiously. He had adjusted to their situation well enough, for a baby dragon. Minimal complaining, which was good. In a way, though, his seemingly perfect adjustment was in itself worrying. She wondered if he had gone into a type of shock.
"I always have something to do." He smiled and rolled his eyes as he held the quill higher. They giggled, and Twilight shook her head. They had no idea what would happen next. It was a hard call, but she decided to leave him alone for the time being. Without doctors or Celestia to help her, she had no idea how to help her little dragon deal with what was going on. It wasn't the healthiest thing to do, by far, but she decided to let him distance himself. So long as his mood didn't change for the worse, it seemed like the best thing to do.
Twilight's ears flattened and she slowly looked over at the map. A lone purple shape sat, slumped over it. Starlight's mane was messy and her coat was unkempt. She looked like she had been through war. Which wasn't far from the truth, given where they had been a few E's ago.
"She won't talk today." Spike said softly. He had been hostile towards the other pony for several cycles (indeed they weren't quite 'days' anymore) but his anger slowly fizzled out. He didn't really care, she realized, he just wanted to go home.
"Maybe that's why it's too quiet." They shared a small smile. "Go get some rest, Spike."
As her assistant walked away, Twilight sighed and turned her gaze back to Starlight. Guilt gnawed at her belly, and she could only imagine how Starlight herself must have felt. She had said things, at the beginning; around the eight Equestria. She had started to lose hope of ever getting back home, and she had taken it out on Starlight.
Starlight was a tough pony, there was no doubt. But the weight of her actions, along with Twilight's words, had finally pinned her down. Guilt and sadness consumed her until there was almost nothing left. It made Twilight feel horrible; that her words and actions had such an effect.
"Hey... Nice peace and quiet, huh?" Twilight placed a gentle hoof on Starlight's shoulder. Starlight didn't react, and her steady breathing was the only sign that she was alive at all.
Twilight grimaced at the thought. She remembered, vividly, the eighteenth Equestria. Starlight had been desperate to find a way out of their loop. She had tried everything; staying up all night, running as far from the map as she could, anything that she thought might help. It never worked, of course, and they all got sucked into the portal at approximately midnight every night.
Finally, she snapped. Hurled herself right off a cliff. Whether it was another time-loop-ending idea or an admit of defeat, Twilight honestly didn't know. Didn't want to know. Didn't ask. (It was probably both.)
It did something, though. For the first time in almost twenty loops, the portal sucked them through at a different time. For a moment, a mad moment, Twilight wondered if the spell was linked to Starlight--like a curse. And once she was gone--
But it wasn't so. They came out of the portal in a new world, next to the map, same as always.
Something was wrong with Starlight, though. She wasn't the same after that, which Twilight understood. She had died. And yet, there they were, same as ever. Except for the fact that Starlight walked with a limp and couldn't look anyone in the eyes.
Twilight didn't blame her. Whatever had happened... It was something only Starlight knew. Deep regret filled Twilight, and they all moved on a bit differently. On to the next Equestria. Business as usual.
I could have stopped her. Twilight sighed once again. Tears stung at her eyes, though they didn't fall. She had shed enough tears in their month of travel. It didn't stop everything from hurting, though, and she knew in her heart that she could have stopped Starlight.
It was just... For one moment... A split second...
She didn't want to.
The thoughts and emotions swelled up within her all over again, and she hung her head. It was a moment of weakness that she would regret for the rest of her life, however long that might be. And as she looked over at Starlight, she realized that may be a very, very long time.
"Well... We should eat soon. Though with how quiet everything is, I'm not sure I trust this forest entirely..." Twilight gazed around them and tried to play off her emotions. They were useless now. There were more important things to worry about. When Starlight didn't reply again Twilight turned around. "We'll, uh... We'll get some food for us. I think there was a pond to the South...?"
Her silent plea went unanswered, though, and she trotted away with her head low. She couldn't handle it much longer. Though, admittedly, it wasn't like she had a choice. But seeing her friend (could she even call her that?) so sad was like a stab to the gut. There was nothing they could do.
Or was there?
...No, not really. They had gone through every option. Every spell. There was nothing left. Every day they traveled to a new Equestria. One where everything was different in some way, and wasn't home. Theoretically, there were an infinite number of possibilities, which was an infinite number of timelines to travel between. That was an infinite amount of time to be travelling.
That was a very long time.
Of course, Twilight mused, that meant there was the possibility that they could end up back in their timeline at some point. But when? A thousand years, after they had seen Equestria destroyed time and time again? Or could it be tomorrow? The chances of them returning to that time where so small Twilight couldn't even reason them. A trillionth of a trillionth of a percent chance was too big of a number.
She stomped the ground angrily beneath her hooves and grit her teeth. She had wandered far enough away from the table that the others couldn't see her, and she let her anger begin to seep through.
"Celestia damn it." She hissed. She kicked a rock on the ground and watched as it skittered away into the tall grass around her. They were trapped, forced to endure timeline after timeline. And at what cost? Their sanity? Their happiness? What was the point?
Twilight grunted and sat down heavily. Would she ever see her family again? Her friends? She could see versions of them, certainly, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't them, really. Just like in the world Sunset traveled to; there were similarities, but they weren't one and the same. She figured eventually she wouldn't care, but at the moment she still had a shred of hope that wanted to see her real family and friends.
Of course, the chances of that happening--
She shook her head as her thoughts circled back. No, they had to have hope. Any number of things could happen. Maybe one day the spell would wear off, or they could figure out a counter spell that didn't catch her mane on fire and give Spike polka dots. (Okay it was a bad plan. But it was an attempt.)
She was an Alicorn with no power to stop what had become their fate, but she could still move on. It was the best option at the moment. Keep the others calm and safe, and work from there. That was easier said than done when you travel to worlds dominated by Discord and Sombra and who knows who else, but it was all she had.
She glanced up at the sky and saw the sun was still in the center of the sky, though it had to be approaching dusk. So, there was no Celestia in that world. Or Luna.
Twilight closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. They had been through a lot in the last twenty seven days. And there would surely be more to come, no matter how much she wished to wake up in her bed the next morning. All they had to do was keep moving. Keep hoping. Something was bound to happen eventually.
She looked back up at the sky wistfully and half expected Rainbow Dash to zoom by at any second. Sadly there were no clouds, no pegasi, and no Element of Loyalty. How she longed to hear even Rainbow's boastful voice. She would never complain about her friend's attitude again, she swore to herself.
Rainbow's voice, Pinkie's parties, Fluttershy's soft whispers... Memory after memory flooded her mind as she thought about her best friends. She wondered if it was possible that they missed her, somehow. If they lived in a timeline without her, or if they had ceased to exist like they once had? They even could have been in the timeline she was in currently, without a clue that she existed.
The thoughts were the worst pain she ever felt. She ached down to the bone as she reflected on her friends and her time in Ponyville. It had been just over a year since she moved there, but it felt like a lifetime. So much had happened. Was it all gone?
She swallowed hard as a tear slid down her cheek. Her hope had all but depleted in their time traveling, but she knew they had to keep going. And she had to keep positive, for the others. She couldn't break. It would only drag down Starlight and... Spike. She couldn't let him down. Her and Starlight were battered and damaged to a degree, and she had to keep Spike away from a similar fate. No matter what.
Her ears pricked up when she heard a rustle in the trees behind her.
"Spike?" Her breath caught for a second. There had been no one else in the area, not even wildlife. A part of her mind tickled with the question 'why?' but she had figured it was just another odd quirk for the timeline they had landed in. But as the rustle got closer and the shadow in the trees got bigger, she realized she may have miscalculated.
"You there, Alicorn, what year is it? Who is the leader of this land?" A soft but deep voice surprised her out of her thoughts, and she stood quickly. The stallion in front of her eyed her wearily, and she did the same.
"Who wants to know?" She squinted to make out his form in the dim light caused by the thick trees. He was an older stallion, a light color of some sort. Most prominently , though, he had a rather large beard that had been snagged and grabbed by countless branches, some of which still hung within the fine white hairs. Twilight's breathing hitched and her eyes widened as she took in the site before her. "That's... That's not..."
"Not possible?" The old stallion chuckled and stepped into the open a few yards from where the younger pony stood. "You would be surprised at how often I have found 'impossible' is not a valid answer."
"S-Star Swirl?" Twilight's legs shook as pure awe overcame her. "W-wait, so in this timeline you're alive?!" It was amazing. Somepony she had looked up to for years, and she had finally met him! Of course in her universe he was dead so she wasn't sure if it really counted, but she would take it! That also meant perhaps he could help her escape from the loop!
"'This timeline'?"He stepped forward slowly and lowered his head. She felt herself shrink under his gaze. He narrowed his eyes at her and spoke in a low, somber tone. "Please, young princess. Please tell me you did not use my time travel spell."
Twilight didn't know what to do. There was Star Swirl, in the flesh, with a disappointed look in his eyes. How could he even be alive? She had thought all of the timelines had been messed up because of her friendships. But Star Swirl was gone long before that. And how could he have known about--
Before she could properly figure it out, she fell to the ground with a solid 'thud.'
"Oh dear... I think she fainted!"
"Twilight? Twiiiiliiighhht?"
Twilight sat bolt upright with a startled gasp. In the process she hit her head on Spike's face, and both of them reeled back in pain. Spike hit the ground with a grunt, and Starlight had to shuffle to the side to avoid being hit. The fourth party, however, immediately had Twilight's full attention.
"Ah! Splendid! You're awake!" Star Swirl grinned at her, "I'm afraid time is running out, and we must talk! You see, as far as I know I have been the only one trapped in this time loop for several centuries--at least, that is my best guess of time. With you three added in, however, I feel like there is the possibility of us finally getting out of it."
Twilight blinked as she eyed the stallion in front of her.
"I... But we're stuck, too." Her ears drooped as she admitted it, "We can't help..."
"Nonsense!" Star Swirl grinned at her, "You're an alicorn, and you were smart enough to change my spell and cast it, correct?" The pride in his eyes was not lost on Twilight, and she shuffled her wings self-consciously. As much as she wanted the credit, it wasn't true.
"I am an alicorn, yes." She admitted. "But it was Starlight who changed the spell. She is an amazing magic caster. I'm sure she could be much more help than I. Though, of course, I'm willing to help."
Starlight's ears perked up at the mention, and a ghost of a smile made her lips twitch. Then, however, she remembered what had caused her to change the spell, and she drooped back down. She wasn't feeling much of a help to anypony, especially not the princess and a famous spell caster.
"Well then, my dear--Starlight, was it?--You and I will work together, then. You see, when the spell was altered, it stuck you three in a loop at such a pivotal moment that now all parallel timelines have been brought to the forefront. Alternate universes becoming reality. Since no two universes are exactly alike, this makes the changes that I'm sure you've seen."
Spike and Twilight nodded, and Starlight tilted her head slightly. Star Swirl began to pace as he continued to think out loud.
"You see, my friends, I was not so lucky. I did not create a loop, or an anchor point to return to. As such, I have been drifting aimlessly. There's no real pattern to what time, or what reality, due to the inconsistent nature of time travel. I'm sure you've experienced the same?"
"Twenty seven days, all in a different future." Spike piped up, "Some good, and some bad. None of them have been like the old Equestria, though."
"Ah, I see." Star Swirl considered this information and turned his back on them for a moment. When he turned back, he seemed more serious, though it was obviously not in his nature to be so. He turned to Twilight. "What point in the past was altered?"
And so Twilight explained, entirely, the circumstances that led to that precise moment. She included her past interactions with Starlight, the friend from fillyhood that abandoned her, the creation of the spell, and their sudden inability to return home. Star Swirl sat quietly and listened, with only an odd question here or there. He cast a glance over at Starlight, but she had once again retreated into herself due to the retelling of the story. His eyes were soft as he watched her droop and cringe as the story progressed.
He also noted the factual tone of the princess. She had obviously removed herself emotionally from the situation, probably an affect of mental instability related to such a trauma. Despite this, however, she showed compassion in regards to Starlight. It was interesting, and he believed it was just the situation they all needed to return home.
Unfortunately, he began to wonder if the solution was going to be harder to achieve than he had thought.
"I believe I have a plan." He said slowly as the final pieces began to come together. "However, I fear time is running short. There is no time to explain; I will tell you your parts, and you must act without explanation for now. I promise, however, that one day we will meet again. And I will explain everything."
With that said, he began to instruct the three travelers with how to act, and what to do to return them all home.
