Wasteland Survival Guide: Zoology Edition

by The Infinity Doctor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 3128

Equestria has its fair share of mysteries and wonders- foremost among them is the Everfree Forest. This, however, is not the story of said forest, as told many times before. This is the tale of two foals, a mystery, and a hole in the ground.

Equestria has its fair share of mysteries and wonders- foremost among them is the Everfree Forest. This, however, is not the story of said forest, as told many times before. This is the tale of two foals, a mystery, and a hole in the ground.

Published 2016-01-26 02:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-08 02:57:42 UTC

Chapter 1: Radiation and You!

"It is a guaranteed fact that, when leaving the safety of your local Vault, radiation will have mutated and deformed the local wildlife. Survival of the fittest is key, should you ever encounter these ill-mannered creatures."

[Blind Eagle's Bluff, outskirts of Fillydelphia, Equestria]

"Uhm...P-Posey? Are ye sure we should be out this far? We're awful close to the cliffs..." Big Bolt, an Earth Pony colt with a steel grey coat and dark grey mane asked.

"Ahh, quit your worryin', will you?" Pristine Posey replied, rolling her eyes "It's not like I'm going to take a running leap and jump over the edge!"

Any newcomer to Clear Springs, Fillydelphia, would take one look at Big Bolt and Pristine Posy, side by side, and think they were polar opposites. Posey was a yellow-coated, red-maned filly, and in some ways, she was perhaps Big Bolt's opposite- she was outgoing, energetic in everything she did, and always seemed to brighten up a room upon entering, making even the brightest of lightbulbs jealous.
Big Bolt, on the other hand, while not as outgoing as Posey, was still fairly social- he went to parties with his friends, fishing with his father on occasion, and even just hanging around the schoolyard, he just didn't see himself as charismatic and confident as his friend.

"Pose?" Bolt asked, his friend nowhere in sight.

"Over here!" she called, popping out from some bushes, rather close to the edge of the cliff.

"What in Celestia's name are you doing?!" he hissed, glancing anxiously at the cliff, as if it were about to collapse.

"C'mere!" she beckoned, motioning for him the follow.

He did so with great caution, eyeing the edge as he followed Posey.

Hidden amongst the bushes Posey was just in, was a badly faded, blue and yellow sign, pointing away from the cliff's edge, and towards a seemingly-random spot, some ways from where the current sign was.

"What's that say?!" Posey asked excitedly, shaking Bolt's body back and forth as she did so.

He squinted at it, only vaguely aware of what it could possibly say.

"Uhh...'something-something way'?" he questioned "Can't make out much more than that..."

"Doesn't surprise me, given how damaged this is..." Posey responded, tentatively poking the rusting sign with a hoof.

Some of the rust came off on the bottom of her hoof, and she winced, scraping the amber brown bits on the sparse grass underhoof.

"So uh...what now?" Bolt asked.

Posey hummed to herself, glancing in the direction the sign was pointing.

"We investigate!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"Investigate what exactly?" Bolt asked "There isn't anything here but a rusty old sign and some grass, nothing's been here since Clear Springs was founded."

"How do you know that?" Posey asked, dumbfounded.

"Pop said so himself, he and Page Turner even let me see the old maps of the area from way back when- not a single thing was ever built here."

"But obviously there was something, if this sign is here."

"I 'unno, it was there in black and white." Bolt shrugged, then glanced up to the sky "It's getting late, anyhow, want to head home?"

Posey scuffed her hoof in the dirt, and replaced the bushes to their original positions as best as possible. She then trotted over to Bolt, whom watched on in confusion.

"Ready!" she grinned, heading back to town with the grey colt.

'There must be something there!' she thought to herself 'Something I missed...some clue or...or...something!'

She resolved to figure out the sign, the mystery, behind Blind Eagle's Bluff.

[Later that night, Posey's house]

Posey poked at her green beans and spinach at dinner, her mother and father talking about something or other...

Thoughts whizzed in and out of her head, all concerning the sign, and mystery of the Bluffs. She wasn't a history fanatic, it was one of the few classes she was just barely able to pass.

'Maybe Ms. Trotter would be the right pony to ask...' she mused to herself.

She suddenly heard her name called, and her head shot up, almost flinging a strand of green bean across the room.

"Y-Yeah?" she asked, blushing.

"I said, you've hardly touched your food," her father stated "is something wrong?"

"Sort of..." she replied sheepishly, not sure if even her parents would buy into her theory.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"I think...there's a mystery, right here in town!" she exclaimed.

"Oooh~, a mystery!" her mother replied, wiping a bit of mashed green bean from her baby brother's muzzle "How exciting!"

"I'm serious! An honest-to-Celestia mystery!"

"What's the case, Private Eye Posey?" her father joked.

"The sign posted over on Blind Eagle's Bluff." Posey responded.

"Eagle's Bluff, eh?" her father stated, leaning back and glancing at the ceiling "Been a good long while since someone took interest in the old legend of those old cliffs."

Posey's ears swiveled upward, her interest peaked.

"Legend?" she asked.

"Yep! Old griffon explorer named Blind Eagle mapped out this whole area, shortly after Celestia and Luna unified the three tribes."

Posey nodded, she'd learned all about the Unification during Hearth's Warming last year.

"Anyway, some ponies and other griffons came to an agreement, and staked a claim out near where the Post Office is now."

'That's just a few blocks from here!' she thought, adding a mental note to visit and investigate.

"Then along came a herd a' Buffalo, wantin' the same space as the established colony," her father continued "story goes, Eagle got a rumor goin' around the buffalo camp that gold was at the bottom of the cliffs, and some idjit just happened to leave a marker near the cliffs to show where it was."

"But...but the sign points away from the cliffs." Posey responded, frowning.

Her father nodded.

"Apparently the Buffalo didn't know that," he chuckled "got so excited, they went and tumbled right over the edge, in an effort to get to it- real mess, I was told- took the sea forever to wash out all the-"

"Dear, not at the dinner table." her mother interrupted.

Posey frowned some more, and glanced to her father.

"That wasn't very informative, Dad..."

"I guess it wasn't, then again, it is just an old foal's tale," her father replied, waving a forehoof "just something to draw in tourists."

Posey hummed to herself, and continued to eat her dinner.

'This is going to need a bit more research...' she pondered.

[The next day, Big Bolt's house]

"So you think that sign has something to do with the legend and the cliffs?" Bolt asked, the both of them sitting in on a large, overturned apple crate.

"Almost positive!" Posey cheered, then taking a sip of her juice box.

"'Almost'?" Bolt said, uncertain.

"You know what I mean!" Posey replied, straw popping out of her mouth as she rolled her eyes.

"Well...we should definitely do some good, hard research before we do anything really drastic." he replied.

"We?" Posey questioned "I thought you said you didn't buy into the legend?"

"Well...yesterday got me thinking...about why the sign is there too, so...I figured I'd help out..."

Posey grinned, and leapt off the crate.

"Today, begins a remarkable journey into the mysteries of Equestria!" Posey exclaimed, a forehoof extended towards the sky.

Bolt rolled his eyes good-naturedly, and gave a smile of his own.

"Keep it down out there!" Bolt's father shouted, from inside the house, followed by a groan.

"Sorry Pop!" Bolt called back, apologetic.

"First things first- to the Post Office!"

"Bwah?" asked Bolt, baffled.

[Clear Springs, Fillydelphia - Equestrian Postal Service Building]

"Here it is!" Posey squeaked excitedly, pointing to a bronze plaque affixed to the right side of the building's front.

"'Here stands the site of the once-flourishing settlement, 'Fort Hippogryph'," Bolt read aloud "'known for its diverse trading fairs and vendors, as well as races from all walks of life, which were quite revolutionary, as well as unheard of for the time period, one of the great mysteries of Equestria, is how this long-standing settlement met its demise.'."

"Now we have TWO mysteries to solve?" Posey asked, rubbing a temple "Being a detective is hard work..."

"Let's just focus on the sign for now, we can come back to this one later." Bolt chuckled.

"Alright..." she sighed "well...this isn't much help either..."

Bolt glanced around, searching in vain for anything that might be able to help them in their quest. He saw practically nothing, only serving to add to his frustration.

"What about the library?" Bolt asked.

An lightbulb suddenly went off inside Posey's head.

"I've got a better idea!" she exclaimed.

Author's Note

Beginning of a new series of snippets and short stories around an idea I had.

Basic plot is "events of the Fallout series happens, time passes, and Equestria and the rest of the world as we know it comes into its own."

Chapter 2: Living underground has its Perks

[Clear Springs Schoolhouse]

"Mrs. Trotter? You here?" Posey called, cracking open the door to the one-room schoolhouse. A radio was off in the far corner of the room, tuned to one of the local stations.

"Posey! Big Bolt, too!" the peach-colored, older mare exclaimed, looking up from her desk "What in Celestia's name are you doing here on a Saturday morning?"

"We have some questions for you!" Posey explained.

"They couldn't have waited until Monday?" Mrs. Trotter asked, an eyebrow raised.

"We couldn't wait that long! It's important!" she replied.

Mrs. Trotter sighed, and sat back down at her desk.

"I suppose...I was almost finished grading these papers, at any rate..."

"What do you know about Blind Eagle's Bluff?" Bolt asked.

"The Bluffs? What on earth would be of interest over there?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

"The old sign, and the legend!" Posey explained once more.

Mrs. Trotter nodded in understanding.

"Ah, well, can't say I know much about either...other than what you might've heard a thousand times already."

"But...but you're our history teacher!" Posey pouted.

"I'm sorry kids," Mrs. Trotter apologized, shaking her head "but that old legend has been around longer than the haycart, way back in the Unification period- not much is known from around that time as it is, much less the origins of an old foal's tale."

"I...I...see...thank you, Mrs. Trotter..." Posey sighed, dejected.

"I honestly wish there was more I could do, but...I'm not sure how much help I'd be." the schoolteacher chuckled.

Bolt opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly, the radio in the corner popped and hissed, broadcasting a stream of fizzling static.

"Oh for...that's a brand new radio, that shouldn't be happening!" Mrs. Trotter shouted over the noise, covering her ears.

Bolt edged close to the radio, wincing in pain at the sound, before shutting it off.

"Thank you, Bolt." Mrs. Trotter said, uncovering her ears.

Bolt nodded and gave a half-smile.

"Wait...you said this is a new radio?" Posey asked.

"Yes, I bought it just last week, as a matter of fact- why do you ask?"

Posey's ears swiveled up and out, picking up a distant whine.

"Bolt, do you hear that?"

Bolt flicked his ears, and raised them, attempting to mimic the positions Posey's were in.

"What do you suppose that is?" Bolt asked.

"I don't know...but I've a feeling this investigation isn't over quite yet." Posey responded, galloping out the door.

"Thanks again, Mrs. Trotter!" Bolt called back, following his friend.

"Stay safe!" the schoolteacher called, hoping that the two foals had heard her.

[Clear Springs Town Square]

"You hear that?!" Posey exclaimed over the din of dozens and dozens of radios all hissing and screaming as the same time "It's happening all over town!"

"Then what do we do to stop it?!" Bolt complained, shouting as loud as she did.

"Go right to the source, naturally!"

Bolt went wide-eyed as he watched Posey pick up a radio from a local shopkeep in her magic, and dart off. He shook himself out of his stupor and followed her, glancing back to realize that her thievery had not gone unnoticed, as the same shop owner that she'd swiped the radio from were now hot on their heels, shouting for them to stop.

'Has she lost her mind?!' he wondered, now two or three other ponies chasing after them.

At this rate, they'd have half the town after them!

Meanwhile, Posey lead the herd, running up and down the streets, attempting to get a better signal. Soon running out of town to scamper through, she now realized that the signal seemed to be getting less distorted...maybe- but it couldn't be, could it?

'Only one way to know for sure!' she thought, charging towards the bluffs.

Half a gallop later, she'd reached the bluffs, and the broadcast was, as she'd guessed, much clearer than it had been inside the town perimeter.

Not too long after, Bolt and the rest of the small herd reached the cliffs, as well.

"Young lady..." the shopkeep panted, sweat running down his forehead "you'd better have a DARN good reason for this..."

"I do! I do!" Posey exclaimed, gesturing to the radio.

"...Omega Bravo. This message will repeat in ten seconds. We are broadcasting on all frequencies, AM and FM. SoS, please respond ASAP, we are trapped, situation is now at Omega Bravo. This message will repeat in ten seconds..."

"Celestia's beard!" one of the townsponies gasped.

"It sounds dire!" another cried.

"What should we do?!" asked another.

"Not panic, is what we're going to do." the shopkeep who'd been chasing Posey stated, as some other ponies began to worry.

"And then what?" asked a mare in the rear.

"Someone go and fetch Iron Foresight, if he says it's as bad as the broadcast makes it sound...we're going to need all the help we can get..."

"Oh no..." Bolt groaned, as the group began planning.

"What's the matter?" Posey asked, genuinely confused.

"Foresight is my dad...oh dear Celestia...he's going to be so mad to work on his day off..." he fretted.

Chapter 3: The Big Dig

The last few weeks had been a blur of activity for Clear Springs. A troop of the Royal Guard had been deployed to the small town in order to oversee operations concerning the dig. Naturally, something that big does not go unnoticed by the press- almost all the hotels and rooms for rent were full of reporters. Posey should know- almost every reporter from here to Canterlot had been pestering Bolt and herself about the discovery of the radio signal. Telling the story to the press got old after the fifth time.

Posey and Bolt were currently on their way home from school, en route to the dig site.

"Think they're almost done?" Bolt asked, referring to the mass excavation going on at the cliffs "I heard they're starting to dig pretty deep."

"Hm..." Posey responded, not too interested in the conversation.

"You feelin' alright?" Bolt asked.

"Just a little tired of all...this..." Posey replied, motioning to the gathering of reporters around the mouth of the pit.

"I get what you mean..." Bolt agreed "the construction workers, the reporters...seems like everyone's rushing around lately."

"Well...I guess they're in a hurry to complete the rescue."

"I guess..."

The two continued their walk, now near the mouth of the deep pit being dug by excavators and a few Diamond Dogs from the local pack helping out. It kind of warmed her heart to see ponies and Diamond Dogs alike helping out with the cause.

"Find anything yet?" Bolt called to his father as they stopped, a good meter from the lip of the pit.

"Almost..." Iron Foresight replied, wiping soot from his muzzle "Granite says there's something down there, but either something's interfering with his magic, or there just ain't anything down there."

Posey gulped hard. If there wasn't anything down there...by Celestia...she'd be in so much trouble. Time and money down the drain, all because the town had put stock into what she showed...

Her anxiety had continued to build, until a sharp crack was heard.

Posey was snapped from her stupor as she peered over the edge of the pit.

The shovel of the excavator was resting against something blue and faded, most likely the object having been struck by the shovel. Ponies and Dogs began shouting, some whooping with joy as they continued to dig, clearing away the remaining dirt. Guardstallions formed a blockade around the now-ecstatic flock of reporters, firing off question after question to the guards.

Posey became curious as the last of the debris was cleared from the area surrounding the blue metal, which now resembled a gear or a cog; an enormous, gear-like shape buried underground. The number "78" was emblazoned in the center of the door.

A well of questions sprang forth in Posey's head- where had this strange thing come from? What did it have to do with the radio broadcast? How long had these ponies been trapped for this thing to be so far underground? Where did this mysterious thing lead? What could this mean for the future of Clear Springs?

Posey took notice of a metal stick poking out of the ground, near the door; a rectangular box with a large button and a keypad attached to the end of it.

A squad of royal guards approached what Posey could only assume was some type of control for the door. Another pony approached the box, this one she recognized as a regular at her father's shop. His name was Code Breaker, or something to that effect- she was honestly too caught up in the excitement that she'd lost any interest in vague names. The Earth pony glanced at the keys for a few minutes (which seemed to stretch into hours for Posey), and he steadily raised a hoof to punch in a sequence on the pad, and pushing the button. Posey and the rest of the assembled ponies cringed as a harsh alarm rang out, drowning out the loquacious reporters at last. The alarm sounded three more times, and silence fell over the cliffs. A few seagulls could be heard calling in the distance- you could hear a pin drop. Posey suddenly felt disoriented as the ground beneath her hooves began to rumble, the earth itself seeming to pulse with all the excitement of a Parasprite in a pillow factory.

"What's g-going on?!" Bolt shouted over the din, losing his balance.

"I- I don't know!" Posey exclaimed, nervous as all get-out.

Dirt and dust kicked up from the center of the pit, and the enormous door began to sink further into the ground. The guards around the door scrambled away from the newly-created opening, shouting orders as they climbed and flew out of the crater, respectively.