Anniversary Plans

by Hope Caster

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Big Macintosh, Applejack
Length: 5636

Big Macintosh goes on a quest to give Rainbow Dash a pleasant evening for their one year anniversary. If only he knew what to get her.

Being in a relationship for a year is a milestone for any couple. For Big Macintosh, it is a milestone that he is happy to have reached. Too bad pride isn't a gift that Rainbow Dash would like. With less than 24 hours, Big Mac will have to hurry to find the perfect gift for a mare that has given him constant joy, some annoyance, and everything else that comes with having a girlfriend. At least he can be thankful that other parties are helping him with everything else.

Won second place in KarmaDash's MacDash Community contest, Prompt A.

Cover art by KarmaDash, used with permission.

Published 2016-01-30 07:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-30 07:10:02 UTC

Anniversary Plans

Big Macintosh “Big Mac” Apple was, to say the least, a very simple stallion. He had a simple job, simple needs, and a simple family. However, his girlfriend was anything but simple. Ever since he was young, mares had always confused him, however, no mare had confused and amazed him more than one. Her name was Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash was a pony that was, to say the least, incredible. She was confident, able and willing to try anything new, and flew with the grace and agility of a humming bird with the speed of a cheetah. He had always had a small crush on her, but he never thought that she would ever go for a guy like him. Actually, he did. As far as he knew, every mare in town wanted a piece of him. He wasn’t proud of that fact, but he knew it was true. The problem was his shyness. That was beside the point though. He always liked Rainbow Dash, who was coincidentally his sister’s best friend, but never had the guts to say anything more than ‘eeyup’ or ‘eenope’ to her.

That all changed exactly one year ago. While Big Macintosh was unable to say more than two words to anypony outside his family, Rainbow Dash could talk to anypony, and ask anything. On this day, exactly one year ago, Rainbow Dash asked Big Macintosh, “Hey, do you wanna grab some lunch?” She didn’t wait for him to respond. She answered for him by dragging him off the farm and shouting an apology to his little sister. From there it was history.

Of course, all of history is riddled with wars (petty fights), deadly plagues that nearly wiped out pony kind (that time Rainbow got the feather flu and needed some TLC), and financial debt that threatened the economy (Hearts and Hooves Day and Hearths Warming). Today was one of those days.

He still couldn’t believe it. A year. The two ponies had been dating for a year. Mind you, it was an extremely good year, but Big Mac couldn’t help but be shocked that it was going so well. He was sure that the relationship would have turned sour the moment he said no to her cider request. Still, this was not a time for celebration. That came later. Big Macintosh wanted to really surprise her with something nice.

Luckily for a stallion such as himself, nice came easily. Knowing that he was nothing short of a disaster in the kitchen, his cousin Braeburn, who was on an extended visit after meeting a mare, offered to cook their dinner. His sister’s boyfriend offered to help him pick out a gift, probably because he wanted to make Mac like him. His was Soarin J Nimbus, and Big Mac reluctantly accepted his help.

It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming and on days like these, guys like Soarin were sitting on a park bench relaxing and periodically handing out autographs to excited foals. “Oh, hey Big Mac!” he called as he saw the red stallion walking towards him.

Big Mac nodded, giving Soarin a sign that he’d been seen.

“So, you ready to start searching?” He said, gliding over to meet the stallion.

“Eeyup.”

“Nice!” Soarin cried with enthusiasm matched only by Braeburn. “So what did you have in mind?”

Not missing a single beat, Big Mac asked, “Can you get me two tickets to a Wonderbolt show?”

Soarin’s smile instantly fell, replaced with a now confused expression. “Wait, is that what you want? Is that all you want?”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac stated.

Soarin froze for a few moments before taking a deep breath. “Uh… Big Mac, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Rainbow Dash is a reserve, if she wants to see a show, or a derby, or anything Wonderbolts related, she literally just needs to say so and she’s in. In fact she does. Think about it. You two have been to nearly all of our local shows. Rainbow Dash met the team back stage, you have met the team backstage! Do you honestly think she bought the offensively pricey back stage passes for all of those shows? No, she didn’t. She didn’t have to, she was allowed back stage because she was part of the reserves.”

“What?”

“Yeah, and even if she wasn’t part of the reserves, she could have just asked me, and she could have still gotten some really awesome seats.”

“What?” Big Mac asked again.

“I can still get them for you if you want, but I don’t know if it’ll be that surprise you’re going for. After all, she’s a reserve for the next show, and since Stormfly has a wedding that day, she’s part of the show.”

Big Mac felt a black claw slowly begin to twist his insides. As much as he hated to admit it, his only plan revolved around Soarin giving him at the very least a discount on Wonderbolt tickets.

“Is there anything else she’d like?”

“Cider, but AJ has been up all day guarding the cellar we keep the hard stuff in. There ain’t no way I’m gonna be able to get any, not from her anyway.”

"Couldn't we ask her for it?" Soarin asked. "Actually, that wouldn't work, she's stubborn about that type of thing. Well, the market’s open, I could help you find something she’d like.”

Sighing, Big Mac nodded and the two went on a quest to find the perfect gift. They failed, miserably. While the marketplace was alive with ponies and gifts alike, none of them truly jumped out at either of the stallions. Soarin had managed to find a few good trinkets that would sate any gift quota, but they were too simple. Big Mac had found a few gifts, but put them back. They were too expensive, and not Rainbow Dash, they were more towards Rarity’s taste than anything else.

Both began to lose hope. Maybe they’d never find the perfect gift, or even a gift to give Rainbow. Suddenly, right after seeing Apple Bloom and her friends stroll by, talking about some mundane event, Soarin had an idea. He had an awful idea. Ha had an awful terrible idea. He had a wonderful, awfully terrible idea. To keep himself from shouting it towards the heavens, he closed his mouth, and refused to reopen it.

Looking back to see if he was keeping up, Big Mac gave Soarin, who was holding his breath. “Something on yer mind?” He asked.

Looking around, as if to make sure that the coast was clear, he brought Mac close to him. “Well, I just saw your sister and her friends, and I thought of something… disturbing.”

“I think I want to kill you,” Big Mac stated.

“Not like that! I was just thinking, unless a miracle happens, the present is going to suck. So why don’t we do something that’s a little heavy handed?”

Big Mac raised a brow.

“Seeing your sister and her friends, and remembering how they get into places nopony would think possible, I just thought it would take maybe ten bits each to bribe a few kids to do something that’s practically a chore. Imagine if we got them to get a barrel of cider.”

“You want to get someone to steal cider?”

“Realistically, they’re not even stealing anything. They’re just moving a barrel of cider that you own, from one part of the farm to another.”

“Soarin, are you saying that we steal cider from my family?” Big Mac repeated.

“No! No, I was saying that you own the cider, so all we would be doing is telling Apple Bloom and her friends, those sweet, innocent fillies who would never do anything wrong, to move a single barrel of cider. Nothing more. You’d just so happen to find to find that barrel, probably think it was a below the quality level you adhere to, and, not wanting it to go to waste, serve it with your dinner.”

Big Mac stood there, glaring at Soarin. He was suggesting going behind Applejack’s back, using his baby sister no less, to take a barrel of hard cider that Rainbow Dash would love. “Soarin, that is the dumbest thing ah have ever heard. Why couldn’t ah just go and steal it?”

“That’s just what she’d be expecting. Also, we’re not stealing, we’re… appropriating,” Soarin said, giving Mac a wink.

“And how would we get past ma sister?”

Soarin once again held his breath. He flared his wings, warming them up for a quick getaway incase things went south. “Well, while you stay here, hire the crew, and search for your perfect gift, I’ll have to distract her,” Soarin said. Spreading his wings and flying as fast as he could, he left before Big Mac had the chance to respond.

With the bittersweet taste in his mouth after bribing his sister and her friends to steal cider while Soarin was ‘distracting’ Applejack, Big Macintosh was back to square one. He futilely trotted through town, browsing the wares various street vendors, hoping that something would pop out. Before resorting to town vendors, Big Mac had traveled all across Ponyville to speak with Rainbow’s close friends. He went to Fluttershy’s for assistance, only to discover that she was over at his house with Braeburn. Not wanting to interrupt them, he tried going to Twilight for ideas. He thought about getting temporary wings, but she refused, citing a small incident involving Rarity.

His next stop would have been Pinkie Pie, but she was at her parent’s rock farm for a short visit. Finally he asked Rarity for help, only to lose an hour being told about a date anypony but Rainbow would love to go on. She also suggested that he show Rainbow a night of passion within the barn, but wasn’t happening. After all, he had to set a proper example for Apple Bloom and what it meant to be in a serious, mature relationship. It also helped knowing that his granny was very traditional when it came to overnights on her property.

He groaned as his mind began to collapse in on itself. Rainbow had all the Wonderbolt merchandise in existence, she already was using her reserve benefits, and to top it all off he was banned from the cider cellar. He couldn’t reach into the future and get the next daring do book, nor could he surprise her by somehow getting A.K. Yearling to meet Rainbow Dash, because they already knew each other on a first name basis.

Just when he felt like he was about to lose his head, he was suddenly hit with an epiphany. Maybe he was overthinking this. He was looking for the ‘perfect’ gift, when really, all he needed to do was show that he cared. Rainbow Dash was brash, a bit lazy, a tad selfish, but not more than the average pony, she loved good food, and how she was able to carry herself through near anything amazed Mac. She was a complicated mare, but she was also simple. She never really liked clothes nor did she like jewelry or any useless junk, and as long as the food was good, she could care less about what she was eating. What he needed was something she would like to have, something she would use. She used her Wonderbolt merchandise to motivate herself, she used her reserve benefits to study formations and to show him a nice time, she loved the deep fried, sugary apple snacks he would surprise her with, and she loved to sleep.

Big Mac began to think a bit clearer now. He was no longer looking for the ‘perfect’ gift, but a good gift, something she would find useful. And as he passed a small stand, he saw just that. Smiling, he placed a small bag of bits on the counter, and had it gift wrapped. He could only hope that the others were having as good of a time as he was.

Applejack needed a drink. She had been standing in front of the cellar door all day and needed to take a small break. However, she instantly lost that need the moment she stepped into the kitchen. It was known that Braeburn was a very kind, loyal colt that always came through on his promise. Tonight as an example, Braeburn was supposed to be cooking a wonderful meal for Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash.

Just because he was supposed to be cooking, does not mean he was. No, he was leaning against the counter, hooves wrapped around a petite pegasus, pulling her into a deep kiss. Applejack politely cleared her throat, earning the attention of the two ponies.

“Oh, Applejack, howdy!” Braeburn said as Fluttershy, who was blushing madly, took his hat and placed it over her face.

“Not touchin’ that. Aren’t you supposed to be cooking?”

“Well yeah, I-I was, but then I realized that I had some free time before I had to start, so I contacted a friend and asked if they’d like to help. They got here a little early and we started talking-”

“Stop right there, It was a simple yes or no question.” Applejack walked past the pair and got a bottle of water from the cupboard. “I’ll see you later Braeburn, Fluttershy,” She said as she left the room.

Braeburn sighed as he watched Fluttershy press he face deeper into his hat. With the mood strangled and left in a shallow grave, it was time to move on, and start prep the kitchen.

Soarin skulked through the halls of Applejack's home, he was convinced he was a master thief. He had managed to break into the household with little resistance by knocking on the front door and asking Granny Smith if he could come in. Cracking his neck, he began making a plan to distract Applejack. It would be easy, all he had to do was seduce her. First, he would walk forward, filled with to the brim with confidence. Looking at her with a cool expression, he’d give her a kiss that would say ‘I want you’. Shocked, she’d pull away, blushing, not knowing what was going on. Upon meeting his gaze again, she would feel it, an inner want, no, a fierce desire to be claimed. To cement this desire, he’d kiss her, longer, with bit more force, the kiss saying not 'I want you', but 'I need you'. In a heated frenzy, after a long make out session where he'd press her against the door she was guarding, they’d proceed to her room, where instincts would start to take over. From there? It was anypony’s guess, but he knew that whatever happened, the foals would have enough time to grab a barrel of cider and get out.

The moment he saw Applejack, standing guard at the cellar, he put his plan into action. Taking a deep breath, he strode forward. Instantly seeing him, Applejack raised a brow. Giving Applejack a grin sculpted from pure confidence, he continued walking forward, as if it was any other day. Upon reaching her, he very gently brushed his hoof across the side of her face, moving a few strands of hair and slowly leaned in. He pressed his lips against hers, catching her by surprise. After the perfect amount of time had passed, he pulled away, smiling brightly, cupping her chin with his hoof.

Applejack looked at him with flushed cheeks before menacingly glaring at him. “You have ten seconds to tell me why I should let you touch the cider. If I like yer answer, I will consider not dumping you like a sack of rocks for trying to pull something as stupid as this.”

Taken aback, Soarin knew he would need to change tactics. Luckily, he had a few back up plans for this. Plan B consisted of a more emotional approach, asking hypothetical questions that would make her want to give him the cider. He would remain cool, calm, and confident. If that failed, he would resort to Plan C. Plan C was simple; He would offer to pay for the cider like a customer, at double the value. If Applejack said no, then he would resort to plan D. Plan D was a last resort he prayed that he'd never have to resort to. He would cry and beg her not to break up with him. Then, after abut maybe fifteen minutes of bawling, while telling her she was the best thing that ever happened to him, he would beg her for just two mugs of hard cider, so her brother would like him enough to stop threatening him every time he took her out. But that was plan D. Now was the time to execute plan B.

“It’s his anniversary!” Soarin cried, nearly breaking into tears as he fell to his knees. “Come on, I thought you’d be okay with him getting a barrel! Please don’t break up with me! What were we supposed to do!?”

“Y’all could have just asked!” Applejack answered, as if it was the most obvious answer. “I won’t let him have cider any day of the week, but I can make an exception today of all days! What was the plan here anyway?”

Regaining what little composer and dignity he had left, Soarin began to explain. “Well, first I would stride forward, kinda like what I just did, plant one on you, and then, when you were consumed with lust I would take you upstairs. Then while we were going at it, Apple Bloom and her little friends would break into the cellar, steal a barrel and then we’d market this as Cider Heist.”

Applejack groaned as she shook her head. “Soarin, if the end game was to seduce me, then you’d need to do a whole lot better than some kiss when you flash that creepy playboy smile of yours. This ain’t one of Rarity’s romance novels. Tell you what though, since I feel bad that I ruined your plan that because I have half a brain, we can go up to my room, close the door, and cuddle until Mac comes home. You keep yer hooves above my waist, you keep it in your pants, and if you're really good, you might get another apple cinnamon pie in a few weeks. Agreed?”

Soarin opened his mouth to say something.

“I might need to remind you about a very strict rule Granny Smith has when any y’all are over and spend time on the farm. None of this playboy business unless it’s between two ponies with earrings in their ears, understood?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Soarin agreed, looking down at the ground.

“Good. So are you gonna go get the cider now?”

“I’ll let the kids handle it. Who knows? At least they might have some fun.”

Later that day, after checking to see if the coast was clear, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and for some reason Spike managed to make their way to the cellar door. Big Macintosh had given them a job to move a single barrel of hard cider to the barn without Applejack knowing. To sweeten the deal, Big Mac had promised them each something in return if they were successful. Spike would get a comic and a few rare trading cards, Apple Bloom would be able to get out of one punishment of her choosing, no matter what she did to get grounded, Scootaloo got to be the third wheel the next time Rainbow Dash and Big Mac went to see the Wonderbolts, and Sweetie Belle got to include Spike in the heist, which had earned her a groan from the other two fillies. If Applejack did catch them, then they were on their own.

Step one of the heist went off without a hitch. Soarin was doing stuff to distract Applejack. What he was doing exactly, Big Mac didn’t mention, but Scootaloo knew it was awesome because it involved Soarin, the second coolest pony ever. Step two was also a breeze. They had managed to steal the key to the cellar from Granny Smith by asking very nicely for it before she took her late afternoon nap. Now was the time for step three.

Nodding to each other, Apple Bloom used the key and opened the cellar door. “Okay, when we get in there, we-”

“I call Spike if we split up!” Sweetie Belle instantly chirped.

“Noted. We head straight to the back and roll a barrel of cider out the backyard entrance to the cellar. If we hear anything, we hide and wait for a few moments. If worse comes to worst, Spike, you’re taking the blame for everythin’, we clear?”

“Why do I take the blame for everything?”

“Because you’re cannon fodder,” Scootaloo stated.

“How am I cannon fodder? I saved the entire Crystal Empire!”

“And yet nopony here cares.”

“I care!” Sweetie Belle chirped.

“Can y'all talk about this some other time? We have a barrel of cider to steal!”

“Appropriate,” Sweetie Belle reminded Apple Bloom. “Big Mac clearly stated that we were moving a barrel of cider that he owns from the cellar to the barn. It’s not stealing, it’s appropriating.”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and led the foals down the cellar, making sure to lock the door behind them. As the room became dimly lit, Sweetie Belle grabbed hold of Spike’s arm, much to his surprise. Going down the center path, the foals looked around as they slowly made their way to the back of the room. All around them, there were countless stacks of barrels, each topped with a sign marked with a year.

Seeing the countless barrels that were significantly closer to the yard door, Scootaloo finally asked, “I don’t get it, why can’t we just steal one of these?”

“Cause Big Mac wants the hard cider, and that’s in the back.”

“Also, we’re not stealing, Scootaloo, we’re appropriating!” Sweetie Belle forcefully whispered.

“Sweetie Belle, they’re the same thing,” Apple Bloom whispered.

“We know, Apple Bloom. Appropriating just sounds a lot more legal. Hey, Sweetie Belle, can you please let go of my arm?”

“But it’s dark and I’m scared!” She whimpered with a quivering lip. "D-do you want me to feel unsafe in this deep, dark, frightening cellar?" Tears began to well up in her eyes as her grip on Spike's arm tightened. "W-wouldn't the hero of the Crystal Empire, let a poor, sweet, innocent filly like me hold on to his arm, if it meant that she felt safe?"

“Wait, I thought you were weren’t bothered by the dark,” Scootaloo said, her voice echoing across the room.

There came a short moment of silence as before Sweetie Belle mumbled, “I’m not letting go.”

“Can y'all stop!?” Apple Bloom demanded. “We need to get a barrel and get out of here, fast! Spike, jus’ let Sweetie hold yer arm. Sweetie Belle, I swear if ya start huggin him or somethin’ stupid like that, I’m gonna bash ya upside the head. Scootaloo, ah need ya ta stay focused.”

“When am I not focused?”

“Everyday!” Apple Bloom shouted. She quickly covered her mouth and froze in place. Despite their loud voices, echoing through the cellar, protruding the walls, nopony came. It wasn't because nopony heard them, Applejack was just too busy taking a nap in Soarin's embrace.

The foals stood still for what seemed like hours, but after hearing the flickering of the lone light that lit the room and the synchronized beating of their hearts, they knew were safe. Unhindered, save for Sweetie Belle who refused to let go of Spike, the group made it to the back of the cellar and began to roll one of the barrels out to the backdoor which lead to the backyard. Once out in the large field behind the farmhouse, the foals all helped roll the barrel of cider to the barn, placing it next to a few unused barrels that stood idly, providing nothing more than something for Big Mac to lean on after a hard day’s work. Sweetie Belle did not hesitate to grab Spike's arm again.

“Wow, that went off without a hitch,” Apple Bloom stated.

“You sound disappointed.”

“Well, no offense Spike, but when yer us, things tend to go south fast. I was more than certain that Applejack was going to... show up.” Apple Bloom turned around quickly, as if expecting to see Applejack standing behind. Nothing. “Girls, Spike, I think we just pulled off the perfect crime."

"Wow, if that's the case then can I have my arm back now?” Spike asked, trying to pull his arm away from Sweetie Belle. He was disappointed to receive a no.

Later that day, when the sun had fully set, Big Mac managed to finish all of his preparations. The table was set, and a letter inviting Rainbow to dinner had been dropped off by Derpy. Thanks to Braeburn and a very flustered Fluttershy, he had an amazing meal and according to Apple Bloom, she and her friends had obtained a barrel of perfectly aged, perfectly cooled hard cider. By some combination of miracles, luck, and fate, he had everything he had hoped for, from the cider to Rainbow’s glorious, wonderfully simple and awesome gift. The only thing left to do was to retrieve the cider.

Entering the barn, he found the only barrel with a metal faucet near the bottom. Smiling to himself that tonight had perfectly fell into place, he heaved the barrel onto his back and carried it to the table, placing it on a stool he’d taken from the kitchen. A feeling of pride began to wash over him. Everything was perfect, and Rainbow Dash was due at any moment. Nothing could ruin tonight.

Rainbow Dash landed at the appointed spot, and was surprised by what she saw. Peach cobbler, with a few new platters, including red velvet cake. The highlight had to be the barrel with a faucet at the bottom. She didn’t know what was going on, but whatever the occasion, she was in no way complaining about it.

“Happy Anniversary,” Big Mac greeted her, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes grew wide, as it suddenly clicked in her head. Today was the day she totally took initiative and broke Applejack’s stupid rule about dating her brother. Her eyes looked back to the dinner table that Mac had set up as a single thought rolled through her head. It was like her other thoughts about herself, except this one said that instead of being cool or awesome, she was the opposite of those.

“You okay?” Big Mac asked.

“Heck yeah!” She proclaimed. “Just a little shocked you remembered is all. I keep hearing these stories from Rarity, nearly all of the boyfriends either forget about holidays or confuse them. I was kinda expecting the second one when I got the letter.”

Big Mac chuckled to himself. He wasted no time in leading Rainbow Dash to her seat, noticing her eye guzzling the barrel that sat next to the table.

“So is that what I think it is?” On its own, her hoof was slowly making its way towards a mug.

“Eeyup!” Big Mac proudly answered.

Without needing anything else, Rainbow Dash grabbed the mug and quickly filled it to the brim with the cider, downing it in just a few moments. “Ah! That hit the spot!” She declared as if that one mug of cider was the entire meal. It was still cold, as if he’d just gotten it from the cellar, the one area she was banned from entering. She never understood why she was banned to begin with. She was a mare that knew that cider brought in major profits to her friends, and she knew she wouldn’t drink all the cider, just half of it.

Refilling her mug, she looked at the spread Big Mac had provided and licked her lips. The best part about being related to an Apple, he had a family that could cook. Loading up her plate with as much food as possible, Rainbow asked Mac a very simple question, “So, beside all this, anything interesting happen?”

Big Mac could only answer truthfully. “None much, you?”

“Oh man, my day was Awesome! First I started with my morning flight routine, which lasted like an hour….”

From here, Big Mac sat and listened to Rainbow describe the relatively normal day she had of flying, sleeping, and generally being lazy. Big Mac didn’t say much, nor did he want to, he never did. He enjoyed listening to Rainbow as she talked, ate, and drank a large amount of food and cider. And she was going to town. Having an unnaturally high metabolism, Rainbow Dash seemed to be on a personal quest to make sure nothing of their meal was left, especially the red velvet cake and the cider. Having a large appetite himself, he helped to make sure nothing was left over.

As Rainbow’s story came to a close, the serving dishes became vacant, and the barrel of cider ran dry, Rainbow’s words became more and more slurred as she talked. Big Mac was feeling a bit tipsy himself, but if there was one thing Apple stallions could do, it was hold their liquor.

“I’s mean, I told Rarity that I wanted to get you something, but she was just like, no! Apparently it’s just normal for the mare not to get the stallion anything! I’ma like, what? So I tried to say ‘screw you!’ Then she totally pulled a Rarity and forced me to do things her way…. That’s believable, right?” Rainbow asked, as she leaned on the table to help balance herself.

“Eeyup!” Big Mac answered, with a held back chuckle.

“Awesome!” She said, downing her last drop bit of cider. “Big Mac, I don’t know how to say this, but this entire night was just awesome.”

Big Mac merely smiled proudly. However, the night was far from over. Big Mac reached down the side of his seat and placed the resting present on the table.

Almost instantly, Rainbow opened it, like a foal on Christmas. From the box she pulled out a pillow/ She gave it a curious look for a few moments, before laying it on the corner of the table and putting her head on it. She instantly let out a moan as her head sunk into it. “This is like some memory cloud-foam things. I’ve wanted one of these for like, ever. Perfect fricken gift,” She mumbled with a smile. Her eyes instantly shot open. “Wait…. Is this some hint that ya want me? Cause I am not that type of mare! I need some privacy before I rut your brains out. Let’s… let’s head to the barn, weird stuff is on the table,” She stated, her eyes seemingly glazed over with a growing lust.

Big Mac, blushing and fighting the screaming voice in the back of his head, urging him to scoop the mare up, shook his head no.

“Why not!? It would totally be fun! I’m I just not good enough for you?”

“Eenope. Ah jus’ want to set an example for Apple Bloom is all. Can’t tell any of ‘er boyfriends paws off if I don’t.”

“Yeah, yeah. Your sister. Kinda pointless considering Apple Ja-Bloom is dating Soarin. Who knows what fun their having. Kinda lame that I don’t get laid though.” Rainbow seemed to drift off to sleep for a few moments before shaking herself awake. “I should probably get home.”

“Sure yer okay to fly?” Mac asked with a flat expression.

“I drunk better when I fly! I gots this,” Rainbow Dash assured as she stumbled away. Giving her wings a few good flaps, she felt herself lift off, only to begin moving backwards.

“Eenope!” Big Mac said as he carried Rainbow Dash on his back. “Not lettin’ ya take that chance of hurting yerself. Come-on, guest room is always open fer ya.”

“You’re such a worry wort,” She murmured, hugging her pillow close to her chest.

Big Mac carried a hammered Rainbow Dash to the guest bedroom of his home. As he put her in the bed and pulled the covers up, Rainbow Dash reached out and murmured what sounded like a stay. “Big Mac, can I be honest with you about something?” She asked as Mac moved her new pillow under her head.

“Eeyup.”

“I forgot what today was. I’m so sorry,” she admitted.

Big Mac simply remained silent, nodding his head.

“Did you know I forgot?” She asked as her breath began to slow.

“Eeyup.”

“I’m sorry I suck.”

“Ya don’t suck. Yer perfect.”

“Of course you would say that,” She sighed. “Why do you put up with me?”

Big Mac thought about his answer for a moment, as a moment was all he needed. “Cause I love ya.”

“That is the cheesiest line I have ever heard,” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Can we tell your grandma to stuff it, and you just sleep next to me?”

“Eenope.”

“Fine. Just wait until next year. I’m going to get you a gift so awesome, you’ll have to buy me like, fifty million awesome pillows like this one, and let me use you as a teddy bear. An awesome, red teddy bear.” Rainbow said, before she finally fell into a deep sleep, her new, awesome pillow, cradling her head.

Giving Rainbow Dash a kiss on her forehead, Big Mac went to his room, happy with how everything turned out.

Author's Note

This is written for the Mac Dash community contest. Prompt A, as it seemed no one was doing it.